little spiritual life and my heart also was carried out after vanities then I found that I had lost the former sweet incombs of the Lord and the refreshings of this blessed spirit and was as one luâ—led a sleep by the deceitful inchantments of Satan and malitious devices O wicked and decâ—iâ—ful â—eaâ—t how couldst thou so soon forget such bondage delivered from such 〈◊〉 aâ— the Devil had so often got thee into how soon hast thou forgot the God of all thy mercies how hast thou made the Lord to serve with thy sins Yet once more was the Lord pleased to call me out of my benumbed conditions and shewed how I was running my self into my own destruction Oh the goodness of the Lord who never dâ—d leave me but to see my oâ—n in aâ—ility to live without his heâ—p then did the Lord in mercy convince me of the emptiâ—ess of all Earthly vanities and also of that way of formal worship that it was a dead carnal lifeless thing under which my soul couâ—d not prosper and so growing weary of it more and more at length besought the Lord to guide my poor iâ—norant Soul which was so easie to be led away with every wicked and â—ubâ—ile device of â—atan my heart desired much to hear goâ—d men and when I could with convenience which some took notice of and said I was one whom the Apostle speaks of having iâ—chiâ—g ears ever lâ—arning c. â—his did muâ—h afflict me about which the Lord was pleased to give me a heart to seeâ— him and that earnestly for his assistance in the knowledge of his truth One more experience of the providence of God appeared unto me as an incouragement to trust in his mercy and to wait upon him by prayer for all things I had at that time a distemper upon me of which I saw no hope of cure yet one day particularly being in a serious meditation of the infinite goodness of the Lord toward me the Lord was pâ—eased to direct my eye upon a place of Scripâ—ure where I found the woman coming to the Lord confessing that she had â—pent aâ—l she hâ—d â—o be cuâ—ed of her Infirmity and one touch of Christs garment had done it from thence may not I come trembling that have received so many testimonies of his love tryed so many medcines before I came unto the Lord or looâ—ed up to him for help then did I bewail my unpâ—ofitableness yet went unto the Lord in the language of the Lepper and said Lord if thâ—u wilt thou canst make me clean who was not deaf to my poor request but in some small time was gratiously pleased as I may say without means wholy to clear me of it this mercy carried up my heart more to praise the Lord then any yet I had received who notwithstanding all my weaknesses and sinfulnesses was gratiously pleased to follow me with many mercys Of further discoveries of Christ Then was the Lord pleased in his gratious Providence to remove me to a place in H. Sh. where I had much more advantage of means and helps for my poor Soul VVHere the Lord was pleased to give me through his grace a little more insight into the mind â—f Christ evidencing himself to be a God graâ—ious and merciful abundant in gâ—odnâ—ss c. I was filled with admiration to see the holy glorious God abase himself to so poor a wretchless Creature as I then was I cryed out with earnest desires and longings after more of the knowledge of this God but here came I under strong temptations Satan was powerful in raising up of spiritual Pride but the Lord whose goodness never failled me did then take care for me thou O Lord who broughtest me out of the Pit of despair O suffer me not to climb up to the Mount of Presumption then was the Lord pleased in the tenderness of his love to convince me that the poor in Spirit were heirs of the Kingdom that the lowly Soul was his habitation then I besought God begging at the Throne of Grace for the assistance of his gratious Spirit without which I could do nothing and that he would humble me even to the dust that so my Soul might not loose the sight of that Glory revealed in the face of Jesus Christ This the Lord was gratiously pleased to grant and sweetly bring me to see a riches in Christ Jesus and that this was more to be desired then all the treasures upon Earth The longings of her Soul after Church Fellowship and all the Ordinances of Christ THen did I long after God and the injoyment of him in his own way and said Lord thou hast made me O lead me in that way wherein I may bring most glory to thy self I durst â—ot trust my own judgement but resign'd my self unto his will and continued my petitions at tâ—e â—hrone of Grace and at length he was pleased gâ—atiâ—usâ— to answer my poor prayer â—lessâ—d be â—hy name O Lord O let my Soul be inlarged in thy pâ—aâ—ses One day the Lord was pleased by a strange providence to cast me into the company of one that I never saw before but of a sweet and free disposition and whose discourse savour'd so much of the Gospel that I could not but at that instant bless God for his goodness in that providence it pleased the Lord to carry out our hearts much towards one another at that time and a little while after the Lord was pleased to bring us together again for the space of three dayes in which time it pleased God by our much converse together to establish and confirm me more in the desires I had to jâ—yn with the people of God in socâ—ety and enjoy Communion with them according to the order of the Gospel she was of a society of the Congregational way called Iudependants and gave me so clear a demonstration of their wayes that upon considerations and searching of the Scripture for the understanding of which learnestly besought the Lord I was cleerly convinc't in my judgment that this was the way which came nearest to the ruâ—e of the Gospel and the commands of Christ then were our hearts firmâ—y united and â— blessed the Lord from my soul for so glorious and vâ—sible an appearance of his love for I had many sweet refreshments given me at that time when she was gone I was sensible of the great mercy the Lord had been pleased to show me but in an instance snatcht it from me again at which I began to be troubled but aâ—ter a few reflections to this purpose why do I not patiently submit to the will of my Father who knows what is best for me my soul was again filled with hungrings and thirstings after God for a more clear and full inâ—oyment of him and that in that bâ—essed ordinance appointed for a seal to coâ—fiâ—m the Covenant he hatâ— gratiously made through hiâ— dear Son with aâ—l believers this was at a time when the Lord was pleased as to
outward appearance to frown upon his peopâ—e it seemed an hour of darkness to me my heart was troubled then was I earnest with the Lord further to â—irect me in the way that he shâ—uld choose and the Lord was pleased to shine in with some Gospel light and cause me to see a vast disproportion between a superstiâ—iouâ— way of worshipping of God and a spiâ—itual sincere way in wâ—ich spiritual Christians serve him then I said O that God would please to bring me into the Fellowship and Communion of his own peopâ—e and if he hath appointed them to suffer Oh that I might be one that he would count worthy to suffer for the name of Christ Oh how dâ—th my Soul desire to bear part in the affliction of Sion much rather then to injoy the mirth and pleasure of an earthâ—y Kingdom then did I cast my self upon the Lord and offer up my Soul to him who knows how to frame it according to his own blessed will then I said Lord hast not thou the â—earts of all creatures in thy hand and hast power to turn them into what frame soever thou pleasest bring mine into a conformity to thy blessed will O do it Lord for thy mercies sake then I made known my desires unto my friend by letter to joyn in society with that congregation whereof my friend was a member For about that time the Minister of the Parish intending to give the Sacrament preached a preparatory Sermon from 1 Cor. 11. 27 28 29. v. Shewing the sweet nature of that blessed ordinance the danger of unworthy râ—ceiveâ—s and how a Christian ought to be qualified before partaking thereof at the hearing of which I was awakened and the Lord was pleased to come in with sweet comfort and refreshments considering thâ— blessed provisiâ—n God had gratiously made for those that prepared to meeâ— him therein but I was troubled when I considered that very few or none of his Communicants were so quallified to appearance which was my great burden for I longed much to pertake of that ordinance but dared not to do it in that manner and with such persons None could I use freedom with in this matter but those who I feared would make my trouble greater but thou O God who art ever ready to help in time of neeed thou the wise counsellor wilt not be far from the Soul that truly seeks thee then I called upon the Lord who was gratiously pleased to grant an ear to my request and through the help of my friend to bâ—ing to remembrance 1 Cor. 10 16. 17. v. by which I was much establishâ—d but more when I saw the number of his Communicants whom he had examined and accepâ—ed such as was very bâ—ind igâ—orant formaâ— creatures then I came to a resolution through the bâ—essing of God to wait with patience till he should see good to open away wherein I mâ—ght injoy such ordinances in power and purity and so as I might expect Gods presence and blessing which at last he was gratiouslâ— pleased to do making that my friend an inâ—trument thereof Oh let my heart be more carried out to God with praises and put a new Song into my mouth make it my work to glory that thy great name since thou art thus pleased to own me in thy dear Son Of Recording her Experiences O My Soul thou hast found by sweet experiences how good a thing it is to wait upon the Lord let not the gratious tast of his love slip out of thy remembrance but whilst he hath given thee life improve these mercies and the talent he hath lent thee to his own glory and let the gratious workings of the Lord as he is pleased to honour thee with incomes of his love and the sweet breathings of his holy spirit recount them here in order as the Lord shall give thee leave that they may be upon record against an evil day a day of temptation for how many pretious evidences hast thou lost for want of remembring them but now O Lord help me to deal faithfully with my Soul in declaring thy power and the riches of thy Grace in the daily remembring of thy merciâ—s O cause me to see the growth of my Soul in Grace and in the knowledge of my gratious God that my â—oul may only aim at the Glory of my redâ—â—mer The Lord was thus pleased to carry on his gratious work with much pâ—wer in my poor Soul notwithstanding â—he Devils suggestions many â—earâ— c. As that my condition surely was not yet so good as I did hope it to be and to doubt whether my joy was not meer presumption but the Lord in his goodness was pleased in a little time to clear it more fully to me and cause me to seâ— by the workings of his holy Spiâ—it sweet evidences of his tender love and bâ—ought into my meditation many blessed premises which he was pleased to bless unto my Soâ—l aâ—d confirm unto me with much establishment The Lord being thus pleased by his wise Councel and his tender love thus to guide my unworthy Soul at length bâ— hiâ— gratious providence brought we to the place where the Church met though they were strangers to me yet was he pleased to cause me to find much love and tenderness and there I had that blessed opportunity to receive that sweet refreshing Ordinance which my Soul had so much longed after Blessed be his Holy name O thou my Soul since thou hast seen the gratious deâ—lings of the Lord towards thee be not thou unmindful of his praise Improve thy talent to thy Masters use lay out thy strength for God and let thy heart be carried out for ever to remember the tender and unspeakâ—ble love of thy dear Lord unless thou put thy hand to heâ—p my strength is nothing I am a poâ—r weak nothiâ—g not able to do any thing if thou shouldest once leave me never so little The Choice Discoveries of Christ to her Soul when joyned to a Church in the Lords Supper OH how was the Lord in mercy pleased to manifest his Glory and goodness to thee O my Son in this Ordinance in which he was gratiously pleased by faith to draw thee up to recive those outward elements the bread and wine as presenting the immediate body and blood of the Lord Jesus broken and shed for thy sins O thoâ— unworthy Soul how gratiously was the Lord pleased to come with power raising thee up to praise and admire the exceeding riches of his Grace in choosing thee to be partaker of so great a blessing how was he pleased to fill thee with spiritual joy at thy returning home and give thee leave to come into his presence to return him thanks with joy that he was pleased so gratiously to manifest himself unto thee poor unworthy Soul as a God hearing prayer and answering thy poor request with so much mercy which the Lord inable thee for ever to remember to his Glory thou knowest I desired to do so
heart and â—ryeth the reins Great mistakes through a deceitful heart thou maist entertain and apply to thy self that comfort which of right belongs not to thee a deceitful heart saith oft times Peace where no true peace is therefore O how pretious is that peace of God that passeth understanding that only can make the Soul happy that blessed peace which the Lord Jesus breathed upon his poor disciples and left them as a glorious legacy of pretious Love O my soul It must be Christ in thee the hope of Glory must be the author of thy comfort and eternal happiness therefore sayes the Apostle by this truth try the truth of your condition examine your selves whether ye be in the faith 2 Cor. 13. 5. Prove your own selves know ye not your own selves that Christ be not in you except you are reprobates a sad and dismal condition to be rested in and since it is so needful a thing to be found in Christ O my Soul how requisite would it be and how much would it add unto thy present and eternal comfort to be fully assured in this point of so great importance but what should a poor weak creature do Lord I will cast my self at thy footstool O do thou prove me and try me and suffer me not to rest under a deceitful heart make clear this in the way of prayer meditation c. and to my Soul that by the spirit speaking peace my soul may be sealed up with everlasting comfort by which to glorifie the riches of thy free Grace for ever Meditations of being in Christ TO be in Christ is to be a new Creature quickned inlivened delivered from the power of sin and Satan and the deadness of our sinful natures to serve the living Lord the spirit is given unto those whom he hath called by Grace and taken into Covenant with himself for he that hath not the spirit of Christ is none of his and this spirit is holy humble gratious teaching the soul to know the voice of him that gives it My sheep her my voice the Lord knows them also for he hath given them of his own spirit and so made them to be partakers with him of the Divine nature by which grace the soul comes to be a follower of Jesus Christ denying ungodliness and sinful lusts All these things which are in opposition to so glorious a change and to be more in confâ—â—mity unto our Lord and Saviour who hath gâ—ven of his spirit unto poor souls that they might be so nâ—w the fruits of the spirit is love joy peace long sâ—ffâ—ring genâ—â—â—â—â—ss goodness faith weakness temperaâ—ce fuâ—filled all in that blessed pattern the Lord Jesus who out of Love to the poor Soul made himself an example that thou thereby mightest learn of him instructions Now the righteous Lord loves righteousness and is gratiously pleased to place a delight in that soul that desires to walk humbly before him having access unto the father by the same spirit of Christ living in the soul by faith through him to find acceptance at the throne of Grace and favour in the sight of the great and holy God now my soul be earnest in the search this great thing ask the assistance of thy great JEHOVAH thy tender loving father who only can give grace and promiseth gratiously that he will supply the wants of them that truly seek him and shall spread their case before him through so rich a mediator the Mediator of that new and everlasting Covenant of grace and mercy who hath said for the comfort of his poor Wormâ— here whatsoever ye shall ask the father in my name believing it shall be done unto you O is the Lord so gratious and hast thou so great refuge to run to why standest thou here gazing Meditations of being the Servant of Christ OH how rich a priviledge is it to be a Servant of the Lord Jesus Christ hath not my Lord been pleased to give me a heart truly to beg this yea from my soul to beg that he would cast his yoak upon my neck that he would accept of me poor worm to be his servant O how much more did my soul long to be made a door keeper in the house of my God then to injoy the greaâ—est glories of the world O how hath my soul longed yea thirsted after the living Lord that he would please to make me one whom he would honour with the beholding of â—is glory not desiring greater priviledge O but my Soul now see and above all admire the gratious condescention or thy glorious God who hath not only answered the poor request which he did through grace inable thee to breath out before him but hath abundantly inlarged his bounty and filled thee with joy he hath filled the hungry Soul with good things with the best things and given thee not only a sight of his Glory but O the abounding Love the unspeakable goodness of thy gratious God an interest in that glory so that thou canst through grace now say thou art my God thou art my Lord so great a priviledge to me thou knowest dear Lord my soul desires to resine it self to thee make it such as thou wouldst have it Lord I am thine do by me whaâ—soever seemeth good in thy sight this afternoon the Lord was pleased to bring open home unto my soul the glorious nature of prayer through the Ministry of our dear Pastors from the 12 of Rom. to the 12 v. that this prayer is It is a Saints recreation A glorious exercise in which the Soul hath access to go through a Mediaâ—or whereby a Saint may improve his interest daily at the throne of grace and make humble confession of our manifold transgressionâ— to ask things needful for us these remain on our part but to return humble and hearty thanksgivings to the Lord for all our mercies herein is the Lord glorified and O what a comfort through Grace is it when we can give thanks when we can come and return hearty and humbâ—e thanks at the throne for all the good we have and do daily receive from the bountiful hands of our great JEHOVAH Lord be thou pleased to engrave this upon the heart of thy poor servant Meditations on the 11th of Luke 19. Of a new heart And I will give them one heart and I will put a new spirit within you and I will take tâ—e stony heart out of the flesh and will give them a heart of flesh WHo is the giver of this new heart even the Lord of Glory what is this new heart it is a pure single upright sincere heart why doth the Lord in the conversion of a Soul give him a new heart because it is the heart that he requires in duties the sincerity of the soul to walk before him in Love this cannot an old base carnal heart do until it be renewed an humble soul goes with a regenerated Soul the Lord will give more grace unto the humble but pride the
Lord resisteth Oh give thy poor unworthy one more grace and keep my soul humble under the sence and feeling of thy gratious Love so shall I Lord still praise thee and whilst I live extol the riches of thy grace O to injoy this sweet communion with thy glorious self Dear Lord this is more delightful and more pretious to me then to injoy the greatest treasures upon eâ—rth how pretious is the Lord unto my soul These are the excellencies and the glorious priviledge of a regenerate soul a new creature whose heart is changed through the gratious opperation of the holy spirit the whole nature is changed the glorious Image of the Lord Jesus is râ—newed on it it is made an heir of Heaven a tempâ—e of the Holy Ghost a member of Christ Of thirsting after assurance of Heaven BLessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled they shall be made to drink deep of the wells of Salvation they shall be filled in the mansions of eternal glory when others shall be deprived of the least crum of comfort t is he that seeks shall find and he that knocks shall have the door opened unto him seek ye first the kingdom of Heaven and the righteousness thereof and all these things shall be added unto you things of this life are but additional acts of his bounty The great and prime part of a Christians work is to make sure of Heaven and his eâ—ernall happyness hereafter O great is that goodness of the Lord how abundant his compassion his love to poor sinful man who would not have them set their hearts on such poor low things as only this world affords but a Kingdom of glory yea an everlasting Kingdom that shall never fade a kingdom in which dwelleth righteousness the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus no less then these things would the Lord have his poor people covet after the rest are but things less material and shall be given over and above these things shall be added to you O wonderful goodness Such great and glorious priviledges such promises such additional comforts Oh what is man that thou shouldest be so mindful of him or the son of man that thou shouldest thus delight to do him good Oh my soul this is the Lords doings it is the great JEHOVAH is thus pleased to stoop and condescend on terms of mercy to take poor sinful souls into his favour I and he willeth nothing less to them then an eternal weight of Glory and is not this worth seeking after O sure it is to that soul who hath had a tast of what it is su e heavenly treasures far exceed all earthly vanities then surely in proportion to the goodness of them should the desire of the â—oul be let out after them Therefore O let thy affections be set on heavenly things since it is the goodness of the Lord to thee that thou mightest â—ast that he is gratious that thou shouldest by sweet experiences find him to be faithful in whatsoever he hath promised for good unto thy soul thy poor immortal soul which without his grace had perished to all eternity O 't is for good to thee the Lord hath thus commanded thee to seek that everlasting Kingdom O t is thy soul will be the gainer and thou through grace shall one day find it so O remember my Soul thy Covenant with God in the day of thy espousal then when it was the time of love when he was pleased to put thee in the clefts of the rock Christ Jesus and then to cause his gâ—ory to pâ—sâ— before thee to make with thee an everlasting Covenant setled and sure thâ—t in the unchangeableness of his Grace shall stand for ever wer 't thou but all wayes in the contemplations of these heavenly joyes thy heart could find no time to place it self on such mean things as this poor world affords to be rich in Grace and to be heirs of Glory O how much better is it then to be incumbred with the things below to have Communion with God and to joy in the presence of thy King is far better then to be in favour with the greatest Princes upon Earth oh let my soul dear father live daily in the rich experience of this blessed truth more and more whilst my abode is here oh let me find the daily quickning of thy gratious spirit to injoy thy presence is to live in Heaven whilst here oh tâ—s thy self that makes the passage sweet to Glory oh t is the cords of thy Love that makes the soul to run with hungrings and breathings after thee that makes it love thy precepts more then its dayly food thus thou hast made me through thy grace experimentally to tast O then hide not thy face dear Lord from my soul The Loves wherewith thou hast delighted my soul goes beyond all earthly glories oh in the sence of this let my soul walk before my God in its integrity yea for this will I go unto my God and Father for daily supplies since he it is that giveth liberally Meditations of Death IS death a terror to a gâ—atious Soul what is there in it can affright thee when as the sting is gone let it put on its worse ill shapen dress it can it shall produce no harm unto thee Death shall but â—elease thee from a wretched world of misery and prefer thee to a glorious Crown of blessedness the one will make thee everlasting miserable the other eternally happy in the fruition of the fathers Love in the full free and perfect injoyment of his glorious presence unto all eternity oh then how happy how blessed a thing it is to be dissolved and be with Christ where sin shâ—ll no more haunt thee here poor soul thou canst not chuse but see thy self daily involved with sin followed with corruptions one of the worst of sinners and in that thy shame should pull thee down into the dust and make thee daily mourn in the abhorrency of thy vile self since 't is a God of so much Love that thou dost daily sin against oh wretched Soul maist thou cry out who shall deliver thee from this body of death Yet O my soul take comfort in a dying Lord and glory in the strength of him who is the God of thy salvation O let his strength be magnified in thy weakness and the riches of his grace appear more glorious in the saving of such a one thou well maist say thou art the worst of sinners and yet through grace thou canst say thou dost abhor sin dost thou delight in it no t is thy burthen and since t is so take comfort In the remembrance of him who sweetly sayes come unto me he hath taken out the sting and is become thine advocate yea and will plead thy cause through his own merit and everlasting Righteousness in which through free grace and infinit mercy he will present thee spotless before the throne of that Heavenly Grace
therefore know thy duty in it but rejoice in as much as ye are partakers of Christs sufferings that when his glory shall be revealed ye mâ—â— be glad also with exceeding joy And in another place if you suffer with him you shall also Reign with him and let none of you suffeâ— aâ— an evill doer at a Mâ—â—derer thiefe or as a busie body in other mens matters yet if any man suffer as a Christian cleaâ—ly on that account let him not be a shamed â—ut let him glorifie God on this behalf for the time is coming that judgâ—ment must begin at the house of God and if it first begin at us what shall the end bâ— of them thaâ— obey not the Gospell of God and if the righteous scaâ—cely be saved where shall the ungodly and siners apear Wherefore let them â—hat suffer accordiâ—g to the will of God commit the keeping of their Souls to him in well doing as unâ—o a faithful Creator through grace I desire to pitch my Soul â—n everlasting faithfullnâ—ss by which I trust I shall be kept in even walking in his own paths be they never so rugged yet if I meet my Lord I shall do well his gratious presence makes every condition sweet and though this poor piâ—gramage represents nothing but thorns aâ—d bryers it will be recompensed with an eternity of glory A place where no sorrow shall be known but fulness of joy add pleasure and the compâ—eat injoyment of thy Lord for ever therefore O Lord into thy gratious care I do commit my self my Soul and spirit Lord fit me for thy will and let me only fear thy righteous judgements and be sound trembling at thy word so shall I be kept faithfull unto the end Sparks of Divine Love Love is a heavenly fire fetcht from above Irradiant beams shot from the God of Love Unâ—er those blessed shines my Soul abide Let all thy paces there be multiply'd In firength and beauty there to rest secure Through Love divine which ever shall indure Hast thou dear Lord such great things done for me And shall I not give up my heart to thee â—oo poor a thing yet Lord since 't is my All O take it Lord though it be poor and small O take it Lord by purchase it is thine Let me not any longer call it mine Nor set it on poor fond things here below Which vainly are but actors of a show Or feigâ—'d objects painted ore delights Appear a little and pass from our sights Vain shadows of a poor short Sunny day While â—e peruse them quickly fly away A praising Soul Lord shall a heaven born Soul forget to sing Eternal praises to her Lord and King Shall she be one that seemeth not to know The hand from which her mercies still do flow O quicken Lord thy servant O that she May have her life all praises unto thee O t is a life of praises thou wouldst have Thy poor redeemed ones return to thee Give Lord what thou art pleased from them to crave Of thy own store what thou acceptest must be Then my dear Lord I shall not cease to sing The Song of Canaan unto Israels King Though in a Land so far and strange I be As destitute of what I would injoy Let me by faith my Native Country see And not forsake my treasure for a toy O blessed be thy name which still doth keep My droâ—sie soul which else would ever sleep And loose its glorious comforts sweet delights Which in the presence of its Lord is found Those Heavenly Glories and transcendant sights In which to empty souls Grace doth aboundi O glorious Grace let my soul still admire And warm it self at this blest Heavenly fire O shall I grieve that glorious spirit which Is pleased to bow and condescend so low Thus to a poor unworthy sinful wretch How is it Lord that I thy Grace should know And that thou shouldest be pleased to look on me So as redeem me from such misery A hymne of free grace What shall I do my soul shall I then speak Or shall I let my heart through silence break Should I be dumb then sure stones would cry Me shame and magnifie the Lord on high Who doth his riches wonderful bestow On such pâ—oâ— wormâ— as crawleth here below But now to praise him would I fain begin Who is my God my Lord and eke my King Who in his goodness hath done more for me Then can with admiration spoken be O though I would I want both power and art For to express what lâ—es within my heart But since it is the heart Lord thou wouldest have Acceptance is the thing I only crave Receive it Lord O that I could aspire Into thy aâ—ms which is my Souls desire On wings of faith and Soaring acts of Love Oh in the Clefts behold me as thy Dove My sweetest Lord help me to sing thy praâ—se And tell the world the wonders of thy grace Shall I be dumb and live henceforth as one To whom such favor never had been shown Then were I sure unworthy ere to live But Lord what 's wanting thou canst quickâ—y give Both tongue and heart that daily I may bring Of sweetest Odour my poor offering Let my soul bless the Lord with all delight Of thy glory have a daily sight Goodness and mercy that do so excel O in its fillings my Soul still dwell The ocean of his love so sweet and pure Which shall to all eternity indure What greater good unto my soul can bring Then singing praises to my Lord and King Lord take and keep me there why shall we part T is thy own hand must hold my feeble heart A short dialogue between flesh and spirit Flesh Fond foul what â—ileth thee thus low to deem Our pleasure and our comforts here below And that thou dost so highly them estâ—em As if thou didst not care such things to know Is it not better mirth for to injoy Which maketh fat the bones and glads the heart Then in thy musings thus thy self annoy At last perswaded he with them to part Spirit Fond fleshly part this all thou hast to say Cease now with all spetious flattering speech And never think by all thy pleas to sway A soul that now is got above thy reach All thy suggestions I cannot approve Seeing in earth thy comforts all do lye But I much live in flames of heavenly love With heavenly comforts which will never dye What are your pleasures that you count so great But very froths and bubbles in the wind What can they do for you at mercies seat Or can you true contentment in them find Indeed your fleshly eâ—es cannot behold These Jewels of most rich and glorious worth That pearl of price that City of pure Gold And therefore think to set yeur pleasures forth Poor Soul alass why dost thou cavil so My comforts come from a far greater spring Then are the puffs of mirth which you would know Whilst I desire the love of Christ my
that she fell asleep in Jesus even before we were aware of it and indeed she could hardly bear the absence from her dear Lord any longer as in her last Poem you will perceive Surely by such a despised Testimony the sleepy World is condemned and every Soul tâ—at peruseth it should be provoked to take the Kingdom of Heaven by the same violence And Professors of Godliness may hereby be convinced of slightness of Spirit sinful neglects formality in duty and ordinances Love of the World decays in Grace taking up with priviledges of Saints when intimate Communion with the Lord and growth of grace is not so seriously attended to by them against which this Treatise is also a living Testimony and may be blessed of God to the quickning of them Let all such specially but remark that veâ—n and Spirit runs through their short discourses which was to prepare and keep her Soul to God to be duly calling in her own heart much in deepest humbling and â—elâ— reflexion Praying Reading Meditation being her Morning and Evening exercise highly esteeming every opportunity of enjoying the Lord accounting the feet of those beautifull that brought the good tidings having a high reverence and affection for the servants of Christ in that work and an intire love to all Saints as Saints though of different perswasions at this day in the weakness Tenderness Patience Love of the Spirit especially let me bespeak the Congregation of Christ whereof she was a Member in this City as also all the Churches of Saints to be following this Holy and pretious example and practice which seemâ—th to be ordered by a hand oâ— prâ—vidence and grace to awaken professors from the evils mentioned which I fear have overtaken many instead of their soul being kept in life and warmth and attending to spirituallity and growth in grace and being full of love and good works under the loud calls they have thereunto by the word and providences of God they are under that they may witness a good profession as they are called thereunto in the midst of a gainsaying generation Reader in a word thou maist here learn what it is to live and dye comfortably which is the great concernment before thee which the Lord in his rich grace give unto thee and bless the reading hereof for the ends for which it is published as prayeth Thy Servant for Jesus sake A. P. In the Year 1670. The Account of her early conversation O my Soul considâ—r the wonderful goodness of God revealing his free Grace and unbounded Love towards thee a poor Worm oh how wonderful is this condescention of his that thou shouldest be made an object of mercy my soul forget not his unspeakable love let it be recorded keep in remembrance thâ—se choice blessings of a loving Father bestowed so freely on me in the Lord Jesus Christ the dear Son of his Love who hath born with thee in many weaknesses iâ—firmities and ever seem'd to ovâ—rlook all corruâ—tions and set thee undeâ— his eye of pitty and compassion O let this be a means mâ—re to incite to a near closer walking with God that thou maist be born up against the wâ—les of Sâ—tan thy subtle enemy whose aim iâ— to destroy thee for ever IN the 11 Year of my Age the Lord was pleased to take away my dear Mother my Parents were very dear and tender of me and did not leave me without instructions of the things of God At that time the Lord was pleased to carry out my heart to things I then knew not For as soon as my Parents had taught me there was a God I had an awe upon my heart concerning him I could then reason with my heart and said the Lord made me and he made me to serve him and I must do it so being young the Lord was pleased in the freeness of his Grace to kindle in my heart some small sparks of affections to himself I remember on a time a little Brother of mine was sick and my Mother being very tender of her Child one Lords day would not go to Church which caused me also to stay at home but wanting employment out of my Mothers sight went to work about my babies at night the Lord was pleased to take a way the Child I standing by the Cradle which brought a fear upon me presently that I had been the cause by my working that day of the Lords anger in taking away my brother I also remember that I went out and wept bitterly in the consideration of my days work but never let my friends know it I was much troubled at it but hoped such was the ignorance of my heart that all would be well again by my praying and going to Church which I was careful to do and fearful to omâ—â— one duty which might hinder the means of my salvation and cause the Lord to be displeased with me The Ten Commandments was much upon my heart making that my only rule to walk by and was earnest with the Lord that he would help me to the daily observing and fulfilling of them for then knew there must be a greater power then my own to inable me to the performance of it also my Parents taught me in my Carechism what was my duty towards God and towards my Neighbour by my continual saying of them the Lord was pleased to work them upon my spirit and into my affections and then in mercy to take notice of me in the freeness of his Grace and tender mercy to own me in the Lord Jesus Christ whom I was ignorant of aâ— to what he had done and undergone for my soul but now I can't but admire to behold the infinite goodness and tender love of God who was then pleased to chuse me from amongst my Brethren and his own self took care of me leading me by many paths of providence passing over all my Corruptions my weaknesses and my failings caused me to find a tender hearted Father of a great and Holy God oh how sweetly hath the Lord been pleased to carry on the work of Grace in my poor unworthy Soul How exceedingly doth his Glory shine and his goodness appear in that he whâ— iâ— the high and mighty One the Great God of Heaven and Earth the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords should condescend so far as to cast his eye upon a Worm much more His love upon a distressed creature About the same year of my Age the Lord was pleased to take away my dear Mother by which I had a great loss yet knowing it was my duty to trust God at all times I laboured therefore to be content and the Lord was pleased to bear me up by considerations of his love I was in the time of my Mothers life sickly and weak subject to divers bodily infirmiâ—ies which made my Mother the more tender of me hence I was more sensible of my great loss but such was thâ— goodness of God that he was pleased then wholy to take
only know but sollace my self in the fountain of this Eternal comfort did it not please the father out of infinite love and pitty to poor lost and undone wretcâ—es to find out a way for their Redemption not by the blood of Bulls and Goats whereby a yearly atonement was Typically made for the appeasing of his Wrath no but a full and satisfactory Redemption by the pretious blood of Jesus Christ as of a Lamb without blemish now what was this Lamb but a divine brance of Glory equal with the Father the dear son of his Love for whom it was his gratious pleasure to provide a body for a sacrifice that thereby poor man who had lost himself by disobedience in a sinful body of death might in the obedience of Jesus Christ in his body and blood and through his merrits find everlasting life such was the love and pitty of the great and holy God there being no other way for our restoration but to part with the dearly beloved of his soul and to bring him under his severest anger â—â— he paid to Justice the ulmost farthing and such was the gratious pleasure of our dear Redeemer who was content it shou'd be so Loâ—◠〈◊〉 to â—â— thy will O God O matchless goodnâ—ss methinks I sâ—e thâ— heart and affection of my dear Redeemer in this work putting the father in mind of his determinate will sacrifice and burnt offerings thou wouldest noâ— but a body hast thou prepared or fitted me then said I loe I come In the volumn of this look is is written of me to do thy will O God in sacrifices and burnt offerings for sin thou hadst no pleasure but Lord thou hast spoken of me and fitted me for the full and compleat satisfaction to â—hy Justice and here I am loe I come to do thy will O my God I am ready to give my self a ransome for the good of poor Souls Poor Soul see what matter here is then of comfort in the application of this great transcendent love unto thy self it was not thy desents but his great mercy made him own thee O this constraining love let it work more upon thy heart to draw thy will to his he came to do and was obedient to his fathers will for thee and wilt thou not be subject unto him that hath done so much for thee Now the work for which Jesus Christ came into the world was to save sinners such as by faith lay hold upon him for Eternal life God was pleased to make man in his first Creation in a perfect state of Innocency gave him power in his own hands either to stand or fall but poor man that would be wise yea wiser then God himself soon lost hiâ— happiness for one poor temptation So having broken the Law lies liable to the curse of it to all eternity it being my possible that a finite creature should ever be able to make restitution to an infinite God by keeping that Law that Righteous law that pure law which in one very thought is broken the Lord therefore seeing the sad condition of poor fallen man being under the curse of the Law and wholly unable to make the least satisfaction to Divine Justice was infinitely pleased in Grace and Meâ—cy to look with pitty on them and to find out this way the only way for their deliverance so he was pleased to lay help upon one that was mighty and infinitely able to save unto the utmost those that come unto him Christ then by his sufferings and obedience hath finished the work his Father gave him to do hâ— hath paid the uttermost farthing his Fathers Justice can demand he hath answered the Law in taking upon himself the curse of the law so that he was made not only sin for us but the curse also but Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the Law in being made a curse for us Gal. 3. 13. v. Thus hath the Lord Jesus Christ regained Eternal Life which man had lost and to him hath the Father given this eternal life Even unto the Son whom he hath made heir of all things and it is by having a propriety in Christ this life is to be had 't is he that hath the son hath life this life eternal and he that hath not the son hath not life 1 Joh. 5. 12. v. Of the excellency of the knowledge of the mistery of Christ O What wonderful sweetness is there in this knowledge what Divine excellency is in it what does this import to me unless I know him to be mine this is the knowledge of him which brings eternal life when I can through grace have the witness of this in my Soul and that the father hath been pleased in his infinite grace to give me unto Christ as one for whom he hath shed his blood and taken into Covenant with himself Poor Soul whaâ— a mercy is it to come to the knowledge of what the Lord Jesus is and what he hath done for poor sinful Man this little comforteth till thou knowest what he hath done for thee it is the particular application of it to thy self that makes thee happy since thou art one whom he is pleased in infinite grace and mercy to make choice of and thus to set his Soul upon thee Thou mightest have heard of Christ yet have perished to all eternity it would have been smal comfort for thee when in a storm ready to be beaten in pieces with the waves though thou didst see a ship afar off saiâ—ing from thee what good would the â—ight of that do thee but it is those whom the Lord is pleased to take shut into the Ark Christ Jesus that are secure that are preserved from the storms tempests even unto eternal life O live still in his favour by paying thy vows to thy dear Redeemer grieve not the holy spirit of his Grace by which he hath thee unto the day of Redemption O consider him not only given of the Lord as Priest but also as King Prophet the Lord give thee a heart to own him in his Kingly Office and help thee by meditation to apply thy Soul in faith unto his soveraign power and hath the Lord redeemed thee poor Soul look up and see thy happiness thy debt is paid and thou art set at liberty God injoyed in mercies HOw sweet and comfortable is it to sit at mercies Gate and be fed by the bountiful hand of Graces Charity those who are full of imployments bless themselves in abundant of what they possess forgetting the God of mercies from whence they slow but those who receive their mercies daily from the Lord they are truly sweet to that Soul that sees how its whole life depends on mercy and every thing it hath or can in joy comes all from mercy this is sweet to it and the soul thus sensible of mercy will be serious in praises Then Lord if mercies be so sweet let me beg mercies still Oh let the Channels of
thy Love run free my Soul to fill Oh leâ— the bounty of thy Love each day my Soul secure And let dear Lord thy mercies sweet to me poor worm indure So shall I tast with much delight thy blessings which are sure In them O Lord would I rejoyce as coming from the hand Of my dear Lord and Soveraign who doth all things command Let not the fulness fill my heart with pleasure and delight And take away my serious thoughts from praising thee aright O rather let me be in want then filled with loathsome Pride That will the Soul securely blind and sweetned mercies hide O let it be thy mercies still that I through grace may sing A song of praise to my Lord from whence all mercies spring Of self insufficiency HOw apt is the foolish heart of man to be puffed up with strong conceits of its own abilities and think it self something when indeed it is nothing O a monstrous piece of deceit therefore the Lord in his infinite wisdom suffers Souls to wander a little and so discovers the hearts deceitfulness that so poor creatures might go more out of themselves and see their own in abilities to any good and that they have nothing to depend on but the sure mercies of Iesus Christ have I not said with David surely I shall never be mâ—ved these sweet experiences of mercy and constraining love hath so ingaged my Soul to walk uprightly before God but I see there is no strength in me nor am I able to do any thing without fresh supplies of strengthning grace from thee therefore dear father be not far from helping thy poor worm that cries for succour from thee shall I ever give the reigns of my heart to run after the foolish pleasures of the world No not in the least there is a snare and Satan lurking to deceive therefore O Soul be watchful and dispise them all as things unworthy of thy love why they are vain and foolish but increase thou still after that greater good that Souls enamouring sweetness consisting in eternal pleasuâ—es in the most glorious Mansions of heaven where are celestial treasures and transcendant comforts Lord keep my heart from fooiish vanity And let my Soul feed ever upon thee O let my joys and comforts once again Quicken my Soul and there through grace remain O let the glory of thy grace appear To joy my Soul and to suppress my fear In sight of pretious Christ my Saviour dear Then shall I never have more cause of fear Yet t is too great a priviledge for me I have deserved naught but shame from thee Shouldest thou be just â—o mark what is amisâ— There 's nothing Lord of good dwells in my flesh T is at thy gratious footstool I woud lye To plead for mercy without which I dye Of Worldly Honour HOw poor a thing is worldly honour yet how it is hunted as if that were the chiefeli good as if the only way to make them happy were to have respect and honour from this foolish vain World poor Soul why are we so deceived with vain shadows whilst letting go the substance that Soul is truly honourabâ—e which is truly graâ—ious O how much better is it to be blessed with the least smile of Christ then to be made empress of the whole world man being in true honour understandeth not abideth not but is like the beast that perisheth soon forgetting his Maker and from whence he is tâ—ken not willing to remember that he is dust and thither he must â—eturn his heart is taken up with other things how to exceed in state in richness of attire in gallant speeches yea is there not too many who would thing it most honourable to be most vitious O how my Soul bleeds for their desperate blindness O why will you thus rebel and cause the Lord to pour forth the Vials of his Wrath upon your heads who thus prophane that holy and blessed name of the eternal glorious Majesty at whose presence Angels cover their faces and at whose voice the earth shook O what a Monster is sinful man whilst in the state of Nature But now poor Soul go not too far in searching others wayes Keep more at home unvail thy sad deceitful heart thou hast cause enough to lament and sadly bewail thy own miscarriages Is there not still rebelâ—ion harbours in thy breast O too too much many for rebelling against an earthly Prince go not unpunished but from whom dost thou revolt but from thy dear and loving father a tender hearted God who through riches of Grace looked upon thee had mercy on thee and owned thee in his dear Son the Son of his love what punishment mâ—yest thou not be thought worthy of that shouldest grieve the spirit of God who hath abounded thus in love and mercy unto thee Ah wretched soul when he hath hid it from thousands of others Surely had but the Lord been pleased to cause one of the least glimps of Glory to shine upon several of their rejected Souls they had exceeded thee in holiness of life sincerity of heart and all humble obedience they would not have had those daily failâ—ngs thou art attended with had but they tasted of that heavenly banquet that soul inriching treasure which is laid up in an eternity of Glory would they not more thirst and long O could they be satisfied without being swallowed up in Glory without that immediate possession that faith gives Heb. 11. 1. v. Would they see any thing to take delight in in this World below Christ would they not set the Lord ever before them and desire to be ever with him but what art thou and how far comest thou short in every duty but O my Lord in thee is my hope here is my comfort still for what am I without supports and supplies from thee I had fainted long ago hadst not thou by special grace upheld me and given in comforts from thy self Sure Lord it was from free love and thou hast said thy love inâ—ures for ever thou art God and therefore changeth not O therefore it is that I was not consumed long ago and since thy Grace dear Lord is still the same O let my Soul for ever trust in thee till thou shalt please to free me from this body of death in which I cannot serve thee without sin for when I would do good evil is present before me O but blessed be the Lord that there is a deliverance wrought and that by Jesus Christ and that in him I am not left without this blessed hope which being revealed in due time I shall be released and enter into my fathers joy O Heavenly joy indeed where thou shalt be for ever happy in the most glorious presence of thy Lord from whence nothing shall part thee and where thou shalt never sin more but be for ever singing HAL-LELUJAH'S to his holy Glorious Name for this then will I wait but Lord grant me help from us above to run with
for a little very little season â—anity emptyness a bubble a pleasant â—ream to such a rich solid satisfying durable glorious enjoyment of Jesus Christ while hâ—re as but a tast of the glory shall be revealed Those vain pleasures of Youth must issue in sorrow and deep repentance and bitterness of Soul if ever pardoned and saved but the pleasure of knowing having being in Christ Jesus and the delightful fellowship of the Saints have with him issues a blâ—ssed cheaâ—fulness and joy in God without fear of Repentance unless it be that we have no more of Christ in us and that we sin against such Love and Grace so freely revealed to us Oh how happy are younger Men and Maidens as the Psalmist speaks 148 Psal that begin to fear the Lord from their youth to seek early after Jesus Christ for the Lord to see their Faces before the throne and to hear their sighs and cryes after him for Christ the Spirit saving grace power against all sin to take up a Cross and choose ye affliction and reproach of the Lords people before the vanity's Pride of Life and Fading Glory of this world this oh this is happiness soul-happiness everlasting happiness riâ—hes honour peace blessing which none can take away Especially in an Age of the great corruption of youth when Religion is made a by-word and a scorn when many hardned and blaspheme when so Few of the youth of noble and generous familyes Fall in with serious Godliness sobriety but serving divers lusts and plâ—asures to all excess of Riot to the debasing of their Spirits in a degenerateness from true Nobility and generousness of Spirit which is in knowledge good learning true wisdom and piety as fitting them to serve God and their Generation Oh in the midst of such impiety's how beautiful how honourable how pleasing to the Holy God for any younger persons especiall such as pretend to a generous mind and education such as are in Family's where excess prophaneness abounds or the Sons and Daughters of Godly Parents to betake your selves to seek and know and fear serve the great blessed God betimes to be an example and a blessing to secure Christ and holiness and heaven to walk in the truly noble delightful pretious ways which this peice and she that lived it holds forth unto thee In order hereunto how should the Soul of Parents unless they will be Soul Murtherers to their Children be in travail for grace and Conversion for their Children and not think it enough to get them Estates honours and great things in this Life and leave them and it under a curse that all sorts of Parents not only give them liberty but incourage them to Godliness to pray and read the Scriptures and attend upon powerful means of grace to tremble at sin to dispose of them in the world in order hereunto as this blessed Soul acknowledgeth the good use of Parents reproof and instructions unto her 1. In this peice you have first an account of her Conversion and calling how the Lord gradually carried on her first convictions her daily diligence in prayer and the word when a child the discoveryes she had of the Free grace of the Gospel of the Mistery of Christ of Righteousness by Faith of being in Christ of the love oâ— God and Fâ—llowship with him of which she gives an exact and distinct account discovering the choice and spiritual understanding she had in the Mistery of the Gospel not taking up only from sin to duty when Christ and grace little understood as it may be feared many do nor yet turning grace into wantonness but under the constraints of the choice discoveryes of Free and glorious Grace and the loves of God in the admirement and adoration of which she lived to attend to most intimate Communion with him the breathings and parting 's of her Soul as you will see still running out afrer more injoyment of and likeness to her deaâ— Lord Jesus and exactest holiness bemoaning her self wherein she fell short 2. Next you will meet witk her longing after the reâ—l Communion of Saints which all profess to believe in the Creed but will not bear the practice of in the pure ordinances of the Gospel in a con Congregational Chuch so called which when she enjoyed she expressed those blessed delights she had in Fellowship with the Lord Jesus the kisses of his Lips she there met with his blessed Ordinances and establishment of soul in peace and joy in believing 3. You have a choice discourse of Wisdom the true Heavenly Wisdom which her Soul diligently sought after and found which was more pretious to her then Rubies and all the things that are not to be compared to it the rich experience whereof she commends to the World in the debasement of all fleshly Wisdom iâ— comparison of it Especially to her dear Relations in the flesh which is the next particular in this discourse to whose acceptance she commends it with such bowels and gratioâ— affection and sweetness of Spirit such powerfâ—l convincing motives and from what of Heaven her own Soul hath tasted as might become one very skilful in the word of Righteousness to whose serioâ— perusal with the blessing of God I would commend it as that which may lead you into the path of Life helpt on by the singular example of her Life in her Holy sweet acceptable conversation towards you which I hope you are convinced did arise from a divine principle of Grace so to fill up every Relation to you longing after all your Eternal Salvation in Christ Jesus oh may all of you be ingaged not only to read but to beg of God the same Spirit of Wisdom and grace that was found in her to walk in the same steps and wayes Heaven ward that this be not a witness against any of you at the great day of Jesus Christ 4. The next part is as she stiles it the mistery of Godliness namely of the mistery of God in Christ the grace and love of â—â—e Father revealed by hâ—m in which I may take libâ—rty to say is as much of the Misteâ—y of the Gospel discoveâ—ed as usuaâ—ly I have met with in so little a Room especially as to living in a delightful fellowship therewith which was her great business till taken up unto him 5. The rest consists of occasional Meditations choice experiences ravishments of Divine Love admirations of grace holy praises sweet supports under tryals with the account she used to take of her self of hearing the word and the preparation of her soul thereto in those pretious longings of her Soul to meet with her dear Lord in Ordinances and the high value she put upon Communion of Saints in a Church of Christ of which there is but Room for the giving out of some tastes in this little Treatise Lastly her Meditations of death which the spirit of Christ was preparing her for in her time of health whereby death was made familiar to her
the Lord with tears that he would be pleased to give me a right understanding in what I could not well apprehend so gratious was the Lord at that time to give in answer to my poor request and caused me to find much sweetness and comfort in reading which before I never had found this raised up my heart to praise the Lord for his mercy towards me and gave me much comfort in that I hoped the Lord had not forgotten to be gratious but had in mercy owned himself to be my God hearing prayer and that the poor weak prayer of a wretched miserable creature who was looked upon with the eâ—e of scorn and much dispised this carried up my soul to joy in the Lord with praises to him in which I found much comfort and incouragement then did I in my heart resolve to wait upon the Lord with my poor petitions for strength till he should pâ—ease to give me a clearer evidence of his love and the true knowledge of his wayes which I desired to know above all earthly things tâ—us was the Lord pâ—eased to come in with a gratious iâ—fluence of his holy spirit whereby I received comfort from every â—ermon I â—eard for about 2 Months space But then how was my sinful and deceitful heart puffed up what thoughts did I begin to have of my self how had the Devil changed his notâ— and told my proud heart my state was now good and my graces were much increased for which I ought to be much esteemed how ready I was to do any thing which might secretly make me bethought well of by such as knew it then did I walk as one that was well principled in Religion and a great professâ—r O wicked wretch that after so much love should dare to be so careless as to let Satan steal away my heart yet the goodness of the Lord whose mercies indure for ever would not suffer me to rest in this condition but was pleased by a Sermon to make me behold my condition and search into with a single eye the subject he preached from was the 25 of Matthew the parable of the ten virgins whereby he shewed how far a carnal outward professor might be like a real Christian and yeâ— have never a dram of grace whiâ—h the Lord was pleased to fasten upon my soul making me to weigh my actions and the thoughts of my heart with the pure word of God where I â—ound much unsoundness and rottenness then was my heart east into its former sadness then was the Lord pleased to hâ—mblâ— my soul under the sence of a proud disâ—â—â—dâ—ent heart and made me to be more watchfull to my ways and apply my heart to reading and prayer which before it was much streightned in Thus did I look into the waies of some other professors where the Lord discovered to me many weaknesseâ— and failings by comparing of their wayes unto the pure word of God I saw a shortness of that Gospel spirit the whole Gospel so sweetly treats of this was a stumbling block to my soul thus was my trouble greatly increased wherein Saâ—an was very busie to destroy the comforts I had formerly had None could I find to declare my trouble so malitious was the fire brand of hell to cause several jealousies in the hearts of people what might be the cause of my trouble and as Daevid saies my humbling becaâ—e a reproach unto mâ— I cared not for company but most to be aloue in which I did contemplate the sweetness of his Divine Mercy yet desiring the Lord would ease me of my burden which I thought to be very great often should I sit and bewail my sad condition and be ready with Job to curse the day of my biâ—th yet in this my distress the Lord was pâ—eased to bring me to his feet then would I come with tears and offer up my poor supâ—licâ—tions before the Lord where I found my heart much inlarged beâ—ng affected with the love of God to sinners and carried out much upon those words call upon the Lord and he wiâ—l hear thee he is nigh unâ—o aâ—l that call upon him to deliver them ouâ— of trouble and many more sweet and seasonable Scriptures was the Lord pleased graâ—iously to bring into my remembrance and powerfully to apply unto my heart which made me go often unto the Lord and spread my condition before the Throne of his Grace having much incouragement to hope in his mercy thus did I find much comfort and sweetness in my secret communion with the Lord and found much ease in my troubles which I took aâ— gratious returns of my poor broken prayers and was much carried out to trust in him and to wâ—it upon him then could I sit and call to remembrance the mercies of old as a tender and a loving father who nourished up my poor soul which made me exceedingly admire the infinite riches of his Grace and the freeness of his love in Christ Jesus to my poor Souls which made me often cry out Lord what am I that thou shouldst take such notice of a poor creature that thou shouldest cast thine eye of love upon me though the Devil would yet be busie and often cast into my thoughts doubtful fear what was there in me should cause the Lord to pitty me and indeed I could do nothing in my self which began to increase my trouble yet I remembred it was the saying of David when my father and my Mother forsook me then the lord would look upon me this did at first revive me but then I considered David was a holy man after Gods own heart how dare I to lay claim to any thing belonged to him Thus was my base distrustful heart exercised with vaâ—iâ—â—y of temptaâ—ions by the Devil as to distrust the goodness of the Lord and to rob my soul of the comforts he was pleased many times to come in withall many times has the Lord been pleased to come in by a Sermon to my soul and as it were spake unto my present condiâ—ion but oh how dull have I been to remember and how did my unworthy walking cause those blessed truths to slip out of my mind yet was the Lord in mercy pleased to keep my heart sincere before him to plead for mercy for the Lords sake for whose sake he was gratiously pleased to continue his tender and compassionate love unto me The sweet experiences of the tender love of God to my Soul at Mrs. W. at School THen was the Lord pleased in much bounty to appear very gratious to my poor Soul and drawed out my heart much to long after the knowledge of his waies now being yet under the old way of Worship I bâ—sought the Lord truly to convince my Judgement as well as my affâ—â—ctions of the way which is of his own setting up but for a small time the Lord was pleased yet to leave me to my self that I found my self at a loss being dead and dull yet performing outward duties but with
saith my God But now here is pleasure which proceeds from the breast of wisdom such pleasure as will bring profit to the soul and peace also such pleasure as will never hurt the soul but make it happy for ever What is it people take pleasure in is it not commonly in things that excel for richness for glory and delight c. Pray consider what thing more glorious can we have then to be found in the radiments of Heaven for glory for beauty for splendor for delight and comfort such are not to be found in the earth nor in the least to be equalled with it to injoy Communion with a God who is infinitely glorious so that there is none like unto our God to have an interest in a Christ who is altogether lovely and can it be exprest the good and comfort a soul in Christ is inriched withal even with joy unspeakable and full of Glory Oh what comparison can be made with the joys of heaven and those Rivers of endless pleasures which are at Christs right hand for evermore these are the pleasures which true spiritual Wisdom is accompanied with nay her paths are pleasantness and her ways are peace she leads in the wayes of God and those wayes are the wayes of peace and worldly troubles can never overcome a heavenly peace is it not a comfort to a Soul though in the midst of storms in the world to see himself at peace with God what sufferings would he think hard and too much for him to bear when he sees his Soul in a bond of peace being reconciled unto the Father by the Son even Christ Jesus This is not such a peace as the world giveth no 't is the peace of God which passeth all understandings which God is pleased to give unto his Saints alone as an earnest of eternal happiness and t was the care of our dear Saviour himself at his parting out of the world to leave his peace with us even with his own to bear them out and keep up their hearts in those tryals temptations and conflicts which they are sure to meet withal in their pilgrimage before they come to that holy Hill of Sion that heavenly Jerusalem that glorious City of which the Lamb himself is the light which being attained the recompence surely outpasses very much the labour after it here is the pleasure of a true believer in the fruition of God and here lies his comfort in being at peace with God and this can bear him up and support him though in the midst of a fiery furnace now those are the pleasures of the godly but the worldlings pleasures are of another kind the wicked deliâ—hteth himself in worâ—d iâ— vanities as if their were the greatest happiness and truly so it is to them they think not of their eternal being 〈◊〉 make provision â—or the flâ—sh â—haâ— they may 〈◊〉 the luâ—t thereof And hâ—d rather loose heaven with all the glory of it although it be a being of eternal rest rather then part with their base lusts in which they take pleasure and which they cannot keep long but may in the midst of those their pâ—easures â—e snatched away and 〈◊〉 to receive the reward of their actions in horror and eternal darkness those that had rather sin then suffer for the cause of Christ here shall assuredly suffer for their sin to all eternity he is not worthy of Christ that cannot with coâ—tenâ— parâ— wiâ—hal for him what is our all even nothing when we consider the gain we have by Christ nay what have we of our own to loose what we have is it not from the hand of our heavenly father who is the given of all goodness We â—â—ceive it and cannot he that giveth all take it aâ— again wâ—ensoever he pleaseth and if he â—hrough his infinite wisdom seem good to take hose things from us which might through our base corrupt hearts proves snares to our Souls and give unto us heavenly treasures the riches of his grace and gift of his holy spirit the true wisdom to know him who to know a right is life Eternal and having of these how great will the exchange be what cause can a Soul in such a case have to complain although he were stript of all worldly comforts surely he ought to lay his hand upon his mouth and submit unto the Lord in all things Naked came I out of my mothers womb c. Yet sometimes the Saints of God walk in heaviness under the afflicting hand of God even when the Lord hath withdrawn his quickning presence from them which made David lye sobbing under so great an oppression also all the dear Children of God have been sensible of the loss they have sustained by Gods withdrawing of his presence from them what sad cries and complaints have the church made for the same reason but will God forsake for ever no he will not for a moment I hid my face from thee but in everlasting kindness will I remember thee whom God loves he loves for ever and chastisements are but effects of his love the dearest of Gods Children may stand in need of the rod of Correction And God is pleased as a loving Father to try all waâ—es for his Childrens good he will hide his face from them that they may see the evil of their sin which hath caused them to loose the comfort of their Souls and thereby return with repentance that they receive mercy for he is a tender hearted father who looks with the eyes of compassion on his Children and will hear them when they cry unto him he will put their tears into his bottle so pretious are they in his sight he will comfort the mourner and hath pronounced him blessed O blessed be the means that brings such blessedness to the Soul that it should be taken notice of by the great God who would not be a mourner all his dayes to have such a comforter to help and succour him and who would not forsake the vain pleasures of the world to injoy those heavenly felicities and eternal pleasures which are at Christ right hand for ever more Lord give me evermore that bread and satisfie my Soul there with O see where beauty lies the Kings daughter is all glorious within there 's her beauty not laid open to the eyes of worldlings but in the sight of her well beloved alone to the world they look black and swarthy yet are they washed in the fountain of his blood hence they are declared to be without spot the world seeth not these things but the Lord is the searcher of hearts and the tryer of Reins whose eyes go through the earth and knoweth who they be whose hearts are upright before him O here is wisdom even in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus whom to know to know a rigbt is life Eternal to know God to be a wise just and merciful God to those that have his fear in their hearts who desire to walk in obedience
boldness thorough Christ have â—câ—eâ—s unto the throne of Grace and through the Son injoy communion with the Father being related to God having him to be thy Father bâ—ing a member of Christ being bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh the temple of the Holy Ghost the Spirit of God dwelling in you and is God thy Father then consider who 't is is pâ—eased to own thee for a child not a man no nor the best of men would you not think it great honour to be the Son of some Noble Man much more if you were Son to a King is it honour to be Son to an earthly King an will you count it no glory to be Son to the King of Kings will you give honour to an earthly King and will you not honour him by whom Kings Reign surely if God becomes thy Father he deserves honour from such a poor wretched creature as thou art consider the transcendant love and iâ—finite wisdom of the great God in calling all out of the world if thou belong to him he will look on thee when thou art in thy blood when thou art covered over with a Leprosy of sin and corruption and no eye pittied thee when thou wert dead then he saith lâ—ve ye being an enemy he reconciled to himself through the Blood of his own Son the Son of his love in whom he was well pleased in whom he delighted in whom there was no sin neither guile found in his Mouth yet this was the infinite unspeakable Love of God to poor sinners and for our sakes was the Lord of glory willing to come down out of the Bosom of his Father into the Circle of corruped earth to disrobe himself of his gloâ—y and take upon him sinful flesh nay he took upon him the form of a Servant and â—umbled hâ—mself unto deaâ—h even thae cursed death of the Cross that he might exalt thee and purchase for thee a crown of Glory what heart is there but a heart of stone that these charractors of Gods unspeakable Love cannot make impression upon have you seen the Love of God in Christ and not been touched with a lively sence of so infinite a mercy have you experienced it is any wise and not found the love of Christ to be a constraining Love surely those that have tasted the gratious sweetness of the Lord will be filled with a holy admiration and will have a heart full of breathings after those Heavenly visions and long for a more intire Communion with the Father of mercies and the God of Love But these seem to be strange things to a carnal Soul they are not to be seen with the eyes of flesh but by the eye of faith through the opperation of the Spirit the holy spirit of God the holy Ghost the comforter which our Saviour promised to send to his disciples and with them the whole elect of God now did we but consider the miserableness of our condition by nature being dead duâ—l blockish having no life or sence at all in any spiritull action yet that the Lord should awaken such out of the graves of there sins and reveal the righteousness of Christ unto them who can but admire the infinite goodness of our God now when this spirit of God workes it comes with power discovering sin and teaching the Soul to deny all ungodlyness and sinfull lusts and to live righteously and soberly in this present evill world the Soul is convinced of siin before of righteousness Christ came not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance who will seek to a physitian that is not senâ—able of any want he have of him be that thinks himself most secure hath the most need of help Laâ—dicea said she was rich and full and needed nothing when Christ found her poor blind and naked and she knew not not her miserable condition being destitute and wholy wanting When we see our selves at a loss O whether shall we go but unto Christ who is infinitely able to save unto the utâ—eâ—most all that by faith come unto him let us not dispaire for God is faithfull who hath promised and his word shall stand for ever let us fly unto the throne of his graee by that new and living way which he hath found out and appointed for the eternall comfort of poor sinners even the Lord Jesus Christ the Lord of glory and the Son of his love that whosoever truly repents from his heart and by faith lares hold upon him shaâ—l not perish but have everlasting liâ—e O let us admire the infinite goodness of the â—ord and dilligently inquire whether we have ever had this change effectuall wrought in us or no have we the shâ—mtâ—mbes of a new born Soul in us then we shall â—ee what cause we have to magnifie the riches of his grace in calling us from the world unto himself by his holy spirit that hath not suffered us to lye buryed under the ruins of our own sins out of which we cannot come without the drâ—wings of God and the greatness of the mercy wiâ—l heighten our praise when we consider the infinite number of dead Souls on the right hand and on the left and yet that the Lord should please in a more perticular manner gratiously to look upon us A Heaven born Soul as new born babe desires the sincere milke of the word that it may grow thereby which being fed upon through the power of the spirit is able to bring the Soul into a perfect state in Christ Jesus who is the word of life and the express image of his fathers person A new creature finds in himself a wonderful change every faculty of his soul is changed Christ died to redeem us to himself from the world from our vain conversations As well to sanctâ—fie us as to save us that we should live no longer to our selves but to him that hath bought us and purchased to himself a peeular people zâ—aâ—ous of Good Works that he might reign as a King in our hearts who is the King of righteousenss and who has commanded us to be holy as he is hâ—ly without which there is no seeing of the face of a holy God and siâ—ce it is onely Love and new obediance which proceed from Love that the Lord of Glory hath required of us in return of those unspeakable tokâ—ns of hiâ— Lovâ— to us O what are we or what is our Love that we should not think all we have two little for so good a God that we should not willingly render unto the Lord our ALL is nothing at all what is good is of the Lord not ours and his but just that he should have his own O then let us not keep back any part of what the Lord hath required of us but let us turn to him with the whole heart for it is his by purchase and though he hath in mercy afforded us greater comforts for our use it is not that our hearts should be taken up in them
O how blessâ—d is that place where thou wilt dwell shall I not be kept O keep me from sin from grieving that holy spirit of grace O come sweet Sâ—viour take up thy rest here in my poor nâ—ked Soul and let my resting place be under the shadow of thy wings then shall I fear no ill for thou art my support and comfort for ever My Soul what great use mayest thou make of this great grace what singular comforts mayest thou reap from this great benefit if this grâ—at God be thy Father poor Soul here is grace indeed why then as a father pittyeth his children so he is pleased to pitty thee O he considers thy frailty and that thou art but dust therefore as a tender father who hath long waited that he might be gratious he still retaineth mercy his everlasting mercy unto those he hath been pleased to take into his everlasting Covenant Is this God thy Father O then poor Soul how greatly art thou honoured Is it no small thing in the eye of David to become the Son in Law unto an earthly King and shall it not be a great thing in thy account to be the Daughter of so great a King Ah my poor Soul hath the Lord thus honoured thee hath he iâ—dâ—ved thee with so great a Glory O then walk worthy thereof VVilt thou dishonoâ— him that gave thee breath and formed thee out of the dust to live and praise him who hath purchased thee to bâ— a peculiar one unto himself O wilt thou defile that glory by thy unworthy walking If thine earthly Father deserves that honour as is due to him by nature and the commands of God of how much more honour is thy heavenly father worthy to whom thou art beholden for thy All O then be careful my poor Soul and do not dishonor the name of thy great God is this great God thy Father then delight thy self in his presence and rejoyce in him above all for thou â—ast found through grace how sweet t is to be in the presence of thy God and Father to solace thy self in his Love O how sweet a thing it is to possess this to injoy that Communion in which thou art said to be kissed with the kisses of his Lips and made partaker of those heavenly Glories O how good is it to be in the contemplation of these eternal and transcendant beauties these glorious streams of living waters these sweet shades of everlasting comforts and to be filled with that everlasting fulness that filleth all in all O how much better is it to my Soul to be one of the meanest in thy presence to behold thy Glory then to be the greatest potentate upon Earth Let me behold thy Glory O cause thy face to shine upon me so shall all darkness be dissipated and nothing shall appear too haâ—d for me when thou hast cloathed me with thy strength O t is thy presence makes all things beautiful O t is this presence brings true comfort and gives full satisfaction to thy Soul satisfaction is not to be had in any thing below a Saviour no not in very friends they are all but fading comforts and may leave thee and forsake thee but then saith David even then the Lord took me up my heavenly father hath a greater love a pitty for me he hath said In the presence of the Fathere shall no ill come to thee the Lord will take thy drooping Soul into his banqueting house and speak peace to thee by love imbraces he will stay thee with flaggon and comfort thy love sick Soul with the choicest delights O how sweet is his fruit eaten under his shadow what comfort is it to a wearied Soul lye down under so sweet a shade to to take its rest from scorching heats storms and tempests If thâ—s great God be my Father then I will go unto him and make known my wants he can heâ—p in every condition and supply all my wâ—nts plentifully Lord I want wisdâ—m Lord I want all things but hast thou mâ—d◠〈◊〉 â—hrist to be all things for me then in giving him to me thou givest all and blessed be thy great aâ—d holy name And â—rt thou O God my Father How can iâ— be so grâ—at a priviledge belongs to me poor worâ— O let me then indeed and truly depend on thee O let my trust be in my God and suffer not my Soul to turn aside from thy commands O my poor Soul cast all thy care upon the Lord and trust in him for ever for blessed are they that trust in him at all times and who canst thou better trust thy self with then in the hands of thy Father And such a Father whose tender bowels are so great as will not suffer any thing to come nigh thee for thy hurt he knows what is best and fittest for thee a God whose pâ—wer reacheth over all the World and can bring to pass whatsoever pleaseth him O there is nothing Lord too hard for thee thou canst in one moment make thy poor servant such as thou wouldest have her to be O do so Lord for thy dear meâ—cies sake and let the glory of all return to thee Then hast thou such a God to go to as thy faâ—her in the time of need O what comfort is there for thee in any time of outward troubles when thou canst say thou art in the hands of a graâ—ious merciful God who afflicteth buâ— in measure when â—he doth afflict and that not according to what thy sins and iniquitâ—es have deserved a God that is slow to â—â—gâ—r pâ—enteous in mercy and when he doth chastise it is to separate thee from thine iniquity and make thee know in what thou hast offended him O let the end of thy chastizing hand dear Lord be such to me as may refine my Soul from all its dross then such afflictions shall be good ye good for me that keeps me in thâ— favour that cause me to find acceptance with thee Make that a great comfort to me in the greatest streight and difficulty that can come in this world he who hath all power in his own hands shall he not do whatever he pleaseth with his own yet he hath promised never to leave nor for sake them he will be still the God of those that fear him and will deliver them when they cry unto him O therefore my soul fear the Lord and let thy trust be ever more in him fear not man who hath a Linited power and shall go no further then thy Heavenly Father gives them leave they plot and devise mischief against thee and thine anointed thou seest O Lord and wilt thou not arise to plead thine own cause that they may see and be confounded every one when there councell shall be brought to nought and they made to see the greatness of the God of Jacob O Lord though we have sinned let not thy great name be poluted by those who know thee not O let that be still more glorious though