of the wife viz. helpfulnesse so much CHAP. XV. Concludeth with the third and last Severall Duty of the wife to wit her Gracefulnesse I Conclude now the discourse about the severall duties of the woman to the man whereof this is the last to wit her gracefulnesse The former alone without this will make a good drudge but this added therto will make a good wife They say he who hath gotten both profit and pleasure together for they are not alway joined hath hit the naile on the head But in a wife I am sure it is so if she be usefull by her huswifery and cheerfull by her gracefull amiablenesse she is right and straight indeed and well accomplished Some yet none of the worst housewives are none of the most gracefull creatures their droile alway hangs about them as an ague in the bones and others amiable and cheerfull enough are yet none of the most huswifely and helpfull as the apples of Sodom if they be but toucht with a finger to be usefull they moulder to ashes The former are good droiles to dispatch businesse the other pretty Idols to looke on But the compound of these two hath no fellow to reconcile into one an helpfull gracefulnesse and a gracefull helpfulnesse Of all other duties I need least insist in prooving that this woman makes her marriage honourable and therefore that she is bound to improve her selfe in this kind to the uttermost for the attaining of it This vertue of it selfe speakes as Abel being dead without words This third gift is nothing else save that complexion and luster which ariseth and reboundeth from the mixture of the graces of a woman duly compounded As from the well mixt Elements ariseth bodily temperament and from the blood well mixed in the face ariseth beauty so from a well tempered spirit in a woman ariseth this gracefulnesse As once that Philosopher said if vertue could be seene with the eie it would ravish a man with admirable loves of her so the graces of a woman breaking through her and appearing in the conversation are able to ravish any spirit that is not a stoicke a Nabal A little then first of the Materialls then of the true forme and temper it selfe of this gracefulnesse For the former Grace must needs be the matter of it But what grace Surely graces fly together as birds of a feather and linke as the peeces of a chaine yet there bee pearles which shine more then their fellowes and some graces doe more befriend and beautifie a good wife then other The first may be humility and a meeke spirit for what is more unwomanly unpleasing then a mannish heart of stoutnesse and stomacke and what so decketh a woman as that wherby she is of great esteeme with God himselfe So is shee that walkes in a due and daily sence of her infirmities a modest concealement of her graces Not Sauls talnesse but hiding himselfe a way from honour did most grace him Not a scholers art open'd all at once but the concealment of it most graceth him So not a womans parts but that so fraile a creature should bee above all that 's in her is as the varnish which makes all the picture so amiable Why doe wee thinke Greeke and Ebrew ill bestow'd upon a woman save that its above her ordinary sex to know it and to know her selfe too yet if I should behold a woman of excellent parts of learning and yet to bee as one that knew not her owne knowledge but drown'd all in the spirituall sence of her corruption I should thinke I saw a rare object Shee is little in her owne eies yet that littlenesse makes her greater in Gods eye preciouser in mans then that great gift with which she is furnished A second grace is selfdeniall A meere scholar is growne into a character of disdaine and so is every other thing that is meer a meer woman is an homely sight because ordinary But a woman above a woman her wits and abilities and especially a woman above her wrath envie selflove and passions a woman above her gaine pleasures earthly contents having all and yet above all pestred with all and yet overcomming all is an object of admiration The spirit of God to affect our spirits presents strange objects in his word women Captaines warriours CoÌ„querors what a pretty thing it is to se Iael to master a great Generall of the field with her Hammer Naile Debora to sit and judge Israel what a miracle was our mayden Queen Elizabeth to the world Why but because wee thinke we see and can scarce beleeve our eies in seeing those vertues which were admirable in the Man to reside in a weake sexe as it were out of place So the Lord presents to us in his word his master-peeces an Abigail without sword or bow conquering a Conqueror and leading him captive with her self-denial and wisedome And in experience we see here and there one as a berry or an olive left behind who can master a fierce husbands anger by her long suffring and selfdeinall one that can rule her passions which rule al sorts Why save that we might admire our God as much in the Ants sagacity as the Elephants strength If he who can overcome himselfe then much more shee who can do so is greater then he who hath overcome a city Oh not alway in great things is goodnes but alway in good is greatnes especially when that good is also little A third grace of a woman is faith both for the tâ—uâ—h of it and for the life of it For the former what more worth then pretious faith Paul saith its not of all women or men it s a flower growing in the gardens a pretious jewell worea in the bosomes of very few of this sexe What can calme the soule save pardon and grace from the promise of a Father the blood of a Mediator What can make a woman peaceable and of a quiet frame save because all is well betweene God and her selfe And what is that grace which settles the soule in this grace save faith the fruite of the lips and mother of peace They say there was once a famous Ladie in the English court that calmed the differences of all the courtiers and therfore they called her Ione-Makepeace This ladie faith is that lady Ione a meet ornament not for court onelye but country also Ione-Makebates each house is full of but of Makepeaces very few Oh this graces absence makes all amort womens unquietnesse of nature wrath scoldings and distempers come not so much from outward causes or inward humors as for lacke of this lady faith Their hearts are wicked casting up mire and dirt in the family like the raging sea casting up her owne foame and all because the peace of God which passeth understanding and settling the soule by faith is wanting Some what they once had in creation have lost it by
deeming many other subjects more worthy and proper to present your Lordship withall But my good Lord such is the estate of fraâ—le flesh in this vaile or misery that there is no condition of lâ—fe whether Ministery Magistracy single or maried state wherin counsell may not doe well for the rectifying of such errors as through humane infirmity breake into all Each state hath his severall temptations and a well ordered course in marriage as long experience of a double marriage can teâ—ch you is no easie Theme â—gaine that sweet and mutuall accord which God hath vouchsafed twixt your Honour and your worthy Consort may serve to turne my Dedâ—cation into a Gratulation And indeed though the Booke be much under the value of such a personage as your selfe a mâ—n not onely of Noble descent but of great and deserving acts both for our Church and Commonwealth both formerly and of late yet I presume that if a draught of muddy wâ—ter presented in the crowne of a hat was so welcome to a potent Monarch then doubtlesse your honourable spirit will not reject a Schollers Mite offered with as deepe respect unto you as that was you will not despise small things since there may be a blessing therein Not alway in a great thing there is good but in a good there is ever great and that which may agree with greatnesse as one tells us out of a Greeke Poet. All helpes shall one day cease yet every booke of use may serve as a little walking-staffe to further us in our travell home Moreover it may become the best Scholler of us all to learne that lesson which Paul and from him my Booke urgeth The time is short wrapt and folded up as the Text is Let them that possesse be as if they possessed not such as weepe as if they wept not such as rejoyce as if they rejoyced not such as marry as if they married not such as use the world as if not using it for the fashion of it passeth away A time for all things and so a time for the married to embrace and a time to bee far from embracing Seeke therefore that place where all these relations shall cease for so I thinke though some thinke otherwise where there shall be no marrying nor giving in marriage for the Spouse shall be wholy spirituall like her husband at least like the Angels of God In which desire I rest craving a blessing from heaven upon your Honour your vertuous and Noble Lady and posterity as also upon the perusall of this your Booke and so humbly take my leave resting At your Honours command in the LORD DANIEL ROGERS To the READER All health IUdicious and religious Reader this Wheele of our Conversation whereof this Booke treates Marriage I meane including many lesser wheeles in and under it all subject to the motion thereof and each of them requiring a due order and direction that both might bee regular and according to knowledge how should I thinke any other but that I have lighted upon this point of Marriage by a speciall Manuduction of Providence Desirous wee are sometimes that the matter we have by us in readinesse might be seasonable also for the times wherein we live But when indeed the manners of our present age seeme to give a life to that which we have before prepared for thou knowest Occasion is the life of a Thing then doubly it appeares seasonable yea as Apples of gold and Pictures of silver Howbeit further musing of the matter sundry other smaller cords concurred to draw me on to this endeavour whereof I will make thee partaker as counting it none of the smallest mercies that I may give an account to the Church of God for the improving and redeeming of my seasons in these sad times wherein that good God who allowes us any the least protection and liberty requires that wee spend it not in vanity and froth but to the best advantage if not as we would for hee is wiser then man yea his foolishnesse and weaknesse exceeds the best wisedome and strength which is in us yet as wee may for the better making up of our reckoning at his comming when the use of our Talents shall be examined First then I observed that Religious Consent betweene couples did not onely fashion the family relations the children and servants much the more orderly but also extended it selfe to the Church and Common-wealth causing those services which concerne publique communion of worshippers to proceed more faire as also the duties of common life to passe more comely then otherwise they would doe One godly and harmonious Couple I have noted to dispatch more good service to God to themselves to their brethren then some ten couples unequally yoaked So true a maxime of Machiavel and his master the Devill it is Hee that would beare rule let him sow discord and division This one wheele then being of so maine importance what need is there that the spokes and staves of it bee sound and well compact according to the rule of the Sanctuary This was one motive I observed moreover that as barren as the world is of good persons and good couples yet here and there are scattered many of a tractable and docible disposition to doe well and to order their marriage course aright Onely their Principles lying rather in a morall way of good affections zeale and duties then in the particular relations of life in which they live as of marriage yea being ignorant of that which should either informe their judgement or order their will thereunto alas they never attaine the Tythe of comfort and content which this estate might affoord them How great pitty were it then to defraud such people of directions who if they might enjoy it would not bee wanting to improve it How many full of knowledge yet live and in marriage especially as if they had none By so much the more its pitty that such should want it as would gladly enjoy the fruit of it And considering that without knowledge the heart is not good and that good intentions without rule are as a goodly Coach without a skilfull driver I conceived I should doe them acceptable service and some glory to God in casting this Platforme of Direction for them out of Gods Word This seemed another inducement Besides these as wee see a great deale of ground vanisheth in a narrow Map which in a larger lyeth open so I have noted that in Sermons or short Touches upon the fifth Command wherein the Preacher onely following his text meets with no such occasions of inquiry much instruction about particular duties of Mariage are concealed which yet in a Treatise appointed for the nonce will offer it selfe fitly to be discussed They that are in a crowd must get through as they can but the doore standing open freely one by one may passe through with ease So is it here a Treatise hath this advantage
thought rather how in the swarme of such you may shun them and light upon such as are the Lords As for these you shall not need to take thought for them our rules will not much hinder their marriages like will to like doe we what we can and the dead will bury the dead the world will love their owne and that to their mutuall sorrow and all to teach us to love such the rather whom the Lord loveth What have we to doe to judge them that are without no we speake to no other but the willing people Psal 110. 3. who will stand to be judged at Gods barre Object 6 But I have cast mine affection already upon such an one and am snared Answ Then forbeare a while till all means be tryed for the parties bettering and so venture upon them Object But I cannot so farre deny my selfe Answ Thanke your selfe God forceth no such necessity upon any if they will be ruled If not their snaring themselves with a needlesse necessity cannot make Gods command of no effect If you can make to your selves such a necessity as must breake a charge of God then try how well you can endure the fruit of it when sorrow repentance and shame shall come upon you as the necessity of an armed man Is not as good reason that you digest this gobbet as that the Lord digest the other yes surely Object 7 But when all is done perhaps we shal misse of our choice desired because there are so few to be found in this wofull barren world of such as be religious and those who are but meerely civil are counted puritans and those precise whose manners are not debauched Answ Set not Gods providence and his command together by the eares as if he charged you to marry onely in the Lord and yet debarred you from it in practice so that either you must be forced to marry with all sorts or else must not marry at all No God puts no such snare upon any looke you to your selves that you be such as you goe for and the Lord will not deceive you he hath good in store for the good It s one of heavens workes to make good marriages and hee who hath bad women in store for sinners that they may fall by them he hath also good ones for the good that they may honour marriage and him thereby yea and he hath wisdome discerning of spirits of the subtill shewes and guizes of all sorts both hypocrites and other bad ones so that as subtill as the world is they who loathe to be cheated by their dice-play shall not want wisedome to judge and savour to relish the good in the midst of the bad they shall heare a voyce behinde them saying This is the way and withall giving them an eare to heare and an heart to obey and walke therein Object 8 But to conclude wee have met say some with good companions by providence yet still are we letted for our parents and friends at least of one side will not consent I answer perhaps you seeke among the good and finde better then your selves for some sinister end the beauty or the portion of the party otherwise unworthy to speed and what wonder if a wise parent will not consent to bestow his childe upon you But ye object yes both of us being both religious and consenting yet parents crosse us I answer If indeed it be so tarry till I come to the next Chapter and there I shall fall into that argument of the parents duty and therefore I will not prevent my selfe We have answered Objections enough and more will occur after enough therefore is said here Let us hasten to some Vse of the point wherein more satisfaction will be given to other questions First this is terrour and reproofe to the marriages of this degenerate age wherein this duty of marrying in the Lord is cast off at large As Rehoboams yonkers carried that weighty businesse of his Kingdome and overthrew it so doe the unruly and rebellious humours of most youth miscarry this They knit and combine themselves together as if they were right grave Counsellours wiser then their parents and ancients disdaining that any should over-rule their rash and rebellious appetites and so with rash resolutions and fury of undeniable passions they rush themselves upon the pikes of eternall misery If once their parents be dead then most of these hot-spurs have made sure enough for the honour of marriage for by that time they come of yeeres if not before most of them have embezeld their patrimonies But if not yet in this point of marriage this is their resolution Give me her for she pleaseth me well she may please well for a moment though she be a prick in the eye and a goade in the side for ever after And so for a vanishing content to a vaine humour what doe such but enthrall themselves to a wanton wastefull and wilfull ungodly companion And as the Heathen said of a bad bargaine it vexes the foolish buyer more with the continuall upbraiding then the losse of the money so may I say of this and as Sampson found this at leasure for the wilfull minde he bare to have Delila so doe these But alas there is no season for such as he was to beleeve it being intoxicate with the cup of inchantment disabling them from taking better counsell But why then speake I this Surely because I see religion among young couples for the most part is the first of those respects which are last thought of Desperate and stollen waters are sweetest to such like those of the Benjaâ—ites who rushing into a company of dancers in their jollity snatcht up each man his wife as she came to hand prove well or ill for better for worse for why they sought wives not good ones and that any way so they had them What a merry world were it for our debauched drunken youth in these our dayes if they might choose their wives in such a lottery To catch among a drove each one his owne marrow pell-mell oâ— what a brave thing were it There is a pleasure in doing that which is forbidden to our cursed nature even because it is so and if it were not so they would dye upon a swords point ere they would attempt it And notwithstanding the woe of such marriages both against Gods word law of reason consent of parents yea the generall experience of such as are gone before them yet who may speake to such Surely such matches are made in hell like are fallen upon like by the Divels spokesmanship as I confesse better one house troubled with such then two But what a sad thing is it to thinke what a cursed posterity such are like to hatch I say such as whereof one or two might poison an whole neighbourhood Druken meetings marriages revellings Marquets Fayres Tavernes and Alehouses being the places
his virgin that she is not necessitated to marry he may refuse or otherwise hee may yeeld he offends in neither But after one marriage is expired the widow is not so tyed because providence hath settled her upon her owne right Howbeit for the weaker sexe the case so falling out that shee may stand in as much need of counsell at last as at first yea of more this I say That it were the part of such widows to remember that they are children and to ascribe a reverentiall and honourable esteeme of their parents counsell out of wisedome and discretion although a precise command of God doe not absolutely urge it Lastly parents must still looke at the maine point that is the condition and state of a childe 's both body and minde For a parent understanding the case to be such that a childe cannot without deepe discontent of spirit and inconvenience of body propending strongly to marriage and shunning those continuall and noysome vexations which would attend the contrary I say cannot abstaine then his authority not being allowed him for the tyranny and hurt but the good and welfare of his childe he ought not unseasonably and rigidly to dispute his right or to hold it but tenderly and wisely to release it at the childes humble instance And this I might also presse in other cases as well as this But because they will occurre better upon objections brought against this point I will stop two gaps with one bush that is both lay downe the extent of this exception and also answer a question both in one For why here it is objected by sundry children as I toucht before that as neare as they can they observing the rules of God in religious and apt choice and being now to strike up the match they say The parents or guardians at least of one side wilfully withdraw their consent To whom I must answer with much caution for the safegarding of a parents honour First ye children beware lest you put any unjust affront upon your parents that may cause this rigour you complaine of and open their mouthes against you For if you doe their cause must be heard when you must stand by Put case that it fall out that your match be not faulty after your tryall of each other howbeit you upon the presumption thereof have beene your owne carvers and carried all with your owne wits leaving your parents to serve your turne after and hereupon the parent being offended looks not so much at the fitnesse of the match as at his owne contempt who can in such a case justifie you In this case especially if the parents be irreligious and unable to value the price of a good husband or wife I see not what course you should take but to humble your selves for your offence considering in your owne case how unwilling you would have beene to be so served Parents I grant should not only hearken to but runne and ride to seeke out good matches for their children if any occasion be offered and yet many of them are so stout peevish selfe-willed and envious that of all other matches they will crosse them most which are the best But yet you children crosse not them by forcing unequall conditions upon parents in consenting to your marriages Although you be granted to be religious yet it becomes not you to thinke so well of your selves that being unequall in state and stocke or in other respects you will force the marriage of one that hath great meanes under colour of religion For in this case a parent is not bound but hath his excuse If God should move a parent in this case considering how few are religious or thrifty to match their children under-foot for the world in respect of grace it is well and good embrace their good will thankfully But to obtrude your own worth upon their affections you ought not whether the parents bee religious or not The like I say if the disproportion lye in any other kinde This by way of digression that children bee sure of it that their matches be consonant and agreeable to the rule for they may be godly and yet not apt matches But to answer the question as it lyes If I say your matches be truly equall yet your parents will not yeeld Then first Let such children count it the crosse that they are fallen upon such parents let them not domineere over them and outshoote the divell in his owne bow of resolution and stomack but humbly submit to the parents as parents in generall seeking by all meanes to winne their love and respect first or last by your obedience and well-pleasing that they may see it and say My child â—s as carefull to give me content as to serve his owne turne And if need require let such friends be used by way of mediation as may best alay their opposite mindes shewing them the ill consequents thereof And lastly set on the Lord also to encounter their untractable hearts humbly supplicating that he would turne the hearts of fathers to the children to melt them and to give them the eies of Doves insteed of Crocodiles If all these prevaile not then the discipline of the Church being in force course ought to be taken to make complaint of such wrong viz. that a parent abuseth his or her authority to hurt and therefore implore the aide both of the Church and of the Magistrate to reduce parents into due order for they themselves must know that they are under Authority and no further made the Iudges over the children then as they can answer to God for their good carriage therein And so also to require such a childes portion from them as in such case is fit But if children cannot meet with such releefe I leave them under the crosse which God hath cast upon them to take it up meekly and beare it till God ease their chaine But if the father consent and the mother onely be obstinate they may with good conscience notwithstanding proceed yeelding all due respect to her So much for this Another question heer mooved is this Put case that two parties have got the affections of each other but the father on his deathbed dissent and forbid the marriage whether is the conscience of the child absolutely so tyed by those irrevocable words that he or she may not dare to attempt marriage I answer that child which out of an honourable respect shall wholy forbeare for feare of after scruples or shall piously encline to forbeare doubtlesse they bewray a very awfull heart to the counsell of their parent especially if they be convinced of an overruling providence determining the businesse But to affirme directly that a child is alway bound to obey in such a case I dare not Many circumstances must be observed next to the rule and therefore first I shall thinke it fit in this businesse that the parties resigne up themselves to the judgement
blessing Looke about thee and see what objects God hath planted for thy bounty to be bestowed upon Thy wealth if it be a standing poole will stinck and baine thee If it be a streame it will be sweet and all the bulke shall be pure unto thee As in the Manna all had their due the plenty of the gatherer of much abounded to the supply of him that lacked By the decaies of others God trieth thee If when blessing comes in upon thee thou welcomest it with an evill eie saying This is little enough to pay debts this will do well to encrease my stocke this is for the clothing of my children I will spend this upon costly apparell for my wife and all that comes is onely for thine owne use and thou shrinkst up the bowels of thy compassion so much the more know this will destroy all as a Canker bred in a fayre apple No say thus This plenty will serve mee and God too part of this shall supply the defects of my faythfull Minister poor decayed neighâ—our such a poor widdow such poore Orfans poor Students at Vniversity hast thou such an heart to the poor members of Christ that no complaints may be heard in thy streets that thou and they may meete together and worship God with the more joyfull hearts that the Gospell and religion of God may be supported both in peace and especially in persecution It s a signe that God meanes to make thy horne full and thy winepâ—esse to burst with new wine well continue doe so still try the Lord if he will not requite thee Thy goodnesse cannot reach unto the Lord himselfe let it extend to his saints such as excell in vertue SeÌ„d thy treasure to heaven before thee cast thy bread upon the waters trust God after many daies if thou trust God it shal returne againe Many rich husbands professe religion but all their serving of God is no other theÌ„ the poorest ChristiaÌ„ may performe to pray heare conferre But as for the dutie they owe to God as rich men they cast it behind their backe They thinke that their workes should hinder their faith and so hoard up hundreths yea thousands together but do nothing till God by degrees wast and consume both them and their posterity as a moth and at last roote them up quite out of the land of the living Beware of this curse therfore Seventhly if any affâ—onts losses ill successe or discontents befall thee in thy course of providence by ill debtors servants children looke up in thine innocency with cheerfulnes to the smiter aswell as in thy gaynes Both are alike from him even to weane thee from the sweet milke of those brests which thou art loth to be weaned from to knocke thee off from hence and to prepare thy spirit for better welfare Bee patient Trades are as the sun which though it set over night yet returnes in the morning Iobs latter dayes after he had been tried prooved happier then the former And when both the mizer and waster shall both be left to want the Lord yet shall susteyne thee and thy faith which yet the world thinks will buy no meate in the marquet shall be such currant pay in heaven that it shall purchase thee abundance upon earth To conclude let all thy providence determine in this full point That hereby thine heart may rejoice thou and thy wife enjoying the fruite of thy travaile that thou mayst not be like to them that roste not that they got in hunting For what hath a man of all that sore travaile and labor which as a poore son of Adam he hath taken here under the sun save that a man eat and drinke and cheere his heart in the goodnes of the giver and rejoice in the wife of thy youth let her share with thee I meane not as Iob saith That he kisse his owne hande and magnify the Idoll of his provident head saying All this hath mine hand gotten nor that he soake himselfe in the Creature and set himselfe to looke upon the sun in her brightnes and the Moone in her encrease adoring the outward meanes and denying the Almighty this were Idolatry and Sacriledge No but quietly and thankfully praysing God and rejoycing as those Israelites were charged to do when they brought their first fruites in all which they put forth their handes unto Taking with a loving right hand that which God reacheth out causing themselves to serve him with a glad heart for all which the Lord hath don for them Better thus then as many do pursing and stopping up in holes corners in an ragge or in the ground perhaps here one debtor running away with an hundreth there another cheater with fifty or perhappes a theese digging thorough stealing as much in another kynd To the wicked God gives toyle and vexation of body of spirit more discontent then all their plenty can breed peace wheras the rest of the Righteous is sweet bee their portion more or lesse thorough the good will of him that dwelt in the bush added to their Providence See then that it be so that thou play not the block under all mercies so that neither a good day should mend nor a bad paire thee But first for thy outward condition proportion thine expences according to thy revenews as neer as thou canst keep downe thine heart and then its lawfull for thee to live according to thy meanes Cut thy coate according to thy cloth rather living at an under then an over rate as knowing its easier to fall then to rise and yet understanding what scantling God allowes yet better be a cheerfull dispenser then a base niggardly grudger at the use of what God hath given As the good woman sayde husband better spend it freely as God sendes it then knaves run away withall TheÌ„ for thy spirituall course let thine heart be doubly and trebly cheerfull in the Lord saying with her my Soule magnifies the Lord and my flesh rejoices in his salvation If I ought to make him my strength in the lowest adversity although neither vine should beare grapes nor the olive her fruit although there were neither Calfe in the stall nor bullock in the flocke how much more then when my pathes are anoynted with oile and my streames run full of butter and hony And so much if not too much for the answere of this question wherin providence standes Vse 1 I conclude all with use and first of reproofe for this point is fruitfuâ—l in unfruitfulnes first how many husbands are there who contrary to the vowes made to their wives in this behalfe at their entry upon marriage cast off this burden from themselves lay it wholly upon the weake shoulders of their wives In the mean while themselves bearing themselves upon the fidelitye or thedrudgery of the wiâ—e at home go abroad and open the sluce and floodgates of prodigality and
at once to make outcries against professors when they prove Bankrupts Adde sixthly to these such hotspurres as will not be idle but runne into another extreame of wilfulnesse rushing upon matters beyond their skill and reach affecting plots and inventions of gaine either by Adventures or by new Manufactures resolved eyther to winne the spurres or to lose all And so they have lost all indeed and withall drawne many with them who were as greedie of gayne into deepe expences and forfeits of their states and indeed they are both well enough served to teach them as Paul speakes to follow their owne affaires with quietnes Others weary of their slow-paced Trades desirous to hasten them how do they enlarge their providence rather their greedines as hell thrusting as many irons at once into the fire as they can come by adding house to house and farme to farme borrowing upon eight gayning scarse four in the hundreth yet dreaming of golden mountaynes Till at last the mistresse of fooles teaching them too late they perceive their haste to have brought foorth blind whelpes and wish they had made no more haste then good speed Eightly how ordinary a course now adaies is it with men as I touched before to wrangle with their callings that they might change them and seeke others till as the dog catching at the shadow they lose the flesh and forfeit that they have which is to cast their present reall estate upon the casual and uncerteyne hope of things to come Yet since this occasion is offred I speake not as if all deserting of a calling or diversion from it for a time were unwarranted For sometime it so falls out by providence that a man deserts Country and all and departs to such a place as will not admit a possibilitie of the exercise of his calling so that in the one he must needes yeeld the other Againe sometimes the outward members senses and the inward abilities of a man desert him and disable him from his calling when as yet some slighter employment may perhaps befit him well enough Necessity of banishment caused many holy men to make buttons and points for their living who before had studied and written books So also the trade may bee so growne out of request eyther by multitude of Traders or by deadnesse of the wares that they cannot support the workemen or they may bee so low and require so much work to be done for mony that a trader cannot live on them Shall then the mayntenance of the family hang upon the strict point of not change of a calling No in no sort But in these or any the like cases wherof are many the end must rule the meanes and any other lawfull course which lies neerest to the skill or sleight of the workman is allowed for the support of the family Onely let men beware lest out of a fickle ungrounded lazy wearisome covetous reaching aspiring spirit they desert not their Callings and if they needs must yet let them chuze to divert rather from them for a tyme and returne to them after when providence yeelds opportunitie for it then shew that they willingly and slightly were mooved to abandon them at the first But this by the way Endlesse it were to mention all abuses in this kynde but to finish how many have wee who through their Rebellion will not be subject to the duty of Providence Others who spoile all by improvidence and having sold all even their wyves clothes off their backe make a mocke of it saying If any can make more of their wyves then they have done let them take them How many others who having gotten a faire estate by their Providence yet wast it as fast by their jollity and lavishnesse making their houses Through-faires for Epicures and boone companions disquieting their poor wives from their setled family busines to wayt upon such base Companions contrary both to her spirit conscience Or if not yet farre from honoring God with their Encrease or their marriage with wise dispensing of their estate These excesses have as thou mayst see good Reader caused mee to lengthen out this Argument as if I had not only treated about marriage Providence but providence in the generall the contrary thereto But I hope that some may light upon what I have sayd amend Thus much for the use of Reproofe Vse 2 The latter use is Exhortation Let all good Husbands honour their Marriage and the Lord by a faithfull improovement of this duty of Providence Let them avoyde all extremities both on the right hand and left and in weldoing commend themselves to God as to a faythfull keeper and God alsufficient Let them neither go to worke carkingly nor yet carelessely Let them abhorre ydlenesse and yet shun ill occupiednesse And by that I have sayd of the sin of Improvidence let them learne the contrary and so shall they as much as in them lyes build up the house give good example to their wives to do the like within serve God with cheerfulnesse and enjoy the fruit of their Travaile with contentednesse when the slothfull and prodigall shall perish and vanish And for this second peculiar duty of the husband viz. Providence so much and for this Chapter CHAP. XII Treateth of the third and last Personall Office of the man Honor of Respectivenesse to his wife NOw I proceed to the third and last duty of the husband towards his wife which is honor and due respect to his wife The ground of which is the ordinance of God by which they are made one flesh For so sayth Moses when the Lord had brought the woman to Adam he embraced her saying This is bone of my Bone and flesh of my flesh Shee shal be called woman because shee is taken out of man For this cause shall a man forsake his father and mother and cleave to his wife and they twayne shal be one flesh Lo with what honorable esteeme he welcomes this his blessed compeere into the world Now its true the wife in this respect oweth the like tye of tendernesse towards him But we must know this first lyes upon the man to her ward because he is the roote of the relation Wee say that love descendes from the Father to the Child because he is the foundation of the reference Not but that mutualnesse is required But the Originall roote must first impart himselfe Now upon this roote of union the Apostle enforceth this duty No man ever hated his owne flesh But nourished theri shed it as himselfe He then that hates his wife is an unnaturall monster and devoures his owne flesh He that loveth his wife loveth himselfe We know how it is in the body Vnion of parts causing samenesse and uniforme subsisting in one procuring an exceeding tendernesse compassion and sympathie betwixt each member So that although the foot stumble and give the body a fall yet a man
corruption cannot recover it by faith and this disquiets them the losse of a pig a chicken will vexe by consent because there is a worse vexer within But as wee know if a woman had found a pearle worth an hundreth pound shee would be overjoyed Christ speakes but of a groate so that if she should heare she had lost one of her goslings it would little affect her so if this faith were within the bosome the losses of toies the occasions of common anger in the family would cease That would change all as Christ calmed the sea And secondly for the life of it what gold is so precious as is the triall of faith Marriage is as full of troubles as a Crowne of cares Sorrow there is sufficient to each day to a womaÌ„ by name breeding bearing bringing forth many losses she meetes with false aspersions feare of debts wrong of ill neighbors and enemies deprivall of health her deerest children sundry diseases ill successes what were then the life of a woman under all these but miserie if she beleeved not in the son of God and hoped for a good end That although she cannot say All is yet she may say All shal be well when the houre of Redeemed ones is come This life of faith wil make the bush though it burne yet not to consume and will bring the Son of God to walke with her in the hot fornace who wil keep away the savor as wel as the power of fire from theÌ„ Therfore Sara and the widow of Zarepta and of Shunem and Rebecca are brought in as beleevers in that cloude of witnesses as well as Abraham and Isaac and Iacob So base is that speech of some Atheists that women must meddle with no faith but wrap themselves up in their husbands A fourth grace is Innocency and truth A compound of two in one The one is a brestplate of defence the other a Golden Girdle to gird all other graces of Gods spirit close to her These I grant are peeces or Armor for Champions but I understand my selfe to speake of women Captains and conquerors as I tolde you before and you know fayth is no effeminate grace though feminine but overcomes the world And why should a shield of Faith which serves to defend both the body and the Armour of it too go without a Brestplate and a girdle Debora if shee will go into the feeld shee must be armed and a woman is not free from assaults and perill shot and darts aswel as a man in this feeld of the worlde therfore must learne to put on this armour God hath no other for men then women though women must not put on mens apparrel yet they must be clad in the same armor of light That will make them shot-free The Emperor Charles the 5. went among the thickest of his souldiers and tolde his men That a true Emperor was never shot with a Bullet But I am sure of this That this Brest plate is armor of proofe An innocent hermelesse quiet woman shall not be ashamed to meete her enemies in the gates yea though it were of hell wheÌ„ things come to be debated her uprightnes and righteousnes shall deliver her Innocency shal be her defence against evill tongues abroad truth against an ill conscience within wheras the guilty and treacherous woman will betray her selfe and lose the day That very harlot true in nothing but that shee was the infants mothe â—by her truth escaped the swords censure A miescheevous woman or a woman-lyar who can endure And who would not go or ride a far journey to see this other warlike woman Those Heroines of whom story and Poëts so talke as Penthesilea and the like were not so gracefull a sight nor those Amazons that seared off one dug that they might shoot were no such spectacles as these women clad in innocency and truthe Their name is more fragrant then sweet oyntment and there is no dead fly to make it stinke A fifth grace is zeale and prety For the former it serves to make the woman a stirring housewife for God as Diligence makes her so for her husband Meeknesse in her own matters well becomes her who is earnest in Gods If a woman man would be hot and fiery let her turne it to God and for his cause and this will make her coole and calme in her own As bleeding on the arme by art stops unnaturall bleeding by fluxe so zeale for God cooles the heat of corrupt passion to man This grace becomes this sexe the rather because it argues truth of grace for else calmenesse of her frame naturally carries her to flatnesse and fulsomnesse It must be with a Christian woman as it is in nature with the female sexe of the creatures Nature hath put a fircenesse into the female because of the impotency thereof therefore the she Beare the Lyonesse are the most raging and cruell But grace makes that naturall impotency of the woman turne impotency for God as to provoke her husband with sweet affections for his servants and worship It was a great praise for the sexe that God would send his Prophet in the famine rather to try the piety of the widdow of Zareptha an heathen then any of the sonnes of Israel And it was the honour of those wealthy women Joanna the wife of Herods Steward and other the like to be the pious supporters of the Lord Iesus his body when hee had not whereon to lay his head And at this day if estimation be made God is as much if not more honoured with the forwardnesse of women then of men their nature being fearfull hath ever beene proner to superstition as in Ezekiel those women that wept from Tammuz those devout Grecian Gentlewomen stird up by the Iewes against Paul and where they are out of the way none are worse But grace overruling corruption turnes superstition into zeale and devotion into religion and then its comely Mens spirits are hardier doe not so easily feare Majesty tremble at judgemnts beleeve promises shun sinne love good as women so that when they are in the way none are better none sooner embrace the Gospell if it come a new to a place none more readily joine together in communion none more tender hearted to the distressed and such as suffer for Christs name God hath his women that wove scarlet and twined linnen for his Tabernacle as Manasseh had for his Idolls Oh! how sweet a sight is it to see these Votaries not of the Pope but the Lord Iesus who can thinke of that honorable Countesse of Richmond and Derby without admiration the founder of so many Colledges and Hospitalls I omit to speake of all whose praise is in the gospell wee have many worthy momen in our daies exceeding men in these pieties and zealous duties Oh goe on hold your daily entercourse with God! keepe quarter with heaven have your conversation where your treasure is and with that
by a wife Entrance marrying in the Lord and aptly in the Lord as also by wise watching to the Duties both of common nature reaching to them both and in speciall pertaining to either let mee conclude the whole treatise with an item to both sorts First all ye that are apt religious joint worshippers of God who love each other are chast and consenting in the generall also who in speciall are understanding provident respective husbands subject helpfull gracefull wives Let me say this unto you both I doubt not but in the reading of my former treatise you willingly heare of other unhappy couples your selves better married But which of you in thus reading looke up to God or acknowledge such a blessing with due thankfulnes Which of you do but suppose as it is not amisse to suppose what might have bin or what may bee or say within your selves If â—he Loâ—d had not provided better for some of us then we deserved then we desired given us good companions before ever we knew what the misery of bad or the worth of good ones meant yea if he had not beene better to us most unworthie then he hath beene to more worthie then our selves whom he saw fitter to beare to profit by the crosse then our selves were oh what had become of us Oh! Nabals Laâ—ecs Zippora's Iebazels had swallowed up our souâ—s spirits peace welfare thrift and all The continuall vexitions of bad heads daily dropping of bad wives had oppressed us Alas And why hath the Lord done this Surely not for any good hee saw or foresaw in us but because he knew how unmeet we were to honor him under such a chaine Why then do wee not more magnify his providence and wonder at his love who hath so guarded us There being so few apt couples in the world that our lot should bee to light upon no unapter there being so many bad ones that wee should light upon no worser Is not this mercy Was it a golden blessing at first in our owne sense and confession and is it become a leaden one now after ten twenty thirty yea fourty yeeres experience Doe rich Pearles fall in price Could such mercie be better spared now then it might thirty yeeres a goe Have we had the stock of good marriage now 20. yeeres and come far shorter in the Tribute of praise thanks and fruit then when we first entred There be 4. ages of each marriage through the sin of the marryed the first goldeÌ„ the next silver the third brasse the last yron At first couples begin with precious affectioÌ„s to God to each other join much in duty cleave closely each to other mutually excite each other to zeale good works and pay their vowes well then nextly Gods part weaknes and decayes and they hold mutuall marriage-love hardly Then thirdly both Gods part and their owne faile too and they waxe fulsome and formall in both But lastly and before they die the Devill will faile of his will but he will make them both loose carnall profane and scandalous consider this how many Marriages of great hope and solemnity have by these Declensions proved starke naught at last when indeed they should have proved best and by degrees come to perfection Let it bee a sad Item to such as enter well to beware lest they trust too much to their owne wisedome and strength which will lay them in the durt ere they be a ware Againe how little do wee condole the unhappines of mismatcht couples Yea even Christians better then our selves Rather readie to disdayne and scorne them then to condole and pity them As those two Aaron and Miriam fell a cavilling at Moses for his Aethiopain wife Why Had he not sorrow enough before Was this to mourne with him or rather to adde more burden thereto Was it not from God And were they to quarrel at it Even so it fareth with many That which should provok teÌ„dernesse love fellow-feeling compassion in men rather causeth disdaine indignation alienating and estrangement of heart deserting of fellowship Why I pray Do they stoop under their burden so deeply that they are oft ashamed to complaine and dost thou trample upon them Dost thou judge them afflicted of God and humbled for sin Knowing thy wisedome and choice was no whâ—t better Thy successe only was happier in providence No but as thy selfe in the like affliction wouldst be handled so deale thou Bear their burden associate their persons use all meanes to reconcile their spirits to compound their differences to reduce them to mediocrity and indifferency of affâ—ctions many couples had prooved happier if even such as were neerest them had not rather made them objects of abhorring then of compassion A great sin and meane to aggravate yea exasperate those seedes of evill which disproportion at the first was like to kindle too much Pray pray rather for mercie and strength to guide and carry them through For how hardly couldst thou digest those morsells once which must bee their daily diet Wilt thou eate thy sweet bits alone and so little wish them to such as want them wholy Once a man enjoying sweet marriage thought seriously of another friend that never married a viling himself as base in respect of him that seemed to be above the need of that which himselfe could neither well want nor thankfully improove How much more shouldst thou then pray for such as would faine enjoy that which no creature can help them withall Moreover if not our worth but rather our weaknes hath mooved the Lord to shew us this mercy how doth the sense of our weaknes humble us How do we esteeme of the grace of God in such as although but ill married yet do walke more wisely under that crosse and do grow daily more humble and wary and purge out much drosse out of themselves which perhaps the blessings of God purge not out of us but rather make us sleep securely in the love of them As pride hipocrisie selflove and sensuality what if we whose portion is better do yet make a slighter matter of it and turne it into wantonnes How just were it with God to bereave us of our sweet companions leaving us to passe the rest of our daies either in solitarinesse with snares so that we should bring our gray heads to the graves with dishonor as many have done or in marriage more sad and sorrowfull the latter part of our life then ever it was comfortable in the former part thereof Could we well brooke such sawce and sower hearbs yet fit for such as have eaten our former dainties with such unthankfulnesse verily the experience I have had of second or third matches which have betided some husbands have made mee to thinke of our Saviours words to Peter when thou wert young thou girdedst thy selfe and went at thy pleasure But when thou art old another shall bind thee and lead thee whither thou wouldest not Surely when
joine together closely in The causes why The duty opened urged 141. 143. 144. Counsels about it ibid. Forced and loveles marriages dangerous 154. and in what respects ibid. Howe farre the wife may undertake the service of God in her Family 268. Of choice of wives out of Bad Families see Wife Fornication a great sin 331. G. GOd is seldome found out of his way 26. Grace levels all disproportions in Marriage 27. Grace must be preserved yea all counted as drosse to Grace for a good Marriage 52. Good Marriages must be bought 53. Guardians and Governours and bound to looke to Orphans Marriages aswell as Parents to Childrens 73. How they fayle therein by sundry abuses 93. The wofull fruit of it 94. Gracefulnes a third peculiar duty of the wife to her husband 304. what this gracious virtue is ibid. Two things in it Matter and that is Grace Especially these 7. 1. Humility 2. Self deniall The 3. Faith both in the truth in the life of it A. 4. Innocency 5. Zeale and piety 6. Mercy and compassion 7. Confidence with others as cheerfulnes sincerity c. from 305. to 312. Secondly The Forme or temperature of it in what it consisteth ibid. graceles and bad Wives what miseries to their Husbands 314. Gracefull wives must expresse it to their Husbands 315. Husbands that are happy in the grace of their wives must returne the like ibid. Generall uses arising from the whole Treatise 316. Objection about degrees of Grace in either party of the Married 56. H. HEathen opinions of fornication 3. Honour of mariage upheld by two meanes viz. Good entrance and good continuance 21. Honour of mariage stands both in joint acts and several 128. Motives to the Husband to love his wife 160. To the wife to love him 162. Humiliation meet for all couples who have lived in dissention 192. the duty urged 193. Ill Husbandry what it is 233. Husbands especiall duty to bee a man of understanding 203. What that understanding is what particulars it stands in 1. In what not viz. Not in an high spirit 2. Not in a rash selfe-wildnesse 3. Not in knowledge without practice 4. Not in yeelding to good counsell without imbracing it 5. Not in giving counsell to others taking none our selves 204. 205. 206. Secondly in what it consists 1. In renouncing our owne understanding 2. To bee first subject to God and so to guide the wife 3. To be more sensible of a burthen then of an honour 4. To bee qualified with a spirit of Grace for all â—ccasions 206. 207. 208. Wastfull Heires overthrowers of their mariages 232. Vnnaturall Husbands language 244. Severall duties of the Husband to the wife Looke Wise Husbands though but meanly parted deserve subjection by the Ordinance 260. Mens Hearts not so tender as womens if they bee right vide Men. I. IEw confuted in his conceit of mariage 2. Joint acts of the maried 4. 1. Ioint Religion 2. Ioint Love 3. Chastity 4. Consent 128. Jealousie between couples most odious p. 182. Remedy for the wronged party ibid. The duty urged ibid. Idlenesse in a mans calling to be avoided 225. Ingrossing many farmes at once ill husbandry 234. Impudency in usurping wives in matters of God taxed 284. God deales with his owne by Judgements and threats and why 328. Godly persons have a slavish part in them as well as a free 329. Judgements of God greivous against uncleannesse In many Branches declared 1. Gods dearest servants not excluded from this sentence of punishment 2. The ofspring of the Adulterer excluded for many generations from the Tabernacle or Temple worship 3. The old penalty of Adultery death without Remedy 4. Severe Judgements executed upon Adulterers do shew it sundry of thâ—m in Scripture and from experience mentioned 5. Manifold markes of wrath upon uncleannesse 1. Vpon the Soule 2. Vpon the Name When men have have failed God hath struck in 3. Beggery 4. Coherence of uncleannesse 1. Vpon the Soule 5. It s the Divels Nest-egge 6. Consequences of mischiefe upon it 7. Vpon the Body 337. to 346. Instruction to men to bee subdued by the terrors of God against it 351. L. COnjugall Love the second mutuall duty of the maried handled 146. Love Matrimoniall being preserved causeth mariage to be honourable ibid. Love of the maried not onely bred by instinct but oftentimes also by other occasions outward inducements and motives 147. 148. Love conjugall neither onely a naturall nor yet a religious thing but a mixture of both 150. Love necessary for sundry reasons ibid. Love though a joint duty of both the parties yet hath a different carriage in either and what 152. Love will not nourish it selfe but must be nourished daily betweene couples 155. and by what meanes it may be so 156. Admonition to the joint practise of conjugall Love 157. Danger of the breach thereof 158. Exhortation to Love jointly 159. M. MAriage is honourable The maine doctrine proved and reasoned at large by 4. reasons 1. In respect of the party 2. The nature of mariage 3. The use of it 4. The sacrednes from p. 4. to the 9. Mariage abhorred by the base life of many couples 13. Mariage no buckler to fence off reproach in bad causes 15. Mariage no loose nor idle way of service 18. Encouragement to religious Maried couples 19. Miseries shunned by good couples ibid. Married couples must serve God in their time 20. Marying in the Lord what Some markes of it 1. Sight of unworthinesse of this favor 2. They see a reconciliation 3. Their hearts are broken by it 4. They being convinced of Gods ends beleeve it 5. From hence they are encouraged to obey Other lesser markes added 22. to 24. Rash Matches unblest 24. Iewels of the Marriage Ring 4. 1. Faith with humility and selfe deniall 2. Peace 3. Purity 4. Righteousnesse 25. Trials of Mariages many ibid. By ends in Mariage oft plagued by God 26. Objections concerning Mariage answered 28. 29. 30. 31. The Man having the leading hand in the onset of Mariage had need be the wiser in his choice 57. Touching Marying in the Lord three questions answered 58. Apt Marying is as necessary for entrance as Religious Marying 60. Mariage must bee honoured in preserving the same unsteined during the conversation of it 126. Maried persons who forsake their owne fellowship in worship and run to strangers with complaints faulty 136. Mariage dishonoured by base trades and courses of life 232. Mens hearts not generally so tender and zealous as womens if they be right 309. Mariage is a shaddow of the spirituall union of Christ and the Church p. 321. 1. In their meeting and Mariage it selfe and how 2. In their mutuall converse 1. What Christ is to his Church 2. What his Church is to him 322. 323. Doubts concerning Marying in the Lord answered eight of them p. 28. 1. Many do well wanting Religion 2. It may grow in time afterward 3. Many have failed in seking good wives 4. Many
A question Answered Wherin Consent stands In 3. â—hâ—â—gs 1 In consent of heart as cheefe Ezek. 1. 19. 2 Consent in speech necessary for the married 2. Kings 3. 7. Pro. 27. 19. 3 Consent in common life and occasions of it 2. Sam. 3. 36. Reproofe Vulgar guise of marâ—yed ones rude and rusticall The Dissentions of religious Couples the shame of profession Amos. 3. 3. Pro. 26. 19. Humâ—liation to all faulty couples Prov. 20. 3. The duty urged Luk. 6. 27. 28. 29. Admonition 1. Bee not too coâ—fiâ—ent of your selves in a tempt of marriage 2 King 8. 13. â—er 31. 18. 19. Caveat 2. Pâ—â—y for this â—weet gâ—ft of 〈◊〉 Aâ—â—ablenesse Phil. 4. Luâ— 22. 19. Caveat 3. Put on the Lord Iesus his meeknesse Râ—m 12. end Coloss 3. Mark 4 39. 1. Sam. 4. 5. Iob. 1. 19. 1. King 18. 44. Caveat 4. Renounce not God to use Carnall shifts Caveat 5. Keepe each party the bounds of his place Caveat 6. Bee prepared for the hardest before 1 Sam. 25. Exhortation to the married to use cordiall Consent What is to be done by both after a difference even to repent and be humblâ—d Iudg. 9. 9. 13. 1. King 6. 7. Esay 42. 3. 4. Mâ—th 18. 7. Exod. 8. 3. Philip. 4. 7. Conclusion of this mayne duâ—y Coherence of the points First Peculiar duty of the husband to be a man of understanding With this is 1. Pet. 3. 7. Particulars wherin it consists First in what it consists not Dan. 4 30. Not in an high spirit Pro. 17 27. Tim. 1. 3. 5. Not in a rash self willednesse Ioh. 19. 22. Psal 12. 4. To know but not practise Not to give way to good Counsell but no following it Nor to give Counsell to ethâ—r and not to himselfe Second branch what is to bee a man of understanding 1 King 3. 7. 9. To renounce our owne understanding Pro. 30. 2. 1. Sam. 18. 18. 1. Sam. 25 41. To be first Subject to God and so â—â—govern others Matth. 8. 9. The third To be more sensible of a burden then of an honor To be qualified with a Spirit of all sorts as occasion requires Particulars of this generall two It appears in matters of God Instances wherein Cant. 8 3. The backwardnesse of most husbands in this kynd Vnderstanding in matters outward requisite for the man Reproofe Husbands not walking as meÌ„ of understanding to be blamed Pro. â—4 31. Terror Husbands who cannot guide themselves worse Instruction Many waves justly stumble at the folly of their husbands 1. Cor. 11. 14. Passages of folly in husbands Instance Instance Instance Instance Conclusion with exhortation to husbands to bee men of understanding Cohabitation of the man with the wife necessary 1 Cor. 7 10. Humiliation to all that refuse to cohabite Reproach of Seperaters Ruth 1. 16. Second severall duty of the Husband Providence Eccles 2. 26. Iob. 5. 7. Math. 6. 25. 26 1. Tim. 5. 8. Prov. 27. 23. 1. Cor. 7. 33. Reason of it in generall he honors his marriage by 〈◊〉 and how Ephes 3. 15. In what consists it First in the through skill in the Trade of his way Prov. 6. 6. Shunning unlawfull trades He must get wisedome insight not scorning them that can direct Curiosity in trades must be abhorred There must be a stocke lesse or more to occupie Iob. 7. 8. Application of himselfe to his Object with diligence Prov. 10. 4. Rules for diligent improvement Prov. 16 3. Begin it with God Psal 127. 1. Esay 30. 7. Rule 2. Yet destroy not thine owne Prov. 1. 32. Prov. 18 9. Rule 3. Bâ—waâ—e of pâ—king quareis with thy Calling Rule 4. Subjection to God in a Calling Deut. 33. 8. 9. 10. 1. Tim. 2 15. Prov. Rule 5. Ayme not at bâ—arding up â—r multiplying tâ—y estate Rule 6. Serve God with thy encrease Psal 16. 2. 3. Eccles 11. 1. Rule 7. Tâ—ke losses as well as gaynes patiently and contentedly Iob. 42. 10. Rule 8. Be joâ—full in all thy labor uâ—der the sun Pâ—oâ— 5. 18. Iob. 31. 27. Deut. 26. Luke 1. 46. 47. Heb. 3. 17. Reproofe Branch Carelesse deserters of their wives odious Branch Neglecters of learning their Trade Lyvers upon their usury odious Improvidence under color of Religion vicious Branch 4. 〈◊〉 â—â—ing courses dishonor marriage Yong heires wâ—â—stfull overthrowing their Marriages Digression admon tory to Parents Branch 2. Vndiscreet borrowings overstockings uâ—dersellings bad husbandry Branch 7. Ingrossing many farms at once Branch 8. Changing of Callings In what respects a man may change or divert from his calling Branch 9. Unsubjection to the Rule of Providence Exhortation The 3. particular duty of the husband respectivenesse Gen. 2. 23. The opening of the point at large Eph. 5. 18. 29. Union the roote of this tendernesse 1 Pet. 3. 7. Nothing gayned by Austerity Wise folks willingly beare with fooles God his Commandement Wee owe it to Christians Wherin this honor and respectivenesse consists Ephes 5. The true Modell and role of tendâ—rnesse is the tendernesse of Christo his Church Particulars of the husbands Tendernes Branch 1. Tendernes to the soule of the wife the first duty of the husband Isa 62. 4. 2. Sam. 13. 3. Branch 2. Tendernes to the Person of the Wife necessary In protection In her repute In her bodily in firmities 2. King 4. 21. Vnnaturall husbands language Ruth 3. 9. Cant. 2. 7. Description of the husbands tendernes to the person of his wife Two extremes of Tenderns Viz Roughnes Vxoriousnes Branch 3. Ingenuity and openheartednesse Josh 6. 8. 2. Sam. 20. 18. Branch 4. Comfort in heavinesse another peece of tendernesse Iob. 33 24. Branch 5. Spare her from excesse of toyl Branch 6. Indugence in all lawfull refreshings Branch 7. Connivance at invincible infirmities Branch 8. Commend her vertues Branch 9. Supply of necessaries and comfortable supports Branch 10. Respectivenesse must be the Counsellor Terror to all base Nabals and a description of such Counsell to the wâ—ongd party The speciall duties of the wife to the husband three The first Duty of the wife Subjection The first Duty of the wife Subjection Ester 1. 24. 1 Cor. 11. 8. 9. Mal. 2. 15. From the penalty of disobedience Gen. 3. 16. roofes 1 Tim. 2. 13. 1 Cor. 11. 7. 1 Pet. 3. 1. Ephes 5. 21. 1 Pet. 3. 5. 6. Caâ—ech in part 1. and 3. article Colos 1. â—0 Hos 2. 21. 2â— He hath recollected all things both in heaven and earth by Christ Col. 1. 20. Pet 3. 4. Hereby she preserves the honor of her marriage Ruth 3. 11. Subjection what it is Subjection two-fold 1. Pet. 3 4. Of the spirit 2. Sam. 6. 20. Husbands though but meanlye parted deserve subjection by the Ordinance Exceptions in some cases against the womans subjection In case of unlawfull commands 1. Pet. 3â— 2. Further qualification of the womans Subjection In prompting the husband with Religions Counsell In cases of difficulty and hazard Branch 2d Subjection of practice wherin three particulars The 1. In matters of