shape of Rust And 'twixt the Spring and Hammer thrust Her Gorgon-shield which made the Cock Stand stiff as if 't were turn'd t' a stock Mean while fierce Talgol gath'ring might With rugged Truncheon charg'd the Knight And he his rusty Pistol held To take the blow on like a Shield The Gun recoyl'd as well it might Not us'd to such a kind of fight And shrunk from its great Master's gripe Knock'd down and stunn'd with mortal stripe Than Hudibras with furious haste Drew out his sword yet not so fast But Talgol first with hardy thwack Twice bruis'd his head and twice his back But when his nut-brown Sword was out Couragiously he laid about Imprinting many a wound upon His mortal foe the Truncheon The trusty Cudgel did oppose It self against dead-doing blows To guard its Leader from fell bane And then reveng'd it self again And though the sword some understood In force had much the odds of Wood 'T was nothing so both sides were ballanc't So equal none knew which was valiant'st For Wood with Honor b'ng engag'd Is so implacably enrag'd Though Iron hew and mangle sore Wood wounds and bruises Honor more And now both Knights were out of breath Tir'd in the hot pursuit of Death While all the rest amaz'd stood still Expecting which would take or kill This Hudibras observ'd and fretting Conquest should be so long a getting He drew up all his force into One Body and that into one Blow But Talgol wisely avoided it By cunning slight for had it hit The Upper part of him the Blow Had slit as sure as that below Mean while th' incomparable Colon To aid his Friend began to fall on Him Ralph encountred and straight grew A fierce Dispute betwixt them two Th' one arm'd with Metal th' other with Wood This fit for bruise and that for bloud With many a stiff thwack many a bang Hard Crab-tree and old Iron rang While none that saw them could divine To which side Conquest would encline Untill Magnano who did envy That two should with so many men vye By subtle stratagem of brain Perform'd what force could ne'r attain For he by foul hap having found Where Thistles grew on barren ground In haste he drew his weapon out And having crop'd them from the Root He clapp'd them under th' Horses Tail With prickles sharper than a Nail The angry Beast did straight resent The wrong done to his Fundament Begun to kick and fling and wince As if h 'had been beside his sense Striving to disingage from Smart And raging Pain th' afflicted Part Instead of which he threw the pack Of Squire and Baggage from his back And blundring still with smarting rump He gave the Champions Steed a thump That staggar'd him The Knight did stoop And sate on further side aslope This Talgol viewing who had now By flight escap'd the fatal blow He rally'd and again fell to 't For catching him by nearer foot He lifted with such might and strength As would have hurl'd him thrice his length And dash'd his brains if any out But Mars that still protects the stout In Pudding-time came to his aid And under him the Bear convey'd The Bear upon whose soft Fur-Gown The Knight with all his weight fell down The friendly Rug preserv'd the ground And headlong Knight from bruise or wound Like Feather-bed betwixt a Wall And heavy brunt of Cannon-ball As Sancho on a Blanket fell And had no hurt ours far'd as well In body though his mighty Spirit B'ing heavy did not so well bear it The Bear was in a greater fright Beat down and worsted by the Knight He roar'd and rag'd and flung about To shake off bondage from his snout His wrath enflam'd boil'd o'r and from His jaws of Death he threw the fome Fury in stranger postures threw him And more than ever Herauld drew him He tore the Earth which he had sav'd From squelch of Knight and storm'd and rav'd And vext the more because the harms He felt were ' gainst the Law of Arms For Men he always took to be His friends and Dogs the Enemy Who never so much hurt had done him As his own side did falling on him It griev'd him to the Guts that they For whom h 'had faught so many a fray And serv'd with loss of bloud so long Should offer such inhumane wrong Wrong of unsouldier-like condition For which he flung down his Commission And laid about him till his Nose From thrall of Ring and Cord broke loose Soon as he felt himself enlarg'd Through thickest of his foes he charg'd And made way through th' amazed crew Some he o're-ran and some o're threw But took none for by hasty flight He strove t' avoid the conquering Knight From whom he fled with as much haste And dread as he the Rabble chac'd In haste he fled and so did they Each and his fear a sev'ral way Crowdero only kept the field Not stirring from the place he held Though beaten down and wounded sore I' th' Fiddle and a Leg that bore One side of him not that of bone But mutch its betters th' wooden one He spying Hudibras lye strow'd Upon the ground like log of wood With fright of fall supposed wound And loss of Urine in a swound In haste he snatch'd the wooden limb That hurt in th' anckle lay by him And fitting it for sudden fight Straight drew it up t' attack the Knight For getting up on stump and huckle He with the foe began to buckle Vowing to be reveng'd for breach Of Crowd and Shin upon the wretch Sole author of all Detriment He and his Fiddle underwent But Ralpho who had now begun T' adventure resurrection From heavy squelch and had got up Upon his Legs with sprained Crup Looking about beheld the Bard To charge the Knight intranc'd prepar'd He snatch'd his Whiniard up that fled When he was falling off his Steed As Rats do from a falling house To hide it self from rage of blows And wing'd with speed and fury flew To rescue Knight from black and blew Which e're he could atchieve his Sconce The Leg encounter'd twice and once And now 't was rais'd to smite agen When Ralpho thrust himself between He took the blow upon his Arm To shield the Knight from further harm And joyning wrath with force bestow'd On th' wooden member such a load That down it fell and with it bore Crowdero whom it propp'd before To him the Squire right nimbly run And setting his bold foot upon His trunk thus spoke What desp'rate Frenziâ— Made thee thou whelp of Sin to fancy Thy self and all that Coward Rabble T' encounter us in battle able How durst th' I say oppose thy Curship Gainst Arms Authority and Worship And Hudibras or me provoke Though all thy Limbs were heart of Oke And th' other half of thee as good To bear out blows as that of Wood Could not the whipping-post prevail With all its Rhet'rick nor the Gaol To keep from flaying scourge
thy skin And ankle free from Iron Gin Which now thou shalt but first our care Must see how Hudibras doth fair This said he gently rais'd the Knight And set him on his Bum upright To rouze him from Lethargick dump He tweak'd his Nose with gentle thump Knock'd on his breast as if 't had been To raise the Spirits lodg'd within They wakened with the noise did fly From inward Room to Window eye And gently op'ning lid the Casement Lookt out but yet with some amazement This gladded Ralpho much to see Who thus bespoke the Knight quoth he Tweaking his noise You are great Sir A Self-denying Conqueror As high victorious and great As e'r fought for the Churches yet If you will give your self but leave To make out what y' already have That 's Victory the foe for dread Of your Nine-worthiness is fled All save Crowdero for whose sake You did th' espous'd Cause undertake And he lies pris'ner at your feet To be dispos'd as you think meet Either for Life or Death or Sale The Gallows or perpetual Jayl For one wink of your pow'rful Eye Must sentence him to live or dye His Fiddle is your proper purchace Won in the Service of the Churches And by your doom must be allow'd To be or be no more a Crowd For though success did not confer Just Title on the Conquerer Though dispensations were not strong Conclusions whether right or wrong Although Out goings did not confirm And Owning were but a meer term Yet as the wicked have no right To th' Creature though usurp'd by might The property is in the Saint From whom th' injuriously detain't Of him they hold their Luxuries Their Dogs their Horses Whores and Dice Their Riots Revels Masks Delights Pimps Buffoons Fidlers Parasites All which the Saints have Title to And ought t' enjoy if th' had their due What we take from them is no more Than what was ours by right before For we are their true Landlords still And they our Tenants but at will At this the Knight begun to rouse And by degrees grow valorous He star'd about and seeing none Of all his foes remain but one He snatch'd his weapon that lay near him And from the ground began to rear him Vowing to make Crowdero pay For all the rest that ran away But Ralpho now in colder blood His fury mildly thus withstood Great Sir quoth he your mighty Spirit Is rais'd too high this Sâ—ve does merit To be the Hangman's bus'ness sooner Than from your hand to have the honor Of his destruction I that am So much below in Deed and Name Did scorn to hurt his forfeit Carcass Or ill intreat his Fiddle or Case Will you Great Sir that Glory blot In cold bloud which you gain'd in hot Will you employ your Conqu'ring Sword To break a Fiddle and your Word For though I fought and overcame And quarter gave 't was in your name For great Commanders always own What 's prosperous by the Soldier done To save where you have pow'r to kill Argues your Pow'r above your Will And that your Will and Pow'r have less Than both might have of selfishness This Pow'r which now alive with dread He trembles at if he were dead Would no more keep the slave in awe Than if you were a Knight of Straw For death would then be his Conqueror Not you and free him from that terror If danger from his life accrue Or honor from his death to you 'T were Policy and Honor too To do as you resolv'd to do But Sir 't would wrong your valour much To say it needs or fears a Crutch Great Conquerors greater glory gain By Foes in Triumph led than slain The Lawrels that adorn their brows Are pull'd from living not dead boughs And living foes the greatest fame Of Cripple slain can be but lame One half of him 's already slain The other is not worth your pain Th' Honor can but on one side lighr As Worship did when y' were dub'd Knight Wherefore I think it better far To keep him Prisoner of War And let him fast in bonds abide At Court of Justice to be try'd Where if h'appear so bold or crafty There may be danger in his safety If any Member there dislike His Face or to his Beard have pike Or if his death will save or yield Revenge or fright it is reveal'd Though he has quarter ne'rtheless Y' have pow'r to hang him when you please This hath been often done by some Of our great Conquerors you know whom And has by most of us been held Wise Justice and to some reveal'd For Words and Promises that yoke The Conqueror are quickly broke Like Sampson's Cuffs though by his own Direction and advice put on For if we should fight for the Cause By rules of military Laws And only do what they call just The Cause would quickly fall to dust This we among our selves may speak But to the Wicked or the Weak We must be cautious to declare Perfection-truths such as these are This said the high outragious mettle Of Knight began to cool and settle He lik'd the Squire 's advice and soon Resolv'd to see the bus'ness done And therefore charg'd him first to bind Crowdero's hands on rump behind And to its former place and use The Wooden member to reduce But force it take an Oath before Ne'r to bear Arms against him more Ralpho dispatch'd with speedy haste And having ty'd Crowdero fast He gave Sir Knight the end of Cord To lead the Captive of his sword In triumph while the Steeds he caught And them to further service brought The Squire in state rode on before And on his nut-brown Whiniard bore The Trophee Fiddle and the Case Plac'd on his shoulder like a Mace The Knight himself did after ride Leading Crowdero by his side And tow'd him if he lagg'd behind Like Boat against the Tide and Wind. Thus grave and solemn they march on Until quite through the Town th' had gone At further end of which their stands An ancient Castle that commands Th' adjacent parts in all the fabrick You shall not see one stone nor a brick But all of Wood by powr'ful Spell Of Magick made impregnable There 's neither Iron-bar nor Gate Port-cullis Chain nor Bolt not Grate And yet men durance there abide In Dungeon scarce three inches wide With Roof so low that under it They never stand but lye or sit And yet so foul that who so is in Is to the middle-leg in prison In Circle Magical confin'd With Walls of subtle Air and Wind Which none are able to break thorough Until th' are freed by head of Borough Thither arriv'd th' advent'rous Knight And bold Squire from their Steeds alight At th' outward Wall near which there stands A Bastile built t' imprison hands By strange enchantment made to fetter The lesser parts and free the greater For though the Body may creep through The Hands in Grate are fast enough â—nd when a Circle 'bout the
agone Aristophanes in his Comedy of the Clouds brings in Socrates and Chaerephon measuring the Leap of a Flea from the ones Beard to the others Was rais'd by him found out by Fisk. This Fisk was a late famous Astrologer who flourish'd about the time of Subtle and Face and was equally celebrated by Ben. Johnson Unless it be that Cannon-ball This experiment was try'd by some Foreign Virtuoso's who planted a Piece of Ordnance point-blanc against the Zenith and having fir'd it the Bullet never rebounded back again which made them all conclude that it sticks in the mark but Des Cartes was of opinion That it does but hang in the Air. As lately was reveal'd to Sedgwyck This Sedgwyck had many Persons and some of Quality that believ'd in him and prepar'd to keep the day of Judgment with him but were disappointed for which the false Prophet was afterwards call'd by the name of Doomesday Sedgwyck Your Modern Indian Magician Makes but a hole in th' Earth to piss in This compendious new way of Magick is affirm'd by Monsieur Le Blanc in his Travels to be us'd in the East-Indies Bumbastus kept a Devils Bird c. Paracelsus is said to have kept a small Devil pris'ner in the Pummel of his Sword which was the reason perhaps why he was so valiant in his Drink Howsoever it was to better purpose than Annibal carry'd poyson in his to dispatch himself if he should happen to be surpriz'd in any great extremity for the Sword would have done the Feat alone much better and more Soldier-like And it was below the Honor of so great a Commander to go out of the World like a Rat. Agrippa kept a Stygian Pug. Cornelius Agrippa had a Dog that was suspected to be a Spirit for some tricks he was wont to do beyond the capacity of a Dog as it was thought but the Author of Magia Adamica has taken a great deal of pains to vindicate both the Doctor and the Dog from that aspersion in which he has shown a very great respect and kindness for them both As Averrhois play'd but a mean trick Averrhois Astronomiam propter Excentricos contempsit Phil. Melancton in Elem. Phys p. 781. The Median Emp'ror dreamt his Daughter Astyages King of Media had this Dream of his Daughter Mandane and the Interpretation from the Magi wherefore he married her to a Persian of mean quality by whom she had Cyrus who conquer'd all Asia and translated the Empire from the Medes to the Persians Herodot L. 2. When Caesar in the Senate fell Fiunt aliquando Prodigiosi longiores Solis Defectus quales occiso Caesare Dictatore Antoniano Bello totius Anni Pallore continuo Plin. Augustus having b' oversight c. Divus Augustus Laevum sibi prodidit calceum praepostere indutum quo die seditione Militum propè afflictus est Idem Lib. 2. The Roman Senate when within The City Walls an Owl was seen Romani L. Crasso C. Maria Coss Bubone viso orbem lustrabant For Anaxagoras long agone Saw Hills as well as you i' th' Moon Anaxagoras affirmabat Solem Candens Ferrum esse Peloponesso majorem Lunam habitacula in se habere Colles Valles Fertur dixisse Caelum omne ex Lapidibus esse Compositum Damnatus in exilium pulsus est quod impie Solem Candentem laminam esse dixisset Diogen Laert. in Anaxag p. 11.13 The Aegyptians say the Sun has twice Shifted his Setting and his Rise Aegyptii Decem millia Annorum amplius recensent observatum est in hoc tanto Spatio bis mutata esse Loca Ortuum Occasuum solis ita ut Sol bis ortus sit ubi nunc occidit bis descenderit ubi nunc oritur Phil. Melanct. Lib. 1. p. 60. Some hold the Heavens like a Top Are kept by Circulation up Causa quare Caelum non cadit secundum Empedoclem est velocitas sui motus Comment in L. 2. Aristot de Caelo Plato believ'd the Sun and Moon Below all other Planets run Plato Solem Lunam caeteris Planetis inferiores esse putavit G. Cunning. in Cosmogr L. 1. p. 11. The Learned Scaliger complain'd Copernicus in Libris Revolutionum deinde Reinholdus post etiam Stadius Mathematici nobiles perspicuis Demonstrationibus docuerunt solis Apsida Terris esse propriorem quam Ptolomaei aetate duodecim partibus i. e. uno triginta terrae semidiametris Jo. Bod. Met. Hist p. 455. Cardan believ'd great States depend c. Putat Cardanus ab extrema Cauda Helices seu Majori◠ursae omne magnum Imperium pendere Id. p. 325. Than th' old Chaldean Conjurers In so many hundred thousand years Chaldaei jactant se quadringinta septuaginta Annorum millia in periclitandis experiundisque Puerorum Animis posuisse Cicero Like Money by the Druids borrow'd c. Druidae pecuniam mutuo accipiebant in Posteriore vita redituri Patricius Tom. 2. p. 97. That paultry story is untrue And forg'd to cheat such Gulls as you There was a notorious Idiot that is here describ'd by the Name and Character of Whacum who counterfeited a Second Part of Hudibras as untowardly as Captain Po who could not write himself and yet made a shift to stand on the Pillory for Forging other Mens Hands as his Fellow Whachum no doubt deserv'd in whose abominable Doggerel This story of Hudibras and a French Mountebank at Brentford Fair is as properly describ'd That the vibration of this Pendulum Shall make all Taylors Yards of one Unanimous opinion The device of the Vibration of a Pendulum was intended to settle a certain Measure of Ells and Yards c. that should have its foundation in Nature all the World over For by swinging a weight at the end of a string and calculating by the motion of the Sun or any Star how long the Vibration would last in proportion to the length of the String and weight of the Pendulum they thought to reduce it back again and from any part of time compute the exact length of any string that must necessarily vibrate in so much space of time So that if a man should ask in China for a Quarter of an Hour of Satin or Taffeta they would know perfectly what it meant And all Mankind learn a new way to measure things no more by the Yard Foot or Inch but by the Hour Quarter and Minute Before the Secular Prince of Darkness As the Devil is the spiritual Prince of Darkness so is the Constable the Secular who governs in the night with as great Authority as his Colleague but far more imperiously FINIS HUDIBRAS THE Third and Last PART Written by the AUTHOUR OF THE FIRST and SECOND PARTS LONDON Printed for Robert Horne and are to be sold by Tho. Basset at the George in Fleet-street 1684. Licensed and Enter'd according to the Act of Parliament for Printing HUDIBRAS The Third and Last Part. The ARGUMENT of the FIRST CANTO of the Third Part. The Knight
trust Will find you most exactly just Such as will punctually repay With double Interest and betray Not that I think those Pantomimes Who vary Action with the Times Are less ingenious in their Art Than those who dully act one Part Or those who turn from Side to Side More guilty than the Wind and Tide All Countries are a Wise man's Home And so are Governments to some Who change them for the same Intrigues That States-men use in breaking Leagues While others in Old Faiths and Troths Look odâ— as in Out-of-fashion'd Cloaths And nastier in an old Opinion Than those who never shift their Linnen For True and Faithful's sure to loose Which way soever the Game goes And whether Parties lose or win Is always nick'd or else hedg'd in While Pow'r usurp'd like stol'n delight Is more bewitching than the Right And when the Times begin to alter None rise so high as from the Halter And so may we if w' have but Sense To use the necessary Means And not your usual Stratagems On one another Lights and Dreames To stand on Terms as positive As if we did not take but give Set up the Covenant on Crutches ' Gainst those who have us in their Clutches And dream of pulling Churches down Before w' are sure to prop our own Your constant Method of Proceeding Without the Carnal Means of Heeding Who 'twixt your Inward Sense and Outward Are worse than if y 'had none accoutred I grant all Courses are in vain Vnless we can get in again The only way that 's left us now But all the difficulty's How 'T is true w' have Money th' only Pow'r That all Mankind falls down before Money that like the Swords of Kings Is the last Reason of all things And therefore need not doubt our Play Has all advantages that way As long as Men have Faith to sell And meet with those that can pay well Whose half-starv'd Pride and Avarice One Church and State will not suffice T' expose to Sale beside the Wages Of storing Plagues to after Ages Nor is our Money less our own Than 't was before we laid it down For 't will return and turn t' Account If we are brought in Play upon 't Or but by Casting Knaves get in What Pow'r can hinder us to win We know the Arts we us'd before In Peace and War and something more And by the unfortunate Events Can mend our next Experiments For when w' are taken into Trust How easie are the Wisest choust Who see but th' out-sides of our Feats And not their secret Springs and Weights And while th' are busie at their ease Can carry what Designs we please How easie is 't to serve for Agents To prosecute our old Engagements To keep the Good Old Cause on Foot And present Power from taking Root Inflame them both with false Alarms Of Plots and Parties taking Arms To keep the Nation 's Wounds too wide For healing up of Side to Side Profess the passionat'st Concerns For both their Interests by Turns The only way t' improve our own By dealing faithfully with none As Bowls run true by being made Of purpose false and to be sway'd For if we should be true to either 'T would turn us out of both together And therefore have no other Means To stand upon our own Defence But keeping up our Ancient Party In Vigor Confident and Hearty To reconcile our late Dissenters Our Brethren though by other Venters Vnite them and their different Maggots As long and short Sticks are in Faggots And make them joyn again as close As when they first began t' Espouse Erect them into Separate New Jewish Tribes in Church and State To joyn in Marriage and Commerce And only among themselves Converse And all that are not of their Mind Make Enemies to all Mankind Take all Religions in and stickle From Conclave down to Conventicle Agreeing still or disagreeing According to the Light in Being Sometimes for Liberty of Conscience And Spiritual miss-rule in one Sense But in another quite contrary As Dispensations chance to vary And stand for as the times will bear it All Contradictions of the Spirit Protect their Emessaries impowr'd To preach Sedition and the Word And when th' are hamper'd by the Laws Release the Lab'rers for the Cause And turn the Persecution back On those that made the first Attack To keep them equally in awe From breaking or maintaining Law And when they have their Fits to soon Before the Full-Tides of the Moon Put off their Zeal t' a fitter Season For sowing Faction in and Treason And keep them hooded and their Churches Like Hawks from bating on their Perches That when the Blessed Time shall come Of quitting Babylon and Rome They may be ready to restore Their own Fifth-Monarchy once more Mean while be better Arm'd to Fence Against Revolts of Providence By watching narrowly and snapping All blind sides of it as they happen For if Success could make us Saints Our Ruin turn'd us Miscreants A Scandal that would fall too hard Vpon a Few and unprepar'd These are the Courses we must run Spight of our Hearts or be undone And not to stand on Terms and Freaks Before we have secur'd our Necks But do our Work as out of sight As Stars by Day and Suns by Night All Licence of the People own In opposition to the Crown And for the Crown as fiercely side The Head and Body to divide The end of all we first design'd And all that yet remains behind Be sure to spare no publick Rapine On all Emergencies that happen For 't is as easie to supplant Authority as Men in want As some of us in trusts have made The one hand with the other trade Gain'd vastly by their Joynt-endeavour The right a Thief the left Receiver And what the one by tricks forestall'd The other by as sly Retail'd For Gain has wonderful Effects T' improve the Factory of Sects The Rule of Faith in all Professions And great Diana of the Ephesians Whence turning of Religion's made The means to turn and wind a Trade And though some change it for the worse They put themselves into a Course And draw in store of Customers To thrive the better in Commerce For all Religions flock together Like Tame and Wild-Fowl of a Feather To nab the Itches of their Sects As Jades do one another's Necks Hence 't is Hypocrisie as well Will serve t' improve a Church as Zeal As Persecution or Promotion Do equally advance Devotion Let Business like ill Watches go Sometime too fast sometime to slow For things in order are put out So easie Ease it self will do 't But when the Feat's design'd and meant What Miracle can bar th' event For 't is more easie to betray Than ruin any other way All possible Occasions start The Weighty'st Matters to divert Obstruct Perplex Distract Intangle And lay perpetual Trains to wrangle But in Affairs of less Import That neither do us Good nor Hurt And they receive as
your Word would pass Point-blank on both sides of a Case Or Credit were not to be lost B' a Brave Knight Errant of the post That eats perfidiously his Word And swears his Ears through a two Inch Board Can own the same thing and disown And perjure Booty Pro and Con. Can make the Gospel serve his turn And help him out to be forsworn When 't is laid hands upon and kiss'd To be betray'd and sold like Christ These are the Vertues in whose Name A Right to all the World you claim And boldly challenge a Dominion In Grace and Nature o'er all Women Of whom no less will satisfie Than all the Sex your Tyranny Although you 'l find it a hard Province With all your crafty Frauds and Covins To govern such a numerous Crew Who one by one now govern you For if you all were Solomons And VVise and Great as he was once You 'll find Th' are able to subdue As they did him and baffle you And if you are impos'd upon 'T is by your own Temptation done That with your Ignorance invite And teach us how to use the slight For when we find y' are still more taken With false Attracts of our own making Swear that 's a Rose and that a Stone Like Sots to us that laid in on And what we did but slightly prime Most ignorantly daub in Rhime You force us in our own Defences To copy Beams and Influences To lay Perfections on the Graces And drâ—w Attracts upon our Faces And in compliance to your Wit Your own false Jewels counterfeit For by the practice of those Arts We gain a greater share of Hearts And those deserve in reason most That greatest pains and study cost For great Perfections are like Heav'n Too rich a Present to be given Nor are those Master-strokes of Beauty To be perform'd without hard Duty Which when th' are nobly done and well The simple Natural excel How fair and sweet the planted Rose Beyond the Wild in Hedges grows For without Art the Noblest Seeds Of Flow'rs degenerate to Weeds How dull and rugged e'er 't is Ground And Polish'd looks a Diamond Though Paradise was e'er so fair It was not kept so without Care The whole World without Art and Dress Would be but one great Wilderness And Mankind but a Savage Herd For all that Nature has conferr'd This does but Rough-hew and Design Leave Art to Polish and Refine Though Women first were made for Men Yet Men were made for them agen For when out witted by his Wife Man first turn'd Tenant but for Life If Women had not interven'd How soon had Mankind had an end And that it is in Being yet To us alone you are in Debt Then where 's your liberty of Choice And our unnatural No-voice Since all the Privilege you boast And falsly usurp'd or vainly lost Is now our Right to whose Creation You owe your Happy Restoration And if we had not weighty Cause To not appear in making Laws We could in spight of all your Tricks And Shallow Formal Politicks Force you our Managements t' obey As we to yours in shew give way Hence 't is that while you vainly strive T' advance your high Prerogative You basely after all your Braves Submit and own yourselves our Slaves And ' cause we do not make it known Nor Publickly our Int'rests own Like Sots suppose we have no shares In ord'ring you and your Affairs When all your Empire and Command You have from us at Second Hand As if a Pilot that appears To sit still only while he steers And does not make a noise and stir Like every common Mariner Knew nothing of the Card nor Star And did not guide the Man of War Nor we because we don't appear In Councels do not govern there While like the Mighty Prester John Whose Person none dares look upon But is preserv'd in Close Disguise From being made cheap to vulgar Eyes W' enjoy as large a Pow'r unseen To govern him as he does Men And in the Right of our Pope Joan Make Emp'rors at our feet fall down Or Joan the Pucel's braver Name Our Right to Arms and Conduct claim Who though a Spinster yet was able To serve France for a Grand Constable We make and execute all Laws Can judge the Judges and the Cause Prescribe all Rules of Right or VVrong To th' Long Robe and the Longer Tongue ' Gainst which the World has no defence But our more pow'rful Eloquence We manage things of greatest weight In all the World's Affairs of State Are Ministers of War and Peace That sway all Nations how they please We rule all Churches and their Flocks Heretical and Orthodox And are the Heavenly Vehicles O' th' Spirit in all Conventicles By us is all Commerce and Trade Improv'd and manag'd and decay'd For nothing can go off so well Nor bears that Price as what we sell We rule in ev'ry Publick Meeting And make Men do what we judge fitting Are Magistrates in all great Towns Where Men do nothing but wear Gowns We make the Man of War strike Sâ—il And to our braver Conduct vail And when h' has chac'd his Enemies Submit to us upon his Knees Is there an Officer of State Vntimely rais'd or Magistrate That 's Haughty and Imperious He 's but a Journey-man to us That as he gives us cause to do 't Can keep him in or turn him out We are your Guardians that increase Or Waste your Fortunes how we please And as you humour us can deal In all your Matters ill or well 'T is we that can dispose alone Whether your Heirs shall be your own To whose Integrity you must In spight of all your Caution trust And ' less you fly beyond the Seas Can fit you which what Heirs we please And force youâ— ' own 'em though begotten By Freâ—ch Valets or Irish Foot-men Nor can the rigorousest Course Prevail unless to make us worse Who still the harsher we are us'd Are further off from being reduc'd And scorn t' abate for any Ills The least Punctilio of our VVills Force does but whet our Wits to apply Arts born with us for Remedy Which all your Politicks as yet Have ne'er been able to defeat For when y' have try'd all sorts of ways What Fools d'we make of you in Plays VVhile all the Favours we afford Are but to girt you with the Sword To fight our Battels in our steads And have your Brains beat out o' your Heads Encounter in despight of Nature And fight at once with Fire and Water With Pyrates Rocks and Storms and Seas Our Pride and Vanity t' appease Kill one another and cut Throats For our good Graces and best Thoughts To do your Exercise for Honour And have your Brains beat out the sooner Or crack'd as Learnedly upon Things that are never to be known And still appear the more industrious The more your Projects are prepost'rous To square the Circle of the Arts And run stark mad to shew your Parts Expound the Oracle of Laws And turn them which way we see Cause Be our Sollicitors and Agents And stand for us in all Engagements And these are all the Mighty Powers You vainly boast to cry down ours And what in real Value's wanting Supply with Vapouring and Ranting Because your selves are terrify'd And stoop to one another's Pride Believe we have as little Wit To be Out-Hector'd and Submit By your Example lose that Right In Treaties which we gain'd in Fight And terrify'd into an Awe Pass on our selves a Salick Law Or as some Nations use give place And truckle to your Mighty Race Let Men usurp th' unjust Dominion As if they were the better Women FINIS