little spiritual life and my heart also was carried out after vanities then I found that I had lost the former sweet incombs of the Lord and the refreshings of this blessed spirit and was as one luâ—led a sleep by the deceitful inchantments of Satan and malitious devices O wicked and decâ—iâ—ful â—eaâ—t how couldst thou so soon forget such bondage delivered from such 〈◊〉 aâ— the Devil had so often got thee into how soon hast thou forgot the God of all thy mercies how hast thou made the Lord to serve with thy sins Yet once more was the Lord pleased to call me out of my benumbed conditions and shewed how I was running my self into my own destruction Oh the goodness of the Lord who never dâ—d leave me but to see my oâ—n in aâ—ility to live without his heâ—p then did the Lord in mercy convince me of the emptiâ—ess of all Earthly vanities and also of that way of formal worship that it was a dead carnal lifeless thing under which my soul couâ—d not prosper and so growing weary of it more and more at length besought the Lord to guide my poor iâ—norant Soul which was so easie to be led away with every wicked and â—ubâ—ile device of â—atan my heart desired much to hear goâ—d men and when I could with convenience which some took notice of and said I was one whom the Apostle speaks of having iâ—chiâ—g ears ever lâ—arning c. â—his did muâ—h afflict me about which the Lord was pleased to give me a heart to seeâ— him and that earnestly for his assistance in the knowledge of his truth One more experience of the providence of God appeared unto me as an incouragement to trust in his mercy and to wait upon him by prayer for all things I had at that time a distemper upon me of which I saw no hope of cure yet one day particularly being in a serious meditation of the infinite goodness of the Lord toward me the Lord was pâ—eased to direct my eye upon a place of Scripâ—ure where I found the woman coming to the Lord confessing that she had â—pent aâ—l she hâ—d â—o be cuâ—ed of her Infirmity and one touch of Christs garment had done it from thence may not I come trembling that have received so many testimonies of his love tryed so many medcines before I came unto the Lord or looâ—ed up to him for help then did I bewail my unpâ—ofitableness yet went unto the Lord in the language of the Lepper and said Lord if thâ—u wilt thou canst make me clean who was not deaf to my poor request but in some small time was gratiously pleased as I may say without means wholy to clear me of it this mercy carried up my heart more to praise the Lord then any yet I had received who notwithstanding all my weaknesses and sinfulnesses was gratiously pleased to follow me with many mercys Of further discoveries of Christ Then was the Lord pleased in his gratious Providence to remove me to a place in H. Sh. where I had much more advantage of means and helps for my poor Soul VVHere the Lord was pleased to give me through his grace a little more insight into the mind â—f Christ evidencing himself to be a God graâ—ious and merciful abundant in gâ—odnâ—ss c. I was filled with admiration to see the holy glorious God abase himself to so poor a wretchless Creature as I then was I cryed out with earnest desires and longings after more of the knowledge of this God but here came I under strong temptations Satan was powerful in raising up of spiritual Pride but the Lord whose goodness never failled me did then take care for me thou O Lord who broughtest me out of the Pit of despair O suffer me not to climb up to the Mount of Presumption then was the Lord pleased in the tenderness of his love to convince me that the poor in Spirit were heirs of the Kingdom that the lowly Soul was his habitation then I besought God begging at the Throne of Grace for the assistance of his gratious Spirit without which I could do nothing and that he would humble me even to the dust that so my Soul might not loose the sight of that Glory revealed in the face of Jesus Christ This the Lord was gratiously pleased to grant and sweetly bring me to see a riches in Christ Jesus and that this was more to be desired then all the treasures upon Earth The longings of her Soul after Church Fellowship and all the Ordinances of Christ THen did I long after God and the injoyment of him in his own way and said Lord thou hast made me O lead me in that way wherein I may bring most glory to thy self I durst â—ot trust my own judgement but resign'd my self unto his will and continued my petitions at tâ—e â—hrone of Grace and at length he was pleased gâ—atiâ—usâ— to answer my poor prayer â—lessâ—d be â—hy name O Lord O let my Soul be inlarged in thy pâ—aâ—ses One day the Lord was pleased by a strange providence to cast me into the company of one that I never saw before but of a sweet and free disposition and whose discourse savour'd so much of the Gospel that I could not but at that instant bless God for his goodness in that providence it pleased the Lord to carry out our hearts much towards one another at that time and a little while after the Lord was pleased to bring us together again for the space of three dayes in which time it pleased God by our much converse together to establish and confirm me more in the desires I had to jâ—yn with the people of God in socâ—ety and enjoy Communion with them according to the order of the Gospel she was of a society of the Congregational way called Iudependants and gave me so clear a demonstration of their wayes that upon considerations and searching of the Scripture for the understanding of which learnestly besought the Lord I was cleerly convinc't in my judgment that this was the way which came nearest to the ruâ—e of the Gospel and the commands of Christ then were our hearts firmâ—y united and â— blessed the Lord from my soul for so glorious and vâ—sible an appearance of his love for I had many sweet refreshments given me at that time when she was gone I was sensible of the great mercy the Lord had been pleased to show me but in an instance snatcht it from me again at which I began to be troubled but aâ—ter a few reflections to this purpose why do I not patiently submit to the will of my Father who knows what is best for me my soul was again filled with hungrings and thirstings after God for a more clear and full inâ—oyment of him and that in that bâ—essed ordinance appointed for a seal to coâ—fiâ—m the Covenant he hatâ— gratiously made through hiâ— dear Son with aâ—l believers this was at a time when the Lord was pleased as to
heart and â—ryeth the reins Great mistakes through a deceitful heart thou maist entertain and apply to thy self that comfort which of right belongs not to thee a deceitful heart saith oft times Peace where no true peace is therefore O how pretious is that peace of God that passeth understanding that only can make the Soul happy that blessed peace which the Lord Jesus breathed upon his poor disciples and left them as a glorious legacy of pretious Love O my soul It must be Christ in thee the hope of Glory must be the author of thy comfort and eternal happiness therefore sayes the Apostle by this truth try the truth of your condition examine your selves whether ye be in the faith 2 Cor. 13. 5. Prove your own selves know ye not your own selves that Christ be not in you except you are reprobates a sad and dismal condition to be rested in and since it is so needful a thing to be found in Christ O my Soul how requisite would it be and how much would it add unto thy present and eternal comfort to be fully assured in this point of so great importance but what should a poor weak creature do Lord I will cast my self at thy footstool O do thou prove me and try me and suffer me not to rest under a deceitful heart make clear this in the way of prayer meditation c. and to my Soul that by the spirit speaking peace my soul may be sealed up with everlasting comfort by which to glorifie the riches of thy free Grace for ever Meditations of being in Christ TO be in Christ is to be a new Creature quickned inlivened delivered from the power of sin and Satan and the deadness of our sinful natures to serve the living Lord the spirit is given unto those whom he hath called by Grace and taken into Covenant with himself for he that hath not the spirit of Christ is none of his and this spirit is holy humble gratious teaching the soul to know the voice of him that gives it My sheep her my voice the Lord knows them also for he hath given them of his own spirit and so made them to be partakers with him of the Divine nature by which grace the soul comes to be a follower of Jesus Christ denying ungodliness and sinful lusts All these things which are in opposition to so glorious a change and to be more in confâ—â—mity unto our Lord and Saviour who hath gâ—ven of his spirit unto poor souls that they might be so nâ—w the fruits of the spirit is love joy peace long sâ—ffâ—ring genâ—â—â—â—â—ss goodness faith weakness temperaâ—ce fuâ—filled all in that blessed pattern the Lord Jesus who out of Love to the poor Soul made himself an example that thou thereby mightest learn of him instructions Now the righteous Lord loves righteousness and is gratiously pleased to place a delight in that soul that desires to walk humbly before him having access unto the father by the same spirit of Christ living in the soul by faith through him to find acceptance at the throne of Grace and favour in the sight of the great and holy God now my soul be earnest in the search this great thing ask the assistance of thy great JEHOVAH thy tender loving father who only can give grace and promiseth gratiously that he will supply the wants of them that truly seek him and shall spread their case before him through so rich a mediator the Mediator of that new and everlasting Covenant of grace and mercy who hath said for the comfort of his poor Wormâ— here whatsoever ye shall ask the father in my name believing it shall be done unto you O is the Lord so gratious and hast thou so great refuge to run to why standest thou here gazing Meditations of being the Servant of Christ OH how rich a priviledge is it to be a Servant of the Lord Jesus Christ hath not my Lord been pleased to give me a heart truly to beg this yea from my soul to beg that he would cast his yoak upon my neck that he would accept of me poor worm to be his servant O how much more did my soul long to be made a door keeper in the house of my God then to injoy the greaâ—est glories of the world O how hath my soul longed yea thirsted after the living Lord that he would please to make me one whom he would honour with the beholding of â—is glory not desiring greater priviledge O but my Soul now see and above all admire the gratious condescention or thy glorious God who hath not only answered the poor request which he did through grace inable thee to breath out before him but hath abundantly inlarged his bounty and filled thee with joy he hath filled the hungry Soul with good things with the best things and given thee not only a sight of his Glory but O the abounding Love the unspeakable goodness of thy gratious God an interest in that glory so that thou canst through grace now say thou art my God thou art my Lord so great a priviledge to me thou knowest dear Lord my soul desires to resine it self to thee make it such as thou wouldst have it Lord I am thine do by me whaâ—soever seemeth good in thy sight this afternoon the Lord was pleased to bring open home unto my soul the glorious nature of prayer through the Ministry of our dear Pastors from the 12 of Rom. to the 12 v. that this prayer is It is a Saints recreation A glorious exercise in which the Soul hath access to go through a Mediaâ—or whereby a Saint may improve his interest daily at the throne of grace and make humble confession of our manifold transgressionâ— to ask things needful for us these remain on our part but to return humble and hearty thanksgivings to the Lord for all our mercies herein is the Lord glorified and O what a comfort through Grace is it when we can give thanks when we can come and return hearty and humbâ—e thanks at the throne for all the good we have and do daily receive from the bountiful hands of our great JEHOVAH Lord be thou pleased to engrave this upon the heart of thy poor servant Meditations on the 11th of Luke 19. Of a new heart And I will give them one heart and I will put a new spirit within you and I will take tâ—e stony heart out of the flesh and will give them a heart of flesh WHo is the giver of this new heart even the Lord of Glory what is this new heart it is a pure single upright sincere heart why doth the Lord in the conversion of a Soul give him a new heart because it is the heart that he requires in duties the sincerity of the soul to walk before him in Love this cannot an old base carnal heart do until it be renewed an humble soul goes with a regenerated Soul the Lord will give more grace unto the humble but pride the
Lord resisteth Oh give thy poor unworthy one more grace and keep my soul humble under the sence and feeling of thy gratious Love so shall I Lord still praise thee and whilst I live extol the riches of thy grace O to injoy this sweet communion with thy glorious self Dear Lord this is more delightful and more pretious to me then to injoy the greatest treasures upon eâ—rth how pretious is the Lord unto my soul These are the excellencies and the glorious priviledge of a regenerate soul a new creature whose heart is changed through the gratious opperation of the holy spirit the whole nature is changed the glorious Image of the Lord Jesus is râ—newed on it it is made an heir of Heaven a tempâ—e of the Holy Ghost a member of Christ Of thirsting after assurance of Heaven BLessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled they shall be made to drink deep of the wells of Salvation they shall be filled in the mansions of eternal glory when others shall be deprived of the least crum of comfort t is he that seeks shall find and he that knocks shall have the door opened unto him seek ye first the kingdom of Heaven and the righteousness thereof and all these things shall be added unto you things of this life are but additional acts of his bounty The great and prime part of a Christians work is to make sure of Heaven and his eâ—ernall happyness hereafter O great is that goodness of the Lord how abundant his compassion his love to poor sinful man who would not have them set their hearts on such poor low things as only this world affords but a Kingdom of glory yea an everlasting Kingdom that shall never fade a kingdom in which dwelleth righteousness the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus no less then these things would the Lord have his poor people covet after the rest are but things less material and shall be given over and above these things shall be added to you O wonderful goodness Such great and glorious priviledges such promises such additional comforts Oh what is man that thou shouldest be so mindful of him or the son of man that thou shouldest thus delight to do him good Oh my soul this is the Lords doings it is the great JEHOVAH is thus pleased to stoop and condescend on terms of mercy to take poor sinful souls into his favour I and he willeth nothing less to them then an eternal weight of Glory and is not this worth seeking after O sure it is to that soul who hath had a tast of what it is su e heavenly treasures far exceed all earthly vanities then surely in proportion to the goodness of them should the desire of the â—oul be let out after them Therefore O let thy affections be set on heavenly things since it is the goodness of the Lord to thee that thou mightest â—ast that he is gratious that thou shouldest by sweet experiences find him to be faithful in whatsoever he hath promised for good unto thy soul thy poor immortal soul which without his grace had perished to all eternity O 't is for good to thee the Lord hath thus commanded thee to seek that everlasting Kingdom O t is thy soul will be the gainer and thou through grace shall one day find it so O remember my Soul thy Covenant with God in the day of thy espousal then when it was the time of love when he was pleased to put thee in the clefts of the rock Christ Jesus and then to cause his gâ—ory to pâ—sâ— before thee to make with thee an everlasting Covenant setled and sure thâ—t in the unchangeableness of his Grace shall stand for ever wer 't thou but all wayes in the contemplations of these heavenly joyes thy heart could find no time to place it self on such mean things as this poor world affords to be rich in Grace and to be heirs of Glory O how much better is it then to be incumbred with the things below to have Communion with God and to joy in the presence of thy King is far better then to be in favour with the greatest Princes upon Earth oh let my soul dear father live daily in the rich experience of this blessed truth more and more whilst my abode is here oh let me find the daily quickning of thy gratious spirit to injoy thy presence is to live in Heaven whilst here oh tâ—s thy self that makes the passage sweet to Glory oh t is the cords of thy Love that makes the soul to run with hungrings and breathings after thee that makes it love thy precepts more then its dayly food thus thou hast made me through thy grace experimentally to tast O then hide not thy face dear Lord from my soul The Loves wherewith thou hast delighted my soul goes beyond all earthly glories oh in the sence of this let my soul walk before my God in its integrity yea for this will I go unto my God and Father for daily supplies since he it is that giveth liberally Meditations of Death IS death a terror to a gâ—atious Soul what is there in it can affright thee when as the sting is gone let it put on its worse ill shapen dress it can it shall produce no harm unto thee Death shall but â—elease thee from a wretched world of misery and prefer thee to a glorious Crown of blessedness the one will make thee everlasting miserable the other eternally happy in the fruition of the fathers Love in the full free and perfect injoyment of his glorious presence unto all eternity oh then how happy how blessed a thing it is to be dissolved and be with Christ where sin shâ—ll no more haunt thee here poor soul thou canst not chuse but see thy self daily involved with sin followed with corruptions one of the worst of sinners and in that thy shame should pull thee down into the dust and make thee daily mourn in the abhorrency of thy vile self since 't is a God of so much Love that thou dost daily sin against oh wretched Soul maist thou cry out who shall deliver thee from this body of death Yet O my soul take comfort in a dying Lord and glory in the strength of him who is the God of thy salvation O let his strength be magnified in thy weakness and the riches of his grace appear more glorious in the saving of such a one thou well maist say thou art the worst of sinners and yet through grace thou canst say thou dost abhor sin dost thou delight in it no t is thy burthen and since t is so take comfort In the remembrance of him who sweetly sayes come unto me he hath taken out the sting and is become thine advocate yea and will plead thy cause through his own merit and everlasting Righteousness in which through free grace and infinit mercy he will present thee spotless before the throne of that Heavenly Grace
that she fell asleep in Jesus even before we were aware of it and indeed she could hardly bear the absence from her dear Lord any longer as in her last Poem you will perceive Surely by such a despised Testimony the sleepy World is condemned and every Soul tâ—at peruseth it should be provoked to take the Kingdom of Heaven by the same violence And Professors of Godliness may hereby be convinced of slightness of Spirit sinful neglects formality in duty and ordinances Love of the World decays in Grace taking up with priviledges of Saints when intimate Communion with the Lord and growth of grace is not so seriously attended to by them against which this Treatise is also a living Testimony and may be blessed of God to the quickning of them Let all such specially but remark that veâ—n and Spirit runs through their short discourses which was to prepare and keep her Soul to God to be duly calling in her own heart much in deepest humbling and â—elâ— reflexion Praying Reading Meditation being her Morning and Evening exercise highly esteeming every opportunity of enjoying the Lord accounting the feet of those beautifull that brought the good tidings having a high reverence and affection for the servants of Christ in that work and an intire love to all Saints as Saints though of different perswasions at this day in the weakness Tenderness Patience Love of the Spirit especially let me bespeak the Congregation of Christ whereof she was a Member in this City as also all the Churches of Saints to be following this Holy and pretious example and practice which seemâ—th to be ordered by a hand oâ— prâ—vidence and grace to awaken professors from the evils mentioned which I fear have overtaken many instead of their soul being kept in life and warmth and attending to spirituallity and growth in grace and being full of love and good works under the loud calls they have thereunto by the word and providences of God they are under that they may witness a good profession as they are called thereunto in the midst of a gainsaying generation Reader in a word thou maist here learn what it is to live and dye comfortably which is the great concernment before thee which the Lord in his rich grace give unto thee and bless the reading hereof for the ends for which it is published as prayeth Thy Servant for Jesus sake A. P. In the Year 1670. The Account of her early conversation O my Soul considâ—r the wonderful goodness of God revealing his free Grace and unbounded Love towards thee a poor Worm oh how wonderful is this condescention of his that thou shouldest be made an object of mercy my soul forget not his unspeakable love let it be recorded keep in remembrance thâ—se choice blessings of a loving Father bestowed so freely on me in the Lord Jesus Christ the dear Son of his Love who hath born with thee in many weaknesses iâ—firmities and ever seem'd to ovâ—rlook all corruâ—tions and set thee undeâ— his eye of pitty and compassion O let this be a means mâ—re to incite to a near closer walking with God that thou maist be born up against the wâ—les of Sâ—tan thy subtle enemy whose aim iâ— to destroy thee for ever IN the 11 Year of my Age the Lord was pleased to take away my dear Mother my Parents were very dear and tender of me and did not leave me without instructions of the things of God At that time the Lord was pleased to carry out my heart to things I then knew not For as soon as my Parents had taught me there was a God I had an awe upon my heart concerning him I could then reason with my heart and said the Lord made me and he made me to serve him and I must do it so being young the Lord was pleased in the freeness of his Grace to kindle in my heart some small sparks of affections to himself I remember on a time a little Brother of mine was sick and my Mother being very tender of her Child one Lords day would not go to Church which caused me also to stay at home but wanting employment out of my Mothers sight went to work about my babies at night the Lord was pleased to take a way the Child I standing by the Cradle which brought a fear upon me presently that I had been the cause by my working that day of the Lords anger in taking away my brother I also remember that I went out and wept bitterly in the consideration of my days work but never let my friends know it I was much troubled at it but hoped such was the ignorance of my heart that all would be well again by my praying and going to Church which I was careful to do and fearful to omâ—â— one duty which might hinder the means of my salvation and cause the Lord to be displeased with me The Ten Commandments was much upon my heart making that my only rule to walk by and was earnest with the Lord that he would help me to the daily observing and fulfilling of them for then knew there must be a greater power then my own to inable me to the performance of it also my Parents taught me in my Carechism what was my duty towards God and towards my Neighbour by my continual saying of them the Lord was pleased to work them upon my spirit and into my affections and then in mercy to take notice of me in the freeness of his Grace and tender mercy to own me in the Lord Jesus Christ whom I was ignorant of aâ— to what he had done and undergone for my soul but now I can't but admire to behold the infinite goodness and tender love of God who was then pleased to chuse me from amongst my Brethren and his own self took care of me leading me by many paths of providence passing over all my Corruptions my weaknesses and my failings caused me to find a tender hearted Father of a great and Holy God oh how sweetly hath the Lord been pleased to carry on the work of Grace in my poor unworthy Soul How exceedingly doth his Glory shine and his goodness appear in that he whâ— iâ— the high and mighty One the Great God of Heaven and Earth the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords should condescend so far as to cast his eye upon a Worm much more His love upon a distressed creature About the same year of my Age the Lord was pleased to take away my dear Mother by which I had a great loss yet knowing it was my duty to trust God at all times I laboured therefore to be content and the Lord was pleased to bear me up by considerations of his love I was in the time of my Mothers life sickly and weak subject to divers bodily infirmiâ—ies which made my Mother the more tender of me hence I was more sensible of my great loss but such was thâ— goodness of God that he was pleased then wholy to take
therefore know thy duty in it but rejoice in as much as ye are partakers of Christs sufferings that when his glory shall be revealed ye mâ—â— be glad also with exceeding joy And in another place if you suffer with him you shall also Reign with him and let none of you suffeâ— aâ— an evill doer at a Mâ—â—derer thiefe or as a busie body in other mens matters yet if any man suffer as a Christian cleaâ—ly on that account let him not be a shamed â—ut let him glorifie God on this behalf for the time is coming that judgâ—ment must begin at the house of God and if it first begin at us what shall the end bâ— of them thaâ— obey not the Gospell of God and if the righteous scaâ—cely be saved where shall the ungodly and siners apear Wherefore let them â—hat suffer accordiâ—g to the will of God commit the keeping of their Souls to him in well doing as unâ—o a faithful Creator through grace I desire to pitch my Soul â—n everlasting faithfullnâ—ss by which I trust I shall be kept in even walking in his own paths be they never so rugged yet if I meet my Lord I shall do well his gratious presence makes every condition sweet and though this poor piâ—gramage represents nothing but thorns aâ—d bryers it will be recompensed with an eternity of glory A place where no sorrow shall be known but fulness of joy add pleasure and the compâ—eat injoyment of thy Lord for ever therefore O Lord into thy gratious care I do commit my self my Soul and spirit Lord fit me for thy will and let me only fear thy righteous judgements and be sound trembling at thy word so shall I be kept faithfull unto the end Sparks of Divine Love Love is a heavenly fire fetcht from above Irradiant beams shot from the God of Love Unâ—er those blessed shines my Soul abide Let all thy paces there be multiply'd In firength and beauty there to rest secure Through Love divine which ever shall indure Hast thou dear Lord such great things done for me And shall I not give up my heart to thee â—oo poor a thing yet Lord since 't is my All O take it Lord though it be poor and small O take it Lord by purchase it is thine Let me not any longer call it mine Nor set it on poor fond things here below Which vainly are but actors of a show Or feigâ—'d objects painted ore delights Appear a little and pass from our sights Vain shadows of a poor short Sunny day While â—e peruse them quickly fly away A praising Soul Lord shall a heaven born Soul forget to sing Eternal praises to her Lord and King Shall she be one that seemeth not to know The hand from which her mercies still do flow O quicken Lord thy servant O that she May have her life all praises unto thee O t is a life of praises thou wouldst have Thy poor redeemed ones return to thee Give Lord what thou art pleased from them to crave Of thy own store what thou acceptest must be Then my dear Lord I shall not cease to sing The Song of Canaan unto Israels King Though in a Land so far and strange I be As destitute of what I would injoy Let me by faith my Native Country see And not forsake my treasure for a toy O blessed be thy name which still doth keep My droâ—sie soul which else would ever sleep And loose its glorious comforts sweet delights Which in the presence of its Lord is found Those Heavenly Glories and transcendant sights In which to empty souls Grace doth aboundi O glorious Grace let my soul still admire And warm it self at this blest Heavenly fire O shall I grieve that glorious spirit which Is pleased to bow and condescend so low Thus to a poor unworthy sinful wretch How is it Lord that I thy Grace should know And that thou shouldest be pleased to look on me So as redeem me from such misery A hymne of free grace What shall I do my soul shall I then speak Or shall I let my heart through silence break Should I be dumb then sure stones would cry Me shame and magnifie the Lord on high Who doth his riches wonderful bestow On such pâ—oâ— wormâ— as crawleth here below But now to praise him would I fain begin Who is my God my Lord and eke my King Who in his goodness hath done more for me Then can with admiration spoken be O though I would I want both power and art For to express what lâ—es within my heart But since it is the heart Lord thou wouldest have Acceptance is the thing I only crave Receive it Lord O that I could aspire Into thy aâ—ms which is my Souls desire On wings of faith and Soaring acts of Love Oh in the Clefts behold me as thy Dove My sweetest Lord help me to sing thy praâ—se And tell the world the wonders of thy grace Shall I be dumb and live henceforth as one To whom such favor never had been shown Then were I sure unworthy ere to live But Lord what 's wanting thou canst quickâ—y give Both tongue and heart that daily I may bring Of sweetest Odour my poor offering Let my soul bless the Lord with all delight Of thy glory have a daily sight Goodness and mercy that do so excel O in its fillings my Soul still dwell The ocean of his love so sweet and pure Which shall to all eternity indure What greater good unto my soul can bring Then singing praises to my Lord and King Lord take and keep me there why shall we part T is thy own hand must hold my feeble heart A short dialogue between flesh and spirit Flesh Fond foul what â—ileth thee thus low to deem Our pleasure and our comforts here below And that thou dost so highly them estâ—em As if thou didst not care such things to know Is it not better mirth for to injoy Which maketh fat the bones and glads the heart Then in thy musings thus thy self annoy At last perswaded he with them to part Spirit Fond fleshly part this all thou hast to say Cease now with all spetious flattering speech And never think by all thy pleas to sway A soul that now is got above thy reach All thy suggestions I cannot approve Seeing in earth thy comforts all do lye But I much live in flames of heavenly love With heavenly comforts which will never dye What are your pleasures that you count so great But very froths and bubbles in the wind What can they do for you at mercies seat Or can you true contentment in them find Indeed your fleshly eâ—es cannot behold These Jewels of most rich and glorious worth That pearl of price that City of pure Gold And therefore think to set yeur pleasures forth Poor Soul alass why dost thou cavil so My comforts come from a far greater spring Then are the puffs of mirth which you would know Whilst I desire the love of Christ my
for a little very little season â—anity emptyness a bubble a pleasant â—ream to such a rich solid satisfying durable glorious enjoyment of Jesus Christ while hâ—re as but a tast of the glory shall be revealed Those vain pleasures of Youth must issue in sorrow and deep repentance and bitterness of Soul if ever pardoned and saved but the pleasure of knowing having being in Christ Jesus and the delightful fellowship of the Saints have with him issues a blâ—ssed cheaâ—fulness and joy in God without fear of Repentance unless it be that we have no more of Christ in us and that we sin against such Love and Grace so freely revealed to us Oh how happy are younger Men and Maidens as the Psalmist speaks 148 Psal that begin to fear the Lord from their youth to seek early after Jesus Christ for the Lord to see their Faces before the throne and to hear their sighs and cryes after him for Christ the Spirit saving grace power against all sin to take up a Cross and choose ye affliction and reproach of the Lords people before the vanity's Pride of Life and Fading Glory of this world this oh this is happiness soul-happiness everlasting happiness riâ—hes honour peace blessing which none can take away Especially in an Age of the great corruption of youth when Religion is made a by-word and a scorn when many hardned and blaspheme when so Few of the youth of noble and generous familyes Fall in with serious Godliness sobriety but serving divers lusts and plâ—asures to all excess of Riot to the debasing of their Spirits in a degenerateness from true Nobility and generousness of Spirit which is in knowledge good learning true wisdom and piety as fitting them to serve God and their Generation Oh in the midst of such impiety's how beautiful how honourable how pleasing to the Holy God for any younger persons especiall such as pretend to a generous mind and education such as are in Family's where excess prophaneness abounds or the Sons and Daughters of Godly Parents to betake your selves to seek and know and fear serve the great blessed God betimes to be an example and a blessing to secure Christ and holiness and heaven to walk in the truly noble delightful pretious ways which this peice and she that lived it holds forth unto thee In order hereunto how should the Soul of Parents unless they will be Soul Murtherers to their Children be in travail for grace and Conversion for their Children and not think it enough to get them Estates honours and great things in this Life and leave them and it under a curse that all sorts of Parents not only give them liberty but incourage them to Godliness to pray and read the Scriptures and attend upon powerful means of grace to tremble at sin to dispose of them in the world in order hereunto as this blessed Soul acknowledgeth the good use of Parents reproof and instructions unto her 1. In this peice you have first an account of her Conversion and calling how the Lord gradually carried on her first convictions her daily diligence in prayer and the word when a child the discoveryes she had of the Free grace of the Gospel of the Mistery of Christ of Righteousness by Faith of being in Christ of the love oâ— God and Fâ—llowship with him of which she gives an exact and distinct account discovering the choice and spiritual understanding she had in the Mistery of the Gospel not taking up only from sin to duty when Christ and grace little understood as it may be feared many do nor yet turning grace into wantonness but under the constraints of the choice discoveryes of Free and glorious Grace and the loves of God in the admirement and adoration of which she lived to attend to most intimate Communion with him the breathings and parting 's of her Soul as you will see still running out afrer more injoyment of and likeness to her deaâ— Lord Jesus and exactest holiness bemoaning her self wherein she fell short 2. Next you will meet witk her longing after the reâ—l Communion of Saints which all profess to believe in the Creed but will not bear the practice of in the pure ordinances of the Gospel in a con Congregational Chuch so called which when she enjoyed she expressed those blessed delights she had in Fellowship with the Lord Jesus the kisses of his Lips she there met with his blessed Ordinances and establishment of soul in peace and joy in believing 3. You have a choice discourse of Wisdom the true Heavenly Wisdom which her Soul diligently sought after and found which was more pretious to her then Rubies and all the things that are not to be compared to it the rich experience whereof she commends to the World in the debasement of all fleshly Wisdom iâ— comparison of it Especially to her dear Relations in the flesh which is the next particular in this discourse to whose acceptance she commends it with such bowels and gratioâ— affection and sweetness of Spirit such powerfâ—l convincing motives and from what of Heaven her own Soul hath tasted as might become one very skilful in the word of Righteousness to whose serioâ— perusal with the blessing of God I would commend it as that which may lead you into the path of Life helpt on by the singular example of her Life in her Holy sweet acceptable conversation towards you which I hope you are convinced did arise from a divine principle of Grace so to fill up every Relation to you longing after all your Eternal Salvation in Christ Jesus oh may all of you be ingaged not only to read but to beg of God the same Spirit of Wisdom and grace that was found in her to walk in the same steps and wayes Heaven ward that this be not a witness against any of you at the great day of Jesus Christ 4. The next part is as she stiles it the mistery of Godliness namely of the mistery of God in Christ the grace and love of â—â—e Father revealed by hâ—m in which I may take libâ—rty to say is as much of the Misteâ—y of the Gospel discoveâ—ed as usuaâ—ly I have met with in so little a Room especially as to living in a delightful fellowship therewith which was her great business till taken up unto him 5. The rest consists of occasional Meditations choice experiences ravishments of Divine Love admirations of grace holy praises sweet supports under tryals with the account she used to take of her self of hearing the word and the preparation of her soul thereto in those pretious longings of her Soul to meet with her dear Lord in Ordinances and the high value she put upon Communion of Saints in a Church of Christ of which there is but Room for the giving out of some tastes in this little Treatise Lastly her Meditations of death which the spirit of Christ was preparing her for in her time of health whereby death was made familiar to her
away my distemper and so heal mâ— that I have through his mercy never since been troubled with it I fell under some other tryal but the Lord was pleased to inlarge my heart to lay open my case before him and in mercy caused me to see that he did not dispise my poor supplications but was gratiously pleased to sweeten my troubles and by this to comfort me in that they carried me nearer to the Lord sometimes he was pleased to mittigate them but mostly gave me strength to go through them and patiently to bear them thus was the Lord pleased to exercise his loving kindness and tender compassions to my poor soul carrying of it as a Lamb in his Arms But oh why was my heart so dead that I was so long contented in a state of Ignorance and not more desirous to come to the knowledge of his ways but thou O Lord art good and thy ways past finding out thy tender compassions never fails those whose hearts are upright before thee O blessed is the Soul to whom thou impuâ—est no sin for certainly O Lord shouldst thou have been so just aâ— to mark what was done amiss O Lord my sins my corruptions my daily actings besides that guilt of original sin brought into the world with me was enough to have sunk me into the bottomless pit for ever I could not see the need I had of my troubles nor the end for which they were sent but blessâ—d be thy Name O Lord who in thy righteousness and goodness and tender mercy didâ—â— afflict me thou mightest have spared thy pains and have bestowed those sweet discoveries of thy love on such who would have better improved it and have let me perish to all Eternity Oh how is my soul bound for ever to extol the riches of thy grace now I have seen his glory I abhor my self in dust and ashes oh how unworthy am I to appear before â—â—ee but blessed be thy name who have not left me in despair but in the sight of my unworthiness and the wretchedness of my condition caused me to seâ— that there was hope concerning this matter that thou hadst laid help upon one who was mighty to save About a years time I lived very contentedly and in much ease in my outward conditions but I began to be unmindful of the Lord who had done so much for me O how apt was I to forget the rock of my salvation I began to find these things indifferent to me which before I had prosecured with much Zeal the dishonoring of Gods name by others being so common where I was I did not find my seâ—f so affected as before nor so much troubled at it till the Lord was pleased by new allarums to awâ—ken my drowsiâ—â—oul which was so willing to be lulled a sleâ—p bâ— Satan in a sinful security and by afflictions some outward trouble brought me truly to consider my wayes and to lie low again before the Lord often spreading my condition before him in private who was gratiously pleased once more to look upon me and caused me to see the tenderness of his love towardâ— me Then did I begin to grieve at their dishonouring God by their profane walkings and the Lord was pleased to cause an aw upon my spirit concerning him and his ways I was mighty desirous to receive the Lords Supper but I darâ—d not I wondred at some that made so light a thing of it when I found it to be of much weight upon my spirit I found them in their ways very prophane and cold to any good duty I then began to apply my heart unto the Scriptures desiring the Lord to give me an understanding therein it was much upon my spirit to desire that the Lord would be pleased to open my heart as he did lydia's that so I might attend unto the things that were of God It pleased the Lord my time being expired at â—chool to return me home to my Fathers house Mr Pierce being then Minister the first Sermon I heard from him did much take upon my affections and raise up my desires unto the ways of God preaching from the 4. Cant. 7. 8. Thou art all fair my love there is no spot in thee wherein he opened the beauty of a Soul in Christ and the love the Lord was pleased to honour such a Soul withall this filled me with desires and longings to be such a one but how to attain unto it I did not know then was I full of fears and doubtings and Satan brought into my mind my evil and unworthy walkings under so much of the love of God as I had been partaker of this made my Soul walk heavily under much dispute a long time and when the Lord was pleased to come into my heart by a word at any time which did refresh me it lusted but a little time The Devill would be ready to tell me that was not my part I was too apt to catch at Châ—ldrens bread and think that my own which did not belong to me thus did he follow me a long time robbing me of the comfort of many a sweet Sermon making me waâ—k in such sadness which was taken notice of by my fâ—iends I would fain have related my condition and declared my doubts but could not do it yet in these doubts found some comfort I found my Soul much carried out in love to Christ I could delight to sit alone and meditate on the love of Christ held forth in the Gospel to poor sinners and in the former testimonies of his love wherewith he had followed me in every outward providence my soul would be many times carried out to admire the freeness of his love my soul longed for such a heavenly communion which put me much at the throne of Grace to desire one glimps of his Glory one testimony of â—is love in Christ but Satans suggestion put â—e to a loss in my comfort he would often perswade me I was a Hypocrite and that I was fallen from Grace this was a sad and great burden upon my spirit and I thought my sins was so great I must cry out with Cain my punishment should be greater then I can bear yet was the Lord in his goodness pleased not long to leave me in this condition but to incline my heart more and with much affection to the word remembring the deadness of spirit I had been under There was few I was acquainted with whom I could in the least have any converse with in the whole Town thus did I labour to keep my troubles to my self I remember a senteâ—ce which did something refresh me which was He wâ—ll lead sinâ—ers â—n the right way and the Lord was pâ—eased to come into my heart with this truth I never said unto the â—ouse of Jacoâ— sâ—ek ye me in vain then did I go unto the Lord aâ—d earnestly desire the assistance of his spirit to seek counsel in this matter I sought oveâ— the book of God and begged of
outward appearance to frown upon his peopâ—e it seemed an hour of darkness to me my heart was troubled then was I earnest with the Lord further to â—irect me in the way that he shâ—uld choose and the Lord was pleased to shine in with some Gospel light and cause me to see a vast disproportion between a superstiâ—iouâ— way of worshipping of God and a spiâ—itual sincere way in wâ—ich spiritual Christians serve him then I said O that God would please to bring me into the Fellowship and Communion of his own peopâ—e and if he hath appointed them to suffer Oh that I might be one that he would count worthy to suffer for the name of Christ Oh how dâ—th my Soul desire to bear part in the affliction of Sion much rather then to injoy the mirth and pleasure of an earthâ—y Kingdom then did I cast my self upon the Lord and offer up my Soul to him who knows how to frame it according to his own blessed will then I said Lord hast not thou the â—earts of all creatures in thy hand and hast power to turn them into what frame soever thou pleasest bring mine into a conformity to thy blessed will O do it Lord for thy mercies sake then I made known my desires unto my friend by letter to joyn in society with that congregation whereof my friend was a member For about that time the Minister of the Parish intending to give the Sacrament preached a preparatory Sermon from 1 Cor. 11. 27 28 29. v. Shewing the sweet nature of that blessed ordinance the danger of unworthy râ—ceiveâ—s and how a Christian ought to be qualified before partaking thereof at the hearing of which I was awakened and the Lord was pleased to come in with sweet comfort and refreshments considering thâ— blessed provisiâ—n God had gratiously made for those that prepared to meeâ— him therein but I was troubled when I considered that very few or none of his Communicants were so quallified to appearance which was my great burden for I longed much to pertake of that ordinance but dared not to do it in that manner and with such persons None could I use freedom with in this matter but those who I feared would make my trouble greater but thou O God who art ever ready to help in time of neeed thou the wise counsellor wilt not be far from the Soul that truly seeks thee then I called upon the Lord who was gratiously pleased to grant an ear to my request and through the help of my friend to bâ—ing to remembrance 1 Cor. 10 16. 17. v. by which I was much establishâ—d but more when I saw the number of his Communicants whom he had examined and accepâ—ed such as was very bâ—ind igâ—orant formaâ— creatures then I came to a resolution through the bâ—essing of God to wait with patience till he should see good to open away wherein I mâ—ght injoy such ordinances in power and purity and so as I might expect Gods presence and blessing which at last he was gratiouslâ— pleased to do making that my friend an inâ—trument thereof Oh let my heart be more carried out to God with praises and put a new Song into my mouth make it my work to glory that thy great name since thou art thus pleased to own me in thy dear Son Of Recording her Experiences O My Soul thou hast found by sweet experiences how good a thing it is to wait upon the Lord let not the gratious tast of his love slip out of thy remembrance but whilst he hath given thee life improve these mercies and the talent he hath lent thee to his own glory and let the gratious workings of the Lord as he is pleased to honour thee with incomes of his love and the sweet breathings of his holy spirit recount them here in order as the Lord shall give thee leave that they may be upon record against an evil day a day of temptation for how many pretious evidences hast thou lost for want of remembring them but now O Lord help me to deal faithfully with my Soul in declaring thy power and the riches of thy Grace in the daily remembring of thy merciâ—s O cause me to see the growth of my Soul in Grace and in the knowledge of my gratious God that my â—oul may only aim at the Glory of my redâ—â—mer The Lord was thus pleased to carry on his gratious work with much pâ—wer in my poor Soul notwithstanding â—he Devils suggestions many â—earâ— c. As that my condition surely was not yet so good as I did hope it to be and to doubt whether my joy was not meer presumption but the Lord in his goodness was pleased in a little time to clear it more fully to me and cause me to seâ— by the workings of his holy Spiâ—it sweet evidences of his tender love and bâ—ought into my meditation many blessed premises which he was pleased to bless unto my Soâ—l aâ—d confirm unto me with much establishment The Lord being thus pleased by his wise Councel and his tender love thus to guide my unworthy Soul at length bâ— hiâ— gratious providence brought we to the place where the Church met though they were strangers to me yet was he pleased to cause me to find much love and tenderness and there I had that blessed opportunity to receive that sweet refreshing Ordinance which my Soul had so much longed after Blessed be his Holy name O thou my Soul since thou hast seen the gratious deâ—lings of the Lord towards thee be not thou unmindful of his praise Improve thy talent to thy Masters use lay out thy strength for God and let thy heart be carried out for ever to remember the tender and unspeakâ—ble love of thy dear Lord unless thou put thy hand to heâ—p my strength is nothing I am a poâ—r weak nothiâ—g not able to do any thing if thou shouldest once leave me never so little The Choice Discoveries of Christ to her Soul when joyned to a Church in the Lords Supper OH how was the Lord in mercy pleased to manifest his Glory and goodness to thee O my Son in this Ordinance in which he was gratiously pleased by faith to draw thee up to recive those outward elements the bread and wine as presenting the immediate body and blood of the Lord Jesus broken and shed for thy sins O thoâ— unworthy Soul how gratiously was the Lord pleased to come with power raising thee up to praise and admire the exceeding riches of his Grace in choosing thee to be partaker of so great a blessing how was he pleased to fill thee with spiritual joy at thy returning home and give thee leave to come into his presence to return him thanks with joy that he was pleased so gratiously to manifest himself unto thee poor unworthy Soul as a God hearing prayer and answering thy poor request with so much mercy which the Lord inable thee for ever to remember to his Glory thou knowest I desired to do so
even from my Youth and if my deceitful heart deceive me not I dare appeal unto thee for the sincerity of it oh that thou wouldest make me usefull to thee in that way or any way thou shalt be pleased to choose that I might glorifie thy great and holy Name Sweet Discoveries of the Love of God in Jesus Christ Oh how good a God have I who is pleased every day to bear up my Soul with the sweet influâ—nces of his gratious Spirit and pretious incomes of his tender Love O how could I sit and meditate of thy loving kindness all the day long where can I find any comfort in this World but in thy presence there have I Lord indeed through thy Grace found a fulness of Joy a time of endless pleasures O what am I or what is my Fathers House that I should be the daughter to a King that I a worm a poor detestable creature madâ— up with clay and dust nay worse then a worm they being creatures which shall prey upon me for that I am aâ—pointed for their food yet that the Lord of Hosts the Holy One of Israel the High and Mighty God the King of Glory the King of Kings who is a King over the whole Earth should yet be pleased thus to abase himself as to have thoughts of love for such a poor unworthy wâ—etched creature as I am oh how unworthy am I of thy favours yet Lord because thou hast bâ—d me hope in thy mercy I dare do no otherwise nay Lord thou hast commanded me to believe Loâ—d I believe pardon my unbelief that should in any ways cause me in the least to distrust the riches of thy Grace or thy unspeakable goodness which is thy Glory since thou art pleased dear Lord to make a worm the object of thy grace Oh let my Soul injoy these sweet transcendant pleasures which lye discovered to my soul in the rich treasury of thy unbounded love whilst others take their fill of Worldly vanities When I considered the sinfulness of my nature my weaknesses my frailtyes and my many infirmities oh what is there in me should ever cause the Lord to pitty me or yet to continue his favour to me in so â—aspeakable a manner N my Soul bless thou the Lord for Jesus Christ in whom the Lord is pleased richly to look upon thee O happy is the soul that is born up by such a support how wretched had my soul been had not the Lord laid help on one who is mighty hadst not thou had the Lord to be thy Saviour Christ the dear son of God to be thy Redeemer O blessed be the Lord and blessed be my Rock who hath thus looked upon sinful mankind and thus loved the Sons of Men as to give his only dearly beloved Son to dye for such poor miserable wretches as I O the wonderful goodness of God the transcendant and unspeakable riches of his grace in Jesus Christ O my Soul canst thou but be filled with holy admiration at the infiniteness of his Glory the unspeakable and transcendant beauty of thy dear Redeemer this indeed is rich mercy That the Lord should come into the World and give his life a ransome for poor sinners but that thou shouldest be one for whom the Lord was pleased to leave his glory to take upon him the habit of a servant the nature of a sinful man that thou shouldest be one for whom the Lord became himself a curse to redeem thee from the curse that was due to thee and from that which there was no Redemption but through the blood of that pure and spotless Lamb that Christ the Son of God should give himself to dye a shameful death for thee that thou mightest live that thou mightest be partaker of those glorious benefits and gratious priviledges which came by him O my soul that thou should be one to whom such exceeding love is shown O my soul how doth the love of Christ constrain thee to love him O my poor unworthy soul how art thou bound for ever to admire and only aim at and seek the glory of thy dear Redeemer O my dear Redeemer how is my poor unworthy heart carried out to admire thy dear and tender love Lord if to injoy the Communion with thy Saints and people here on earth be such a glorious priviledge which thou hast made my soul to long after O then what is it to injoy Communion with thy Saints and Angels to all Eternity in the presence of my Lord and Saviour What darkness can Eclipse that glory or rather will not that glory quite put out that glory which the World but falsly yeilds what is all the glory of the World or all the Kingdoms of the Earth compared to the apprehention of a Heavenly Kingdom in the soul here much less to the full injoyment of it to all Eternity What is all the glory of the world but poor empty husks poor deceitful vanities a very lie which at the best makes but ashamed but Lord how glorious art thou in the beauties of holiness my Soul hath found enough in thee to fill it with a holy admiration O that I might forever be admiring of thy glory what are the treasures of the earth poor low base things that we should have our hearts so much carried after them What is it the hearts of the World runs out so much after is if there was their greatest happiness Is it not that they may gain abundance of riches and what are they when they are gotten but thorns to put out their own eyeâ— they â—oyl and labour hard in the woâ—ld â—or that which is at best of no induring substance and if they make a shift to keep it whilst they continue here yet at the Grave this the great happiness must leave them O misserabâ—e are they whose chiefest good consists in worldly vanities what is all the treasure upon Earth to that in esteemable Riches which are only to be found in Jesus Christ of how much greater value is that one pearl of great price then all the Pearls and Diamonds aâ—d the richest treasure upon earth Lord fill thou my heart with Heavenly Treasure and let my Soul be rich in grace oh tâ—at iâ— might be such in which I might bring glory to thy Name Meditations upon my Saviours Love HOw excellent a thing is Love how doth it adorn a Christian and comes most near the Image of a loving Saviour never was any love like to his love he loved us not because we first loved him no we were enemies yet even then he loved us and had compassion on us O the riches of divine Love see the sweet indearments of a loving Saviour greater love can no man show then to lay down his life for his friends yea but our dear Lord said down his life for us when we were enemies and from being enemies he is pleased to stile us friends and not only so but behold what manner of love the Father hath
bestowed upon us that we should be called the sons of God and if sons then Heirs of God and Co-heirs with Christ in Eternal Glory O blessed change from enemies to friends from friends to Sons and so heirs with the Lord Jesus of an eternal inheritance O the gratious effect of this transcendant love Now are we Sons of God but yet it doth not appear what we shall be why can greater testimony of love be shown then this to be taken into the number of Gods Children to be counted Sons and Daughters of the Great and Glorious God the Lord of Hosts the High and Mighty King of Kings Oh yes it doth not yet appear what we shall be now we see but darkly as in a Glass but here is mercy this is tender love that when he shall appear who hath so loved us even our dear Redeemer in his Glory we shall be like him for we shall see him as he is our dear Saviour who was content not only to lay down his life for us that we might be partakers with him of his Son-ship and also of the Gâ—ory Oh the transcendant and unspeakable love of God to poor Souls whom the Lord Jesus is pleased out of the rich treasury of his diviâ—e Love to reconcile unto God by the blood of the Cross and what hath the Lord required again of us poor Worms for all his benefits but that we shâ—uld return him love again and this is the love he requires that we should keep his Commandements oh blâ—ssed Lord and thy commandements are not grievous but delightful to the Soul that loves thee and what is thy Commandement dear Lord this is my Commandement and it is a â—ew Commandement that you should love one another my Commandements are not grievous it is only love that is required and that you should manifest it in obedience to my commands one of which is that you love one another but how dear Lord shall we manifest our love to thee in loving one another how hast thou required that we should love one another have not I set you an example Did not I first love you and therefore give you this new Commandement that as I have loved you so you would love one another with a sincere pure unbounded love such a love as seeks not your own things but the good of others such a love as is inward and not in outward show only but in deed and in truth in the sincerity of your hearts such a love as seeks the good and spiritual advantage of one anothers Souls to love one another as I have loved you or to love thy friend as thou lovest thy self most willing to do that which may be for thy friends good although it be to some prejudice to thy self this is love and by this you shall know that you are my Disciples if thus you love one another and by this men shaâ—l know that you are mine such as I have loved from the beginning Oh dear Lord how art thou pleased thus to plead with pooe clods of clâ—y what sweet argument of thine own matchless goodness Art thou pleased to lay down thy life to draw poor sinful Souls to thy self O Lord whom didst thou ever bless with a clear sight of the least glimps of thy most gratious goodness that yet could not love the Lord are not our hearts harder then stone How many is there do profess to love thee but in works deny thee even in this great matter of love even in loving one another Do we not rather back-bite and discover one another where is that tender bearing one anothers burthens Where is that sweet convincing spirit to reprove as should be in Christians how few are to be found but such as fear both to reprove and to be reproved to exhort or to be exhorted in that sâ—nce where is that love which hides a multitude of faults that love that works noâ— thinks ne ill to his neighbour where is that spirit of mourning over one anothers infirmities that spirit of supplication in one anothers behalf Lord where is this Spirit to be found in the measure it ought Sure but in few that do make profession of thy name Lord is there not secret pride lieâ— hidden through Hippocricy in our base deceitful hearts whoever saw the Lord that could not love who Lord hast thou ever brought under the power of thy constraining love that are not willing there to rest but Lord unless thou teachest by thy holy spirit ond give us daily supply from thine own self we can do nothing O Lord we are not able to de one good action without thy especial grace but here lies our fault still we have not power no strength Lord we have not because we aâ—k not Our dear Lord hath said Ask and you shall receive O how largely is he pleased to make promise unto poor worms Whatsoever ye shall ask in my name I will do it and again repeats it And if ye shall ask any thing in my name I will do it is not there a gratious promise from the mouth of him in whose power it is to make it good Is it not from the Lord himself who is the only giver of all good whose word the least tittle of which shall not fall to the Ground O then why are we not more at the throne of Grace since he is pleased in mercy to afford unto us so glorious a priviledgâ— O that my soul may abide seeking of thee that my heart may still more and more be carried out with this sincere love unto thee and thine O suffer me dear Lord once more to say with boldness through thy Grace I will not let thee go until thou herein will bless me This before her Marriage La libre de mon Consalationes la meditationes de mon Coeure Sarah Roane December 1660. My Meditations from that blessed experience the Lord hath been pleased in much mercy through the infinite Riches of his Grace to give my poor unworthy Soul of his unspeakable love in Jesus Christ by the preaching of the word and reading of the Scriptures Meditations of Wisdom in embracing the offer of Jesus Christ VVISDOM is accompanied with a most glorious train of Heavenly beautieâ— exactâ—y formed into a scene which doth present the souls eternal happiness and being united with the soul make it pertaker of her graces she carries ever with her and those that finâ— her shall find with her in esteemable values and things of great price happy therefore is the man that sits knocking at her gates for in her are all the paths of pleasure and the wayes of peace and what can be defired more Pleasure is that the world is most eager after but it is such a pleasure as ends in sorrows these pleasures cannot bring peace to the soul they may satisfie them selves with vain hope and say peace we shall do well but surely sudden destruction shall come upon them there is no peace for such
to his ways and whose soul trembleth at his righteous judgements but to such that wilfully disobey his commands and despise his Laws setting their hearts against God and fight against him by their lusts the language of whose heart is truth God seeth it not God seeth all thy doings ye the very thoughts are not hid from him thou hast thy inventions and gloriest in thy strength know vain man God laughs thee to scorn if God sayâ—s but the word thy devices shall perish and thou shalt be consumed in the fire of his Wrath who wil come rendring vengeance upon such who obey not his word and who can stand before a consuming fire if the thoughts of God be so dreadful to unrepentant sinners here what will it be to such as the day of Judgement when they shall be summoned to appear before the presence of an angry God being only covered with their abominati abominations then shall they call to the 〈…〉 fall upon them and the Mountains to hiâ—e 〈◊〉 from â—he fierce wrath â—â— an angry God who will â—onsume thâ—m with tâ—e breaâ—â— of his nostrilâ— Alâ—s then there is no Mediator for their poor Souls no interceeder shall they see hee who would have been a Saviour to them now their Judge then shaâ—l they look back and consider the pâ—etâ—ous time they have lost the many offers of Grace they have rejected and despired the Spirit of the Lord which would havâ— led and instructed them in the way which leads to eternal happiness But now 't is too late the time of grace is gone the day is past Christ knocked at the door of thy heart but thou wouldst not he has proffered grace and mercy but thou rejectedst it and wouldst have none of it Christ has word and intreated and waited that he might be gratious yet thou hast been deaf and blind and hardued thy heart against him who pitriâ—d thee and would Have brought thâ—e out by 〈◊〉 intreaâ—ies of the way thou hast run headlong into to thy own destruction but thy heart was filled with vaniâ—ies at best which now thou hast found to be but shadows and thine ears were stoped and so taken up with thy lusts and pleasures that thou couldest give no ear to the intreaties of a Christ nor the kind invitations of a blessed Saviour who has called upon you to come and buy without mony or prise only with the loss of your lusts justly may it be said that thy destruction is of thy self that thou haâ—t willfully and willingly â—un thy self headlong into that gulf of horâ—â—r and eternal misery O Souls consider whom you do dispise what dulness is it thus posseseth you to reject the Lord of life whoâ—e service is so pretious who is all love sweâ—tnâ—sâ— and the only thing to be desirâ—d what is there to be desired that is not to be found in him who is all fulness out of whose fulness his own receive evâ—n grace for grace and what can we se in our minds to be more plesant to us then that which is but full and lovely what beauty can be like this beautâ— what glory can be equal to thiâ—e what is there can be compared unto thee O my Lord thou art all togather lovely who do you despise O see how wretchedly rather naturally dost thou sit upon a dunghill and feed upon husks rather rhen feed at the banquet of fat things feasted at the Kings banquet that had rather be bondslaves to Sin and Satan which brings nothing but shame and confusion both to Soul and body then to be freemen of Jesus Christ by whom comes life salvaâ—ion and eternall hapyness what thing is there in rhe world is so requisite and so needful that we should be thus blinded from beholding the necesity and the need we have of a crucified Christ what things is there in the world so glorious and so beautyful that should take our hearts off from those heavenly objects those celestial beauties those beams of gâ—ory that are set at the right hand of God O then be no longer fooles but wise redeeming the time get wisdome which is of so glorious a nature as to bring you to the true knowledge of God who calls upon you saying Blessed are they which attain to this Wisdom and lay it up in their hearts in so doing they shall find riches and honour proffit and pleasure and that of a higher Nature then any the world can produce and with all that blessed peace of conscience which brings the Soul to joy eternal what are the riches and the honours of the world richeâ— take wings thy are but a little dust things which God in an ordinary way of providence gives to the wicked whâ—n he has denyed them to the dearest of his Children aye and they are the wickeds portion therefore grudge it them not for they are their good things in this life but thine are laid up in the bosome of the Fathers love theirs shall be but for a time but thine for eternity besides they that have most of them have them not without their trouble they are empty having no substance nor realâ—ity in them but shadows Which by a fair shew delude the Soul and draw it in to a snare these are the things the world is so eagar after which being gained the value of them would not counter vaile the loss of the least smile of God how much better is it to gain Christ though with the loss of the world and allworldly injoyments then to gain the world with the loss of Christ So likewise honeurs they shall all fall and come to nothing keep it as long as thou canst which will be but as long as thou livest it is but for a moment and there be many thing may combine together to cut it short even in the midst of that moment but say thy henor should carry thee to the Grave it will leave thee there it will not carry thee to Heaven the wise and the honourable dyeth as doth the fool the poorest man that is can claim so much ground as to bury them in and thou canst do no more of earth thou wast made and to earth thou shall return there is nothing more sure then what is honour worthy worldly honour What â—ools are we when at the best it is but vanity and most that are in honour perish as doe the beasts happy is the man a fâ—om â—he Lord the Kiâ—g of Kings will honour with hâ—s grace holy Image surely the best Robe is put upon him evâ—n the Robe of Châ—ists Righteousness the White Robe of his inocencâ— the Ring shall be put upon his finger and he shall be more glorious and honourable then the Kings of the earth you 'l say 't is honour to a man to have the King his friend much more honourable it is then when the King is his Father and if this be honour to be a friend or child to an earthly Prince of how much greater honour is it to
Grace hath experienced and that alone hath put me upon this according to the measure wherewith the Lord hath inabled me to desire the good and eternal welfare of the Souls of my dear Brothers and Sisters and as we are all one in flesh and blood oh that it were the will of the Lord that we might be all of one and the same spirit sanctified by faith through the blood of Jesus Christ and it may be as I hope it will a Sisters counsel which hath experimentally tasted the wonderful goodness of God may work yet more upon you through the operation of his good spirit therefore suffered me to say it is good to seek the Lord whilst he may be found to call upon him whilst be is near Oh that I could perswade you to lay hold on time whilst the day lasteth not to resist the tenders of Grace when they be offered to you least they be hid from your eyes it is only the infinite wisdom goodness and mercy of God which only causeth him to look upon such sad wretched rebellious creatures as we are who could of stones raise up Children to praise him he hath no need of us nor our services but the need we had of a Saviour hath caused him to look upon us when no eye pittâ—ed us and in his infinite wisdom found ouâ— a means of deliverance even the dear son of his love whom he hath given to be broken bruised suffer death and become a curse for poor sinners that he might redeem them from the curse of the Law but this priviledge doth not belong to all sinners in general but to such who by a lively faith lay hold upon this crucified Christ else they who are sinners will be sinners still they shall dye in their sins and the wrath of God will be upon them to all Eternity great is the misery of a Christless and gracâ—less soul being an enemy to God then how can God be otherwise then an enemy to it Oh how can a soul rest in such a condition as this what peace can they have Doth it not then behove every soul to be earnest in searc hing to find out the true estate of his soul knowing for a truth they being the words of our Saviour that unless a man be born again he cannot enter into the Kingdom of Heaven till they are regenerated become new creatures in Christ putting off the old man with his deeds and putting on the new man which is after the spirit in righteousness and true â—oliness and this is all to be done by an interest in Christ that so his righteousness may become ours and all those priviledges of grace and mercy which he hath purchased may be imputed to us through the blood of his Cross and so by being in Covenant with the Father through the Son we shall have all things Oh what a blessed state is it to be in Covenant with the great God of Heaven and Earth Oh what a depth of Love iâ— it and how great a comfort is it to a poor soul covered over with a leprosie to see a Phâ—sitian not only able but willing to cure him for a poor lost creature which sees himself undone in himself by reason of the vast guilt and debt which lies upon him the shame which lies upon his soul by reason thereof As not daring to lift up his eyes to heaven when he shall not see only his debts paid but also Christ his advocate pleading with the Father in his behalf oh here lies the Souls true happiness and here is a believers comfort that Christ died not only for sinners but for me a sinner what is this to me or what comfort can it bring me to have a notion as most of the World hath that Christ died for sinners and I am one amongst the rest and therefore I hope to be saved by Christ had I no greater evidence for heaven my condition would surely be ever miserable but blessed be God it is otherwise with me and certainly if it were not my soul would be in a very restless condition oh did but any of you know what it is to be in a state of Grace you would surely see a sweet change you would look over and lament the many pretious hours you have let go in seâ—king after vanity and in the mean while lost so much sweetness and comfort as is to be had in the knowledge of God ways which are the things only delightful having substance and reality and can only proffit the Soul All other things are meer shaddows empty husks which cannoâ— satisfie the Soul these things which appear so pleasing to you now would when bâ— Grace you come to see the evil of them be the objects of your hatred there is nothing so gloriâ—us so sweet and so lovely as is the Lord Jesus he is aâ—together lovely to a gratiouâ— Soul who has tasted of divine goodness and hath been refreshed with the sweet streams of his Love which had you once but tasted you would surely see all earthly injoyments but poor vain things and count them all as nothing yea worse then nothing in comparrison of that hidden treasure that unsearchable riches which is laid up in the Lord Jesus and shall â—e revealed in his Saints oh that the Lord would incline your hearts to consider and weigh these things in your mind which is it better that your bodies should for a moment of time injoy the deceitful pleasures in this World then that your immortal Soulâ—s should injoy those transcendant and certain pleasures which shall never fade those heavenly Mansions of eternal rest which those Souls shall find who are in Christ at the last day and shall live in the presence of their dear redeemer for ever where the Soul shall never find more trouble but be ever praising the Loâ—d and singing HALâ—LE-LUJAHS to the King of Sainâ—â— oh how glorious a time will this be who is it then that would not be content with Balaam to dye the death of the righteous but unless we live the life of the righteous our latter end would not be so if Christ be not in us we are reprobaâ—es we lye under the heavy Wrath of an angry God and as it were dropping into hell every moment there ro receive the just reward of our doings in eternal distruction from which there is no redemption in a Lake which burneth with brimstone and fire and never goeth out is not assurance better then suspence is it not good to have assurance aâ—ways about us that when we shall come to render up our Souls at what timesoever they are required of us we may have nothing to do but resign it unto our fathers bosom Oh presume not in thy own supposed goodness Nothing but Christs blood could purchase Redemption and if by a lively faith thou canst lay hold on him thou shalt be made partaker of Christ and his benefits his righteousness made over to thee Then mayest thou with
But since O Lord it is thy Childrens priveledge not to sin sure t is our duty to be looking up to thee for new supply of strength to be kept daily in thy fear O how blessed is the Soul whom thou shalt keep and â—each out of thy law whom thou shalt feed with the pleasant fruits of Righteousness and cause to rest under thy shaddow with much delight sure here alone is pleasure and everlasting peace to feed with the flocks of Christ and to lye down in those pleasant pastures of eternal comfort where Christ the beloved of thy soul shall preserve thee unto all eternity Of Communion of Saints O my Soul what a mercy is it to go into the presence of the Lord in the Congregation of his people to injoy Communion with thy God in the assembly of his Saints YEt if it be his pleasure by a just cause to keep thee back yet hast thou cause to hless him for ever for Jesus Chrsst that rich mercy that unspeakable goodness for that word wherein he is received unto thee O my soul through the Spirit of that infinite grace here mayest thou sollace thy self in divine Loves and fill thy self with joy hast thou but faith then may thy joy be full in Meditating of his gratious Attributes he is the Lord God All Mighty but if not so to thee what availeth thee couldest not thou say through grace this it my Lord this great God is my Father how miserable would thy condition be to have this God to be thy enemy though thou wert full of what this world could give thee of highest injoyment yet shalt thou be for ever miserable but thy God is a merciful God O it is good for thee that he is so he is a God whose Glory is his Goodness and his goodness is his glory a God who is still the same and changeth not man may be said in all he doth or saith to be but vanity as a thing from himself he being but a finite Creature but who shall gain say the great and everlasting God whose power is in and from himself he is in deed a faithful God a God that keepeth Covenant with those whom he through grace hath taken into Covenant with him self Meditations of the unchangeable Love of God THen O my soul is the Lord unchangeable is he still the same and will be so O then reâ—oyce in the rich mercies of thy everlasting God here is comfort for thee in your assureance of his love unto the end â— have made an everlasting covenant with the house of Jacob and if thou beest of the seed of Jacob this promise sure belongs to thee Jesus Christ in Testates thee in this new covenant who hath once for all offered up himself a Sacrifice the everlasting satisfaction of divine justice for those whom by the Lords gratious determinate will should have an intrest in this rich redemption O rich indâ—ed being purchased not with corruptable things but with the pretions blood of Jesus Christ that lamb of God without spot or blemish t is want of faith poor soul makes thee doubâ—ful though thou manifest as to thy self condemn thy self as one unworthy to hope for the least mercy much less to believe such rich priviledges belong to thee yet considering my soul for to thee I write thou art commanded to believe and without faith it is impossible to please God and the Lord is thus wonderfully pleased in the great condescention of his gratious Love to take it as a glory done to him from a poor creature though the good of believeing is to us the glory of the act unto the Lord who gives the power to any poor creature to believe so to believe as to see so great a Salvation in so believeing how can the soul but stand in admirations and glorifie the riches of that grace which caused the great IEHOVAH to look upon so poor a worm with such a Love Behold with what manner of Love the Father hath loved us that we even we might become the children of God heirs with and in Christ Jesus of an eternal inheritance incorruptable and full of glory and that thou mayest be filled with joy in these thy sweetest contemplations has not the Lord then pleased sometimes to evidence his gratious love to thee in Christ Jesus and therein seek thee by his gratious word with that holy Spirit of promise to be thy God and Father O he is the same God still and if he loved thee it was with an everlasting Love if he hath taken thee into covenant with himself it was to be thy Gâ—d for ever hast thou hâ—d this saving grace made sure to thee fear not but that the Lord not onely can but will preserve his own he wiâ—l assâ—â—edly fuâ—fill and â—erefect that good work he hath begun in thee was one drop of Christs Blood â—â—â—d in vainâ— was it not of power sufficient to accomplish the end for which it was shed even the bringing many Sons to glory surely the Lord shall not come short of what he hath designed the Divil may strive to pluck thee from thy God but remember that gâ—atuus â—ord of thy redeemer unto his Sheep that hear his blessed voice and follow him I give unto the eternal life and they shall never perisâ— whom the Lord hath owned neither shall any man pluck them out of mâ— hands O what a gratious priviledge is here thus to be kept by an Almighty power the power of that great God out of whose hand no man nay Satan nor any of his Instruments can ever be able to pluck thee Christ hath purchased an everlasting redempâ—ion and to those who are in him there is no condemnation O blessed and for ever blessed be the Lord for this sweet truth and fâ—r the evidâ—ncing of it in some measure to my poor unworthy soul O how good a God is our God who hath not onely stored up such rich mercies for poor worthless ones but is also please to leave it on record and wills that his poor creatures should be made happy in the knowâ—edge of this their eternal happiness O then my soul take comfort in those bleeding wounds of thy sweet Saviour yet be thou humbled for it was thy sins that pierced his tender side he knew no sin yet for thy sake became sin to bear thy punishments thou wast his enemy yet he could dye for thee to reconcile thee to himself when thou wast in thy blood a loathsome creature then pitty moved him to shew compassion to thee that thou might live he loves thee first that thou shouldest then Love him t is not thy flesh makes thee accepted but thy Saviour thou art still a soathsome lump of filthyness but by that comliness which Christ hath put upon thee thou art accepted through an intrest in him thou shalt be beautiful in the sight of thy Lord and Father this is O soul thy priviledge renew thy intrest by thy daily approach and acting faith
upon those glorious objects let Christ be all in all to thee that thou having nothing in thy self might see thy ALL in him and fetch thine ALL from him O blessed be that fountain in whom all fullness yea everlasting fulness dwells Meditations on the 11th Ch. of Matthew verse 28 29 30. See here O Soul the pretious invitations of a glorious Christ Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest c. WHo is it the Lord invites is it not poor distressed sinners O it is such he calls to tast his mercies loe every one that thirsteth come and come freely these tenders of my Love these are the tenders of Love the Soul satisfying comforts come unto me bring hither thy wearied soul though laden with iniquities I will give thee rest cast thy burthen upon me O merciful Redeemer that art thus pleased for the good of man to bear the burthen of our sins those loads of Iniquities which we should have sunk under in wrath to all Erernity But since the Lord hath in his wisdom in his goodness in the abundant riches of his Grace been pleased to be the sinners friend O let it be of great use unto my soul who am the greatest of sinners 't is thou who seest my wearyed tired Soul O blessed be thy holy Name for the riches of this grace thy unspeakable Love that wilt not despise the poorest nor unworthy soul that neeâ—s thy help although they cannot crave it nor dare not lift up their eyes unto the Throne of thy Grace yet wilt thou be gratious unto whom thou wilt be gratious and because thy tender compâ—ssions fail not therefore thou art pleased to have mercy upon me a poor wretched creature ah to thy name be glory and let my soul dear Lord for ever live thy praise for thou alone canst work that frame upon my heart that only pleaseth thee O 't is into thy gratious hands I would commit my soul work in it Lord thy will since I am thine through grace O let me live no longer to my self for thou art my strength by which work O Lord in me such a child like frame of spirit as becomes thine to yeild thee in true obedience with holy fear O let the Image of my Lord be formed in me that so in his light I may see light that I may be filled with joy and comfort and may have something to suâ—port me in an evil day a day of tryal and temptation My soul O meditate upon the unbounded love of God in Christ thy Lord and the Lord in the abundant riches of his Grace in abâ—e thee with a sincere heart and sound judgement to apply these sweet soul experienced comforts and relishes of Love wherewith thou hast through grace been comforted often and since prayer and Meditations is the way to make safe the soul when Satan with his subtle Engines seeks to batter Lord let him not prevail but let thy grace be now sufficient for me and now my soul tast here feed upon the sweetness of this call Come unto me it may be thou hast said thy sins are many and thou darest not come an but consider who it is that calls thee is it not Christ thy Lord yet he commands thee because thy sins are many and thou art troubled with the weight of them therefore come leave not thy sins behind thee for that thou canst not do but bring them to the feet of Christ thy Saviour he in his grace will ease the burthen wherewith thy soul was laden and give thee a blessed exchange even his own righteousness imputed to thee so hast thou found a righteousness in him made thine by which being cloathed thou hast access unto the Throne of Grace and shalt find favour with thy God yea the Lord will be thine everlasting Righteousness and though thou art polluted and defiled with sin and corruption yet in Righteousness were thou called and Christ will cloath thy naked Soul with his Righteousness a garment without spot or blemish O come and come daily at his call give no time to Satan to cast it in thy Teeth that thou shalt one day perish through the mulâ—itude of thine iniquities for Christ is mighty and of power to save unto the utmost and though thou canst see nothing in thy self but that which might bring eternal wrath upon thy head every moment yet here is thy comfort in that he hath accepted thee in the beloved for whose sake he can deny thee nothing and therefore O Lord to thee be Glory for ever who in thy love and tender compassion to my poor Soul hast delivered it from the pit of corruption For thou hast cast all my sins behind thy back O that my Soul made living by thy Grace might ever praise thee who is it calls me O my Soul behold the Lamb of God made Man to take away the sins of the World Christ Jesus the eternal Son of God dis-throned himself to be a Saviour of poor sinful Man lost and undone Man for whom there was no way of Redemption but by him and by him alone O here is love indeed Behold I come says he to do thy will O God he was willing to come from heaven to earth from Glory to be cloathed with flesh the garment of sinful man and all that thou mayest be cloathed with Glory immortality eternal life Behold O my Soul be filled with holy admiration with what manner of Love the father hath loved us that so we should we sinners be called the Children of the great and Holy God a God who inhabitest eternity whose dwelling is in the highest heavens who is the King of Glory and being come to call poor sinners co repentance through the eternal wisdom of the father perfected redemption by taking our natures upon him he who knew no sin became sin for us that we should be made in him partakers of the Righteousness which is by faith in his blood he hath paid thy debts and cancelled thy bonds he is become thy surety and has broken down that pertition wall which was between thee and thy fathers Glory hath made a way that new and living way through his own blood to approach the Throne of Grace and is there now making intercession for thee O blessed is that Soul whose iniquities thou hast covered and whose sin thou hast pardoned and blessed be that Soul to whom thou in grace shalâ— be pleased to impute no sin for how great O Lord are our dayly sinnings against thee the least of which were enough to separate this poor immortal Soul of mine for ever from thy gratious presence but 't is thy grace which makes thy unworthy creature hope and the unchangeableness of thy most glorious will O therefore it is such poor unworthy sinful creatures were not long ago consumed O blessed be God for thy grace and thy long suffering mercy whereby thou bearest and hast pitty on thy poor redeemed
only know but sollace my self in the fountain of this Eternal comfort did it not please the father out of infinite love and pitty to poor lost and undone wretcâ—es to find out a way for their Redemption not by the blood of Bulls and Goats whereby a yearly atonement was Typically made for the appeasing of his Wrath no but a full and satisfactory Redemption by the pretious blood of Jesus Christ as of a Lamb without blemish now what was this Lamb but a divine brance of Glory equal with the Father the dear son of his Love for whom it was his gratious pleasure to provide a body for a sacrifice that thereby poor man who had lost himself by disobedience in a sinful body of death might in the obedience of Jesus Christ in his body and blood and through his merrits find everlasting life such was the love and pitty of the great and holy God there being no other way for our restoration but to part with the dearly beloved of his soul and to bring him under his severest anger â—â— he paid to Justice the ulmost farthing and such was the gratious pleasure of our dear Redeemer who was content it shou'd be so Loâ—◠〈◊〉 to â—â— thy will O God O matchless goodnâ—ss methinks I sâ—e thâ— heart and affection of my dear Redeemer in this work putting the father in mind of his determinate will sacrifice and burnt offerings thou wouldest noâ— but a body hast thou prepared or fitted me then said I loe I come In the volumn of this look is is written of me to do thy will O God in sacrifices and burnt offerings for sin thou hadst no pleasure but Lord thou hast spoken of me and fitted me for the full and compleat satisfaction to â—hy Justice and here I am loe I come to do thy will O my God I am ready to give my self a ransome for the good of poor Souls Poor Soul see what matter here is then of comfort in the application of this great transcendent love unto thy self it was not thy desents but his great mercy made him own thee O this constraining love let it work more upon thy heart to draw thy will to his he came to do and was obedient to his fathers will for thee and wilt thou not be subject unto him that hath done so much for thee Now the work for which Jesus Christ came into the world was to save sinners such as by faith lay hold upon him for Eternal life God was pleased to make man in his first Creation in a perfect state of Innocency gave him power in his own hands either to stand or fall but poor man that would be wise yea wiser then God himself soon lost hiâ— happiness for one poor temptation So having broken the Law lies liable to the curse of it to all eternity it being my possible that a finite creature should ever be able to make restitution to an infinite God by keeping that Law that Righteous law that pure law which in one very thought is broken the Lord therefore seeing the sad condition of poor fallen man being under the curse of the Law and wholly unable to make the least satisfaction to Divine Justice was infinitely pleased in Grace and Meâ—cy to look with pitty on them and to find out this way the only way for their deliverance so he was pleased to lay help upon one that was mighty and infinitely able to save unto the utmost those that come unto him Christ then by his sufferings and obedience hath finished the work his Father gave him to do hâ— hath paid the uttermost farthing his Fathers Justice can demand he hath answered the Law in taking upon himself the curse of the law so that he was made not only sin for us but the curse also but Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the Law in being made a curse for us Gal. 3. 13. v. Thus hath the Lord Jesus Christ regained Eternal Life which man had lost and to him hath the Father given this eternal life Even unto the Son whom he hath made heir of all things and it is by having a propriety in Christ this life is to be had 't is he that hath the son hath life this life eternal and he that hath not the son hath not life 1 Joh. 5. 12. v. Of the excellency of the knowledge of the mistery of Christ O What wonderful sweetness is there in this knowledge what Divine excellency is in it what does this import to me unless I know him to be mine this is the knowledge of him which brings eternal life when I can through grace have the witness of this in my Soul and that the father hath been pleased in his infinite grace to give me unto Christ as one for whom he hath shed his blood and taken into Covenant with himself Poor Soul whaâ— a mercy is it to come to the knowledge of what the Lord Jesus is and what he hath done for poor sinful Man this little comforteth till thou knowest what he hath done for thee it is the particular application of it to thy self that makes thee happy since thou art one whom he is pleased in infinite grace and mercy to make choice of and thus to set his Soul upon thee Thou mightest have heard of Christ yet have perished to all eternity it would have been smal comfort for thee when in a storm ready to be beaten in pieces with the waves though thou didst see a ship afar off saiâ—ing from thee what good would the â—ight of that do thee but it is those whom the Lord is pleased to take shut into the Ark Christ Jesus that are secure that are preserved from the storms tempests even unto eternal life O live still in his favour by paying thy vows to thy dear Redeemer grieve not the holy spirit of his Grace by which he hath thee unto the day of Redemption O consider him not only given of the Lord as Priest but also as King Prophet the Lord give thee a heart to own him in his Kingly Office and help thee by meditation to apply thy Soul in faith unto his soveraign power and hath the Lord redeemed thee poor Soul look up and see thy happiness thy debt is paid and thou art set at liberty God injoyed in mercies HOw sweet and comfortable is it to sit at mercies Gate and be fed by the bountiful hand of Graces Charity those who are full of imployments bless themselves in abundant of what they possess forgetting the God of mercies from whence they slow but those who receive their mercies daily from the Lord they are truly sweet to that Soul that sees how its whole life depends on mercy and every thing it hath or can in joy comes all from mercy this is sweet to it and the soul thus sensible of mercy will be serious in praises Then Lord if mercies be so sweet let me beg mercies still Oh let the Channels of
thy Love run free my Soul to fill Oh leâ— the bounty of thy Love each day my Soul secure And let dear Lord thy mercies sweet to me poor worm indure So shall I tast with much delight thy blessings which are sure In them O Lord would I rejoyce as coming from the hand Of my dear Lord and Soveraign who doth all things command Let not the fulness fill my heart with pleasure and delight And take away my serious thoughts from praising thee aright O rather let me be in want then filled with loathsome Pride That will the Soul securely blind and sweetned mercies hide O let it be thy mercies still that I through grace may sing A song of praise to my Lord from whence all mercies spring Of self insufficiency HOw apt is the foolish heart of man to be puffed up with strong conceits of its own abilities and think it self something when indeed it is nothing O a monstrous piece of deceit therefore the Lord in his infinite wisdom suffers Souls to wander a little and so discovers the hearts deceitfulness that so poor creatures might go more out of themselves and see their own in abilities to any good and that they have nothing to depend on but the sure mercies of Iesus Christ have I not said with David surely I shall never be mâ—ved these sweet experiences of mercy and constraining love hath so ingaged my Soul to walk uprightly before God but I see there is no strength in me nor am I able to do any thing without fresh supplies of strengthning grace from thee therefore dear father be not far from helping thy poor worm that cries for succour from thee shall I ever give the reigns of my heart to run after the foolish pleasures of the world No not in the least there is a snare and Satan lurking to deceive therefore O Soul be watchful and dispise them all as things unworthy of thy love why they are vain and foolish but increase thou still after that greater good that Souls enamouring sweetness consisting in eternal pleasuâ—es in the most glorious Mansions of heaven where are celestial treasures and transcendant comforts Lord keep my heart from fooiish vanity And let my Soul feed ever upon thee O let my joys and comforts once again Quicken my Soul and there through grace remain O let the glory of thy grace appear To joy my Soul and to suppress my fear In sight of pretious Christ my Saviour dear Then shall I never have more cause of fear Yet t is too great a priviledge for me I have deserved naught but shame from thee Shouldest thou be just â—o mark what is amisâ— There 's nothing Lord of good dwells in my flesh T is at thy gratious footstool I woud lye To plead for mercy without which I dye Of Worldly Honour HOw poor a thing is worldly honour yet how it is hunted as if that were the chiefeli good as if the only way to make them happy were to have respect and honour from this foolish vain World poor Soul why are we so deceived with vain shadows whilst letting go the substance that Soul is truly honourabâ—e which is truly graâ—ious O how much better is it to be blessed with the least smile of Christ then to be made empress of the whole world man being in true honour understandeth not abideth not but is like the beast that perisheth soon forgetting his Maker and from whence he is tâ—ken not willing to remember that he is dust and thither he must â—eturn his heart is taken up with other things how to exceed in state in richness of attire in gallant speeches yea is there not too many who would thing it most honourable to be most vitious O how my Soul bleeds for their desperate blindness O why will you thus rebel and cause the Lord to pour forth the Vials of his Wrath upon your heads who thus prophane that holy and blessed name of the eternal glorious Majesty at whose presence Angels cover their faces and at whose voice the earth shook O what a Monster is sinful man whilst in the state of Nature But now poor Soul go not too far in searching others wayes Keep more at home unvail thy sad deceitful heart thou hast cause enough to lament and sadly bewail thy own miscarriages Is there not still rebelâ—ion harbours in thy breast O too too much many for rebelling against an earthly Prince go not unpunished but from whom dost thou revolt but from thy dear and loving father a tender hearted God who through riches of Grace looked upon thee had mercy on thee and owned thee in his dear Son the Son of his love what punishment mâ—yest thou not be thought worthy of that shouldest grieve the spirit of God who hath abounded thus in love and mercy unto thee Ah wretched soul when he hath hid it from thousands of others Surely had but the Lord been pleased to cause one of the least glimps of Glory to shine upon several of their rejected Souls they had exceeded thee in holiness of life sincerity of heart and all humble obedience they would not have had those daily failâ—ngs thou art attended with had but they tasted of that heavenly banquet that soul inriching treasure which is laid up in an eternity of Glory would they not more thirst and long O could they be satisfied without being swallowed up in Glory without that immediate possession that faith gives Heb. 11. 1. v. Would they see any thing to take delight in in this World below Christ would they not set the Lord ever before them and desire to be ever with him but what art thou and how far comest thou short in every duty but O my Lord in thee is my hope here is my comfort still for what am I without supports and supplies from thee I had fainted long ago hadst not thou by special grace upheld me and given in comforts from thy self Sure Lord it was from free love and thou hast said thy love inâ—ures for ever thou art God and therefore changeth not O therefore it is that I was not consumed long ago and since thy Grace dear Lord is still the same O let my Soul for ever trust in thee till thou shalt please to free me from this body of death in which I cannot serve thee without sin for when I would do good evil is present before me O but blessed be the Lord that there is a deliverance wrought and that by Jesus Christ and that in him I am not left without this blessed hope which being revealed in due time I shall be released and enter into my fathers joy O Heavenly joy indeed where thou shalt be for ever happy in the most glorious presence of thy Lord from whence nothing shall part thee and where thou shalt never sin more but be for ever singing HAL-LELUJAH'S to his holy Glorious Name for this then will I wait but Lord grant me help from us above to run with
King My musing such with which I would not part For all your mirth and pleasant melody Christs dearest love take away my heart In which lies Joy and true felicity Your company wherein you do delight Like to your self are made of earthly moulâ— Which will at length to feast the worms invite Then wheres your pleasures which so dear you holâ— My joys my comforts and my aim shall be To rest in Heaven to all Eternity There 's fellowship with holy Angels bright And Halâ—le-lujahs sing to the King of Kings There 's sweet Communion with the Saints in light When fire consumes your perishing earthly things The Lord feeding and keeping his Flock See how the Lord doth of his Flock take care And plenteously his Love to them doth share Reaching his arm of mercy them to guide And leading them fast by the Rivers side Thore doth them feed in pastures pleasantly And hiding them from Rage o' th enemy Now let thy heart with praises ever sing Even to thy Saviour Shepherd Lord and King Longings to be with Christ Sin sick am I And faâ—n would dye Reaching forth to Eternity I le leave the world with all my heart With it i 'me willing Lord to part To be with thee O Lord its best And in thine arms to be at rest Unto the world I â—ain would dye To live with thee Eternally Sweet Saviour then thou art gone before A place in Heaven to prepare Post Script of her own I know that my Redeemer liveth and that I shall see him with these eyes O that the time would come But I will wait upon the Lord the days of my appointed time till my change come FINIS The Contents 1. THe account of her early conversion 2. Of further discoveries of Christ 3. The longings of her Soul after Church Fellowship 4. Of Recording her experiences 5. The discoveries of Christ to her Soul when joyned to a Church in the Lords Supper 6. Sweet Discoveries of the love of God in Jesus Christ 7. Meditations upon her Saviours love 8. Meditations of Wisdom in imbracing the offer of Jesus Christ 9. Exhortations to her Brothers and Sisters 10. Meditations upon hearing the voice of Christ 11. Of heart examination 12. Meditations of being in Christ 13. Meditations of being the Servant of Christ 14. Of a new Heart 15. Of thirsting after assurance of heaven 16. Meditations of death 17. Of Communion of Saints 18. Meditations of the unchangeable love of God 19. Meditations on the 11th Chap. of Matthew 28 29 and 30. v. 20. Meditations on the great mistery of Godliness 21. Of the excellency of the knowledge of the mistery of Christ 22. God injoyed in mercies 23. Of self insufficiency 24. Of worldly honour 25. Meditations on the power of God God being her Father 26. Her further meditations of death 27. Meditations of a day of Tryal or preparation for sufferings 28. Sparks of Divine Love 29. Apraising Soul 30. Ahymne of free grace 31. A short dialogue between flesh and spirit 32. The Lord feeding and keeping his flock 33. Longings to be with Christ. ERRATA REader your Charity is desired in amending some little faults of the Printer the rest are these In the epistle Page 11. line 15. f. parting 's r. pantings p 15. l. 17. ad which runs f. their r. these p. 1. l. 2. for conversation r. convertion p. 11. l. 20. f. east r. cast p. 15. l. 19 f. this r. his p. 28. l. 6. f. son r. Soul p. 31. f. N. r. O p. 39. l. 9. f. ond read and l. 11. f. de r doc p 47. l. 15. f. truth read tush l. 26. f. as read at p. 49 l. 19 f but read both p. 59. l. 9. f. suffered r. suffer p. 63. l. 11. f. would r. will l. 15. f. ro r. to p. 68. l. 25. f his r. t is p. 79. l. 15. r. bring home p. 88. l. 15. f. received r. revealed p. 89. l. 4. f. it r. is p. 94. l. 10. f. lo r. ho p 103. l. 5. f. your read ours p. 110. l. 14. ad sealed p. 123. l. 15. f. a r and l. 27. ad to p. 131. l. 18. f. him r. bin p. 135. l. 6. f. receive r. rejoyce l. 10. f. any r. my l. 20. ad trial â— 22. f. any r. thy p. 137. l. 1. f. and r. is To be sold at the Black Spread-Eagle at the West End of Pauls
the Lord with tears that he would be pleased to give me a right understanding in what I could not well apprehend so gratious was the Lord at that time to give in answer to my poor request and caused me to find much sweetness and comfort in reading which before I never had found this raised up my heart to praise the Lord for his mercy towards me and gave me much comfort in that I hoped the Lord had not forgotten to be gratious but had in mercy owned himself to be my God hearing prayer and that the poor weak prayer of a wretched miserable creature who was looked upon with the eâ—e of scorn and much dispised this carried up my soul to joy in the Lord with praises to him in which I found much comfort and incouragement then did I in my heart resolve to wait upon the Lord with my poor petitions for strength till he should pâ—ease to give me a clearer evidence of his love and the true knowledge of his wayes which I desired to know above all earthly things tâ—us was the Lord pâ—eased to come in with a gratious iâ—fluence of his holy spirit whereby I received comfort from every â—ermon I â—eard for about 2 Months space But then how was my sinful and deceitful heart puffed up what thoughts did I begin to have of my self how had the Devil changed his notâ— and told my proud heart my state was now good and my graces were much increased for which I ought to be much esteemed how ready I was to do any thing which might secretly make me bethought well of by such as knew it then did I walk as one that was well principled in Religion and a great professâ—r O wicked wretch that after so much love should dare to be so careless as to let Satan steal away my heart yet the goodness of the Lord whose mercies indure for ever would not suffer me to rest in this condition but was pleased by a Sermon to make me behold my condition and search into with a single eye the subject he preached from was the 25 of Matthew the parable of the ten virgins whereby he shewed how far a carnal outward professor might be like a real Christian and yeâ— have never a dram of grace whiâ—h the Lord was pleased to fasten upon my soul making me to weigh my actions and the thoughts of my heart with the pure word of God where I â—ound much unsoundness and rottenness then was my heart east into its former sadness then was the Lord pleased to hâ—mblâ— my soul under the sence of a proud disâ—â—â—dâ—ent heart and made me to be more watchfull to my ways and apply my heart to reading and prayer which before it was much streightned in Thus did I look into the waies of some other professors where the Lord discovered to me many weaknesseâ— and failings by comparing of their wayes unto the pure word of God I saw a shortness of that Gospel spirit the whole Gospel so sweetly treats of this was a stumbling block to my soul thus was my trouble greatly increased wherein Saâ—an was very busie to destroy the comforts I had formerly had None could I find to declare my trouble so malitious was the fire brand of hell to cause several jealousies in the hearts of people what might be the cause of my trouble and as Daevid saies my humbling becaâ—e a reproach unto mâ— I cared not for company but most to be aloue in which I did contemplate the sweetness of his Divine Mercy yet desiring the Lord would ease me of my burden which I thought to be very great often should I sit and bewail my sad condition and be ready with Job to curse the day of my biâ—th yet in this my distress the Lord was pâ—eased to bring me to his feet then would I come with tears and offer up my poor supâ—licâ—tions before the Lord where I found my heart much inlarged beâ—ng affected with the love of God to sinners and carried out much upon those words call upon the Lord and he wiâ—l hear thee he is nigh unâ—o aâ—l that call upon him to deliver them ouâ— of trouble and many more sweet and seasonable Scriptures was the Lord pleased graâ—iously to bring into my remembrance and powerfully to apply unto my heart which made me go often unto the Lord and spread my condition before the Throne of his Grace having much incouragement to hope in his mercy thus did I find much comfort and sweetness in my secret communion with the Lord and found much ease in my troubles which I took aâ— gratious returns of my poor broken prayers and was much carried out to trust in him and to wâ—it upon him then could I sit and call to remembrance the mercies of old as a tender and a loving father who nourished up my poor soul which made me exceedingly admire the infinite riches of his Grace and the freeness of his love in Christ Jesus to my poor Souls which made me often cry out Lord what am I that thou shouldst take such notice of a poor creature that thou shouldest cast thine eye of love upon me though the Devil would yet be busie and often cast into my thoughts doubtful fear what was there in me should cause the Lord to pitty me and indeed I could do nothing in my self which began to increase my trouble yet I remembred it was the saying of David when my father and my Mother forsook me then the lord would look upon me this did at first revive me but then I considered David was a holy man after Gods own heart how dare I to lay claim to any thing belonged to him Thus was my base distrustful heart exercised with vaâ—iâ—â—y of temptaâ—ions by the Devil as to distrust the goodness of the Lord and to rob my soul of the comforts he was pleased many times to come in withall many times has the Lord been pleased to come in by a Sermon to my soul and as it were spake unto my present condiâ—ion but oh how dull have I been to remember and how did my unworthy walking cause those blessed truths to slip out of my mind yet was the Lord in mercy pleased to keep my heart sincere before him to plead for mercy for the Lords sake for whose sake he was gratiously pleased to continue his tender and compassionate love unto me The sweet experiences of the tender love of God to my Soul at Mrs. W. at School THen was the Lord pleased in much bounty to appear very gratious to my poor Soul and drawed out my heart much to long after the knowledge of his waies now being yet under the old way of Worship I bâ—sought the Lord truly to convince my Judgement as well as my affâ—â—ctions of the way which is of his own setting up but for a small time the Lord was pleased yet to leave me to my self that I found my self at a loss being dead and dull yet performing outward duties but with