your time religiously in reading some portion of the Scripture or other good book Or talking together of what you have heard read or preached in the publick how it concerns or may concern either of you and perswade and encourage one another to an holy and serious praetice conclude as you begin the day with prayer And so comfort your selves together and edisie one another 1 Thes 5.11 And by no means make it your custome to wander abroad on the Sabbath evenings unless it be to some Religious neighbours that mind the things of God and keep up some good duty as reading or repeating of Sermons or the like And learn of such how to governe your family in the fear of the Lord as every good man should Josh 24.15 Or else on good and warrantable accounts you may go and carry some good book to a neighbour that cannot read And read to them and their family for their Souls good and comfort Or else in the same Spiritual manner visit such as can read but do not who you may justly doubt are careless of their Souls And buy a book for that purpose so may you do good both to your selves and them Or if you cannot read not find a neighbour family to joyne with that usually does so spend the Sabbath labour to procure one that can read to go along with you in those Spiritual errands before mentioned Or if as Gods providence calls you visit â—â—â—h as are sick a thing usual on the Sabbath day and not to be discommended yet be not as idle lookers on only with Complement and how do you do but bring unto them some Spiritual present from the Church from Gods house some word of exhortation or comfort or instruction as they may need And supposing there be no elder grave and serious person that will speak as a Christian do you speak as becomes Christs servant for their Souls good and discharge of your own Conscience O if you have but an heart towards God how many wayes have you to do good for your selves and others and to spend that day in Religion and Piety the exercises of Charity works of Mercy and holy love A joy and comfort that the ignorant dark world are strangers to Adv. 6. One further advice I give in the sixth and last place and that is that you admonish and stir up one another to the Solemn and serious coming to the Lords Table there to receive together the Holy Sacrament of the Lords Supper thereby to renew your vow in Baptisim on your entrance on your changed condition in the married state Therefore take the first opportunity after you are married and help each other before to prepare for it You are now become one discover therefore freely the state of your Soules to each other your thoughts and knowledg in this matter your hopes your doubts and fears and pray for one another and direct and assist each other to understand and to do as God in his word requires and promise together to watch over one another in the love and fear of the Lord and to help each other to walk answerably to the Covenant that being joyned to each other you may both be united to Christ one with him and he with you But especially if neither have receiv'd the Sacrament as 't is too often the sinful neglect of young people forgetting their Baptismal vow and covenant of their youth 't is then more necessary to call on one another and a great token of true love to labour to bring each others Soul under the bond of the covenant To see the Sinfulness of their neglect and make one another sensible of it and hasten that it may no longer continue Yet beware that you come not slightly and carelessly to attend there and by mistake take the Sacrament for a ceremony Custom fashion in Religion or you know not what and so come ignorantly and without faith and so not only unprofitably but to your danger But help each other to consider what the Sacrament is why appointed and how useful to you in every condition Learn to know that it was appointed by Christ himself as a solemn remembrance of what he has done and suffered for the Redemtion of mankind and to be as a Seale of confirmation to all true believers of their share and portion and interest in Christ as indeed given to them according to the Covenant And on our part the Seal of renewing our Resolutions of accepting of Christ and giving up our selves to God according to the Covenant of God in his Grace and Mercy as we promised or was promised for us at our Baptism so we come to receive Gods renewed promises and to renew our owne And so it becomes thro' Gods grace a means of stirring up all Christian graces in us and of keeping down the power of Sin by the Spirit of Christ according to the promise of God and Divine assistance And this it is indeed to all that come sincerely and in earnest desiring to be and to continue true members of Christs Body united unto him and continuing in the Communion of Saints in stedfast Faith and holy obedience and joyful hope thankful love Come then together as fellow heirs of the same grace and renew your Baptismal vow and engagement with knowledg and understanding thankfully and sincerely accepting of and receiving Christ as offered to your Souls by God the Father in the Gospel believing the whole word of God and resolvedly and thankfully giving up your selves to God thro' Christ Heartily and sincerely consenting to the covenant to be Gods people and to take him for your God his Son for your Saviour his Spirit for your Guide and Sanctifier his Word for your Direction his Promises for your Comfort Hope and Trust Renouncing all other the devil and his workes the world and its vanities the flesh and its lusts that in heart and practice you may so live as the Gospel teaches in comfortable expectation of the Gospel-promises thro' Christ For further help in this matter read those Chapters which contain the institution as 1 Cor. 11.23 Lu. 22. Math. 26. And such Books of that subject as you can have as Mr. Glanvil on the Sacrament The Key of Knowledg short and plain The whole duty of Man Sunday 3d. Some one of these read together and talk together and enquire of each others Souls welfare of knowledg saith repentance charity and resolution of holy obedience by renewed life in the married estate giving up your selves to God thro' Christ and promise this to each other and both to God And if you have never been at the Sacrament then after such private preparation go together to your minister whom Gods providence has set over you to watch for your souls and desire his help in setling the case of your souls for increase of knowledg strengthening of faith quickening repentance and directing your practice in every good thing And so receive to the renewing of your
God in the concern of thy soul in his own word in thy own language and also to be able to use any choice form of prayer suitable to your condition and so powerful to move your affections and draw forth the desires of your hearts toward God tho beyond your ability to compose But if you cannot learn to read or in the mean time till you can you are not without help for you may get some honest godly friend or neighbour to read over a prayer to you so long till you have learnt it that you can say it your self But then you must take heed that this saying over one form turn not to plain formality that you should think as a child that having said over the words you have prayed tho your heart spoke not to God and so look on a prayer as a charm as if God was bound by those words in general to shew his goodness to you when your heart has not made one request or petition to God that is you have uttered words but had no desires This is an usual mistake and dangerous error so that in using forms of prayer your care must be to keep your heart to the duty earnestly desiring with your heart what you request with your lips But tho you have none of these outward helps so that you can neither read nor are furnished with a memory able to keep a form of words in mind yet know that the nature of the duty is such that these wants will no way excuse you Neither should you suffer this want to trouble you if you are willing and desirous to pray much less should you suffer it to discourage you and hinder you from duty and keep you from God because you cannot say over a form of prayer For consider forms are but words but prayer indeed is the speaking of the heart to God whether there be voice heard or words utter'd or not and without the heart both the best composed form and the greatest ability to utter words readily in extemporary free prayer are utterly to no purpose And if from thy heart thou speakest to God humbly reverently with understanding as sensible of thy wants sincerely as by faith depending on him thro Christ thou needst not be troubled for want of well placed words for God wants not words but knows the language of the heart and spirit Rom. 8.27 he is the God of the spirits of all flesh Numb 27.16 'T is true indeed that we want words to express the desires of our souls and to quicken our affections especially when praying with others But when marriage has made you no longer two but one flesh and your interest and desires should be one and the same that your prayers may not be hindred tho the words are not so well placed as may recommend to men yet from a sincere and united heart they may recommend both to God And to remove that bashfulness and being ashamed of words in one anothers hearing remember 't is not to approve your gifts and parts to each other but to approve both your hearts to God so that the fear of this want should not discourage and so keep you keep you strangers from God Consider then the good things you have and enjoy and be thankful Remember 't is fit to beg of God the continuance of them Consider what evil things you either fear or already suffer and beg the Lord to deliver And if there be any thing in particular that either of you want or desire this should be made known to the other that praying together you may join in that one thing and pray one for another as well as one with another And if you are indeed truly sensible of your wants and have an heart to go unto God you have a God to go to who will help your infirmities even he who made mans mouth he will put words in your mouths and teach you what to say so that you shall not want words for supplication and thanksgiving to make your requests known unto God And when you come thus to God with a sincere humble devout soul in the name and mediation of Jesus Christ this is prayer indeed to which all forms whether set or extemporary where such an heart is wanting are no way to be compared This is the language of the soul the heart poured out to God in prayer Adv. 4. The fourth advice I give you is to read the Scriptures together the word of God 'T is the great comfort and help of your souls and a blessed advantage of our Nation and the present time that we may and that thereby we may have in our own Houses that word promise and Gospel wherein Christ and thro him life and immortality and salvation is made known Search the Scriptures for therein ye think you have eternal life Jo. 5.39 So search that the word of Christ may dwell richly in you in all knowledge and Spiritual understanding Col. 3.16 Therein is abundance of hid treasure the unsearchable riches of Christ Something of this should be read every day Reading the Scripture should accompany Prayer at least in the evenings And let this practice be kept as a constant custome unless some extraordinary providence as sickness or the like hinder it If you begin this at first it will with more ease be continued till duty becomes delight and having tasted the sweetness and found the advantage you will look for it and think it as necessary as food or sleep Job 23.12 And to this I add this further advice that you read often good sound and plaine books of practical Godlyness That is at such times as the business of your calling or trade does admitt and tell each other of what good books you have read and what good you have received by them But especially on the Lords day in the vacancy of publick ordinances when you are not at Church then should you read and not only read but also encourage one another in an holy practice of such good things as the Scripture teaches and other good books set before you according to the holy Scripture Remember that if the husband cannot read and has a wife that can to account her worthy of double honour and if possible of double love on that account But let that wife beware she be not puffed up to despise her husband but know that she may yet learn of him as in respect of Judgment and understanding 1 Cor. 14.35 She must not think her self his teacher nor usurp authority over him 1 Tim. 2.12 tho' in this particular a meet helper and great advantage to him So also if the wife cannot read and has an husband that can let her prize him the more on that account as a greater treasure with whom she may have the comfort of a Christian conversation according to knowledg and living together as heirs of the grace of life 1 Pet. 3.7 If neither can read then you had need be more diligent
coming on of children Poor young infants must be looked to sickness or frowardness in them will be accounted a just and reasonable hindrance and is used too often as a pretence when it meets with a delaying and unwilling mind when indeed there is no just reason so to pretend as in the fourth advantage in the last Section 'T is easy to find an excuse for what we have not a mind to It may indeed be allowed sometimes as an interruption but cannot be allowed as a continual hindrance while there is the cradle or the mothers breast to keep peace and quietness for the time of reading and prayer 3. A third disadvantage is the possibility of an increase of worldly business and this may succeed as a continual hindrance when company and visits can be no longer a pretence as in the first Paragraph of this Section So that if you begin not at first when business is less how can a beginning be expected when business is really more 4. The ill custom of negligence will make the heart more dull and dead to all that is good confirmed habits are not easily to be removed you will be apt to fancy that so long you have done well enough without prayer and reading or any religious duty and may still do so And then tho' there be no excuse left yet you will continue in the neglect and this at last will turn to contempt and so you will cast it off quite 5. Fifthly a great disadvantage of delaying and putting off may arise under a seeming good pretence that is of being fitter and more able hereafter You will be apt to think that knowledg and ability will come with age you are yet too young when elder you shall be more able and then it will come of it self But this is a sore delusion of Satan for you will labour still under the same disadvantage and be as unskilful in the way of righteousness when old as when young unless you begin to practise when young And when you find ignorance and inability still continue whereas you thought it would be otherwise you will be apt to judg this work is not to be done and then to think it is not required at least of you but of the better learned and more able and you will be ready to say God requires no more then he gives he knows you cannot when indeed 't is not the want of ability but of a willing mind And the fault is your own negligence who would so long delay your own sinful negligence that whereas in that time you have delayed you might have been able by use and exercise yet are you as far to seek as when being young and delayed to that time of age Heb. 5.12 Still to seek for a beginning and still complaining of that which you pretended hindred you at first Whereas if you had begun in due time you would have found that use and practice through Gods blessing would have rendred you able and knowing now by neglect you find your selves both weak and ignorant And so tho' 't is possible that one may be more capable of learning a trade at five and twenty years old then at fifteen yet we see none put off learning so long Because then is the time to use it and use by that time makes those that begin early then to be masters which if they had deserred on hope of better ability they had certainly been as much to seek then as at fifteen But these particulars are as it were more immediately from your selves but there are other disadvantages of an higer nature 't is true indeed they are disadvantages caused by your own neglect but now depend more immediatly on a superiour power and stand as brazen walls a disadvantage next to impossible to be overcome And that is the long slighting the offers that God has made provoking him to withdraw his divine influences and to leave you without further calls admonitions and helps When the holy and blessed Spirit has long waited to be gracious and it will not yet be that you will be perswaded but are still delaying and shifting off duty with excuses he then departs as grieved Eph. 4.30 The striving and inward motions of the Spirit cease as quenched 1 Thes 5.19 Then as a ship forsaken of the wind thou canst not move You can do nothing without Christ Jo. 15.5 And he has offered and called but you would not consent and he that only can help is now departed in displeasure O what a sore and dreadful disadvantage is this procured by neglect and sinful delay And what danger are you in lest you should be hardned and undone for ever God has called for your first love and you have put him off with trifing excuses And can you think that what you would not have on invitation is so cheap a trifle that you cannot miss it but it must be allowed you when you will No no trifler 't is not so this is such a disadvantage as may make them tremble that are under it and if well considered will set you upon timely endeavours to prevent the Danger 7. Lastly there is another disadvantage of the same sort with that last mentioned and that is the curse of God that the negligent lie under all that time that they refuse God and Christ and the holy Spirit and blessing to dwell with them While you neglect the serious practice of Religion in private you lose all the benefit of the publick ordinances and the private instructions and good wishes of your friends You hear the word preached or read but 't is in vain while you neglect to practice it You do but deceive your selves Jam. 1.22 And put your selves further under the curse of God And from this neglect the curse grows more heavy tho' you perceive it not Here is indeed that dreadful disadvantage as the Apostle tells us Heb. 6.7.8 Those that receive the dew of heavenly instructions from Gods word read or preached or from such books as this and yet bring forth only briers and thorns excuses and neglect they are nigh to Cursing And this is indeed a dreadful state But I have spoken something on this account before in the last Paragraph of the former Section and therefore conclude this Sect. V. Shewing that married people ought to take care of each others Souls and to perswade each other to the practice of holiness I Have set before you the good and the right way to make the married life a comfortable joyful happy state I have shewed you the advantages of entring on those offered joyes betimes and the disadvantages of delaying even the long losing the most comfortable part of the married state and the danger of losing your Souls for ever Now some may think it a very needless thing to add more to perswade But while Satan and Corrupt nature are so prevailing and true Christian love appears so little there is reason to fear that many will not
Adam and Eve and didst sanctifie and joyn them together in marriage pour upon us the riches of thy Grace sanctifie and bless us that we may please thee both in body and Soul and live together in holy love to our lives end Amen These you may use or so many of them as you think best only take heed that you may with the words express the true and hearty desires of your Souls to God alwayes concluding with the Lords Prayer as our Saviour in his Gospel hath taught us to pray saying OUR Father which art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy Kingdom come Thy Will be done in earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory for ever and ever Amen And then add The Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the Love of God and the fellowship of the holy Ghost be with us evermore Amen A prayer to obtain Children to be used by those for whom it is necessary O Merciful God and heavenly Father by whose gracious gift mankind is increased we beseech thee assist us both with thy blessing that we may neither of us be barren but both of us fruitful in Children and also may live together so long in godly love and honesty that we may see our Children Christianly and Vertuously brought up to thy praise and honour thro' Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen Or instead of these you may make use of either of those that follow which of them you shall think most suitable to your condition to make known the desire of your heart to the heart-searching God The married persons joynt request unto God taken out of Mr. Hieron's help to Devotion THou O most blessed God didst first ordain the married state and it is thy providence by which we which were two are now made one flesh having mutually resigned our selves either to other by our entrance into this holy League It is the desire of our Souls to live together to thy glory and to the contentment each of other This we cannot do without thee for of our selves besides sin we can do nothing unto thee therefore do we commend our most earnest and humble suit that it may please thee so to besprinkle our Souls with the dew of thy grace that from thence may spring a plentiful increase of Sobriety of righteousness and of holiness in our lives Allay in us all sensual and brutish love purifying and sanctifying our affections one toward another that we may in nothing dishonour this honourable state nor pollute the bed of marriage which thou thy self in thy word hast called undefiled but may use this thine ordinance in that holy sort that carnal lusts may be slaked and subdued not increased or inflamed thereby Endue us with a godly care to acquaint our selves with thy blessed word that we may know and understand what duty is required at our hands what authority tempered with love and compassion and freed from all bitterness is committed to the husband what obedience and submission with reverence is commended in the wife what faithfulness in matrimonial duties either to other is enjoyned what providence and care is expected of the man and what assistance and help of the woman And when we know and have learned these things grant that it may be our study to practise them that so the husband may be as a faithful guide to his wife and the wife a crown and credit to her husband Make us wise to observe the natures and dispositions one of another that in all lawful things the one may seek to please and content the other the one may know how to bear with and to forbear the other not winking at any evil in one another but discreetly chusing the fittest opportunities for mutual admonishing without all shews of tyranny in the one or of presumption in the other Open our hearts that we may faithfully and chearfully communicate one to the other that sweetness which we find in heavenly things that sowe may go hand in hand towards heaven And that our chief love and delight either in other may be grounded upon the hope we have that we are heirs together of the grace of life In our family link us together in one common care to oversee the wayes of our houshold to seek the promoting and advancing of thy Kingdom the good instruction and education of our Children and servants Finally O Lord so unite and joyn us together in fidelity of affection that we may ever devote our selves to the procuring of the present and eternal good one of another that so living here comfortably we may reign with thee perpetually in that thy Kingdom which the blood of thy Son hath prepared for those that love and fear thy name Unto which Kingdom O Lord reserve us even for thy Son's sake and for thy mercies sake Amen Another to the same purpose O Lord our God who art pleased to look in mercy on thy poor creatures thro' the Lord Jesus Christ and dost promise to hear the prayers made to thee in his name we beseech to hear our prayers and supplications incline our hearts to pray and be pleased to hear and answer us graciously for Christ Jesus sake Thou O blessed Lord hast ordained the state of marriage and by thy good providence hast brought us together in that holy bond that we might be meet helps for one another And now O Lord we beseech thee frame both our hearts to holy desires to be helpful to each other both in soul and body And help us by thy Grace that we may live together in holy love and assist each other in faith and repentance and sincere obedience to thy holy word and will That we may live together in thy fear and be both of us ever in thy favour Put it into our hearts good Lord daily to pray and call upon thy holy name one with another and one for another Enable us to read thy holy word diligently enlighten our understandings that we may thereby know thy will and quicken us by thy Grace and good Spirit that we may be doers of thy Word And that being taught thereby we may learn truly to sanctifie thy Sabbaths and to give up our selves to thee our God heartily and entirely in frequent serious and solemn renewing the Covenant at thy holy Table in the blessed Sacrament of the Lords Supper and that we may live together as in Covenant with the Lord and do all that good thou hast appointed us in this state and condition of life to which thou hast called us Pardon we beseech thee all our Sins for Christ Jesus sake And all that vanity whereby we may have ensnared each other since our first acquaintance either in thought word or action savouring too much of the flesh and unbecoming
Christian purity Keep us henceforth in holy Spiritual love that we defile not the honourable marriage-bed by desires too sensual but that we may be instruments of each others chastity and purity both in Soul and Body Take from us all dullness of mind and backwardness to Religious duties and both teach and enable us so to order our worldly affairs that our minds and hearts may be alwayes free for thy service and worship Give us we beseech thee the Spirit of wisdom and of a sound mind that with all gravity and soberness we may govern and rule our selves and families in thy faith and fear and love as becomes those that are followers of the holy and blessed Jesus as taught by thy holy word Be pleased to make us both instruments of good to others especially to our kindred and neighbours to the comfort and releef of those that are in want to the instruction of the ignorant to the reproving and reforming the ungodly and to the good of all We pray thee also to make us diligent in our calling not â—lothful in business but as serving the Lord. And so bless our labours and honest endeavours in worldly things that we may have a competency for our selves and ours and to give to those that want And further O heavenly Father we humbly intreat thee to give us both thy Grace that with pure hearts we may fervently love one another and provoke one another to love and good works and watch over each other for the Souls good And deal faithfully with each other not suffering one one another in carlesness of our Souls or in any sin without due serious seasonable and compassionate warning in thy fear And good Lord give each of us such an heart that we may be willing to be warned of our sin and danger and desirous to be reformed And good Lord help us so to live together as abiding in Christ Jesus that which ever of us thou shalt please to call out of this world first may leave the comfort of a well grounded hope to the surviver that both at last shall meet in purer and undefiled love and joy in the inheritance of the promises together with the Spirits made perfect thro' the blood of the holy Jesus in thy heavenly eternal Kingdom For the sake and thro' the mediation of Jesus Christ our only Saviour and Redeemer Amen A prayer to be used in secret by the married man or woman in respect of each other O Most merciful Father and eternal God who hast appointed and sanctified the state of marriage by thy Command and word and by thy good providence hast now joyned me with a partner and companion for the married life Guide me I beseech thee by thy good Spirit that I may do my duty in this state of life to which it hath pleased thee to call me That I may not make the liberty thou givest me an occasion to the flesh nor thro' weakness turn thy permissions to sensuality Pardon I beseech thee all my infirmities and failings in that matter and help me that in all circumstances I may keep a conscience void of offence both towards thee my God and towards men That I may sincerely perform my duty towards thee and with a pure heart be fervently affectionate to my dear yoke-fellow That I may be a good guide and example to my family and in all quietness and sobriety patience and prudence a follower of those who have served thee with godliness and walked in thy Commandments blameless And guide I beseech thee my dear yoke-fellow and endue him or her with thy Grace and blessing both in Soul and Body O keep him or her I beseech thee from all temptations and all inclinations to evil Give him or her an heart to hear and obey thy holy word and keep him or her from all sickness and bodily dangers And so keep us both in thy fear and holy love to each other that we may receive good and religious counsel of each other and truly follow the same and watch for each others Souls good So that at the end of a chast and holy conversation in the Lord we may together enjoy the promised felicity of thy chosen in thy everlasting Kingdom thro' our dear and only Redeemer the Lord Jesus Christ Amen A prayer to be used by the woman when conceived with child O Merciful God and heavenly Father who hast made all things and preservest all things and hast appointed marriage as the way of continuing the generation of mankind I desire to be thankful that thou hast called me to the holy state of marriage and in that state hast given me the blessing of the marriage bed even strength to conceive with Child The fruit of the Womb is a blessing from thee O God alone which all the treasures on earth cannot purchase And now O Lord I beseech thee continue thy blessing giving me strength both to bear and bring forth let the sickness and illness attending conception bring me more seriously to consider of the sin of our first parents how the woman was in the transgression and thereby my sorrows multiplied that I may be truly humbled for my natural corruption which Lord in thy mercy pardon and cleanse me from thro' the blood of Jesus Christ and give me comfort in that gracious promise of the Seed of the Woman that should break the Serpents head Lord I humbly beg that the expectation of pains and sorrow in travel and bringing forth may bring me to more serious thoughts of my Soul and my duty and may quicken me to repentance and stir up my heart to lay faster hold on Christ Jesus by a lively faith that all my sins may be forgiven and that I may be more watchful to all Christian duties of my place and that I may wait with patience the appointed time and be prepared for life or death as thou shalt be pleased to appoint And that I may be saved in childbearing Lord strengthen me with thy grace and keep me by thy power that I may continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety And when the time appointed for delivery shall come help me patiently to bear the pangs and thro's and sorrows And let them be sactified to the humbling of my Soul and bring me thro' all I beseech thee by thy power and goodness And give me a living child with all its parts limbs and sences in due order And grant me in due time a safe recovery of former strength that I may no more remember the anguish for joy that a man is born into the world to become a member of Christs Church that I may be glad in the Lord who is pleased to make me a chanel of blessings to my husband and family Or if thou seest fit to finish my life by this danger in child bearing be pleased to receive me to life eternal in thy heavenly Kingdom But if it be thy blessed will I desire humbly to live