she was nursed her whole time This day I observed from Lev. 26. Gods way of dealing outwardly with his People either in mercy or affliction according to their obedience or disobedience but though they have sined and brought punishment upon themselves yet upon their confession of sin humbling of their hearts and accepting of their punishment God remits their sins and removes the punishment this day God in his providence ordered that I should hurt and bruise my Leg which might have been much worse I humbly praise God for it and hope to profit by it This day my heart was very much enlarged softened and quickened in Prayer twice but especially once and raised through the power of God exceedingly to be willing to suffer I learnt 1. To beware of sleight and short repentance a thing I often consider off 2. To fear secret self conceitedness after the well performing of a duty 3. To take heed of the corrupting Flies of vain thoughts and idle words 4. From Pâ—ov 24.1 Not to desire the company of evil men 5. To see consider look and receive instruction from the Evil of others 6. That such as do the will of God but not with a good end shall be punished Hos 1.4 This day I was troubled with vain and wandering thoughts in solemn duties yet was made sensible of them and in some measure resisted them effectually I Learned from Prov. 25.22 how to perform my duty towards my Enemies and from chap. 26. 26. the danger of keeping secret sins that God will discover them before the Congregation God favoured me this day with kindness from and affected me somewhat with the relation and reading of Gods wonderful and strange works at which I desire to stand in admiration and to fear and tremble also to be affected with the sufferings of other Saints that differ from me I observed also from Prov. 26.23 How a wicked Hea t may be covered and undisceâ—ned as a Potshe d covered with dross also from chap 27.12 the Character and care of a prudent man viz. to foresee the evil and hide himself and from 2. Tim. 1. to learn to partake of sufferings and not to be ashamed of sufferers This day though I rose earlyer then ordinary yet through the multiplicity and continuance of company I made not such good impâ—ovement thereof I cannot say I profited much or gained or learned any thing unless it w re from P ov 27.12 That a prudent man foreseeth the evil and hideth himself also from 2. Tim. 2.11.12 I â—â—se ved great encouragement to suffer for Christ because we shall live and raign with him also to labour to be pure fit Vessels for the Lord to follow aâ—ter Righteousness Faith Peace Charity c. I was convinced this day of four things I was too negligent in viz. Studying the Scriptures sending to the Christians especially those to whom I relate finishing somewhat I intended and begun and improving my Talent in this place more to the benefit of other poor Souls I had my heart softened and in some measure enlarged this day in Prayer and truely affected with some Christians that came to see me I had some comfortable considerations from three promises Prov. 28.10 20 26. The upright shall have good things in possession who so walketh â—prightly shall be saved and who so walketh wisely shall be delivered I had also comfortable from Hos 3 4.5 Compared together and was put to consideâ— those in 2. Tim. 3.2 c. This morning though too slothful I had some bâ—eathings of the Spirit of the Lord and kindled affections in Pâ—ayer those words in Prov. 29.25 were some comfort and support to me the fear of man bringeth a sâ—aâ—e but who so putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe among other considerations I had this day 1. I considered that it was the needfulâ—st thing in a dangerous time to get assurance of Gods favour and salvation and to make hast to repent and return to the Lord. 2. To consider our spiritual warfare and to qâ—iâ— our selves like Christians in striving for victory over our â—piritual Enemies I had comfort from that blessed pâ—omise Ier. the 33.7 8. Thâ—s dâ—y I had no great benefit to my Soul only from Hos 4 8.10 12. I observed 1. That to have the heart set on iniquity 2. To leave off taking need to the Lord. 3. To lose the heart or have it indisposed to good 4. To go from under God 5. To be left â—o â—â—n oâ— igno ant of the mind of the Loâ—d are most sad things alâ—o from the 2. Tim. 4. 1. To Watch 〈◊〉 all â—hiâ—g 2. Endure 3. To be doing our pâ—esâ—nâ— duty 4. Looking for our cha ge and dâ—â— nâ—â—ng oâ— God to be kept â—â—om evil were mâ—â—â—asoâ—â—â—e preâ—â—nt Lâ—ssons I â—ound some softnâ—sâ— â—â—nâ—eâ—ity of heart thiâ— daâ— and h d tâ—re speâ—â—â—â—â—d 〈◊〉 in things in my hea t to deâ—iâ—e â—â—om Coâ—â— 1. 〈◊〉 A th ough repentâ—nce 〈◊〉 recoveâ—y 〈◊〉 of foâ—mer sins 2. To be perâ—â—ctly pâ—â—served â—o the â—â—â—e to come from evil 3. To be 〈◊〉 or my dissolution or sufferings I received much kindness from the Lord this day the words in Hos 5.15 Till they acknowledge their iniquity or be guilty I considered and thought I câ—â—e short thereof yet those words Prov. 28.13 He that confesseth and forsaketh his sin shall find mercy This day I injoyed some measure of the Spirit in softening and drawing out of my heart in Prayer and somewhat in beleiving and tenderness towards others and those words Eccles 3 18. Of Gods manifesting unto men that they are but Beasts I desired to apply and to take heed of being guilty of any of those sins mentioned Hos 4. 1. Of setting the heart upon any iniquity verse the 8. 2. Of leaving to take heed to the Lord. 3. Of losing the heart or growing heartless in good 4. Of going from under God also from Titus the 1.14 not to give heed to the Commandments of men This was a day wherein God abounded in kindness towards me yet I was convinced that I was not guilty enough or sensible enough of mine iniquities as God requires Hos 5.15 and from Titus 2. I learned that a true Christian especially a Minister of the Gospel should be 1. Sound in doctrine 2. Sound in Faith and sound in Speech And concernining beleiving I had three things 1. To study more the grounds of Faith and the reasons inducing thereto 2. Not to give way to any thing against beleiving 3. To maintain Faith by holiness This day God was pleased to enlarge my heart in good and to weaken corruption making me sensible also of the present evils both of sin and suffering I learned from Titus 3.8.9 That Râ—generation Justification and Adoption are of Gods Love Pitty Mercy and meer Grace also to be ready to diligent in and profited by every good work and to be angry with my self for sinful things and deny my self in lawful things oh my trouble
that by Faith only without Works before God Rom. 3.23 25. Rom. 4.1 5. Yet that Faith which justifies cannot be alone but is accompanied with good Works which justifies Believers before Men and manifests their Faith to be a True and living Faith Iames 2.17 18. as the Fruits of Trees do shew the nature of them but are no causes of their Root Life or Growth Justification is wholly of Gods Grace through the Redemption Righteousness and Blood of Jesus Christ Rom. 3.24 25. whereby those who truly believe in him have all their sins forgiven which will never be imputed nor remembred against them any more Romans 3.22 26. Hebr. 10.14.17 True Faith also by which the soul looks on Christ takes hold on him receives him becomes one with him and whereby Christ dwells in the Hearts of Believers is the gift of God Iohn 6.44 65. Eph. 2.8 3.17 Concerning the Spirit of Adoption and Regeneration 1. All those that truly believe God gives unto them Power or rather as the word 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 signifies Right or Priviledge to become his children Iohn 1.12 and they receive the Spirit of Adoption by which they are led and enabled to come with confidence and boldness unto God and to call him Father through Iesus Christ Rom. 8.14.15 Gal. 4.5 6. The spirit it self also dwells and abides in them as the chiefest evidence of their being the children of God Iohn 14.16 17. Rom. 8.16 1 John 4.13 2. Regeneration Sanctification and Repentance which are the same in effect is a renewing of the Heart and a subduing and cleansing of the Power and Filth of sin with a quickning of the soul to live like Christ these are absolutely necessary to salvation John 3.3 5. Rom. 6 c. Yet these also as well as Faith are the gifts and works of God which he giveth through and for the sake of his Son and works by his Spirit in those whom he intends to save Ezek. 36.26 27 28. Acts 11.18 c. 3. No man much less all men hath by nature or before his conversion either the Spiritual light or true Faith or Christ or his Spirit in them or a will or love to that which is spiritually good or power to come to Christ or to be subject to his Law and Will but by nature and before conversion the best are blind unbelieving without Christ and without the Spirit unwilling wilful weak and wicked John 3.5 6. Rom. 5.6 8.7 Eph. 2.1 2 c. Yet sinning against the Light and Law of Nature and not worshipping God according to what is revealed of him by the works of Creation they are left inexcusable Rom. 1.20 21. Concerning Redemption from the Curse of the Law All true Believers are really and actually redeemed from the Curse and power or Dominion of the Law and are under Grace or the Blessings Promises and Privileges of the Covenant of Grace both Temporal and Eternal Rom. 6.14 7 4 6. Gal 3.13 On the contrary all Unbelievers and wicked persons are and remain under the Law and Covenant of works Gal. 5.4 Concerning the two Covenants From the beginning of the world there have been two Covenants in being viz. The Covenant of Grace and the Covenant of works called the Law and the Gospel and all and every person in the world have been and are under one of them the first requiring the Obedience of works the other the Obedience of Faith and these are the conditions of the two Covenants Rom. 10.4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11. Heb. 8.7 8. c. 10.15 16 c. 22. Concerning Perseverance in Grace Those that do truly believe and are once in and under the New Covenant and in the true grace of God as the Apostle speaks Rom. 5.2 cannot absolutely fall and utterly perish for they are passed from death to life John 5.24 they are in Christ and God the Fathers hand John 10.28 29. they have the Spirit abiding in them unto eternal life 1 John 3.24 they sit together in heavâ—â—ly places in Christ Eph. 2.5 6. and he makes intercession for them John 17.20 and the Decree Oath and Promises of God are sure to all the seed Rom. 4.16 that they shall not depart from God Jer. 32.40 1 Iohn 3.9 and that he will never leave nor forsake them Heb. 13-5 6. and that he or every one that believeth shall be saved Mark 16.16 and shall not come into condemnation for there is no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus Rom. 8.1 Concerning assurance of Salvation i. Believers are to be exhorted to make their calling and election sure 2 Pet. 1.10 and this they may certainly attain unto for God hath promised it Christ hath prayed for it and many of the Saints have attained unto it 1 John 2.3 5. 3.14 c. 2. Though there are many signs and evidences of the truth of grace laid down in the Scripture and such as Believers may find in themselves as Love to God and to his people respect to all Gods Commands and hatred to sorrow for and power against all in-bred corruption c. Yet the chiefest and most undoubted evidence is the spirit it self 1 Iohn 3.24 4.13 and the Witness and Sealing of it Rom. 8.15 Eph. 1.13 which Believers have most commonly after they believe and not at their first believing Gal. 3.14 and there may be a true Faith mingled with much Doubting Mat. 14.31 and many of the children of light may walk in darkness and be ignorant of their state Isa 50.10 Yet such bruised Reeds God will not break nor quench such smoaking Flax i. e. such weak and Doubting Christians or their Faith till he bring forth Judgment into victory or help them to overcome Mat. 12.20 21. 3. It is possible also that such believers as have attained unto a full Assurance may afterwards either through the hiding of Gods countenance for Tryal of them or by falling into some great sin or by some sore and violent temptation or through their Remissness in Religious Duties or the like have their Assurance darkned shaken and weakned and thereby their Souls may be much troubled and discomforted Psal 30.7 Cant 2.1 2. 5.2 3 c. yet in their darkest and most doubting condition they cleave unto the Lord remember his former dealings acknowledge these doubts to be their Infirmities and they find and feel some workings of the Spirit and Grace within them and still continue in Prayer and other Ordinances waiting upon the Lord till he return unto them revive them restore the joy of his Salvation and settle them in their old Estates as he hath promised For this read Psal 22. 51. 77. throughout Lam. 3. Isa 8.17 50.10 c. Concerning Growth and Perseverance in Grace 1. Those that have true Grace whether little or much they should labour to grow therein and to add one Grace to another going from strength to strength perfecting holiness in the fear of God and still
at the time or nature of sufferings 8 To know remember confess and bewaile many sins which I was long ago guilty of 9. To search and find out many weaknesses which I was guilty of in Preaching perticularly levity setting forth Self and natural paâ—ts too much 10. To understanâ— divers Scriptures clearer and better I hope then I did before 11. To withdraw my eyes ear and heart from tempting objects Being the Lords day I was in the morning refreshed p ivately and in the afternoon the Lord was pleased to meet with my condition unexpectedly in two things also I observed the special care of the Church to please Christ and her fear to displease him mentioned three times Cant. 2.7 and 3.5 8.4 This day from Isa 1. God poynted out two things to me 1 To cease from sin cease to do evil verse 16. 2 I will take away all thy â—in ver 25. I also apprehended that the Pâ—ophesy in that 2 chap. is not yet fulfilled compare verse 4.19 21. together and those words in verse the 9 forgive them not c. This day I had a strong conviction of the sin of resisting or neglecting the motions of the spirit and upon a temptation to give way to sinful thinking I found power to side with and imbrace the spirits motions rather then the other I had a Letter from C. R. P. that refreshed me I was observing that when the Lord doth intend to secure a person preserve it he doth sanctifiâ— purge it that from Isa 4.4.5 ye or when he doth intend to make use of a man 2 Tim. 2.20.21 two other Scriptures I hope were lâ—â—d to my heart 2 Kings 10.9 But Jâ—hâ— took no heed to walk in the Law of the God of â—sâ—â—el withal hâ—s heart but espe ially to take heed of sin of trespassing in affliction more against the Lord 2 â—n on â—8 22. two sins I was likewise convinced of â—mâ—pend ng time and doing nothing extrao dinary for God and having a very streight dry hâ—â—â—rowâ— d God his cause people and wayes This dâ—y â—â—ing pâ—â—t of it spent in prayer I found my heart so â—e â—hat affected though often moâ—e my soul was vâ—â—y desiâ—oâ—s â—o have power over my affections 〈◊〉 I observed from Isa the 5 5. That when God doâ—h take aâ—â—â— me cy he doth the same time give men up â—o judgement bâ—t in thâ— 13 verse of that Chap. there S n â—xcellenâ— promise that when the Lord is exalted the lambs shall feed af er their manner that Sâ— in â—â—e Phil. 1.29 For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ was I get to me i. e. by grace from 〈◊〉 his â—â—ke to beleive and sâ—ffer or on his behal i. e. foâ— taking part with Christ ye suffer I was assaulted to the morning with temptations yet after some diâ—tuâ—bance had some freedome from them yâ—â— observed a seasonable word from Isa 6.6.7 That as soon as hâ— Angel had taken the live coal from the Altaâ— and touched and laid it upon the Prophets mouth declared that his iniquityes were taken awâ—y and his sin purged so God can easily and speedilâ—â—â—move â—â—n from any other Saint This â—â—â—â—ning having some p ovacation I found my â—elâ—â—eâ—dy p esen ly to be moâ—d it 〈…〉 against him that accused â—e 〈…〉 towards my self also too much inclination to self justification suitable also in my course of reading was that Scripture Isa 7.12 where Ahaz thinking at least seemingly to avoid tempting God by asking a signe run into another sin viz. disobedience and Rebellion against God This day I had some full refreshings from the Lord and a fuller sence of things upon my heart then ordinary This was a day of light affliction upon my body of pain in my back which I supposed might have incâ—eased and heightned to a heavier distemper but â—he Loâ—d removed it by his bâ—essing upon small means I was dâ—awn out in my spi it to pâ—aise God for it â—as also to observe how the profits did take notice how the hand of the Lord was stretched out still Isa 9 12.17 â—0 4 whence I would learn to obsâ—ve the hand of God in affliction also I took notice of two sore evils in the people under affliction 1. Not to return unto the Lord 2. not to seek him in affliction yet two special promises chap. 10.20.21 That they should stay upon the Lord and return to the mighty God Thiâ—â—ay being the Lords day I had some real breathings of the spirit of the Lord in prayer as I conceived also freedome from temptation and a heart to praise God â—or it in some degree I was taken up with several thoughts which often amuze me 1. Of the word Patience of God 2. of his special love to me rather then others 3. of his infinite wisdome and power in the resurrection of man I had many observations as from Isa 11.3 that Christ a spirit of quick understanding or scent or smell as t is in the margent in the fear of the Lord such a spirit would I have I was also strongâ—y perswaded that that Chapter was not yet fulfilled also sweet was that word to me Chap. 12.1 Though thou wast angry with me thine anger is turned away and thou comfortest me This morning I was troubled with sinful thoughts and truly there are the sins that trouble me most but I found a heaâ—t to pray against them earnestly But God brought a most sweet word in a sweet manner to me viz. Ier. 13.19 Thou shalt call me thy father and shall not turn from me also another word in Chap. 5.10 Go up upon her walls but make not a full end â—lso from Isa 14.3 The Lord shall give thee rest from thy sorrow and from thy fear and from thy hard bondage and in the 30. verse the needy shall lye down in safety Some experiences recorded by him in a sickness he had the 3. of the 3 month 1658. Isay 28.9 The writing of Hezekiah King of Ind. when he had been sick and recoverd of his sickness 1. VVHen the Lord was pleased to visite me upon the suddain so sharply that I thought li e was flying and death seasing upon me God shewed me that all the world and creatures therein were all helpless 2. Looking up to God with a weak faith and in few words the Lo d was pleased to give some ease and releif by mitigating the pain 3. Afterwards when I came towards my designed place God ordered that some professors should meet with me who shewed mercy both in bringing me into a house and giving notice to brethren 4. That when I came to the house in extreamity of pain the Lord did give me some suddain and sweet sleep for 3 houres or more 5. That both upon the way when I was scarce able to stand and in the house when I was thirsty the Lord did enable me to deny my self that I neither sate down on the grass nor drank both which would have
THE Life and Death OF Mr. VAVASOR POWELL THAT Faithful Minister and Confessor of JESUS CHRIST Wherein his Eminent Conversion Laborious Successful Ministry Excellent Conversation Confession of Faith Worthy Sayings Choice Experiences Various Sufferings and other Remarkable Passages in his Life and at his Death are faithfully Recorded for Publick benefit WITH Some ELOGIES and EPITAPHS by His FRIENDS Heb. 11.4 Who being dead yet speaketh 11.38 Of whom the World was not worthy Rev. 14.13 Blessed are the dead which dye in the Lord they rest from their Labours and their Works follow them Printed in the Year MDCLXXI An Advertisement to the Reader MR. Powel a little before his death spent much time and pains in the composing a new Concordance to the Holy Bible with the chief Acceptations of the principal words in the Old and New Testament having also added marks to distinguish the Commands Promises and Threatnings The same is now Printed for publick good and to be had bound up with the Bible in 8to or in 12 o. at Booksellers Shops in London c. Also bound alone at 2 s. in 12 o. and 2 s. 6 d. in 8to being more usefull than any extant of like volume THE PREFACE THe holy Spirit tells us that whilst the wicked are to perish as their own dung their names rot and memories blotted out and cut off from the Earth That the memory of the Just is to be blessed to be had in everlasting remembrance and as an eternal excelleny they are to be the joy of many Generations And therefore is it that the Pen men of the Scripture have been so careful to transmit to posterity so faithful an account of the Worthies of former Generations to instruct others no doubt in like manner to Record and Preserve the memories of Worthy men in after Generations And surely not without special design of singular use and advantage when we consider First how much it tends to vindicate and preserve the precious savour of their names who for righteousness sake have been vilified and reproached cast out as evil and esteemed as Dung and off scouring And Secondly How much God is like to be glorified on their behalf for puttting so much Heavenly Treasure in Earthen Vessels and so fully magnifying his grace in them and by them Thirdly and especially by the holding forth thos Virtues Graces and Excellencies that shined in them they may though dead yet be speaking and so become living Monuments Patterns Examples and Preachers to them that come after them So that their Faith Love Patience Humility Zeal Courage Wisdom Temperance may provoke instruct and comfort many Their Temptations Tribulations patient Sufferings and Experiences help and strengthen more And of admirable use to the Church no doubt in all ages have been the Books of Martyrs and Lives of the Eminent Saints and Confessors that have done and suffered worthily in their dayes Men for the most part being apter to be Governed by Example than by Precept And therefore are those frequent and special Exhortations Heb. 6.9 Be ye followers of them who through faith and patience have inherited Promises Jam. 5.10 Take my Brethren the Prophets who have spoken to you in the name of the Lord for an Example of suffering affliction and of patience Heb. 13.7 Remember them which had the rule over you whose faith follow considering the end of their conversation Prov. 2.20 That thou mayest walk in the wayes of good men and keep the paths of the Righteous Cant. 1.8 Go thy way forth by the footsteps of the Flock Psal 37.37 Mark the perfect man and behold the upright for the end of that man is peace Heb. 12.1 Wherefore seeing we are also compassed about with so great a Cloud of Witnesses viz. the Catalogue of Eminent Saints Martyrs Confessors in the former Chapter let us lay aside after their Example every weight and the sin which doth so easily beset and let us run with patience the race set before us looking as especially unto Jesus Heb. 12.2 So also to Abraham our Father Es 51.1 That we may walk in his Steps Rom. 4.12 The good Kings in Israel took David for their Pattern and therefore are said to do right as did David their Father walking in his way The evil Kings were said not to walk with him but taking Jeroboam for their Example to follow his steps Fourthly A faithful record of the worth and excellency of good men is of excellent use to help forward the conviction or agravate and further the condemnation of malicious Persecutors who may thereby better understand who they are they have gone forth against what Persons of honour worth and renown and how like the Children of Kings Judg. 8.18 And that the reason of their so lifting up hand and heel against them is no other than theirs of old mentioned 1 Joh. 3.12 Joh. 5.16 Joh. 15.18 19 21. Joh. 16.2 3. 8.44 1 Cor. 2.8 Joh. 7.7 Psal 35.7 And to be informed therefore of that undoubted wrath and vengeance that will certainly overtake all such who not only imbrue their hands in the innocent blood of the Righteous in their day which cries for vengeance against them but become guilty also of all the blood that from the beginning of the World upon like account and in like spirit hath been shed as Mat. 23.34 35. And that what evil in word or deed hath been done to any of the Saints upon the account of Righteousness is reckoned as done to the very person of Christ Mat. 25.31 c. Fifthly That Gods displeasure and voyce of his Rod to the Generation where such stroaks are may be the better felt heard and layed to heart where such persons of worth and excellency are snatcht away such Angels Ambassadours Fathers recalled such shining Stars burning Lights savoury Salt taken away such Chariots and Horsemen of Israel removed foretelling greater judgements also neer at hand and loudly calling for due search after the cause Jer. 2.20 as well as a true repentance and speedy reformation for the same And so is the preserved Memory of the Just blessed to the glory of God to present and future Generations to Saints and Sinners good and bad here and hereafter in this World and that which is to come In which blessed Service is this designed undertaking to be adding another Link to the Chain of Worthies another Witness to the Cloud of Witnesses by endeavouring hereby to recommend and preserve his precious Memory who by the account yet obtained of him you will perceive hath attained so good a degree done so worthily in Ephraâ—a and famously in Bethlehem and certainly obtained a name if not with the three yet among the thirty of our Davids Worthies Which may be more obvious when you consider what is faithfully said of him First In his eminent Conversion who was taken in his Enmity and prophaness led gradually through legal darkness terrours and bonds to Gospel light love and liberty Secondly In his signal temptations
laid his hand of sickness upon me by which I was brought even to the gates of death and in the sight both of Physicians and Friends and in my own expectation I was a dying man yet much more sensible of the danger I apprehended my soul to be in than of my bodily weakness sweating with the horror of it and diligently examining my self by the best signs I could either find at that time oâ— had found before which I had writ down with the grounds of my fear in a little Diary which Book I then desired to see but having lent it to a Christian Friend that was far distant could not so that being satisfied 〈◊〉 lay even at the next door to despair waiting for noâ—hing less than to be suddainly cast into Hell Whilst I was in this Agony the Lord God of all grace who brought back from the depth of the Sea did about noon present to me that Scripture Jo. 3.36 He that believeth 〈◊〉 the Son hath everlasting Life Which words were then revealed to me and opened thus First that there was nothing necessary to Salvation but onely believing in Christ Secondly that to such as did believe in Christ there was a certaintie of Salvation My understanding being cleared in these two particulars I was then to seek and to learn whether I did believe or not and to know that I examined my self what signs of true Faith I had and how I could prove that I did believe and finding no certain evidence being also convinced that I had before many years gone in that way to no purpose I continued still in an hopeless state but upon a suddain and unexpectedly a mighty power no less than that spirit which raised up Christ Jesus from the dead and which declared him to be the Sonne of God did enable me to believe and witnessed effectually in me that I did believe Which divine impression I look upon to be all one with that sealing spoken of in Eph. 1.13 And the witnessing of the Spirit of God with our Spirits Rom. 8.16 and thereupon I had perfect peace my heart not at all condemning me But according to 1 John 3.21 I had a confidence towards God and not only so but my heart likewise was filled wtih admiration and great joy according to that saying Whom having not seen ye love in whom though now you see him not yet believing ye rejoyce with joy unspeakable and full of glory 1 Pet. 1.8 After this manifestation and wonderful operation of God which I could never express either by word or writing so clearly and distinctly as then I apprehended and felt it in my soul The Lord added the mercie of natural life and health and so I experience the fulness of those two Scriptures Heaviness in thâ— heart of man maketh it stoop but a good word maketh it glad Prov. 12.25 And a sound heart is life tâ— the flesh Prov. 14.32 And being restored both to my health and the exercise of my Ministry I waâ— taught by the Lord to preach in another manner than before Namely to lay Christ as the foundation and to Preach chiefly and mainly and qualification and duties in a secondary and subservant way Yet from hence also did Satan take occasion to thrust at me and throw me into the other extream even unto that which is truly and properly called Antinomianisme to destroy and utterly deny the use of the Law but the Lord did timely and graciosly prevent my fall in this also and to fulfil unto me that Scripture He that fears the Lord shall come out of all viz. out of all extreams as the foregoing words do shew Eccles 7.18 To omit many other remarkable providences of God towards me for the space of two years that I was in London as also his goodness to me for some space that I was in the Army I was at length called to Dartford in Kent where indeed Gods favours of several kinds for the space of two years and an half were very many as to own such a nothing Creature and enable me to bring home in that Town and thereabouts I hope to Gods glory I may speak it many souls to Christ where also I gathered a Congregation among whom I had very sweet and comfortable Society After some time of my abode there it pleased the Lord to visit that Town with the Plague where about thirty Houses were shut up at once and the dead bodies were carried by my Chamber wall and window yet it pleased God to preserve me and my Family wonderfully from the Disease although I continued in the Town and preached constantly three times a week and some that had the Sickness upon them came publickly to hear After which the Lord stayed the Plague and delivered me from that affliction also Yet not long after this it pleased the Lord to visit me with a very dangerous Feaver and Ague insomuch as I was in the eyes of all my Friends and in the judgement of Physicians also hopeless as to Life yet God gave me Faith to be healed by that means prescribed James 5. And I sent unto some Godly Preachers in London desiring them to come unto me and perform that duty of anointing me with Oyl And whilst I was waiting for and expecting their answer and questioning whether they would have Faith and freedome to practice the same the Lord brought that Scripture to my remembrance and fixed it upon me Rom. 3.3 Shall unbelief make the Faith of God of none effect or shall they as it was then applyed to me make void the Faith that God hath given me or hinder me of being healed wherupon I was confirmed that it should not but I did believe that God would recover me and accordingly after a suddain and strange trance which I fell into and continued in for about six hours wherin I did sweat abundantly yet discerned not at all during that time how it was with me or what was done for me my sickness presently abated and I recovered Having spent above two years at Dartford and being now upon my return home into Wales I was willing to take along with me a Certificate or Testimonial from the Synod which sate then and had the tryal of all Publick Preachers To this purpose I applyed my self to some of them to whom Mr. Stephen Marshal was one they questioned me about Ordination and told me that unless I would be Ordained they could not approve to which I answered I was willing to be tryed as a Christian and as a Scholar but had some doubts about Ordination as that particularly whether the Eldership mentioned 1 Tim. 4.12 were to be understood of one or more Congregations in which I was not yet satisfied and then addressing my self particularly to Mr. Marshal and reasoning the case with him they at last gave me this following Certificate THese are to Certify those whom it may concern that the bearer hereof Mr. Vavasor Powell is a man of a Religious and blameless
Word of God 2. Not only the outward Letter but the true sense and meaning of Scripture is to be accounted Scripture which appears from 1 Cor. 14 34. Epb. 5.14 Heb. 12.21 Jam. 4.5 Where some things are said to be written which in express and plain words are not written but by good and clear evidence collected thence 3. The Scriptures were written as primarily for Gods glory so also that men might be enlightned converted comforted and have Hope and Eternal life by Believing 2 Tim. 3.14 15 16. Neither do they concern or were written for the use of former Ages and Persons onely but belong to all Ages and Persons even to the end of the world Revelat. 2.3 4. The Scripture contains Milk for Babes and Meat for them that are strong 1 Cor. 3.2 Heb. 5.13 14. And though there be some dark places hard to be undetstood 2 Pet 3.16 Yet what is necessary to salvation is plain and may be understood by the simplest and unlearnedest of the true Disciples of Christ who are taught by the Spirit of God Deut. 29.29 Prov. 6 23. 8.8 9. 28.5 Mat. 13.10 1 Cor. 2.15 1 Joh. 2.20 27. whereas those that otherwise may be very learned yet have not this spirit they understand not the Scriptures but erre and wrest them to their own and others Destruction Isa 29.11 John 7.48 52. 1 Cor. 2.8 14. Mat 22.29 2 Pet. 3.16 5. This word or Scripture is the absolute certain and infallible Rule of Faith and Life or Obedience by which all Spirits Doctrines Men and works to be tryed and no other writings whatsoever though written by the most knowing and holiest of men are to be esteemed of equall authority infallibility and Divine Majesty with these Luke 16.31 1 Iohn 4.1 Isa 8.20 And the Holy Scripture next to the Spirit of God who gave it forth 2 Pet. l. 19.20 21. is she best interpreter of it self All Preaching is to be out of and according to it and nothing to be imposed upon or binding of the Consciences of any but what is contained therein or agreeable thereunto 1 Cor. 2.13 Jer. 23.28 Mat. 28.19 Act. 18.28 28.23 Neither is there any thing to be added to or taken from the Scripture upon pain of everlasting damnation Prov. 30.5 6. Gal. 3.15 Revel 22.18 19. The Principal Doctrines which are declared and I have received from the Scriptures are Concerning God There is but one true living God Deut. 6.4 John 17.3 1 Thes 1.9 c. of whom to whom and through whom are all things Rom. 11.36 1 Cor. 8.6 Eph. 4.6 The only Potentate 1 Tim. 6.15 To whom be Honour and Peace everlasting Amen 2. This God is a Spirit Eternal Immortal Invisible most abundant in goodness mercy and truth to all that love and fear him John 4.24 1 Tim. 1.17 Exod. 34.6 Neh. 9.6 and a rewarder to them that diligently seek him Heb. 11.6 But most just dreadful and terrible to those that hate him and a consuming fire to such as go on in their wickedness Mat. 1.15 Exod. 20.5 Heb. 12.29 Psal 68.21 3. This One God is distinguished into the Father the Word or Son and the Holy Spirit Mat. 3.16 17 28.19 2 Cor. 13.14 Which are not three Gods but one God 1 John 5.7 1 Cor. 12.4 5 6. The Father begetting Psal 2.7 Heb. 1.5 The Son begotten and brought up with the Father from everlasting Prov. 8.22 23 24 30. Micha 5.2 John 1.1 17.24 and the holy Spirit proceeding from both John 14.26 15.26 Gal. 4.6 Concerning the Lord Iesus Christ the Son of God The Word or the Son of God the Lord Jesus Christ is Jehovah Gen. 13.7 16. 18.1 2. 22.11 14. Exod. 19.14 with Heb. 12.27 Isa 6.1 with Iohn 12.41 Isa 45.23 with Rom. 14.10 11. The True and Mighty yea Almighty God 1 Ioh. 5 20. Isa 9.6 Tit. 2.13 Iohn 1.1 2 3. Equal and One with God Iohn 5.18 Phil. 2.6 Iohn 10.30 17.22 He knoweth and discerneth the Thoughts and Hearts of all men Mat. 9.3 4. 12.25 John 2.25 Heb. 4.12 Which evidently with many other undeniable Arguments prove him to be very God of the same Substance and Being with the Father for none but God can know the Heart 1 King 8.39 Jer. 17.10 Concerning the Holy Spirit As the Lord Christ the Son so likewise the holy Spirit is God Acts 5.3 4. 1 Cor. 6.19 20. 2 Cor. 3.17 Acts 28.25 with Isa 6.8.11 12. In the 8th verse of which Chapter the word Vs noting Father Son and Spirit as also Gen. 1.26 is called Jehovah v. 12. shewing that the Son and Spirit are the Lord Jehovah which signifies as the Greek renders it Ex. 3. ' Oâ—â— One that hath his being of himself or as is more fully rendred Rev. 1.4 8. Who is was and is to come Concerning Gods Decrees God to whom all his Works and People were known and foreseen from everlasting Acts 15.18 and who worketh all things according to the Counsel of his Will Eph. 1.11 did Determine and Ordain all things that should come to pass in time Acts 2.23 4.28 17.26 according to his own good pleasure and purpose Eph. 1.5 9. Concerning Election God of his own meer love before the foundation of the world did predestinate and Elect in Jesus Christ a certain number known only to himself as well of Angels as of Mankind to be to the praise of his Grace and to obtain Everlasting Salvation through Jesus Christ Rom. 11.5 Eph. 1.4 1 Pet. 1.2 2 Tim. 2.19 1 Tim. 5.21 Eph. 1.6 1 Thes 5.9 To whom God also in Christ hath given his grace and promised everlasting life before the world began 2 Tim. 1.9 Tit. 1.2 And all these that are so chosen are written in the Lambs Book of Life shall certainly be saved and cannot finally be deceived or fall away Rev. 13.8 20.15 Phil. 4.3 Luke 10.20 Rom. 8.29 30 33 38 39. Mat. 24.24 Rom. 11.7 John 6.37 c. 2. Such of Mankind as were Predestinated and Elected before time were Predestinated and Elected unto to the Adoption of Children that thorough not for nor without Real Sanctification Sprinkling of the Blood of Jesus and Belief of the Truth they might be saved Eph. 1.4 5. Rom. 8.29 30. 2 Thes 2.13 1 Pet. 1.2 Concerning Reprobation All those that were not elected to Salvation as well Angels as Men were by God for the glory of his Sovereign Power and Justice ordained of old to Condemnation or to be dealt with according to Gods Justice for and according to their sins 2 Pet. 2.3 4. Jude v. 4.6 Rom. 9.22 Prov. 16.4 Job 21.30 Jer. 6.30 Concerning Creation That God the Father Son and Spirit did make the World and all the things therein Visible and invisible for himself according to his pleasure and that very good and Man or Adam in particular Perfect and after his own Image Gen. 1 Eccles 7.29 c. Concerning the Fall of Man Some of the Angels now called
professed he had rather be a Martyr then a Monarch so should every Christian It is a special favour and great promotion to suffer Satan accuseth God to Men and Men to God but Christ excuses and answers all his accusations against his People Christians should do as the Shechemites did when their City their own Souls in strength was beaten down fly to their Tower even Christ The true knowledge of Christ brings consolation and the right profession and practice of him persecution When a man is imprisoned and shut up from Men he is the more shut up with God Account it not restraint as long as thy Heart can go out towards God and his People and Wayes in affection and prayer Retiredness and close imprisonment drives a man to hold closer Communion with God and to a stricter search of himself Take heed that preparatory meditation to Prayer doth not prevent Prayer it self or put you besides Prayer One of the radical sins spoken of 1 Iohn 2.16 Is every mans master sin I often found my heart in dayes of Humiliation more affected and melted by the Prayer of weaker then stronger Christians I would be glad to be out of the World when I have no service to do for God in it He that would live for himself onely or cheifly in the World is not worthy to live a day in it If I may have liberty to serve Christ I would have the glory to suffer for Christ Secret Prayer is either a familiar speaking to God or with God or a pouring out of the Heart before God through his Son our Saviour by his spirit Sometimes Ejaculations or short and sudden Pantings and breathings out of desires to God may be more acceptable to him and prevailing with him then long Prayers There may be great difference between the temper of a Christian one time and another yea in the exercising of his Gifts in Praying Preaching c. True Godliness and Hipocrisie are best discerned in turnings and changes either when they change their conditions by Marriages or are exalted to Offices or when new opinions begin to grow Due sin may cause thee more sorrow then all thy sufferings It is happy to dye in the Lord and honourable to dye for the Lord. Sins do dye and fall off from Christians as the Leaves fall from Trees in Autumn by degrees Christians are now as Abraham was driven out of Egypt and come where they were before or into their first State therefore they should offer to the Lord as he did Gen. 13.3.4 God is now spoiling us of what would otherwise have spoiled us Churches gathered in prosperity will hardly stand or continue together in adversity A Child of God may know the weight of sin by Christs sufferings for if that strong Heart of Steel did bend under the weight of our sins what shall poor weak men do which is but a Reed or Rush As our good works and performances should have an operation upon our Souls and Hearts to strengthen Faith so should our weaknesses and sins to work repentance It is a great condescention in God to afflict or lay his hand upon man and in that sence the Apostle exhorts Beleivers not to dispise or think little of the chastning of the Lord. Heb. 12.3 A Beleiver is to shut the Eye of Reason if he will clearly see with the Eye of Faith The promise is a Christian perspective and his Faith the Eye with which he looks through it upon Christ and God the Father in him A Prison or persecution is to a Christian as some scaring thing that one sees in the Night at a distance but when he comes near it and to know it he is not at all afraid of it Seek to find out your own Errors before another find them out and to write your own Errata's VVhen the Lord is trying his People they should be trying themselves Christians should not desire deliverance before the time appointed for that is as if a VVoman should desire to have her Child born before the full and due time Christians are apt to feel and fear punishment more then sin which is the cause of it Gods People must expect in the VVorld the entertainment of Strangers Sins in Saints are like Weeds weeded out of a Garden or Field which lye in the Alleys or Veins but never grow there again A Hypocrite is like a white Stone in the Water amongst other Stones and of that same nature with other Stones there hard heavy cold and inflexable and differs only in colour A true Christian is like a Flint-stone which though it falls into Water yet it keeps and retains Fire in it still so doth he retain his Grace notwithstanding his corruption Labour to act those graces cheifly that are most contrary to your master sins and cheif corruptions The Lord hath Saints enough to devide into three bodies some to suffer for him some to destroy Babilon and some to be for Seed-Corn to sow again in the Earth Learn by lighter Crosses to look and prepare for heavier In two Cases t is hard to Act Faith 1. When there is nothing sensible or visible to second and support it or 2. when there is very much to fil the outward senses It is a very common and ordinary thing for most or all Professors to be in one or two extreams either to over value or under value Instruments Creatures and Ordinances The more Saints do beleive and suffer the more they may expect of the spirit Iohn 7.8 1 Pet. 4.14 Be more thoughtful and careful how to use what you have to Gods glory then to gain more The Lord freely gives and justly takes away The exercising of Graces do naturally destroy sin and the more you abound in Acts of Grace the more you increase the habit Heb. 6.26 The Law causeth sickness of Soul but the Gospel healeth the same When Saints perceive their sins growing weak they should then prosecute them most A Saint is to put forth his Faith in Prayer and afterwards follow his Prayer with Faith In the midest of earthly business the Soul should redeem some special time for secret and private duties It is the will of Christ that Saints should rejoyce more in what Christ hath done for them then in what they have done or can do for him Learn to observe what God gives without asking and what he gives in answer to Prayer for the one begets Thankfulness the other more Prayer Christ kept the Law legally Beleivers kept it Evangelically he perfectly they purposingly and endeavouringly A Beleivers assurance and cheifest joy doth not arise from his sanctification because that is imperfect here in degrees but from his justification Rom. 5.2 1 Pet. 1.8 Look upon Christ first without you then search for him within you God makes us feel him or his hand that he may hear us strokes makes Crys and Whipings mornful complaints to him God troubles us that we may turn to him and leaves us a while for to see
for suffering many months Poverty is the gift God as well as Riches When Saints perceive their sins growing weak they should prosecute them most A wicked man may give good Counsel from God to a good man and he not taking it may be destroyed Pharoh Necho to Iosiah It may be said of many a man that he is honourable and yet a Leaper 2. Kings 5.1 There is no evil in sin but there is some what in the name of Christ that speaks the contrary as sin is darkness so Christ is light c. A Beleiver is to shut the Eye of Reason if he will clearly see with the Eye of Faith The great Principles and Misteries of Divinity 〈◊〉 are to abide in God to live on God to walk with God and to live to God There are three sorts of Gospel Sacrifices 1. Thanksgiving Psal 51.17.19 Amos 4.5 Heb. 13.15 Hos 4.2 2. Liberality to the Poor Mich. 6.8 1 Cor. 16.1.2 2. Cor. 18.19 Heb. 13.16 3. Our selves Rom. 12.1 Sanctifying Thoughts 1. The Thoughts of God free and constant love to me 2. The thoughts of what Christ hath done for me 3. The thoughts of what I have been and done against God 4. The thoughts of what God and Christ are to me and I to them 5. The thoughts of Christs Excellency and some Saints Eminency 6. The thoughts of Death and Judgement 7. The thoughts of what I shall be and shall have hereafter A Christian should be much taken and rejoyce at 1. The least Revelation of Truth 2. The least Communion with God 3. The least additional measure of holiness 4. The least success God gives him in his work T is observed that the first word spoken by Christ in his ministerial office is an assertion to or of the authority of Scripture Mat. 4.4 God is not only the holy one of Israel but the holy one in Israel Ezek. 39.7 By Prayer God doth converse with me by Preaching he doth teach me by Meditation he doth fill me by Saints society he doth warn me by singing Hymnes he doth ravish me by his Supper he doth feed me By his Love he doth endear me to him by his Son embolden me By his Spirit unite me to him By his promises stay me with him Publick Disputations are seldome rightly managed being too often attended either with firceness and frowardness too much insulting over an Adversary if any advantage be gained or be left to oneâ— self in some thing or other to be worsted and shamed Or if some good hath been not to be so ready to give God the glory as in other things A suffering Christian should see that Innocency be the beginning and Patience the end thereof Six necessary Questions that every Christian shoulâ— ask his own Heart 1. Whether I am a Saint or a Hyppocrite a wise or foolish Virgin 2. What are the truest and strongest grounds I have of my Saintship 3. Whether if I be a true Christian is my Spirit Legal or Evangelical 4. With which of the Saints mentioned in Scripture can I most compare my self 5. What are the Reasons in respect of my self why I continue without full assurance 6. What is my master sin and what power hath it in my Soul or I over it God carries on the work of Grace in Believers 1. According to their natural parts and natural constitutions 2. According to the means they are under whether Legal or Evangelical Preaching 3. According to the things he hath to do by them or calls them to suffer 4. According to the shortness or length of time they have to live 5. According as they have been before the Conversion greater or lesser Sinners Recreations the Object and Subject being right must be 1. Not on Lords-days Fast-days c. 2. Not in the Night for it is given for rest 3. When we stand in need of it 4. Seldom 5. Not over-long 6. Not over costly 7. Suitable to mens conditions 8. To a good end In Duties we should 1. Look for to meet and enjoy God 2. Expect to hear and receive from God 3. Return somewhat to God As a Watch must be dayly wound up by him that carries it otherwise it is useless So the Soul must be spiritually wound up by Christ else it will be unuseful and unserviceable Christ hath more to do to bring us to be reconciled to God then to bring God to be reconciled to us Reasons 1. Because God is willing Men unwilâ—ing 2. Because God is satisfied and contented with Christs merits so are not Men. Soul freedome 1. To be freed from doubts of its eternal condition 2. Of scrupulous opinions 3. Of the power of Corruption 4. Of stinging Conviction of the Law 5. Of the fiery fierce temptations of Satan 6. From the fear of death Saints do commonly sleight and undervalue what ever suits not with their own Judgements James 1.8 A double minded man that is a man whose mind hangs between a double Object Christ and the World A Saint that hath been sick and near death and is recovered and returns into the World again is like a poor peeld Sheep that is brought out of the high Hill and Storm and almost to the Fold and then chased again to the storm Or a weary Traveller that is near his home that must needs return a great part of his way to fetch what he did neglect Or a man that hath been long at Sea and is in sight of shore but forced to Sea again Or an Apprentice that when he expects to be set at liberty must serve another Apprentiship Or Iosephs Brethren who returning home was forced back again into Egypt Things that seem small to Christians at a distance when God brings them to the Soul they seem great as persons or things at a distance as sin duty c. Two great Evils follow hardness of Heart Rom. 2.5 Impenitency and Wrath. When may sin be said to be a mans own 1. When he commits them out of his own as Satan doth Iohn 8.44 1 Iohn 38.9 2. When he hates it not but loves it yea more then any good Psal 52.3 3. When he nourisheth it Iam. 5.5 They pick the sweetest bits to nourish the hearts 4. When a man provides for it Rom. 13.14 5. When men live in sin 1. Tit. 5.6 6. When it is their Element meat Prov. 1.7 Sleep v. 16. Apparel Psal 73. Chain Prov. 10.23 Men carry their lives as men carry pretious water in a brittle Glass 2 Sam. 14.14 or a Candle in a paper Lanthorn A Saints second part of Sin is sorrow A true Saint hath his high places to walk upon Heb. 3. Last As 1. God himself his being 2. Christ as Mediatour his Light Strength c. 3. The Spirit as his Air. 4. The word as his Staff 5. Mount Zion as his delightful place 6. Gods decrees as his Record 7. Experiences as his helps 8. Hopes of Salvation as his encouragement The Evils I have feared and experienced in my self
are 1. To be hardened by the deceitfulness and guilt of sin 2. To have my goodness inconstant and uncontinuing as the morning Cloud or Dew 3. Because I cannot attain to that I urge and press upon others 4. To find such little effect of the sufferings of Christ and of his Spirit in me and of the Resolutions I make and Duties I perform Seek three things 1. To secure thy Soul 2. A sound Heart 3. A sin-sick Soul or a Soul sick of sin Take heed of presumptuous sin which is in Heb. 10. 1. A willing sinning 2. Knowingly 3. Despising of the Iâ—w 4. Sleighting of Christ 5. Doing despight to the Spirit 6. Falling into the hands of the living God without Christ and Sanctification Some of the last Lessons I am endeavoring to learn 1. TO keep Faith and to keep down Flesh 2. To be bound as if I were free and married as if I were unmarried 3. To dye before I come to dye viz. Expect and long for it 4. To attend every Duty better and to depend on them less 5. To realize and experience Spiritual things more 6. To make eternal things nearer by Faith 7. To have all things I see hear and read to leave a deeper impression upon me especially the sufferings of the godly and the sins of the wicked 8. To get more Communion with God in my services and sufferings 9. To have my Heart to mind more what God intends and doth in the Nations then what men do 10. To account of Gods least things more and of my own greatest and best things less 11. To make improvement of all former sins and sufferings 12. To learn to feed upon Gods brown Bread which is affliction better then formerly upon his white Bread his Gospel Ordinances 13. Not to think doing or suffering work hard 14. To get my self quite raised and recovered by vertue from Christ conveyed by the Spirit through the Covenant of Grace 15. To cease from all childish things 16. To do the work and bear the Testimony of my day in the day 17. to have a fixed or constant spirit for the word in Heaven is the same Psal 51.1 10. in the mar in God and in beleiving and doing good 18. To see that condition I am in to be best for me Some of my last Experiences 1. To see one sin after another more clearly 2. To see that I am very weak and shoâ—t in that grace wherein I thought I most excelled 3. That the sin that had most strength in me through the assisting power of Christ is grown and growing much more weaker 4. That I am more and more encouraged and helped to beleive by the strength of Christ and that as sin hath formerly weakned Faith so now Faith weakens sin 5. The sin and danger of neglecting ones body in making it unserviceable to the Lord. 6. That when a Christian begins to grow carnal can less the Lord leaves him to him self for sometime and either to be assaulted troubled with some Temptation or to be overcome with some Corruption 7. That before God raiseth up a Christian to a more spiritual estate or causeth him to suffer God Many times lets him know himself by leaving him to some corruption or temptation 8. That when and from whom I feared temptations at that time and from such the Lord did ma y loâ—fly deliver me evâ—n from the thoughts of Evil. 9. That very day and a few hours before my g eat sickness in Sept 9. 1664. I was strongly assaulted with Temptation and God in very mercy and wonderful seasonably did then lay sickness upon me 11. That a true Christian that is troubled with his Corruption doth rejoyce greatly when God doth by any means prevent and preserve from them 12. Exceeding suitably did God one day apply the three following Scriptures Esa 54.14 Ezek. 34.21 1. Pet. 3.14.16.19 13. That to shun one kind of Evil I found my self very ready to fall into another 14. That affliction when it was new fresh and first laid upon me it made and left more impression then afterwards As a further discovery of Gods gracious actings in the Heart of this holy man you have this following taste of his Spirit in this Collection taken out of his Dyary or Iornal it being his custome to keep a dayly Observation and Record of every every remarkable Providence occurring to him and of the frame of his Heart in his spiritual getings and losings every day which for the most part were written in Characters yet some being at large you have a few of them hereafter inserted which by Gods blessing may rend to the Edification and comfort as well as Example of many His Book is entituled Some Memento's and Experiences of Gods gracious dealings with Vavasor Powel Deut. 8.2 And thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God leads thee c. Psal 143.5 I remember the dayes of old c. Can. 1.4 We will remember thy love Psal 34.3 My Soul shall make her boast of the Lord c. Collections out of his Dyary THis day I observed as many dayes before that I have commonly Consolation and Affliction in the same day If I have comfort from the Lord that day by Communion or communication or otherwise in the morning I am sure to have some trouble that Night and if trouble in the Morning I am sure to have some refreshing that Night but there is scarce one day wherein I have not some breathings from God and to God and as sure buffetings from Satan This day was a very comfortable day to me in the morning I was refreshed by those words 31. Ps 15. My times are in thy hands c. by comparing that with Ier. 20.12 I had much comfort in the society of Gods People and several times in Prayer that day and power against evil thoughts yet that Evening I was assaulted strongly with sinful thoughts but in my flying to God in prayer against them they fled from me This day being the Lords day I had some communion with the Lord in private Prayer and a greater sence of the sufferings of his People upon my Heart and it came into my Heart to aske earnestly of God that I might love him better then my Life and better then my Lusts remembring that Scripture in the 2 Tim. 3.2.5 That Self-love and loving of pleasure more then God will be the two cheif Characters of Hyppocrites and Appostates in the latter dayes In the Evening I was again assaulted with Evil thoughts which necessitated me to fly to the Lord in Prayer and thence I learned this Lesson that sometimes the very sin of a Christian drives him to his Duty and Service sometimes by way of prevention either to the Scriptures for some word of promise or command against sin or to Prayer and sometimes after a Soul hath sinned it sees a necessity speedily and earnestly to confess it repent for it resolve and watch against it This
day I injoyed much consolation both from the Scripture specially Psal 37.24.35.39 Though he fall meaning the good man he shall not utterly be cast down nor condemn him when he is judged but the salvation of the Righteous is from the Lord he is their strength in the time of trouble and the Lord shall help them and deliver them he shall deliver them from the wicked and save them because they trust in him also by conference that day with several persons yet in the Evening I had strong assaults from Satan from which the Lord did in part deliver me but yet much trouble from my own Evil heart the four following lessons I was desirous to learn this Evening 1. To get my Soul more setled in the assurance and apprehension of salvation 2. More sensible of my own and other mens sins and my own and other mens sufferings 3. More humbled for my unprofitableness in my imprisonment 4. More willing to dye and more mindful of death This day I received and unexpected mercy and was prevented from a temptation which made my heart rejoyce and preventing grace especially that which prevented from sin have been frequently cause of rejoycing to me This day I had little change in the frame of my Spirit either to good or Evil but some sence I had of my own weakness yet I had some comfort from those words Psal 40.17 but I am poor and needy yet the Lord thinketh on me and Psal 42.8 Yet the Lord will command his loving kindness and his Song shall be with me and my Prayer unto the God of my life This day I had a good and comfortable day to my Soul especially in Prayer Four things I saw cause to be humbled for First that I had not more sence of the sins and sufferings of Gods People or of my own Secondly That the Works Glory Wayes Ordinances People of the Lord are in such Contempt Thirdly that there is no more Stability Zeal and Courage in the Saints for good and against Evil. Fourthly That there continues still such darkness upon and divisions amongst Christians I had it much in my Heart to desire two things from the Lord viz. First Power against my sin Secondly Preparation for sufferings This day I was much troubled for hearing one sweare several Oaths and not reproving him for the same and convinced also from Psal 50.7 Hear O Israel and I will testifie against thee I am God even thy God that God had many things against me in particular and I was convinced providencially of one cause of my sufferings Being a day to seek the Lord in private Prayer I had my Heart somewhat softned and yet I was troubled it continued so hard and I learned from the 2. Cro. 6.37 That I should in this my suffering bethink my self both what I was and what I had done that I should pray more earnestly and turn more throughly and perfectly unto the Lord and that Evening I could and did pray most heartily for my Enemies and Persecutors This day being the Lords day I had several times refreshings from the Lord in Prayer and in speaking his word and that word in Iob. 10.14 Was set with weight upon my Heart If I sin thou markest me and wilt not acquit me from my iniquity I learned thence what a dangerous thing it is to sin under affliction and the dangers did appear much by that place in Lev. 26.36 And upon them that are left alive of you meaning those that were unaffliction verse the 26. I will send a faintness in their Hearts c. The same day I had a consideration of the great evil of sinning against the Lord after assurance This day I observed these words Psal 59.3 For loe they lye in wait Davids Enemies for my Soul the mighty are gathered against me not for my transgression nor for my sin O Lord I could truely and with comfort say that mine Enemies did persecute me but not for my sin or transgression which is a comfort to me this day also by a special providence God brought a dear Friend who praying wit me my Heart was much affected and melted This day in the morning my Heart was very free to pray for my Persecutors and Enemies as freely and really is I was to seek and receive pardon for my own sins I had power also to apply those words to my self Psal 62.2 He is onely my Rock and my Salvation he is my defence I shall not greatly by moved and in verse 6. I shall not be moved God did bring this Scripture as an Antidote for that Evening there came several persons one after another to tell me that I and several others were to be tryed at the Sessions and I observed that my Heart was very little moved thereat but could willingly refer my self to the Lord and be quiet in and contented with his will though never so contrary to my own carnal and natural will This Evening in discourseing with a poor Christian antient woman I found by the tenderness of Heart the had for sin and her zeal for God that she was in a far better temper of Spirit then I was in which helped on my Humility somewhat this Evening also I had some power to resist Temptation and to check Corruption I had my Heart enlargned and softned in Prayer and through Gods goodness was much freed from Temptations yet had some bodily distemper but I judged it very little and light in comparison of what it might be I experienced the Lords coming in and especially in Prayer I observed that Scripture Psal 68.28 Thy God hath commanded thy strength strengthen O God that which thou hast wrought for us yet this Evening I was moved to passion This day spent so most part in writing Letters for Christian Freinds at some of which my Heart was moved having a great desire that they might continue in the Faith and stand fast in the Lord. This day I was affected with some ill news I heard and my heart was moved with pitty towards some in affliction I had some comfort from Psal 69. verse 36.29 Those whom thou hast wounded he persecuted and afflicted are those whom God hath wounded and though poor and sorrowful yet his salvation will set them up on high but especially from verse the 32. Their Hearts shall live that seek God and this day in observing the Characters which a godly Preacher gives in his Book of those that have their sins pardoned that they are those that seek pardon wait in the use of means till they obtain it they do freely pardon others and they do love God for his pardoning goodness all which in a measure through free grace I found in me also Psal 71.20 Thou wilt bring me up again c. was very refreshing to me This day being the Lords day I had several considerations of the Sabboth as it was a sign between God and his People Exod. 31.13.17 Ezek. 20.12.17 A sign of his favour
I had my Heart several times in a good frame of Prayer Fifthly I learned f om Psal 149.2.4 How it is mutually between God and his People they joy in him and he take pleasure in them I also was thinking of the grounds of Saints doubts about their salvation viz. Ignorance in the Covenant of grace want of observing their Hearts of keeping up Holiness Slothfulness and favouring some secret sin and not profiting by ordinances I was noting that the wicked are not ashamed to profess that they endeavour hurt to the righteous without a cause Prov. 1.11 and that the godly should gâ—ow more bold by how much the more their afflictions increase 1. Thess 2.2 I had my heart this day so tned in Pâ—â—yer I was this day convinced of the negligence in that duty of desiring to see the Faces of the Saints as Paul did 1. Thess 3.11 I received a special Letter this day from our dear Brother I. B. which suited much with my condition and judgement I learned a word from one that I could not expect such words viz. I did not heretofore prize neither great things that were temporal of spiritual but now I prize the least things of either sort from 2. Cor. 7. chap. 4 5 6. I observed 1. That in the greatest trouble Gods People may have the greatest comforts 2. That their comfort is originally from God 3. That God may send in these comforts at such times and in such a manner as they expect not this Evening my Soul was a little refreshed by divers promises and softned in Prayer Being the Lords day I observed from Prov. 3.16 In all thy wayes acknowledge him that godliness is an eying of God owning of God imitating of God and respecting of God in all our wayes and upon the consideration of these two following questions I had many thoughts some of which were refreshing and satisfying to me from the first question how we may know that we have received real good benefit by our afflictions Secondly How we may know when God doth afflict in Love and Faithfulness Psal 119.75.71 also divers other meditations from Rev. 12.10 They overcame by the word of their testimony and by the Blood of the Lamb c. and concerning the spiritual Race which a Christian is to run I had some enlargedness and tenderness of heart God according to his usual way and dealing with me foreseeing what I could not to wit more approaching affliction did this day administer an Antidote even comfort by Letters from the hands of several special Freinds also those words keep sound wisdome keep my saying in the midest of thine heart and keep thy heart with all diligence were I adjudged words worthy of observation hearing this Evening of a gratious Brother and Preacher sickness my heart was moved earnestly to pray for him I observed in the Morning a special exhortaion out of Prov. 5.1 My Son attend unto my wisdome and bow thine Ear unto my understanding also verse the 23. that sin is a great folly so chap. 18.13 Judg. 19.23 This day I received a sad Letter from a Brother T. E. that is turned Quaker which added much â—o my affliction the good Lord shew him the E â—or of his way and humble and reclaim him this day I was sensible of my aptness to be angry and was put seriously to enquire into the voice and will of God by these additional afflictions and I find a need of the continuance of them and my heart brought into a more submissive frame to bear and suffer his Rod. This day I bless the Lord was a good day to my Soul I had enlargedness and much freeness with some measure of softness and earnestness in Prayer especially for the Saints of God and perticularly for my own country Christians I had also a strong resolution to watch my self more carefully and do my duty more diligently then formerly out of Prov 7. I observed several helps or means to prevent and preserve the Soul from sin viz. 1. A laying up the Commandements in the Heart 2. A looking on them or eying of them 3. Getting endeared affection to Christ 4. By taking heed of the occasions thereof This day was but a flat drowsie day to my Soul nor great good gained but sin and grace not discernably active and affections unwarmed and unquickened yet convinced of lost time and comforted a little from 1 Thess 4. With thoughts of Christs coming I was this morning instructed from wisdomes words Prov. 8.8 All the words of my mouth are in righteousness and there is nothing froward in them that I should take more heed for the time to come of a froward Month and Tongue this day also I hope I can humbly say it I injoyed the Lord both in Meditation and Prayer and being sensible of the want of skil in beleiving and more diligence in sanctification and thereupon I am resolved through grace and hope to be enabled to take more heed to my ways and as the Lord also presented that Scripture to me Thess 5.15 But ever follow that which is good This day I had a check in my Spirit for lightness of heart and besides an outward special Providence I observed I learned from the sin I saw and heard of in others to loath or at least desired to loath it in my self I also observed from Prov. 9.18 That one main Reason why People do not leave sin is because they do not know or consider the punishment of sin also what a commendable thing it is for Christians to be patient and beleiving in all Persecution and Tribulations Thess 2.1 chap. 4. This day being the Lords day through Gods grace I had my heart much softened and enlarged to call upon God especially one time I observed also that that want of the love to the truth and love to unrighteousness are the causes of men falling from the faith 2. Thess 2.10.12 also anoâ—her excellent Lesson from that word 2. Thess 3 1â— where he speaks of busie Bodies which signifies properly to be too intent about the work we should not be This dâ—â— I had my heart set somewhat upon the consideration hâ— t vâ— p â—â—â—s Pâ—ov 11.2 12 13. The â—ust â—hall be delâ—veâ—ed and the just shall be saved on of troubâ—e 〈◊〉 dâ— I was noâ—eing a great difference between having the light and the love of the truth this day I received an Answer from a Christian Freind of a Bâ—others business of concernment which signified his love and care and increased my affection to him I was somewhat affected also with the sweet Counsel of Christ to the Church of Sardis I had my Soul in some good frame especially in Prayer and comfort from the consideration of the promises in Psal 1.3 That the good man shall bear Fruit and that his Fruit shall not wither and Isa 49.25 and Jer. 33.20 From the stability of the Covenant I likewise considered 1. That there is that in Christ which answers