presence but I do also loath and detest my sin O deliver me from it aid me by thy blessed Spirit that I may conquer and subdue all my corrupt affections O let that Spirit which was in Jesus be in me also that the life of Jesus may be seen in all my actions and the image of Jesus may be form'd in my Soul and my conversation may be in Heaven and here O Lord I offer up and devote to thee even my Soul and my body resolving to live a life of Devotion a life of Justice and Charity a life of Meekness and Humility a life of Industry and Watchfulness a life of Purity and Sobriety O Lord strengthen me O Lord establish me by the might of thy Spirit by the power of thy Word by the protection of thy Povidence that I may persevere and be faithful unto the end and so obtain a Crown of Righteousness through Jesus Chirst our Lord. 3dly The Exercise of Charity O my my God thou hast taught me by thy holy Word that thou art love that he only who dwelleth in love dwelleth in thee and accordingly I do find that thou art long-suffering and merciful that thou fillest even the Wicked and thine Enemies with thy goodness and O my blessed Savour and Redeemer I find that in this also thou art the express Image of thy Father and the brightness of his glory for thou camest from Heaven to Earth to die for thine Enemies to reconcile man to God first and then to reconcile and endear us all to one another and has taught us that we cannot be thy Disciples unless we love one another I do therefore most readily forgive all those that have wronged me either by word or deed I do from my heart readily pardon all those who have or do wish me evil or who endeavour or design me any I do earnestly desire to be the Child of my Heavenly Father and the Disciple of my dear Master in this point and therefore being jealous lest my reconciliation should not be sincere or perfect enough I do firmly purpose upon every opportunity to express my Charity towards mine Enemies my acts of Love and Kindness and lest after all I should not be zealous enough to promote that Love and Unity which is so dear and acceptable to my God and my Saviour lest I should not throughly coppy out the Divine pattern that is set me I will not only with unfeigned Humility and Affliction of Soul confess my offence make reparation and beg pardon for any wrong I have done others but I will wooe and importune those who have wrong'd me into a reconciliation For how well must this become me when God himself courts and beseeches the sinner and the Son of God Preach't and Prayed and Wept and Died for those who were irreconcileably set against him To be us'd by such as are conscious of Undutifulness towards their Governours and O my God I do now call to mind how unkindly how unchristianly I have behaved my self towards those who are my Governours in Church and State I have often made false slanderous and spightful reflections upon 'em and have aided and countenanced others in the like I cannot make to them a Personal Acknowledgment of my offences nor sue to 'em in particular for the pardon of 'em Here therefore before thee my God and my Judge whom I have hereby offended I do confess and bewail my sin and folly humbly imploring thy pardon and the assistance of thy Grace that I may henceforth walk in Christian Charity towards those who are my Governours thy Ministers for my good not only forbearing all Disloyalty Disobedience Malice and Uncharitableness my self but also discountenancing and opposing it in all others as far as in me lies O thou God of Love fill me with thy Divine Spirit fill me with Brotherly Affection and with a Fervent Zeal for the good of my Neighbour nor suffer me ever to be wanting according to my capacity to increase the happiness of the Prosperous and the Pious or to relieve the misery of the Afflicted and the Sinner But O my God whilst I pray for a Spirit of Love towards my Neighbour I must not forget to beg and beg earnestly that by the same Spirit thou wouldst shed abroad the Love of thee my God in my Heart O Let me ever remember the great things which thou hast done for me O Let me ever think upon the Patience and Long-suffering which thou hast exercised towards me above all let my Soul ever adore and love and bless thee that thou hast given thine own Son out of thy Bosom to die for me and for all Mankind that whoever believed on him might not perish but have Everlasting Life And O let me ever love and glorifie that Son of thy Bosom who hast loved me and given himself for me and washt me from my sins in his own Blood and O may I ever express this my Love by a frequent Commemoration of it by Devout Addresses to thee my God by a Devout Zeal for thy Glory and the propagation of the Kingdom of my Saviour Amen Amen Fourthly The Exercise of Hope After all these reflections which I have made upon my sinfulness and the Divine goodness upon my guilt and the atonement and satisfaction wrought by the Blood of Jesus I find that as the consideration of the one begets sorrow so doth the consideration of the other beget hope in me and I find the trouble of my Soul clear up into Christian Peace and Comfort My past sins indeed and my present unworthiness fill me with grief and shame and reproach of Conscience but there are other things that lift me up from the Earth that wipe away my Tears and remove the Garments of my mourning and fill my Soul with chearfulness and delightsome expectations such are these when I consider the Divine Nature I am assured that God delights not in the death of a Sinner but delights in exercising Loving-kindness Righteousness and Mercy upon Earth When I consider the death of Jesus I am well assured that it is a full perfect and sufficient Sacrifice Oblation and Satisfaction for my sins and the sins of the whole World when I lastly consider the tenour of the Gospel-Covenant as 't is publisht to the World by the Son of God and his Followers I find contain'd in it pardon of sins to all repenting and believing Sinners without Restriction without Limitation without Exception of any Person or Reservation of any case * Math. 11.28 Come unto me all that travail and are heavy laden and I will refresh you * John 3.16 So God loved the World that he gave his only Begotten Son to the end that all that believe in him should not perish but have Everlasting Life * 1 Tim. 1.15 This is a true saying and worthy of all Men to be received That Christ Jesus came into the World to save Sinners * 1 John 2.1 If any Man sin we have an advocate with the Father Jesus Christ the Righteous and he is the propitiation for our sins And now I lift up my Heart O Lord unto thee I approach near thee and Sacrifice to thee in the joy of hope and thankfulness For tho' I do not presume to come to this thy Table trusting in my own Righteousness yet I do firmly trust in the multitude of thy Mercies I know I am not of my self worthy to gather up the Crumbs under thy Table yet I do with all know that the Son of God has died for Sinners and that thou art the same Lord whose property is ever to have Mercy I do not therefore doubt but I shall be a welcome and acceptable tho' in my self an unworthy Guest to this Table and being assisted by thy Grace shall so eat the Flesh of thy Son Jesus Christ and drink his Blood that my sinful Body shall be made clean by his Body and my Soul washed through his most precious Blood and I shall evermore dwell in him and he in me Amen Amen Aug. 5. 1685. Imprimatur Liber cui Titulus The Duty of Servants c. H. Maurice R mo D no. W mo Arch po Cant. a sacris â—INIS There is lately published by the same Author a Book intituled An Enqutry after Happiness c.
and murmur'd at thy Providence been discontent in my Condition and complain'd of thy Dealings towards me 'T is true O my God that thou of thine infinite goodness hast convinc'd my Conscience of sin affected my Soul with a sorrow for it and wrought in me Resolutions of amendment but oh how many have been my falls how many and grievous have been my Relapses how negligent have I been of the Covenant of my God! Oh how soon have the tears of my Repentance dried up how soon has the flame of my Devotion and Love slackened and even gone out O God thou holy God thou Witness of all my actions and Judge of all my thoughts and affections what would become of me if thou shouldest enter into strict Judgment with me how should I stand before thy Tribunal cover'd with the guilt and shame of so many sins But O thou God of Mercy O thou God and Father of my Lord Jesus Christ I know that thou art always ready to pardon poor Penitents Lord I repent increase thou my Repentance trouble has taken hold of me my Soul is cast down and disquieted within me I am asham'd yea even confounded for I do bear the Reproach of the folly and ingratitude of my sins O be thou reconciled to me pardon me I beseech thee by the Merits and Intercession by the Agony and Passion and by all the painful Sufferings of thy Son pardon me O pardon me I beseech thee by thine own boundless goodness by those tender Mercies and Compassion which thou art wont to exercise towards Repenting sinners And Lord not only pardon my sins but deliver me I beseech thee from the Dominion and Power of 'em O assist me to break off those Chains of carnal Lusts and worldly Cares in which I have been held bound I have a false deceitful heart O give me Sincerity and Truth have a sluggish and drowsie body O enkindle in me fervency of spirit I am conscious to my self of great weakness and fraily O do thou confirm and strengthen me who alone canst make me a clean heart O O God and renew a right spirit within me give me a true Faith and enflame my heart with a holy Love that I may delight my self in thy Commandments that I may walk before thee in uprightness and fear diligently seeking thee constantly depending upon thee chearfully submitting to thy Will and doing the Duty of my place in singleness of heart as knowing that I shall be accountable to thee as well for those Duties which I owe Man as for those which are more immediately to be paid to thee O Lord keep me that my foot stray not out of the path of Justice O Lord keep me that I offend not with my Tongue and after I have done all O Lord suffer me not to fall short of my Reward through my pride or ingratitude but make me always thankful always humble neither defrauding thee of the Praise due to thine infinite Bounty and Mercy nor Man of the Thanks due to him for any act of kindness or charity towards me help me O my God to walk thus that my Soul may enjoy a true Liberty that my Life may be full of comfort my Death of peace and my Eternity of glory through Jesus Christ our Lord. And O my God bless not me only but this whole Family thou that art the God of Love the God of Peace sow in all our hearts the seeds of unfeigned Charity that we may all enjoy the comfort of a mutual Affection and of a mutual Assistance and Aid in our several places and Lord possess every Soul of this Family with a just sense of our Duty towards God and Man that all of us may be living Members of thy blessed Son and being protected by thy Providence directed by thy Word and assisted by the Influence of thy Spirit we may all at last meet in the Family of Heaven where we shall adore and praise thee love and enjoy thee to all Eternity through Jesus Christ our Lord. A Prayer for the Evening O My God my Strength and the Rock of my Salvation the Day is past and the Evening is come O give me grace to remember that this Life will one time be past and Death will come that I may live so that my work may be then finisht as 't is this day and I may have nothing else to do but go to my Rest where I shall be invested with Liberty and Glory Eternal Eternal O blessed Wages of a short Lifes service how does my Soul praise thee O Lord in Transports and even Extasies thou hast called me indeed to be a Servant but thou hast called me too to be a Son thou hast not indeed given me any great portion of the Wealth or Honour of this Life but thou hast given me the blessed Jesus to be my Redeemer and thy holy Spirit to be my Sanctifier O do but ever continue thus to me the Light of thy Countenance thy Grace and thy Truth and I shall never think my self to stand in need of any thing that the World admires but O my God how often are these my Comforts abated nay even interrupted how often is this blessed this chearful Light obscur'd and orecast by my infirmities and sins my sins the only causes that keep good things from me my sins the only real troubles of my Life Thus O my God though I renew'd my Covenant with thee but this morning though I devoted my self to thee vowing Obedience to thee and faithfulness to my Master yet have I prevaricated my Duty here mention the Errours and Infirmities of the day past have mercy upon me O Lord have mercy upon me and forgive me these and all other my offences and give me grace to keep my self upon my watch and guard against them Enable me sincerely to endeavour to repair and reform 'em as much as in me lies that I may every day grow and increase in goodness and be so much the fiter for Death the nearer I do every day approach to it and whenever it comes let it find me O Lord with my Loyns girt and my Lamp burning in a disposition and frame of spirit fit to die possessed with an unshaken Faith with an humble Resignation and Submission of Mind with a holy Contempt of Earth and a devout Love of Heaven In the mean time thou keeper of Israel thou who never slumbrest nor sleepest watch over me and this whole Family protecting and delivering us in our coming in and going out particularly let thine Angels pitch their Tents about us this night let us lie down securely and let our sleep be sweet to us for thou Lord shalt make us dwell in safety Amen Amen Blessed Jesus If any one expects from me Directions here for Mental or Extemporary Prayers I must tell 'em freely that little less than a Volume much bigger than I purpose this is sufficient for such an undertaking What I have to say in a word here
and fear a state of darkness and affliction a state of wrath and death death eternal death and shall I be so fond of this state as to continue in it after thy Son has shed his blood to redeem me from it Shall I despise this Redemption and not hasten to be partaker of his Blood and all the benefits of his death and passion O my God and my Father it was an act of the most tender mercy in thee to offer up thy Son to death for me Ah what Ingratitude must I be guilty of towards thee what cruelty towards my self if I neglect this great salvation if I renounce or at least forget my Saviour and exclude my self from any Interest in his death O blessed Jesus didst thou by thy one painful oblation of thy self upon the Cross make a full perfect sufficient Sacrifice Oblation and Satisfaction for the sins of the whole World and can there be any thing more dear to me than the memory of this thy love more worthy of my remembrance than the redemption of the whole Word Redemption ah blessed word What happiness what Heaven doth it import to be redeem'd by Christ is to be translated out of darkness into a marvelous light out of the Regions and shadows of death into the glory of the Sons of God out of a state of bondage into the most perfect liberty out of a state of wrath into a state of Love and Mercy out of a state of Dread and Terrour into a state of Peace and Joy and Hope or at least into a capacity of all this and doth not all this deserve that I should ever commemorate this thy Redemption of me and of the World with devout joys with humble transports and the most grateful passion Didst thou need O my Blessed Saviour to institute and in thy Holy Gospel command me to continue a perpetual memory of that thy precious death until thy coming again lest I should forget it Ah wretched nature Ah wretched state Can there be any temptations that can betray me into so vile a baseness Can the love of the World a false deceitful World make me forget thee thy Agonies thy Wounds thy Death thy Love Ah my dear Saviour can it be so hard a matter to keep my remembrance and love of thee awake alive that thou shouldst need to command me thus to commemorate thy death in the lively symbols and representations of it and to enforce thy command by putting me in mind of thy coming again Methinks without all this my love for thee should have been so bright and flaming that I should have despised all things as dung and dross in comparison of thee and have desired to have known nothing but Jesus Christ and him crucified methinks I should have lived in the devout contemplation of thy great excellent actions and thy great sufferings till I had been weary of this World and of this body of this poor Beggarly and Imperfect state and have long'd for my Dissolution and Entrance into thy presence this thy love deserv'd from me even though I had been encompassed with the pleasures and crown'd with the honours of this World how inexcusable then must I be who am one of the meanest of the people who have no allurements no temptations in my Fortune if I forget thee and forsake thee Ah! how shall I stand before thee when thou comest again How shall I behold thee in the glory of thy Father and on this tribunal if I should now forget thy sufferings for me forget thy love of me and neglect thy last thy dying commands the highest token of thy passion for me shewing how solicitous thou wast lest I should lose the benefit of thy blood when thou hadst shed it ah with what not shame and blushes but horrour and amazement would my guilty Soul be covered at thy appearance but this shall never be my Crime this shall never be my state never shall my Soul be guilty of such ingratitude to the Tender Mercys of my God or the tender love of my Saviour No my sorrows overflow me my heart is wounded within me that I have forgot thee so long already that I have remembred thee so seldom that I have turn'd my back so often upon that Holy Sacrament wherein thy passion ought to have been commemorated by me O pardon pardon blessed Lord thy unkind thy unfaithful Disciple I come to thee I come to confess thee I come to worship thee in the troubles and desires of a broken Spirit a contrite passion a restor'd Faith and a Revived affection O receive me cover'd with my tears and with my shame but ravish't with thy love too henceforth O my Saviour I will live with thee nothing shall divide thee from me not Business nor Interest not Relations nor Friends not the sluggishness of the body nor distractions of the World not life nor death it self I will live with thee in devout Prayers and Holy Meditations and with an impatient passion I will hast to meet thee in the Holy Sacrament which thou hast appointed as the representation of thy death the pledge of thy love in the symbols oif thy extraordinary presence And O blessed God who of thy tender mercy didst give thy Son to suffer death upon the Cross for my Redemption out of the same tender mercy assist me with thy grace that I may commemorate that his death with that Faith and humble gratitude that I may be made partaker of the Redemption wrought by it help me so to approach these Holy mysteries so to receive these Elements of Bread and Wine that I may be made partaker of the most precious body and blood of my Saviour that so being wash't from my sins by his blood united and incorporated with him by Faith and Love I may be strengthen'd and supported govern'd and protected by him while I am in the body and may meet him at his coming again with unspeakable rejoycing and be acknowledg'd by him as his Faithful Disciple and Follower Amen Amen for the sake of the same my crucifi'd Redeemer and Saviour Christ Jesus A Devout Exercise of Faith Repentance Love and Hope by way of Preparation for the Sacrament FIrst The Exercise of Faith The former Exhortation of our Church to the Receiving of the Sacrament lays down the design of Communion in these few but full words The most comfortable Sacrament of the Body and Blood of Christ is to be receiv'd in remembrance of his meritorious Cross and Passion whereby alone we obtain remission of our sins and are made partakers of the Kingdom of Heaven On which you may thus comment Lord I believe help thou mine unbelief I believe that thou the Son of God didst take upon thee the form of a Servant and wast made in the likeness of Men and being found in fashion as a Man didst humble thy self and becamest obedient unto death even the death of the Cross I believe that by that thy painful Death painful
there may be some little struglings of good nature and interest in opposition to your Duty in this point the first thing then you are to do is to reprove your guilty Fellow-Servant to lay before him as well as you can the hainousness of his sin together with the danger of it both with respect to his Temporal and Eternal Interest acquaint him with the Beauty and Pleasure the security and advantage of Vertue and the Fear of God advise and exhort him earnestly to expiate his sin by Repentance towards God and restitution towards man mix this Reproof ever and anon with Professions of tenderness and affections for him with expressions of your good meaning and sincere intention which he may discern by your accusing him only to himself and lastly with assurances that if he follow your advice he shall not suffer the least prejudice either in his credit or interest by your knowledge of his fault nay that it shall not diminish in the least your respect or Affection towards him For you are not insensible of the wiles of the Devil and the infirmity of man it being commonly incident to humane frailty to fall into sin and 't is the work of a true Faith to repent of it and therefore as your compassion is kindled in you upon the former account so should you necessarily be ingaged to honour and love him upon the latter now if you prove successful in this you gain a Soul to God a good Servant to your Master and an inseparable Friend to your self and what is more than all you gain peace and satisfaction to your Conscience together with the blessing of God the Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the increase of his Holy Spirit Whereas suppose you connive at and he proceed in his sin Ah! How fatal an obligation do you lay upon him You incourage him in his sin and if he never repent you damn his Soul Eternally if he do repent how must he needs condemn you in the bitterness and grief of his Reflections as one false to God and him and no less unfaithful to his Eternal than your Master 's Temporal Interest And what the guilt is that you load your own Conscience with I have shewed you before But if you would do any good this way you must take care that you do it betimes and that you do not let his fault take air before you have thus represented it to him for if you first publish and then reprove his guilt I cannot wonder if he do question either your sincerity or discretion and his doubting of either must needs forfeit in him all respect for your advice or reproof and tempt him rather to stand upon his defence than trust you with his Confession or Repentance If you can effect nothing this way towards the reclaiming your Fellow-Servant you must communicate his offence with some body else as well that you may your self avoid the Imputation of Connivance and Consent as also that you may deliver if possible his Soul from guilt without the ruin of his Credit and Fortune And in the choice of such a Person you are if it may be to find out some one that is considerable with him one whose Vertue and Authority he Reverences and whose Affection and Discretion he can confide in this will make him more apt to be free in his Confession and if he has any modesty any ingenuity left in him he cannot but be wrought by this method into Repentance This very method may be made use of in other cases as well as this as in those injuries you see your Master suffer either by the negligence or wast of your Fellow-Servants only where the matter is little and trifling you are not to communicate it with others for this will look like a formal and solemn impertinence but if he refuse to reform upon your single reproof you are to go directly to your Master or Mistress for a slight wrong repeated daily may grow a very outragious one in time However they are the most proper Judges of what is slight and trifling or otherwise for what may seem to you very inconsiderable may seem otherwise to them who best know their own minds and their own Fortunes The same thing lastly you must do in matters of greater moment when those ways I have prescrib'd you fail you must not provoke God wrong your Master and wound your own Conscience for fear of displeasing nay of ruining your unjust slothful or wastful Fellow-Servant but you must honestly and couragiously do your Duty leaving the issue to God and to the prudencâ— and goodness of your Master and thoâ—… it should end in his ruin or in thâ— forfeiture of your own place or the disturbance of your quiet and peacâ— in it which I can hardly believe if you will pursue this method yeâ— you shall have delivered your own Soul God shall bring forth your Righteousness as the Noon-day whatever calumnies the wit or the malice of your Fellow-Servants raise to obscure it and you shall thrive and prevail in despight of all confederacies against you A second Vice of Servants Of Negligence by which a Master suffers is negligence by which I mean either a total Omission or neglect of Duty or such a careless and lazy performance of it that it were as good left undone as be thus done Or else Lastly heedlesness or want of care Now tho' this be very common you cannot upon due examination of the nature of this fault but confess it a very great one for as to the Master if he be hereby endamag'd is it not the same thing for him to suffer by your negligence as fraud And I need not tell you where there is much trust or confidence on the Master's side and no Industry or Care on the Servant's that all must necessarily go to wrack and ruin Or if he suffer not in his interest he must suffer in the peace and contentment of his mind for there cannot be a greater plague and vexation to any man than a confident and careless Servant Nor is it a small matter that the Master is forced to bear the rudeness and contempt which a Servant's heedlesness and idleness is too plain an expression of 't is a troublesom thing to a man to be levelled with his own Servant yet so he is in this case for if there be no authority in the Master nor fear or care in the Servant if tho' the Master may command the slothful Servant will perform only what he pleases 't is hard to say wherein is the difference and distinction between ' em Is it possible for any Servant to think that this is to do his Duty Can any one think that this is to obey with fear and trembling Can any one think that this sluggishness is any thing better than Eye-Service so much condemned by God Can any one who carries himself thus heedlesly ever persuade himself that he doth service as if he made it to
application of your mind runs upon the World this is a State to be repented of and you must enter upon resolutions of greater care and watchfulness and fervency and having done this you may proceed to the Sacrament without making so long a trial of your selves as in the former case because neither the Church nor your Neighbour can receive any scandal thereby Now beside this part of Examination consisting in an enquiry what sins you have been guilty of or now live in there is a second part of Examination consisting in this enquiry what good you have done what resemblance there is between your life and the life of Jesus your Spirit and the Spirit of Jesus for negative righteousness is not sufficient to make a man a good Christian and though it be true that we are not bound to the highest perfection under pain of damnation yet the love of God the love of Jesus and the hopes of eternal glory do all oblige us to aim at it and therefore we ought to bemoan our non-proficiency barreness and unprofitableness I mean not absolutely such but comparatively with respect to what we should attain to And that you may do this aright demand of your selves what requital have we made our Parents What assistance have we afforded them since God has blessed us What share of what God has prosper'd us with have we given to the poor the hungry and the naked What service have we done for the comfort and support of any that have been any ways distressed After this read with a sober devotion the Beatitudes Mat. 5. and examine the state of your Souls by 'em thus am I poor in Spirit contented in the lowest state resign'd up to God both as to my undderstanding and my will filled with humble thoughts of my own endowments both natural and moral do I mourn under the sense of my past sins and my present defects and infirmities Do I weep in secrets for the sins of my people for the Desolations and Divisions of the Church of Christ for the infidelity of Jew and Gentile and in general for the dishonour God's name suffers in the World Am I of a meek and quiet Spirit peaceable and slow to anger full of humility and reverence towards all but especially my Governours and Masters studying to do my own business and to live quietly in my Station Do I hunger and thirst after righteousnes Is my Soul inflamed with a desire of saying knowledge Do I delight in the meditation of Heavenly truths Am I ravish't with the Loveliness and Beauty of works truly great and truly Christian Am I merciful do I delight to imitate my heavenly Father as far as I am able being bountiful to the needy compassionate to the distressed long suffering towards the offender gentle and easily intreated carefully studying and resolv'dly pursuing the good of all even of mine Enemies and such whose either Ingratitude to me or their aversion to their own good renders the work much more difficult Am I pure in heart Is the World crucified to me Do I account all things but dung and dross in comparison of the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord Do I love my God and love my Jesus even to a thirst after a dissolution that putting off the body I may enjoy 'em in Heaven Do I in the singleness and simplicity of my heart pursue the honour of God without regard to any by-interest or corrupt affection Am I a peace-maker content to purchase it for my self or promote it amongst others by any travail or pains and by very great disadvantages to my self Do I pursue peace in the Church of Christ in the State in the Neighbour hood in the Family in my narrow capacity withal imaginable zeal Lastly Am I willing if the will of God so be to part with all and follow Christ to undergo not only reproach and contempt but if need be the spoil of all I have nay Stripes Imprisonment and Death it self These are the heights you are to labour after and though you may fall very short of 'em this Examination will serve to encrease your humility to make you more importunate for the assistance of God and more desirous of being strengthen'd and refresh't by the Holy Sacrament nay it will excite and quicken your graces in you for there is a loveliness in Virtue and therefore the oftner you seriously behold it the more you 'l be enamour'd of it When you have discover'd by this Examination the state of your Souls then proceed to bewail 'em before God thus These and many more which I cannot recollect are my sins O thou Judge of the World and these have all been repeated from time to time so that they now are grown formidable to me for their very number yet besides this how provoking are the aggravations of them that I should sin thus in defiance of the brightest revelation of thy will in contempt of thy long suffering patience and goodness in contempt of thy astonishing love manifested in my redemption by the blood of Jesus in defiance of thy great and precious promises and of all the calls of thy Spirit and of thy Providence nay O my God I have trampled under foot all my most solemn engagements and returned to the commission of sin in contempt even of my repentance my vows and resolutions and canst thou have mercy upon such a wretch as I am I know I have most justly provok't thy wrath and indignation against me my sins are gone over my head as a thick cloud they are a sore burthen too heavy for me to to bear they are more in number than the hairs of my head and my heart has fail'd me but O Lord God I do earnestly repent and am heartily sorry for these my misdoings the remembrance of 'em is grievous to me the burden of 'em is intolerable I am ashamed yea even confounded under the sense of my folly and ingratitude I have consider'd thy terrour and fearfulness and trembling has taken hold upon me I have consider'd thy tender mercies and my Soul is wounded within me for having so falsly and unworthily forsaken and offended thee I have consider'd the humiliation and the sufferings of my blessed Saviour and my Soul suffers an Agony of love and shame with in me for what I have done against my dear Lord. I have consider'd the Beauty of Holiness and I loath my self for the deformity and pollutions of my sins O therefore thou who dost delight to shew mercy to repenting Sinners thou God of love and mercy have mercy upon me and O thou Lamb of God which didst shed thy blood for sinners have mercy upon me thou that takest away the sins of the World have mercy upon me and O my Heavenly Father deliver me not only from the guilt but from the power of my sin I tremble indeed at thy wrath and my soul faints within me when I think of being excluded forever from tny