but my Dear Wife's Pains and Trouble I told her we had now continued this Custom a great while and that I thought it too burthensome to her a Dinner signified not much to the Rich and for the Poor I would take Care they should be no losers She at present seem'd well pleased with what I said and acquiesced in it But upon second Thoughts she said My Dear I thank thee for thy Tenderness to me to prevent my Trouble but I am rather willing to undergo it were it greater than to discontinue a Practice so long used constantly and thereby occasion any mis-interpretation as if it proceeded from Parsimony or abatement of Kindness therefore I intreat thee let us continue to doe as we have hitherto done Yearly only let us try to have all in two Days we used to have in three and if our House will not contain them all at twice to some of the poorest I will send double as much as they could have eaten here And so it was agreed and performed and so her last Christmass was as kind and Charitable as those of former Years SECT XXII Of the Marriage of our onely Daughter and her Death in Childbirth the same Year yet leaving a Son IT is not to be wondred at that she should write so many Pages of this Come-Tragedy as I called another Providence mentioned before a Trage-Comedy whose Pious Kindness was so mindful in Holy Prayers and Praises not of her self alone but of her Honoured Friends I shall touch but one or two for Instance and I cannot single out any more suitable than of those Right Honourable Ladies whose sweet Condescension not only vouchsafed to give this our Dear Daughter frequently their kindest and familiar Conversation but borrowed and desired hers almost whole Summers divers Years Concerning these young Ladies thus her Pen speaks The Lady Ann the Lady Mary and the Lady Essex Rich had a Pious Education under â—he tender Care of the Right Honourable the Countess of Warwick their Aunt whose great Care of them and Kindness and Love to them supplied and over-shot the measures of what could be expressed to them by the tenderest Mother Of two of their Marriages she writes thus December the 11th 1673. The Vertuous and Right Honourable the Lady Mary Rich was Married to Mr. Henry St. John the Eldest Son of Sir Walter St. John a Pious good Family and an ancient Barronet and great Estate Blessed Lord thou hast abundantly enriched them with the Blessings of the Nether Springs full streams in the good things of this Life let it not be their all but turn these Waters into Wine give them the Blessings of the Vpper Springs the plentifull Effusions of thy Spirit flowing into their Hearts and Souls that they may build up each other in their most Holy Faith as Heirs together of the Grace of Life June 16. 1674. The Honourable Lady Essex Rich was Married to Mr. Daniel Finch Eldest Son to his Father then Lord Keeper of the Great Seal of England Good Lord give them the Blessings of thy Right-hand and continue to them the Blessings of thy Left-hand also But let not their Portion be only in this Life let thine own Prerogative have the Supremacy in their Hearts and accelerate and quicken them to thy Service that Glorifying thee on Earth they may be in Everlasting Glory with thee in Heaven Amen Amen I will mention no more like Instances and humbly beg Pardon if I have been too bold in touching these I now come to the Title of this Section and shall add nothing of my own only transcribe and that with Abbreviation what her Pious Pen hath left me not that one Word need to be retrenched upon other accounts but only to avoid Prolixity January 17. 1675. My Dear Husband and my Dear Child Margaret Walker went to London in reference to our great Concern her Marriage our onely one so dear to us She was Married February the 1st 1675. to Mr. John Cox Barrister of Grays-Inn His Father lived at Coggshall his Relations very honest good People and very well to live in the World God hath graciously provided for her a loving Husband a sober Person and I hope a good Man God consummated their Choice by Mr. Gifford a worthy good Man Minister of St. Dunstan's in the East in London whither she was accompanied by the Right Honourable the Countess of Warwick with the chief of the Family from Warwick-House and with many other manifestations of Kindness God shined upon her and in all respects gave her a comfortable Day I draw the Curtain of a modest c. over the rest lest the Thankfulness of her who was so truly humble should incurr the unkind censure or suspicion of Vanity and concluding what I have omitted with these Words And with many other Favours God hath honoured them She proceeds Lord I desire to own thy Goodness as the Fountain Head from whence flows all Good to be enjoyed in the things of this Life and concerns of a better and more endurable Estate for their Souls advantage For which I beseech thee give them a capacious Heart to know love serve and enjoy thy self and vouchsafe them of the good things of this World what thou seest convenient for them and help them to be contented to be without what in mercy thou deniest them Good Lord keep both them and theirs inoffensive in this World and when they shall go hence and be no more in this Life Lord grant that where thou art they may be also in Eternal Glory Amen Amen Thus far the pleasant and more lightsome part Now follows what 's more dark and dolefull I have now a very smarty afflictive Dispensation from God to record very pressing by his afflictive Hand on us I acknowledge very deservedly for my Sins the Lord hath taken from us out of this Life our onely One the most dearly Beloved Daughter and Child of my choice Aâ—fections Mrs. Margaret Cox she was mâ—â—ried February the first 1675. The 19th 〈◊〉 November following she was Delivered of a Son Lord's Day seven a Clock in the Morning She continued pretty well two or three Days Tuesday following sickned of a Fever and dyed December the 5th 1675. But God in the midst of his just Judgments remembred his Mercy to us hath spared the little one to us Blessed be God for it and received the Motherless Babe into Covenant with himself by Baptism I Bless God he is the Son of good Parents his Father a very sober and a good Man his dear deceased Mother was a fine lovely handsome well accomplished Woman both in Nature and Grace to God's Praise I do make my Acknowledgments let it have no other Censure She was of a quick Apprehension modest humble discreet and of a good Judgment and well fitted for Family-Government and Imployment She had a sweet amicable Deportment and gracefull Behaviour these Endowments through God's Kindness to her rendred her very desirable to all that knew
Kingdom of Satan may fall and the Kingdom of Christ be exalted that the Gospel may continue where it is and sent where it is not and received in the Love of it through the World Pray for all afflicted as their case requires and with thy Prayers and Praises give thanks to God for the prime Fountain of all his Mercies Christ Jesus In particular thou mayst mention at the Throne of Grace what Christ hath done and suffered for humble contrite Sinners Labour and beg for such a frame of Spirit such God not despise Express thy thankfulness for what Christ hath instituted and ordained in his Church for the Benefit and good of his People Thou mayst in particular express with Prayers and Praises That all may be applicatory to thy self These are short hints thou mayst enlarge God giving thee his Spirit of Grace and Supplication Let not vain Thoughts mingle with religious Duties beware of those wandring Vagrants do not take such Company with thee when thou drawest near to God in any Religious performance lest it be like offering strange fire provoke God rather to consume than bless thee but keep off those busie Flies they may not corrupt thy Sacrifice Say to all disturbing Thoughts as Abraham said to his Servants when he went to the Mount to Sacrifice Stay you here below till I go to Worship God Fervent Prayer is very prevalent with God of it may be said what is said of Faith which is a justifying Grace without which it is impossible to please God Heb. 11. For he that cometh to God must believe that he is and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him Good works are the Life of Faith being well performed for matter and manner without which Faith is Dead and God is not the God of the dead but of the living as the body without the spirit is dead so without works faith is dead also St. James 2. The great things a lively Faith hath done fervent Prayer hath done the same The little Book I sent thee was thy dear Mother's it is a good Discourse of Prayer Dear Johnny let thy Prayers and Praises with the sweet Incense of thy Love to God be offered to him on the golden Altar of an humble and sincere Heart in the mediation of Jesus Christ and put no religious Duty off with that foolish idle Excuse I have not time lest thou as the foolish Virgins were be unfurnish'd of Oil for the Lamp of thy Christian Profession and for thy neglect shut out of the Kingdom of Heaven If Time for Play Recreation Eating Sleeping or the like a due proportion of Time may be gained from them for thy best therefore thy most concern those indispensable Duties on which thy eternal welfare so much depends the neglect of them may be thy inevitable Ruine in this Life and that to come for Godliness hath the promise of both Therefore seek the Kingdom of Heaven in the first place and the things of this present Life shall be added to thee as may be good for thee The things of this World compared to God and Heaven are but Straws and Pibbles St. Paul calls them dross and Luther said The whole Turkish Empire is but a Crust God throws to the Dog God hath provided better things for those that love and seek him In this world is our preparatory Life for our future Estate I have oft said to thee That all Men are about this great Business but in a different way to a different end Good Men prepare for Heaven and Wicked Men prepare for Hell therefore avoid the broad-way of a sinfull Life which leads to Destruction chuse that way which comparatively few find the way of an holy Life the end of which is Peace which the World cannot give Dear Johnny Do not deferr thy great concern to serve God and save thy Soul more worth than Ten thousand Worlds Many much younger than thee have set about this great work Thou hast oft read Mr. Smythies's Book of the Benefit of early Piety also thou hast had a civil and religious Education and many more Prayers than thou art Days old Thy dear Grandfather's Care Counsel and Prayers mine have not been wanting as far as able to perform in my care and love of thee let them not condemn thee but labour to answer the end of them that thou mayst not disappoint God and us to thy own detriment and loss Dear Johnny where much is given the more will be required Time is precious use all lawfull Industry and Diligence for thy well being in this World and make all subservient for a better to come Thou knowest not how long God may continue thy Friends to thee She was not continued three Months nay thy own Life is uncertain all things in this World are so and there is no retrieving an Errour on the other side of Death Do not procrastinate take the wise Man's Counsel what thy hand findeth to doe doe it with all thy might which inferrs speed and diligence for the obtaining internal and external Blessings Deferring made St. Augusting cry out Too late too late Lord did I love thee Dear Johnny Do not put God off with a decrepid Love and the chill Spirits of old age and bodily Infirmity by which the operative Faculties of thy Soul through the organical Powers of the Body may be obstructed with defect and impeded with the ill Habits and Customs of Sin Avoid this Danger give to God the vigour and strength of thy Life let it be without blemish By God's appointment the young was brought to him in Sacrifice Do thou as Righteous Abel give to God thy firstlings thy first Love and suffer no Rival or Competitour with it it was the Test Christ put to his Disciples If ye love me keep my Commandments Dear Johnny I used to mind thee St. John thy own name let him be thy Example in thy Love to God he was the youngest Disciple most eminent in Christ's Love He was called the Disciple whom Jesus loved Dear Johnny Be not taken with the Gauds and Vanities of this World in any of the profers of it they will bite like an Adder and sting like a Serpent if they draw thy Heart from God Be not deceived by them they will put a lye in thy right-hand promising more than they can give Be not affected with vain Glory it is but a Puff of breath soon exhaled and will vanish from thee Yea so are all the things of this World for the duration of them Remember thy Baptismal Covenant with God thou didst promise to forsake the Pomps and Vanities of this World the Devil and all his Works and sinfull Appetites to them I was a Witness to this Engagement and one of thy Sureties Dear Johnny let thy Baptismal Vow through Grace preserve thy Morals untainted Let none be corrupted by thy ill Example and be not thou infected by the evil manners of others Speak no obscene or scurrilous Language
other Blessed be my gracious God for his great Kindness to me in them both After Three Years continuance in that Family upon the Death of Dr. Read my Lord presented my Dear to Fyfield in Essex a competent good Living and Subsistence blessed be God for it Good Lord crown his Ministry there with the Success of the Conversion and Bringing in their Souls to the Obedience and Knowledge of Jesus Christ Give him abundance of the Graces of thy Holy Spirit and store his Heart with the Treasuries of thy heavenly Truths and continue my Dear Husband a faithfull painfull able Labourer in thy Vineyard If what I have thus far touch'd may savour of any Vanity the modesty of what I have past over may excuse the Errour at least to them who may see the Original Manuscript Now to return to her of whom I write she proceeds I was Born at London in Bucklersbury on Thursday the 12th of July in the Year of our Lord 1623 and Baptized the 20th Day of the same Month. The Lord vouchsafing me a reception into the visible Church of Jesus Christ when he most justly might have suffered no Eye to pity me but have cast me out to the loathing of my Person in my original Defilement and Stains of my sinfull Nature But to my first admittance good Lord enable me to ascend that being a Member of thy Church militant here on Earth I may attain to be one of thy Church triumphant in Heaven My Dear Father was Mr. John Sadler a very Eminent Citizen and of a most generous loving and charitable Disposition and a most tender Father to me and a kind Father-in-Law to my Husband He was born at Stratford upon Avon in Warwickshire where his Ancestors lived My Grandfather had a good Estate in and about the Town He was of a free and noble Spirit which somewhat out-reach'd his Estate but not given to any Debauchery I ever heard of My Father's Mother was a very wise pious and a good Woman and lived and died a good Christian My Father had no Brother but three Sisters who were all eminently Wise and good Women especially his youngest Sister who married my Father's Partner in Trade a religious good Man In process of time my Father was desired to change his single estate accordingly a Match was provided for him but he by God's Providence approved not of it His Father then provided him good Clothes good Horse and Money in his Purse and sent him to make his Addresses to a Gentlewoman in that Country But he considering well how difficult a married Condition was like to prove his Father having reduced his Estate from about 400 l. a Year to 80. His own Prudence but especially God's good Providence over-ruling his mind instead of going a Wooing he join'd himself to the Carrier and came to London where he had never been before and sold his Horse in Smithfield and having no Acquaintance in London to recommend him or assist him he went from Street to Street and House to House asking if they wanted an Apprentice and though he met with many discouraging Scorns and a thousand denials he went on till he light on Mr. Brokes bank a Grocer in Bucklersbury who though he long denied him for want of Sureties for his Fidelity and because the Money he had but Ten Pounds was so disproportionable to what he used to receive with Apprentices yet upon his discreet account he gave of himself and the Motives which put him upon that Course and promise to compensate with diligent and faithfull Service what ever else was short of his Expectation he ventured to receive him upon Trial in which he so well approved himself that he accepted him into his Service to which he bound him for Eight Years to which he willingly submitted though he was then full Twenty-one Years old and there he served a faithfull and laborious Apprenticeship but much liked of his Master and Mistress And after served him Five Years Journey-man they not being willing to part with him In which time he had his Master's leave to Trade for himself in Drugs and Tabacco by which he left Grocery and was by Trade a Druggist in London And by that Profession God bless'd my dear Father with a very plentifull and good Estate with which God gave him a bountifull Mind and liberal Heart to doe much good to his Relations and others My Dear Mother Mrs. Elizabeth Sadler was the Daughter of Mr. Dackum sometimes Minister of Portsmouth Also my Grandmother Dackum was a very wise and prudent Woman In my Infancy I was very sickly and of a weakly Constitution Blessed be God for the Love and Care of Parents and Friends in my Childhood Estate She was her Parents first Born after Five Years Marriage and despair of having Children which rendred them exceeding tender of her and yet was she well nigh starved at Nurse at Lusam in Kent For though her Parents sent so bountifully besides the Nurses Wages as might near maintain the Family yet have they found the Meat they sent ready to stink for want of dressing In my fuller Age I was of a pensive Nature God saw it good that I should bear the yoak in my Youth but I did not consider the hand that put it on When I was Young the Lord was pleased to deliver me from many Casualties After naming them she always concludes with Praises Blessed be his preventing Mercy Blessed be God that preserved me in that danger And such like If St. Augustin's confessing of his robbing an Orchard be so much approved why may not I touch so small a thing as I meet with here which shews the tenderness of her Spirit When I was a Child my Mother would send me where she less trusted my Sisters In what I might fail I cannot call to mind but I remember she sent me where she kept her Apples they suited my childish Appetite I took one I could not keep it but thought I had stole it I went back unlock'd the Door but with some regret laid down the Apple Blessed be restraining Grace But I must pass over a great many things for brevity which might be usefull unto others and are very pleasant to my self in reading for the savory sense of pious Gratitude which all along breaths in them yet I will not hide the greatest fault I ever knew her guilty of in my own observation or find her charge her self with either in her Book or Diary Having written many things which I pass by and last concerning the burning of her Father's House she thus proceeds About half a year after the Fire which was when she was about Thirteen or Fourteen years old my Father had a great fit of sickness which held him a quarter of a year and in great danger of Death In which time of his sickness I poor wretched Creature through a sudden surprise and provocation spoke a wicked word to a superior of which my Father was informed and most
yet more occurred in every one well worth observing To begin with the first day of the Week or the Lord's Day the Queen of days the first-born of all the Children of time in her esteem to which she accounted a double Portion to be due of religious observance and most raised Devotion and always paid it She was scrupulously sollicitous both of the Negative and Positive Duties she judged to be required on that day both to prevent the violation of that holy Rest and to sanctifie it I might subjoin a short Treatise of that Subject if I should collect and put together what I meet with from her own Pen concerning it in several places For the first as she gave it the full dimensions in early rising so she would not suffer it to be intrench'd upon by any works but of absolute Necessity and Mercy ordered things so that her Maids must never make a Cheese that day and would seldom use the Coach to carry her to Church except in extremity of way and weather and though none gave freer welcome on other days would forbear inviting any on that day to prevent diversions and if Friends sometimes came in would as soon as it was possible without uncivil rudeness withdraw into her Chamber After Dinner at which she especially eat sparingly on that day to prevent drowsiness at Church She constantly called all the Family together to hear them read the Scriptures and if any Neighbour were sick within such distance as would not hinder her timely attending publick Worship would not fail to visit them and all the day she practised her self what she oft advised others Isa 58.13 She turned away her foot from the Sabbath from doing her pleasure on God's Holy Day and called the Sabbath her delight the holy of the Lord honourable and honoured him not doing her own ways nor finding her own pleasure nor speaking her own words but delighted herself in the Lord and in his Service For the positive Duties Being early up she spent as much time in dressing her Soul to meet God and as little as was possible in adorning her Body to the Eyes of Men though always with a grave and decent neatness She always retained a profound Reverence for the Name and Presence of God so that she was always attentively devout at Prayers and Sermons to which she brought all her Servants with her that they might not stay loitering idly at home or by the way and her Eye and Example would awe the ruder youth into becoming Carriage for which end she would sometimes rise up and look about her with good effect After publick Worship finished she would retire for a considerable time to recollect and pray over the Sermons and after finishing what was her custom on other days to doe Besides the Servants reading every one a Chapter when my weariness would not allow me to repeat the Sermons she would desire my Curate to read some good Book and oft would she do it her self She read in the Family the Lord's Day the seven night before she died good part of Dr. Sherlock's Treatise of Death and I must say I remember not I ever heard Man or Woman exceed her in this kind I confess with shame I could not doe it so well for tho' she altered not a Syllable of the Author's words her Reading might be called a Reading and giving of the Sense for tho' she read quick she did it so smoothly and distinctly and would place the Emphasis upon some word in every Sentence so intelligently without any affected tone or vehement alteration of her Voice that the change was scarce perceptible not so much as betwixt what we call flat and sharp in Musick and yet would strangely facilitate the understanding of the Sense to low Capacities an infallible evidence of her clear understanding it herself After Family Prayer spending some little time more than on other nights in committing her self to God she went to Bed and adding to her usual Ejaculations Praises for the liberty of another Sabbath Prayers for acceptance of the days Services and pardon for the Iniquities of her holy things she went to rest and such were every Week's First-fruits On Monday Morning awaking with God and having blown off the Ashes which veil'd the Embers kindled by the ardent Fervour of the preceding days Devotions she kindled them into an holy Flame with which having offered up the daily Morning-Sacrifice she next brought her Peace-offerings for the whole House of Israel She had a very publick Spirit and enlarged Heart on which she always bore the concerns of Zion and preferred Jerusalem above her chief Joy She stretched out her craving hands over the World as you 'll find her express her self that the mighty God who calleth the Earth from the rising of the Sun to the going down thereof would shine out of Zion the perfection of Beauty that he would pity them who sit in darkness and the region and shadow of Death that he would destroy Satan's Kingdom and set free those who are in bondage to it that he would exalt the Kingdom of his dear Son till the little Stone cut out of the Mountain without Hands might become a great Mountain and fill the whole World and all the corners of it might see the Salvation of God that he would effectually call out of Babylon his captivated People that yet are detained in it that he would water abundantly with the fruitful Showers of his Grace all the Churches which his own Right-hand hath planted and that he with whom is plenty of Spirit would pour it out abundantly and furnish himself with fit Instruments to carry on the work of his own Glory and Salvation of Souls that he would give Pastors after his own Heart who might feed his People with Knowledge and Vnderstanding that they may be delivered from Ignorance Error Heresie and all Ungodliness that they may adorn the Gospel with such a Conversation as becomes it that all over whom the Name of Christ is called might depart from Iniquity Beseeching the Lord to pour out abundantly the true Spirit of the Gospel on all who made profession of it with all its Operations and Graces as a Spirit of Wisdom Knowledge and the Fear of God of Faith and Holiness Repentance and universal unreserved new Obedience especially as an healing Spirit of Unity and Peace mutual Forbearance true Christian Charity and Brotherly-Love and as a mighty Spirit of Grace and Supplication to obtain these Blessings for themselves and one another for the Churches of the neighbouring Nations round about by name that God would give them one Heart and one way that the nick-names of Lutherans and Calvinists might be forgotten and Ephraim and Judah might be one Stick in the Lord's Hand especially for the distressed Protestants of France that God would turn his Anger from them cause them to be pitied by their Brethren and effectually relieved that God would shew them why he contended with them help
Light and my Righteousness in those particulars as the Noon-day telling me nothing could ever make her shrink or quail but guilt of which blessed be God we comfortably knew there was not the least Spark to raise that Blasting Smoak How did she pray to God! for she knew the Case would bear Appeals to him How did she write to and sollicite Men How did she walk and ride and repeat long Journeys beyond her Strength Had not her Affections been both more strong and swift than Legs or Horse or Coach and when a Gentleman had treated her less obligingly than by a messuage sent from himself he had incouraged her to hope for by her meekness of Wisdom by her calm Replies and by a convincing prudent Letter which she wrote him she obtained this acknowledgment from him That she was a very good yea excellent Christian but no more of these matters let them be buried in her Grave they 'll not disturb her Rest and I heartily pray that when she shall rise to Glory they may rise to no Man's Shame Amen Amen Next to the things of God my Company was the delight and satisfaction of her Life and when I went from home she would importune my speediest return and if she had any Friend to visit she would take the opportunity of my absence that she might not be from me when at home and if any Family affairs gave more trouble and bustle she would not fail to have them finished whilst I was abroad that there might be no molesting puther or noise in my Sight and Hearing and as she often told me next to the pleasing God her greatest Care was that I might never be displeased If passing the love of Women be a superlative Expression hers was more than so passing the love of most Women that there was not a Man on Earth I had cause to envy as happier than my self in that respect She was a Wife according to my own Heart and even exceeded the Character of such an one as with most earnest Prayers I begged of God to vouchsafe to me when I was inclined to enter on the Marriage State In this God did abundantly for me beyond what I could ask or think and as a good Friend who came to comfort me since I lost her was pleased to phrase it alluding to the Expression Ezek. 20.6 Of God's giving the Land of Canaan to his People God had spied out a Wife for me and as we have some hundred times blest God for singling us out from all other Persons in the World to be joined in that most near Relation so I repeat those Praises with profoundest Gratitude from the bottom of a most humble Heart She would often come into my Study to me and when I have asked her what she would have she would reply Nothing My Dear but to ask thee how thou dost and see if thou wantest any thing and then with an endearing Smile would say Dost thou love me to which when I replied Most dearly I know it abundantly would she answer to my Comfort but I love to hear thee tell me so And once when I was adding the reasons of my Love and began first for Conscience she stopt me e'er I could proceed as she was very quick Ah my Dear I allow Conscience to be an excellent Principle in all we doe but like it worst in Conjugal Affection I would have thee love me not because thou must but because thou wilt not as a duty but delight we are prone to reluctate against what 's imposed but take Pleasure in what we chuse so innocently witty would she be They that have such Wives will easily pardon my fondness in this short Paragraph and that all may doe it I wish that no Man living had a worse but I 'll not offend the most sowre or most squeemish in like kind for the future As she was all the best of Wives could be in time of Health so if God sent Sickness more than is credible to any but Eye-witnesses It once pleased God to visit us with Sickness both together she was taken first my self in few days after and both so ill our death was expected by our selves and others but God was pleased to spare us longer I recovered first and when I could leave my Bed and creep into her Chamber the sight of me was like Life from the Dead She hath oft told me she could not express what alteration it made in her the joy so revived her Spirits it helped to cure her There 's not a Sickness nor imminent danger I escaped all the time we lived together which she hath not recorded with most ardent Prayers and signal Instances of God's gracious Answers of them and most lively Praises which might thaw a Heart of Ice into streams of devoutest Thankfulness which even the fear of being prolix can scarce restrain me from transcribing but I will confine my self to one out of very many November 30. 1675. being Saturday my Dear Husband came from London and not well with a Cold. The Lord's Day following he Preached both parts of the Day Monday he took Ruffi's Pills he grew very ill with his Cold which was accompanied with a Fever and a Pleurisie Tuesday Morning very early I sent for Dr. Yardly and Dr. Godfrey On the Wednesday I sent to London for Dr. Walter Needham My Dear Husband having Pains in his Side was by the appointment of his Physicians let-Blood three times After his third Bleeding he had a very sick Night but not sensible of his Illness for when I asked him how he did he said pretty well though to my apprehension he was very ill He groan'd all Night and very restless when I raised him in his Bed to take something to refresh him he had tremblings and a fumbling in his Speech and sometimes speak incoherently which made me fear he was a little delirous these bad Symptoms gave me the fear of the sudden approach of Death I again sent for Dr. Needham who lovingly came again to us These Colds with Fevers were then the Epidemical Disease both of City and Country of which many died by which distemper my Dear Husband was brought even to the Mouth of the Grave from which God mercifully retrieved and gave me him again Thus far the History of my Sickness by her Pen to which before I transcribe the Devotial Part I must add from my own Memory to the Praise of God's Grace and Patience The third time of my Bleeding was by my own peremptory Resolution which I hardly obtained the other Physicians consent to it being the night before Dr. Needham came the second time but God whose Mercy put it into my Mind inclined them to consent to the Arguments I used for it which were these I told them my Pain continued in my Side my Water as high and thick as ever my Heat also and dryness of my Mouth I raised purulent and bloody Matter and I bled at Nose and urged
sometimes two by the Glass She would be attentive at the reading the Scriptures in the Family and ask her Sister the meaning of some Passages she understood not She would constantly goe alone to Prayer She told one of the Maids the Devil tempted her to Play at Prayers but she had pray'd against him and that he did not trouble her so much since She desired one of her Sisters to grant her a Request and said that she must not deny her Which was Not to refuse any good Counsel when ever it was given her but to accept of it from whom soever it came Another time being with her Sisters as they sate at Work she told them all those things would be dirt in Heaven And it most concerned them to get their Sins Pardoned and an Interest in Jesus Christ Discoursing of the Vanity of this World and Happiness of being Good and fit for Heaven As she had opportunity she would frequently be giving good Counsel with much Sweetness and Gravity If she were ill she would strive to hide it for fear of Grief to her Father and my self saying when we ask'd her how she did Pretty well I thank God Four Days before she died when the Maid went to help her up in the Morning she told her she was very Sick but God would doe her good by that Sickness and she should love him the better for it In this last and short sickness she had very serious apprehensions of Death Said she should die but was not afraid of Death And desired she might die quietly and without disturbance The Physician desiring to give her a little Wine ask'd her if she loved Sack she answered No. He desired her to take a little She said she would if he pleased but she did not love it to fuddle with A few hours before she died she desired to go to Bed out of which she had been taken by reason of the Flegm that troubled her and I being unwilling she said she would now go to Bed for adieu and for all Where she fell a sleep in Jesus enfolded in the Arms of Everlasting Mercies She resigned up her Soul with these and the like Expressions Lord let me come to thee my Lord and my God And Lord Jesus receive my Spirit I acknowledge the Words were given her but she readily received them and oft repeated though she could not speak but with difficulty she had been so affable and winning to all Rich and Poor that many shed more Tears for her than at the departure of their own Children she was much desired in Life and of all who knew her much lamented at Death How partial soever this Relation may seem to any and as from bribed Affection yet I assert the Truth to God's Goodness who hath ordained Praises in the Mouths of Babes and Sucklings and hath I humbly hope now perfected the same in the Consummation of her Eternal Bliss in the Fruition of himself to his Everlasting Praises I have hitherto in this Account left out many remarkable Passages for Brevity let me obtain liberty to transcribe the rest of the Paragraph verbatim word for word as her Pen left it Lord I bless thee that of Eleven for whom I Praise thee thou hast yet spared me two I beseech thee if it may consist with thy good Pleasure continue them in this World keeping them from the Evil of it to a good Old-Age choice Instruments of thy Glory God Lord Sanctifie them with thy Grace and Holy-Spirit and with an Indelible Character and Inscription stamp thy own Image on them that they may be thine by Grace and Adoption Lord be thou their God and Portion I beseech thee put them not off with any thing less than thy self Good Lord I beg that thou wilt take a through and full Possession of their Souls and give them to retrieve my Errors by a more early knowing serving and loving of thee and punish none of mine Iniquities with their Sins but keep them blameless to thy Everlasting Kingdom and bind up their Souls in the bundle of Eternal Life Amen Amen January 23. 1669. Was a day of Mercy to me in the midst of my Affliction being Lord's Day my sweet Mary lying then Dead with us in the House the extremity of my Affection forced me into the Chamber where she then lay a cold piece of Clay I there poured out my Soul to God in Prayer and from thence returned into to the Chamber of my signal Mercies I have received from God who comforteth those who are cast down Though he denied my vehement Desires and wrestlings with him in the time of her Sickness for her longer continuance with me in this World the Lord abundantly made up and compensated my Loss I took my Bible and my Intention was to Read in the New-Testament to allay my own Grief with the dolorous Sufferings of my Saviour but my Bible suddenly fell open in my Lap and my Eye presently fixed upon Habbak 1.12 which was powerfully set home upon my Heart with great Comfort and Refreshment with full Measure running over streams of Mercy and Loving Kindness yeaâ— of tenderest Mercies flowing into my Soul an Eternal God in exchange of a transient Comfort The Lord tendered me himself who is from Everlasting with this Propriety the Lord my God opposing his all-sufficient Righteousness against all my Unrighteousness My Holy One I should not Dye but Live Lord how hast thou silenced my inordinate Passions and Affections in superabundantly out-bidding all Creature-Comforts and Relations I beseech thee enable me so to live here that I may ever live with thee where I shall sin no more and Grief Sorrow and Sighing shall flee away The same Lord's Day in the Afternoon my Daughter Elizabeth whom God gave me June 8. 1658. to our great Satisfaction and Comfort suddenly broke out into a Flood of Tears and most Pathetical Vehement Desires after God and his Grace with Confession and bewailing of her Sins with such sensible and suitable Expressions as shewed it came from her very Soul which drew plenty of Tears of Love and Admiration from us all O my God how shall I love thee how shall I Praise thee for this Grace which I trust was the Work of thy Blessed Spirit Good Lord confirm and establish the Thoughts of her Heart before thee for Ever This day was a Tragi-Comedy if I may so speak Bitterness turn'd into surprizing Sweetness Weeping had continued for a Night but Joy came in before the succeeding Morning even Joy unspeakable and full of Glory I never remembred my Dear under such transports of Spiritual Peace and Satisfaction as from the Consolations of God from the Manifestations of his Love which flowed into her Soul from that Scripture above-named and I may truly say the Impressions of it never wore wholly off but even at many Years distance the naming of those Words would renew the Spiritual Relish she tasted in them and the briny Tears for the natural
Death of one very desirable Child were swallowed up by the Tears of Gladness for the lively Symptoms of the spiritual Birth of another not less dear to us The House was a Bokim not one dry Eye the Pathetick Earnestness with which the Child cried for Pardon and supplies of Grace enflamed and melted all that heard her and the abundance of Tears she shed so freely were like Water put into a Pump it brought up even Buckets full from all that saw them What would I not give for such another Evening I know there are too many in the World who will make these things the Subject of their Mirth and Scorn and opening other Books much oftner than the Holy Bible would be more affected with an auspicious Cut or turning up a lucky Trump than lighting on the divinest Promise in the Sacred Volumes and will stigmatize such Impressions with the Contemptuous Brand of Enthusiasm or at the mildest slight them as the Effects of warm'd Fancy But let them alone I 'll not disturb their pleasing Dreams yet Wisdom is Justified of her Children and though I will not presume to say We speak Wisdom to them who are Perfect and write such things for them who have their Senses Exercised to discern and relish them Yet I cannot but call to Mind how Petrus Blesensis endorsed his Treatise of the Love of God Secretum meum mihi My Secret to my self and I hope this will meet with some Readers to whom it may not be as insipid as the White of an Egg to allude to Job's Expression and for those who think it the cheapest and quickest way to ease their Minds in their unacquaintedness with such things to ridicule them in others I say Mock on I pass by for Brevity-sake many excellent Passages of most Exemplary Piety in several Pages relating to the Occurrences of near three Year Then follows In the beginning of September 1671. my Daughter Elizabeth had a great Fit of Sickness which brought her very low a Fever with a Rhumatism we had the Advice of eight or nine Physicians from London and Chelmsford and five upon the Place c. My self watched many Nights with her the time I could spare in my careful attendance on her I spent in Prayers and Tears at the Throne of Grace in her behalf from whence I had a Mercifull Return One Night she rutled and breathed short which made me fear the approach of Death I having by me Oil of Sweet-Almonds new drawn I desired to give her some of it but was afraid to attempt it and her Stomach did so nauseate what was given her though in it self Pleasant I went from her into another Chamber and earnestly besought God if he saw it good for her to incline her to a willing taking of it I brought her five or six Spoonfuls in a Silver Cup which she received of me without speaking one Word against it and drank it off without the least reluctancy or Regret I do most heartily bless God who did not cast out my Prayer the Oil caused her to Vomit much tough Flegm and withal gently Purged her after which she recovered Health I thank God Blessed God I beseech thee enable her to render to thee suitable returns of Love and Obedience that the residue and remainder of her days here may be in thy Fear not to offend thee but faithfully to serve thee who didst remember and help her in her low Estate that when thou shalt Consummate her Days on Earth she may be ever with thee in thy Eternal Kingdom and Glory Amen I shall conclude this Section with the Account of her Carriage and Demeanour in the last Sickness and Death of this Dearly Beloved Child I confess she is very large in what she writes of it therefore I shall contract it what I can though I find not an impertinent Line in so many Pages and I hope it will not seem tedious because it is so suitable to the End I design which is to propound her Example of Motherly Affection and Christian Submission to and Holy Improvement of God's smarty Tryals She thus begins I have now one of the saddest of God's Providences to record which hath befallen me in the Comforts of this Life I beseech God to sanctifie it to me and those concerned with me Then having at large related all the Circumstances of her Sickness she proceeds She was sixteen Years three Months and eleven Days old when she dyed After fourteen Days Sickness of the Small-Pox she changed her Corruptible State I humbly hope into Immortal Glory where she shall never Sin and the Effects of Sin shall be no more She was a very Beautifull and Lovely Woman c. God gave her a good understanding c. And so having described her Body and Mind exactly she corrects herself but thus to Characterize her may not suit my Pen But I may acknowledge these Accomplishments to the Praise of God's Goodness The ground of my Comfort is her sweet Inclination to the things of God and her Souls concerns as to her eternal State unto which she is gone unspotted from the gross defilements of the World and was Mercifully preserved from ever falling into any scandalous Sin and is set out of the reach of Sin Temptation and Sorrows got into Harbour off a Tempestuous Sea I bless God we have good hopes of her Eternal Peace and Safety for besides a blameless Conversation free from gross Enormities she was very Conscientious in the Duties of Religion she would always speak the Truth She was meek of Spirit very humble and charitable to the Poor and Pitifull and would relieve them as far as she had wherewith to do it she was very tender-hearted fearfull of Sin and of being found an Hypocrite Besides Family-Prayers she Worshipped God in private twice a Day in secret Prayer in the Morning she read the Scriptures and in the Afternoon spent an hour or more in reading good Books She did exhort others to serious Piety and in time of Health would be counselling and advising the Servants privately to be Religious and to take heed of delaying and putting off their Returns to God She had great Impressions on her Heart as to the carefull observation of the Sabbath and when she had made any digression with Worldly Discourse with others she would make acknowledgment she had done amiss a Sin lightly considered and as little bewailed ' Then she relates the Impressions of Gods Spirit on her Heart when twelve Years old of which before and her Patient and Pious Carriage in her Sickness three Years before this Then proceeds She had also Experience of Spiritual Temptations but resisted them with Abhorrence In this her last Sickness she acquainted me with them telling me she had been much troubled with a wicked thing I asked her what it was she said she would not speak it for all the World it made her fear lest she had committed the Sin against the Holy-Ghost Poor Lamb she
all my neglects of my relative Duty I desire to own thy Righteousness and that thou hast punished me less than my Iniquities deserve I bless thee that thou hast spared to me my dear Husband I beseech thee mightily to furnish him with the Gifts and Graces of thy Spirit and give him a long continuance in this Life very instrumental to thy glory the benefit and great advantage of thy Church and People and at last full fruition of thy self in eternal Glory Lord I bless thee that thou still intrusts us Parents to a Child I beseech thee bless this onely one and inable us with much Wisdom and Diligence to exhort instruct and train up for thee her thou hast yet spared to us Good Lord bless her and she shall be blessed Bless her in Soul with the plentifull Effusions of thy Holy Spirit and all the Graces of it Bless her Body with an healthfull Constitution and Honour her with long Life in the ways of Righteousness Suffer not her heart to be set on the gilded Vanities of this World but grant her of the things of this Life what thou thinkest good for her and be thou her God and Portion and when thou shalt conclude her days on Earth I beseech thee receive her to thy heavenly Kingdom Amen Amen I am sensible of the length of the preceding Section and will not make it longer by a needless and useless Apology needless to those who are acquainted with the actings of that sweet Spirit that breathed so fragrantly in her on such occasions and useless to those who are not only Strangers but Enemies to such a temper of Mind and had it contained but twenty lines would have esteemed it too long by fifteen of them I shall endeavour brevity in those which follow SECT XVII Renewed Assaults of her Enemy by Temptation THis was her almost constant trouble for many Years which she used to call emphatically Her Affliction For 't was with her one of his living Members as with our Blessed Lord her and our Head of whom I noted above When the Devil had finished all his present Temptations he departed from him for a season which clearly intimates his returning to renew his Assaults She sometimes had a breathing time vouchsafed her by the gratious Restraints God laid upon her Enemy but usually not very long for using to afford her the best Assistance that I could I sometimes for some Weeks or Months have refrained to mention them that I might not awaken the sleeping Lion and she taking no notice of them I have often said I hope my Dear thou hast been now some good space free from thy Affliction Alas my Dear would she reply with a deep sigh I have kept silence because I would not weary thee with my continual complaints And other whiles would gratefully acknowledge God's goodness in yielding her some Respite some Calms and quiet Intervals Yet after the Day God so strongly comforted her by Habakkuk i. 12. though I cannot say she was wholly free I do not remember she ever complained of her Temptations being either too fierce or frequent as they had been before nor did she once mention them in her last Sickness Blessed be God's goodness to her This cruel but cowardly Enemy usually made his fiercest Onsets when she was exercised with Indisposition of Mind or Body I will give one Instance of each First Under Indisposition of Mind with great Sorrow In the beginning of May 1680. an Affliction befel me my former Troubles returned upon me A wound not healed brake forth with deep Trouble of Mind much Afflicted with blasphemous Suggestions The good Lord rebuke them and with his All-sufficient Grace cast out of my Soul whatever may offend and provoke him to so severe a Scourge which in my own strength I am not able to stand under so unsupportable is the burthen But the good Lord give me to see that by the supporting Grace of his former Compassions I am preserved from the poisonous infection of them Satan taking advantage of my melancholy Disposition growing upon me after the Death of my dearly beloved Child Mrs. Margaret Cox renewed these Assaults And as in such Cases the subtile malitious Enemy will follow his blow home as far as he is suffered and multiply every Molehill into a Mountain as we speak Proverbially so he endeavoured to increase her disquiet by another very small Circumstance For she proceeds in her Complaint I had also a great damp and check on my earnest Endeavours to teach my little Boy his Book He at little more than three Years old would read well in his Primmer on a sudden he forsook it not through any evil Disposition in him I am not able to give an acccount of it but it occasioned me much grief and trouble But I bless God for his Mercy to me Half a Year after I began a-new with him and he hath with greater readiness to it and love of it learned much better than before So indulgently condescending was the divine Goodness to relieve her suitably and prevent the occasions her Enemy catch'd at to disturb her by Secondly Under Indisposition of Body by a long Sickness It pleased God to suffer my old Enemy impetuously to assault me This Visitation was very cloudy which then I could not see through nor apprehend God's Goodness though he vouchsafed many discoveries of his Favour to me I shall not multiply Passages of the same import nor pursue all the Methods her Christian Prudence made use of for her support as frequent Conference with my self and some few choice Christian Friends whom she much esteemed for their great Piety experience in spiritual Matters and prevalence with God in Prayer She made no noise with her Troubles revealed them but to few and to those whom she judged fittest to counsel and comfort her and sympathize with her in her Temptations as having had Experience of the like or been oft consulted by them who had But her best Defence was to take to her self the whole Armour of God and her chief Refuge was to the Throne of Grace to appeal to God who comforteth them who are cast down and to wrestle with God for help in time of need whom she used to importune to teach her hands to war and her fingers to fight in her spiritual Warfare and to carry on the War at his own Charge because the Quarrel was his and managed against the grand Enemy of his Glory as much as of her Peace I shall transcribe a Paper which I find Endorsed thus In time of Temptation writ by me Elizabeth Walker O Most holy wise powerfull gratious faithfull unchangeable and eternal God I thy poor afflicted Creature tossed on Waves and Billows of Sin and Temptation fly unto thee for Refuge in this Storm begging of thee thy supporting Grace helping me against the Assaults of my spiritual Enemies by what wile soever they invade my Soul with abhorr'd impure Motions vile and detestable Suggestions which
through thy Grace I loath O blessed Lord and enter my solemn Protest against them Defiance and Detestation of them Good God I would not have an irreverent thought of thy sacred Being incomprehensible and most excellent Perfection and transcendent Glory which I would and do with my whole Heart Soul and all the Powers of my whole Man with all integrity acknowledge and subscribe to with mine own Hand to which O Lord I beg the Seal of thy Spirit as a Witness to my Soul that I am in Christ Jesus thy Child and Servant Elizabeth Walker Engaged I am O Lord by Covenant with thee in Baptism to fight thy Battels I beseech thee put on me that whole and compleat Armour that I may be able to resist my strong Enemies which war against my Soul and fight against thee Blessed Lord I desire to prostrate my self at thy Feet in the deepest sense of my own Unworthiness that thou shouldest look upon and help such a Miscreant and forlorn Sinner But for his sake that never sinned I beseech thee support me with thy compassionate Mercy to me a loathsome and defiled Sinner and give me not over to spiritual Judgments hardness of Heart blindness of Mind Impenitency an evil Heart of Unbelief departing from thee Give me not up into the Hands of them that hate me and would work my Ruine I beseech thee do not chuse my Delusions leaving me to a deceivable Heart to which I dare not trust without the Guards of thy Holy Spirit Leave me not O God to my own strength in which I cannot doe the least good and without thine shall fall into the greatest evils of Soul and Body and sink to the bottom of the bottomless Pit of Sin and eternal Misery from which O God I beseech thee let thy unfathomed Mercy in Christ Jesus speedily prevent me and give a mortal stab to all my Corruptions by what Course soever thou wilt take with me only let me fall into thy Compassionate Hands Good Lord bind up my Wounds and heal my Putrifying Soars I beseech thee forsake me not in the time of my older Age when Strength faileth and suffer not the defects of my Body to become the Sin of my Soul I beseech thee suffer no Tryal to be above my Strength but Blessed Lord thou that hast suffered being Tempted make a way for me that I may be able to bear it I beseech thee lay that Hand on me thou tookest hold on Peter with that I may not sink in the deep Waters in which there is no standing Good Lord suffer no Weapon formed against me to Prosper but bring me up out of my Astonishments and Confusions of Soul though the Enemy break in like a Flood let thy Holy Spirit in my Heart lift up a Standard against him Good Lord take a full Possession of my Soul and suffer no Rival with thee let me be guided governed and acted by thee Good Lord let no Sin have Dominion over me I beseech thee fill my Heart and Soul with the Graces of thy Blessed Spirit Deep Reverentialness of thee much Love Fervour and Zeal for thy Glory which I beseech thee cause to be ever very and exceeding dear and precious to me and suffer not the Envenomed Arrows of my Enemy to stick on me but I beseech thee quench all those Fiery Darts the Poison of them drinketh up my Spirits Good Lord apply to my Soul that healing Balsam made of the Blood of the Son of God and with an Indelible Character let thy Law be written on my Heart O Blessed God Father Saviour Sanctifier I beseech thee make this the transcript of my Soul in an Holy Life in Submission and Obedience to thee in all things with all possible Adoration Thanksgiving and Praise unto thee O Lord most due in Heaven and on Earth to which I say Amen Amen Amen She Read also all the good Books with intentest Diligence she could enquire out or be informed of on this Subject and wept Buckets of Tears to quench those Fiery Darts which though she had an Excellent Eye brought her many Years since to the use of Spectacles and caused her oft to use the Psalmist's Expression My Eye is Consumed because of Grief and waxeth Old because of my Enemy And would often Pray that her Bodily-Infirmities might not be her Souls Dis-advantages and say That though they were not her Sins they were the Effects of them Thus was her Life a continual Warfare in which she fought the good Fight of Faith and was more than Conqueror through him that loved her and helped her and I am comfortably upon good Grounds persuaded hath received a glorious Crown of Righteousness from him whose Appearance she so heartily Loved and so constantly and earnestly waited for Her Warfare is accomplished and she rests from these and all her Labours and as she overcame in his Strength who taught her Hands to War and Fingers to Fight and covered her Head in the Day of Battel so to him be all the Glory and Eternal Praises Amen Amen SECT XVIII Friends she used to Pray for I Subjoyn to the Precedent an Account of another Paper which as the last abovenamed I found in a distinct Sheet with this Title A Catalogue of Christian Friends whom I desire in a peculiar manner to present in my poor Prayers to God at the Throne of his Grace and that God would doe for them for Soul and Body above what I can ask Then follows this Prayer GRacious God thou hast commanded to Pray for all Men but especially for the Houshold of Faith Lord thou never saidst Seek my Face in vain but hast with great Condescention and Encouragement Invited thy People to make their Addresses to thee for themselves and others And hast joyned with the Command thy Promise to hear and grant agreeable to thy Will what is best for us Lord thou givest Liberally and dost not upbraid and wilt not send thy People away Empty seeing thou always hast it plentifully by thee I come unto thee in the Name and for the Sake and alone Righteousness Merits and Mediation of thy Son and my alone Saviour Jesus Christ in the behalf of my Self and Christian Friends Lord I beg of thee for thy Church and peculiar People and by name present before thee some known to me my Christian Friends them and their Joynt-Relations Good Lord shower down on them the Blessings of Prayer Gracious God I do beseech thee extend thy choicest Favours to my most near Relations my Dear Husband my Dear Grandson his Father and his Relations with my other near Relations Good Lord be very gracious to our Neighbouring Ministry Mr. Alchorne Mr. Hublon Mr. Loe Mr. Arrowsmith Doctor Fuller Mr. Siday with the rest Lord give them the Plentifull Encrease of their Labours the ingrafting many Souls into thy Kingdom And be very gracious to those who have known my Soul in Adversity and have been earnest Petitioners in my behalf at thy Throne of
enquired he of them the Hour when he began to amend And they said unto him Yesterday at the seventh Hour the Fever left him so the Father knew it was the same Hour in which Jesus said unto him Thy Son Liveth and himself Believed and his whole House She intimates that and when she powred out her Requests to God in my behalf and that her Heart was much quieted and she went to her Rest and God gave her the Repose of the Night and I know it was the same Hour in which I was delivered from those violent Men and I do believe God heard her Prayer and Bless him for it And O that others would believe him to be a God hearing Prayer and would be encouraged to call earnestly upon him There follow after this more than twenty eminent Dangers by afflictive trying Providences and very signal Deliverances from them I 'll touch but one of all these before I reach one at about thirty Years distance from what I last mentioned though all attended with Devout Reflections July 4. 1676. My Dear Husband was under some Indisposition of Health he was Feverish I feared he would have had a Fit of Sickness which had very sorrowful oppressive Impressions on me My Dear Husband then made his Will that is a new one for I had made one many Years before and read it to me exprest his much Endearing Affections to me in his great Love and Care of me with so great a part of his Estate he gave to me for my Plentifull Susistence after his Decease This Kindness I desire to acknowledge with Thankfulness to God and my Dear Husband Lord I Bless thee for thy sparing Mercy in the reparation of my Dear Husband's Health which I beseech thee continue to length of Days in this Life and when this shall be no more Lord crown with thy exceeding Weight of Eternal Glory Amen Amen Since which making another Will I gave her my whole Estate Personal and Real what designed for Charity and a few Legacies excepted with power to sell any or all my Lands lest any un-foreseen Emergency should need extraordinary Supplies but she earnestly intreated me to alter that Power of Selling being abundantly satisfied to confine herself to the Personal Estate and Revenue of the Land which I gave her liberty to raise Money upon to be repayed in some Years after her Death to make as sure as I could she should never want any thing which I was able to supply her with which I mention to encourage Wives to deserve as well and Husbands to compensate so well-deserving Wives What should have been immediately subjoyned to my Escape from violent Men in 1660 because of the too great similitude between them is my deliverance in 1685. I will not say from more unrighteous yet I must say from those which are more inexcusable for God himself seems to extenuate the Fault of them who in Necessity take from others to satisfie their own Hunger and pressing Wants but I never read that either God or any Man except those like them excused those who sin of Malicious Wickedness and gain nothing besides the filling up the Measure of their Iniquities but the satisfaction of their own spightful Malice in troubling and afflicting others I will not transcribe what her Pen so largely so truly so piously sets down on this occasion only the number of the Days which I confess she calls the short Triumph of the being exactly Ten puts me in mind of Rev. 2.10 and if this fall into the Hands of any who made themselves Accessories and guilty post factum by a snearing Pleasure they took in the wicked Oppression of the Innocent I pray God give them Repentance And I think it is no harder to forgive them than it was for Tertullian to glory in the Christians behalf that Nero was their first Persecutor whom he speaking in their Name calls Damnationis nostrae Dedicatorem It must needs be good which Nero persecutes And we have a surer word St. John 15.18 19. A great many more afflictive Dispensations the Divine Wisdom and Faithfulness saw good to exercise us with to enforce us often to the Throne of Grace to obtain Mercy to help in time of need and many most signal and surprizing Deliverances from them did his Goodness and Loving-kindness seasonably vouchsafe us from them and most gracious Supports did his tender Compassions afford us under them frequently bringing Meat out of the Eater good out of evil filling thereby our Hearts with his Love and our Mouths with Songs of Praise and Thanksgivings to him the Rock of our Salvation and our Refuge in times of Trouble and repeated Experiences of his readiness to pity and to succour us raising up those hopes which make not ashamed All which she records with so savoury a sense of God's Mercy and such lively Expressions of most humble and holy Hallelujahs as might inspire most serious Sentiments into the Reader but I shall slide over them in silence because as I hope many do not need those Sparks to kindle their gratitude into Flames so many are of so prejudiced a frame of Spirit that to use so base a word as fitted to so base a temper of Mind they would rather put them out than suffer them to kindle into a blaze of Devotion on so damp an Hearth as are the Hearts steep'd in impure noisome Lusts not only destitute of all Sense of the Power of Godliness but implacable Enemies to it in all who own and love it SECT XX. Of our going to Tunbridge-Wells THough it be known to many that we most frequently went to Tunbridge-Wells from 1661 and after some Intermissions almost every Year till 1689. yet more may wonder why I write a Section of it here to which this short Account might serve for answer I doe it because I find so much concerning it under her Pen who is the Subject and occasion of the whole But that 's not all it is to shew how she behaved her self there as well as with what Christian Frame of Spirit she attended God's Providence in expectation of a Blessing from him who made the Fountains of Waters and gave to them their usefull Properties and rendred them very beneficial to her Many 't is true go thither solely or chiefly to drink these Waters for their Health but it is as true many go thither for Pleasure and Diversion only as many for a mixed reason including both and to this last Rank belongs her going thither But lest any should be surprized by this I must Interpret my self She went thither to drink the Waters which oft proved very advantageous to her and that End was common to her with many others and she went for Divertisement and Pleasure as many more and this also was common to her with Hundreds in Sound but not in Sense or Meaning and it may be was peculiar to her and it is possible few if any ever went so many years to Tunbridge-Wells
Jesus in Sincerity she loved the Lord her God with all her Heart and all her Soul with all her Might and all her Strength and her Neighbour as herself She would speak evil of no Man do evil to no Man but did all the good she could as she had opportunity especially to the Houshold of Faith And though she loved the whole World with a love of Benevolence she loved those chosen out of the World with a Love of Complacency She had a peculiar Esteem of and Affection for God's People Her choice delight was in the Saints and those who excelled in Vertue She was not ashamed to be accounted their Sister whom Christ was not ashamed to call his Brethren the Profession but much more the power of Godliness was so far from being terminus Diminuens an abatement of her value and kindness that it much endeared those to her in whom she found it and fastened those Bonds more strongly which had been tyed by Nature Neighbourhood or Friendly Conversation I excuse not the length of this Section it being not easy to write too much of that of which she never thought she practised enough though she had as it were habituated it into her Constitution it being as the Element in which she lived SECT XXIV Of her Care to advance God's Glory and the Salvation of Souls I have so far prevented my self in both those in what I have already written of her that scarce any thing remains to be farther added anew concerning them and I confess it seems to my self somewhat improper to make a distinct Section of what is the Subject of the whole The Care to promote those was as the Spinal Marrow in the Body yea as the Soul which animated the whole as the Pith which ascends from the Root of a Tree through the Trunk to every Branch and Twig She set the Lord continually before her had respect to him in all her Thoughts and Words and Actions and reveered his Presence in all her Natural Moral Civil and Religious Performances Seeing him that was Invisible that nothing might escape from her which would provoke or dishonour him who is of purer Eyes than to behold Iniquity she yielded the Throne of her Heart to God and whether she spake or wrote to others or Prayed for them she exhorted or entreated that the Interest of God's Glory might be uppermost obtain the Supremacy and nothing be its Rival or stand in competition with it Such Expressions frequently occurring in many of the Passages above related and transcribed from her Papers and for the promoting the Salvation of others she remembred and practised our Saviour's Counsel to St. Peter Thou when thou art Converted strengthen thy Brethren I have given account above of her indefatigable Care and zealous Diligence in instructing Children Servants Neighbours and it is unreasonable to conclude I have little to say on this Head because I will not say over again what I had so fully said before Her Converse was generally very Serious Savory Edifying few have come to see me since she dyed who have not told me how frequently and faithfully she used to give them good Advice and Exhortations to be sincerely Religious and indeed she was endowed with an extraordinary measure of Courage Prudence Faithfulness to give necessary free kind and seasonable Reproofs Admonition and Instructions and would not suffer Sin to be upon their Souls whom she had any opportunity to rescue from it at least would use her best Endeavours to effect so good a Work and would speak so home and plainly to them who needed it that I confess I have sometimes thought she rather exceeded and have between our selves intimated so much to her to which she would wisely and with just Apology reply My Dear we must deal freely and speak home in such Cases not mince the Matter and speak slightly it will not be minded if we do and as good never a whit as never the better it is well if all we can say will effect what it is said for and if they be not convinced both of their own Errour and our Good-will and made to feel what we speak by our plain and faithfull Earnestness all the rest is lost to them and us they 'll be no better for it and we shall not have the comfort of discharging the part and duty of true Christian Friendship And she had often good success but once above other times so eminent and signal I can hardly forbear to relate it and I have heard her more than once or twice make mention of it with Thankfulness and Comfort and as a good encouragement to do the like She had a very awakened Sense and deep impressions on her Mind of that Estate which is on the other side of Death and was full fraught with Love and Pity to Immortal Souls and would do all she could to the saving of her own and others and therefore accounted all kindest offices not worth the name of true Friendship which stopped short and reached not to at least had not a fair tendency towards the Eternal Salvation of her Friends SECT XXV Several Graces in which she was most Eminent I Have cause to repent those hasty Thoughts set down before page the 50th as Heads to be touched more fully by which I have made my self Debtor to the Reader 's Expectation to write somewhat of the Title of this Section for when I set my Thoughts to single out in the Prospect of them all which shined with the greatest Lustre all were so fair and bright I am at a loss on which to fix the Preference For I may say of her with Modesty and Truth what St. Gregory Nazianzen saith of his Sister Gorgonia with wonder That she excelled in all Vertues and St. Jerome of Nepotian that he was so Eminent in all Graces as if he had excelled but in some one alone She was compleat in Christ had taken to herself the whole Armour of God not an almost-Christian but throughly furnished to every good Word and Work And as God had preserved her that though she was assaulted by many Buffetting Temptations she was not overcome by them and that no Iniquity had Dominion over her to Reign in her Mortal Body or Immortal Soul to blot her Name or Profession with any Scandalous Offence so every Grace of the Spirit with all which she was very plenteously adorned exerted its self with Vigour was not raked up in faint and lazy Habits Her Knowledge in which the New Man is renewed and without which the Wise Man tells us the Heart cannot be good was clear solid and indeed Masculine beyond the Proportion of her Sex and Degree as may appear by all she wrote and she would discourse and argue very knowingly and with sound Judgment upon any Point of Divinity as occasion offered The Oil which fed this Lamp was her much Reading good Books but especially the Holy Scriptures in which she meditated Day and Night and if
and Songs of Thanksgivings who did so anticipate that State and Work whilst here below She hath left sixteen whole Pages of one form of Thanksgiving which she begins thus Lord what shall I render to thee for all thy unspeakable Benefits in thy Mercies to me I beseech thee in the remembrance of them let thy Holy Spirit excite and stir up in my Heart a thankfull Acknowledgment Lord I bless thee for thy self in whom all Perfection is Eternal and Unchangeable an Everliving and Immortal God filled with all adorable Excellency the Author and Original of all things the first Principle of all good who art most amiable to an Intellectual Eye most adequate and proportionable most suitable to Immortal Beings Thou Lord art the Felicity and Bliss of Souls c. And so she proceeds sixteen whole Pages without any vain Tautologies only beginning the several Paragraphs with Lord I bless thee or the like this is written the most curiously of any thing I yet have found of hers and continues to the End with most raised Fervours of Holy Praises I can scarce forbear to say with flowing streams of sweet and Pious Eloquence I will venture my Reader 's Candour to excuse my adding the last Lines I bless thee for the hopes I have of a glorious Resurrection when thou wilt be glorified in thy Saints thou wilt say to the North give up and to the South keep not back that thy Sons may be brought from far and thy Daughters from the ends of the Earth and all as Faithfull Depositories shall restore to thee at that universal Jubilee then shall my Dust arise and Praise thee I bless thee for thy Kingdom afree Donation and Inheritance of thy Saints there shall be no pricking Briar or grieving Thorn when I shall neither fin nor sorrow any more but for ever be in the Exaltation of Eternal Bliss where thy Angels Cherubims and Seraphims adore and worship thee with the highest fervour of Zeal and Love and where my Soul shall shine in its full Strength in thy Everlasting Praises Amen Amen Amen And there is not one Line less warm and savoury in all the other than are this Beginning and Conclusion of it The time would fail me to recount and reckon up all the other Graces in which she was Eminent and to blazon their Lustre and reflect their Brightness The tenderness of her Conscience which was very remarkable as I could Evidence in many Particulars this Pulse of her Soul beat very quick but withall was very even and uniform she used not to strain at Gnats and swallow Cammels Her Rule was in dubious Cases always to chuse the safest to the best of her Judgment not to consult with Flesh and Blood and be swayed by the Advice they suggested to do nothing rashly but with due and prudent Deliberation She was affraid of Sin as Sin and therefore of all Sin and would abstain from all appearance of Evil. Though she was not such a Stoick as to esteem all Sins equal yet she esteemed none in it self little because there is no little God to sin against no little Law to be despised no little Heaven to be lost no little Hell to be endured But an Almighty God a Royal Law an Heaven of unconceivable Glory and an Hell of endless and easeless Torments were concerned in all and it renders the least Sin in its own Nature a very great one to venture on it boldly against the light and dictates of Conscience Her Care to improve that Inch of precious Time on which so vast an Eternity depends was very signal She squandered not an Hour scarce suffered a Moment to run waste she used she knew no Games nor needed other to relax or recreate her Spirits but vicissitude and variety of commendable Imployment the change of Business sufficiently relieved her when she was weary of one she counted it a Refreshment to set upon another As a Traveller who sometimes Rides and sometimes Walks but still proceeds continues his Journey changes his Posture but not his Design and few ever made Religion their Business more intently and with fewer Interruptions Her publick Spiritedness should not be forgotten the concerns of the Nation especially of the Church lay very near her Heart She preferred Jerusalem before her chief Joy I will wrap up this Section with two which were diffused and spread over all the rest Her Zeal and her Humility Zeal is not so properly a distinct peculiar Grace as the Cream and Flower of them all the Oil which swims upon the waters of the Sanctuary the Varnish which both preserves them from fading and gives a shining advantageous Lustre to all the Colours with which the lively Picture of the new Creature is drawn not a distinct piece of the Divine Armour but the Edge and Keenness the Furbishing and Brightness both of offensive and defensive Arms. Her Zeal was very vigorous and lively she knew not what it was to be dull and sluggish Whatever her Hand found to do she did it with all her Might and Nature which too often is the remora of Grace in her was a nimble and useful Hand-maid to it She had an agile active Body Spare and Lean feared to be Fat saying She hated to be clogged with a foggy bulk of Flesh and of a vivacious sprightly Soul and these streams being in the right Channel Whafted her as Wind and Tide to her desired Port and Harbour that she was never becalmed or Wind-bound but Sailed amain and kept on her Course with swiftest Expedition till she had finished it with Safety and with Joy not that I ascribe it solely or chiefly to these but principally to the Divine Gales of the Holy Spirit of God so freely and plenteously vouchsafed to her that Wind which Bloweth where it listeth And for ever Blessed be his Goodness which so often filled her Sails Lastly She was cloathed with Humility as the Apostle counsels this I might call her Dust-gown for the aptness of the Allusion but it hung not so loose about her but was girded on with the Girdle of Truth about her Loins she wore it constantly no dress was more becoming herself or others in her Account she studied to bring it into Fashion by her Example and Advice she bought several of Mr. W. A's Treatises of that Subject to give to Friends those who received them will attest it and I hinted before she had made preparations to write a Tractate of it Amongst other things she had to say of it she had prepared this Encomium That it is the Foundation that gives Stability the Strength which gives Security the Ornament that reflects Beauty and the Completion which gives the finishing stroaks to all other Graces I shall not after all this need to draw her Character distinctly if I do any thing in that it shall be added in the close of all I am now arrived at my Mournfull Heavy Loss and her much waited for and desired Gain and great
Advantage her much bewailed Death to prepare for which had been her daily work for many Years which happened February the 23d this present Year 1690. Her Sickness was short but blessed be God her great Work was not then to do She began to complain Wednesday Noon but dined with me took her Bed that Afternoon with design to sweat with a Dose of the Lady Kent's Powder but could not sweat I sent for Dr. Yardly early Thursday Morning a Vein was opened other Administrations ordered which seemed to succeed so well that we had scarce any apprehensions of Danger She sate up four hours Saturday till seven at Night and thought herself and so did we refreshed and better by it but a complicated Disease a Rheumatism Erysipelas and Peripneumonia by God's Wise and Holy Righteous Ordering prevailed against her Strength and our Hopes And on the Lord's Day she passed to her dearest Lord and the well-beloved Bridegroom of her Soul to begin that Eternal Sabbath which shall never be interrupted nor cease She spake not much in her Sickness hindred by the shortness of her Breath and swelling of her Face What she did was suitable to her Holy Life and I believe God hid from her as well as us the near approach of her Death in Mercy to us all One of the last Words she spake to me was before my going to Church A short Prayer my Dear before thou goest She was Buried February the 27th following with that decency which is fitter for others to relate than my self and now she sleeps in Jesus who by his Burial perfumed and warmed that Bed of the Grave for all his Members where we leave her in hopes of a Glorious Resurrection when her Dust shall rise to praise him AN APPENDIX Containing some few of the Directions she wrote for her Childrens Instruction mentioned Sect. 12. And some few Letters written by her I Desire it may be remembred she wrote these not for grown and experienced Christians who might be fitter to instruct her than be assisted by her much less with the least Prospect they should ever be published or seen by many Eyes my own never saw them till hers were closed but I hope may be useful for young ones and Beginners and as such I recommend them to her Friends to communicate to their Children if they think good and have not given them better of their own and therefore it is not just to measure her Abilities by the scantling of this Performance but to consider the End to which it was designed to suit the Capacities and assist the tender Minds of those for whom they were written when I guess they might be about twelve or fourteen years of Age for one of them died at sixteen and with this equitable Allowance I hope they may be very passable if not commendable and usefull For my Dear Children Mrs. Margaret and Elizabeth Walker IT is the duty of Christians to Pray fervently and frequently with Faith with Humility with Sincerity with Constancy with watchfulness in the Spirit with Warmth and Life Prayer is a means whereby we give Worship to God giving him the Glory of all his adorable Perfections Prayer is the Soul's Motion to God Desire and Expectation are the Soul of Prayer Prayer is a knocking at the Door of God's Grace and Mercy in Christ for all manner of Supplies you stand in need of Prayer is a Wrestling with God the Lord is willing to forgive ready to hear and help yet he delighteth to have his Strength tryed Gen. 32.24 25. The work of Prayer is not so much to lift up the Hands and Eyes and Voice as to lift up the Heart and Soul In Prayer is required extensiveness and intensiveness of Mind and Heart with Importunity which consisteth in a frequent renewing of our Suits to God notwithstanding all discouragements with a patient waiting for returns of Grace Prayer must be a Premeditated Work as to the Sins to be confessed the Wants expressed the Mercies acknowledged but especially to have right apprehensions of the Purity Majesty Immensity All-sufficiency Fidelity and Bounty of the Lord to whom you Pray with Faith in his Promises and Providences and his Almightiness to supply your Wants in the things of this Life and the Life to come Be much with God in Secret Prayer and let not the fire of the Spirit and Holy Zeal be wanting in any Duty which in the Hearts of God's People send out Holy Vapours of fragrant spiritual Desires and Requests to God Vials full of Odours which are the Prayers of the Saints Rev. 5.8 compared to sweet Incense Mal. 1.11 How near are the Saints thus exercised to Jesus Christ There is but a step as it were between them and Heaven What precious answers of Grace receive they oftentimes from the Oracle of God You will do well to observe the fittest Season for Secret Prayer though a Christian is to Pray at all times yet at sometimes more especially when we meet with any new Occurrence of Providence every fresh dispensation of Providence is a prompt to Prayer as when any Affliction befalls us Jam. 5.13 So when any fresh Mercy is received it is a fit season to go aside and to acknowledge God's Goodness and our own Vnworthiness 2 Sam. 7.18 When you find the Spirit of God moving upon your Soul exciting you to the Duty Cant. 2.10 your Hearts should answer again Thy Face Lord will I seek Psal 27.5 When you find your Heart in a settled and composed Frame then also is a fit season for secret Prayer When as David's your Heart is fixed not disturbed with any Secular Business The Morning also is a fit Season for Secret Prayer the Mind is most composed and troubled with fewest Diversions See her Practise Sect. 5. pag. 33. It were well to be with God as soon as you awake to offer up to him the first-Fruits of every Day this was with others David's manner Psal 5.3.139.3 The Evening also is a fit Season for Secret Prayer Psal 55.17 not only to begin but to conclude the Day with God Sleep not till you have begged his Pardon for your Sins committed and Praised him for the Mercies received that Day When you go about any Holy Duty set by all Worldly Occasions say to them as Abraham did to his Young-men Stay you here while I go aside and Worship God Gen. 22.5 Do not ordinarily go to Prayer when your Anger is stirred and your Mind full of Perturbation 1 Tim. 2.8 lest you offer up the Sacrifice of a Fool 1 Kings 19.11 12. and speak unadvisedly with your Lips Do not actually engage in Prayer when you are inclined to Sleep and Drowsiness you must be wakefull when you Pray if you would watch unto Prayer Also allot and set out a due Proportion of Time for the Duty of Prayer a slighty huddled Prayer is a blind Sacrifice carlessness in Prayer breedeth and feedeth Inconstancy and Instability in Prayer Slightiness in Prayer is an
unwritten Paper which remains may seem to imply she designed more This is just the fortyeth part of what she had written for her Childrens use being 6 Pages in her Book of Twelve score so that I have enough if I would enlarge to tire my self and satisfie not to say clog my Readers But I will consult my own ease and theirs in adding little more of what an account is given Sect. 12. under Eleven or Twelve distinct Heads I confess I am tempted to add the Example to the Rule I mean the large Form of Prayer and Thanksgiving each containing 16 Pages But I 'll forbear only as I toucht a few Lines of the beginning and end of the Thanksgiving before So I shall give a little taste of this Prayer which she begins thus Good Lord give me to know thee who passest all Knowledge and though I cannot comprehend thee in the perfection and fullness of thy Glory yet vouchsafe to give me to apprehend thee in thy Love and pardoning Mercy to me a poor miserable Sinner who in my first Being was invested with an happy and righteous Estate from which O Lord in my first Original I soon declined c. And so proceeds most humbly to acknowledge the guilt and pollution of Original Sin as I think yea know most Orthodoxly If our Bibles our Articles our Homilies yea our Liturgy be more Orthodox than Socinus and those Ephramites who lisp his Sibboleth because they cannot or will not pronounce aright the Shibboleth of the Church of England's good old Doctrine Then she proceeds to a large Confession of actual Sin both of Omission and Commission against both Tables Acknowledging the demerit of them proceeds to sue out the Pardon of them in these words O God thou knowest my foolishness and my Sins are not hid from thee I beseech thee pardon my Iniquities and blot out my Transgressions though they be as a thick Cloud Good Lord wash me from my Impurities in that Fountain set open for Sin and for Vncleanness the precious Blood of Jesus Christ which is not only able to expiate my guilt but to cleanse me from all my filthiness that through his stripes I may be healed and cleansed from all my Original and Actual Defilements c. Having enlarged upon this she proceeds to pay for Sanctification and Inherent Righteousness that she may be a new Creature in Christ Jesus then most fully and earnestly against Temptation then for the Assistance of the Spirit to render all God's Ordinances and the means of Grace effectual then for growth in Grace for Comfort for an Heavenly frame of Heart and Life for assurance and manifestation of God's Love to her then for Wisdom to consider her latter End and to be helped in that Spiritual Arithmetick so to number her Days as to apply her Heart to true Wisdom then that God would fit and prepare her for her Dissolution that when her days shall be consummated on Earth her Corruptible may put on Incorruption and her Mortal put on Immortality Then she concludes with these Words Then shall Death my last Enemy be vanquished and swallowed up in Victory and from thy unworthy Creature Everlasting Praises shall be rendred unto thee through Jesus Christ that giveth me the Victory for thou hast redeemed my Soul from the Power of the Grave I beseech thee receive me into thy Eternal Kingdom and Glory that neither Death nor Life things present nor things to come may be able to separate me from thy Love O God which is in Christ Jesus my Lord. Then she proceeds to Pray for the Church of which a taste was given in her Monday-morning Prayers Sect. 7. pag. 45. Gracious Lord the Mercies I ask of thee for my own Soul I earnestly beg of thee for thy Church and People Blessed Lord Thou hast made the Earth by thy Power established the World by thy Wisdom and stretched out the Heavens by thy Discretion thy Arm is not shortned that thou canst not Save Good Lord take care of Zion build up the Walls of Jerusalem that in Zion there may be Deliverance and Holiness in thy House let the Mountain of thy House be established in the top of the Mountains be thou a Wall of Fire round about and her Glory in the midst thereof But I forgot my self 't is hard to stop my Pen. Then I beseech thee especially for the Land of my Nativity the Nation of which I am a sinfull Member here is a large Paragraph The next is for the World Give thy Gospel a free and glorious Passage through the World Good Lord pity those that sit in the region and shaddow of Death Then I beseech thee be mercifull to all the Sons and Daughters of Sorrow and Affliction the Disconsolate the Sick those who contend with Poverty Imprisonment Reproach Disgrace Then for them who suffer Persecution for the Truth Then for her Relations I confess I am almost ashamed that I have thus mangled so excellent a Prayer so Piously so Judiciously in such suitable Scripture Phrase and Language I think it had been better to have transcribed the whole or let it quite alone but her Friends may command a Copy of it if they please Having finished her Intercessions for others she returns to conclude with renewed Petitions for herself which I will venture to set down Good Lord be the God and Portion of me thy unworthy Creature and of those so dear unto me give me a Relation to thee an Affiance in thee and a Dependance upon thee that in all my concerns I may come to thee in whom are all my fresh Springs the riches of free Grace to poor Sinners and treasuries of Mercies purchased with the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ I beseech thee with-hold not thy tender Mercies from me but give me of that hidden Manna the sweet refreshing Incomes of thy Holy Spirit into my Soul and when my Heart is overwhelmed I beseech thee lead me to the Rock that is higher than I for thou hast been a shelter to me Lord be thou a strong Tower to me to which I may continually resort for whom have I in Heaven but thee And if I know any thing of my own Heart there is none comparative on Earth that I desire besides thee thou art my God besides thee there is no Saviour I beseech thee guide me with thy Counsel and when I shall go hence and be no more in this World I beseech thee receive me into thy Glory Then follows the Thanksgiving full as large as the Form of Prayer and if it may be more Spiritual raised and Divinely Savoury but I will not repeat the Errour to mangle it and set down so Imperfect Pieces and spoil its Beauty but signifie to her Friends that I shall freely allow them to read the Original which is fairly legible or if they think it worth the while to Copy it out or at more leisure to Print some few Copies of it and others of her usefull
Sheep and his Lambs You have put your hand to God's Plough good Mr. Ph. let not the flattery or fear of Men make you warp from the streight Rule of God's Word You know the most and worst that they can doe and with the same resolution make the Apostles choice Acts 20.24 He that will put the evil day from him may soonest fall by the evil of the day and instead of finding may loose this and eternal Life The evil of Sin will produce much worse than present Sufferings If God call you forth as he did the Martyrs with their Flood to give testimony to the Truth even those Sufferings they esteemed light for the Hope set before them an Eternal Weight of Glory at the greatest length our Lives are not long in this Word Death spares none not the greatest Monarchs a great Man is fallen in our Israel our late Sovereign I have very valuable Thoughts of you you will not despise small things which gives me this Presumption I know you have greater Motives from God's Exiting Grace in you to quicken you to and assist you in your Master's Work than my narrow Scantling can afford happy they that so do they shall neither be ashamed nor affraid when their Reckoning-day comes of which happy number Lord grant you to be I am good Mr. Ph. Your Assured Well-wishing Friend Elizabeth Walker March 15. 84. I publish the following Letter because I intend to give the Book to my plain Parishoners most of whom stand upon the same Level with him to whom it was written Persons of higher Rank may pass it by or give it to their plain Country Tenants I thought to have given an account how one of her Sister's Daughters came to be in so low a Condition whose Father might have given every Child more than a Thousand Pound had he continued the Diligence which he used for several Years after his Marriage with her Sister and the fair Portion he had with her but as she was not ashamed of her Condition no more am I and as things were 't is well she had an Aunt to assist her to match with a sober industrious Man and their joint Stock enable them to manage a Farm of about Fifty Pounds a Year on which they hitherto have and I hope will continue to live comfortably and contentedly Cousin Robert Glassock YOU have not a Friend that more truly desires your Welfare than my self and shall be most affectionately glad of your well-being in this present World but I hope I should much more rejoyce in your certain and assured Interest in a better Life I desire you may obtain both of God who is the giver of all good I beseech you that you may to apply your self to that direct Rule and guidance of God's Word which counsels you to seek the Kingdom of God with his Righteousness in the first place and then you have the Promise of him that is both faithfull and able to perform his Word That the things of this life shall be added unto you as an additional to your future Happiness to which if you could gain the Wealth of the whole World 't would be but like picking up of Straws and Pebbles compared to that Blessed Estate for any thing in Exchange he will make a bad Bargain that ventures the loss of his Soul It was the saying of a good Man that gave a right Judgment That the whole Turkish Empire was but a Crust the Master of the House threw to the Dog How then shall not God the Lord of the whole Universe provide for them of his own Family that are Heirs of the Kingdom of Heaven I request you let it appear to whom you belong shew it by your Christian Profession in the whole Course of your Life to which your Baptism hath engaged you with the Inscription of God's Law which get writ with an indelible Character by the Finger of his Spirit upon your Heart by the use of God's Word you may acquaint your self in your Bible There God gave his Commandments in few and plain words that the meanest Capacity might understand and remember them A great part of the Bible is an Exposition of them You can read it is your Mercy improve that Talent to your Master's use You cannot doe his Will except you know it Therefore as God's Word directs you so observe to doe his Will that you may have regard unto all his Commandments in keeping of them there is great reward Therefore mind the Precepts and put them into practice heed the threatnings against whom and for what that they may deterr and affright you from the way of Sin that you may avoid the end of Punishment Take notice of the Promises and value them as they are worth make them yours by fervent and frequent Prayer and fulfilling the Conditions of them This I do earnestly request of you and the same of your Wife and that you will Pray together and a-part that you may be Heirs together of eternal Life Set up religious Worship in your little Family the smalness of your Family will not excuse the neglect God as he doth require it he will regard where there is but Two or Three he hath promised to be with them I beseech you do not deferr in any known Duty least disuse give you more difficulty to future performance Habitual Customs are most prevalent But to quicken you to this Duty consider for the default of it God's threatning Jeremiah 10. the last I pray you take that Counsel 1 Chron. 28.9 Not to be so bad as others is a step to a good Life But he that goes no farther will fall short of eternal Life I have so good thoughts of you your disposition is not to the Debaucheries and Vices of some but negative Righteousness is not enough With other religious Duties I have already mentioned I most earnestly press you to a strict Observation of the Lord's Day Sanctifie God's Seventh Day and he will Bless your Six Days Labour It will also be a good Hedge not onely to secure your eternal State but all that God may bless you with in this World See the two last Verses of the 58. Isa Read the whole Chapter it may be very profitable to excite you but I beseech you do not violate that Holy Rest by unnecessary Employments in worldly Affairs nor spend that Day in Idleness or Sleeping more than you would in the other Six Days Do not sacrilegiously rob God of his Worship in any part of his Day do not divert by vain talk but give every proportion of time the Duties it requires Be not like those that were weary of the Sabboth Amos 8.5 See likewise Malachi 1st and 3d. Mark the extent of the Fourth Commandment it doth not only require Masters of Families but reacheth all under their Charge their care is required as well for their Souls as their Bodies or else there is no difference made of them from their Cattle therefore you must
thy Soul and with all thy Strength the second is like the first Thou shalt love thy Neighbour as thy self On this brief Account Christ put so great a stress he said On these hang all the Law and the Prophets And St. James saith 28. If ye fulfill the Royal Law according to the Scriptures thou shalt love thy Neighbour as thy self which God requires not in Word only but in Deed also relieving their Necessities if any be naked or destitute of daily Food to feed and cloath them to say depart in Peace and give them not those things needfull to the Body it will not profit therefore with-hold not good from them to whom it is due if it be in the Power of thy Hand to doe it it is a more blessed thing to give than to receive He that gives to the Poor shall not lack but he that hideth his Eyes shall have many a Curse Do not say I have but little now to give but I will give hereafter remember the poor Woman's Mite was more in Christ's Esteem than those who had of their abundance cast into the Treasury Dear Johnny It may be something might be spared from unnecessary Expence buying Fruit or the like of which too much may be prejudicial to thy Health and may be laid out to a better account Do not give grudgingly by constraint lest it be as the Lame or Blind which was not to be brought to God like Cain's Sacrifice which he brought with an unwilling mind not acceptable to God Let the object stir up thy Compassion that thou mayst not give too sparingly God loves a chearfull giver Dear Johnny He that gives to the Poor lends to the Lord he that makes all Grace to abound will repay thee in temporal and spiritual Blessings good Measure shaken and pressed together and running over shall be given to thee God hath given many Promises to the Charitable to hint but a few The Lord will deliver him in time of Trouble and will not deliver him to the Will of his Enemies The Lord will preserve him and keep him alive and he shall be Blessed upon the Earth The Lord will strengthen him upon the Bed of Languishing he will make all his Bed in his Sickness Psal 41. For thy Encouragement read Isaiah 58. Yield Obedience to God's Command He hath said Deut. 7. If there be among you a poor Man thou shalt not harden thy Heart not shut thy Hand against thy poor Brother thou shalt shurely give unto him and thy Heart shall not be grieved when thou givest unto him but thou shalt open thy Hand wide unto thy poor and to thy needy for for this thing shall the Lord bless thee in all thou puttest thy Hand unto Dear Johnny Thou art also bound by an obligatory Promise to thy Grandfather and to me we have sometimes given thee Money for this Purpose to inure thee betimes to be Charitable that something of it thou mightest give unto the Poor as thou hast promised a Penny in every Shilling it is but a little do not withold that lest it become an accursed thing to thee like Achan's wedge of Gold at the Last Day the Day of Judgment This duty of Charity in right performance of it will be a distinguishing Character of those who shall stand at Christ's Right-hand from those who shall stand at his Left-hand whose Hands were as strait as their Hearts were hard they would have no Pity on the Poor therefore they shall find none But Christ will say unto them Depart ye Cursed into Everlasting Fire prepared for the Devil and his Angels with that Infernal Company But those at Christ's right-hand which fed the hungry cloathed the naked visited the sick and imprisoned which Christ will take as done unto himself he will reward with the Kingdom of Heaven Dear Johnny Make thee friends of the Mammon of this World that when this Life fails thou mayst be received into everlasting Habitations Dear Johnny As God may bless thee with the things of this World let not thy little at present be the measure of greater plenty He that sows sparingly shall reap spearingly but he that sows bountifully shall reap bountifully not only in this Life but in that to come There are degrees of Glory in Heaven the better here the happier hereafter though not of merit but of Grace God will pass by the Imperfections of his People which cleave to their best performance Dear Johnny With other religious Duties continue thy custom of private Prayer at least twice a day Morning and Evening besides publick and family Prayer Ejaculatory Prayer is also of great Benefit it is short but holy Desires lifting up thy heart to God Let them be thy last thoughts before sleep that God may give thee as his Beloved sleep the like as soon as thou wakest in the Morning before more solemn Prayer and with both render him Praise for the Mercy thou liest down in peace and risest in safety always under God's Protection These holy Desires may be oft sent to Heaven and bring thee Blessings the World cannot give and will defend thee from the Sin and Vanity of it keeping thy heart in a good frame they may be as the Angels ascending and descending upon Jacob's Ladder where God is above it ready to receive thee that thy return to secular Employment may be sanctified and blest that God may by thy holy wrestlings with him as he did Jacob bless thee in thy way to Canaan and New Jerusalem above And in thy more lengthened Prayer with thy own necessities and receipts from God remember the Church and People of God as need requires with Prayers and Praises Go to God with filial Fear and holy Reverence of Body and Mind God is in Heaven by his Greatness Superiority and Majesty thou on Earth in Weakness and Indigency Bring thy wants to his all-sufficient Fullness and immense Goodness ready able willing to supply all thy Necessities beg thee pardon of thy Sins and what thou needest for the sake merits and ever-prevaling Intercession of Jesus Christ Ask that thou mayst receive his holy Spirit as the Seal of his Love to thee With the imputed Righteousness of Christ reconciling thee to God Beg that thou mayst also have an inherent Righteousness from him renewing thee in the Spirit of thy Mind into his Image that thou mayst become one with him his Law being writ on thy Heart that he may guide thee by his Counsel in this troublesome World that no temptation may be above thy strength These things ask with thy daily Bread which implies the supply of all the necessities of humane Nature and be not desirous of more than God sees good for thee and for all the Receipts for Soul and Body be thankfull forget not to render Praises to God for what he bestows on thy self and others Forget not Zion pray for the peace of Jerusalem they shall prosper that love her Pray for the Conversion of Enemies that the