what_o great_a need_n i_o have_v and_o that_o it_o be_v of_o singular_a use_n to_o watch_v over_o my_o soul_n in_o all_o its_o way_n both_o in_o reference_n to_o sin_n that_o i_o fall_v not_o into_o it_o and_o when_o fall_v what_o the_o carriage_n and_o act_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v at_o such_o a_o time_n whether_o i_o flee_v for_o relief_n to_o god_n in_o christ_n or_o to_o my_o own_o work_n and_o in_o reference_n to_o my_o duty_n to_o take_v heed_n lest_o those_o mean_n which_o god_n have_v appoint_v to_o be_v the_o conveyance_n of_o himself_o his_o son_n and_o spirit_n and_o all_o spiritual_a blessing_n shall_v prove_v to_o i_o a_o mean_a of_o death_n and_o separation_n from_o god_n by_o my_o formal_a use_n of_o they_o and_o rest_v in_o they_o for_o as_o satan_n keep_v some_o alienate_v from_o god_n by_o the_o gross_a pollution_n of_o the_o world_n so_o other_o from_o christ_n by_o their_o establish_v a_o righteousness_n of_o their_o own_o o_o lord_n break_v thou_o this_o snare_n for_o i_o and_o let_v my_o soul_n escape_v as_o a_o bird_n from_o the_o net_n that_o i_o may_v flee_v to_o thou_o and_o be_v at_o rest_n i_o have_v observe_v in_o myself_o that_o when_o god_n at_o any_o time_n be_v please_v to_o work_v any_o thing_n in_o my_o soul_n i_o soon_o lose_v it_o if_o he_o quicken_v i_o i_o soon_o grow_v dead_a heart_a again_o if_o he_o enliven_v my_o affection_n they_o soon_o grow_v cold_a and_o flat_a and_o my_o old_a hardness_n return_v upon_o i_o hence_o i_o come_v to_o see_v that_o it_o be_v infinite_a wisdom_n and_o goodness_n in_o god_n that_o he_o have_v not_o put_v the_o stock_n of_o grace_n into_o our_o own_o hand_n but_o have_v treasure_v it_o up_o in_o christ_n that_o our_o life_n be_v now_o hide_v with_o christ_n in_o god_n for_o so_o it_o become_v sure_a rom._n 4._o 16._o hereby_o also_o i_o come_v to_o see_v that_o i_o have_v need_n of_o continual_a recourse_n to_o jesus_n christ_n for_o new_a supply_n of_o grace_n and_o strength_n the_o lord_n god_n in_o his_o wisdom_n be_v please_v when_o he_o deliver_v his_o people_n out_o of_o egypt_n before_o he_o bring_v they_o to_o canaan_n to_o lead_v they_o 40_o year_n in_o the_o wilderness_n when_o as_o he_o can_v have_v lead_v they_o a_o near_a way_n to_o canaan_n exod._n 13._o 17._o he_o choose_v rather_o to_o lead_v they_o through_o the_o great_a and_o terrible_a wilderness_n jer._n 2._o 6._o where_o be_v fiery_a serpent_n and_o scorpion_n and_o drought_n where_o there_o be_v no_o water_n where_o he_o bring_v they_o forth_o water_v out_o of_o the_o rock_n of_o flint_n and_o feed_v they_o with_o manna_n for_o this_o end_n that_o he_o may_v humble_v they_o prove_v they_o and_o do_v they_o good_a in_o the_o latter_a end_n deut._n 8._o 15_o 16._o do_v thou_o find_v it_o so_o o_o my_o soul_n in_o thy_o travail_n towards_o the_o heavenly_a canaan_n do_v thou_o walk_v through_o much_o spiritual_a drought_n a_o land_n of_o desert_n and_o of_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n do_v meet_v with_o a_o flinty_a heart_n and_o fiery_a temptation_n know_v that_o the_o lord_n do_v this_o to_o humble_v thou_o which_o through_o his_o grace_n thou_o have_v sometime_o find_v and_o to_o prove_v thou_o i._n e_o to_o discover_v thou_o to_o thyself_o for_o he_o himself_o know_v thy_o thought_n afar_o off_o and_o this_o way_n of_o god_n through_o grace_n have_v be_v a_o mean_n of_o discover_v much_o of_o thy_o corrupt_a heart_n to_o thou_o and_o that_o he_o may_v do_v thou_o good_a in_o the_o latter_a end_n therefore_o take_v heed_n o_o my_o soul_n of_o israel_n sin_n of_o murmur_v against_o god_n under_o thy_o want_n of_o unbeleif_n and_o tempt_a god_n etc._n etc._n read_v oft_o and_o weight_n well_o the_o 78th_o psalm_n may_v 6._o be_v sabbath_n day_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v in_o the_o hear_n of_o his_o word_n to_o convince_v i_o of_o my_o sin_n and_o lose_v condition_n but_o lord_n how_o unfaithful_a be_v i_o then_o and_o have_v i_o be_v since_o to_o the_o conviction_n of_o thy_o spirit_n how_o soon_o have_v i_o heal_v up_o the_o wound_n that_o be_v give_v by_o the_o word_n how_o soon_o have_v a_o hard_a heart_n a_o secure_a careless_a spirit_n take_v possession_n of_o i_o lord_n if_o ever_o thy_o word_n be_v effectual_a in_o i_o thou_o must_v not_o only_o speak_v it_o to_o my_o heart_n but_o write_v and_o engraff_n it_o there_o also_o henceforth_o i_o desire_v to_o wait_v on_o thou_o as_o for_o the_o teach_n of_o thy_o spirit_n so_o for_o the_o write_n of_o thy_o law_n in_o my_o heart_n by_o thy_o spirit_n i_o find_v a_o lothness_n in_o my_o spirit_n to_o go_v to_o here_o this_o sermon_n whereby_o i_o perceive_v satan_n will_v have_v hinder_v i_o be_v encourage_v hence_o o_o my_o soul_n to_o break_v through_o all_o difficulty_n thou_o meet_v with_o in_o do_v thy_o duty_n when_o thou_o find_v any_o secret_a unwillingness_n to_o ordinance_n or_o duty_n then_o stir_v up_o thyself_o to_o wait_v upon_o god_n expect_v that_o he_o have_v some_o special_a mercy_n for_o thou_o which_o satan_n will_v hinder_v thou_o off_o jun._n 1._o this_o day_n the_o lord_n do_v in_o the_o hear_n of_o his_o word_n revive_v some_o conviction_n which_o have_v former_o be_v upon_o my_o spirit_n though_o in_o a_o very_a languid_a manner_n i_o stand_v convince_v before_o the_o lord_n of_o unbelief_n and_o that_o i_o be_v a_o lose_a creature_n because_o thereof_o from_o the_o word_n of_o our_o saviour_n joh._n 3._o 18._o he_o that_o believe_v not_o be_v condemn_v already_o conscience_n tell_v i_o that_o i_o be_o yet_o in_o unbelief_n that_o i_o want_v that_o faith_n which_o be_v accompany_v with_o the_o new_a birth_n joh._n 1._o 12_o 13._o that_o faith_n which_o shall_v purge_v i_o from_o atheism_n formality_n and_o rest_v in_o duty_n from_o hypocrisy_n and_o deadness_n from_o unclean_a affection_n and_o inordinate_a love_n of_o the_o world_n from_o a_o vain_a mind_n and_o a_o light_a spirit_n that_o faith_n which_o shall_v purify_v my_o heart_n from_o these_o and_o the_o like_a evil_n act._n 15._o 9_o that_o faith_n which_o shall_v make_v christ_n a_o great_a reality_n and_o more_o precious_a to_o i_o than_o any_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n 1_o pet._n 2._o 7._o that_o faith_n which_o bring_v peace_n with_o god_n and_o joy_n in_o the_o holy_a ghost_n unspeakable_a and_o full_a of_o glory_n rom._n 5._o 1._o 1_o pet._n 1._o 8._o i_o find_v i_o have_v have_v a_o dead_a faith_n jam._n 2._o 17_o 20._o and_o presume_v upon_o god_n mercy_n in_o christ_n although_o i_o have_v be_v estrange_v from_o god_n in_o my_o heart_n and_o nature_n my_o rest_a in_o duty_n and_o trust_v in_o my_o own_o righteousness_n as_o far_o as_o i_o can_v see_v have_v be_v the_o deceit_n of_o my_o heart_n lord_n lay_v this_o conviction_n upon_o my_o conscience_n for_o i_o find_v my_o heart_n will_v put_v it_o off_o yea_o it_o have_v already_o desperate_o harden_v itself_o against_o thou_o i_o fear_v i_o shall_v outgrow_a this_o conviction_n of_o thy_o word_n as_o at_o other_o time_n i_o feel_v a_o careless_a spirit_n that_o will_v make_v light_n of_o eternity_n and_o of_o jesus_n christ_n lord_n break_v my_o heart_n under_o thy_o word_n for_o my_o unbelief_n and_o neglect_v of_o christ_n let_v i_o not_o heal_v myself_o but_o wait_v till_o thou_o shall_v heal_v i_o thou_o do_v help_v the_o unbelief_n of_o thy_o servant_n thomas_n oh_o that_o thou_o will_v help_v i_o also_o the_o lord_n have_v show_v i_o that_o i_o be_o dead_a in_o sin_n not_o only_o from_o the_o testimony_n of_o his_o word_n eph._n 2._o 1._o col._n 2._o 13._o but_o by_o inward_a experience_n for_o i_o feel_v myself_o alienate_v from_o the_o life_n of_o god_n cut_v off_o from_o communion_n with_o the_o lord_n jesus_n separate_v from_o god_n and_o his_o bless_a spirit_n my_o deceitful_a heart_n have_v often_o go_v about_o to_o repel_v this_o conviction_n and_o have_v cause_v i_o sometime_o to_o mistake_v a_o life_n of_o morality_n for_o spiritual_a life_n and_o at_o other_o time_n a_o life_n of_o formality_n but_o now_o i_o find_v the_o scripture_n speak_v of_o dead_a work_n and_o call_v for_o repentance_n from_o they_o heb._n 6._o 1._o and_o purge_v our_o conscience_n from_o they_o heb._n 9_o 14._o by_o dead_a work_n i_o understand_v not_o only_o the_o gross_a pollution_n of_o the_o world_n but_o all_o work_n whatever_o that_o be_v do_v by_o a_o man_n void_a of_o the_o quicken_a spirit_n of_o god_n without_o union_n to_o christ_n there_o be_v no_o spiritual_a life_n for_o as_o the_o natural_a life_n result_v from_o the_o union_n of_o the_o soul_n with_o the_o body_n and_o the_o state_n of_o death_n be_v nothing_o but_o the_o
disunion_n and_o separation_n of_o the_o soul_n from_o the_o body_n so_o our_o spiritual_a life_n result_v from_o the_o soul_n union_n with_o christ_n and_o spiritual_a death_n be_v our_o separation_n from_o he_o now_o i_o feel_v myself_o as_o a_o poor_a wither_a branch_n cut_v off_o from_o this_o vine_n unacquainted_a with_o the_o act_n of_o this_o spiritual_a life_n as_o live_v by_o faith_n serve_v god_n in_o spirit_n mortify_v sin_n by_o the_o spirit_n walk_v in_o the_o spirit_n love_v god_n above_o all_o thing_n and_o seek_v his_o glory_n in_o all_o thing_n i_o have_v sometime_o pray_v against_o sin_n resolve_v against_o it_o strive_v with_o it_o avoid_v occasion_n thereto_o all_o which_o a_o natural_a man_n may_v do_v but_o sin_n have_v return_v upon_o i_o and_o overcome_v i_o how_o to_o fetch_v power_n from_o christ_n death_n to_o mortify_v sin_n how_o to_o believe_v in_o god_n for_o subdue_a it_o how_o to_o do_v it_o by_o the_o spirit_n these_o have_v be_v mystery_n to_o i_o lord_n when_o shall_v the_o day_n dawn_n and_o the_o daystar_n arise_v in_o my_o heart_n when_o shall_v the_o dayspring_n from_o on_o high_a visit_v my_o soul_n to_o give_v light_n to_o he_o that_o sit_v in_o darkness_n and_o in_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n come_v lord_n jesus_n thou_o light_v of_o life_n come_v quick_o that_o which_o keep_v i_o a_o long_a time_n from_o resolve_v to_o give_v up_o my_o whole_a heart_n to_o god_n in_o covenant_n be_v a_o fear_n that_o i_o shall_v break_v my_o covenant_n and_o so_o double_a my_o sin_n but_o i_o perceive_v since_o that_o this_o be_v but_o satan_n policy_n to_o keep_v my_o heart_n from_o god_n and_o the_o true_a ground_n of_o my_o not_o do_v this_o be_v not_o conscienciousness_n of_o sin_n as_o satan_n once_o make_v i_o believe_v but_o a_o loathness_n to_o part_v with_o all_o sin_n and_o to_o serve_v god_n with_o all_o my_o heart_n a_o strong_a encouragement_n thou_o have_v o_o my_o soul_n to_o enter_v covenant_n with_o god_n to_o serve_v he_o with_o thy_o whole_a heart_n from_o that_o portion_n of_o his_o word_n which_o thou_o do_v read_v this_o morning_n may._n 11._o 1654._o in_o jer._n 30._o 21_o 22._o who_o be_v this_o that_o engage_v his_o heart_n to_o approach_v unto_o i_o say_v the_o lord_n you_o shall_v be_v my_o people_n and_o i_o will_v be_v your_o god_n since_o my_o covenant_v with_o god_n i_o come_v to_o see_v more_o full_o the_o truth_n of_o that_o place_n rom._n 8._o 7._o the_o carnal_a mind_n be_v enmity_n against_o god_n be_v not_o subject_a to_o the_o law_n of_o god_n neither_o indeed_o can_v be_v for_o i_o find_v a_o loathness_n to_o walk_v close_o with_o god_n yea_o under_o a_o profession_n of_o religion_n my_o carnal_a heart_n have_v be_v at_o enmity_n to_o the_o power_n and_o life_n of_o it_o and_o this_o enmity_n have_v lyen_fw-we hide_v under_o and_o be_v cover_v with_o a_o performance_n of_o some_o duty_n which_o have_v not_o be_v destructive_a to_o that_o evil_a principle_n that_o have_v live_v in_o i_o yea_o i_o find_v my_o carnal_a heart_n be_v hunger_a after_o the_o fleshpot_n of_o egypt_n after_o its_o old_a delight_n and_o sinful_a pleasure_n be_v ready_a to_o murmur_v against_o god_n in_o the_o wilderness_n and_o speak_v of_o return_v into_o egypt_n and_o be_v impatient_a of_o the_o cross_n it_o revolt_v from_o god_n many_o a_o time_n and_o seek_v relief_n and_o contentment_n from_o the_o creature_n since_o my_o covenant_v with_o god_n i_o see_v more_o of_o thou_o treachery_n and_o hypocrisy_n of_o my_o heart_n i_o find_v my_o soul_n for_o a_o while_n more_o tender_a of_o sin_n and_o my_o heart_n seem_o engage_v to_o serve_v the_o lord_n but_o i_o soon_o forget_v the_o covenant_n that_o i_o have_v make_v and_o in_o a_o short_a space_n i_o do_v not_o find_v that_o my_o covenant_n have_v any_o influence_n on_o my_o heart_n or_o life_n so_o that_o i_o see_v i_o do_v but_o flatter_v the_o lord_n with_o my_o mouth_n and_o lie_v unto_o he_o with_o my_o tongue_n for_o my_o heart_n be_v not_o right_a with_o he_o neither_o be_v i_o steadfast_a in_o his_o covenant_n ps_n 78._o 36_o 37._o my_o unstedfastness_n in_o my_o covenant_n with_o the_o lord_n do_v arise_v as_o far_o as_o i_o perceive_v from_o these_o two_o ground_n 1._o my_o heart_n be_v not_o right_a with_o god_n when_o i_o make_v it_o there_o be_v not_o that_o inward_a cordial_a full_a resolution_n to_o part_v with_o all_o sin_n and_o that_o for_o ever_o from_o a_o antipathy_n to_o it_o and_o dislike_v of_o it_o neither_o that_o inward_a resolution_n of_o cleave_v to_o god_n to_o have_v he_o my_o all_o in_o all_o to_o take_v all_o my_o contentment_n and_o joy_n in_o he_o and_o to_o seek_v it_o in_o nothing_o else_o which_o shall_v have_v be_v 2._o i_o neglect_v my_o watch_n and_o do_v not_o as_o i_o shall_v renew_v my_o covenant_n often_o and_o engage_v my_o heart_n to_o walk_v with_o god_n and_o while_o i_o be_v slothful_a and_o negligent_a my_o heart_n be_v steal_v away_o by_o the_o devil_n and_o the_o world_n and_o be_v now_o in_o league_n again_o with_o sin_n lord_n make_v i_o upright_o and_o clear_v up_o to_o i_o my_o sincerity_n search_v i_o and_o try_v i_o and_o let_v i_o know_v the_o bottom_n of_o my_o heart_n keep_v i_o upon_o my_o watch_n and_o guard_n that_o i_o may_v keep_v my_o covenant_n jul._n 23._o the_o lord_n do_v awaken_v my_o conscience_n to_o such_o a_o sense_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o lose_v estate_n in_o the_o read_n and_o hear_v of_o his_o word_n that_o when_o i_o go_v to_o prayer_n i_o be_v before_o he_o as_o a_o lose_a creature_n be_v under_o wrath_n and_o the_o sentence_n of_o death_n lie_v in_o my_o blood_n and_o pollution_n now_o whereas_o before_o i_o find_v my_o heart_n carry_v out_o in_o beg_a sanctification_n i_o do_v now_o cry_v to_o god_n for_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n to_o wash_v away_o the_o guilt_n of_o my_o sin_n i_o do_v not_o before_o prize_v justify_v grace_n so_o as_o now_o in_o some_o weak_a measure_n i_o be_v make_v to_o do_v but_o i_o soon_o find_v a_o accurse_a hard_a heart_n in_o a_o little_a time_n i_o do_v not_o tremble_v at_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n i_o have_v labour_v to_o work_v these_o conviction_n upon_o my_o heart_n but_o i_o find_v such_o a_o rove_a heart_n such_o a_o slighty_a heart_n so_o possess_v with_o vanity_n that_o nothing_o will_v abide_v with_o it_o lord_n unless_o thou_o save_v i_o for_o thy_o mercy_n sake_n i_o perish_v aug._n 6._o be_v sabbath_n day_n in_o meditation_n on_o 1_o joh._n 3._o 23._o this_o be_v his_o commandment_n that_o we_o shall_v believe_v on_o the_o name_n of_o his_o son_n jesus_n christ_n consider_v with_o myself_o what_o this_o do_v imply_v viz._n not_o only_o a_o rely_v upon_o god_n in_o christ_n for_o the_o remission_n of_o sin_n but_o for_o the_o pour_v out_o of_o the_o spirit_n joh._n 7._o 38_o 39_o which_o spirit_n when_o it_o be_v give_v will_v shed_v abroad_o the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o our_o heart_n rom._n 5._o 5._o and_o seal_v up_o the_o assurance_n of_o the_o remission_n of_o our_o sin_n and_o witness_v our_o addoption_n rom._n 8_o 16._o will_v mortify_v sin_n in_o we_o v_o 13._o and_o work_v all_o the_o work_n of_o god_n in_o we_o and_o for_o we_o all_o which_o i_o want_v and_o to_o which_o i_o haven_n be_v a_o long_a time_n convince_v that_o i_o be_o unable_a and_o consider_v further_o that_o this_o spirit_n be_v the_o free_a gift_n of_o god_n ps_n 51._o 12._o give_v not_o according_a to_o our_o work_n but_o of_o free_a mercy_n for_o the_o sake_n of_o christ_n tit._n 3._o 4._o 5_o 6._o and_o consider_v further_o that_o jesus_n christ_n have_v receive_v gift_n of_o which_o the_o gift_n of_o the_o spirit_n be_v intend_v even_o for_o the_o rebellious_a that_o god_n may_v dwell_v among_o they_o ps_n 68_o 18._o i_o find_v my_o heart_n encourage_v to_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n for_o the_o pour_v forth_o of_o his_o spirit_n upon_o i_o that_o i_o may_v have_v my_o heart_n renew_v and_o sanctify_a and_o the_o remission_n of_o my_o sin_n seal_v up_o to_o my_o soul_n afterward_o consider_v further_o that_o the_o way_n whereby_o a_o poor_a soul_n that_o have_v lose_v god_n image_n come_v to_o be_v renew_v in_o heart_n and_o mind_n and_o make_v partaker_n of_o the_o divine_a nature_n be_v by_o faith_n in_o the_o promise_n 2_o pet._n 1._o 4._o and_o observe_v how_o isaac_n who_o inherit_v the_o blessing_n be_v not_o bear_v by_o the_o strength_n of_o nature_n but_o by_o promise_n and_o as_o isaac_n be_v bear_v through_o the_o promise_n so_o be_v all_o believer_n gal._n 4._o 28._o not_o of_o the_o will_n of_o man_n
of_o the_o lord_n supper_n i_o find_v god_n gracious_a to_o i_o in_o preparation_n in_o the_o morning_n when_o i_o awake_v god_n bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n jer._n 2._o 32._o can_v a_o maid_n forget_v her_o ornament_n or_o a_o bride_n her_o attire_n i_o consider_v i_o be_v to_o meet_v and_o sup_v with_o my_o bridegroom_n the_o lord_n jesus_n and_o then_o consider_v what_o ornament_n and_o attire_n will_v best_o please_v he_o that_o i_o may_v put_v they_o on_o and_o these_o be_v present_v to_o my_o thought_n some_o as_o i_o lie_v in_o bed_n and_o some_o afterward_o as_o lovely_a and_o desirable_a in_o the_o sight_n of_o christ_n which_o i_o determine_v to_o put_v on_o 1_o sy_n a_o meek_a and_o quiet_a spirit_n 1_o pet._n 3._o 4._o 2_o lie_n faith_n cant._n 4._o 9_o thou_o hash_fw-mi ravish_v my_o heart_n my_o sister_n my_o spouse_n with_o one_o of_o thy_o eye_n faith_n have_v the_o office_n of_o a_o eye_n in_o the_o soul_n joh._n 6._o 40._o every_o one_o that_o see_v and_o believe_v look_v unto_o jesus_n heb_n 12._o 2._o 3_o lie_v love_n cant._n 4._o 10._o how_o fair_a be_v thy_o love_n my_o sister_n etc._n etc._n 4_o lie_v humility_n math._n 11._o 29._o learn_v of_o i_o for_o i_o be_o lowly_a in_o heart_n 5_o lie_v self-denial_n and_o forsake_v of_o every_o thing_n that_o come_v in_o competition_n with_o christ_n ps_n 45_o 10_o 11._o harken_v o_o daughter_n and_o consider_v forget_v thy_o own_o people_n and_o thy_o father_n house_n so_o shall_v the_o king_n great_o desire_v thy_o beauty_n 6_o lie_v a_o obediential_a frame_n of_o heart_n math._n 10._o 20_o 21._o all_o these_o have_v i_o observe_v from_o my_o youth_n jesus_n behold_v he_o love_v he_o 7_o lie_v a_o heart_n resolve_v to_o hold_v and_o maintain_v frequent_a converse_n and_o communion_n with_o he_o cant._n 2._o 14_o let_v i_o see_v thy_o countenance_n let_v i_o hear_v thy_o voice_n for_o sweet_a be_v thy_o voice_n and_o thy_o countenance_n be_v comely_a 8_o lie_v uprightness_n prov._n 11._o 20._o 9_o lie_n a_o holy_a fear_n of_o god_n and_o hope_n in_o his_o mercy_n ps_n 147._o 11._o 10_o lie_n fruitfulness_n cant._n 4._o 16_o 5._o 1._o but_o though_o god_n gracious_o assist_v i_o in_o preparation_n yet_o in_o the_o time_n of_o receive_v my_o heart_n be_v flat_a and_o dead_a as_o soon_o as_o the_o sacrament_n be_v end_v i_o retire_v to_o my_o chamber_n to_o to_o pray_v and_o as_o i_o be_v pray_v that_o scripture_n be_v bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n rom._n 3._o 3_o 4._o shall_v their_o unbelief_n make_v the_o faith_n of_o god_n of_o none_o effect_v god_n forbid_v i_o argue_v thence_o that_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o holy_a thing_n my_o deadness_n and_o want_n of_o holy_a and_o due_a affection_n in_o time_n of_o receive_v shall_v not_o make_v void_a what_o god_n have_v promise_v in_o and_o by_o this_o ordinance_n but_o that_o the_o cup_n be_v to_o i_o the_o communion_n of_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n and_o the_o new_a testament_n in_o his_o blood_n and_o the_o breed_v the_o communion_n of_o the_o body_n of_o christ_n this_o do_v strengthen_v my_o faith_n to_o depend_v upon_o god_n for_o the_o benefit_n signify_v and_o seal_v by_o that_o ordinance_n notwithstanding_o the_o indisposition_n of_o my_o heart_n in_o the_o time_n of_o receive_v sept._n 29._o as_o i_o be_v muse_v on_o that_o rich_a promise_n make_v to_o abraham_n gen._n 15._o 1._o fear_v not_o abraham_n i_o be_o thy_o shield_n and_o thy_o exceed_a great_a reward_n which_o be_v sufficient_a to_o bear_v up_o the_o soul_n under_o the_o fear_n and_o danger_n of_o any_o evil_n and_o against_o the_o loss_n and_o want_n of_o any_o good_a thing_n i_o consider_v what_o warrant_n i_o have_v to_o apply_v that_o promise_n and_o present_o that_o scripture_n be_v hint_v to_o i_o gal._n 3._o 9_o they_o which_o be_v of_o faith_n be_v bless_v with_o faithful_a abraham_n i_o be_v strengthen_v and_o comfort_v by_o it_o twice_o in_o this_o weak_a i_o observe_v that_o set_v upon_o worldly_a business_n which_o call_v hasty_o upon_o i_o before_o i_o have_v be_v at_o closet_n prayer_n and_o perform_v my_o usual_a meditation_n on_o the_o covenant_n and_o promise_n of_o god_n my_o heart_n grow_v out_o of_o frame_n and_o unsavoury_a and_o i_o be_v successless_a on_o both_o day_n oct._n 1._o sabbath_n day_n at_o my_o entrance_n on_o my_o morning_n meditation_n on_o god_n covenant_n i_o have_v a_o great_a combat_n in_o my_o spirit_n about_o my_o lay_v claim_n to_o god_n as_o my_o god_n have_v be_v late_o foil_v by_o my_o sin_n but_o god_n help_v i_o and_o show_v i_o out_o of_o his_o word_n that_o i_o may_v and_o ought_v to_o keep_v my_o hold_n of_o god_n as_o my_o god_n notwithstanding_o my_o often_o backslide_n from_o he_o jer._n 3._o 1_o 5_o 7_o 8._o yet_o v._n 19_o say_v god_n thou_o shall_v call_v i_o my_o father_n hos_n 2._o 5._o with_o 16._o the_o same_o evening_n consider_v how_o often_o and_o great_o i_o have_v sin_v and_o yet_o have_v be_v forgive_v i_o ponder_v on_o that_o scripture_n luke_n 7_o 47._o and_o see_v that_o i_o have_v cause_n to_o love_v the_o lord_n much_o because_o i_o have_v much_o forgive_v and_o consider_v how_o i_o shall_v show_v my_o love_n to_o god_n and_o that_o much_o these_o scripture_n be_v hint_v to_o i_o ps_n 40._o 16._o let_v such_o as_o love_v thy_o name_n say_v continual_o let_v the_o lord_n be_v magnify_v ps_n 97._o 10._o you_o that_o love_v the_o lord_n hate_v evil_a joh._n 14._o 10._o if_o you_o love_v i_o keep_v my_o commandment_n joh._n 21._o 15._o simon_n love_v thou_o i_o feed_v my_o sheep_n feed_v my_o lamb_n lord_n help_v i_o thus_o to_o show_v much_o love_n to_o thou_o oct._n 8._o have_v be_v overtake_v with_o the_o sin_n which_o easy_o beset_v i_o and_o have_v often_o foil_v i_o my_o spirit_n fall_v and_o my_o faith_n flag_v and_o i_o can_v not_o look_v upon_o god_n with_o any_o boldness_n be_v indispose_v to_o prayer_n yet_o in_o time_n of_o prayer_n god_n magnify_v his_o free_a grace_n to_o i_o and_o revive_v my_o soul_n with_o that_o word_n 1_o joh._n 2._o 1_o 2._o if_o any_o man_n sin_n we_o have_v a_o advocate_n etc._n etc._n after_o i_o have_v end_v my_o supplication_n i_o ponder_v on_o that_o scripture_n and_o be_v comfort_v against_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o sin_n by_o the_o advocateship_n of_o jesus_n christ_n who_o plead_v his_o propitiatory_a sacrifice_n as_o a_o satisfaction_n to_o his_o father_n justice_n for_o the_o sin_n of_o believer_n as_o oft_o as_o they_o fall_v into_o they_o and_o query_v with_o myself_o whether_o he_o will_v be_v a_o advocate_n to_o i_o to_o plead_v for_o i_o i_o be_v satisfy_v from_o that_o word_n joh._n 6._o 37._o he_o that_o come_v to_o i_o i_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v out_o i_o be_v also_o further_o encourage_v from_o heb._n 7._o 25._o i_o consider_v that_o the_o intercession_n of_o christ_n answer_v all_o charge_n and_o accusation_n that_o can_v be_v bring_v against_o those_o for_o who_o he_o intercede_v rom._n 8._o 33._o 34._o and_o that_o the_o intercession_n of_o christ_n keep_v we_o â—o_o firm_o in_o the_o love_n of_o god_n that_o nothing_o can_v be_v able_a to_o separate_v we_o from_o it_o rom._n 8._o 34._o 35_o 38_o 39_o i_o consider_v further_a that_o the_o person_n for_o who_o he_o intercede_v be_v such_o as_o come_v to_o god_n by_o he_o and_o that_o he_o intercede_v for_o they_o at_o all_o time_n when_o they_o be_v fall_v as_o well_o as_o when_o they_o stand_v when_o they_o be_v dead_a as_o well_o as_o when_o in_o a_o lively_a frame_n for_o he_o ever_o live_v to_o make_v intercession_n after_o these_o meditation_n my_o spirit_n revive_v and_o notwithstanding_o i_o be_v before_o bow_v down_o under_o the_o sense_n of_o guilt_n i_o go_v with_o boldness_n to_o god_n lean_v upon_o the_o merit_n and_o intercession_n of_o jesus_n christ_n oct._n 13._o my_o spirit_n be_v bow_v down_o with_o the_o sense_n of_o guilt_n because_o i_o be_v foil_v by_o a_o sin_n against_o which_o i_o have_v pray_v many_o year_n i_o be_v revive_v in_o read_v in_o my_o course_n 2_o cor._n 12._o 7_o 8_o 9_o whence_o i_o observe_v 1_o st_z god_n see_v it_o needful_a for_o some_o of_o his_o servant_n to_o meet_v with_o buffet_n 2_o lie_n when_o god_n le_fw-fr we_o loose_v any_o corruption_n a_o thorn_n in_o the_o flesh_n or_o a_o temptation_n a_o messenger_n of_o satan_n to_o buffet_v we_o it_o be_v to_o keep_v we_o humble_a and_o from_o be_v exalt_v 3_o lie_n god_n suffer_v his_o faithful_a servant_n sometime_o to_o pray_v long_o against_o corruption_n or_o temptation_n and_o yet_o can_v get_v it_o remove_v 4_o lie_n though_o my_o strength_n be_v not_o
providence_n i_o set_v apart_o a_o day_n to_o humble_v my_o soul_n with_o fast_v and_o prayer_n that_o i_o may_v obtain_v from_o god_n a_o sanctify_a use_n of_o my_o affliction_n i_o seek_v god_n to_o pardon_v my_o sin_n which_o be_v the_o cause_n thereof_o and_o to_o make_v they_o work_v for_o my_o good_a i_o spend_v a_o good_a part_n of_o the_o day_n in_o meditate_v how_o i_o shall_v make_v a_o right_a improvement_n of_o these_o correction_n i_o considere_v that_o one_o main_a end_n of_o all_o chastisement_n be_v that_o god_n may_v make_v we_o partaker_n of_o his_o holiness_n heb._n 12_o 10._o isa_n 26._o 9_o i_o resolve_v in_o the_o strength_n and_o by_o the_o help_n of_o god_n to_o follow_v after_o holiness_n more_o vigorous_o than_o i_o have_v do_v and_o i_o engage_v in_o this_o resolution_n because_o i_o see_v from_o isa_n 60._o 21._o that_o by_o my_o be_v holy_a and_o righteous_a god_n shall_v be_v glorify_v and_o see_v the_o nature_n of_o holiness_n lie_v in_o our_o bear_a god_n image_n in_o our_o be_v like_a to_o god_n or_o in_o our_o conformity_n to_o the_o divine_a nature_n eph._n 4._o 24._o col._n 3._o 10._o i_o resolve_v to_o endeavour_v to_o imitate_v and_o resemble_v god_n in_o mercifulness_n luk._n 6._o 36._o in_o forgive_a injury_n eph._n 4._o ult_n in_o do_v good_a ps_n 119._o 68_o in_o justice_n deut._n 32._o 4._o in_o love_n joh._n 4._o 16._o in_o humility_n ps_n 113._o 5_o 6._o in_o longfuffering_n exod._n 34._o 6._o in_o not_o retain_v anger_n ps_n 30._o 5._o in_o uprightness_n isa_n 26._o 7._o in_o kindness_n luk._n 6._o 35._o in_o help_v the_o fatherless_a widow_n and_o stranger_n ps_n 10._o 14._o 146._o 9_o and_o whereas_o we_o come_v to_o partake_v of_o god_n image_n 1._o by_o behold_v the_o discovery_n which_o he_o have_v make_v of_o himself_o and_o his_o glorious_a attribute_n in_o the_o gospel_n 2_o cor._n 3._o 18._o 2_o by_o apply_v the_o promise_n 2_o pet._n 1._o 4._o 3._o by_o walk_v with_o he_o act._n 4._o 13._o for_o we_o grow_v like_o those_o with_o who_o we_o converse_v prov._n 22._o 24._o 25._o i_o determine_v to_o walk_v with_o god_n to_o cleave_v to_o the_o promise_n and_o to_o meditate_v often_o on_o his_o glorious_a attribute_n and_o see_v that_o our_o holiness_n lie_v in_o the_o conformity_n of_o our_o life_n to_o the_o will_n of_o god_n reveal_v in_o his_o word_n as_o well_o as_o in_o the_o resemblance_n of_o the_o divine_a nature_n i_o determine_v to_o set_v before_o i_o several_a scripture_n as_o my_o rule_n to_o walk_v by_o and_o often_o to_o ponder_v they_o and_o if_o i_o can_v walk_v up_o to_o these_o rule_n yet_o my_o endeavour_n shall_v be_v grace_n assist_v to_o walk_v after_o they_o and_o that_o will_v be_v accept_v as_o a_o demonstration_n of_o my_o love_n to_o god_n 2_o joh._n v_o 6._o for_o guide_v and_o regulate_v my_o thought_n i_o set_v these_o scripture_n before_o i_o jer._n 14._o 14._o isa_n 55._o 7._o mal._n 3._o 17._o ps_n 104._o 34._o phil._n 4._o 8._o prov._n 23._o 26._o deut._n 15._o 9_o eccl._n 10._o 20._o prov._n 24._o 9_o math._n 9_o 4._o zech._n 8._o 17._o for_o regulate_v my_o affection_n these_o col._n 3._o 2_o 5._o gal._n 5._o 24._o particular_o for_o my_o delight_n ps_n 1._o 2._o 37._o 5._o my_o joy_n phil._n 4._o 4._o ps_n 43._o 4._o my_o desire_n isa_n 26._o 8_o 9_o my_o sorrow_n ezek._n 7._o 16._o my_o love_n math._n 22._o 37._o ps_n 119._o 97._o my_o hatred_n ps_n 97._o 10._o my_o fear_n luk._n 12._o 4_o 5._o my_o hope_n ps_n 39_o 7._o my_o trust_n ps_n 62._o 8._o isa_n 26._o 4._o for_o regulate_v my_o speech_n these_o eph._n 4._o 29._o col._n 4._o 6._o deut._n 6._o 6_o 7._o ps_n 119._o 46._o ps_n 71._o 8._o 24._o prov._n 31._o 26._o we_o shall_v lay_v it_o as_o a_o law_n upon_o ourselves_o to_o speak_v kind_o to_o all_o sort_n of_o person_n for_o my_o work_n these_o tit._n 3._o 8._o 1._o 2_o tim._n 2._o 12._o 1_o tim._n 5._o 10._o tit._n 2._o 14._o math._n 5._o 47._o 1_o tim._n 6._o 18._o rev._n 3._o 2._o rom._n 13._o 12._o act._n 26._o 20._o our_o work_n must_v be_v visible_o as_o well_o as_o true_o good_a math._n 5._o 16._o must_v be_v exemplary_a tit._n 2._o 7._o yet_o we_o must_v not_o expect_v justification_n or_o salvation_n by_o our_o own_o work_n but_o by_o grace_n eph._n 2._o 8_o 9_o rom._n 3._o 28._o thus_o do_v this_o man_n of_o god_n gird_v himself_o with_o the_o sword_n of_o the_o spirit_n which_o he_o faithful_o and_o successful_o manage_v against_o his_o corruption_n temptation_n and_o transgression_n thus_o do_v he_o put_v on_o the_o breastplate_n of_o righteousness_n hold_v the_o mystery_n of_o faith_n in_o a_o pure_a conscience_n apply_v the_o word_n of_o god_n as_o a_o inviolable_a law_n and_o rule_n to_o his_o heart_n and_o life_n sincere_o aim_v at_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o the_o obtain_v that_o blessedness_n which_o by_o the_o covenant_n of_o god_n be_v secure_v to_o the_o undefiled_a in_o the_o way_n who_o walk_v in_o the_o law_n of_o the_o lord_n how_o fit_a be_v he_o to_o be_v the_o mouth_n of_o god_n and_o ambassador_n of_o christ_n to_o sinner_n who_o when_o with_o great_a importunity_n he_o call_v they_o to_o repentance_n and_o reformation_n of_o heart_n and_o life_n and_o the_o mortification_n of_o the_o most_o belove_a lust_n and_o most_o earnest_o press_v upon_o they_o faith_n and_o holiness_n and_o universal_a conformity_n to_o the_o will_n of_o god_n be_v not_o reproach_v by_o his_o own_o heart_n as_o if_o he_o lay_v heavy_a burden_n upon_o other_o which_o himself_o will_v not_o touch_v with_o one_o of_o his_o finger_n but_o with_o deliberate_a choice_n and_o constant_a resolution_n impose_v they_o upon_o himself_o and_o obviate_v all_o objection_n by_o demonstrate_v the_o strict_a holiness_n to_o be_v practicable_a eligible_a and_o delectable_a by_o his_o own_o example_n but_o though_o he_o be_v very_o liberal_o instruct_v by_o nature_n art_n and_o grace_n for_o the_o office_n and_o work_n of_o the_o ministry_n yet_o such_o low_a and_o mean_a thought_n have_v he_o of_o himself_o both_o of_o his_o gift_n and_o grace_n and_o such_o deep_a and_o affect_a apprehension_n of_o the_o difficulty_n and_o weight_n of_o the_o ministerial_a service_n which_o as_o it_o be_v in_o itself_o so_o be_v to_o he_o onus_fw-la tremendum_fw-la and_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d who_o be_v sufficient_a say_v the_o apostle_n that_o though_o it_o be_v his_o design_n and_o desire_v to_o serve_v god_n and_o his_o church_n in_o that_o great_a work_n yet_o he_o be_v so_o discourage_v that_o he_o will_v not_o as_o too_o many_o do_v hasty_o adventure_v and_o engage_v himself_o in_o that_o office_n by_o solemn_a ordination_n but_o will_v first_o prove_v himself_o well_o ask_v counsel_n of_o god_n and_o his_o word_n and_o attend_v to_o the_o call_v of_o god_n by_o his_o spirit_n and_o providence_n according_o be_v master_n of_o art_n he_o do_v sometime_o exercise_v his_o gift_n in_o some_o country_n village_n nigh_o the_o university_n where_o his_o manner_n be_v at_o first_o private_o to_o inquire_v out_o what_o small_a parish_n within_o ten_o or_o fifteen_o mile_n of_o cambridge_n be_v destitute_a of_o minister_n unto_o these_o he_o go_v and_o preach_v and_o that_o with_o such_o privacy_n as_o for_o some_o while_n none_o know_v of_o it_o but_o himself_o and_o the_o parishioner_n to_o who_o he_o go_v and_o to_o many_o of_o they_o it_o be_v a_o long_a time_n unknown_a either_o who_o he_o be_v or_o from_o whence_o he_o come_v this_o service_n he_o perform_v gratis_o neither_o expect_v nor_o according_a any_o worldly_a reward_n yea_o it_o be_v a_o charge_n to_o he_o among_o these_o countrypeople_n god_n bless_v he_o and_o give_v he_o the_o first-fruit_n of_o his_o ministry_n make_v he_o instrumental_a and_o successful_a to_o the_o conversion_n and_o edification_n of_o many_o whereby_o he_o be_v so_o endear_v to_o they_o and_o they_o to_o he_o that_o after_o he_o be_v call_v to_o preach_v at_o one_o certain_a place_n in_o cambridge_n he_o will_v yet_o often_o go_v among_o they_o on_o the_o weekday_n preach_v sometime_o at_o one_o place_n and_o sometime_o at_o another_o the_o people_n lay_v aside_o their_o country-business_n and_o ready_o travel_v several_a mile_n to_o attend_v upon_o his_o ministry_n and_o after_o his_o remove_n from_o cambridge_n to_o a_o considerable_a distance_n in_o essex_n and_o suffolk_n his_o manner_n be_v for_o the_o most_o part_n so_o long_o as_o he_o live_v once_o a_o year_n to_o visit_v those_o people_n preach_v to_o they_o and_o converse_v with_o they_o after_o he_o have_v a_o while_n thus_o exercise_v his_o gift_n among_o the_o country_n village_n he_o observe_v three_o thing_n especial_o which_o
strength_n of_o adversary_n jan._n 1._o 1673._o i_o awake_v about_o four_o of_o the_o clock_n in_o the_o morning_n and_o have_v many_o sweet_a meditation_n in_o my_o bed_n for_o the_o space_n of_o about_o two_o hour_n i_o then_o resolve_v with_o myself_o to_o engage_v my_o heart_n afresh_o and_o to_o renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o the_o lord_n the_o beginning_n of_o this_o new_a year_n to_o be_v the_o lord_n servant_n to_o serve_v the_o lord_n and_o his_o son_n jesus_n christ_n all_o the_o remainder_n of_o the_o day_n i_o have_v to_o live_v in_o this_o world_n in_o such_o service_n as_o he_o shall_v see_v meet_a to_o employ_v i_o the_o encouragement_n and_o inducement_n that_o be_v bring_v to_o my_o mind_n and_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n willing_o and_o cheerful_o to_o give_v up_o myself_o to_o the_o lord_n to_o serve_v he_o and_o his_o son_n jesus_n christ_n be_v these_o 1._o his_o promise_n of_o afford_v his_o presence_n and_o assistance_n to_o such_o as_o be_v his_o servant_n and_o to_o be_v their_o god_n isa_n 41._o 8_o 9_o 10._o 2._o the_o great_a and_o precious_a promise_n make_v to_o his_o servant_n isa_n 54._o per_fw-la totum_fw-la which_o conclude_v thus_o v._n 17._o this_o be_v the_o heritage_n of_o the_o servant_n of_o the_o lord_n 3._o we_o glorify_v god_n when_o we_o serve_v he_o isa_n 49._o 3._o thou_o be_v my_o servant_n o_o israel_n in_o who_o i_o will_v be_v glorify_v 4._o god_n have_v do_v great_a thing_n for_o i_o both_o for_o my_o outward_a and_o inward_a man_n and_o the_o only_a thing_n that_o he_o require_v of_o i_o be_v to_o serve_v he_o in_o truth_n and_o sincerity_n 1_o sam._n 12._o 24._o 5._o all_o christ_n servant_n shall_v assure_o be_v with_o he_o where_o he_o be_v and_o shall_v be_v honour_v of_o the_o father_n joh._n 12._o 26._o and_o shall_v enter_v into_o the_o joy_n of_o their_o lord_n mat._n 25._o 21._o may_v 19_o 1676._o read_v levit._n 22._o 3._o whosoever_o of_o the_o priest_n in_o their_o generation_n go_v unto_o the_o holy_a thing_n which_o the_o child_n of_o israel_n do_v hallow_v unto_o the_o lord_n have_v his_o uncleanness_n upon_o he_o that_o soul_n shall_v be_v cut_v off_o from_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o the_o ensue_a sabbath_n be_v sacrament_n day_n i_o consider_v with_o myself_o 1_o st_z that_o great_a reverence_n be_v due_a to_o the_o lord_n supper_n than_o to_o the_o holy_a thing_n under_o the_o law_n 2_o lie_v moral_a uncleanness_n be_v great_a than_o ceremonial_a 3_o lie_n therefore_o i_o consider_v how_o i_o may_v go_v to_o this_o ordinance_n and_o administer_v it_o to_o other_o without_o have_v my_o uncleanness_n upon_o i_o that_o be_v how_o i_o may_v be_v purge_v from_o my_o uncleanness_n to_o that_o end_n i_o determine_v 1._o humble_o to_o acknowledge_v confess_v and_o bewail_v the_o uncleanness_n of_o my_o heart_n lip_n and_o life_n before_o the_o lord_n isa_n 6._o 5_o 6_o 7_o 8_o 9_o when_o the_o prophet_n bemoan_v his_o uncleanness_n the_o lord_n purge_v it_o away_o and_o send_v he_o to_o do_v his_o office_n 2._o to_o go_v to_o the_o fountain_n set_v open_a for_o sin_n and_o for_o uncleanness_n zech._n 13._o 1._o that_o be_v to_o act_v my_o faith_n on_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n which_o cleanse_v from_o all_o sin_n 1_o joh._n 1._o 7._o 3._o to_o rest_v upon_o god_n by_o faith_n for_o fulfil_v his_o covenant_n wherein_o he_o have_v promise_v to_o cleanse_v i_o from_o all_o my_o filthiness_n and_o to_o save_v i_o from_o all_o my_o uncleanness_n ezek._n 36._o 25_o 29._o act._n 15._o 9_o 4._o to_o plead_v earnest_o with_o god_n to_o take_v away_o all_o iniquity_n hos_fw-la 14._o 2._o and_o to_o create_v in_o i_o a_o clean_a heart_n ps_n 51._o 10._o and_o to_o succeed_v my_o prayer_n with_o endeavour_n to_o put_v away_o evil_a and_o uncleanness_n out_o of_o my_o heart_n and_o life_n isa_n 1._o 16._o 18._o 2_o cor._n 7._o 1._o these_o be_v many_o of_o those_o judicious_a observation_n which_o this_o holy_a person_n make_v and_o those_o spiritual_a experience_n he_o find_v and_o record_v for_o his_o own_o use_n that_o he_o may_v always_o have_v at_o hand_n before_o he_o the_o manner_n and_o method_n of_o god_n deal_v with_o his_o soul_n the_o work_n of_o corruption_n and_o grace_n his_o lapse_n and_o recovery_n his_o combat_n and_o victory_n over_o world_n sin_n and_o satan_n his_o perseverance_n and_o progress_n in_o holiness_n the_o secret_a intercourse_n between_o god_n and_o his_o soul_n the_o withdrawing_n and_o return_v of_o the_o holy_a spirit_n the_o faithfulness_n of_o god_n covenant_n the_o truth_n of_o his_o word_n sensible_o feel_v in_o his_o heart_n food_n for_o his_o faith_n encouragement_n to_o walk_v with_o god_n with_o experimental_a instruction_n how_o to_o comfort_v trouble_v conscience_n in_o which_o part_n of_o the_o ministry_n he_o have_v a_o peculiar_a excellency_n beyond_o most_o part_n of_o his_o brethren_n for_o partly_o by_o his_o diligent_a search_n of_o the_o holy_a scripture_n partly_o by_o observe_v and_o record_v the_o method_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n towards_o himself_o and_o partly_o by_o discourse_v with_o trouble_a conscience_n wherein_o as_o he_o be_v much_o exercise_v so_o he_o take_v much_o delight_n he_o be_v so_o acquaint_v with_o the_o various_a case_n of_o conscience_n and_o so_o well_o understand_v both_o case_n and_o cure_v that_o it_o may_v be_v true_o say_v of_o he_o the_o lord_n god_n have_v give_v he_o the_o tongue_n of_o the_o learned_a that_o he_o may_v know_v how_o to_o speak_v a_o word_n in_o season_n to_o the_o weary_a on_o which_o account_n he_o may_v be_v surname_v barnabas_n a_o son_n of_o consolation_n it_o be_v his_o usual_a manner_n in_o preach_v to_o foresee_v and_o raise_v such_o objection_n as_o trouble_a soul_n be_v prone_a to_o make_v against_o themselves_o and_o to_o solve_v they_o with_o much_o clearness_n and_o satisfaction_n and_o many_o application_n of_o such_o soul_n be_v make_v to_o to_o he_o in_o private_a as_o to_o a_o skilful_a experience_a spiritual_a physician_n who_o advice_n god_n succeed_v with_o his_o blessing_n to_o the_o encouragement_n of_o the_o faith_n and_o hope_n of_o many_o doubt_a christian_n that_o walk_v in_o darkness_n which_o be_v here_o publish_v not_o only_o as_o instance_n and_o demonstration_n of_o that_o spirit_n of_o light_n and_o grace_n that_o power_n of_o godliness_n which_o possess_v and_o govern_v his_o heart_n and_o life_n and_o fit_v he_o to_o be_v such_o a_o useful_a instrument_n for_o the_o service_n of_o christ_n and_o his_o church_n on_o which_o account_n his_o memory_n be_v worthy_o honourable_a and_o precious_a to_o all_o good_a man_n but_o especial_o for_o the_o instruction_n direction_n relief_n support_n and_o encouragement_n of_o other_o who_o be_v follow_v he_o though_o at_o a_o great_a distance_n in_o that_o narrow_a way_n which_o lead_v to_o that_o life_n to_o which_o he_o be_v arrive_v they_o who_o labour_n and_o be_v heavy_a lade_v who_o be_v bow_v down_o under_o the_o power_n and_o weight_n of_o their_o sin_n wrestle_v with_o corruption_n and_o temptation_n exercise_v with_o darkness_n and_o doubt_n with_o fear_n and_o faint_n they_o who_o be_v call_v to_o difficult_a service_n which_o require_v much_o labour_n and_o diligence_n and_o self-denial_n and_o may_v expose_v they_o to_o the_o hazard_n and_o danger_n of_o this_o evil_a world_n may_v hence_o take_v counsel_n and_o encouragement_n while_o they_o read_v the_o sense_n and_o work_n of_o their_o own_o heart_n in_o the_o experience_n the_o method_n and_o practicablenesse_n of_o their_o duty_n in_o the_o example_n of_o this_o eminent_a saint_n we_o have_v hitherto_o see_v something_n of_o his_o conscience_n of_o sin_n and_o duty_n his_o industry_n and_o zeal_n for_o the_o service_n and_o glory_n of_o god_n his_o combat_n with_o the_o flesh_n and_o satan_n his_o love_n to_o christ_n and_o his_o church_n his_o spirituality_n in_o religion_n his_o long_n and_o breathe_n after_o god_n his_o remember_a god_n upon_o his_o bed_n and_o meditate_v on_o he_o in_o the_o night_n watch_v his_o wise_a improvement_n of_o the_o holy_a scripture_n his_o due_a fulfil_n of_o all_o relation_n his_o holy_a manner_n of_o live_v to_o god_n from_o whence_o we_o may_v rational_o conclude_v that_o sure_o he_o give_v this_o diligence_n unto_o the_o full_a assurance_n of_o hope_n that_o he_o taste_v the_o consolation_n of_o god_n and_o receive_v the_o earnest_n of_o glory_n that_o he_o walk_v upon_o the_o top_n of_o pisgah_n in_o the_o light_n of_o god_n countenance_n and_o in_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o heavenly_a canaan_n which_o privilege_n indeed_o the_o god_n of_o peace_n and_o comfort_n do_v not_o deny_v he_o he_o be_v a_o man_n as_o of_o much_o grace_n so_o of_o much_o peace_n a_o instance_n of_o that_o
word_n ps_n 119._o 165._o great_a peace_n have_v they_o that_o love_v thy_o law_n he_o receive_v the_o spirit_n which_o be_v of_o god_n and_o know_v the_o thing_n that_o be_v free_o give_v to_o he_o of_o god_n and_o rejoice_v therein_o 1_o cor._n 2._o 12._o as_o to_o his_o conversion_n which_o to_o some_o that_o have_v live_v long_o in_o ignorance_n security_n sensuality_n profaneness_n and_o forgetfulness_n of_o god_n be_v very_o sensible_a he_o be_v from_o tender_a year_n restrain_v and_o well_o incline_v it_o be_v not_o so_o remarkable_a to_o he_o the_o most_o discernible_a part_n thereof_o be_v when_o he_o be_v a_o young_a scollar_n in_o cambridge_n nor_o do_v he_o then_o experience_n very_o notable_a work_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n which_o occasion_v some_o trouble_n to_o his_o mind_n and_o he_o fear_v his_o humiliation_n be_v not_o deep_a enough_o but_o he_o receive_v full_a satisfaction_n from_o a_o passage_n in_o a_o sermon_n which_o he_o hear_v preach_v by_o that_o worthy_a and_o excellent_a servant_n of_o jesus_n christ_n mr._n richard_n vines_n than_o master_n of_o pembroke_n hall_n he_o have_v sometime_o say_v to_o his_o friend_n that_o he_o be_v not_o much_o acquaint_v with_o those_o ravish_a joy_n which_o some_o have_v feel_v but_o yet_o have_v that_o comfort_n and_o joy_n in_o the_o holy_a ghost_n which_o give_v he_o satisfaction_n his_o method_n and_o manner_n be_v to_o derive_v his_o assurance_n and_o comfort_n from_o the_o write_a word_n of_o the_o truth_n whereof_o he_o will_v say_v he_o have_v such_o a_o full_a persuasion_n as_o be_v the_o sure_a word_n of_o god_n that_o he_o do_v more_o firm_o believe_v it_o than_o if_o a_o angel_n shall_v speak_v to_o he_o from_o heaven_n according_a to_o 2_o pet._n 1._o 17_o 18_o 19_o 20_o 21._o he_o can_v not_o satisfy_v himself_o with_o the_o expectation_n or_o apprehension_n of_o the_o immediate_a sole_a testimony_n of_o the_o spirit_n without_o the_o word_n but_o will_v compare_v himself_o with_o the_o word_n frequent_o practise_v the_o duty_n of_o self_n examination_n search_v for_o those_o grace_n disposition_n and_o operation_n in_o his_o heart_n which_o be_v promise_v in_o the_o word_n and_o to_o which_o the_o promise_n be_v make_v which_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n enlighten_v he_o to_o discern_v and_o enable_v he_o in_o a_o way_n of_o argumentation_n to_o infer_v thence_o his_o interest_n in_o christ_n and_o the_o covenant_n of_o god_n for_o his_o satisfaction_n and_o spiritual_a consolation_n and_o the_o assurance_n which_o he_o attain_v in_o this_o method_n and_o by_o these_o mean_v he_o thus_o record_v his_o evidence_n 1._o evidence_n of_o true_a and_o save_v faith_n after_o my_o recovery_n from_o a_o sickness_n i_o set_v myself_o to_o examine_v and_o prove_v my_o faith_n to_o see_v if_o it_o be_v true_a and_o save_a because_o pardon_v of_o sin_n freedom_n from_o condemnation_n eternal_a life_n with_o other_o great_a blessing_n be_v promise_v to_o believer_n and_o much_o of_o our_o comfort_n in_o sickness_n and_o health_n in_o life_n and_o death_n depend_v on_o the_o knowledge_n and_o proof_n of_o our_o faith_n and_o that_o i_o do_v believe_v in_o christ_n with_o a_o true_a and_o save_v faith_n i_o be_v satisfy_v thus_o 1._o from_o those_o expression_n of_o scripture_n wherein_o the_o nature_n and_o essential_a act_n of_o faith_n be_v set_v forth_o as_o 1._o come_v to_o christ_n joh._n 6._o 35._o he_o that_o come_v he_o that_o believe_v on_o i_o come_v be_v believe_v my_o conscience_n bear_v i_o witness_v that_o i_o be_o come_v to_o christ_n for_o christ_n himself_o and_o all_o his_o benefit_n i_o sin_v my_o soul_n draw_v to_o christ_n and_o upon_o all_o occasion_n look_v and_o go_v to_o he_o 2._o receive_v joh._n 1._o 12._o as_o many_o as_o receive_v he_o even_o as_o many_o as_o believe_v on_o his_o name_n receive_v be_v believe_v now_o through_o grace_n i_o find_v my_o heart_n willing_o receive_v and_o thankful_o accept_v jesus_n christ_n as_o god_n offer_v he_o in_o the_o gospel_n even_o a_o whole_a christ_n christ_n in_o all_o his_o office_n to_o be_v to_o i_o prophet_n priest_n and_o king_n 3_o trust_v eph._n 1._o 13._o in_o who_o you_o trust_v you_o believe_v trust_v be_v believe_v this_o also_o i_o find_v that_o god_n have_v give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o rely_v on_o christ_n for_o righteousness_n grace_n and_o life_n 2_o from_o the_o ground_n of_o my_o faith_n which_o be_v the_o word_n of_o god_n it_o be_v through_o my_o knowledge_n and_o acquaintance_n with_o the_o word_n that_o i_o have_v be_v bring_v to_o believe_v in_o christ_n and_o through_o christ_n in_o the_o father_n that_o send_v he_o and_o i_o read_v such_o as_o believe_v through_o the_o word_n be_v true_a believer_n for_o who_o christ_n make_v intercession_n joh._n 17._o 20._o and_o who_o have_v everlasting_a life_n and_o shall_v not_o come_v into_o condemnation_n joh._n 5._o 24._o 3_o from_o this_o property_n and_o effect_n of_o faith_n viz._n prize_v christ_n 1_o pet._n 2._o 7._o unto_o you_o that_o believe_v christ_n it_o be_v precious_a the_o apostle_n speak_v of_o the_o faith_n of_o god_n elect_v ch_n 1._o 2._o and_o of_o save_a faith_n ch_n 1._o 9_o now_o i_o find_v christ_n be_v precious_a to_o i_o so_o precious_a to_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o value_v and_o prefer_v he_o above_o the_o whole_a world_n i_o account_v his_o blood_n precious_a which_o cleanse_v i_o from_o all_o sin_n the_o promise_v exceed_o great_a and_o precious_a which_o in_o he_o be_v yea_o and_o amen_o christ_n be_v so_o precious_a to_o i_o that_o i_o be_o willing_a to_o suffer_v for_o he_o phil._n 1._o 29._o yea_o i_o choose_v a_o suffer_a condition_n for_o christ_n before_o the_o honour_n riches_n and_o pleasure_n of_o the_o world_n when_o they_o can_v be_v enjoy_v without_o sin_v against_o he_o heb._n 11._o 24_o 25_o 26._o i_o be_o willing_a to_o take_v up_o the_o cross_n and_o forsake_v all_o thing_n for_o he_o evidence_n that_o i_o be_v one_o of_o god_n servant_n sept._n 30._o 1666._o i_o consider_v with_o myself_o what_o evidence_n i_o have_v that_o i_o be_v one_o of_o god_n servant_n and_o be_v satisfy_v from_o these_o scripture_n rom._n 6._o 16._o know_v you_o not_o that_o to_o who_o you_o yield_v yourselves_o servant_n to_o obey_v his_o servant_n you_o be_v to_o who_o you_o obey_v whether_o of_o sin_n unto_o death_n or_o of_o obedience_n unto_o righteousness_n i_o find_v god_n have_v give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o yield_v my_o self_n to_o he_o nehem._n 1._o 11._o o_o lord_n i_o beseech_v thou_o let_v now_o thy_o ear_n be_v attentive_a to_o the_o prayer_n of_o thy_o servant_n and_o to_o the_o prayer_n of_o thy_o servant_n that_o desire_v to_o fear_v thy_o name_n here_o i_o see_v that_o such_o as_o desire_v to_o fear_n god_n be_v account_v god_n servant_n which_o through_o grace_n i_o do_v some_o doubt_n arise_v in_o my_o heart_n whether_o i_o be_v one_o of_o god_n servant_n because_o it_o be_v say_v joh._n 8._o 34._o very_o very_o i_o say_v unto_o you_o that_o whosoever_o commit_v sin_n be_v the_o servant_n of_o sin_n for_o remove_v this_o doubt_n i_o consider_v 1._o that_o the_o meaning_n of_o this_o scripture_n be_v not_o that_o no_o man_n that_o have_v sin_n in_o his_o heart_n or_o do_v sin_n in_o his_o life_n can_v be_v god_n servant_n but_o be_v a_o servant_n of_o sin_n for_o then_o god_n shall_v have_v no_o servant_n upon_o the_o face_n of_o the_o earth_n eccl._n 7._o 20._o there_o be_v not_o a_o just_a man_n upon_o earth_n that_o do_v good_a and_o sin_v not_o joh._n 1._o 8._o if_o we_o say_v that_o we_o have_v no_o sin_n we_o deceive_v ourselves_o and_o the_o truth_n be_v not_o in_o we_o 2._o it_o be_v say_v that_o the_o servant_n of_o sin_n be_v free_a from_o righteousness_n rom._n 6._o 20._o now_o through_o mercy_n i_o follow_v after_o righteousness_n and_o find_v something_o of_o it_o whence_o i_o conclude_v i_o be_v not_o the_o servant_n of_o sin_n 3._o i_o see_v that_o david_n hold_v this_o conclusion_n that_o he_o be_v one_o of_o god_n servant_n though_o he_o be_v compass_v about_o with_o infirmity_n yea_o even_o at_o such_o time_n as_o he_o be_v under_o a_o sense_n of_o his_o sinful_a infirmity_n ps_n 116._o 11_o 16._o o_o lord_n true_o i_o be_o thy_o servant_n i_o be_o thy_o servant_n yet_o he_o have_v say_v in_o his_o haste_n unbelieve_o all_o man_n be_v liar_n david_n after_o he_o have_v commit_v the_o great_a sin_n of_o number_v the_o people_n against_o the_o counsel_n and_o advice_n of_o his_o friend_n confess_v that_o he_o have_v sin_v great_o and_o do_v very_o foolish_o yet_o call_v himself_o a_o servant_n of_o the_o lord_n 2_o sam._n 24._o 10._o 4._o as_o i_o be_v consider_v
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upward_o in_o which_o time_n he_o discharge_v the_o office_n of_o steward_n to_o the_o temporal_a of_o catechist_n and_o conduct_v to_o the_o spiritual_a advantage_n of_o that_o society_n here_o it_o be_v that_o the_o lord_n train_v up_o this_o his_o disciple_n to_o be_v a_o scribe_n instruct_v for_o the_o kingdom_n of_o god_n furnish_v he_o so_o plentiful_o with_o divine_a and_o spiritual_a knowledge_n which_o he_o gain_v as_o well_o by_o experience_n and_o observation_n of_o god_n deal_v with_o he_o and_o the_o operation_n of_o his_o spirit_n upon_o his_o heart_n as_o by_o industrious_a study_n and_o meditation_n that_o he_o can_v ready_o bring_v forth_o out_o of_o his_o treasure_n thing_n new_a and_o old_a be_v able_a to_o speak_v pertinent_o suitable_o and_o seasonable_o to_o the_o various_a capacity_n condition_n and_o case_n of_o saint_n and_o sinner_n and_o become_v a_o happy_a powerful_a instrument_n in_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n for_o the_o conversion_n edification_n 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most_o of_o his_o brethren_n from_o the_o shoulder_n and_o upward_o i_o know_v none_o i_o can_v better_o compare_v he_o with_o than_o that_o eminent_a and_o powerful_a servant_n and_o instrument_n of_o jesus_n christ_n mr._n arthur_n hildershaw_n who_o i_o be_o prone_a to_o believe_v he_o propound_v to_o himself_o as_o a_o pattern_n for_o imitation_n but_o knowledge_n alone_o be_v not_o sufficient_a instruction_n for_o a_o minister_n of_o the_o gospel_n it_o be_v no_o rare_a thing_n to_o find_v some_o great_a scholar_n in_o the_o theory_n of_o scripture_n who_o yet_o be_v but_o very_o ordinary_a christian_n who_o light_n like_o that_o of_o the_o moon_n have_v very_o cold_a influence_n he_o be_v best_a accomplish_v who_o know_v head_n effect_n his_o heart_n and_o govern_v his_o life_n who_o know_v reveal_v truth_n as_o well_o by_o spiritual_a sense_n and_o experience_n as_o by_o speculation_n the_o spirit_n of_o
god_n be_v a_o spirit_n of_o truth_n and_o of_o life_n too_o communicate_v both_o grace_n and_o gift_n and_o teach_v as_o well_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d as_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d both_o which_o consist_v together_o in_o this_o excellent_a person_n the_o word_n of_o god_n dwell_v both_o in_o his_o head_n and_o heart_n and_o be_v effectual_o the_o law_n of_o his_o life_n he_o be_v a_o burn_v as_o well_o as_o shine_v light_n a_o man_n more_o than_o ordinary_o mortify_v to_o the_o pleasure_n of_o the_o flesh_n and_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n free_o and_o resolve_o devote_v to_o the_o fear_n of_o god_n his_o conversation_n be_v in_o heaven_n his_o communion_n with_o god_n his_o delight_n in_o the_o saint_n his_o business_n religion_n his_o zeal_n for_o holiness_n his_o main_a design_n the_o glorify_v of_o god_n and_o the_o salvation_n of_o his_o own_o and_o other_o soul_n whereof_o the_o follow_a page_n will_v i_o doubt_v not_o be_v a_o abundant_a evidence_n not_o only_o to_o the_o charitable_a but_o rational_a judgement_n of_o the_o christian_a reader_n as_o for_o his_o practice_n of_o mortification_n i_o shall_v not_o otherwise_o express_v it_o than_o in_o his_o own_o word_n as_o i_o read_v it_o in_o the_o record_n of_o the_o remarkable_a passage_n of_o his_o life_n by_o his_o own_o hand_n but_o after_o he_o have_v a_o family_n viz._n have_v be_v foil_v by_o the_o lust_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n several_a time_n and_o consider_v what_o i_o shall_v do_v to_o get_v rid_v of_o those_o lust_n which_o have_v so_o often_o prevail_v over_o i_o god_n direct_v i_o to_o three_o several_a mean_n the_o one_o be_v suggest_v to_o i_o as_o i_o be_v walk_v in_o my_o garden_n and_o meditate_v on_o the_o affair_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o be_v to_o be_v more_o frequent_a in_o eye_v apply_v and_o meditate_v on_o the_o promise_n and_o the_o scripture_n which_o the_o holy_a spirit_n of_o god_n set_v before_o i_o for_o this_o end_n be_v 2_o pet._n 1._o 4._o by_o the_o precious_a promise_n give_v to_o we_o we_o escape_v the_o pollution_n that_o be_v in_o the_o world_n through_o lust_n the_o other_o be_v suggest_v to_o i_o as_o i_o be_v hear_v a_o sermon_n and_o that_o be_v to_o be_v daily_o apply_v the_o lord_n jesus_n to_o my_o soul_n ground_v on_o rom._n 13._o 13._o 14._o where_o the_o apostle_n advise_v to_o put_v on_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n as_o a_o help_n against_o chamber_v and_o wantonness_n strife_n and_o envy_v the_o three_o be_v suggest_v to_o i_o as_o i_o be_v ride_v abroad_o and_o discourse_v of_o the_o thing_n of_o god_n which_o be_v gal._n 5._o 16._o walk_v in_o the_o spirit_n and_o you_o shall_v not_o fulfil_v the_o lust_n of_o the_o flesh_n in_o pursuance_n of_o these_o mean_n for_o the_o mortify_n of_o the_o lust_n of_o the_o flesh_n i_o determine_v with_o myself_o to_o eye_n the_o promise_n of_o god_n more_o frequent_o than_o i_o have_v do_v and_o to_o that_o end_n i_o choose_v out_o some_o promise_n of_o daily_a and_o continual_a use_n and_o determine_v by_o the_o help_n of_o god_n to_o salute_v and_o embrace_v they_o once_o a_o day_n and_o not_o only_o to_o take_v a_o view_n of_o they_o myself_o but_o in_o my_o meditation_n and_o soliloquy_n to_o spread_v they_o before_o god_n and_o to_o put_v the_o lord_n in_o remembrance_n of_o they_o for_o supply_v all_o the_o want_n of_o the_o day_n i_o choose_v that_o promise_n phil._n 4._o 19_o for_o growth_n in_o grace_n hos_n 14._o 5._o for_o subdue_a my_o sin_n mic._n 7._o 19_o rom._n 6._o 14._o for_o success_n in_o my_o undertake_n ps_n 1._o 3._o for_o turn_v all_o the_o event_n of_o the_o day_n for_o good_a to_o i_o rom._n 8._o 28._o for_o the_o conversion_n and_o sanctification_n of_o my_o child_n isa_n 44._o 3._o for_o my_o yoke-fellow_n and_o servant_n and_o all_o other_o in_o my_o family_n that_o they_o may_v get_v good_a from_o i_o and_o return_v to_o god_n and_o grow_v in_o grace_n hos_n 14._o 7._o for_o sanctify_v of_o my_o affliction_n isa_n 27._o 9_o zech._n 13._o 9_o for_o audience_n of_o my_o prayer_n mic._n 7._o 7._o joh._n 14._o 13._o 14._o for_o grace_n and_o strength_n to_o manage_v all_o the_o work_n of_o the_o day_n to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n zech._n 10._o 12._o for_o protection_n from_o danger_n and_o casualty_n gen._n 15._o 1._o for_o give_v i_o eternal_a life_n in_o case_n the_o day_n shall_v bring_v death_n to_o i_o luk._n 12._o 32._o joh._n 3._o 16._o for_o counsel_n and_o direction_n in_o all_o case_n of_o difficulty_n and_o unexpected_a emergency_n isa_n 58._o 11._o ps_n 32._o 8._o i_o judge_v it_o also_o very_o conducible_a to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o my_o own_o soul_n good_a to_o manage_v all_o my_o employment_n as_o much_o as_o may_v be_v with_o a_o eye_n to_o the_o promise_n and_o as_o to_o my_o call_n when_o i_o be_o study_v to_o compose_v sermon_n deut._n 28._o 8._o when_o i_o go_v to_o preach_v math._n 28._o 19_o 20._o for_o success_n in_o my_o preach_n isa_n 56._o 8._o 65._o 23._o i_o be_v the_o more_o confirm_v in_o this_o frequent_a and_o familiar_a converse_n with_o the_o promise_n not_o only_o as_o it_o help_v on_o our_o participation_n of_o the_o divine_a nature_n and_o our_o escape_v the_o pollution_n that_o be_v in_o the_o world_n through_o lust_n but_o because_o the_o lord_n command_v we_o to_o be_v always_o mindful_a of_o his_o covenant_n 1_o chron._n 16._o 15._o and_o it_o please_v god_n to_o see_v we_o take_v hold_v of_o his_o covenant_n isa_n 56._o 4._o and_o it_o be_v for_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n 2_o cor._n 1._o 20._o i_o determine_v also_o when_o i_o shall_v feel_v the_o work_n of_o any_o lust_n present_o to_o look_v up_o to_o jesus_n christ_n it_o be_v the_o remedy_n which_o the_o holy_a ghost_n prescribe_v against_o such_o sin_n as_o do_v most_o easy_o beset_v we_o heb._n 12._o 1._o 2._o i_o have_v often_o be_v encourage_v and_o help_v in_o this_o practice_n of_o look_v unto_o jesus_n to_o subdue_v my_o sin_n from_o act._n 3._o ult_n god_n send_v his_o son_n jesus_n to_o bless_v we_o in_o turn_v we_o every_o one_o from_o his_o iniquity_n beza_n note_n upon_o that_o text_n be_v very_o good_a and_o have_v be_v of_o use_n to_o i_o viz._n that_o the_o great_a word_n for_o inquity_n signify_v the_o root_n and_o habit_n of_o sin_n i_o see_v it_o be_v my_o duty_n and_o concernment_n every_o day_n to_o be_v more_o frequent_a in_o apply_v my_o soul_n to_o christ_n and_o christ_n his_o benefit_n to_o my_o soul_n in_o pursuance_n of_o the_o 3d_o mean_n of_o mortification_n viz._n walk_v in_o the_o spirit_n i_o resolve_v to_o endeavour_v to_o do_v my_o work_n and_o duty_n both_o to_o god_n and_o man_n more_o spiritual_o and_o in_o order_n hereunto_o to_o reduce_v my_o act_n to_o some_o word_n and_o as_o oft_o as_o i_o can_v to_o eye_n some_o word_n of_o god_n as_o i_o be_v enter_v on_o they_o as_o for_o instance_n if_o i_o be_v call_v out_o by_o other_o or_o stir_v up_o in_o my_o own_o spirit_n to_o visit_v the_o sick_a or_o any_o afflict_a person_n to_o have_v my_o thought_n on_o math._n 25._o 36._o or_o jam._n 1._o 27._o when_o any_o poor_a people_n come_v to_o i_o for_o relief_n or_o any_o object_n of_o charity_n be_v present_v to_o i_o to_o eye_n gal._n 6._o 10._o or_o hebr._n 13._o 16._o or_o isa_n 58._o 10._o or_o eccl._n 11._o 1._o or_o prov_fw-mi 19_o 17._o when_o a_o poor_a man_n come_v to_o borrow_v deut._n 15._o 7._o 8._o 10._o when_o to_o write_v letter_n take_v a_o journey_n or_o be_v any_o way_n employ_v for_o other_o gal._n 5._o 13._o phil._n 2._o 4._o when_o to_o visit_n out_o of_o courtesy_n or_o do_v any_o thing_n which_o courtesy_n require_v 1_o pet._n 3._o 8._o when_o to_o instruct_v my_o servant_n and_o child_n deut._n 6._o 7._o gen._n 18._o 19_o when_o to_o catechise_v the_o youth_n that_o come_v to_o my_o family_n joh._n 21._o 15._o prov._n 22._o 6._o when_o invite_v to_o exercise_v abroad_o among_o poor_a or_o rich_a isa_n 32._o ult_n when_o to_o administer_v a_o reproof_n leu._n 19_o 17._o when_o to_o confer_v about_o spiritual_a thing_n mal._n 3._o 17._o this_o be_v the_o wise_a and_o holy_a method_n which_o this_o faithful_a servant_n and_o soldier_n of_o jesus_n christ_n prescribe_v to_o himself_o by_o divine_a direction_n whereby_o to_o manage_v the_o spiritual_a war_n with_o the_o sin_n that_o dwell_v in_o he_o that_o he_o may_v not_o be_v overcome_v with_o it_o according_a to_o which_o he_o moreover_o charge_v himself_o with_o the_o practice_n of_o universal_a positive_a holiness_n which_o he_o thus_o record_v be_v under_o the_o rebuke_n of_o god_n chastise_v
do_v much_o encourage_v he_o to_o give_v himself_o up_o to_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o word_n 1._o the_o benefiting_a of_o his_o own_o soul_n in_o his_o meditation_n for_o preach_v for_o whilst_o he_o be_v study_v for_o other_o the_o lord_n make_v it_o a_o word_n of_o instruction_n to_o himself_o and_o he_o find_v it_o the_o best_a mean_n of_o growth_n to_o be_v water_v other_o yet_o herein_o he_o perceive_v he_o say_v great_a need_n of_o watchfulness_n and_o much_o care_n lest_o his_o heart_n shall_v put_v away_o that_o word_n from_o himself_o which_o he_o be_v press_v upon_o other_o 2._o he_o find_v his_o heart_n much_o divert_v from_o other_o study_n philosophy_n seem_v tedious_a to_o he_o he_o find_v not_o that_o satisfaction_n in_o study_v mere_a human_a author_n as_o in_o meditate_v on_o divine_a thing_n yea_o he_o think_v he_o disrelished_a all_o other_o study_n and_o they_o be_v unsavoury_a to_o he_o and_o he_o know_v not_o but_o that_o this_o may_v be_v of_o the_o lord_n thus_o to_o turn_v his_o heart_n from_o the_o one_o and_o incline_v it_o to_o the_o other_o study_n 3._o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o bless_v his_o labour_n in_o some_o measure_n and_o order_v so_o by_o his_o providence_n that_o it_o come_v to_o his_o knowledge_n as_o particular_o at_o burwell_n at_o swafham_n at_o soham_n at_o land-beech_n at_o chesterton_n in_o cambridgshire_n at_o debenham_n in_o suffolk_n at_o wethersfield_n in_o essex_n this_o be_v a_o especial_a encouragement_n to_o he_o as_o it_o may_v well_o be_v to_o pursue_v the_o ministry_n in_o the_o year_n 1654._o he_o be_v choose_v catechist_n for_o that_o year_n in_o the_o college_n in_o which_o choice_n he_o observe_v the_o special_a providence_n of_o god_n for_o whereas_o former_o the_o master_n use_v to_o nominate_v the_o fellow_n for_o such_o office_n as_o they_o shall_v bear_v he_o this_o year_n bid_v the_o fellow_n agree_v and_o choose_v among_o themselves_o which_o they_o do_v according_a to_o seniority_n his_o business_n detain_v he_o from_o be_v present_a at_o the_o meeting_n of_o the_o fellow_n and_o every_o one_o have_v choose_v what_o they_o like_v best_a they_o cast_v the_o catechist_n place_n upon_o he_o judge_v he_o fit_a for_o it_o which_o he_o accept_v and_o according_o begin_v to_o discharge_v it_o in_o michaelmass_n term._n this_o be_v the_o first_o place_n where_o he_o settle_v himself_o to_o a_o constant_a course_n of_o preach_v wherein_o god_n do_v great_o encourage_v and_o honour_v he_o for_o the_o very_a first_o night_n he_o exercise_v one_o of_o the_o fellow_n come_v to_o he_o and_o tell_v he_o he_o have_v feel_v the_o power_n of_o god_n in_o that_o ordinance_n upon_o his_o heart_n the_o statute_n of_o the_o college_n oblige_v he_o to_o these_o divinity_n exercise_n as_o catechist_n in_o the_o chapel_n only_o in_o term_n time_n towards_o the_o end_n of_o the_o term_n he_o begin_v to_o consider_v whether_o he_o shall_v continue_v and_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o exercise_n as_o well_o out_o of_o term_n as_o in_o term_n his_o conscience_n towards_o god_n as_o well_o as_o the_o local_a statute_n and_o his_o zeal_n to_o improve_v all_o opportunity_n to_o do_v good_a prompt_v he_o thereto_o be_v doubtful_a what_o to_o do_v he_o be_v determine_v to_o the_o affirmative_a by_o hear_v a_o sermon_n preach_v at_o st._n mary_n by_o the_o reverend_n and_o learned_a dr._n tuckury_n then_o professor_n of_o divinity_n there_o the_o scope_n whereof_o be_v to_o show_v what_o a_o bless_a and_o desirable_a thing_n it_o be_v to_o have_v the_o church_n of_o god_n multiply_v and_o increase_v and_o in_o the_o application_n he_o do_v in_o a_o especial_a manner_n direct_v his_o word_n to_o the_o university_n and_o do_v in_o the_o name_n of_o god_n earnest_o beseech_v every_o one_o in_o their_o place_n to_o endeavour_v the_o increase_n and_o multiply_v of_o the_o church_n of_o god_n both_o by_o add_v themselves_o to_o it_o and_o labour_v to_o add_v other_o to_o it_o his_o soul_n be_v much_o warm_v at_o this_o sermon_n and_o consider_v the_o seasonableness_n of_o it_o he_o look_v upon_o this_o word_n as_o direct_v special_o to_o himself_o and_o take_v encouragement_n from_o it_o to_o proceed_v in_o his_o work_n this_o practice_n of_o his_o be_v a_o proof_n not_o only_o of_o his_o ability_n but_o of_o his_o willingness_n also_o and_o that_o laborious_o to_o serve_v god_n in_o the_o work_n of_o the_o ministry_n about_o easter_n follow_v a_o motion_n be_v make_v to_o he_o by_o one_o of_o st._n andrews_n parish_n in_o cambridge_n in_o the_o name_n of_o the_o rest_n to_o supply_v that_o place_n which_o he_o decline_v promise_v only_o to_o give_v they_o one_o sermon_n afterwards_o the_o motion_n be_v more_o importunate_o renew_v to_o he_o he_o advise_v they_o to_o seek_v god_n to_o direct_v they_o in_o a_o business_n of_o that_o concern_v commend_v to_o they_o other_o of_o great_a ability_n and_o grace_n than_o himself_o to_o make_v choice_n of_o tell_v they_o he_o will_v at_o that_o time_n neither_o deny_v nor_o promise_v any_o thing_n about_o six_o week_n after_o 8_o or_o 9_o of_o the_o parish_n come_v to_o he_o in_o the_o name_n of_o the_o whole_a and_o signify_v to_o he_o that_o it_o be_v their_o joint_a request_n that_o he_o will_v preach_v with_o they_o on_o the_o lord_n day_n in_o the_o forenoon_n whereupon_o after_o a_o fortnight_n consideration_n and_o seek_v of_o god_n and_o consult_v friend_n he_o comply_v with_o their_o desire_n and_o undertake_v that_o service_n here_o god_n so_o bless_v his_o ministry_n both_o to_o the_o student_n in_o the_o university_n and_o people_n of_o the_o town_n that_o his_o encouragement_n be_v very_o great_a for_o which_o he_o always_o bless_v god_n in_o the_o college_n he_o so_o well_o discharge_v his_o office_n that_o the_o year_n now_o expire_a he_o be_v again_o choose_v into_o the_o same_o office_n next_o year_n and_o now_o be_v satisfy_v that_o god_n do_v call_v he_o to_o this_o work_n and_o office_n by_o the_o success_n which_o god_n give_v to_o his_o labour_n and_o the_o acceptance_n he_o have_v in_o the_o church_n he_o resolve_v thorough_o to_o devote_v and_o give_v up_o himself_o to_o it_o by_o solemn_a ordination_n for_o which_o end_n he_o repair_v to_o london_n and_o be_v there_o prove_v and_o well_o approve_v of_o was_z feb._n 13._o 1655_o solemn_o set_v apart_o to_o this_o office_n and_o work_v by_o fast_v and_o prayer_n and_o lay_v on_o of_o the_o hand_n of_o the_o presbytery_n to_o which_o god_n seem_v to_o set_v his_o seal_n both_o during_o the_o action_n by_o very_o gracious_a influence_n of_o his_o spirit_n upon_o his_o heart_n beyond_o his_o preparation_n for_o which_o he_o have_v record_v thanks_o to_o god_n and_o on_o the_o lord_n day_n follow_v viz._n feb._n 17._o when_o be_v desire_v to_o preach_v at_o the_o charterhouse_n both_o part_n of_o the_o day_n in_o the_o afternoon_n one_o put_v up_o a_o bill_n to_o he_o wherein_o the_o person_n that_o put_v it_o up_o acknowledge_v that_o he_o have_v long_o lie_v under_o the_o guilt_n of_o a_o know_a sin_n and_o be_v convince_v of_o it_o by_o the_o morning_n sermon_n and_o desire_a prayer_n to_o god_n for_o help_v against_o it_o other_o also_o in_o that_o congregation_n he_o observe_v to_o be_v affect_v at_o that_o his_o first_o sermon_n after_o his_o ordination_n in_o his_o return_v from_o london_n to_o cambridge_n upon_o the_o way_n he_o experience_v a_o very_a good_a providence_n with_o which_o his_o heart_n be_v much_o affect_v and_o which_o he_o thankful_o record_v as_o a_o instance_n of_o god_n special_a care_n of_o he_o the_o night_n overtake_v he_o ere_o he_o can_v reach_v to_o haste_v mill_n where_o the_o water_n be_v very_o high_a by_o reason_n of_o a_o flood_n just_a as_o he_o come_v almost_o to_o the_o water_n a_o man_n meet_v he_o who_o know_v the_o danger_n of_o the_o water_n and_o the_o safe_a passage_n through_o it_o offer_v he_o his_o service_n and_o very_o kind_o lend_v he_o his_o own_o tall_a and_o strong_a horse_n and_o ride_v back_o again_o on_o his_o horse_n before_o he_o lead_v he_o safe_o through_o which_o else_o he_o perceive_v he_o can_v not_o have_v pass_v without_o the_o hazard_n of_o his_o life_n be_v now_o return_v to_o cambridge_n to_o the_o charge_n he_o have_v undertake_v with_o what_o conscience_n faithfulness_n zeal_n and_o industry_n he_o apply_v himself_o to_o the_o work_n to_o which_o he_o have_v devote_v himself_o and_o be_v now_o solemn_o set_v apart_o i_o leave_v to_o the_o pious_a reader_n to_o judge_v by_o what_o follow_v in_o his_o own_o word_n july_n 7_o the_o 1656._o i_o set_v apart_o that_o day_n for_o fast_v and_o prayer_n to_o seek_v the_o lord_n for_o counsel_n whether_o i_o shall_v
suffer_v great_a persecution_n 2._o god_n can_v if_o he_o will_v hide_v i_o from_o the_o strife_n of_o tongue_n yea_o he_o promise_v to_o do_v so_o for_o they_o that_o trust_v in_o he_o psal_n 31._o 19_o 20._o he_o can_v make_v a_o man_n enemy_n to_o be_v at_o peace_n with_o he_o and_o will_v if_o our_o way_n please_v he_o prov._n 16._o 7._o however_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v solicitous_a of_o man_n judgement_n in_o this_o matter_n but_o commit_v my_o way_n and_o cause_n to_o the_o lord_n and_o if_o i_o be_v reproach_v he_o will_v one_o day_n clear_v i_o ps_n 37._o 5_o 6._o 3._o if_o i_o do_v meet_v with_o shame_n and_o reproach_n for_o my_o diligence_n in_o preach_v the_o word_n it_o be_v no_o more_o than_o the_o apostle_n meet_v with_o 1_o cor._n 4._o 9_o 10_o 13._o yea_o ay_o christ_n suffer_v great_a contradiction_n in_o his_o preach_v they_o say_v he_o be_v mad_a and_o have_v a_o devil_n and_o i_o be_o bid_v to_o remember_v it_o as_o that_o which_o will_v keep_v i_o from_o faint_a heb._n 12._o 3._o 4._o if_o i_o serve_v christ_n the_o lord_n will_v honour_v i_o and_o that_o be_v infinite_o above_o the_o honour_n of_o the_o world_n joh._n 12._o 26._o i_o shall_v desire_v therefore_o to_o seek_v the_o praise_n that_o be_v of_o god_n and_o no_o matter_n what_o man_n say_v 5._o it_o will_v be_v my_o happiness_n if_o i_o be_v reproach_v for_o christ_n sake_n 1_o pet._n 4._o 14._o and_o i_o shall_v be_v so_o far_o from_o be_v trouble_v discourage_v and_o deject_v at_o it_o that_o i_o shall_v rejoice_v exceed_o that_o god_n count_v i_o worthy_a to_o partake_v of_o the_o suffering_n of_o christ_n v_o 13._o 6._o the_o thought_n of_o that_o glory_n that_o shall_v be_v reveal_v hereafter_o 1_o pet._n 5._o 4._o shall_v cause_v i_o to_o despise_v the_o shame_n which_o i_o meet_v with_o here_o in_o the_o service_n of_o god_n heb._n 12._o 2._o 2_o d._n discouragement_n it_o may_v be_v the_o people_n will_v slight_v the_o word_n i_o shall_v have_v but_o few_o hearer_n the_o word_n grow_v common_a will_v be_v nauseated_a etc._n etc._n reply_v 1_o the_o heart_n of_o all_o man_n be_v in_o god_n hand_n if_o he_o touch_v their_o heart_n they_o shall_v come_v 1_o sam._n 10._o 26._o i_o will_v leave_v that_o to_o the_o lord_n whether_o he_o will_v incline_v many_o or_o but_o few_o to_o attend_v upon_o his_o word_n 2._o the_o angel_n those_o glorious_a creature_n do_v not_o disdain_v to_o preach_v christ_n to_o a_o few_o poor_a shepherd_n and_o therefore_o i_o shall_v not_o think_v much_o to_o preach_v christ_n though_o to_o never_o such_o a_o thin_a congregation_n jesus_n christ_n himself_o preach_v the_o gospel_n to_o one_o hearer_n only_o and_o that_o a_o poor_a sinful_a woman_n of_o samaria_n joh._n 4._o 3._o god_n presence_n be_v not_o tie_v to_o a_o multitude_n if_o but_o two_o or_o three_o be_v gather_v together_o in_o his_o name_n he_o be_v in_o the_o midst_n of_o they_o and_o if_o god_n will_v bless_v his_o word_n for_o the_o conversion_n of_o but_o one_o soul_n it_o be_v worth_a all_o our_o labour_n and_o pain_n mark_n 8._o 37._o jam._n 5._o 19_o 20._o 4._o i_o shall_v desire_v to_o do_v my_o work_n to_o god_n and_o not_o to_o man_n because_o god_n command_v i_o though_o man_n may_v slight_v my_o pain_n and_o do_v not_o gather_v together_o to_o hear_v the_o word_n yet_o my_o work_n be_v before_o the_o lord_n and_o my_o reward_n with_o he_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v glorious_a in_o his_o eye_n however_o i_o appear_v before_o man_n isa_n 49._o 5._o however_o man_n reckon_v of_o my_o labour_n though_o the_o more_o i_o love_v they_o and_o labour_v for_o they_o the_o less_o i_o belove_v yet_o this_o shall_v not_o be_v any_o hindrance_n to_o i_o in_o the_o work_n of_o god_n but_o i_o shall_v glad_o spend_v myself_o and_o be_v spend_v therein_o 2_o cor._n 12._o 13._o have_v consult_v god_n and_o see_v such_o good_a ground_n for_o my_o undertake_n i_o set_v up_o a_o lecture_n once_o a_o fortnight_n on_o thursday_n in_o the_o afternoon_n at_o three_o of_o the_o clock_n i_o begin_v it_o on_o the_o first_o thursday_n in_o june_n 1657._o with_o such_o mature_a deliberation_n such_o a_o resolve_a conscience_n such_o a_o willing_a mind_n such_o a_o zealous_a spirit_n such_o a_o laborious_a head_n and_o hand_n do_v this_o worthy_a servant_n of_o god_n apply_v himself_o to_o the_o great_a work_n wherein_o he_o be_v engage_v thus_o do_v he_o fortify_v his_o heart_n with_o strong_a argument_n against_o all_o temptation_n to_o sloth_n and_o negligence_n thus_o search_v he_o the_o scripture_n that_o he_o may_v full_o know_v his_o lord_n will_n thus_o yield_v he_o obedience_n to_o the_o command_n and_o act_v faith_n in_o the_o promise_n of_o god_n in_o this_o his_o might_n he_o go_v forth_o in_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n to_o the_o work_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o the_o pleasure_n of_o the_o lord_n do_v prosper_v in_o his_o hand_n though_o his_o constant_a weekly_a work_n at_o st._n andrews_n church_n be_v enough_o to_o exercise_v more_o than_o ordinary_a strength_n both_o of_o mind_n and_o body_n yet_o he_o have_v many_o other_o occasion_n of_o service_n which_o he_o attend_v not_o only_o in_o the_o college_n as_o his_o place_n require_v especial_o as_o a_o tutor_n which_o relation_n and_o trust_n he_o diligent_o and_o faithful_o discharge_v towards_o his_o pupil_n both_o as_o to_o learning_n and_o religion_n but_o in_o the_o town_n as_o preach_v frequent_o funeral_n sermon_n and_o trinity_n lecture_n and_o in_o the_o country_n also_o at_o several_a lecture_n both_o in_o cambridgeshire_n and_o huntingdonshire_n for_o his_o ability_n and_o willingness_n be_v so_o well_o know_v as_o encourage_v many_o invitation_n to_o be_v make_v to_o he_o from_o abroad_o all_o which_o he_o perform_v not_o after_o a_o extemporary_a rate_n as_o the_o manner_n of_o some_o be_v hasty_o to_o utter_v quicquid_fw-la in_o buccam_fw-la venerit_fw-la but_o as_o a_o workman_n that_o need_v not_o to_o be_v ashamed_a on_o which_o account_n the_o ear_n of_o so_o many_o hang_v upon_o he_o and_o he_o never_o want_v a_o full_a auditory_a as_o well_o of_o scholar_n as_o town-people_n his_o sermon_n be_v well_o study_v and_o digest_v his_o matter_n substantial_a and_o spiritual_a his_o argument_n strong_a and_o convince_a his_o utterance_n full_a clear_a deliberate_a and_o grave_n his_o word_n apt_a and_o natural_a to_o express_v the_o conception_n of_o his_o mind_n he_o neither_o affect_v a_o strain_n of_o word_n which_o man_n wisdom_n teach_v nor_o allow_v himself_o a_o liberty_n of_o word_n which_o man_n indiscretion_n pour_v out_o but_o his_o phrase_n be_v such_o as_o speak_v he_o to_o have_v a_o holy_a reverence_n for_o the_o plainness_n and_o simplicity_n of_o the_o gospel_n of_o christ_n a_o due_a care_n that_o he_o expose_v not_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o word_n to_o contempt_n a_o religious_a fear_n of_o that_o god_n in_o who_o name_n he_o speak_v and_o a_o serious_a regard_n to_o the_o concernment_n of_o the_o soul_n of_o man_n and_o in_o all_o his_o application_n to_o god_n by_o prayer_n both_o in_o public_a and_o private_a his_o behaviour_n word_n and_o manner_n of_o utterance_n be_v such_o as_o speak_v his_o solemn_a and_o affect_v apprehension_n of_o the_o majesty_n and_o holiness_n of_o god_n who_o he_o worship_v so_o as_o consider_v his_o year_n the_o multiplicity_n of_o his_o ministerial_a work_n his_o manner_n of_o perform_v it_o and_o the_o holiness_n of_o his_o life_n wherewith_o he_o do_v adorn_v and_o commend_v it_o it_o may_v be_v true_o say_v of_o he_o that_o however_o he_o be_v excel_v by_o other_o in_o other_o respect_n yet_o in_o this_o he_o be_v nulli_fw-la secundus_fw-la if_o not_o a_o none_o such_o in_o the_o university_n in_o his_o day_n but_o cambridge_n be_v not_o a_o place_n for_o long_a continuance_n the_o university_n be_v the_o church_n nursery_n from_o whence_o god_n be_v wont_a to_o remove_v and_o transplant_v his_o tree_n of_o righteousness_n when_o once_o grow_v up_o to_o the_o stature_n of_o fruit-bearing_a that_o the_o various_a congregation_n of_o his_o people_n may_v eat_v of_o the_o fruit_n thereof_o and_o live_v god_n have_v here_o train_v up_o his_o servant_n to_o his_o hand_n instruct_v he_o with_o excellent_a gift_n and_o abundant_a grace_n call_v he_o solemn_o to_o the_o office_n of_o the_o ministry_n prove_v he_o a_o able_a and_o successful_a instrument_n before_o many_o witness_n and_o enlarge_v his_o heart_n not_o only_o to_o a_o willingness_n but_o zeal_n to_o discharge_v his_o office_n with_o all_o his_o might_n quick_o show_v he_o the_o place_n where_o with_o this_o resolve_a industry_n and_o integrity_n he_o shall_v improve_v his_o talent_n scarce_o two_o month_n be_v
be_v so_o suit_v to_o some_o reason_n and_o doubt_n that_o i_o have_v upon_o my_o mind_n and_o come_v so_o seasonable_o at_o my_o first_o fix_v at_o chattisham_n i_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o it_o and_o look_v upon_o it_o as_o a_o token_n for_o good_a that_o i_o shall_v have_v god_n presence_n with_o i_o and_o the_o teach_n of_o his_o spirit_n at_o chattisham_n as_o i_o have_v have_v they_o at_o colchester_n the_o encouragement_n which_o he_o thus_o take_v be_v not_o vain_a and_o empty_a god_n remember_v his_o word_n unto_o his_o servant_n wherein_o he_o have_v cause_v he_o to_o hope_v for_o he_o not_o only_o incline_v the_o heart_n of_o the_o people_n among_o who_o he_o live_v though_o stranger_n to_o he_o to_o pay_v he_o that_o respect_n and_o honour_n which_o be_v due_a to_o he_o and_o indulge_v he_o the_o liberty_n of_o private_a preach_v as_o he_o have_v before_o enjoy_v but_o moreover_o open_v to_o he_o in_o this_o place_n a_o door_n for_o the_o frequent_a public_a exercise_n of_o his_o ministry_n which_o be_v shut_v against_o he_o at_o colchester_n the_o minister_n of_o the_o parish_n have_v another_o cure_n by_o reason_n whereof_o he_o can_v attend_v this_o at_o chattisham_n but_o once_o a_o fortnight_n do_v in_o his_o absence_n not_o only_o willing_o but_o thankful_o indulge_v to_o mr._n stockton_n the_o liberty_n of_o his_o pulpit_n and_o have_v a_o very_a small_a maintenance_n and_o some_o burden_n lie_v heavy_a upon_o he_o which_o after_o a_o few_o year_n make_v his_o residence_n there_o very_o uneasy_a to_o he_o he_o desert_v his_o charge_n and_o leave_v this_o flock_n to_o shift_v for_o themselves_o whereupon_o at_o the_o request_n of_o the_o people_n mr._n stockton_n frequent_o supply_v that_o vacancy_n and_o his_o zeal_n provoke_v and_o encourage_v other_o also_o both_o minister_n and_o people_n for_o other_o neighbour_a parish_n be_v destitute_a of_o minister_n for_o want_v of_o maintenance_n call_v in_o the_o help_n of_o nonconformist_n who_o in_o these_o place_n so_o much_o below_o envye_a have_v enjoy_v the_o liberty_n of_o their_o public_a preach_v for_o the_o most_o part_n to_o this_o day_n so_o as_o not_o only_o the_o parish_n where_o he_o live_v but_o the_o neighbour_a vllage_n have_v abundant_a cause_n to_o bless_v god_n for_o send_v to_o they_o so_o happy_a a_o instrument_n so_o willing_a and_o zealous_a so_o able_a and_o industrious_a to_o serve_v their_o soul_n in_o the_o gospel_n of_o christ_n when_o it_o please_v his_o majesty_n to_o set_v forth_o his_o most_o gracious_a declaration_n for_o indulgence_n he_o be_v choose_v both_o by_o a_o congregation_n in_o ipswhich_n and_o another_o in_o colchester_n to_o preach_v to_o they_o and_o both_o be_v very_o desirous_a of_o he_o he_o comply_v with_o their_o desire_n as_o far_o as_o he_o can_v and_o undertake_v half_o the_o service_n of_o either_o and_o so_o with_o other_o divide_v his_o labour_n between_o they_o during_o his_o life_n to_o their_o great_a satisfaction_n and_o edification_n his_o labour_n be_v abundant_a his_o ministry_n be_v his_o whole_a business_n beside_o his_o lord_n day_n service_n wherein_o he_o not_o only_o preach_v twice_o but_o oft_o expound_v the_o scripture_n and_o catechise_v the_o young_a sort_n and_o many_o time_n discourse_v particular_a christian_n that_o apply_v themselves_o to_o he_o for_o counsel_n and_o instruction_n about_o their_o spiritual_a case_n he_o moreover_o preach_v a_o lecture_n at_o ipswich_n on_o the_o weekday_n once_o a_o fortnight_n and_o scarce_o a_o week_n pass_v but_o he_o preach_v at_o some_o other_o lecture_n or_o funeral_n beside_o keep_v of_o private_a fast_n which_o he_o frequent_o practise_v both_o at_o home_n and_o abroad_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n over_o he_o while_o he_o be_v thus_o zealous_o and_o constant_o employ_v in_o his_o work_n in_o so_o many_o place_n be_v so_o remarkable_a that_o it_o must_v not_o be_v pass_v over_o without_o special_a observation_n notwithstanding_o the_o severity_n of_o the_o law_n the_o malice_n watchfulness_n and_o endeavour_n of_o adversary_n yet_o god_n suffer_v not_o a_o hair_n to_o fall_v from_o his_o head_n though_o complaint_n information_n indictment_n conviction_n warrant_v presentment_n excommunication_n be_v make_v against_o he_o yet_o be_v he_o never_o imprison_v apprehend_v distrain_v or_o bring_v before_o any_o court_n or_o magistrate_n he_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o this_o care_n of_o god_n over_o he_o and_o thankful_o accept_v and_o record_v it_o as_o the_o instance_n of_o god_n faithfulness_n and_o performance_n of_o his_o promise_n as_o the_o answer_n of_o his_o own_o faith_n and_o prayer_n and_o as_o the_o reward_n of_o his_o love_n and_o zeal_n and_o courage_n for_o god_n and_o his_o church_n by_o the_o power_n whereof_o he_o live_v above_o fear_n and_o danger_n for_o thus_o he_o write_v apr._n 16._o 1655._o be_v lord_n day_n in_o the_o morning_n i_o awake_v with_o that_o scripture_n in_o my_o thought_n 1_o tim._n 1._o 15._o i_o dwell_v a_o while_n upon_o it_o and_o draw_v comfort_n and_o relief_n for_o my_o faith_n by_o the_o help_n of_o god_n i_o have_v be_v before_o under_o a_o great_a sense_n of_o the_o sinfulness_n of_o my_o heart_n the_o comfort_n i_o have_v be_v that_o christ_n come_v to_o save_v the_o chief_a of_o sinner_n that_o this_o be_v a_o faithful_a say_n that_o it_o be_v worthy_a all_o acceptation_n or_o to_o be_v embrace_v by_o every_o one_o and_o that_o this_o salvation_n be_v from_o sin_n as_o well_o as_o from_o hell_n math._n 1._o 21._o consider_v whether_o he_o will_v save_v i_o as_o i_o be_v go_v to_o wash_v in_o the_o morning_n i_o be_v satisfy_v from_o joh._n 6._o 37._o he_o that_o come_v to_o i_o i_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v out_o it_o be_v then_o a_o time_n of_o danger_n as_o to_o the_o keep_n of_o my_o meeting_n because_o many_o soldier_n be_v in_o town_n i_o be_v dubious_a whether_o i_o shall_v admit_v the_o people_n to_o come_v to_o my_o house_n when_o i_o consider_v that_o christ_n take_v it_o as_o a_o act_n of_o love_n to_o feed_v his_o sheep_n joh._n 21._o 15._o and_o that_o he_o expose_v himself_o to_o death_n to_o save_v i_o and_o bring_v under_o a_o sense_n of_o the_o comfort_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o in_o the_o morning_n in_o my_o meditation_n on_o the_o 1_o tim._n 1._o 15._o i_o be_v willing_a to_o adventure_v myself_o on_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n sept._n 19_o as_o i_o be_v expound_v in_o my_o family_n the_o 91_o psalm_n on_o a_o day_n of_o humiliation_n i_o be_v much_o encourage_v to_o go_v on_o in_o my_o call_v notwithstanding_o the_o difficulty_n that_o attend_v the_o same_o by_o reason_n of_o many_o adversary_n from_o v_o 11_o 12_o 13._o though_o the_o adversary_n to_o private_a meeting_n and_o the_o preach_a of_o nonconformist_n be_v of_o several_a sort_n as_o strong_a as_o lion_n as_o full_a of_o venom_n as_o the_o dragon_n such_o as_o be_v greedy_a of_o and_o roar_v after_o the_o prey_n like_o the_o young_a lion_n as_o subtle_a and_o pertinacious_a and_o obstinate_a in_o their_o way_n as_o the_o adder_n of_o which_o see_v ps_n 58._o 4_o 5._o yet_o the_o angel_n have_v a_o charge_n to_o keep_v we_o in_o all_o our_o way_n and_o the_o promise_n be_v that_o we_o shall_v trample_v these_o under_o our_o foot_n this_o promise_n give_v i_o courage_n whilst_o at_o colchester_n and_o i_o see_v it_o make_v good_a for_o i_o go_v on_o in_o my_o call_v and_o have_v no_o harm_n from_o they_o i_o observe_v also_o in_o read_v dan._n 6._o 23._o the_o power_n of_o faith_n to_o deliver_v out_o of_o great_a and_o imminent_a danger_n daniel_n be_v cast_v into_o a_o den_n of_o hungry_a lion_n yet_o no_o manner_n of_o hurt_n be_v find_v upon_o he_o because_o he_o believe_v in_o his_o god_n sept._n 22._o in_o my_o family_n exercise_v as_o i_o be_v read_v ps_n 146._o 9_o the_o lord_n preserve_v the_o stranger_n my_o faith_n receive_v strength_n i_o enjoy_v much_o peace_n and_o security_n in_o colchester_n i_o have_v meet_v with_o no_o molestation_n either_o from_o the_o town_n or_o county_n but_o be_v come_v into_o a_o strange_a place_n where_o i_o be_v not_o know_v and_o have_v no_o friend_n to_o shelter_v or_o speak_v for_o i_o i_o apprehend_v myself_o to_o walk_v in_o more_o danger_n than_o before_o this_o word_n the_o lord_n preserve_v the_o stranger_n do_v help_v my_o dependence_n upon_o god_n oct._n 28_o 1666._o be_v sabbath_n day_n i_o go_v forth_o to_o preach_v at_o manitree_n in_o the_o morning_n before_o i_o go_v the_o lord_n give_v in_o that_o promise_n isa_n 55._o 12._o you_o shall_v be_v lead_v forth_o with_o peace_n it_o be_v a_o time_n of_o trouble_n and_o danger_n for_o nonconformist_n to_o preach_v public_o the_o promise_n be_v the_o
witness_n to_o he_o the_o widow_n the_o fatherless_a the_o stranger_n the_o sick_a the_o sufferer_n have_v all_o be_v refresh_v from_o his_o compassion_n though_o he_o offer_v to_o preach_v free_o at_o st_n james_n church_n in_o colchester_n on_o lord_n day_n morning_n as_o have_v be_v before_o mention_v not_o desire_v or_o expect_v any_o reward_n yet_o the_o civility_n of_o the_o people_n do_v gratify_v he_o for_o his_o pain_n the_o great_a part_n of_o which_o i_o be_o assure_v from_o a_o hand_n privy_a to_o it_o he_o distribute_v to_o charitable_a use_n and_o this_o i_o read_v under_o his_o own_o hand_n nou._n 1._o 1665._o i_o make_v a_o vow_n to_o god_n to_o give_v he_o the_o ten_o of_o all_o that_o he_o shall_v give_v unto_o i_o the_o ensue_a year_n that_o which_o occasion_v i_o to_o vow_v this_o vow_n be_v the_o read_n gen._n 28._o which_o fall_v out_o that_o morning_n in_o my_o ordinary_a course_n where_o i_o observe_v that_o most_o of_o those_o blessing_n which_o jacob_n mention_n as_o his_o inducement_n to_o his_o vow_n god_n have_v give_v i_o he_o have_v vouchsafe_v i_o his_o presence_n he_o have_v gracious_o preserve_v and_o keep_v i_o from_o my_o enemy_n and_o the_o noisome_a pestilence_n he_o have_v give_v i_o bread_n and_o raiment_n i_o add_v pro._n 3._o 9_o honour_n the_o lord_n with_o thy_o substance_n and_o with_o the_o first_o fruit_n of_o all_o thy_o increase_n i_o considere_v also_o that_o what_o i_o give_v to_o god_n shall_v be_v fruit_n abound_v to_o my_o account_n phil._n 4._o 17._o math._n 25._o 34_o 35_o 36._o i_o consider_v which_o way_n i_o shall_v give_v it_o to_o god_n and_o i_o see_v from_o prov._n 19_o 17._o that_o what_o be_v give_v to_o the_o poor_a be_v give_v to_o god_n especial_o what_o be_v give_v to_o the_o poor_a saint_n and_o member_n of_o christ_n math._n 25._o 35_o 40._o and_o as_o to_o the_o suffer_a minister_n of_o christ_n i_o determine_v to_o bestow_v part_n of_o what_o i_o have_v dedicate_v to_o god_n on_o they_o and_o that_o though_o they_o be_v not_o bring_v to_o such_o extremity_n as_o not_o to_o know_v how_o to_o subsist_v i_o be_v move_v thereunto_o by_o phil._n 4._o 10_o 11_o 14_o 18._o the_o apostle_n paul_n be_v not_o in_o such_o want_n but_o that_o he_o know_v how_o to_o live_v comfortable_o and_o content_o yet_o he_o say_v the_o philippian_n do_v well_o in_o communicate_v with_o his_o affliction_n and_o tell_v they_o that_o their_o charity_n towards_o he_o be_v a_o odour_n of_o a_o sweet_a smell_n a_o sacrifice_n acceptable_a and_o well_o please_v to_o god_n towards_o the_o church_n of_o god_n in_o general_n his_o indefatigable_a labour_n in_o preach_v and_o write_v his_o frequent_a fast_n and_o humiliation_n his_o fervent_a and_o wrestle_a prayer_n for_o the_o peace_n of_o jerusalem_n his_o affectionate_a sympathize_v with_o she_o in_o her_o suffering_n be_v the_o undeniable_a testimony_n of_o his_o love_n his_o own_o liberality_n and_o stir_v up_o of_o other_o thereunto_o for_o the_o education_n of_o such_o poor_a scholar_n as_o be_v hopeful_a for_o the_o work_n of_o the_o ministry_n be_v the_o effect_n of_o the_o same_o principle_n to_o which_o must_v be_v add_v his_o last-will_a and_o testament_n wherein_o out_o of_o pure_a zeal_n and_o love_n to_o the_o service_n and_o enlargement_n of_o the_o church_n he_o have_v bequeath_v the_o great_a part_n of_o his_o well_o furnish_v library_n even_o the_o choice_a and_o most_o valuable_a of_o his_o book_n to_o gonvile_n and_o caius_n college_n in_o cambridge_n with_o five_o hundred_o pound_n to_o be_v lay_v out_o by_o his_o executrix_n in_o purchase_v a_o freehold_n estate_n or_o impropriation_n to_o be_v settle_v upon_o the_o say_a college_n for_o the_o maintenance_n of_o a_o scholar_n and_o fellow_n there_o successive_o for_o ever_o provide_v that_o such_o only_o be_v elect_v thereto_o as_o be_v poor_a or_o orphan_n or_o the_o son_n of_o poor_a minister_n of_o the_o best_a and_o most_o hopeful_a part_n oblige_v they_o to_o the_o study_n of_o divinity_n and_o the_o ministerial_a work_n take_v special_a care_n that_o such_o be_v well_o ground_v and_o establish_v in_o the_o orthodox_n faith_n the_o true_a reform_a protestant_a religion_n and_o in_o case_n any_o such_o elect_v shall_v become_v corrupt_a in_o doctrine_n or_o scandalous_a in_o life_n then_o after_o due_a admonition_n and_o non-reformation_n his_o place_n to_o be_v declare_v void_a and_o another_o to_o be_v choose_v in_o his_o stead_n and_o none_o to_o enjoy_v it_o long_o than_o twelve_o year_n beside_o which_o he_o have_v also_o bequeath_v in_o case_n his_o only_a daughter_n shall_v die_v before_o she_o shall_v accomplish_v the_o age_n of_o one_o and_o twenty_o year_n twenty_o pound_n per_fw-la annum_fw-la to_o be_v settle_v upon_o the_o college_n in_o new_a england_n for_o the_o education_n of_o a_o convert_v indian_a or_o any_o other_o that_o will_v learn_v the_o indian_a language_n to_o be_v a_o minister_n and_o go_v to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n to_o the_o poor_a indian_n nor_o be_v this_o the_o first_o expression_n of_o his_o pious_a regard_n to_o that_o remote_a part_n of_o the_o world_n for_o when_o he_o hear_v of_o that_o waste_a fire_n that_o lay_v so_o great_a a_o part_n of_o boston_n in_o n._n e._n in_o ash_n he_o send_v thither_o free_o to_o be_v distribute_v among_o the_o sufferer_n a_o considerable_a quantity_n of_o his_o book_n entitle_v counsel_n to_o the_o afflict_a which_o he_o have_v write_v upon_o the_o occasion_n of_o the_o burn_a of_o london_n beyond_o which_o he_o have_v also_o give_v twenty_o five_o pound_n to_o charitable_a use_n which_o beque_v he_o have_v make_v yet_o with_o all_o due_a respect_n to_o his_o family_n not_o in_o the_o least_o decline_v from_o the_o kindness_n of_o a_o husband_n or_o the_o tenderness_n of_o a_o father_n so_o order_v his_o charity_n to_o other_o as_o withal_o secure_v to_o his_o widow_n and_o fatherless_a child_n not_o only_o a_o necessary_a and_o competent_a but_o even_o a_o liberal_a and_o plentiful_a subsistence_n reserve_v to_o they_o the_o rent_n of_o what_o he_o have_v bequeath_v to_o the_o college_n during_o their_o natural_a life_n hitherto_o the_o reader_n have_v have_v a_o account_n of_o this_o eminent_a saint_n give_v he_o for_o the_o most_o part_n from_o those_o act_n and_o exercise_n of_o his_o life_n by_o which_o he_o be_v visible_a to_o the_o discern_a and_o judicious_a eye_n of_o those_o that_o know_v he_o we_o shall_v now_o proceed_v to_o give_v a_o further_a account_n of_o those_o his_o own_o observation_n and_o experience_n of_o himself_o through_o which_o we_o may_v look_v into_o the_o very_a frame_n and_o temper_n the_o thought_n and_o affection_n of_o his_o heart_n some_o of_o which_o he_o have_v thus_o record_v his_o observation_n and_o experience_n jan._n 10._o 1653._o in_o read_v of_o calvin_n institution_n i_o meet_v with_o that_o place_n in_o isa_n 44._o 3._o upon_o the_o read_n whereof_o have_v be_v the_o the_o night_n before_o under_o conviction_n of_o the_o emptiness_n and_o barrenness_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o some_o despondency_n of_o spirit_n thereupon_o i_o conceive_v some_o hope_n and_o find_v my_o soul_n lift_v up_o towards_o god_n to_o wait_v for_o and_o expect_v the_o shed_v abroad_o of_o his_o spirit_n in_o my_o soul_n see_v he_o have_v say_v he_o will_v pour_v it_o out_o upon_o the_o dry_a ground_n but_o alas_o the_o lively_a sense_n of_o this_o be_v but_o momentany_a it_o be_v soon_o go_v and_o my_o old_a deadness_n of_o heart_n return_v upon_o i_o hence_o i_o observe_v that_o it_o be_v of_o singular_a use_n both_o for_o the_o establishment_n of_o true_a and_o discern_v of_o false_a comfort_n to_o see_v upon_o what_o ground_n our_o soul_n take_v in_o and_o upon_o what_o ground_n they_o let_v go_v their_o comfort_n the_o let_v go_v of_o our_o comfort_n ofttimes_o proceed_v from_o our_o let_n go_v of_o the_o promise_n when_o satan_n can_v prevail_v to_o beat_v we_o off_o from_o the_o promise_n he_o will_v quick_o rob_v we_o of_o our_o comfort_n i_o find_v that_o at_o several_a time_n i_o have_v be_v keep_v under_o doubt_n and_o fear_n and_o jealousy_n and_o yet_o have_v have_v no_o scripture_n ground_n for_o they_o so_o that_o i_o perceive_v they_o proceedeâ—_n from_o satan_n darken_n my_o heart_n and_o keep_v i_o in_o unbelief_n and_o trouble_v of_o spirit_n feb._n 16._o my_o soul_n be_v deject_v because_o after_o long_o wâ—iting_v upon_o god_n for_o the_o fulfil_n of_o his_o covenant_n in_o give_v his_o spirit_n and_o carry_v on_o the_o work_n of_o faith_n and_o sanctification_n with_o power_n it_o have_v find_v no_o sensible_a incomes_a when_o i_o be_v read_v the_o scripture_n according_a to_o my_o usual_a custom_n the_o lord_n do_v rebuke_v the_o despondency_n of_o
my_o spirit_n from_o those_o word_n of_o the_o prophet_n isa_n 40._o 27._o why_o say_v thou_o o_o jacob_n and_o speak_v o_o israel_n my_o way_n be_v hide_v from_o the_o lord_n and_o my_o judgement_n be_v pass_v over_o from_o my_o god_n and_o do_v encourage_v my_o soul_n still_o to_o hope_v in_o god_n and_o wait_v for_o his_o strength_n from_o the_o follow_a word_n v_o 28_o 29._o 31._o have_v thou_o not_o know_v have_v thou_o not_o hear_v if_o thou_o have_v not_o know_v it_o by_o experience_n have_v find_v his_o everlasting_a arm_n under_o thou_o for_o thy_o support_n yet_o have_v thou_o not_o at_o least_o hear_v it_o that_o the_o everlasting_a god_n the_o lord_n the_o creator_n of_o the_o end_n of_o the_o earth_n faint_v not_o neither_o be_v weary_a he_o give_v power_n to_o the_o faint_a etc._n etc._n continue_v thou_o therefore_o o_o my_o soul_n to_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n lord_n what_o a_o accurse_a hard_a heart_n have_v i_o that_o sin_n which_o grieve_v thou_o gen._n 6._o 6._o thy_n son_n mar._n 3._o 5._o thy_o spirit_n eph._n 4._o 30._o shall_v not_o grieve_v i_o that_o sin_n which_o weary_v thou_o isa_n 43._o 24._o shall_v not_o be_v a_o burden_n to_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v trouble_v for_o want_v of_o thy_o presence_n when_o as_o the_o hide_v of_o thy_o face_n make_v our_o saviour_n cry_v out_o my_o god_n my_o god_n why_o have_v thou_o forsake_v i_o that_o eternity_n and_o judgement_n to_o come_v shall_v make_v no_o impression_n upon_o i_o that_o i_o can_v hear_v yea_o speak_v of_o thy_o word_n thy_o wrath_n etc._n etc._n and_o yet_o not_o fear_v thou_o not_o tremble_v at_o thy_o word_n nor_o at_o this_o my_o condition_n feb._n 19_o be_v sabbath_n day_n have_v former_o perceive_v a_o desperate_a hardness_n in_o my_o heart_n that_o that_o word_n which_o work_v upon_o other_o shall_v do_v i_o no_o good_a that_o no_o mean_n no_o mercy_n do_v melt_v my_o soul_n and_o almost_o despair_v of_o ever_o have_v it_o soften_v after_o prayer_n i_o be_v encourage_v from_o the_o lord_n in_o read_v mr._n hooker_n upon_o act._n 2._o 37._o who_o from_o those_o word_n when_o they_o hear_v these_o thing_n they_o who_o have_v crucify_a our_o lord_n christ_n be_v prick_v at_o the_o heart_n raise_v this_o observation_n it_o be_v possible_a even_o for_o the_o most_o stubborn_a sinner_n to_o get_v a_o break_a heart_n and_o now_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o be_v thou_o cast_v down_o be_v not_o the_o lord_n great_a than_o thy_o heart_n can_v satan_n be_v more_o malicious_a to_o destroy_v thou_o than_o the_o lord_n be_v merciful_a to_o save_v thou_o yet_o the_o act_n of_o my_o faith_n hereupon_o be_v but_o faint_a upon_o examination_n of_o myself_o i_o have_v sometime_o find_v that_o to_o my_o own_o sense_n and_o feeling_n i_o have_v be_v altogether_o void_a of_o any_o love_n or_o fear_v of_o god_n and_o that_o i_o have_v be_v at_o such_o a_o time_n as_o unable_a to_o work_v up_o my_o heart_n into_o the_o love_n and_o fear_n of_o god_n as_o to_o say_v to_o this_o mountain_n be_v thou_o remove_v and_o cast_v into_o the_o sea_n such_o wonderful_a deadness_n have_v seize_v upon_o my_o soul_n so_o great_o have_v i_o be_v enslave_v and_o hold_v captive_a by_o satan_n that_o i_o have_v not_o be_v able_a true_o to_o desire_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n o_o that_o my_o heart_n can_v bleed_v at_o the_o remembrance_n of_o this_o great_a evil_n that_o i_o shall_v not_o only_o be_v cut_v off_o from_o communion_n with_o god_n but_o be_v content_v with_o this_o condition_n that_o i_o shall_v have_v no_o groan_n in_o spirit_n to_o be_v deliver_v from_o this_o miserable_a bondage_n be_v instruct_v hence_o o_o my_o soul_n to_o ascribe_v every_o good_a motion_n to_o god_n if_o thou_o feel_v any_o hungring_n after_o jesus_n christ_n or_o any_o sorrow_n for_o want_n of_o god_n presence_n or_o the_o like_a own_o it_o as_o his_o work_n and_o bless_v he_o for_o it_o i_o have_v sometime_o find_v my_o condition_n much_o like_o the_o man_n mention_v joh._n 5._o who_o lay_v a_o long_a time_n by_o the_o pool_n of_o bethesda_n but_o be_v not_o able_a to_o put_v himself_o in_o that_o he_o may_v be_v heal_v even_o so_o it_o be_v with_o my_o soul_n though_o god_n have_v open_v a_o fountain_n for_o sin_n and_o for_o uncleanness_n to_o wash_v in_o and_o i_o find_v my_o soul_n exceed_o pollute_v yet_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o step_v into_o this_o fountain_n that_o i_o may_v be_v heal_v o_o my_o soul_n the_o lord_n see_v thy_o weakness_n and_o that_o thou_o have_v be_v now_o a_o long_a time_n in_o this_o case_n wait_v thou_o on_o god_n who_o can_v tell_v but_o that_o as_o the_o bowel_n of_o jesus_n christ_n do_v yearn_v towards_o the_o poor_a man_n so_o may_v his_o compassion_n be_v great_a towards_o thou_o and_o he_o may_v heal_v thou_o also_o cease_v not_o to_o importune_v he_o say_v jesus_n thou_o son_n of_o god_n have_v mercy_n on_o i_o o_o lord_n heal_v my_o soul_n have_v at_o several_a time_n find_v diverse_a work_n upon_o my_o heart_n as_o conviction_n and_o thereupon_o some_o pant_n and_o breathe_n after_o god_n but_o as_o yet_o nothing_o come_v to_o perfection_n i_o think_v of_o and_o find_v that_o i_o have_v cause_n to_o take_v up_o the_o complaint_n of_o hezekiah_n in_o another_o case_n it_o be_v a_o day_n of_o trouble_n and_o rebuke_v the_o child_n be_v come_v to_o the_o birth_n and_o there_o be_v no_o strength_n to_o bring_v forth_o isa_n 37._o 3._o some_o time_n after_o read_v isa_n 66._o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o that_o word_n v._n 9_o be_v suit_v to_o my_o case_n shall_v i_o bring_v to_o the_o birth_n and_o not_o cause_n to_o bring_v forth_o say_v the_o lord_n shall_v i_o cause_v to_o bring_v forth_o and_o shut_v the_o womb_n say_v thy_o god_n o_o my_o soul_n wait_v thou_o on_o god_n who_o will_v perfect_v his_o own_o work_n in_o thou_o he_o have_v say_v he_o will_v not_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n nor_o quench_v the_o smoke_a flax_n till_o he_o send_v forth_o judgement_n unto_o victory_n i_o have_v ofttimes_o see_v a_o law_n in_o my_o member_n war_a against_o the_o law_n of_o my_o mind_n and_o lead_v i_o into_o captivity_n to_o the_o law_n of_o sin_n and_o death_n so_o powerful_a and_o mighty_a have_v be_v the_o act_n of_o some_o inward_a corruption_n that_o i_o have_v not_o be_v able_a to_o overcome_v they_o but_o have_v be_v hurry_v captive_a by_o they_o hereby_o i_o come_v to_o see_v that_o truth_n the_o heart_n of_o man_n be_v desperate_o wicked_a who_o can_v know_v it_o i_o can_v fathom_v the_o depth_n of_o iniquity_n which_o be_v in_o my_o heart_n hereupon_o i_o be_o make_v to_o cry_v out_o with_o st._n paul_n o_o wretched_a man_n that_o i_o be_o who_o shall_v deliver_v i_o from_o this_o body_n of_o death_n o_o lord_n be_v not_o thou_o far_o from_o i_o but_o make_v haste_n to_o help_v i_o let_v the_o sigh_v of_o the_o prisoner_n come_v before_o thou_o proclaim_v liberty_n to_o thy_o captive_n and_o the_o open_n of_o the_o prison_n door_n to_o he_o that_o be_v bind_v with_o the_o chain_n of_o sin_n isa_n 61._o 1._o mar._n 26._o 1654._o i_o find_v that_o though_o in_o my_o judgement_n and_o profession_n i_o acknowledge_v christ_n to_o be_v my_o righteousness_n and_o peace_n yet_o upon_o examination_n i_o observe_v that_o my_o heart_n have_v do_v quite_o another_o thing_n and_o that_o secret_o i_o have_v go_v about_o to_o establish_v my_o own_o righteousness_n and_o have_v derive_v my_o comfort_n and_o peace_n from_o my_o own_o act_n for_o when_o i_o have_v be_v disquiet_v by_o the_o act_n of_o my_o sin_n that_o which_o have_v recover_v i_o to_o my_o former_a peace_n have_v not_o be_v that_o i_o can_v find_v god_n speak_v peace_n through_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n but_o rather_o from_o the_o intermission_n of_o temptation_n and_o the_o cessation_n of_o those_o sin_n when_o i_o have_v be_v trouble_v at_o a_o evil_a frame_n of_o heart_n i_o do_v not_o find_v that_o the_o righteousness_n of_o christ_n have_v be_v my_o consolation_n but_o that_o which_o have_v relieve_v i_o as_o far_o as_o i_o can_v find_v be_v that_o afterward_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o a_o better_a temper_n have_v be_v in_o trouble_n and_o perplexity_n i_o have_v read_v the_o scripture_n go_v to_o prayer_n and_o in_o do_v these_o i_o have_v be_v relieve_v yet_o i_o do_v not_o find_v that_o at_o such_o time_n i_o have_v real_a true_a live_a communion_n with_o god_n in_o such_o duty_n or_o that_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n do_v in_o those_o duty_n reveal_v to_o i_o my_o interest_n in_o christ_n and_o so_o quiet_a my_o conscience_n hence_o i_o come_v to_o see_v
but_o of_o god_n joh._n 1._o 13._o and_o that_o god_n give_v power_n to_o the_o faint_a and_o strength_n to_o they_o that_o have_v no_o might_n in_o a_o way_n of_o wait_a isa_n 40._o 29_o 31._o i_o see_v from_o these_o consideration_n further_a ground_n of_o hope_n and_o wait_v upon_o god_n notwithstanding_o i_o find_v my_o strength_n perish_v from_o i_o neither_o shall_v the_o guilt_n of_o my_o sin_n discourage_v i_o from_o wait_v on_o god_n from_o expect_v of_o his_o holy_a spirit_n from_o go_v to_o christ_n the_o whole_a need_v not_o a_o physician_n christ_n deal_v with_o sinner_n mar._n 2._o 17._o he_o have_v say_v he_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v out_o they_o that_o come_v to_z him_z joh._n 6._o 37._o why_o do_v he_o shed_v his_o blood_n to_o wash_v away_o our_o sin_n how_o be_v he_o the_o lamb_n of_o god_n that_o take_v away_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o world_n if_o he_o shall_v cast_v off_o guilty_a soul_n when_o they_o come_v unto_o he_o be_v there_o not_o a_o fountain_n open_v for_o sin_n and_o for_o uncleanness_n to_o wash_v in_o zach._n 13._o 1._o what_o though_o i_o be_v in_o my_o blood_n yet_o if_o i_o go_v to_o christ_n he_o will_v not_o loathe_v i_o ezek._n 16._o 6_o 8._o but_o will_v sprinkle_v clean_a water_n upon_o i_o and_o wash_v i_o from_o my_o filthiness_n ezek._n 36._o 25._o when_o therefore_o i_o find_v guilt_n upon_o i_o i_o will_v look_v to_o jesus_n christ_n in_o such_o promise_n as_o these_o isa_n 1._o 18._o 43._o 25_o 26._o 44._o 21_o 22._o i_o will_v cry_v unto_o he_o that_o i_o may_v have_v the_o pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n seal_v up_o to_o my_o soul_n in_o these_o promise_n by_o his_o holy_a spirit_n neither_o shall_v my_o rebellious_a heart_n the_o perverseness_n and_o corruption_n of_o my_o nature_n discourage_v i_o but_o i_o will_v with_o david_n beg_v a_o new_a heart_n and_o a_o right_a spirit_n ps_n 51._o 10._o i_o will_v say_v as_o ephraim_n jer._n 31._o 18._o turn_v thou_o i_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v turn_v god_n have_v send_v christ_n to_o bless_v we_o in_o turn_v we_o from_o our_o iniquity_n act._n 3._o 26._o and_o to_o destroy_v what_o satan_n have_v wrought_v in_o we_o 1._o joh._n 3._o 8._o therefore_o when_o i_o feel_v sin_n prevail_v and_o lead_v i_o captive_a i_o will_v with_o paul_n cry_v out_o of_o this_o body_n of_o death_n rom._n 7._o 24._o and_o go_v to_o god_n in_o jesus_n christ_n through_o such_o promise_n as_o these_o mic._n 7._o 18_o 19_o rom._n 6._o 14._o math._n 11._o 28._o isa_n 45._o 22._o jer._n 31._o 33._o ezek._n 36._o 26._o when_o i_o feel_v myself_o graceless_a i_o will_v look_v to_o he_o who_o be_v full_a of_o grace_n joh._n 1._o 14._o 16._o and_o have_v promise_v to_o give_v grace_n ps_n 84._o 11_o even_o a_o heart_n to_o love_v he_o deut._n 30._o 6._o and_o to_o put_v his_o fear_n into_o we_o jer._n 32._o 40._o and_o to_o withhold_v no_o good_a thing_n if_o we_o endeavour_v to_o walk_v upright_o before_o he_o ps_n 84._o 11._o when_o i_o find_v the_o plague_n of_o a_o hard_a dead_a heart_n upon_o i_o i_o will_v look_v unto_o the_o lord_n who_o quicken_v the_o dead_a rom._n 4._o 17._o and_o can_v raise_v child_n to_o abraham_n out_o of_o stone_n math._n 3._o 9_o i_o will_v look_v unto_o he_o in_o his_o covenant_n promise_v to_o take_v away_o the_o heart_n of_o stone_n and_o to_o give_v a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n ezek._n 36._o 26._o in_o time_n of_o desertion_n when_o god_n withdraw_v the_o comfortable_a influence_n of_o his_o presence_n i_o will_v not_o be_v discourage_v but_o i_o will_v search_v my_o heart_n and_o try_v my_o way_n and_o see_v what_o cause_n i_o have_v give_v the_o lord_n to_o depart_v from_o i_o lam._n 3._o 40._o josh_n 7._o 11._o 12_o 13._o isa_n 59_o 2._o i_o will_v earnest_o seek_v the_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v return_v and_o shine_v upon_o i_o and_o lift_v up_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n upon_o my_o soul_n ps_n 80._o 3._o 89._o 46._o hos_fw-la 5._o 15._o i_o will_v not_o only_o pray_v but_o wait_v for_o his_o return_n ps_n 130._o 5_o 6._o isa_n 8._o 17._o lam._n 3._o 2_o 3._o etc._n etc._n with_o 26._o and_o in_o wait_v i_o will_v look_v unto_o the_o lord_n in_o these_o or_o like_a promise_n ps_n 103._o 8_o 9_o isa_n 54._o 6_o 7_o 8._o 57_o 16_o 17_o 18._o lam._n 3._o 31_o 32._o hos_fw-la 6._o 1_o 2_o 3._o joh._n 14._o 18._o when_o i_o have_v neglect_v my_o watch_n and_o fall_v and_o be_v unsteadfast_a in_o covenant_n with_o god_n i_o will_v not_o despair_v but_o look_v to_o god_n in_o christ_n that_o he_o will_v pardon_v my_o sin_n grant_v i_o repentance_n and_o restore_v i_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n admit_v of_o repentance_n after_o sin_n levit._n 26._o 21._o 40._o 41_o 42._o yea_o god_n have_v exalt_v christ_n to_o give_v repentance_n act._n 5._o 31._o have_v promise_v to_o heal_v backslide_n hos_fw-la 14._o 4._o invite_v backslider_n to_o return_v jer._n 3._o 1_o 12_o 13_o 14._o how_o do_v david_n behave_v himself_o when_o iniquity_n prevail_v over_o he_o he_o go_v to_o god_n to_o purge_v away_o his_o transgression_n ps_n 65._o 3._o he_o make_v supplication_n to_o god_n that_o he_o will_v not_o cast_v he_o out_o of_o his_o presence_n ps_n 51._o 11._o he_o confess_v his_o sin_n and_o god_n pardon_v he_o ps_n 32._o 5._o which_o shall_v encourage_v all_o the_o godly_a when_o they_o have_v fall_v to_o return_v to_o the_o lord_n ver_fw-la 6._o st._n john_n lay_v strict_a charge_n upon_o believer_n that_o they_o sin_v not_o but_o in_o case_n of_o sin_n he_o will_v not_o have_v they_o despair_v 1_o joh._n 2._o 1_o 2._o solomon_n pray_v to_o this_o purpose_n 1_o king_n 8._o and_o god_n accept_v ch_n 9_o 3._o when_o therefore_o thou_o have_v fall_v o_o my_o soul_n by_o thy_o iniquity_n and_o god_n hide_v his_o face_n and_o withdraw_v his_o gracious_a presence_n let_v thy_o uncircumcised_a heart_n be_v humble_v accept_v of_o the_o punishment_n of_o thy_o sin_n turn_v unto_o the_o lord_n and_o and_o say_v take_v away_o all_o iniquity_n and_o receive_v i_o gracious_o so_o will_v i_o praise_v thou_o leu._n 26._o 41._o hos_fw-la 14._o 2._o let_v not_o thy_o fall_n cause_v thou_o to_o depart_v from_o the_o live_n god_n though_o thou_o have_v play_v the_o harlot_n with_o many_o lover_n yet_o the_o lord_n call_v thou_o to_o return_v jer._n 3._o 1._o god_n command_v we_o to_o forgive_v our_o brother_n seven_o time_n a_o day_n if_o he_o return_v and_o repent_v luk._n 17._o 4._o yea_o not_o only_o seven_o time_n but_o seventy_o time_n seven_o math._n 18._o 21_o 22._o and_o will_v not_o god_n much_o more_o forgive_v we_o though_o we_o fall_v oft_o if_o we_o return_v and_o seek_v his_o face_n see_v his_o way_n be_v far_o above_o our_o way_n isa_n 55._o 7_o 9_o dec._n 9_o 1655._o have_v find_v much_o formality_n in_o my_o duty_n on_o the_o sabbath_n and_o see_v myself_o lose_v in_o they_o i_o put_v the_o question_n to_o my_o soul_n what_o if_o thou_o die_v this_o night_n what_o be_v thy_o hope_n how_o will_v thou_o appear_v before_o god_n righteousness_n of_o thy_o own_o thou_o have_v none_o to_o trust_v to_o thou_o see_v how_o thou_o sin_v every_o day_n and_o how_o full_a of_o sin_n thy_o best_a duty_n be_v upon_o this_o enquiry_n the_o good_a spirit_n of_o god_n bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n 1_o cor._n 1._o 30._o god_n have_v make_v christ_n righteousness_n to_o we_o and_o jer._n 23._o 6._o this_o be_v the_o name_n by_o which_o he_o shall_v be_v call_v the_o lord_n our_o righteousness_n which_o be_v comfort_n to_o i_o and_o inquire_v what_o warrant_v i_o have_v to_o believe_v myself_o to_o be_v a_o sharer_n in_o this_o righteousness_n and_o that_o i_o stand_v accept_v of_o god_n by_o virtue_n of_o this_o righteousness_n i_o see_v from_o rom._n 3._o 21_o 22._o that_o this_o righteousness_n be_v upon_o all_o that_o believe_v now_o through_o the_o lord_n goodness_n and_o to_o his_o praise_n be_v it_o speak_v i_o have_v ofttimes_o find_v my_o heart_n not_o only_o to_o long_o after_o pardon_v and_o renovation_n but_o to_o trust_v in_o christ_n and_o in_o god_n through_o he_o for_o pardon_v mercy_n and_o renew_v grace_n and_o all_o other_o good_a thing_n dec._n 16._o i_o find_v the_o lord_n gracious_o present_a with_o i_o in_o my_o morning_n meditation_n on_o my_o bed_n and_o my_o soul_n be_v much_o refresh_v with_o mr._n simond_n sermon_n god_n speak_v a_o suitable_a word_n by_o he_o to_o my_o soul_n from_o mat._n 15._o 23._o but_o he_o answer_v she_o not_o a_o word_n god_n may_v sometime_o defer_v to_o give_v a_o answer_n to_o a_o gracious_a and_o well_o qualify_v prayer_n 1._o to_o correct_v our_o
deafness_n to_o his_o voice_n 2._o to_o put_v we_o upon_o more_o earnest_n seek_v of_o he_o 3._o to_o exercise_v and_o try_v our_o grace_n god_n proportion_n mercy_n according_a to_o his_o delay_n they_o be_v the_o great_a when_o give_v in_o sarah_n tarry_v long_o for_o a_o son_n and_o then_o have_v a_o isaac_n so_o do_v hanna_n but_o then_o have_v a_o samuel_n so_o elizabeth_n but_o then_o have_v a_o john_n my_o heart_n rejoice_v at_o this_o hope_v that_o god_n will_v give_v a_o high_a degree_n of_o brokenness_n of_o heart_n in_o his_o own_o due_a time_n though_o at_o present_a my_o heart_n be_v hard_o and_o i_o remember_v how_o hard_a mr._n bradfords_n heart_n be_v once_o as_o to_o his_o own_o sense_n and_o how_o eminent_a he_o be_v afterward_o for_o tenderness_n as_o m._n fox_n relate_v god_n be_v very_o good_a this_o day_n but_o oh_o how_o vile_a and_o sinful_a be_v i_o i_o feel_v a_o very_a proud_a vainglorious_a heart_n both_o in_o hear_v and_o after_o sermon_n be_v do_v but_o the_o lord_n chastise_v i_o for_o it_o for_o at_o night_n when_o i_o preach_v in_o the_o chapel_n the_o lord_n forsake_v i_o i_o find_v no_o assistance_n of_o his_o spirit_n either_o in_o prayer_n or_o preach_v but_o be_v much_o confound_v in_o both_o have_v little_a or_o no_o sense_n of_o the_o thing_n i_o speak_v of_o or_o pray_v for_o we_o read_v of_o naaman_n 2_o king_n 5._o 11._o that_o he_o expect_v a_o miraculous_a way_n of_o cure_n i_o think_v say_v he_o he_o will_v sure_o come_v out_o and_o stand_v and_o call_v on_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n his_o god_n and_o strike_v his_o hand_n over_o the_o place_n and_o recover_v the_o leper_n so_o have_v i_o find_v myself_o apt_a to_o expect_v that_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n shall_v mortify_v and_o subdue_v sin_n in_o i_o without_o my_o strive_v against_o it_o but_o i_o have_v learn_v it_o be_v the_o will_n of_o god_n that_o i_o shall_v strive_v against_o sin_n as_o well_o as_o pray_v and_o wait_v for_o his_o spirit_n god_n work_v in_o we_o to_o will_v and_o to_o do_v exclude_v not_o our_o endeavour_v phil._n 2._o 12_o 13._o have_v promise_n let_v we_o cleanse_v ourselves_o 2_o cor._n 7._o 1._o octob._n 17._o i_o be_v immoderate_a in_o the_o use_n of_o the_o creature_n and_o though_o check_v and_o reprove_v from_o within_o yet_o i_o persist_v at_o night_n when_o i_o walk_v in_o my_o chamber_n consider_v what_o i_o have_v do_v i_o be_v sad_a and_o say_v to_o god_n lord_n i_o have_v rebel_v against_o thou_o i_o have_v no_o soon_o say_v it_o in_o my_o heart_n but_o immediate_o that_o word_n be_v bring_v to_o i_o dan._n 9_o 9_o to_o the_o lord_n our_o god_n belong_v mercy_n and_o forgiveness_n he_o will_v forgive_v again_o and_o again_o though_o we_o have_v rebel_v against_o he_o o_o the_o wonderful_a goodness_n of_o god_n be_v amaze_v o_o my_o soul_n at_o this_o love_n now_o i_o see_v the_o promise_n isa_n 65._o 24._o before_o they_o call_v i_o will_v answer_v and_o whilst_o they_o be_v yet_o speak_v i_o will_v hear_v make_v good_a to_o i_o in_o the_o evening_n on_o my_o bed_n consider_v on_o this_o love_n of_o god_n whence_o it_o shall_v come_v to_o pass_v that_o the_o lord_n shall_v deal_v thus_o gracious_o with_o i_o it_o be_v answer_v i_o from_o mic._n 7._o 18._o he_o pass_v by_o the_o transgression_n of_o the_o remnant_n of_o his_o heritage_n because_o he_o delight_v in_o mercy_n next_o morning_n at_o my_o first_o awake_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n bring_v that_o scripture_n into_o my_o thought_n ps_n 65._o 3._o iniquity_n prevail_v against_o i_o as_o for_o our_o transgression_n thou_o shall_v purge_v they_o away_o it_o come_v to_o i_o with_o some_o life_n and_o power_n and_o be_v very_o suitable_a to_o my_o condition_n oh_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n the_o riches_n of_o his_o grace_n that_o he_o shall_v so_o soon_o come_v into_o my_o relief_n and_o raise_v my_o soul_n by_o his_o promise_n this_o be_v mercy_n never_o to_o be_v forget_v sept._n 28._o in_o meditation_n i_o find_v the_o lord_n draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n to_o close_v with_o christ_n i_o be_v convince_v that_o god_n be_v willing_a to_o bestow_v his_o son_n upon_o i_o because_o he_o do_v not_o only_o invite_v i_o isa_n 55._o 1._o and_o command_v i_o 1_o joh._n 3._o 23._o but_o even_o beseech_v and_o entreat_v i_o to_o receive_v christ_n 2_o cor._n 5._o 20._o i_o be_v further_o convince_v of_o god_n real_a intention_n and_o willingness_n to_o give_v i_o his_o son_n from_o his_o patient_a wait_a and_o long-suffering_a in_o expect_v my_o return_n even_o after_o much_o deafness_n to_o the_o voice_n of_o his_o spirit_n and_o dally_v with_o his_o grace_n he_o still_o offer_v his_o son_n to_o i_o yea_o he_o press_v in_o upon_o i_o with_o the_o renew_n of_o good_a motion_n and_o affection_n which_o i_o have_v quench_v now_o whence_o be_v all_o this_o but_o from_o the_o love_n and_o mercy_n of_o god_n that_o he_o shall_v be_v thus_o willing_a to_o have_v i_o take_v his_o son_n now_o who_o be_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v withstand_v god_n why_o shall_v i_o forsake_v my_o own_o mercy_n lord_n thou_o have_v show_v i_o that_o my_o former_a revolting_n shall_v not_o hinder_v this_o thy_o mercy_n if_o i_o will_v acknowledge_v my_o sin_n renounce_v myself_o return_v unto_o thou_o and_o embrace_v thy_o son_n jer._n 3._o 12_o 13._o o_o lord_n i_o thankful_o accept_v thy_o offer_n of_o grace_n i_o come_v unto_o thou_o oh_o give_v i_o thy_o son_n behold_v i_o give_v thou_o myself_o let_v i_o be_v espouse_v to_o the_o lord_n jesus_n i_o be_o willing_a through_o grace_n to_o take_v up_o my_o cross_n to_o deny_v myself_o and_o to_o follow_v thou_o nou._n 1._o have_v set_v apart_o that_o day_n to_o seek_v the_o lord_n and_o to_o humble_v my_o soul_n before_o he_o i_o can_v not_o get_v my_o heart_n to_o be_v afflict_v and_o mourn_v under_o sin_n but_o find_v much_o lightness_n in_o prayer_n the_o lord_n hide_v his_o face_n and_o do_v not_o come_v in_o to_o my_o poor_a soul_n with_o his_o quicken_a presence_n so_o that_o i_o lay_v in_o a_o poor_a desolate_a forsake_a condition_n under_o much_o confusion_n yet_o in_o the_o evening_n a_o little_a before_o go_v to_o bed_n seek_v the_o lord_n again_o i_o be_v revive_v in_o read_v psal_n 40._o especial_o v_o 17._o i_o be_o poor_a and_o needy_a yet_o the_o lord_n think_v upon_o i_o etc._n etc._n and_o next_o morning_n in_o read_v psal_n 9_o 10._o 18._o thou_o lord_n have_v not_o forsake_v they_o that_o seek_v thou_o the_o needy_a shall_v not_o always_o be_v forget_v the_o expectation_n of_o the_o poor_a shall_v not_o perish_v for_o ever_o i_o be_v thereby_o encourage_v still_o to_o wait_v and_o hope_n o_o lord_n i_o have_v seek_v thou_o withhold_v not_o thou_o thy_o tender_a mercy_n from_o i_o how_o long_o will_v thou_o hide_v thy_o face_n from_o i_o o_o when_o will_v thou_o come_v unto_o i_o make_v haste_n to_o help_v i_o o_o my_o god_n i_o be_o poor_a and_o needy_a o_o let_v i_o not_o be_v forget_v for_o ever_o let_v not_o my_o expectation_n perish_v for_o ever_o and_o now_o o_o lord_n what_o be_v my_o expectation_n it_o be_v even_o this_o the_o giving_z in_o of_o mercy_n and_o grace_n through_o the_o lord_n jesus_n pardon_v mercy_n and_o renew_v grace_n it_o be_v the_o pour_v out_o of_o thy_o spirit_n the_o take_v away_o the_o heart_n of_o stone_n and_o give_v a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n it_o be_v a_o heart_n to_o know_v thou_o to_o fear_v thou_o to_o love_v thou_o and_o obey_v thou_o etc._n etc._n dec._n 6._o be_v in_o trouble_n and_o distress_n of_o spirit_n because_o the_o lord_n hide_v his_o face_n and_o withdraw_v himself_o from_o i_o i_o go_v in_o the_o poverty_n of_o my_o spirit_n to_o trinity_n lecture_n and_o with_o some_o expectation_n to_o meet_v with_o god_n in_o his_o own_o ordinance_n the_o lord_n be_v gracious_a to_o i_o and_o speak_v comfort_n to_o i_o from_o his_o word_n i_o see_v it_o be_v good_a to_o wait_v upon_o god_n though_o he_o send_v the_o rich_a empty_a away_o yet_o he_o fill_v the_o hungry_a with_o good_a thing_n my_o soul_n be_v glad_a and_o rejoice_v for_o a_o season_n but_o go_v into_o the_o country_n the_o same_o day_n among_o friend_n and_o variety_n of_o worldly_a affair_n i_o lose_v something_o of_o the_o savour_n and_o relish_v which_o the_o good_a word_n of_o god_n leave_v upon_o i_o and_o i_o find_v palpable_o my_o soul_n rest_v in_o those_o comfort_n which_o i_o have_v receive_v and_o grow_v secure_a and_o careless_a from_o whence_o the_o lord_n give_v i_o this_o instruction_n that_o i_o be_o a_o poor_a silly_a wretch_n know_v neither_o how_o
to_o want_v nor_o how_o to_o abound_v apt_a to_o murmur_v and_o repine_v in_o strait_o and_o to_o be_v lift_v up_o and_o grow_v secure_a in_o enlargement_n o_o lord_n in_o every_o condition_n i_o need_v thy_o grace_n to_o teach_v i_o how_o to_o behave_v myself_o o_o show_v i_o thy_o way_n and_o lead_v i_o therein_o for_o thy_o namesake_n also_o the_o lord_n teach_v i_o hence_o that_o i_o ought_v to_o be_v patient_a under_o his_o hand_n when_o he_o hide_v his_o face_n and_o to_o resign_v up_o my_o will_n to_o his_o will_n inasmuch_o as_o i_o do_v not_o know_v what_o be_v good_a for_o myself_o the_o lord_n see_v i_o shall_v be_v worse_o it_o may_v be_v if_o i_o enjoy_v more_o than_o i_o do_v and_o therefore_o in_o wisdom_n and_o mercy_n he_o keep_v i_o in_o a_o low_a condition_n my_o confusion_n sometime_o have_v be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o have_v be_v so_o unsettle_a and_o at_o such_o a_o loss_n in_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v all_o former_a work_n have_v be_v question_v and_o judge_v as_o nothing_o in_o the_o hour_n of_o such_o temptation_n the_o lord_n teach_v i_o beside_o prayer_n and_o search_v into_o my_o soul_n to_o have_v recourse_n to_o former_a experience_n psal_n 77._o 10_o 11._o and_o psal_n 85._o octob._n 11._o in_o the_o morning_n i_o bewail_v it_o before_o god_n that_o i_o be_v still_o at_o a_o loss_n to_o know_v whether_o i_o love_v he_o and_o after_o prayer_n i_o read_v 1_o joh._n 2_o ch_n and_o i_o be_v make_v in_o a_o more_o special_a manner_n to_o take_v notice_n of_o v_o 5._o whoso_o keep_v his_o word_n in_o he_o very_o be_v the_o love_n of_o god_n perfect_v methinks_v i_o see_v god_n answer_v my_o prayer_n and_o tell_v i_o out_o of_o this_o word_n that_o i_o love_v he_o in_o he_o very_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d it_o be_v a_o sure_a sign_n of_o love_n to_o god_n we_o need_v not_o doubt_v of_o it_o if_o we_o keep_v his_o word_n now_o if_o i_o know_v my_o own_o heart_n i_o desire_v to_o do_v so_o if_o the_o love_n of_o god_n be_v perfect_v in_o he_o that_o keep_v his_o word_n then_o sure_o it_o be_v begin_v in_o he_o that_o desire_v and_o endeavour_n to_o keep_v his_o word_n jan._n 25._o the_o lord_n help_v i_o with_o tear_n to_o bewall_n my_o abomination_n even_o my_o original_a and_o actual_a sin_n my_o formality_n earthliness_n alienation_n from_o he_o etc._n etc._n therein_o he_o do_v remember_v and_o fulfil_v that_o gracious_a promise_n ezek._n 36._o 31._o i_o find_v godly_a sorrow_n sweet_a not_o only_o in_o the_o root_n and_o fountain_n thereof_o it_o be_v a_o covenant_n blessing_n but_o in_o the_o very_a act_n of_o it_o feb._n 2._o in_o the_o evening_n upon_o my_o bed_n the_o lord_n do_v gracious_o melt_v my_o heart_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o sin_n under_o this_o consideration_n that_o it_o be_v against_o infinite_a love_n i_o be_v ashamed_a confound_v and_o abash_v because_o i_o have_v so_o long_o slight_v neglect_v rebel_v against_o a_o god_n of_o love_n my_o soul_n even_o tremble_v at_o it_o jan._n 15._o 1655._o have_v be_v the_o day_n before_o with_o one_o under_o great_a temptation_n and_o hear_v of_o another_o under_o a_o wound_a spirit_n my_o heart_n be_v melt_v in_o prayer_n whilst_o i_o be_v praise_v god_n for_o his_o long_a patience_n in_o the_o day_n of_o my_o sin_v and_o his_o tenderness_n and_o gentleness_n towards_o i_o in_o my_o conversion_n jan._n 16._o i_o find_v my_o heart_n draw_v out_o to_o a_o recumbence_n on_o jesus_n christ_n the_o spirit_n say_v come_v rev._n 22._o 17._o christ_n say_v come_v joh._n 7._o 37._o and_o the_o father_n say_v come_v mat._n 22._o 4._o and_o who_o be_o i_o o_o lord_n that_o i_o shall_v gainsay_v such_o invitation_n behold_v o_o lord_n i_o come_v and_o put_v my_o trust_n in_o thou_o jan._n 26._o i_o preach_v twice_o and_o have_v very_o gracious_a assistance_n much_o beyond_o expectation_n in_o the_o week_n before_o i_o be_v much_o indispose_v and_o can_v not_o get_v my_o heart_n to_o a_o settle_a meditation_n of_o what_o i_o be_v to_o speak_v i_o be_v under_o a_o great_a sense_n of_o my_o impotency_n and_o labour_v in_o the_o fire_n till_o saturday_n afternoon_n when_o i_o cry_v to_o the_o lord_n he_o be_v gracious_a to_o i_o and_o answer_v i_o after_o my_o work_n be_v over_o i_o be_v much_o assault_v with_o spiritual_a pride_n i_o see_v plain_o the_o reason_n of_o god_n delay_v his_o assistance_n and_o give_v i_o such_o sense_n of_o my_o weakness_n be_v to_o keep_v i_o humble_a every_o way_n o_o lord_n i_o see_v my_o own_o vileness_n when_o thou_o withdrawe_v from_o i_o than_o my_o heart_n die_v and_o my_o strength_n fail_v and_o i_o be_o ready_a to_o be_v froward_a when_o thou_o enlarge_v i_o than_o i_o be_o ready_a to_o be_v puff_v up_o oh_o pardon_n and_o purge_v away_o all_o my_o sin_n for_o thy_o name_n sake_n mar._n 23._o in_o sing_v the_o 15_o the_o psalm_n i_o find_v comfort_n my_o conscience_n bear_v i_o witness_v that_o i_o labour_v after_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v set_v down_o as_o character_n of_o a_o citizen_n of_o the_o new_a jerusalem_n sept._n 28._o i_o have_v sweet_a meditation_n upon_o my_o bed_n i_o find_v god_n in_o my_o morning_n prayer_n also_o in_o private_a and_o assistance_n in_o preach_v but_o not_o such_o a_o influence_n of_o the_o spirit_n in_o public_a prayer_n as_o i_o have_v sometime_o find_v yet_o i_o have_v beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v give_v i_o his_o presence_n in_o public_a as_o a_o token_n that_o he_o accept_v of_o i_o and_o my_o work_n but_o he_o withdraw_v i_o fear_v hereupon_o that_o i_o have_v tempt_v god_n and_o sin_v in_o beg_v new_a sign_n of_o his_o favour_n when_o i_o have_v have_v such_o great_a experience_n of_o his_o goodness_n many_o time_n before_o lord_n forgive_v the_o sin_n of_o thy_o servant_n nou._n 23._o examine_v myself_o about_o a_o work_n of_o grace_n i_o have_v some_o comfort_n from_o ps_n 40._o 8._o delight_n in_o do_v the_o will_n of_o god_n be_v a_o argument_n of_o the_o law_n write_v in_o the_o heart_n now_o i_o find_v that_o i_o have_v a_o delight_n especial_o in_o some_o duty_n as_o visit_v the_o sick_a comfort_v of_o distress_a conscience_n etc._n etc._n i_o be_v somewhat_o terrify_v from_o that_o word_n in_o job_n ch_n 42._o 7._o i_o be_v afraid_a lest_o in_o my_o preach_v i_o shall_v sometime_o speak_v those_o thing_n of_o god_n that_o be_v not_o right_a and_o soon_o after_o go_v to_o prayer_n i_o be_v in_o time_n of_o prayer_n comfort_v from_o joh._n 16._o 13._o the_o spirit_n shall_v guide_v you_o into_o all_o truth_n dec._n 7._o i_o find_v the_o lord_n very_o much_o answer_v my_o prayer_n in_o give_v very_o gracious_a and_o powerful_a assistance_n both_o in_o prayer_n and_o preach_v at_o trinity_n lecture_n on_o sabbath_n day_n i_o may_v say_v as_o jaber_n 1_o chron._n 4._o 10._o who_o say_v oh_o that_o thou_o will_v bless_v i_o indeed_o and_o be_v with_o i_o and_o god_n grant_v my_o request_n the_o next_o morning_n there_o come_v a_o woman_n to_o i_o and_o say_v she_o be_v trouble_v at_o the_o sermon_n that_o she_o can_v scarce_o sleep_v all_o night_n for_o she_o bid_v not_o go_v so_o far_o as_o the_o scribe_n and_o pharisee_n and_o that_o which_o add_v to_o the_o mercy_n be_v god_n keep_v i_o humble_a after_o this_o enlargement_n mar._n 31._o 1657._o i_o have_v a_o very_a evident_a answer_n of_o prayer_n i_o be_v at_o a_o pinch_n for_o some_o money_n i_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o i_o may_v be_v supply_v and_o that_o afternoon_n one_o to_o who_o i_o have_v lend_v a_o little_a money_n bring_v it_o i_o which_o be_v enough_o for_o my_o present_a necessity_n the_o circumstance_n be_v very_o remarkable_a i_o seek_v the_o lord_n also_o to_o be_v with_o the_o parish_n in_o the_o choice_n of_o their_o churchwarden_n and_o there_o be_v those_o two_o choose_v who_o if_o i_o have_v have_v the_o nomination_n i_o shall_v have_v choose_v myself_o apr._n 21._o i_o keep_v a_o day_n of_o fast_a to_o the_o lord_n i_o find_v god_n gracious_o with_o i_o in_o prayer_n the_o chief_a thing_n that_o i_o propound_v be_v to_o seek_v direction_n as_o to_o my_o preach_v on_o weekday_n among_o other_o thing_n i_o beg_v of_o god_n a_o supply_n of_o my_o want_n be_v in_o some_o strait_n for_o want_n of_o money_n that_o very_a night_n one_o bring_v i_o 10_o s._n for_o preach_v a_o funeral_n sermon_n which_o i_o expect_v not_o and_o the_o next_o morning_n the_o churchwarden_n of_o st._n andrews_n parish_n bring_v i_o 7_o l._n and_o upward_o whereby_o i_o be_v sufficient_o supply_v i_o can_v not_o but_o take_v notice_n of_o
a_o evident_a answer_n of_o prayer_n and_o a_o fulfil_n of_o that_o promise_n prov._n 28._o 27._o he_o that_o give_v unto_o the_o poor_a shall_v not_o lack_v april_n 24._o be_v desire_v to_o go_v to_o a_o poor_a christian_a i_o promise_v to_o go_v there_o be_v only_o two_o maid_n in_o the_o house_n i_o consider_v whether_o it_o may_v not_o prove_v some_o scandal_n to_o go_v but_o consider_v also_o she_o be_v a_o member_n of_o christ_n and_o therefore_o i_o ought_v to_o administer_v to_o her_o soul_n i_o resolve_v to_o commit_v the_o take_a care_n of_o my_o name_n to_o the_o lord_n and_o to_o do_v my_o duty_n i_o beg_v of_o he_o that_o he_o will_v secure_v i_o from_o reproach_n and_o as_o i_o go_v a_o honest_a poor_a man_n meet_v i_o to_o who_o i_o tell_v whither_o i_o be_v go_v and_o ask_v he_o to_o go_v along_o with_o i_o he_o be_v willing_a and_o do_v so_o i_o look_v upon_o he_o as_o send_v by_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n in_o answer_n to_o my_o prayer_n these_o be_v some_o of_o those_o observation_n and_o experience_n which_o he_o record_v during_o his_o continuance_n at_o cambridge_n upon_o his_o removal_n from_o thence_o he_o intermit_v this_o practice_n for_o some_o year_n but_o resume_v it_o again_o octob._n 1662._o god_n put_v it_o into_o my_o heart_n as_o at_o other_o time_n so_o especial_o on_o wednesdays_n the_o day_n on_o which_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o preach_v my_o lecture_n when_o i_o be_v not_o divert_v by_o some_o unexpected_a providence_n to_o lament_v after_o the_o lord_n who_o have_v cast_v i_o out_o of_o my_o employment_n in_o his_o vineyard_n and_o to_o seek_v to_o he_o for_o a_o discovery_n of_o the_o cause_n for_o which_o he_o contend_v with_o i_o and_o that_o he_o will_v show_v i_o for_o what_o sin_n or_o sin_n he_o have_v send_v this_o sad_a affliction_n and_o that_o he_o will_v give_v i_o a_o sanctify_a use_n thereof_o by_o purge_v out_o my_o sin_n and_o make_v i_o more_o holy_a and_o that_o he_o will_v restore_v i_o again_o to_o some_o employment_n in_o his_o vineyard_n when_o and_o where_o it_o shall_v seem_v good_a in_o his_o sight_n be_v sad_a and_o deject_a because_o i_o have_v sin_v now_o i_o be_v under_o the_o afflict_a hand_n of_o god_n i_o be_v very_o much_o revive_v by_o isa_n 57_o 17_o 18._o i_o smite_v he_o he_o go_v on_o in_o the_o way_n of_o his_o own_o heart_n i_o have_v see_v his_o way_n and_o will_v heal_v he_o have_v afterward_o sin_v again_o and_o be_v overpowred_n by_o a_o corruption_n which_o have_v oft_o prevail_v over_o i_o i_o be_v cause_v to_o observe_v from_o that_o scripture_n further_o that_o it_o be_v not_o only_o a_o single_a act_n of_o sin_n which_o be_v commit_v but_o he_o go_v on_o in_o the_o way_n of_o his_o heart_n and_o god_n say_v i_o have_v see_v his_o way_n and_o will_v heal_v he_o it_o be_v a_o stay_n to_o my_o faith_n here_o i_o observe_v what_o i_o have_v often_o find_v viz._n 1._o dejection_n be_v a_o forerunner_n of_o consolation_n seldom_o have_v i_o have_v trouble_v upon_o my_o spirit_n but_o if_o i_o have_v eye_v and_o follow_v after_o god_n he_o have_v take_v it_o off_o by_o some_o word_n of_o promise_n 2._o the_o observe_v and_o ponder_v of_o every_o word_n and_o circumstance_n in_o a_o promise_n be_v of_o great_a use_n as_o it_o have_v be_v to_o i_o 3._o god_n open_v his_o promise_n gradual_o sometime_o hint_v and_o discover_v one_o thing_n and_o then_o another_o in_o the_o promise_n be_v foil_v by_o sin_n i_o be_v raise_v to_o my_o former_a hope_n and_o affiance_n in_o god_n by_o phil_n children_n of_o god_n till_o the_o come_n of_o christ_n be_v another_o time_n foil_v with_o the_o same_o corruption_n and_o my_o heart_n sink_v in_o a_o despondent_a frame_n i_o be_v much_o revive_v from_o jam._n 4._o 5._o 6._o he_o give_v more_o grace_n where_o i_o see_v that_o even_o our_o strong_a sin_n such_o as_o our_o corrupt_a nature_n be_v most_o prone_a to_o and_o be_v deep_o root_v in_o our_o heart_n and_o spirit_n be_v conquerable_a by_o god_n grace_n be_v trouble_v that_o i_o have_v sin_v against_o god_n under_o his_o correct_a hand_n and_o have_v thereby_o lose_v my_o former_a comfort_n which_o god_n have_v speak_v to_o my_o soul_n after_o my_o former_a backslide_n i_o sigh_v over_o the_o great_a treachery_n and_o unstedfastness_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o cast_v about_o in_o my_o thought_n where_o i_o shall_v find_v a_o suitable_a word_n to_o fix_v on_o god_n bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n isa_n 48._o 8_o 9_o i_o know_v that_o thou_o will_v deal_v very_o treacherous_o for_o my_o name_n sake_n will_v i_o defer_v my_o anger_n while_o i_o be_v muse_v and_o ponder_v hereon_o and_o have_v new_a hope_n put_v into_o i_o the_o lord_n let_v in_o further_a comfort_n and_o encouragement_n from_o vers_fw-la 10_o 11._o which_o be_v render_v by_o piscat_fw-la behold_v i_o will_v refine_v thou_o and_o i_o will_v make_v thou_o a_o choice_n one_o in_o the_o furnace_n of_o affliction_n for_o my_o own_o sake_n even_o for_o my_o own_o sake_n will_v i_o do_v it_o which_o give_v i_o abundant_a refreshment_n and_o do_v marvellous_o strengthen_v my_o hope_n in_o god_n this_o be_v give_v i_o in_o when_o i_o have_v set_v apart_o some_o time_n to_o humble_v my_o soul_n apr._n 5._o 1665._o i_o set_v apart_o that_o day_n for_o fast_v and_o prayer_n on_o behalf_n of_o my_o daughter_n elinor_n that_o have_v be_v so_o long_o sick_a and_o in_o the_o evening_n have_v my_o faith_n revive_v from_o isa_n 44._o 3_o i_o will_v pour_v my_o spirit_n upon_o thy_o seed_n apr._n 7._o i_o begin_v the_o day_n with_o discourse_n with_o some_o friend_n before_o i_o have_v be_v at_o my_o private_a communion_n with_o god_n i_o meet_v with_o a_o gentle_a rebuke_n from_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n in_o my_o family_n affair_n and_o my_o heart_n be_v flat_a in_o family_n duty_n and_o straighten_a in_o private_a i_o take_v this_o as_o a_o item_n to_o begin_v with_o god_n before_o i_o converse_v with_o man_n in_o the_o evening_n god_n come_v in_o gracious_o to_o i_o in_o my_o family_n exercise_n apr._n 9_o lord_n day_n i_o be_v much_o discompose_v in_o my_o spirit_n in_o the_o morning_n by_o reason_n of_o a_o foil_n sin_n have_v give_v i_o the_o evening_n before_o satan_n will_v have_v boat_n i_o off_o from_o preach_v in_o my_o family_n but_o i_o perform_v my_o morning_n exercise_n and_o continue_v deject_v till_o the_o evening_n and_o then_o in_o family_n prayer_n god_n gracious_o revive_v i_o with_o that_o promise_n hos_fw-la 11._o 10._o they_o shall_v walk_v after_o the_o lord_n in_o connexion_n with_o vers_fw-la 7._o my_o people_n be_v bend_v to_o backslide_v though_o they_o call_v they_o to_o the_o most_o high_a none_o at_o all_o will_v exalt_v he_o where_o two_o thing_n be_v a_o great_a relief_n to_o my_o faith_n 1._o god_n promise_v they_o shall_v walk_v after_o he_o notwithstanding_o their_o habitual_a proness_n to_o backslide_v from_o god_n 2._o notwithstanding_o their_o refuse_v to_o exalt_v the_o lord_n though_o call_v to_o it_o yet_o within_o a_o little_a time_n i_o be_v again_o foil_v by_o my_o corruption_n which_o make_v i_o see_v what_o a_o poor_a creature_n i_o be_v it_o leave_v of_o god_n to_o myself_o may._n 8._o at_o eleven_o of_o the_o clock_n at_o night_n my_o daughter_n elinor_n die_v after_o a_o long_a sickness_n god_n give_v i_o several_a opportunity_n of_o recommend_v her_o soul_n to_o he_o in_o prayer_n at_o some_o whereof_o my_o heart_n be_v much_o affect_v and_o my_o faith_n and_o hope_v act_v on_o god_n for_o the_o eternal_a welfare_n of_o her_o soul_n which_o make_v her_o departure_n easy_a to_o i_o my_o ground_n be_v gen._n 17._o i_o will_v establish_v my_o covenant_n between_o i_o and_o thou_o and_o thy_o seed_n after_o thou_o for_o a_o everlasting_a covenant_n to_o be_v a_o god_n to_o thou_o and_o thy_o seed_n after_o thou_o i_o consider_v that_o this_o covenant_n be_v to_o give_v life_n mal._n 2._o 5._o and_o whereas_o the_o thought_n of_o the_o child_n be_v original_a and_o actual_a sin_n as_o frowardness_n etc._n etc._n may_v make_v i_o fearful_a of_o its_o estate_n it_o be_v bring_v to_o my_o mind_n that_o the_o covenant_n be_v to_o give_v pardon_n of_o sin_n heb._n 8._o 10_o 12._o and_o whereas_o faith_n and_o regeneration_n be_v necessary_a to_o salvation_n i_o consider_v further_a that_o the_o covenant_n be_v to_o give_v all_o thing_n necessary_a to_o salvation_n 2_o sam._n 23._o 5._o this_o be_v all_o my_o salvation_n beside_o the_o consideration_n of_o the_o covenant_n god_n give_v i_o other_o encouragement_n to_o hope_v in_o reference_n to_o my_o child_n as_o from_o math._n 19_o 14
and_o miserable_a to_o die_v in_o sin_n in_o a_o state_n of_o sin_n in_o the_o guilt_n of_o sin_n under_o the_o reign_n and_o power_n of_o sin_n in_o the_o arm_n and_o embrace_n of_o sin_n sin_n be_v the_o transgression_n of_o a_o righteous_a law_n the_o violation_n of_o infinite_a holiness_n and_o justice_n and_o rebellion_n against_o divine_a majesty_n and_o authority_n it_o always_o have_v demerit_n and_o guilt_n consequent_a upon_o it_o which_o oblige_v and_o bind_v the_o sinner_n to_o undergo_v that_o punishment_n which_o be_v natural_o due_a to_o it_o which_o punishment_n be_v death_n rome_n 1._o 32._o they_o which_o commit_v such_o thing_n be_v worthy_a of_o death_n thus_o sin_n become_v the_o weapon_n or_o sting_n of_o death_n by_o which_o it_o have_v power_n to_o destroy_v death_n come_v upon_o the_o sinner_n as_o a_o bailiff_n or_o sergeant_n from_o the_o judge_n with_o warrant_n to_o apprehend_v and_o bring_v the_o sinner_n to_o give_v account_n or_o as_o a_o executioner_n to_o take_v vengeance_n to_o pay_v the_o sinner_n the_o just_a wage_n of_o his_o sin_n for_o the_o reparation_n of_o a_o break_a law_n for_o the_o satisfaction_n of_o offend_a justice_n for_o the_o declaration_n of_o divine_a hatred_n and_o displeasure_n against_o sin_n and_o for_o the_o manifestation_n of_o god_n glorious_a power_n and_o wrath_n against_o the_o guilty_a and_o what_o a_o terror_n must_v death_n needs_o be_v when_o it_o appear_v in_o this_o shape_n and_o arm_v with_o this_o sting_n know_v o_o presumptuous_a and_o secure_a sinner_n though_o wickedness_n be_v now_o sweet_a in_o thy_o mouth_n and_o thou_o hide_v it_o under_o thy_o tongue_n though_o thou_o swallow_a down_n delicious_o thy_o forbid_a morsel_n of_o sensual_a pleasure_n and_o worldly_a gain_n yet_o this_o meat_n will_v soon_o be_v turn_v in_o thy_o bowel_n and_o become_v the_o gall_n of_o asp_n within_o thou_o at_o last_o at_o death_n it_o will_v bite_v as_o a_o serpent_n and_o sting_v like_o a_o adder_n what_o horror_n will_v fill_v thy_o soul_n when_o approach_a death_n shall_v awaken_v thy_o sleepy_a conscience_n as_o oft_o time_n it_o do_v and_o thy_o awaken_v conscience_n shall_v charge_v thou_o with_o thy_o inexcusable_a transgression_n of_o a_o righteous_a law_n thy_o gross_a neglect_n of_o command_a duty_n thy_o industerious_a provision_n to_o satisfy_v the_o flesh_n thy_o ready_a compliance_n with_o the_o call_n of_o temptation_n thy_o irreparable_a loss_n of_o precious_a time_n thy_o hypocritical_a deal_n with_o god_n in_o covenant_n the_o stop_v of_o thy_o ear_n at_o the_o voice_n of_o conscience_n the_o shut_n of_o thy_o eye_n against_o the_o light_n of_o scripture_n the_o harden_v of_o thy_o heart_n against_o the_o motion_n of_o the_o spirit_n thy_o unbelieve_a refusal_n of_o a_o offer_a saviour_n thy_o unprofitable_a misimprovement_n of_o mean_n of_o grace_n thy_o unthankful_a abuse_n of_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n and_o obstinate_a incorrigibleness_n under_o his_o judgement_n with_o many_o other_o instance_n of_o multiply_a and_o aggravate_v sin_n through_o a_o long_a life_n whence_o will_v arise_v dismal_a apprehension_n of_o the_o wrath_n of_o a_o offend_a god_n a_o certain_a fearful_a expectation_n of_o judgement_n to_o come_v and_o a_o pre-occupation_n of_o eternal_a torment_n and_o everlasting_a burn_n this_o be_v that_o sting_n of_o death_n the_o weapon_n wherewith_o it_o be_v arm_v against_o thou_o wherein_o consist_v its_o power_n and_o by_o which_o it_o be_v so_o terrible_a 2._o add_v to_o this_o the_o strength_n which_o this_o sting_n have_v from_o the_o law_n for_o say_v the_o apostle_n the_o strength_n of_o sin_n be_v the_o law_n and_o that_o two_o way_n 1_o sy_n as_o the_o law_n discover_v and_o convince_v of_o sin_n rom._n 5._o 13._o sin_n be_v not_o impute_v where_o there_o be_v no_o law_n man_n be_v not_o prone_a to_o charge_v themselves_o with_o sin_n where_o there_o be_v no_o law_n therefore_o gal._n 3._o 19_o the_o law_n be_v add_v because_o of_o transgression_n that_o be_v to_o make_v transgression_n appear_v hence_o we_o read_v rom._n 3._o 20._o by_o the_o law_n be_v the_o knowledge_n of_o sin_n and_o rom._n 7._o 9_o 13._o i_o be_v alive_a without_o the_o law_n once_o in_o my_o own_o opinion_n but_o when_o the_o commandment_n come_v sin_n revive_v and_o i_o die_v i_o be_v convince_v i_o be_v in_o a_o state_n of_o sin_n and_o death_n and_o v_o 13._o sin_n by_o the_o commandment_n become_v exceed_o sinful_a thus_o sin_n as_o the_o sting_n of_o death_n be_v strengthen_v by_o the_o law_n while_o man_n thereby_o be_v more_o clear_o and_o full_o convince_v of_o it_o and_o the_o great_a the_o conviction_n be_v the_o sharp_a be_v the_o sting_n 2_o lie_n as_o the_o law_n curse_v and_o condemn_v the_o sinner_n gal._n 3._o 10._o curse_a be_v every_o one_o that_o continue_v not_o in_o all_o thing_n which_o be_v write_v in_o the_o book_n of_o the_o law_n to_o do_v they_o hence_o as_o before_o rom._n 7._o 9_o when_o the_o commandment_n came._n i_o die_v and_o 2_o cor._n 3._o 7._o the_o law_n be_v call_v the_o ministration_n of_o death_n the_o law_n bind_v the_o sinner_n over_o to_o the_o judgement_n of_o the_o great_a day_n it_o hold_v he_o fast_o under_o his_o guilt_n without_o hope_n of_o pardon_n pass_v sentence_n of_o condemnation_n upon_o he_o and_o begin_v the_o execution_n by_o wound_v the_o spirit_n terrify_v the_o soul_n with_o pre-apprehension_n and_o foreta_v of_o the_o wrath_n to_o come_v the_o sum_n of_o the_o terror_n of_o death_n be_v this_o approach_v death_n awaken_v the_o secure_a conscience_n awaken_v conscience_n charge_v with_o the_o guilt_n of_o sin_n this_o sin_n be_v strengthen_v with_o a_o convince_v curse_a law_n the_o die_a wretch_n see_v his_o day_n of_o sensual_a delight_n and_o pleasure_n his_o day_n of_o worldly_a gain_n and_o purchase_n his_o day_n of_o carnal_a fellowship_n with_o man_n and_o especial_o his_o day_n of_o grace_n and_o mercy_n with_o god_n pass_v away_o find_v his_o spirit_n faint_v his_o heart_n and_o flesh_n fail_v anguish_n and_o pang_n take_v hold_v of_o he_o and_o his_o soul_n forthwith_o to_o be_v require_v apprehend_v arrest_v summon_v and_o hale_v out_o of_o his_o body_n from_o all_o friend_n mean_n help_n and_o hope_n to_o appear_v naked_a before_o god_n the_o judge_n of_o all_o man_n to_o give_v a_o account_n of_o a_o sinful_a life_n and_o to_o receive_v a_o righteous_a doom_n viz._n depart_v from_o i_o you_o curse_v into_o everlasting_a fire_n prepare_v for_o the_o devil_n and_o his_o angel_n and_o then_o to_o go_v away_o into_o everlasting_a punishment_n at_o this_o what_o heart_n of_o man_n can_v contain_v and_o possess_v himself_o without_o fear_n who_o but_o must_v be_v appall_v confound_v amaze_a terrify_v know_v the_o terror_n say_v st._n paul_n 2_o cor._n 5._o 1._o speak_v of_o this_o appearance_n and_o account_n felix_n tremble_v say_v st._n luke_n act._n 24._o 25._o when_o he_o hear_v of_o judgement_n to_o come_v it_o be_v a_o fearful_a look_v for_o of_o judgement_n and_o fiery_a indignation_n say_v the_o author_n to_o the_o hebrew_n chap._n 10._o 27._o and_o a_o fearful_a thing_n to_o fall_v into_o the_o hand_n of_o the_o live_n god_n ver_fw-la 31._o thus_o have_v we_o represent_v the_o enemy_n death_n in_o its_o power_n and_o pomp_n as_o it_o reign_v over_o the_o fall_v son_n and_o daughter_n of_o adam_n which_o appear_v so_o terrible_a that_o woe_n be_v to_o those_o that_o fall_v under_o the_o power_n of_o it_o 2._o we_o will_v now_o show_v you_o this_o enemy_n fall_v and_o overcome_v before_o believer_n believer_n be_v victorious_a over_o death_n object_n but_o say_v natural_a carnal_a reason_n be_v not_o this_o a_o great_a paradox_n who_o will_v believe_v it_o one_o enoch_n indeed_o be_v translate_v that_o he_o shall_v not_o see_v death_n and_o elijah_n go_v up_o to_o heaven_n in_o a_o fiery_a chariot_n but_o else_o the_o patriarch_n and_o prophet_n and_o apostle_n and_o all_o the_o saint_n in_o their_o successive_a generation_n have_v yield_v up_o to_o death_n and_o do_v not_o every_o day_n bear_v witness_n be_v we_o not_o all_o here_o this_o day_n lament_v a_o very_a holy_a and_o eminent_a saint_n and_o servant_z of_o jesus_n christ_n fall_v by_o the_o stroke_n of_o death_n where_o then_o be_v the_o victory_n and_o how_o be_v death_n overcome_v answ_n notwithstanding_o all_o this_o yet_o very_o death_n be_v overcome_v not_o ut_fw-la ne_fw-la sit_fw-la but_o ut_fw-la ne_fw-la obsit_fw-la not_o that_o it_o shall_v not_o be_v but_o that_o it_o shall_v not_o be_v hurtful_a to_o believer_n and_o this_o victory_n consist_v in_o four_o thing_n 1._o death_n be_v disarm_v to_o believer_n that_o it_o can_v sting_v they_o when_o death_n come_v it_o find_v no_o sin_n in_o they_o unpardoned_a no_o guilt_n remain_v as_o a_o obligation_n