understanding see what wisedome and experience he hath gotten wheras all this while this wise man whose head is aloft in his counsell to others falles into the ditch for lacke of taking counsel himself He cannot guide his owne way nor order his owne conversation aright In generalls he is very free and full because he is carried onely to the object of truth and judgment till you come to particulars and then occasions of his owne profits will pleasure or ease and ends doe so hamper ensnarle his spirit that this man with his great understanding becomes a very foole for lacke of a speciall wise heart to apply knowledge to his owne occasions as Sampson was able to judge Israel but his lusts and passions cast him out of the rule of himselfe These then and the like argue no man of understanding Secondly therfore he is a true husband and a man of understanding who first hath denied his owne wisedome and is abased before God in the privity of his owne wants and inability to manage this great affaire of Marriage or to walk before his wife as a man of understanding To say of this as Salomon did of his Government who am I Lord that I should walke before this great people To say as holy Agur did Doubtlesse I am a foole and the understanding of a man is not in mee q. d. I have not halfe the wisedome that a man of my condition had need of I say its one step to an husbands understanding to be convinced of the defect and disproportion of his abilities to guide the way of marriage To thinke of it neyther so highly as if it were above his possibility to atteyne nor so low as if he had enough and to spare for it David being nominated to be Sauls son in law did not vaunt himself in his abilities as Absalon after did but sayd thus Thinke you it so easie a thing to stand in this relation And Abigail a woman affirmed by a judicious man to bee of great counsell and understanding yet thought not her selfe so but beeing sent for to be Davids wyfe answered Alas I am more fit to be an handmayde to wash the feete of the servants of my Lord I say this holy humble diffidence in our selves is a surer marke of an understanding man then the former Especially when the sense of a mans nakednesse carries him to God to pray as he did oh Lord I beseech thee give to thy servant an understanding heart This pleased the Lord well that he asked this onely not other matters for his owne ends long life riches honor so if thou sue to God for such an head peece of wisedome as might guide thy mariage course aright more then for welfare and jollity in the world it s a signe that the cheef thing is more prized then the inferior So secondly to be a man of understanding is to bee a subject to God himselfe ere thou undertake mastry over others To say with that centurion I my selfe am under Authority I come to the bar my selfe and give accompt of my head ship I am fellow servant with my wife and I have a Master in heaven my selfe it behooves mee to use my headship sparingly not to Lord it lest I be scorned my selfe for taking upon mee in that office which hath more service then worship tyed to it my Rule over my wife is not imperious but royall and Princely not over an underling but copartner with an equall so that if with all my understanding I can bowe my wives will by a milde perswasion not by austerity I have quitted my selfe well Thirdly to be of understanding is to be more sensible of the burden and worke of Marriage then the honor of it I say to apprehend what cost and care belongs to my wives soule how to mould it unto true lowlynesse meeknesse for God which is of great price with him to instill the principles of Christ and selfdeniall into her or to nourish them if already instilled to cause her to see into that scope and view of Religion which is the change and subduing of her will to God Oh what a worke is this and who is sufficient for it were it but to menage her outward man and carriage towards my selfe towards her children in her family and before others in point of subjection love and wisedome oh it exceedes my understanding it exercises mee with more thought then all her portion contents mee Oh! I must carry her to God and commit her to him to be trained to this great busines Lastly to bee a man of understanding is yet a point of further extent For such an one is of an excellent spirit throughout a man framed by God within without with a spirit for marriage a spirit of cheerfulnes discerning diligence dexterity to devise and dispatch also humblenesse courage and patient enduring By these such an one first orders his owne personall way of religion conscience before God conversation in tongue dealings and example before men Then nextly he walkes before his wife as a wise man ought And he attempts not to rule others before he have got the upperhand of himselfe But having begun as Physitians doe sometime to try conclusions upon himselfe then he prescribes to others I say that these and the like Graces concurre to qualifie a man of understanding in point of Marriage as God willing in the sequele shall more fully appeare For which purpose let this further be enquired into in what mayne things consists this vertue of an husband walking as a man of understanding toward his wife I answer In these two first in matters of God then in such as concern the married relation Both these will procure and maynteine the honor of marriage on the husbands part and the contrary will proove dishonorable For the former I will here touch it only so farre as the purpose of the point requires And first its requisite for the husband to handsell his understanding with the matters of God That he count it his crowne first to seeke the Kingdome of God and that for it selfe and from the savor therof as one well grounded in the Scriptures to be able to expresse his knowledge to his wife till she conceive the like And having so done that he set himselfe to walke accordingly towards his wife both in the generall to instruct admonish comfort resolve support her and in speciall in all private or family duties to be her mouth to God and to present to him the wants and petitions of all that depend upō him Both indeed ought to know they have severall soules to save and not to wrap up themselves in one anothers grace Both ought to be a spirituall body of Christ annoynted which his prophecy and Priesthood yet as the man is the Image of God in speciall and her head so ought the Consecration of God to rest upon him in more
by a wife Entrance marrying in the Lord and aptly in the Lord as also by wise watching to the Duties both of common nature reaching to them both and in speciall pertaining to either let mee conclude the whole treatise with an item to both sorts First all ye that are apt religious joint worshippers of God who love each other are chast and consenting in the generall also who in speciall are understanding provident respective husbands subject helpfull gracefull wives Let me say this unto you both I doubt not but in the reading of my former treatise you willingly heare of other unhappy couples your selves better married But which of you in thus reading looke up to God or acknowledge such a blessing with due thankfulnes Which of you do but suppose as it is not amisse to suppose what might have bin or what may bee or say within your selves If â—he Loâ—d had not provided better for some of us then we deserved then we desired given us good companions before ever we knew what the misery of bad or the worth of good ones meant yea if he had not beene better to us most unworthie then he hath beene to more worthie then our selves whom he saw fitter to beare to profit by the crosse then our selves were oh what had become of us Oh! Nabals Laâ—ecs Zippora's Iebazels had swallowed up our souâ—s spirits peace welfare thrift and all The continuall vexitions of bad heads daily dropping of bad wives had oppressed us Alas And why hath the Lord done this Surely not for any good hee saw or foresaw in us but because he knew how unmeet we were to honor him under such a chaine Why then do wee not more magnify his providence and wonder at his love who hath so guarded us There being so few apt couples in the world that our lot should bee to light upon no unapter there being so many bad ones that wee should light upon no worser Is not this mercy Was it a golden blessing at first in our owne sense and confession and is it become a leaden one now after ten twenty thirty yea fourty yeeres experience Doe rich Pearles fall in price Could such mercie be better spared now then it might thirty yeeres a goe Have we had the stock of good marriage now 20. yeeres and come far shorter in the Tribute of praise thanks and fruit then when we first entred There be 4. ages of each marriage through the sin of the marryed the first goldeÌ„ the next silver the third brasse the last yron At first couples begin with precious affectioÌ„s to God to each other join much in duty cleave closely each to other mutually excite each other to zeale good works and pay their vowes well then nextly Gods part weaknes and decayes and they hold mutuall marriage-love hardly Then thirdly both Gods part and their owne faile too and they waxe fulsome and formall in both But lastly and before they die the Devill will faile of his will but he will make them both loose carnall profane and scandalous consider this how many Marriages of great hope and solemnity have by these Declensions proved starke naught at last when indeed they should have proved best and by degrees come to perfection Let it bee a sad Item to such as enter well to beware lest they trust too much to their owne wisedome and strength which will lay them in the durt ere they be a ware Againe how little do wee condole the unhappines of mismatcht couples Yea even Christians better then our selves Rather readie to disdayne and scorne them then to condole and pity them As those two Aaron and Miriam fell a cavilling at Moses for his Aethiopain wife Why Had he not sorrow enough before Was this to mourne with him or rather to adde more burden thereto Was it not from God And were they to quarrel at it Even so it fareth with many That which should provok teÌ„dernesse love fellow-feeling compassion in men rather causeth disdaine indignation alienating and estrangement of heart deserting of fellowship Why I pray Do they stoop under their burden so deeply that they are oft ashamed to complaine and dost thou trample upon them Dost thou judge them afflicted of God and humbled for sin Knowing thy wisedome and choice was no whâ—t better Thy successe only was happier in providence No but as thy selfe in the like affliction wouldst be handled so deale thou Bear their burden associate their persons use all meanes to reconcile their spirits to compound their differences to reduce them to mediocrity and indifferency of affâ—ctions many couples had prooved happier if even such as were neerest them had not rather made them objects of abhorring then of compassion A great sin and meane to aggravate yea exasperate those seedes of evill which disproportion at the first was like to kindle too much Pray pray rather for mercie and strength to guide and carry them through For how hardly couldst thou digest those morsells once which must bee their daily diet Wilt thou eate thy sweet bits alone and so little wish them to such as want them wholy Once a man enjoying sweet marriage thought seriously of another friend that never married a viling himself as base in respect of him that seemed to be above the need of that which himselfe could neither well want nor thankfully improove How much more shouldst thou then pray for such as would faine enjoy that which no creature can help them withall Moreover if not our worth but rather our weaknes hath mooved the Lord to shew us this mercy how doth the sense of our weaknes humble us How do we esteeme of the grace of God in such as although but ill married yet do walke more wisely under that crosse and do grow daily more humble and wary and purge out much drosse out of themselves which perhaps the blessings of God purge not out of us but rather make us sleep securely in the love of them As pride hipocrisie selflove and sensuality what if we whose portion is better do yet make a slighter matter of it and turne it into wantonnes How just were it with God to bereave us of our sweet companions leaving us to passe the rest of our daies either in solitarinesse with snares so that we should bring our gray heads to the graves with dishonor as many have done or in marriage more sad and sorrowfull the latter part of our life then ever it was comfortable in the former part thereof Could we well brooke such sawce and sower hearbs yet fit for such as have eaten our former dainties with such unthankfulnesse verily the experience I have had of second or third matches which have betided some husbands have made mee to thinke of our Saviours words to Peter when thou wert young thou girdedst thy selfe and went at thy pleasure But when thou art old another shall bind thee and lead thee whither thou wouldest not Surely when
handes whole flesh is defiled with this sin Who sees not the unsutablenesse hereof So that as the leper was wont to be shut out of company to have his lips sown up scarse suffred to breath to try out unclean so here This sinner shuts out himself from God in that he cannot approach to him with auy member without loath somns I speak not this to exclud any Penitent from the free grace of God though God who gives each penitent grace gives not each sinner to be Penitent for Rahab Bathsheba Tamar yea a worse theÌ„ al Mary Megdalene found mercy sorecoverd the honour of each member but I speak odious the sin is in peculiar Let it therefore bee a second Meditation against it Thirdly meditate of that wofull seperation which it maks inwardly betwixt God and the soule Few see this But if union with God be the roote of all other Previledges and a restoring us to our integrity what then is seperation from him and cutting off from the fountain save a curse Now who so is one with an harlot is cut off from God For how can a man bee at once a member of an harlot and a member of Christ Know you not that who so is one with Christ is one spirit And what is he then who is one with an harlot Can he with and in the same spirit be united to one and to other at the same time Doth he not what lieth in himselfe to disjoynt himselfe for ever from God who is joined with an whore Is it so easy to unlinke the chayne of uncleannes and to be knit to God who is once enchained in the band of this sin Or can there be communion and influence mainteyned with God while fellowship continues with Harlots Is purenesse and filthines so easily reconciled A spirit of of holâ—ies with a spirit of Adulterie What communion betweene Christ and Beliall Or how can two walke together except agred If theÌ„ the spirit be sadded grieved what joy can it have to walke with the soule Where was Davids fellowship with God become when he had defiled himself with what a conscience thinke wee did he walke What peace joy going in and out with God had hee Or why doth he so crave for the spirit and for washing and renned grace save that he felt them withdrawne from him And if the Spirit of Christ be gone what is the Name of Christ and of Communion worth Perhaps many an Adulterer pleaseth himselfe in this that he is not yet cast out from the church But why is he not cast out Is Gods judgment changed Where then is that censure become of which Paul speaks of That ye beeing gathered together with my spirit in the Name of the Lord Iesus deliver such an one an uncleane wretch unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh that his soule may be saved in the day of the Lord Iesus Is not here solemne excommunication against uâ—dcleannes urged Neither let any cavill and say This was in a case of high degree of this sin For Gods netres take all open sinners in foule kindes bee the degrees what they what else meaneth that speech Withdraw your selves from every brother who walketh inordinately How Except by the censure excommunicating him from Communion of Sacraments and secret fellowship Thus once it was But the sin of man interverting the Censure disanulles not the Ordinance If such bee not cast out the greater is the shame of Neglecters and the offender hath the greater wrong And say that he bee not formally cast out by Discipline hath hee not really cast out himselfe by his Desert As he once sayde of his Bookes That they were published and they were not in effect for none could understand or be the better for them so say I. They are in Communion and they are not locally by intrusion not spiritually not by acceptation so that save for his pleasing himselfe sinfully he is never the better for it For why Doth not Conscience within tell him All who would thrive by the Ordinances must cast up their gorge So saith Peter Casting out all superfluity as new borne babes covet the sincere milk of the word to grow by And are not all things uncleane to the uncleane Doth not such a mans spirit say to him as God to Elya what dost thou here Elia Why takest thou my word pure as my selfe into thy mouth hating to be reformed Minister into thy mouth hearer into thine eares beeing both in thy body and spirit polluted Can wrath or doubting as the same Apostle speaks hinder the lifting up of pure hands and must not an uncleane conscience much more Can such a swine comming into the Assembly to Sermon or Sacrament thinke himselfe to bee in his place Doth he not tell himselfe a Stewes an whores bosome are fitter for thee then such a place as Gods house Now if outward Communion which yet many a sinner will buy with his mony or thrust himselfe into boldly bee so unproper for him what then is Communion with the Graces of God with his Saints with the Duties of both Tables Hath such an one any joy in his soule peace with God delight in his Service exercise of graces as seale faythe meeknes compassion patience Or can he lay claime to an holy example Are not these irkesome objects to such more fit to teare them in peices to thinke themselves cut off then to comfort them So then let this bee a meditation of great weight to gaster the soule from all uncleannesse or to humble it beeing fallen to consider what a Gulfe it sets betweene the Lord and the soule so that one cannot come at the other And woe bee to him that is alone All ordinances all duties all graces speaking thus to him If God helpe not how can I helpe thee with the Barne or the winepresse Influence being wanting presence gone what can second comforts availe Doe not all issue from union with the head Doe not all Conduit-comforts rise and fall with the fountaine Except then thou carest not for God for his spirit or Christ beware of uncleannesse For that laies-all Channels of the spirit dry embarrens the soule of all heavenly savour making it as carelesse to have it as it is empty of it And these three may serve for a short discription of the nature of this sinne and how wee may derive Arguments from thence to deterre us from it Now to the penalties Touching which they are either spirituall or outward For the former the Reader may partly gather what the spirituall burthen is which God lates upon it by that which before I said of the nature of it For if it be so defiling and hardning a sinne and so seldome is found in the way of repentance who should not be afraid of it Who is so stupid as seeing a drove of Adulterers going towards the den of the Dragon the Divell I meane with their foresteps and observing
deeming many other subjects more worthy and proper to present your Lordship withall But my good Lord such is the estate of fraâ—le flesh in this vaile or misery that there is no condition of lâ—fe whether Ministery Magistracy single or maried state wherin counsell may not doe well for the rectifying of such errors as through humane infirmity breake into all Each state hath his severall temptations and a well ordered course in marriage as long experience of a double marriage can teâ—ch you is no easie Theme â—gaine that sweet and mutuall accord which God hath vouchsafed twixt your Honour and your worthy Consort may serve to turne my Dedâ—cation into a Gratulation And indeed though the Booke be much under the value of such a personage as your selfe a mâ—n not onely of Noble descent but of great and deserving acts both for our Church and Commonwealth both formerly and of late yet I presume that if a draught of muddy wâ—ter presented in the crowne of a hat was so welcome to a potent Monarch then doubtlesse your honourable spirit will not reject a Schollers Mite offered with as deepe respect unto you as that was you will not despise small things since there may be a blessing therein Not alway in a great thing there is good but in a good there is ever great and that which may agree with greatnesse as one tells us out of a Greeke Poet. All helpes shall one day cease yet every booke of use may serve as a little walking-staffe to further us in our travell home Moreover it may become the best Scholler of us all to learne that lesson which Paul and from him my Booke urgeth The time is short wrapt and folded up as the Text is Let them that possesse be as if they possessed not such as weepe as if they wept not such as rejoyce as if they rejoyced not such as marry as if they married not such as use the world as if not using it for the fashion of it passeth away A time for all things and so a time for the married to embrace and a time to bee far from embracing Seeke therefore that place where all these relations shall cease for so I thinke though some thinke otherwise where there shall be no marrying nor giving in marriage for the Spouse shall be wholy spirituall like her husband at least like the Angels of God In which desire I rest craving a blessing from heaven upon your Honour your vertuous and Noble Lady and posterity as also upon the perusall of this your Booke and so humbly take my leave resting At your Honours command in the LORD DANIEL ROGERS To the READER All health IUdicious and religious Reader this Wheele of our Conversation whereof this Booke treates Marriage I meane including many lesser wheeles in and under it all subject to the motion thereof and each of them requiring a due order and direction that both might bee regular and according to knowledge how should I thinke any other but that I have lighted upon this point of Marriage by a speciall Manuduction of Providence Desirous wee are sometimes that the matter we have by us in readinesse might be seasonable also for the times wherein we live But when indeed the manners of our present age seeme to give a life to that which we have before prepared for thou knowest Occasion is the life of a Thing then doubly it appeares seasonable yea as Apples of gold and Pictures of silver Howbeit further musing of the matter sundry other smaller cords concurred to draw me on to this endeavour whereof I will make thee partaker as counting it none of the smallest mercies that I may give an account to the Church of God for the improving and redeeming of my seasons in these sad times wherein that good God who allowes us any the least protection and liberty requires that wee spend it not in vanity and froth but to the best advantage if not as we would for hee is wiser then man yea his foolishnesse and weaknesse exceeds the best wisedome and strength which is in us yet as wee may for the better making up of our reckoning at his comming when the use of our Talents shall be examined First then I observed that Religious Consent betweene couples did not onely fashion the family relations the children and servants much the more orderly but also extended it selfe to the Church and Common-wealth causing those services which concerne publique communion of worshippers to proceed more faire as also the duties of common life to passe more comely then otherwise they would doe One godly and harmonious Couple I have noted to dispatch more good service to God to themselves to their brethren then some ten couples unequally yoaked So true a maxime of Machiavel and his master the Devill it is Hee that would beare rule let him sow discord and division This one wheele then being of so maine importance what need is there that the spokes and staves of it bee sound and well compact according to the rule of the Sanctuary This was one motive I observed moreover that as barren as the world is of good persons and good couples yet here and there are scattered many of a tractable and docible disposition to doe well and to order their marriage course aright Onely their Principles lying rather in a morall way of good affections zeale and duties then in the particular relations of life in which they live as of marriage yea being ignorant of that which should either informe their judgement or order their will thereunto alas they never attaine the Tythe of comfort and content which this estate might affoord them How great pitty were it then to defraud such people of directions who if they might enjoy it would not bee wanting to improve it How many full of knowledge yet live and in marriage especially as if they had none By so much the more its pitty that such should want it as would gladly enjoy the fruit of it And considering that without knowledge the heart is not good and that good intentions without rule are as a goodly Coach without a skilfull driver I conceived I should doe them acceptable service and some glory to God in casting this Platforme of Direction for them out of Gods Word This seemed another inducement Besides these as wee see a great deale of ground vanisheth in a narrow Map which in a larger lyeth open so I have noted that in Sermons or short Touches upon the fifth Command wherein the Preacher onely following his text meets with no such occasions of inquiry much instruction about particular duties of Mariage are concealed which yet in a Treatise appointed for the nonce will offer it selfe fitly to be discussed They that are in a crowd must get through as they can but the doore standing open freely one by one may passe through with ease So is it here a Treatise hath this advantage
both by Salomon using that word and by Saint Paul calling her his glory who before was his utter shame Crownes we know are very precious things and honorable serving to grace things of chiefe eminency Emperours Kings and Princes Crownes are made of the purest gold embellished with the costliest Pearles set in with curious workmanship So again her price is said to be farre above Rubies yea Wisedome her selfe and a good wife are not far different in their descriptions no jewell is to be compared to her farre above silver yea the choisest gold Happy is he upon whose head such a crowne is set to whom heaven hath given such a gift The other party is the Man we know the man doth especially resemble the image of God and in that respect is the Wives head and although by her sinne he came to lose his honour yet if he be a good man he is a man of understanding and of an excellent spirit yea better then his neighbour Not a Ruben any longer whose dignity is gone but as Nebuchadnezzar restored againe to his former yea greater glory as Iob whose latter life was better then the former in whom the majesty authority and wisdome of God doth shine Conclude then if both the members of this body are so honorable what must the whole be If each of them be so precious what is the compound if a ring alone be rich what is it with a richer pearle enclosed in it As we see when a Prince and heire of a crowne marries a Princesse do wager how glorious is their union how honorable their concurrence This may serve for the first of the foure But least any should alledge that the Text speakes not of those that make marriage honourable but saith Marriage as such an ordinance is honourable therefore let the parties goe and come to the nature and kinde it selfe of marriage The Greeke word here used is the same which is used 2 Pet. 1. 2. and may as well be translated Precious or of worth and value a costly thing and so it well befits Marriage for why It s precious in the nature of it A Prince is a precious peece in himselfe Thou art worth ten thousand of us say the people to David without any other respects he is the delight of his Subjects an object of naturall contentation and esteeme The light of the Sunne though considered apart from the use a pearle gold skill and cunning in Arts have a peculiar splendour grace and noblenesse of nature in them and doe eminently exceede other things So marriage in the nature of it although never so much stained with the unjust aspersions of Popery and their comparisons with virginity is a precious ordinance in her nature How men by their sinne make it is not the question for a crown may be cast into the dirt but how it is I speake not now how generall consent and opinion hath setled it in worth graced it with priviledges disgraced single life which yet I approve not and granced immunities to marriage farre above it both in warre and peace as the Romans law of the claime of three Sonnes shewes but I speake of Gods owne institution of it for that 's onely honour which a King gives who himselfe devised it yea and that not as a reliefe of man fallen but an addition of perfection to his creation before ever sin entred for the order of it after all other creatures were made to entertaine and grace their Lord and Lady yea the guard of heaven to usher them into Paradise even the Father Sonne and holy Ghost consenting to propagate man created and not ceasing to create till the woman was created more especially the Lord Iesus himselfe when he needed it not yet would grace it by being the Sonne of a married Virgin and choosing to be Iosephs reputed Sonne not to speake of that honour he cast upon it when he did yeelde to doe his first divine Miracle at a Marriage Now that which a God of purenesse ordaines by a perpetuall decree of purenesse in an estate of purenesse how can it choose but have an ingraven character and formall nature of preciousnesse and honour in it This for the second The third respect is yet more for the honour of it We say it beares pricke and price which containes sweet and good price and use in one For why The very pleasing pure lustre of a pearle would make it precious of it selfe though it had no vertue or quality for use in it Marriage then is also honourable for the use of it If the Sunne be excellent for her purenesse what is it then for his influence and life the very heat and vegetation of the Creatures what should the world be save a dungeon without it And what were it but an emptinesse and vanity without the usefulnesse of marriage If light be so precious for the purenesse of it what is it for the usefull direction of it to doe the world of worke which it daily affordeth If a Prince be so honourable for his noblenesse what is he for the use to be a Father to his People to rule them with all godlinesse and honesty to feed them in Iacob and Israel usefulnesse is the varnish and lustre of honour grounding and establishing it as colours set in oyle Now then what is equall to marriage for the being or well being of life I say the being ornament or defence of it It s the prop of mutuall content the aid of nature the perfection of health wealth beauty learning honour and experience youth manhood old age whereof none is sweet where marriage supplies not the lacke It serveth not onely for the necessity of generation for how can there be warmth to one but if two lye together they have warmth but for the reliefe of such as are past it looking at the safeguard of the stocke and comfort of life Marriage is the Preservative of Chastity the Seminary of the Common-wealth seed-plot of the Church pillar under God of the world right-hand of providence supporter of lawes states orders offices gifts and services the glory of peace the sinewes of warre the maintenance of policy the life of the dead the solace of the living the ambition of virginity the foundation of Countries Cities Vniversities succession of Families Crownes and Kingdomes yea besides the being of these it s the welbeing of them being made and whatsoever is excellent in them or any other thing the very furniture of heaven in a kinde depending thereupon Fourthly it s also honourable for the solemne sacrednesse of it I meane not hereby spiritualnesse for I know its a civill ordinance and although for the better witnesse our Marriages are finisht in Churches yet marriage properly is no Sacrament But I meane that God generally hath planted a reverend esteeme of it in man and put a deepe awe of it into our mindes as all
let me speake unto you and be admonished ere it be too late ere either the one of you be swept from the other or both to destruction to consider your sinne at the first humbling your soule for it and much more for the long thred of your former course which you have spent amisse And if neither of you will at all profit by either word or workes of God while you live together but goe on hardned in your mutuall wickednesse yet when God shal separate the one from the other by death crying out lamentably of his or her sinfull course oh let the survivour be yet gastred out of his den and with that third Captaine of fifty cry out to God and say Although thou hast parted us Lord and my companion be dead in sinne yet let my life I pray thee be precious in thy sight unsettle me from those lees upon which I am setled for want of roling that I may breake off my long prophane fruitlesse conversation and seeke thy face and recover my selfe ere I depart and be seene no more Oh! it were better I grant if the Lord were so pleased that as both of you have bin partners in sinne and one corrupt flesh so you might both together repent and become one spirit in the Lord both of ye might be rouzed by his terrours out of your dead sleepe that the one being humbled might gaster his fellow and say husband wife seest thou not that Gods hand is out against us and his wrath is upon us we are under all adversity our bodies soules children and affaires nothing prospers oh we have made use a long time each of other for the divels vantage till our bones be full of the sin of our youth except we returne in time God will be avenged on us and send us to our place and long home of misery Alas we have never honoured marriage as other holy couples have done its strange patience that yet we are on this side hell let us now joyne together and turne to the Lord that if possible all may be forgotten and forgiven Oh! happy you if ever you should live to see that day happy your poore children and family whose soules you should snatch out of the fire and be instruments of pulling them out of that misery unto which you have bred them But I forbeare But there is a fourth sort of marriages whereof either party onely is religious These also are to be humbled for their ungrounded attempt the one for ventring upon an irreligious yokefellow the other for irreligious entrance Zachary and Elizabeth are commended that they were both just therfore it is a staine to such marriages as wherein either party is good the other opposite to it Example whereof we have in Scripture David and Michal Nabal and Abigail Iob and his wife The Lord who forbad to sowe one field with divers seedes or to weare a garment of linsey-wolsey much more abhors that the marriage-bed should be defiled with persons of divers religious for we know no opposition is so strong as that which is spirituall and how then should there be amity and love where the seeds of greatest enmity abide What a tempting of God is it to draw the yoke of God with one that drawes in the yoke of the Divell Oâ— as Paul speaks in the like case What fellowship is there betweene Christ and Belial the beleever and the infidell what is such an union save a monster compounded of divers natures by an adulterous mixture What a noysome thing were it for a lively and healthy body to walke with a dead caâ—casse bound to it backe to backe How long could it continue how should it avoid putrifaction as appeareth by the manner of that punishment in some cases inflicted among the Heathens as that image of Nebuchadnezzar which had the body made of mettals and the feet of clay could not abide long without dissolution so neither can that temper which consists of such contraries And hitherto adde that which one well observeth that when good and bad joyne together seldome is the worse bettered by the good but often the better is marred by the worser party The browne bread in the oven wil be sure to fleece from the white not that from it How can it otherwise be in this so neere a knot of marriage since it s seldome seene but it s so in all other fellowships when the one party is patient devout meeke sober a lover of the Word conscionable in Sabbaths and the use of meanes the other carelesse froward unchaste intemperate and prophane what a corrasive must the one needs be to the other and instead of an helper what a continuall dropping was it a savory thing thinke we to Iob to heare his wife bid him Curse God and dye himselfe being so armed with patience as to say Shall wee receive good things of God and not evill When David danced before the Lord and in the height of zeale brought home the Arke of God was it a pleasing thing to heare Micol to call him foole for his labour and although they are not so grosse as to scoffe at their husbands or wives yet what a crosse is it to have such lying in our bosomes as are of a diverse minde what complaint is so usuall in these dayes as to heare the complaints of good husbands of ill wives and wives of husbands through this desparity Some making their moane for the churlishnesse straightnesse maliciousnesse restraint from use of meanes others for other eye-sores of which sort unequall marriages are infinitely fruitfull So rare are those couples of whom it may be said They draw mutually and equally in one yoke as Zachary and Elizabeth both just diligent hearers zealous worshippers lovers of God of good men and the like And hence it is that there is oftentimes little difference betweene those families in which both be bad and those in which onely either party is good because commonly the better party makes himselfe but a prey to the other Religion must alway be the disadvantage of the party and the irreligious must beare the chiefe sway even as the elder brother will dominâ—â—e over the yonger because of his birth-right so the better party must ever looke to be the underling As we say or a syllâ—â—â—â—â—◠〈◊〉 the conclusion ever followeth the weaker 〈…〉 Alaâ— where both parties are as they ought how 〈…〉 is done â—o many croâ—â—es businessâ—â— of the world debts and temptations by sinne and Satan come betweene that even the comfort of such marriages goes neere together what good is like to be done when the one is alway thwarting the other in the duties of the family or lesser occasions I say when the maine is crazie how shall the rest be sodered But enough of these To passe therefore to another sort of couples how many husbands are of this ranke disaffected to their
but when she is perverted she proves the stronger in mischiefe The sum of all is let none that feare God venture upon those that doe not and let all seeke for their parts to be in the Lord before marriage Above all let second marriages beware of adventuring in this kinde upon each other for advantage sake an errour very rise in this kinde for enhansing themselves for jollity and a braver and fuller life then formerly they were content with for it fals out commonly that by one appendant or other as charge of children perfidiousnesse in the valuing of their estates costlinesse of diet or apparell or by some unexpected canker wasting the apple at the core God cuts their combe fils their new hopes with new sorrow and makes them wish that they were but as they have bin forfeiting all their felicity for naught So much for this Vse 4 The last Vse is Exhortation to excite and perswade all to marry in the Lord an exhortation at all times necessary but so specially necessary in these gulling and cheating dayes that who so should reject this counsell were worthy to give it himselfe too late upon costly experience And truely I lesse blame them who are of good estate fearing God for their buying good wives by forsaking greater worldly contents which commonly are joyned with greater perill for great portions commonly goe with great stomacks high spirits costly fashion and great expences They therefore who can deny a little pompe may buy much peace and redeeme both their owne and their childrens safety with a little selfe-deniall in outward respects whenas they are fure to gaine it in spirituall But I digresse not Still I presse the point Marry in this Lord concerning the which I would commend three duties to the well-affected The first concerning youth before their entrance into this estate The second more closely concerning such as purpose to change their estate The third concerning them upon their contract Touching the first the dutie of yong ones growing up toward this estate is this That they redeeme their golden opportunity of youth and single life improving all such helps either publique or private all such counsels of their ancients all examples of such as are commendable in this kinde especially any such motions of the spirit in the ordinances whereby they are inclined to seeke the Lord to be their portion in pardon and grace Remember this is your season of getting about you such a stocke of provision as may hereafter stand by you This is your golden time each period following will prove worse downward even brasse iron and clay Marke how the greater sort of youth dally out their precious time never setting their hearts to Remember their Creator in the dayes of their youth but to licke up the common scurfe of the times to learne fashions complements carriage which a vaile little for the maine to stand upon their great births portions or hopes and so to live bravely But how to be fit for such a solemne change I speake not of death for that 's out of thought out of season for youth but of marriage if God bring them to it that so out of the treasure which they have gotten they may bring forth direction how to order themselves or make their estate honourable and comfortable its furthest from their thought What doe you heare that the chiefe way to honour marriage is entring with the Lord and doe you not conclude that so weighty a matter will cost you a great deale of preparing What should you then doe beforehand Surely as your parents are busie about providing your portion which is their worke so be you busied a better way about that one thing necessary to get the pearle in the field to seeke the Lord while that he may be found Heathen Poets bring in Virgins upon the stage professing that they take no thought for their matches they looke at modesty and good report The lesse you are busied about things lesse needfull the more may you attend that one thing which shall never be taken from you Except in these dayes of your youth wherein each thing is sweet the maine worke be thought of the dayes are coming and that perhaps long ere old age of which you shall say you have no pleasure in such objects there may come a day of uncomfortable marriage losses of estate death of husband of wife sorrow of heart for your ill matching and then how will you doe Is it not just to such as set the chiefe things behinde yes verily Remember our Saviours words to Peter When thou wast yong thou girdedst thy selfe and went'st whither thou wouldst but when thou art old another shall gird thee and lead thee whither thou wouldest not Thou mayest perhaps meet with an unpleasing girdle thy great charge of children calling for thy care and maintenance the world frowning upon thee and not answering thy hopes a riotous and spend thristy husband or waspish and untoward wife for so it may be when thou hast sought the greatest prevention of it if God will so try thee debts diseases reproaches pursuing thee in the midst of all these little leisure to wait upon the Ordinances which should infuse the grace of support into thee and perhaps which is worst as small an heart after it Then when all these have made they life unpleasant and thy conscience coming upon all with a worse streame and causing an overflow of sorrow unto thee what shalt thou doe God hath dealt righteously in it because thou contemnest all helpes in thy youth and therefore in thy trouble sends thee to thy idoll beauty money will laughing at thy misery how wilt thou then wish thou hadst but that former liberty granted thee to marry in the Lord Oh! how eagerly are things loved out of their season Alas the spirit blowes where it lists time and tide must not stay upon thee thou hadst them and wouldest not use the watchwords thereof wisely why should the spirit any longer strive with thee but rather suffer thy sailes to stand still for ever If this then be the time of girding thy loynes with grace for time to come gird them with that precious girdle of knowledge sincerity selfe-denyall faith patience and the like learne to weare the yoke of God from thy youth and it shall not pinch thee in thine age By this girding of thine owne soule thou shalt be fit to admit of Gods unpleasing girdles for time to come crosses if they come shall befall thee in thine innocency so as thou shalt know how to defray them and the Lord shall be afflicted with thee in thy afflictions and teach thee how to passe thy marriage with comfort But if this counsell will doe thee no good but perhaps thou hast learned to doe as the world doth that is to welter in thy sorrowes and to beare them off with head and shoulders so that thou canst goe
damnifie the rest of their better deserving children and either must runne themselves into endlesse debts by borrowing for them or else be at their curtesie for the releasing of that which they might have kept still in their owne hands By this folly they doe a double mischiefe for first they set the elder on float to be some great persons and raise up their spirits above their estates drawing them to great expence company and at last to ruine and then for the making of the eldest a Gentleman they must leave the rest to beggery either basely to depend upon their brother for meanes which commonly falls short and comes to nothing or else to take debauched courses to steale to sherke for their living Thus the folly of parents upon the sequele of their childrens first matching filles the world with bare yonger bretheren with hangbies and idle ones snaring them with perpetuall discord and quarrells and at last bringing them to most dishonorable ends No no you parents be wise God hath made you your childrens carvers Set your house in order and doe not make confusion among your posterity to please the humor of one child let all have childrens parts Doe not rush your selves into such debts as your heires must be faine to take all and pay all and so fleece the rest Let the eldest carrying himselfe well have a double portion education being considered which the eldest are surest of and the rest a competent allowance for perhaps they may do as much good in their places after as the elder if not more for grace doth not alway goe with Birthright But above all follies in this kind that is most eminent when parents to make their children great thrust themselves out of all that their children might succeed them in their places holding the candle to them while they doe all and act their parts upon the stage And by this meanes both father and mother which have lived in good sort all their time come in their old daies to depend wholy upon their childrens curtesie That part of their life which of all others requires best attendance and maintenance must now become most shiftlesse and desolate They must come out of the hall into the kitchâ—n sit at tables end or in the chimny corner with a poore pittance sent them and at last die in discontent and repenting themselves of their folly But if they may be at good tearmes upon condition of being their servants both without doors and within as droils and drudges they may deeme themselves well apayd For when all strength and ability is gone then are they no longer set by but cast up for hawkes meat despised counted as burdens wherefore to be eased would be no small joy to their children And it its worse with some parents because they live to see all spent and consumed e're they die one and other â—tocke and branches all withered and come to naught Be wise you parents yeeld not your selves captives and prisoners to your children no prison can bee more yrkesome to a parent then a sonne or daughters house Trust neither of them in this case for in truth your selves make the snare and your children put it on you you wrong your children in putting that into their hands which God hath denied them Love must descend not ascend it s not naturall saith Paul for children to provide for parents but for parents to provide for them therefore invert not providence Looke to your consent and looke to those consequences following upon your consent be sure to hold stroake sufficient in your hand for the securing of love and duty from your children You will say all children are not alike in this case its true but the best will bite and the ordinance of God must be attended unto as the first rule in such cases as these Sure bind sure find if you must needs come downe rather chuse to fall into the hands of God then your children Neither must I passe by Guardians and Governours of Orphans in this point many of whom being left as menagers of the stocks and portions of children being now secure of any eie to see or judge them doe most treacherously betray pooore children to misery both before and in their marriages They make the childrens monies payments of their debts enhansing of their owne states and houskeepings bringing up the children at meane termes binding them to base masters and exposing them to the hardest conditions for back belly and conscience When their time of payments come they bring in great billes of expences under color and pretend great debts and charges lying upon them for the execution of the wills of the deceased As for their matches they put them off to inferiour persons such as very mean portions may content and satisfie interverting the rest to their owne ends and by one cunning slight or other eluding the allegations and complaints of their orphans and leaving them to stand to their lot or else to sinke in their sorrowes Our daies are full of these examples and as full of the just hand of God upon such privie theeves and traytors as those Another sort of Guardians authorized by the law to be so although of late God be thanked better order is taken that parents or next of kâ—n may be the undertakers for the children if they will goe to the price doe make a meere marquet of their orphans and sell them as sheepe and swine for money Quite overthrowing the purpose of the law which is to be faithfull for the good of the orphan Instead of offering yea providing meet wives for them such as might bee very way sutable to their place birth and worth what doe they Surely they turne to the spoile and offer them such as they know will be unwelcome and so thereby purchase a great fine unto themselves and leave them to their owne choice and fortunes Others more dishonestly force base and inconvenient matches upon them either matching them to their owne children and so raysing their owne estates thereby or else selling them for mony to others and which is worst of all lest the orphan should suspect and shunne the offer propounded what doe they They marry them in their childhood at 10. 12. or 13. yeares of age long before the time of meet cohabitation sending the one to travaile till he have fulfilled his yong wives yeares who when they returne come to them with a forced affection and that breeds disdaine where there should be greatest affection And hereby growes such distaste betweene the parties that they abandon each others fellowship bed and boord expose each others to most desperate snares and to promiscuous lusts and if there be any reconciliation wrought it s but violent and the cursed fruits of the separation doe so distemper their hearts that they fall at new jarres for their unchastity and disloialty of bodies they renounce some of the children as none of their owne and so doe but
her beauty but her bane her devotion but profanenesse She that thought no crumbe clave to her lips because she had paid her vowes yet escapes not her eternall reproach because she was a disloyall harlot Tell me wert thou married to a chast wife blind of an eie lame of an hand a legge whether wouldest thou change her for one sound in all being unchast I trow not That which then covers all wants is worth the due improoving and carefull attendance Reas 5 Fiftly this chastity is the corner stone that holdes in all the parts of the building A chast wife hath her eies open eares watching heart attending upon the welfare of the family husband children and servants she thinks that all concerne her estate content posterity this rivets her into the house makes her husband trust to her commit all to her heart and all But the unchast having lost his or her heart is loosened from the whole body thinks nothing perteining to her is ready to part the children leaving the lawfully and chusing the misbegotten for her portion that so she may goe to her Paramour That which Saul through mistake thought Michal would prove to David that doth an unchast one without doubt prove to her husband a very snare That which I said before of love may be said of her sister chastity she is painfull close doth all things hopeth believeth endureth all things without grudging The frost is nothing by night the heate by day toile in both because he loveth her she him each are faithfull loiall to other Who should not nourish that tree which hath such branches Whereupon some thinke the English and Latine wordes Chaste do come from a greeke word signifying to Adorne noting that Chastity is one of the cheefe ornaments of the married and so of all in either sexe One saith As the face of a statue or faire picture razed or the head rent off so is the most beautifull rich honorable person if Chastity be gone Its as that father speaks The Ornament of the Noble the exaltation of the low the Beauty of the Abject the solace of the sorrowfull the encrease of beauty the glory of religion the friend of the Creator Reas 6 Lastly Chastity preserves marriage in honor and ought to be jointly againe preserved because it preserves that joint â—lessiâ—g of God which makes it honorable and that in sundry respects 1. of the fruitfulnesse of the wombe Many thinke a fruitfull posterity rather a crosse then a blessing but the godly are of his mynd who sayde she shal be as the fruitfull vine by the side of thine house and thy children as olyve plants round about thy table The adulterer and adulteresse are cursed with barren wombes fruitlesse bodies There is not now such a cursed water to try the uncleane by rotting the wombe and bowells of the harlot nor to become a water of blessing to the chast But in stead thereof there is a curse of God upon the one and a blessing upon the other Even the adulterine mixtures of Beasts as the Mule comming from the Asse and the Mare have a brande of barrennesse nature stopping all infinitenesse and confusion as most contrary to her selfe how much more the bodies of adulterous husbandes and wives and wheras it is objected Object some harlots are fruitfull and some chast wyves are barren Answ the answere is still the curse holdes upon the bastard fruite of the one and the blessing upon the soule of the other As the Prophet encourages those holy Eunuches that kept God Sabbaths that it should go better with them then if they had sons and daughters even a place should be given them in the house of God and an everlasting name that never should be cut off So doth he here to all chast ones when he cuts off the cursed race of the uncleane then he continues to the godly though barren a better name then posterity could atteyne unto Secondly to the chast belongs the blessing of legitimation but to the uncleane the curse of illegitimate ones to bring Bastards into the family as lawful heyres how execrable and how unnaturall is it The children of Gilead cast out Iephtah bcause he was the strangers issue Sara sayd well of Ishmael The son of this stranger though of her owne gift shal not inherit with my son Isaac But the curse of Adultrous is to leave their wealth to bastards As the Lord cursed the garment made of mixt lmsey and wolsey the field sowne with sundry kinds of graine together so much more the illegitimate posterity of defiled persons As Eagles fethers consume the fethers of other foules so the unlawfull brood of the uncleane devoures he lawfull till at last that fire consume them and all which is threatned the children of the whore the Adulterer for it was unlawful fire that begat theÌ„ the same shall kindle and burne till it have destroied them And thirdly to the Chaste eveÌ„ a curse is turned to a blessing The sorrowes of conception and birth turne to the salvation of the pure and Chast beeing faythfull wheras the blessing of marriage turneth to a curse to the other As all things are impure to the impure as the ceremony also made the things and vessel to be defiled whether wood or stone which the leper touched But especially to the impure in bodies yea their very consciences are as impure as their flesh and therby whatsoever thy doe touch use partake or possesse is made filthy because their nasty consciences tell them so Even so To the pure all things become pure As our Saviour saith of almes Give almes to the poore of that you have and all the whole lumpe of your estate shal be cleane vnto you So here If couples keep themselves pure in body and spirit pure are their prayers readings conference Sabbaths Sacraments service of God yea in Christ all things are pure unto them their health estate eating and drinking duties fellowship and benevolence bed and board and all they take in hand Now to finish the reason if it be under such a threefold blessing then ought so happie a vertue as Chastity to be jointly preserved by both the married persons Quest But heer it wil be demanded how should Chastity in Marriage be preserved and in how many things standes it I answ In these foure First in the Chastity of the spirit Secondly of prevention Thirdly of the Bed Lastly of the Body Answ For the first the center of Chastity is the minde and spirit If that bee pure there neede bee no keepers as he once saide of those Romanes the richer sort of whom kept their wyves chastity by Eunuches if that bee uncleane no keepers will serve the turne unbrideled luste like the wilde fig will soone mount over the wall The first care then must bee to keepe that cleane from whence as our Saviour saith
therof It s an honour to an house to be frequented by the great and honorable How much more when the Lord of heaven and earth shall condescend to dwell in our houses to come in to sit and sup with us whom should he sooner doe so unto then to the peaceable and consenting we know that old maxime of Machiavell if thou wilt reigne divide And our Savior affirmes it If Satan cast out Satan how shall his Kingdome endure No surely Satan must cast out unity and amity if he meane to reigne that he may bring in hellish discord and confusion Even so if God will reigne hee must cast out Satan that he may bring in union and consent between couples There is no agreement betwixt Christ and Belial light and darknes Then and never till then shall religion prayer Sabbathduties holy exercises love to the Saints be enterteyned when consent hath taken up the roome of each others heart So much may serve for Reasons But wherin may some say standes this Consent Answ I answer By these few heads it may bee conceived for the particulars of consent they are infinite as the occasions of life are First in consent of spirit of minde I meane and affection Secondly consent of speech or the tongue Thirdly consent of practice and endeavors For the first of these The principle of marriage consent must be rooted in the heart That each thinke and affect the same things As in Ezekiel its saide of the beasts and the wheeles that when the one went forward the other did so and when the beasts were lifted up the wheeles were lifted up for the spirits of the beaâ—ts were in the wheeles So ought it to be between couples one judgement one mind one heart one soule in two bodies the spirit of the wife in the husband and his in the Lord. That which the flatterer saith in the CoÌ„edy the hatred of the name beeing remooved that should the wife say to the husband Sayst thou a thing So say I. Deniest thou I deny it too And in a word I am prepared for the nonce to agree with thee in all things good honest What is more beautifull to behold in marriage theÌ„ that wherof it is a ResemblaÌ„ce I meane the harmony betweene the Lord Iesus the head and the members to wit his Church Reade the Canticles See how the Church ecchoeth her husbands voyce in all he speaks see how shee pleases her selfe in his comely proportion attire gestures And he againe in hers how shee depends wholly upon his becke and countenance joies in his presence mournes in his absence repozes her selfe in his bosome beeing asleep watcheth his awaking followes after him hangs upon him in his departing longs for his returne and having lost him runs after him as one distracted and bewraies her life to be bound up in his as Iacobs in Benjamins This inward complacence welpleasing and welapayednesse of couples in each other is the very quintessence of marriage peace and contentment As in the mysticall body of Christ we see what an instinct is in them to maynteine their owne beeing in the welfare of each other All envy wrath suspicion jealousie unkindnes pride censure and whatsoever else savoring of selflove and seperation beeing odious to them Each doing his owne service content with his owne portion mourning with any that is ill at ease and glad of their welfare Secondly this consent must be in the speech and language of them both It s true generally but in this point specially That speech is the discoverer of the mind Looke what the abundance of the heart is that will vent it selfe at the mouth So the husband and wife should answer to each other as Iehoshaphat to Iehoram I am as thou art my people are as thine my horses as thine Yea the speech of each to other should bee without flattery as the glasse to behold each other in As face answers to face in the water so doth a man accomodate himselfe to his friend sayth Salomon how much more the husband and wife to each other They should even resemble each the others frame and temper in the Lord with all ingenuity As the beames do represent the Sun in her heat and light so should the sweet carriage of the wife argue the body which gives her influence even her husbands vertues And lastly there ought not onely to be this harmony in presence onely but in absence also even in the way of their Conversation abroad in company in duties of Sabbath of Christian communion whether together or asunder such should be the reflexion of a wives carriage that all that see her may see the wisdome thoughts affections of the husband in her not a carriage of her owne as of one severed from his way slighting his as if shee were wiser but humbly submitting judgment will and spirit to his in the Lord and where there is any difference so it be grounded keeping it secret and acquainting God with it as shee did when she felt strife in her wombe that he might reconcile it and settle it aright in time For in such a Case discreet concealment will far sooner reduce them together then open expression of their differences The actions of the one should bee the shadow of the others yea a modell thereof As it was once betweene David and his new subjects whatsoever liked David that was presently pleasing to all his people they agreed at an haires bredth This threefold corde of heart mouth and worke is not easily broken Vses I shall make these three appear better in uses of the point to the which I hasten Vse 1 First then what bitter reproofe is this to the most even of such as seeme to stand to Gods barre and triall I passe by the ruder sort of barbarous people rusticall and profane who never yet came into the garden where this grace grew such as passe their daies eyther in brutish and Nabalish churlishnes brawling fighting and quarrelling together or else consent onely in evill serving each the others turne according to those vices they are enclined unto as the world to take together portions for their childreÌ„ by hooke or crooke or pleasures and libertyes or pride of life and fashions or envious pursuit of their Enemâ—es slander or the like sins of the tongue I say to leave such who would looke for such differences of spirit and temper among such as pretend great zeale in profession A man would thinke when hee lookes narrowly into them that they are set as marks of opposition each to other then resemblers of their affections joyes and desires verely I have often seen it to the shame of such I speake it that among some ignorant couples whom onely naturall likenes of maners or civill education hath handsomed there is found more love and accorde then among some such as daily keep on foot the worship of God in their families Shall I praise
fighting with it owne shadow then be at peace I say when a Nabal sees an Abigail watch her opportunity loath to provoke him in his madnesse willing to hold off whatsoever might disquiet and further what might please and satisfie how can he but at last breake his heart in her bosome and say come my deare wife thou art more righteous then I for I have sought thy griefe but thou hast overcome me with thy wisdome and meeknes thou hast heaped hot coales upon the head of a froward husband and made me ashamed to behold the ugly hieu of my passion in the glasse of thy meeknesse and discretion And this for Admonition Vse 4 The last use briefely shall be Exhortation Strive all ye husbands and wives who seeke to live in godlinesse and honour to establish mutuall amity in your spirits and consent in your conversation Alas husbands and wives should be as two sweet friends bred under one constellation tempered by an influence from heaven whereof neither can give any great reason save that mercy and providence first made them so and then made their match Saying see God hath determined us out of this vast world each for other perhaps many may deserve as well but yet to me and for my turne thou excellest them all and God hath made me to thinke so not for formality sake to say but because it is so When I consider that we are not met onely but met as we should doe not as many mismatcht ones are meeter for some other man and woman then each for other so that we can say as he in his Motto what we are we would be and would be no other then we are the onely meet ones for one another oh then how it raises up my spirit to admire and magnifie Gods dispensation Oh if it were thus how sweet were it to see married ones to live together As the Arke carried by the power of God above the highest mountaine in the world fifteene Cubits so should mercy carry them above all contentions and garboiles that they should know no such As they say the tops of some high hils are above the middle region and so above all those vapors of frost and snow and wyndes which inferior groundes are infested withall so so should these bee above far worse and behold others beneath molested with such things even with wondring at their happy escape And as all the hills and dales which make the parts of that earth where they are unequall but cannot hinder the roundnesse of it because the circular figure of the whole swallowes up all particular uneevennesses into it selfe so should those passages of unequality betweene couples here and there passionate heates and dissentings each from other be drowned in this consent so that they should vanish as cloudes without rayne and storme though not without some darknesse and lowring And if ought did befall otherwise then meetly how should each outstrip the other afterward in humiliation and Repentance Oh base wretch shouldst thou say should I bee weary of welfare Should I returne to nourish secret poyson in mine heart to hazard my precious peace and should I venter all upon a cast to try whether mine bee mine owne or not Shall one dead fly defile a whole box of precious oyntment No farre bee it from mee to forsake my fatnesse and sweetnes by which I have cherisht the heart of God and man of wife of husband like that bramble exalting it selfe above the trees to beare up my selfe above against each other by confusion and discord No Farre bee it from us to suffer the noyse of Hammers Sawes or axes to bee heard in our Temples hereafter wee were squared in Gods mount by his workmanship not needing now any such edgetooles Rather let us be like him who was typified hereby whose voyce was not lifted up nor heard in the strets who never trod upon a bug or worme to kill it brake not the bruised reed nor quencht the smoking flaxe As he the head of his Church is to his Church so will I bee to my spouse and beloved amiable and consenting Enough to marriage is the necessary unavoydable greefe of it such as must be in it by Gods allowance for triall I will not seeke to adde needlesse to necessary but pull away as much as I can and when the needlesse is takē off then shall the necessary be the better born Offences must come occasiōs wil arise Pharao's owne privy chamber cannot be free frō frogs aswell as other common mens the sweetest May-moneth may have frosty mornings and cold evenings yea there wil be sad dayes and sorrowfull affronts at one time or other able to affront the most peaceable But the peace of God and marriage which passe understanding the peace of Conscience and family running in a streame together will keep the heartes of the good so firme and stable that they will lose their willes and humors ten tymes rather then this jewell And if when all is done there must some dreg of old Adam cleave still it shall not bee for hurt all shall turne for best to the peaceable to search all which is in their hearts to keepe them humble to exercise selfedeniall and to teach them that the best marriages upon earth must have their eyesores lest we should say its good beeing here for the best and purest peace wil bee in heaven where there shal bee no such relations as these but all fulfilled in our eternall conjunction with our head the Lord Iesus Also it must teach them even when the weather is most contrary yet to imitate the skill of the Marryner who will not strive against the wyndes but rather coast and fetch a compasse to gaine ground and further his travaile And so I finish this last of these mutuall duties of the marryed which is consent Ensue peace with all especially with your selves Ground it in that peace with God to pardon and accept you and this will be as the rush growing in the mire a peace alway maynteind by a better never fayling Walke according to this rule and the peace of God shal be with you Try no carnall conclusions tempt not God be not weary of welfare Though it should turn from you yet follow take it by the lap of the garmēt hold it fast it s the free-simple of good couples Let it rule overrule to forgoe any thing rather then it They who angle with golden hooks had need looke to it lest if they lose their hooke all their catch equall not their losse And so doing consent shall make your marriage honorable till it bring you to enjoy that peace and blessed consent of Saints in glory which shal bee a perfect sweet without any bitter a life without end And so much also for this Chapter and for these 4. Duties mutually concerning Mariage for the preserving of the integrity and comfort therof CHAP. X. Returne to
even in the eyes of them among whom he lives How is both Church Commonwealth Towne beholding to such as are provident for the upholding of peace the Gospell the poore If all were careles Husbands what must become of all these Some I grant shall ever be poor but these subsist in all these respects by the aide of the Provident when as spend thrifts do nothing but pull downe the house with their hands The conclusion is If the personall diligence of the husband do so much honor his marriage he hath good cause to put to his best care to be provident Quest But here is the question wherein this Providence of his consists For answer wherto I conceive that this point might tempt mee to enter into a Commonplace of Providence But I will waive that in this place attending the pointe as here it standes cutting off whatsoever doth not peculiarly touch this relation Answ I say then This gift stands in sundry points First and principally it standes in learning perfectly the trade of his way even while he is yong If there must be teachers Teach a childe c. then there must be learners This is the Seminary of Providence in husbands that they have learned their way in youth There must then be a foresight of things to come in youth and a willing subjection of themselves to such wisedome and painfulnesse as may enable them with skill sufficient in their trade of life what sort soever it bee of to bee provident The very Pismire is taught by instinct but it s not so heer man must be trayned with much adoe and discipline to be provident First by wisedome he is to shun all unlawfull scandalous and base wayes or Trades of life apply himselfe to that way which is most warrantable best agreeable to his nature whether ingenuous or mechanicall and that by the direction of his wisest Governors and friends Mocke trades savoring halfe of idlenes halfe of worke base Trades which import a shifting indirect and ill reported way of Support and profane Godlesse Trades of life must be abhorred Such as to be a Serving man for inheritance to keep an Alehouse or bowling Alley to be a stageplayer Dancer or the like Secondly he must compasse for himself through Gods blessing by the learning the mistery of this or that meet Trade ability experience to himselfe to make him a provident husband He must have his eyes in his head to observe and marke the secret of his way that he may get insight and experience he must not be so wise in his owne way as to slight them who should teach him the right way which may maynteyne him afterward But he must subject himselfe with teachablenesse to their direction that an habite of skill may accrue therby For not onely through the totall lacke of a trade but the halfe still in the trade and inexpertnesse therin many of all sorts procure to themselves most uncomforable and shifting courses in marriage whether bred to meanes or wanting them To this adde curiosity and giddinesse of braine in medling with many trades and fickle wearinesse in attending upon thine owne carrying a busie heart and eye over the trades of others having many irons in the fire at once so that some must needs be marred this error must be abhorred And there is none more common and yet very dangerous stealing away the heart from a setled applying of the mind to one thing distracting it to many as we see how many curious braines prying into things beyond their skill and trying conclusions for the satisfying of their humorous spirit have layd all their estate and hopes in the dust Thirdly a stock must follow skill to helpe the improoving of skill The best husband may sit still if he want wherewithall Yet we must know a little stock is a stock as well as a great one all have not the like abilities but all sorts must be occupied about their stocks more or lesse They who have but one talent have sutable expences or contentment in lesse they must not bury it but imploy it as farre as a little will extend looking at the promise Though thy beginning bee but small yet thy latter end shall bee full of encrease Although other trades outstrip them by their stockes yet they go not so fast forwarde but providence and blessing may follow and sometymes overtake them if there be faith and patience to wayte and not be discouraged Each mans stocke is his owne or ought to bee Such as have not the patience to bee doing with a little but must hasten beyond rule to borrow and rake a stocke together or to follow their first Credit out of breath till they loade themselves with more dealings then they can digest are not like to atteyne to much but lay a foundation of Bankerupts For a competent stock followed with moderate diligence though it be sure of no great encrease yet usually frees the owner from excessive losses which are much worse then slow gaines Fourthly skill and Stocke beeing gotten though some trades consist more in manuall worke then stock and others in the activity of the mynde not the body there must be an of the one to the other else providence fayles The upper milstone of skill must run upon the other of Stock The hand the saw are not enough to cut the log in two there must be an hand of life to moove and draw the one upon the other and so some what comes of it This Mort-maine of sloth will spoile providence what skill and stock so ever there bee besides therfore there must bee all dexterity cheerfulnes and painfulnes exercised to keep life in a trade A wise seasonable taking in of wares of Commodities at the best hand paying old scores ere new bee made warily and a putting off in season not overpassing our best marquet and opportunity an accomodating plyable and acceptable spirit to traffique with others a fine gift to be a Chapman if it go without basenes and flattery and with truth and simplicity To bee as ready to put off or take in without eyther rashnes in the one or covetousnes in the other are all meet properties for a provident husband The Apostle Rom. 12. 11. hath one sweet rule for this Not slothfull in businesse but fervent in spirit serving the Lord. q. d. So far as Gods worke is not hindred by our owne it s a comely sight to see a man active in his employment The diligent hand saith Salomon maketh rich and in all labor there is abundance if it be wise He sayd not amisse that sayde I love when I eate my meate to eate heartily and when I am at work to follow it closely so to do each thing as if for the present I did nothing else It s a common saying He that keepes his shop his shop will keep him The speech is usuall It s not enough not
he ever feele himself burne if shee were weake What affliction of body or mynde coulde he ever fynd in his heart to condole for his wife What one kid gave he at any time to her out of his flocke or twelve pence out of his purse to make merry withall what one lap of his garment did he ever spread over her Or what I say not blast of cold wind but sad crosse did he ever keep in tendernesse from her himselfe being both a nipping East wind to blast her hopes and a perpetuall dropping to dwell with Many an infamy and blot hath he suffred to light upon her head though he needed not himselfe being the upshot of all Oh the snares which such unnaturall wretches bring upon innocent women but ease them of none Oh the narrow eye they carry over them watching them as the Cat the mouse from either good Sermon hearing loving friends frequenting abroad or Christian company at home Stripping their bodies of good clothes their purses of mony their hearts of delight their soules of grace as much as in them lies if grace were not past their reach to rob them of what one peny ever gave they them for good use If they knew of any who should endure the tempest of their violence they will see their owne turnes served to the uttermost But as for easing them of their burdens or being drawne to resigne up their lusts and loose liberties to joine with their wives in the burden of house government those Israelitish bondmen were as good complayne to Pharao or those other subjects to Râ—hoboam as they to their husbands for their tale of bricke should be but multiplyed their fingers should proove heavier theÌ„ their loyns before I might be endlesse But I blame only the faulty for I know and God forbid else all are not alike Many not onely irreligious but meerly civil ignorant ones have had tender melting hearts to their wyves so unnaturall wretches are all unmercifull respectlesse husbands in this kynd even bred upon the rockes and nursed up by Tygres yea fiendes in the likenesse of men Let them alone but O thou woman that fearest God persist neverthelesse in thy uprightnesse serve God not man and vile man for Gods sake do not repent thee of thy goodnesse give thy worke to God still heape up hot coales upon the head of the Barbarous if they melt not they shal burne to hel bear a while he that commeth will come not tarry causing thy light to breake out as the morning and thy Righteousnes as the noone day He shal plead the cause of the despised wife and quit her of her adversary bringing his wickednes upon his owne pate And of this third severall duty of giving honor and so of all the three thus much be spoken CHAP. XIII Treates of the personall dutyes of the wife Ana first of her Subjection to her husband IT is high time now having dispatched the husbands duties to proceed to the next branch in which the preserving of Matrimoniall Honor consists to wit the peculiar duties of the wife to the husband Else I know husbands would taxe mee for partiality and I confesse as I have no cause to conceale the priviledges of the good wife from her husband so neither must I withhold from her the knowledge of her offices and services towards him The first and maine wherof comprehending all the rest is subjection to her husband the second is helpfulnes the third Gracefulnes By her subjection she answers his understanding By her helpfulnesse she equals his providence by her gracefulnesse she supplies his tender respectivenesse in a word she answers him as face to face in water so shee in marriage service with all correspondence Else how shall the relation hold firme and entire First then of the first This duty then of subjection is the womans great and cheefe commandement and as St. Iames saith he that can rule his tongne is a perfect man can rule his whole conversation so shee who hath learned to be subject for as Paul Philip. 4. is not ashamed to say of that grace of contentation that he had learned it so may the woman say of this is a perfect woman That which was wont to be said of prounciation in Rhetorique and of humility in Divinity that may be said of Subjection in this businesse of the wife Its breadth and length it fills up all yea it s all in all the whole duty of the womaÌ„ all other sticke at this grant this and all other follow of themselves Now then this great dutie of subjection so much cavild at by the Rebellious so much honored by the dutifull and loyall wife must have a good foundation both for the convincement of the bad and for the encouragement of the good The warrant then of this duty stands not in the opinion choise or will of man or flesh no nor of nations because the world will have it so for there is a world of women to gainsay as well as of men to alledge it But it is a firme law from the will of the first ordeyner because God will have it so That very strict Imperiall Edict of Ahashuerosh that Every man should bear rule in his owne house proceeded in a sort from a discontent with Vashti a desire to be revenged for the dishonor offred Ahashuerosh her husband and for prevention of the like for time to come But if all this streame of Authority had not met with another more strong one of divine Ordinance alas it had beene no more terror to the sexe of women then swordes and spears to the Whales skin even as stubble and rotten wood No no it s an instinct put into the spirit of the woman principling and convincing her understanding will and affections viz. The great God of heaven and earth will have it so Reasons 1 Wherof two reasons may be given the one from the law of creatioÌ„ the other from the law of Penalty following disobedience For the first The man we know was first created as a perfect Creature and not the woman with him at 〈…〉 as we know both sexes of all other 〈…〉 not so here But after his constitution and frame ended then was she thought of Secondly she was not made of the same matter with the man equally but she was made and framed of the man by a rib taken from the man and being formed by God into a woman was brought unto the man And thirdly she was made for the maÌ„s use and benefit as a meet helper when no other creature besides her was not able to do it Three weighty reasons and grounds of the womans subjection to the man and that from the purpose of the Creator who else might have done otherwise that is yeelded to the woman coequall beginning samenesse of generation or relation of usefulnesse For he might have made her without any such precedency of matter without
thy husband on earth and please a better in heaven who will bring forth his doves from the crocky pots and that with honor when they commit themselves to him in their innocency Wheras flattering and temporising women who in shew will hold with God but yet keep quarter with ungodly husbands for their own ends shall at last be detected for hypocrites and rewarded with reproach and dishonor I shall insist in the next Chapter in another Exception which allowes a woman such a libertie in Gods matters with her husband as to prompt and occasion unto him Christian speech good counsell with modestie and in season for the subjection we treate of is not flavish but equall royall in a sort as I have noted But to go on Shee is not so to be subject as if in all cases she ought alike to stand or fall at the barre and prerogative of her husbands will Some cases fall out betweene them of greater difficulty doubt and danger then ordinary such as extend to the hazarde of estate children yea liberty and life it selfe In such cases if they be but arbitrary as removall from present dwelling upon great charge and losse or to places of ill health ill neighbors with losse of Gospell long voyages by sea to remote Plantations or in the sudden change of Trades or venturing of a stocke upon some new project lending out or borrowing of great sums avoyding of debts setling of estate providing for children costly buildings great enterteynments beyond ability or such like instances wherin the woman is like to share as deep in the sorrow if not more then the husband reason good shee should share in the advise and not be compelled to obey perforce An husband perhaps in such cases may necessitate his wife to yeeld but he doth her the more wrong for God in such cases leaves her to her freedome Could a Martyr in Queene Marles dayes compell his wife to suffer in the same cause with himselfe although both were of the same judgment No for her Conscience was her owne and his measure might haply exceed hers many degrees both in knowledge faith and Courage It hath bine by some very strangely determined that if an husband be resolved upon a remote plantation the wife must follow by hand and by head But under correction it s neither so nor so headship is not given the husband to destroy but to helpe and edifye She hath a judgement to inform as well as he must see her groundes cleere as wel as he she must have leasure tyme to deliberate of it as well as he till she be resolved that she may do that in faith which shee doth Therfore with modesty and discretion it s allowed her to deliberate to alledge her reasons by her selfe or by her friends submitting them to the judgement of wiser then her selfe and as shee shal be cast and adjudged so to deny her selfe and obey either way And when Gods will is made knowne eyther he or shee are to rest without further distemper each with other Meane while the husband is not to insult threaten and domineer over her as a Lord who had his wives will captived to his owne neither to desert and depart from her in a desperate way but by all loving waies tenderly to draw her and convince her by the strength of reason and the bowells of compassion God speakes not now by lively voice from heaven in such doubtfull cases as once he pleased to doe in times past Sara therby knew Gods will in her jorne is too and fro as well as Abraham and had his promise of protection aswell as he therfore her Subjection ties not women in like adventures now as then But now doubtfull cases must be scanned and determined according to the neerest that Scripture or reason import that so her obedience may rather flow from consent then compulsion Thus I have sayde more of the first branch then I had intended to do not so properly as necessarily to spare my selfe a labour in another place let me now sound retreat to my readers thoughts and come to the second branch of my division that is the subjection of the womans practice Which although it be but a shadow without the other yet that must not pass for the whole paiment of the debt for who may not say their heart is good this way when as their conversation shews it not But a subject heart appeares best when a woman saies little of that which is within but leaves to them to judge who heare and see And this practice of the womans subjection must appeare in these three particulars in matters of Gods worship in matter of the world and in her marriage converse For the first she is with an awful and single eie and honouring heart to behold in her husband the gifts of God As namely that ability which God hath given him to be in Gods steed unto her in all things pertayning unto her soule as also to menage the services of God with her either in the family or apart as to reade the word judiciously to catechize and informe in the grounds of religion distinctly to admonish the family against the sinnes and exhort inferiors to the duties of their order and condition wife children so jorners servants I say she ought so to observe Gods image in these gifts of her husband as to feel no spirit in her to despise him to gain say to compare or censure them Yea though her own gifts be more then ordinary yet to conceale suppress them in this kind except her husband shall at any time desire to bee partaker therof in private for his spirituall quickning and then with all humble self deniall to impart her selfe with him and enjoy them to her self in subjection Note it that the Apost when he is in the midst of his urging this duty to the wife then doth he touch this point saying let the woman learne in silence and I suffer not the woman to teach or usurpe authority over the man but to be in silence You must note that in this age the spirit of God was powred upon all flesh so that women as well as men had great gifts of understanding and prophecy vouchsafed them which no doubt might put them forward to expresse themselves before their husbands Now if such women then how much more must ordinary womē be subject in this kind to their husbands She ought indeed to encourage her husband cordially to proceed in such a course shewing it to be the joy of her heart when she sees him to set up God in the family She is to remove to the uttermost all lets and stops which might offend as unseasonable attendance upon businesse which commonly offers it selfe most when it least should also the complaints and trouble of childrē with other occasions of the family as that might by her wise prevention be cast upō other times as wel I
of the wife viz. helpfulnesse so much CHAP. XV. Concludeth with the third and last Severall Duty of the wife to wit her Gracefulnesse I Conclude now the discourse about the severall duties of the woman to the man whereof this is the last to wit her gracefulnesse The former alone without this will make a good drudge but this added therto will make a good wife They say he who hath gotten both profit and pleasure together for they are not alway joined hath hit the naile on the head But in a wife I am sure it is so if she be usefull by her huswifery and cheerfull by her gracefull amiablenesse she is right and straight indeed and well accomplished Some yet none of the worst housewives are none of the most gracefull creatures their droile alway hangs about them as an ague in the bones and others amiable and cheerfull enough are yet none of the most huswifely and helpfull as the apples of Sodom if they be but toucht with a finger to be usefull they moulder to ashes The former are good droiles to dispatch businesse the other pretty Idols to looke on But the compound of these two hath no fellow to reconcile into one an helpfull gracefulnesse and a gracefull helpfulnesse Of all other duties I need least insist in prooving that this woman makes her marriage honourable and therefore that she is bound to improve her selfe in this kind to the uttermost for the attaining of it This vertue of it selfe speakes as Abel being dead without words This third gift is nothing else save that complexion and luster which ariseth and reboundeth from the mixture of the graces of a woman duly compounded As from the well mixt Elements ariseth bodily temperament and from the blood well mixed in the face ariseth beauty so from a well tempered spirit in a woman ariseth this gracefulnesse As once that Philosopher said if vertue could be seene with the eie it would ravish a man with admirable loves of her so the graces of a woman breaking through her and appearing in the conversation are able to ravish any spirit that is not a stoicke a Nabal A little then first of the Materialls then of the true forme and temper it selfe of this gracefulnesse For the former Grace must needs be the matter of it But what grace Surely graces fly together as birds of a feather and linke as the peeces of a chaine yet there bee pearles which shine more then their fellowes and some graces doe more befriend and beautifie a good wife then other The first may be humility and a meeke spirit for what is more unwomanly unpleasing then a mannish heart of stoutnesse and stomacke and what so decketh a woman as that wherby she is of great esteeme with God himselfe So is shee that walkes in a due and daily sence of her infirmities a modest concealement of her graces Not Sauls talnesse but hiding himselfe a way from honour did most grace him Not a scholers art open'd all at once but the concealment of it most graceth him So not a womans parts but that so fraile a creature should bee above all that 's in her is as the varnish which makes all the picture so amiable Why doe wee thinke Greeke and Ebrew ill bestow'd upon a woman save that its above her ordinary sex to know it and to know her selfe too yet if I should behold a woman of excellent parts of learning and yet to bee as one that knew not her owne knowledge but drown'd all in the spirituall sence of her corruption I should thinke I saw a rare object Shee is little in her owne eies yet that littlenesse makes her greater in Gods eye preciouser in mans then that great gift with which she is furnished A second grace is selfdeniall A meere scholar is growne into a character of disdaine and so is every other thing that is meer a meer woman is an homely sight because ordinary But a woman above a woman her wits and abilities and especially a woman above her wrath envie selflove and passions a woman above her gaine pleasures earthly contents having all and yet above all pestred with all and yet overcomming all is an object of admiration The spirit of God to affect our spirits presents strange objects in his word women Captaines warriours CoÌ„querors what a pretty thing it is to se Iael to master a great Generall of the field with her Hammer Naile Debora to sit and judge Israel what a miracle was our mayden Queen Elizabeth to the world Why but because wee thinke we see and can scarce beleeve our eies in seeing those vertues which were admirable in the Man to reside in a weake sexe as it were out of place So the Lord presents to us in his word his master-peeces an Abigail without sword or bow conquering a Conqueror and leading him captive with her self-denial and wisedome And in experience we see here and there one as a berry or an olive left behind who can master a fierce husbands anger by her long suffring and selfdeinall one that can rule her passions which rule al sorts Why save that we might admire our God as much in the Ants sagacity as the Elephants strength If he who can overcome himselfe then much more shee who can do so is greater then he who hath overcome a city Oh not alway in great things is goodnes but alway in good is greatnes especially when that good is also little A third grace of a woman is faith both for the tâ—uâ—h of it and for the life of it For the former what more worth then pretious faith Paul saith its not of all women or men it s a flower growing in the gardens a pretious jewell worea in the bosomes of very few of this sexe What can calme the soule save pardon and grace from the promise of a Father the blood of a Mediator What can make a woman peaceable and of a quiet frame save because all is well betweene God and her selfe And what is that grace which settles the soule in this grace save faith the fruite of the lips and mother of peace They say there was once a famous Ladie in the English court that calmed the differences of all the courtiers and therfore they called her Ione-Makepeace This ladie faith is that lady Ione a meet ornament not for court onelye but country also Ione-Makebates each house is full of but of Makepeaces very few Oh this graces absence makes all amort womens unquietnesse of nature wrath scoldings and distempers come not so much from outward causes or inward humors as for lacke of this lady faith Their hearts are wicked casting up mire and dirt in the family like the raging sea casting up her owne foame and all because the peace of God which passeth understanding and settling the soule by faith is wanting Some what they once had in creation have lost it by
Ghost hath described it Read and ponder that Heb. 3. 12. where the Apostle in effect tells us that this is the nature of all sinne committed against the light and it hath these degrees as the words doe expresse Take heed lest there be in any of you an evill heart of unbeleefe to depart from the living God but exhort one another lest you be hardned by the deceitfulnesse of sinne Marke first there is an evill heart of aversnesse from God and enmity or alienation from God in each child of old Adam Thus David confesseth himselfe guiltie hereof in committing Adultery Secondly this being unsuâ—dued in the soule by the word breaketh out into outward and morrall evills as ill humors in the body into soares and botches So saith our Saviour an evill man out of the evill treasure of his heart brings forth evill things for out of the heart proceed all such draffe that 's the nest and forge of them all Both these make the heart an evill heart Thirdly this evill heart and these evill workes become evill workes of unbefeefe That is whereas God hath ordeined a blessed remedy of pardon and clensing of both loe the love of an evill heart to her evill workes will not suffer it to parte with them but chuseth rather to forsake mercy it selfe They that embracelying vanities forsake their owne mercy And our Savior plainly This is the condemnation of the world that light came into the world But loved darknes rather then light because their workes were evill Iesus Christ receaved by faith would have destroyd such workes But men loving them and that darkenes which nourisht them more then light they added drunkennes to thirst that is unbeleefe to morral sins And so sins which at the first were but dipped in the colour of Nature beeing died in graine by contempt of light became spirituall evills consisting in a treacherous refusall of grace that it might nouzle it selfe in sin more and more which by embracing of grace it might have beene rid of So that this unbeleefe defending it selfe in the practise of darknesse causeth the soule to be guilty of horrible villany against the grace of God and that spirit of Christ which offreth it selfe to purge and wash it from sin Fourthly by this meanes there followes a Delusion and Defilemen of the soule by the sweetnes and deceitfullnesse of sin That is a Desertion of the soule wherby it s left by the just hand of God to the errour of her own way choyce to bee as it desired to bee so that it becomes of avoluntarily a necessarily seduced heart thinking evill to be good feeding upon ashes as a perverted appetite will do upon coales or chalke it suffers conscience to be blindfolded and baffled and the accusing power thereof to become a defiled power so that though it know sin to be sin as this of Adultery yet beeing luld asleepe upon Dalilas lap it feeles no sting but dreames of ease as Samson and David who differd not in this from Balaam save onely in this that the spirit susteind and reserved their judegments that they sinned not upon the last practicall understanding and choice of free will but by prevention and temptation But to their owne sense they had shaken off the spirit Fifthly from hence proceeds hardning of heart in the sin against the recourse and checks of conscience Thus David beeing once defiled and snared so that he could go neither backward nor forward he grew so hardned that he resolved upoÌ„ al those waies wherby his sin might be concealed extenuated defended and that with odious Circumstances which what was it save as much as in him lay to put off the spirit of God and to fulfill his lust providing that he might not be unsettled And lastly in some uncleane ones although the Elect cannot goe so farre hence proceeds a departing from the living God a disabling of the spirit from returning back to him again through an heart which cannot mourne relent repent so finally a powring foorth of the heart to all other sin without controll or restreint yea some go so farre herein that they fight not only against the revealing light of the spirit but against the spirit it selfe out of malice And what wonder if the restreyning power of the spirit be taken from such as have despised the saving power of it Now to gather up all into one how wofull an hazard doe all they run as play the uncleane beasts under the cleere light of the Gospel How do they lay the stumbling blocke of their owne iniquities before themselves For although I deny not a possibility of returning so long as the spirit is greeved onely except it be despited also yet who knoweth how farre he may go in his descent beeing not able to stop himselfe And as for the Elect how many beare themselves upon it till they proove errant hypocrites This Meditation therfore let all such ponder deeply who are given to slight this sin what God may do for ignorant ones as Paul speakes I say not though we see but few of these repent But for them that sin wilfully after light it s far worse A second object of meditation against this sin is the Peculiarnesse of it from other sins That of the Apostle is notable for this fly fornication why All other sins parte from the bodie this abides in it what 's that Other sins of wrath theft swearing the like abide not in but passe away from the instrument acting them I say not in guilt but in act of cleaving But this of uncleannesse as it leaves no lesse scarre in the Body then they rather more so it leaves a far greater and more loathsome stayne in the body causing it to bee a more yrkesome dwelling for the spirit of God to bee more loathsome to it selfe and beares marke in the open sight of others of it owne filthines If God then have set such a mark of this sin upon the bodie as upon no other and now much more then when Paul speakes if other sins in comparison are without but this within it others by the body out of the body this by et and in it that is it is a more reall and bodily sin requiring more of a sinner for the perfecting of it then others yea forfeiting a peece of the body in the committing of it how odious is it Againe if it bee a more fulsome vice and hardlier washtout as before hath beene said If it shut God out of his Temple yea out of Poarch and all I conclude it behooves all to beware lest they conceive that a more slight sin then others which God hath branded with more peculiarnesse then others I do not here speake of that loathsomnesse which followes the act of that before But I say The Lord loathes these leprous walles what should such a one have to doe with Praier Reading Hearing Sacraments whose lips eys
should imagine a possibility of it seeing what the name of David Lot Salomon till this day suffer for it As a blur in faire cambrique so is this alway cast upon him as his shame God doth not usually upbrayde his people But this he alway casts him in teeth withall yet this Caution I adde by the way It is not lawfull hereby to condemne whom God hath justified but to cover it rather for our parts But for caution to others the Lord will rather make a Record of it and hang it on the file then it shal be forgotten And when we heare the uncharitable imputations of men fret not at them but say God is in it he will keep it on foot he will checke the soule with it and caufe the guilty therof to possesse the sin of their youth as Iob did If God shall conceale the shame of any guilty of this sin let them prayse him and make an end of all in his privy Chamber of mercy and Repentance that so his open judiciall proceeding in court may be stopped Let this also adde some weight of terror and divorce thee from this sin whip the slaves backe with this rod But the son will be drawne by love So much for this second of Meditation The third and last is to practise somewhat And this is the mayne of all other helpes to rid us of this muscheefe And it consists of sundry particulars Touching all which let the Reader understand that they properly concerne such as have beene actually defiled with uncleannesse in one kind or other And these men are either guilty of their Crime during their estate of ignorance and unregeneracy or else such as have revolted from that grace which they have either soundly or seemingly received To both I would give some advise and first to the former To that then which hath beene abundantly spoken of the Terrors of God against this sin let this only be added That all those men whose hearts God shall touch for it doe lay them close to their hearts that as that pearking presumptuous Asahel was met with and pierced in the fifth rib by Abners speare so may these wild creatures be in their ventrous provoking of God Surelie such a giddy lightnes is in every uncleane heart yea the religious they cannot be solid when as they would they are so drunken with this sin except the law or else that old Simeon speakes of which must open and let out the thoughts of many hearts do let out these wild and unbrideled affections And as that Asahel 2. Sam. 2. being once darted through was tame enough and stopt in his wantonnes so let thy soule be earnest with God to step out of his ordinary way to make an high sence and sharpe hedge of Thornes which he doth but for few in this kind yea to set an Angell before the doore of that harlot shaking a sword that thou mayst no more venture to returne This will not bee till a fire bee thrust into thy soule to feele the intolerable wrathe of God upon all Whoremongers which may so sting thee that as a man scalt or burnt hath small joy or mirth so the feeling of thy selfe in the suburbs of hell may cause thee to feele small list or edge to thy former occupation Hell my freind is no paynced sire on the wall such as thou seest in Alehouses to make drunkards merry but is kindled with the breath of God who hath vowed to bee a terrible judge and consuming fire to all defilers of themselves with whores or harlots single or married yet entreat him that this terror of his may not be extreeme and desperate as his was of whom I last spake ending in violent laying of hands upon himselfe and preventing of Repentance but rather breake the force of lust pull down thy jollity that it may bee as sad an object to thee as was the murthering of the Lord of life to Peters hearers Act. 2. 37. And not onely so but stoop and quaile under this terror of God wee see prisoners at the barre doe not descant or quarrell with the Iudge all their language is confession and supplication for why They know the Iudge hath them at advantage their lives stand at his curtesie Do thou likewise Will God judge Adulterers Stoop then at his barre hee can save or destroy Other Iudges admit appeale themselves may and must be judged their judgements may bee questioned disannulled they sit but upon the breath and life of a man Not so the Lord hee is Iudge of the high Court a Soveraigne King and Iudge If hee once passe sentence no revocation it toucheth the life of thy precious soule This should affright all uncleane persons What suing and seeking is there to the Iudges of spirituall Courts if they threaten but the sheet Oh! but here 's a greater Iudge that can damne thee in hell for ever No bribes prevaile here he is like that enemy of Babell who should scorne all gifts and bee above gold and silver Submit therefore under his hand confesse thy damnation is just lie prostrate upon the earth with thy mouth in the dust and say oh thou the Soveraigne God of the Creatures enemie of all uncleane wretches if thou send mee to hell I have nothing to alleadge if I perish I may thanke my selfe thou hast power to destroy Tremble at this Soveraignty doe not quarrell nor shift with him there is nothing to be pleaded save meere favour I can say nothing why the sentence of death should not be pronounced against me Secondly seeing all repentance stands not in a preparative go on be earnest with God to give thee a glimpse of hope in the Lord Iesus who was made all sinne and this by name not onely for David but for the nature of man and for thine and hath satisfied the wrath of this Iudge that he might say deliver him I have accepted a ransome The law of Moses knew no such attonement stoning and strangling was the end of it As the Iudge tells some felons that the law hath no mercy for them their sinnes exceed it so here But the Gospell affords more grace refuseth to pardon no sinne no offence which the soule can be humbled for I grant this will not easily enter so debauch't a spirit to dream of a possibility of such a grace For when that conscience which was so deeply benummed is once stirred to the bottom it becomes as sensible as ever it was senselesse before and while conscience holds under bondage it s no easie thing to fee such an hope of grace by the Gospell But yet in this thy amasement utter losse an despaire in thy selfe thou must wait upon God who can sustaine thy bottomlesse spirit from sinking altogether till in due time he open a crevis of light into thy dark dungeon And when it shall please him to turne thine eie towards some likelihood of finding mercy in the
glad if any such veine of wrath may bee let into thy soule as may truly subdue thee under the mighty hand of God that he may raise thee up Thinke not the time long take leasure an heart long defiled a vessell once fustie will hardly change her hiew nor bee sweetned Sixthly let faith alway come betweene thy sinning and thy repenting soder not up a repentance of thine owne its bad in any sinne but deadly in this such sudden leapings out of one contrary to another may admit as easie a relapse from this to the former And so thou maist make thy fall to become a falling sicknesse if the power of pardon and purging come betweene thy sin and thy redresse then is the cure from God and from Christ the sure Physition whose healings are sound and perfect Let his blood come into thy nasty soule come between thy sinne and thy spirit loosening the sweetnesse and the defilement thereof from thee or else it will returne Morall plaisters may hold while the soule is in feare But when sensuality returnes she breakes all such cords in sunder Seventhly when God hath healed thee goe thy waies and thinke thou meetest with him that said Sinne no more lest a worse thing happen to thee even an impenitent spirit Let the experience of thy revolt bind thee to a double care and feare of time to come as that incestuous Corinthian a kindly Convert and as fit an object as any to bee set before a relapsing Adulterers eye approved his repentance so do thou thine How rare a sight were it in these daies to see such an one so swallowed up with sorrow that the Church had need to comfort him in all the haste for feare of despairing Oh! mourne for the wasting of the spirit of grace by an uncleane spirit of thine owne count thy selfe cut off moane thy condition in the eares of God and beseech him to set thee so in joint againe that thine heart may bee stronger then ever to resist thinke thy selfe unworthy to be restored to the Communion of Saints be as an excommunicate in thine owne eies as those offenders in the ancient times who were hardly and by degrees admitted to the Assembly Then the judgements of the Ministers were so harsh as if such might not be admitted as Cyprian and others erroniously thought but to be sure they were admitted with great difficulty for feare of second relapses But now our discipline is in a contrary extreame be thou a law to thy selfe Eightly if thy revolt have been open and publique let thy repentance be so Thinke not that remarkeable offences will be huddled up in the Court of heaven without open repentance and more then ordinary humiliation Most mens plaisters are too narrow for their sores But if wee observe Gods penitents you shall see that their revolts were never so famous as their repentings have beene eminent Thou hast sinned with David repent also with him and let the Church bee well satisfied she hath not lost a member Ninthly be content to beare the reproach of thy sin for ever as a burden upon thy back yea to carry it written in great letters upon the forehead if God think meete to exercise thee in that kind Not thou but hee must judge of the breadth of thine offence It s to keepe downe thine heart which would ever be pearking up and floating aloft and running to the like excesse Better have thy fagot alway upon thy backe Tenthly returne to so much the more close and narrow walking with God watching to a chast and inoffensive course not only against open evills but even secret-suspicions and learne to sanctify the marriage bed against such â—orraine provocations But if any desire to reade more of this Argument I referre him to my Treatise of the Sacraments part 2. and the Chapter of Sacramentall Repentance So much here may suffice Vse 5 Fifthly if God himselfe be so severe a witnesse and Iudge of Adulterers thundring out such threats against them let it bee a caveat to all Magistrates and Governors both Civill and Ecclesiasticall who take upon them the censures of such Delinquents to looke to themselves you are in the place of Gods Officers you should execute the authority of God Doe in these cases as the great judge would do If he sate in judgement he would verefy this threat here in my Text Perhaps its not in your power to do as he would do if he sate in Commission against Whooremongers But yet as farre as lies in your power shew your selves swift witnesses against this crew which doth now so swarme in Cities great townes and generally every where and among all sorts that they wil make the land rue it spew out her inhabitants as once CanaaÌ„ did hers Consider what a vengeance this one sin not to speak of others both spirituall morall might justly bring upon this our land which groaneth under it as much as ever Israel and Iuda did to which God doth threaten such terrible plagues by Esay Ieremy and other Prophets for their fulnes of bread the sins of SodoÌ„ their neighinglike horses after their neighbors wives or else after other harlots which perhaps in England is the more frequent Suffer not vile Adulterers making open profession of it to live with their Harlots and Bastards under their noses nay in the beddes of their wives expelling them and harbouring the other in their bosomes with despite Do not through bribes and flattery or an ill Conscience privy to the like evills through sloth and ease or love of sin seeke pretences to shift your handes of censuring such and so connive at them But by what meanes possibly you can vindicate the honor of God assoyle the land of the just plagues which shee is liable unto for hatching such vipers in her Bosome Bee vicegerents of God! will you not judge them Yes judge these sinners I say not stone them for it s beyond your power and the long impunity of this sin hath hardned the hearts of men in their Impudence but send them to the Carte to the house of Correction to the sheet and shame of their uncleannes to excommunication from the Sacraments and the fellowship of Christians Poste not off these men from one Magistrate to the other as if neither were willing to brand them with shame they have sinned both against Church and commonwealth let them pay for both But in no wise harden them by alaying releasing exchanging of Censures If you discharge those whom God holdes guilty turning such heynous sins to meer Pageants huddling up that which the Lord would have proclaymed on the tops of houses know it your lives shall go for theirs God will call you over himselfe and when he punisheth Adulterers themselves he will judge you for not executing his judgement upon them which have prevented it and spared their soules Lastly let this Point be also Encouragement and Consolation to all