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A57009 The works of F. Rabelais, M.D., or, The lives, heroic deeds and sayings of Gargantua and Pantagruel with a large account of the life and works of the author, particularly an explanation of the most difficult passages in them never before publish'd in any language / done out of French by Sir Tho. Urchard, Kt., and others. Rabelais, François, ca. 1490-1553?; Urquhart, Thomas, Sir, 1611-1660. 1694 (1694) Wing R104; ESTC R29255 455,145 1,095

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of the softness of the said Doun and of the temperate heat of the Goose which is easily communicated to the Bumgut and the rest of the Intestines insofar as to come even to the Regions of the Heart and Brains And think not that the Felicity of the Heroes and Demigods in the Elysian Fields consisteth either in their Asphodele Ambrosia or Nectar as our old Women here use to say but in this according to my judgment that they wipe their Tails with the Neck of a Goose holding her Head betwixt their Legs and such is the Opinion of Master Iohn of Scotland CHAP. XIV How Gargantua was taught Latin by a Sophister THE good Man Grangousier having heard this discourse was ravish'd with Admiration considering the high reach and marvellous understanding of his Son Gargantua and said to his Governesses Philip King of Macedon knew the great Wit of his Son Alexander by his skilful managing of a Horse for his Horse Bucephalus was so fierce and unruly that none durst adventure to ride him after that he had given to his Riders such devillish falls breaking the Neck of this Man the other Man's Leg braining one and cracking another's Jaw-bone This by Alexander being considered one day in the Hippodrome which was a place appointed for the breaking and managing of great Horses he perceived that the fury of the Horse proceeded meerly from the fear he had of his own shadow whereupon getting on his back he run him against the Sun so that the shadow fell behind and by that means tamed the Horse and brought him to his hand Whereby his Father perceiving his marvellous Capacity and divine Insight caused him most carefully to be instructed by Aristotle who at that time was highly renowned above all the Philosophers of Greece After the same manner I tell you that by this only discourse which now I have here had before you with my Son Gargantua I know that his Understanding doth participate of some Divinity and that if he be well taught and have that Education which is fitting he will attain to a supream degree of Wisdom Therefore will I commit him to some learned Man to have him indoctrinated according to his Capacity and will spare no cost Presently they appointed him a great Sophister-Doctor called Master Tubal Holophernes who taught him his ABC so well that he could say it by heart backwards and about this he was Five Years and three Months Then read he to him Donat facet theodolet and Alanus in parabolis About this he was Thirteen Years six Months and two Weeks But you must remark that in the mean time he did learn to write in Gottish Characters and that he wrote all his Books for the Art of Printing was not then in use And did ordinarily carry a great Pen and Inkhorn weighing above Seven thousand Quintals the Pen-case vvhereof vvas as big and as long as the great Pillar of Enay and the Horn vvas hanged to it in great Iron Chains it being of the vvideness to hold a Tun of Merchand Ware After that vvas read unto him the Book de modis significandi with the Commentaries of Hurtbise of Fasquin of Tropifeu of Gaulhaut of Iohn Calf of Billonio of Berlinguandus and a rabble of others and herein he spent more then Eighteen Years and eleven Months and was so well versed therein that to try Masteries in School-disputes with his Condisciples he would recite it by heart backwards And did sometimes prove on his Fingers ends to his Mother Quod de modis significandi non erat scientia Then was read to him the Compost on which he spent Sixteen Years and two Months And at that very time which was in the Year 1420 his said Praeceptor died of the Pox. Afterwards he got an old coughing Fellow to teach him named Master Iobelin Bridé vvho read unto him Hugotio Flebard Grecism the Doctrinal the Pars the Quid est the Supplementum Marmoretus de moribus in mensa servandis Seneca de quatuor virtutibus cardinalibus Passaventus cum commento and Dormi securè for the Holy-days and other such llke stuff by reading vvhereof he became as vvise as any vve ever since baked in an Oven CHAP. XV. How Gargantua was put under other School-masters AT the last his Father perceived that indeed he studied hard and that although he spent all his time therein yet for all that did he profit nothing but vvhich is worse grew thereby a Fool a Sot a Doult and Block-head whereof making a heavy complaint to Don Philip of Marays Viceroy of Papeligosse he found that it were better for his Son to learn nothing at all then to be taught such like Books under such School-masters because their Knowledge was nothing but all Trifle and their Wisdom Foppery serving only to basterdize good and noble Spirits and to corrupt the Flower of Youth That it is so take said he any Young Boy of this time who hath only studied two Years if he have not a better Judgment a better Discourse and that expressed in better Terms then your Son with a compleater Carriage and Civility to all manner of persons account me for ever hereafter a very clounch and baconslicer of Brene This pleased Grangousier very well and he commanded that it should be done At night at supper the said Don Philip brought in a young Page of his of Ville-gouges called Eudemon so neat so trim so handsom in his Apparel so spruce with his Hair in so good Order and so sweet and comely in his behaviour that he had the resemblance of a little Angel more than of a human Creature Then he said to Grangousier Do you see this young Boy He is not as yet full twelve years old let us try if it like you what difference there is betwixt the knowledge of the Dunces Mateologian of old time and the young Lads that are now The Tryal pleased Grangousier and he commanded the Page to begin Then Eudemon asking leave of the Vice-Roy his Master so to do vvith his Cap in his hand a clear and open countenance beautiful and ruddy Lips his Eyes steady and his Looks fixed upon Gargantua with a youthful modesty standing up strait on his feet began to commend him first for his Vertue and good Manners secondly for his knowledg thirdly for his Nobility fourthly for his bodily accomplishments and in the fifth place most sweetly exhorted him to reverence his Father with all due observancy vvho was so careful to have him well brought up in the end he prayed him that he vvould vouchsafe to admit of him amongst the least of his Servants for other Favour at that time desired he none of Heaven but that he might do him some grateful and acceptable Service all this was by him delivered vvith such proper gestures such distinct Pronunciation so pleasant a Delivery in such exquisite fine Terms and so good Latin that he seemed rather a Gracchus a Cicero an Aemilius of the time past then a
the end it might be underdood by what means in so long time his old Masters had made him such a Sot and Puppy He disposed therefore of his time in such fashion that ordinarily he did awake betwixt eight or nine a clock whether it was day or not for so had his ancient Governors ordained alledging that which David saith Vanam est vobis ante lucem surgere Then did he tumble and toss wag his Legs and wallow in the Bed sometime the better to stir up and rouse his vital Spirits and apparell'd himself according to the Season But willingly he would wear a great long Gown of thick Freeze furred with Fox-Skins Afterwards he combed his Head with a Comb de al-main which is the four Fingers and the Thumb for his Praeceptors had said That to comb himself otherways to wash and make himself neat was to lose time in this World Then he dung'd pist spued belch'd crack'd yawn'd spitted cough'd vexed sneez'd and snotted himself like an Arch-deacon And to fortifie against the Fog and bad air went to breakfast having some good fried Tripes fair Rashers on the Coals good Gamons of Bacon store of good minc'd Meat and a great deal of sippet-Brewis made up of the Fat of the Beef-pot laid upon Bread Cheese and chopt Parsley strew'd together Ponocrates shew'd him that he ought not to eat so soon after rising out of his Bed unless he had performed some Exercise before-hand Gargantua answer'd What have not I sufficiently well exercised my self I have wallow'd and roll'd my self six or seven turns in my Bed before I rose Is not that enough Pope Alexander did so by the advice of a Iew his Physician and lived till his dying day in despite of his Enemies My first Masters have used me to it saying That to eat Break-fast made a good memory and therefore they drank first I am very well after it and dine but the better And Master Tubal who was the first Licentiat at Paris told me That it was not enough to run apace but to set forth betimes So the total Welfare of our humidity doth not depend upon drinking switter swatter like Ducks but in being at it early in the Morning Vnde versus Lener matin n' est point bon heur Boire matin est le meilleur To rise betimes is good for nothing To drink betimes is Meat and Clothing After a good Breakfast he went to Church and they carried to him in a great Basket a huge Breviary weighing what in Grease Clasps Parchment and Cover little more or less than Eleven hundred and six Pounds There he heard six and twenty or thirty Masses This while to the same place came his Mattin-mumbler muffled up about the Chin round as an Hoop and his breath pretty well antidoted with the Vine-tree-sirrup With him he mumbled all his Kiriels which he so curiously thumbed and finger'd that there fell not so much as one Bead of them to the Ground As he went from the Church they brought him upon a Dray drawn with Oxen a confused heap of Patinotres of Sante Claude every one of the bigness of a Hatblock and sauntring along through the Cloysters Galleries or Garden he riddled over more of them than sixteen Hermites would have done Then did he study some paltry half-hour with his Eyes fix'd upon his Book but as the Comedy has it His mind was in the Kitchen Pissing then a whole pot full he sate down at Table and because he was naturally flegmatic he began his Meal with some dozens of Gammons dried Neats Tongues Botargos Sauciges and such other fore-runners of Wine in the mean while four of his Folks did cast into his mouth one after another continually mustard by whole shovels full Immediately after that he drank a horrible draught of White-Wine for the comfort of his Kidneys When that was done he eat according to the Season Meat agreeable to his Appetite and then left off eating when his Belly was like to crack for fulness As for his drinking he had in that neither end nor rule for he was wont to say That the limits and bounds of drinking were that a Man might drink till the Cork of his Shooes swells up half a foot high CHAP. XXII The Games of Gargantua THen with a starched phys mumbling over some Scraps of a scurvie grace he wash't his Hand in fresh wine pick't his Teeth with the foot of a hog and talked merrily with his People then the Carpet being spred they brought plenty of Cards many Dice with great store and abundance of checkers and chess-boards There he played At Flusse At Primero At the beast At the rifle At trump At the prick and spare not At the hundred At the peenie At the unfortunate Woman At the fib At the pass ten At one and thirty At post and pair or even and sequence At three hundred At the unlucky man At the last couple in Hell At the hock At the surlie At the Lanskenet At the cukoe At puffe or let him speak that hath it At take nothing and throw out At the marriage At the frolic or Jack-daw At the opinion At who doth the one doth the other At the sequences At the Ivory bundles At the tarots At losing load him At he 's gulled and esto At the torture At the handruf At the click At honours At Love At the chesse At Reynold the Fox At the squares At the cowes At the Lottery At the chance or mum-chance At three dice or maniest bleaks At the Tables At the Nivinivinack At the lurch At doublets or queens-game At the failie At the French Tictac At the long Tables or Ferkeering At feldown At Tods body At needs must At the Dames or Draughts At bob and mow At primus secundus At mark-knife At the keyes At span-counter At even and odd At cross or pile At ball and huckle-bones At Ivory balls At the billiards At bob and hit At the Owle At the charming of the hare At pull yet a little At trudgepig At the Magatapies At the horn At the flower Oer Shrove-tide oxe At the Madge-owlet At pinch without Laughing At prickle me tickle me At the unshoing of the Ass. At the cocksess At hari hohi. At I set me down At earle beardie At the old mode At draw the spit At put out At gossip lend me your sack At ramcod ball At thrust out the harlot At marfeil figs. At nicknamrie At stick and hole At boke or him or flaying the Fox At the branching it At trill Madam or graple my Lady At the Cat selling At blow the Coal At the rewedding At the quick and dead judge At unoven the iron At the false clown At the flints or at the ninestones At to the crutch hulch back At the Sanct is found At hinch pinch and laugh not At the leek At Bumdockdousse At the loosegig At the hoop At the sow At belly to belly At the dales or straths At the twigs At the quoits At