honour_n if_o thou_o tread_v in_o those_o step_v of_o christ_n which_o lead_v to_o the_o heavenly_a glory_n he_o go_v to_o heaven_n antipode_n to_o this_o vain_a world_n wherein_o thou_o be_v so_o must_v thou_o if_o thou_o desire_v to_o meet_v he_o in_o heaven_n thou_o must_v expect_v and_o look_v to_o have_v all_o the_o world_n set_v against_o thou_o for_o thy_o witness_v to_o the_o truth_n and_o condemn_v the_o error_n and_o wickedness_n of_o the_o world_n thou_o must_v expect_v and_o look_v to_o be_v cast_v off_o by_o father_n and_o all_o fleshly_a relation_n for_o his_o and_o the_o gospel_n sake_n thou_o will_v for_o follow_v christ_n in_o the_o way_n of_o holiness_n be_v account_v a_o hypocrite_n a_o self_n conceit_v and_o a_o self_n justify_v precisian_n and_o proud_a pharisee_n and_o that_o by_o the_o great_a pharisee_n of_o the_o time_n the_o power_n of_o darkness_n will_v all_o combine_v against_o thou_o to_o besiege_v and_o fight_v against_o thou_o and_o yea_o the_o very_a 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and_o consideration_n all_o the_o objection_n which_o either_o devil_n or_o carnal_a reason_n can_v possible_o make_v against_o my_o be_v save_v by_o christ_n and_o by_o manifest_v the_o father_n decree_n and_o purpose_n concern_v i_o in_o eternity_n and_o lay_v open_o the_o nature_n and_o design_n of_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n and_o the_o every_o way_n alsufficiency_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n to_o go_v through_o with_o the_o work_n he_o have_v undertake_v for_o i_o he_o full_o answer_v all_o objection_n and_o confute_v the_o false_a and_o sophistial_a reason_n bring_v in_o by_o satan_n and_o corrupt_a reason_n against_o my_o be_v save_v as_o he_o most_o powerful_o convince_v i_o of_o sin_n and_o the_o misery_n which_o thereby_o i_o bring_v upon_o myself_o and_o that_o when_o he_o become_v a_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n to_o fit_v i_o for_o the_o great_a physician_n so_o likewise_o now_o he_o be_v become_v a_o spirit_n of_o adoption_n he_o as_o powerful_o convince_v i_o of_o that_o spotless_a and_o everlasting_a righteousness_n of_o the_o mediator_n god-man_n by_z and_o for_o which_o i_o be_v justify_v in_o the_o person_n of_o my_o surety_n when_o at_o his_o resurrection_n god_n the_o father_n justify_v and_o acquit_v he_o from_o all_o charge_n of_o sin_n whereto_o he_o become_v liable_a and_o obnoxious_a when_o he_o strike_v hand_n with_o the_o father_n as_o a_o surety_n for_o i_o and_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o elect._n the_o twelve_o thing_n here_o follow_v he_o particular_o assure_v i_o of_o and_o that_o as_o full_o and_o sensible_o as_o ever_o i_o be_v sensible_a that_o i_o see_v natural_a light_n or_o darkness_n 1._o he_o assure_v i_o that_o
a_o revive_v cordial_a for_o a_o sinsick_a despair_v soul_n in_o the_o time_n of_o temptation_n the_o same_o be_v a_o extract_n of_o the_o unworthy_a author_n experience_n of_o the_o particular_a follow_v i._o the_o miraculous_a preservation_n of_o his_o bodily_a life_n from_o the_o many_o death_n and_o eminent_a danger_n which_o threaten_v it_o while_o in_o a_o state_n of_o nature_n ii_o the_o method_n god_n take_v with_o he_o in_o awaken_n he_o to_o look_v into_o and_o to_o mind_n soul_n concern_v when_o about_o fourteen_o year_n of_o age._n iii_o how_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n take_v he_o and_o what_o fearful_a work_v it_o make_v in_o his_o soul_n iu._n how_o the_o spirit_n of_o adoption_n succeed_v the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n heal_v and_o bind_v up_o the_o deep_a wound_n cause_v in_o his_o soul_n thereby_o câ—â—â—_n and_o hear_v all_o you_o that_o fear_v god_n and_o i_o will_v declare_v that_o he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n psal_n 66._o 16._o i_o will_v praise_v thou_o for_o i_o be_o fearful_o and_o wonderful_o make_v marvellous_a be_v thy_o work_n and_o that_o my_o soul_n know_v right_a well_o psal_n 139._o 14._o by_o ja._n barry_n a_o unworthy_a minister_n of_o the_o gospel_n london_n print_v for_o the_o author_n 1699._o to_o his_o very_a much_o respect_v and_o high_o honour_a friend_n mr._n nicholas_n skinner_n merchant_n of_o london_n worthy_a and_o honour_a sir_n the_o laudable_a character_n give_v you_o by_o some_o minister_n of_o christ_n and_o other_o good_a soul_n now_o i_o charitable_o hope_v and_o believe_v praising_n god_n in_o glory_n especial_o the_o experimental_a taste_n i_o myself_o have_v have_v of_o your_o goodness_n since_o providence_n make_v i_o so_o happy_a in_o your_o acquaintance_n have_v encourage_v i_o to_o prefix_v your_o worthy_a and_o deserve_a name_n to_o this_o small_a tract_n who_o design_n and_o chief_a tendency_n be_v to_o encourage_v poor_a deject_a soul_n under_o the_o hiding_n of_o god_n face_n to_o cast_v 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presume_v to_o dedicate_v to_o so_o dear_a and_o well_o deserve_v a_o friend_n as_o you_o be_v well_o know_v to_o be_v both_o to_o god_n truth_n and_o such_o as_o in_o any_o measure_n bear_v the_o bless_a image_n of_o his_o son_n the_o principal_a motive_n of_o their_o importune_v i_o to_o publish_v this_o be_v the_o strange_a influence_n the_o relation_n hereof_o from_o my_o own_o mouth_n have_v upon_o their_o own_o spirit_n the_o effect_n whereof_o they_o be_v not_o able_a to_o hide_v the_o tear_n of_o joy_n gush_v out_o surprise_o from_o their_o eye_n with_o both_o eye_n and_o hand_n lift_v up_o to_o heaven_n wonder_v at_o and_o adore_v the_o wonder_n of_o god_n in_o my_o case_n profess_v and_o declare_v that_o in_o all_o their_o time_n they_o have_v neither_o hear_v nor_o know_v so_o much_o of_o the_o goodness_n and_o grace_n of_o god_n vouchsase_v to_o a_o poor_a lose_v and_o undo_v sinner_n as_o be_v show_v and_o vouchsafe_v to_o unworthy_a i_o which_o occasion_v several_a of_o the_o godly_a minister_n especial_o mr._n noah_n bryan_n mr._n timothy_n taylor_n mr._n samuel_n mather_n and_o the_o dear_a mr._n nathaniel_n mather_n all_o now_o with_o christ_n to_o profess_v that_o they_o never_o hear_v of_o or_o know_v any_o sinner_n come_v so_o near_o to_o paul_n as_o touch_v god_n method_n and_o way_n of_o work_v upon_o and_o deal_v with_o he_o in_o and_o after_o his_o conversion_n as_o i_o do_v and_o therefore_o they_o unanimous_o agree_v in_o judge_v that_o to_o publish_v the_o same_o be_v my_o duty_n the_o which_o they_o doubt_v not_o will_v be_v great_o useful_a and_o that_o both_o to_o saint_n and_o sinner_n on_o sundry_a account_n the_o sincere_a and_o upright_o heart_a nathaniel_n mather_n late_o of_o pinners-hall_n have_v several_a time_n chide_v i_o for_o my_o backwardness_n to_o so_o necessary_a and_o useful_a a_o work_n and_o a_o little_a before_o his_o death_n he_o at_o i_o again_o about_o it_o examine_v into_o the_o ground_n of_o my_o backwardness_n herein_o to_o who_o i_o reply_v sir_n there_o be_v two_o thing_n which_o hitherto_o have_v keep_v i_o back_o from_o publish_v this_o my_o experience_n and_o how_o much_o of_o satan_n there_o may_v be_v in_o it_o i_o can_v determine_v the_o first_o be_v the_o difficulty_n which_o attend_v my_o set_n down_o in_o write_v the_o work_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o adoption_n in_o doscover_v and_o apply_v christ_n unto_o i_o the_o remembrance_n whereof_o do_v so_o swallow_v i_o up_o and_o melt_v i_o that_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o see_v my_o paper_n for_o the_o tear_n of_o joy_n which_o obstruct_v my_o visive_n faculty_n to_o which_o he_o reply_v that_o it_o be_v pity_v any_o thing_n shall_v hinder_v i_o in_o so_o good_a and_o useful_a asleep_o work_n the_o second_o be_v the_o fear_n lodge_v within_o i_o of_o people_n not_o credit_v the_o relation_n i_o shall_v give_v hereof_o in_o case_n it_o be_v print_v for_o say_v i_o the_o great_a part_n of_o professor_n be_v so_o great_a stranger_n to_o the_o nature_n of_o true_a regeneration_n especial_o when_o wrought_v in_o a_o sinner_n in_o the_o way_n and_o method_n god_n take_v with_o i_o that_o they_o will_v rather_o suspect_v and_o question_v the_o truth_n of_o what_o i_o relate_v than_o praise_n god_n or_o improve_v the_o same_o for_o their_o own_o good_a or_o spiritual_a advantage_n for_o the_o same_o to_o which_o reply_n be_v make_v that_o satan_n be_v always_o ready_a to_o obstruct_v any_o good_a work_n which_o have_v the_o least_o tendency_n to_o god_n praise_n or_o the_o good_a of_o soul_n since_o his_o departure_n the_o fresh_a remembrance_n of_o the_o importunity_n of_o the_o worthy_n above_o name_v together_o with_o the_o repeat_v solicitation_n of_o several_a godly_a zealous_a christian_n yet_o live_v have_v prevail_v with_o i_o to_o beat_v my_o way_n through_o those_o difficulty_n which_o lay_v before_o i_o leave_v the_o issue_n of_o my_o present_a undertake_n to_o the_o powerful_a providence_n of_o god_n to_o make_v the_o same_o successful_a in_o what_o it_o be_v design_v for_o and_o beg_v most_o hearty_o your_o pardon_n for_o the_o method_n i_o have_v take_v in_o acknowledge_v the_o great_a kindness_n and_o respect_v show_v by_o your_o religious_a and_o true_o generous_a self_n to_o the_o mean_a and_o most_o unworthy_a of_o christ_n despise_a ambassador_n the_o which_o i_o doubt_v not_o you_o will_v find_v record_v in_o heaven_n by_o my_o lord_n and_o master_n as_o a_o evident_a proof_n of_o your_o faith_n in_o and_o unfeigned_a love_n to_o he_o and_o his_o cause_n and_o interest_n here_o on_o earth_n let_v not_o dear_a sir_n the_o disadvantage_n under_o which_o i_o lie_v on_o account_n of_o the_o slanderous_a reproach_n heap_v on_o i_o by_o malicious_a spirit_n lessen_v your_o hope_n of_o the_o glorious_a recompense_n of_o reward_n promise_v by_o he_o that_o can_v lie_v to_o all_o your_o work_n and_o labour_n of_o love_n express_v to_o i_o and_o other_o of_o god_n child_n for_o the_o sake_n of_o christ_n he_o that_o will_v take_v notice_n of_o a_o cup_n of_o cold_a water_n give_v to_o a_o disciple_n in_o the_o name_n of_o his_o disciple_n will_v i_o question_v not_o record_v in_o heaven_n the_o refresh_a wine_n i_o have_v drink_v at_o your_o table_n more_o than_o once_o and_o the_o silver_n and_o gold_n send_v i_o and_o give_v i_o by_o yourself_o whereby_o both_o i_o and_o my_o distress_a family_n have_v be_v keep_v from_o sink_v into_o the_o dust_n and_o albeit_o i_o shall_v at_o the_o great_a day_n of_o judgement_n appear_v to_o be_v a_o cast_n away_o from_o christ_n of_o which_o through_o infinite_a grace_n i_o be_o no_o more_o afraid_a than_o i_o be_o afraid_a that_o god_n can_v cease_v to_o be_v what_o he_o be_v yet_o your_o integrity_n and_o uprightness_n in_o what_o you_o
improve_v that_o action_n to_o the_o utmost_a to_o the_o reproach_n of_o dissenter_n the_o which_o afterward_o fall_v out_o as_o i_o fear_v the_o alderman_n refuse_v to_o comply_v with_o that_o my_o but_o reasonable_a request_v he_o allege_v for_o his_o noncompliance_n with_o i_o that_o he_o have_v none_o but_o i_o who_o he_o can_v trust_v in_o a_o affair_n of_o that_o nature_n find_v the_o ineffectualness_n of_o my_o endeavour_n to_o prevail_v with_o the_o alderman_n to_o excuse_v or_o exempt_a i_o from_o that_o service_n and_o his_o strict_a command_n be_v instant_a upon_o i_o a_o writ_n be_v take_v out_o of_o which_o the_o say_a grundy_n have_v notice_n he_o abscond_v for_o a_o time_n on_o this_o i_o take_v the_o two_o special_a bailiff_n who_o be_v to_o execute_v the_o writ_n with_o nine_o or_o ten_o of_o the_o village_n he_o live_v in_o into_o the_o house_n along_o with_o i_o to_o witness_v that_o i_o seize_v those_o good_n which_o be_v visible_a in_o the_o house_n for_o the_o use_n of_o alderman_n preston_n and_o that_o for_o the_o nonpayment_n of_o rent_n i_o move_v no_o good_n but_o leave_v they_o where_o i_o find_v they_o leave_v they_o to_o the_o disposal_n of_o the_o alderman_n immediate_o on_o this_o the_o wretched_a man_n contrive_v with_o some_o papist_n russian_n to_o lay_v a_o plot_n against_o i_o the_o substance_n of_o which_o be_v that_o on_o a_o day_n i_o enter_v his_o house_n to_o distrain_v for_o such_o a_o man_n name_v alderman_n preston_n and_o meet_v with_o a_o cabinet_n i_o force_v the_o lock_n and_o steal_v three_o pound_n fifteen_o shilling_n which_o he_o say_v his_o witness_n will_v positive_o swear_v they_o see_v i_o to_o reckon_v and_o put_v into_o my_o pocket_n forthwith_o he_o ride_v to_o a_o justice_n of_o peace_n for_o a_o warrant_n to_o bind_v i_o over_o acquaint_v the_o justice_n with_o the_o whole_a of_o the_o concern_v in_o all_o its_o circumstance_n the_o justice_n though_o enemy_n enough_o on_o the_o account_n of_o religion_n tell_v he_o plain_o that_o he_o will_v not_o grant_v a_o warrant_n against_o i_o if_o he_o will_v give_v he_o five_o hundred_o pound_n he_o go_v to_o a_o second_o to_o a_o three_o and_o to_o a_o four_o about_o the_o same_o errand_n but_o from_o none_o of_o they_o can_v he_o get_v a_o warrant_n to_o bind_v i_o over_o they_o be_v all_o afraid_a to_o meddle_v at_o that_o time_n with_o i_o whether_o for_o fear_n of_o my_o uncle_n who_o be_v at_o that_o time_n lord_n chief_a justice_n of_o the_o kingdom_n of_o ireland_n or_o from_o any_o restraint_n from_o god_n on_o their_o spirit_n i_o do_v not_o know_v he_o find_v all_o his_o hope_n of_o have_v i_o for_o ever_o disgrace_v if_o not_o arraign_v for_o my_o life_n frustrate_v prepare_v a_o bill_n of_o indictment_n to_o arraign_v i_o at_o my_o uncle_n bar_n the_o term_n next_o ensue_v this_o assault_n i_o confess_v be_v a_o great_a trial_n of_o the_o little_a faith_n and_o patience_n which_o the_o gift_n of_o god_n hand_v out_o to_o my_o poor_a soul_n in_o the_o instant_n of_o regeneration_n as_o ever_o i_o have_v since_o meet_v with_o i_o have_v sometime_o with_o holy_a david_n think_v that_o my_o mountain_n in_o respect_n of_o inward_a and_o settle_a peace_n of_o conscience_n shall_v never_o be_v shake_v or_o move_v till_o this_o storm_n arise_v and_o albeit_o it_o do_v not_o influence_n my_o soul_n inward_o to_o shake_v my_o comfort_n and_o confidence_n in_o god_n god_n and_o my_o own_o conscience_n know_v my_o integrity_n and_o innocency_n in_o the_o thing_n lay_v to_o my_o charge_n yet_o consider_v the_o reproach_n which_o i_o apprehend_v will_v hence_o arise_v to_o the_o name_n gospel_n and_o people_n of_o god_n the_o stain_n and_o scandal_n it_o will_v be_v to_o my_o whole_a family_n no_o man_n can_v full_o conceive_v the_o disquietude_n and_o shame_n which_o take_v up_o its_o lodging_n in_o my_o breast_n oh_o the_o toss_n and_o work_n of_o my_o spirit_n lord_n think_v i_o what_o will_v this_o come_v to_o thou_o know_v my_o innocency_n in_o this_o matter_n but_o the_o world_n will_v ready_o believe_v i_o be_o guilty_a blasphemy_n and_o sad_a reproach_n will_v hence_o redound_v to_o thy_o most_o holy_a and_o tremendous_a name_n and_o gospel_n which_o i_o value_v unspeakable_o more_o than_o my_o life_n and_o all_o the_o world_n the_o true_o godly_a and_o religious_a the_o only_a man_n of_o my_o delight_n will_v with_o sad_a heart_n often_o think_v how_o sad_o they_o be_v mistake_v in_o i_o what_o to_o apprehend_v this_o storm_n will_v issue_v in_o any_o other_o than_o what_o i_o have_v already_o express_v i_o can_v not_o imagine_v the_o guiltless_a blush_n which_o daily_o on_o this_o occasion_n appear_v in_o my_o countenance_n i_o conclude_v will_v be_v to_o all_o that_o see_v i_o a_o argument_n of_o my_o gild_n the_o thought_n of_o the_o term_n approach_v increase_v the_o inward_a perturbation_n of_o my_o mind_n and_o the_o blush_n of_o my_o face_n to_o think_v i_o must_v stand_v arraign_v for_o felony_n before_o a_o judge_n and_o all_o my_o other_o relation_n who_o but_o a_o few_o year_n before_o have_v unanimous_o censure_v condemn_v and_o cast_v i_o out_o of_o their_o favour_n and_o affection_n for_o be_v a_o fanatic_a as_o they_o term_v true_a and_o gospel_n religion_n oh_o how_o close_o this_o go_v secret_o wish_v but_o still_o with_o humble_a submission_n to_o god_n that_o he_o will_v please_v either_o to_o break_v that_o horrid_a plot_n before_o i_o come_v to_o be_v public_o arraign_v as_o a_o malefactor_n or_o else_o call_v i_o off_o by_o death_n which_o i_o do_v unspeakable_o prefer_v before_o live_v to_o be_v a_o cause_n of_o reproach_n and_o blasphemy_n to_o the_o name_n and_o religion_n of_o the_o most_o high_a god_n as_o the_o term_n draw_v very_o near_o and_o the_o various_a and_o restless_a toss_n of_o my_o mind_n on_o that_o account_n increase_v god_n infinite_o wise_a and_o ever_o faithful_a to_o his_o word_n who_o best_o know_v how_o to_o time_n deliverance_n and_o break_v those_o net_n in_o which_o the_o enemy_n hope_v to_o catch_v the_o innocent_a he_o a_o very_a short_a space_n before_o the_o term_n le_fw-fr we_o loose_v the_o reins_o to_o this_o wicked_a man_n guilty_a conscience_n which_o wrought_v so_o violent_o with_o he_o that_o all_o the_o strength_n of_o reason_n in_o he_o yea_o the_o hope_n he_o inward_o cherish_v of_o see_v i_o bring_v to_o perpetual_a disgrace_n if_o not_o cut_v off_o be_v not_o able_a to_o restrain_v he_o from_o tread_v the_o foot_n step_v of_o judas_n a_o rope_n he_o get_v out_o he_o go_v to_o his_o own_o garden_n in_o the_o dusk_n of_o the_o evening_n and_o have_v fasten_v the_o rope_n about_o his_o neck_n just_a as_o he_o be_v draw_v the_o end_n of_o the_o rope_n through_o the_o arm_n of_o a_o tree_n on_o which_o he_o design_v to_o hang_v himself_o his_o wife_n and_o his_o man_n happen_v to_o discover_v what_o he_o be_v about_o on_o this_o the_o shout_z be_v up_o and_o such_o a_o cry_v make_v as_o do_v present_o bring_v about_o he_o all_o the_o neighbour_n who_o over_o pour_a he_o prevent_v his_o intend_a design_n but_o notwithstanding_o their_o cut_v the_o rope_n yet_o can_v they_o have_v no_o access_n to_o that_o guilty_a conscience_n of_o he_o to_o assuage_v or_o allay_v the_o horrible_a and_o self_n condemn_v agony_n which_o like_o restless_a wave_n and_o billow_n do_v distract_v and_o torment_v his_o soul_n he_o be_v by_o force_n stretch_v on_o his_o bed_n and_o with_o the_o same_o rope_n he_o attempt_v to_o hand_n himself_o be_v fast_o bind_v to_o the_o bed_n he_o fall_v into_o rage_v and_o desperate_a fit_n like_v to_o a_o demoniac_a dash_v his_o head_n with_o all_o his_o force_n against_o the_o bed-stock_n foam_v at_o the_o mouth_n utter_v these_o word_n as_o fast_o and_o with_o a_o strange_a vehemency_n which_o fright_v all_o the_o bystander_n as_o he_o can_v viz._n i_o drive_v away_o cow_n i_o sell_v cow_n no_o i_o drive_v away_o no_o cow_n i_o sell_v no_o cow_n roger_n eckersley_n and_o captain_n stopford_n will_v give_v under_o their_o hand_n that_o i_o be_o a_o honest_a man_n and_o so_o in_o rage_a madness_n expire_v his_o last_o breath_n with_o these_o word_n in_o his_o die_a mouth_n i_o drive_v no_o cow_n away_o i_o sell_v no_o cow_n which_o be_v the_o last_o word_n he_o speak_v the_o reader_n must_v know_v that_o before_o this_o plot_n design_v against_o my_o life_n and_o reputation_n the_o same_o poor_a wretch_n commence_v a_o law_n suit_n against_o i_o or_o which_o he_o have_v not_o the_o least_o appearance_n of_o reason_n save_v what_o he_o and_o some_z other_o as_o desperate_o wicked_a as_o himself_o have_v contrive_v and_o which_o be_v stout_o swear_v
make_v to_o a_o window_n look_v into_o a_o pleasant_a garden_n i_o lean_v on_o the_o window_n with_o my_o elbow_n and_o so_o bear_v up_o my_o body_n from_o fall_v which_o otherwise_o have_v undoubted_o sink_v down_o under_o its_o present_a load_n and_o weight_n occasion_v by_o that_o temptation_n remain_v for_o some_o little_a space_n in_o a_o horrible_a tremble_v and_o amaze_a consternation_n of_o spirit_n i_o look_v out_o into_o the_o garden_n begin_v begin_v to_o consider_v and_o reason_n with_o myself_o thus_o how_o come_v these_o tree_n to_o grow_v thus_o orderly_o in_o this_o place_n who_o rear_v or_o build_v these_o sumptuous_a building_n sure_o not_o themselves_o why_o then_o think_v i_o if_o not_o themselves_o then_o of_o necessity_n they_o must_v spring_n from_o some_o cause_n high_a and_o more_o noble_a than_o themselves_o viz_o man._n then_o from_o the_o consideration_n of_o the_o tree_n and_o the_o building_n i_o begin_v to_o exercise_n my_o thought_n about_o man_n and_o 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temptation_n vanish_v the_o devil_n perceive_v himself_o foil_v in_o this_o attempt_n he_o set_v furious_o on_o i_o with_o blasphemous_a thought_n represent_v god_n in_o such_o vile_a shape_n and_o hideous_a and_o base_a idea_n to_o my_o mind_n that_o be_v i_o to_o undergo_v the_o utmost_a of_o misery_n that_o creature_n be_v capable_a of_o inflict_v or_o i_o capable_a of_o suffer_v i_o do_v humble_o hope_v in_o christ_n strength_n i_o shall_v unspeakable_o choose_v rather_o to_o be_v rack_v to_o death_n than_o but_o once_o to_o name_v they_o so_o vile_a hideous_a and_o horrible_a be_v they_o proceed_v rather_o from_o the_o enrage_a and_o revengeful_a malice_n of_o the_o devil_n against_o the_o majesty_n of_o god_n than_o from_o the_o corruption_n and_o pravity_n of_o nature_n these_o thing_n i_o do_v but_o glance_v or_o touch_n at_o not_o from_o any_o delight_n i_o take_v in_o the_o remembrance_n of_o they_o but_o rather_o for_o the_o relief_n of_o some_o poor_a tempt_v despair_v soul_n who_o probable_o may_v be_v conflict_v with_o the_o same_o fiery_a assault_n conclude_v within_o themselves_o as_o i_o often_o do_v that_o none_o belong_v to_o god_n can_v ever_o be_v possess_v with_o such_o black_a and_o dismal_a thought_n oh_o the_o gastliness_n and_o fearful_a tremble_n oh_o the_o sweat_v and_o weariness_n of_o my_o very_a life_n which_o these_o satanical_a injection_n cause_v in_o i_o a_o sure_a and_o convince_a argument_n they_o be_v immediate_o from_o the_o devil_n and_o none_o else_o the_o sin_n flow_v from_o the_o pravity_n of_o nature_n be_v common_o rather_o please_a and_o delightful_a than_o amaze_a and_o terrify_v to_o nature_n in_o this_o sad_a condition_n i_o continue_v so_o long_o till_o my_o very_a animal_n spirit_n be_v even_o drink_v up_o and_o the_o radical_a moisture_n of_o my_o body_n waste_v by_o that_o burn_a inflammation_n which_o i_o sensible_o feel_v invade_v and_o possess_v my_o body_n the_o pitiful_a and_o deplorable_a state_n i_o be_v in_o both_o in_o respect_n of_o my_o soul_n which_o i_o find_v be_v invade_v by_o the_o terror_n of_o god_n for_o the_o breach_n of_o his_o royal_a law_n and_o as_o i_o very_o conclude_v give_v up_o to_o satan_n by_o god_n in_o a_o judicial_a way_n to_o be_v possess_v by_o he_o as_o also_o in_o respect_n of_o my_o body_n in_o which_o the_o sad_a symptom_n of_o my_o approach_a doom_n do_v as_o i_o very_o think_v hourly_o appear_v such_o as_o the_o grow_a and_o increase_n of_o that_o burn_a inflammation_n already_o mention_v decay_n of_o my_o sight_n which_o necessitate_v the_o use_n of_o spectacle_n at_o the_o age_n of_o 25_o year_n the_o loss_n of_o my_o smell_a and_o taste_v for_o about_o three_o month_n with_o a_o great_a decay_n of_o my_o hear_v so_o ghastly_a a_o sight_n be_v i_o to_o behold_v that_o i_o become_v a_o spectacle_n of_o wonderment_n to_o all_o the_o family_n where_o i_o live_v some_o conclude_v that_o i_o be_v starve_v by_o my_o frequent_a fast_n other_o very_o conclude_v that_o spirit_n haunt_v i_o which_o cause_v in_o i_o such_o ghastly_a look_n and_o cause_v my_o body_n to_o bend_v and_o bow_n towards_o crookedness_n so_o heavy_a and_o insupportable_a be_v the_o load_n i_o lay_v under_o chap._n iu._n discover_v how_o the_o spirit_n of_o adoption_n succeed_v the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n and_o what_o glorious_a effect_n ensue_v thereupon_o the_o last_o day_n of_o my_o bondage_n state_n when_o i_o look_v for_o nothing_o but_o a_o go_v down_o to_o the_o nethermost_a hell_n in_o the_o unconceivable_a horror_n and_o amaze_a consternation_n of_o my_o spirit_n there_o be_v a_o place_n of_o scripture_n which_o run_v in_o my_o thought_n from_o morning_n to_o bedtime_n the_o place_n of_o scripture_n be_v esa_n 43._o 25._o i_o even_o i_o be_o he_o that_o blot_v out_o thy_o transgression_n for_o my_o own_o sake_n and_o will_v not_o remember_v thy_o sin_n this_o scripture_n get_v such_o hold_n of_o my_o mind_n and_o thought_n that_o albeit_o i_o no_o more_o understand_v the_o sense_n or_o meaning_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n in_o it_o or_o how_o it_o come_v into_o my_o mind_n that_o day_n than_o a_o pagan_a that_o never_o know_v any_o thing_n of_o the_o true_a god_n i_o can_v not_o possible_o keep_v my_o thought_n fix_v on_o any_o thing_n all_o the_o day_n but_o on_o that_o very_a scripture_n roll_v and_o tumble_a the_o bare_a word_n in_o my_o thought_n incessant_o thus_o i_o even_o i_o be_o he_o that_o blot_v out_o thy_o transgression_n for_o my_o own_o sake_n and_o will_v not_o rememberthy_n sin_n ay_o even_o i_o be_o he_o that_o blot_v out_o thy_o transgression_n for_o my_o own_o sake_n and_o will_v not_o remember_v thy_o sin_n and_o so_o all_o the_o day_n till_o bedtime_n i_o be_v somewhat_o astonish_v at_o the_o change_n which_o i_o find_v in_o myself_o in_o reference_n to_o my_o thought_n about_o the_o scripture_n for_o whereas_o before_o during_o the_o state_n of_o my_o spiritual_a bondage_n which_o be_v between_o three_o and_o four_o year_n i_o can_v think_v of_o no_o scripture_n but_o such_o as_o treat_v of_o damnation_n of_o fall_v away_o and_o of_o sin_v against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n always_o apply_v the_o same_o to_o myself_o desperate_o conclude_v that_o my_o own_o doom_n be_v in_o those_o terrible_a scripture_n set_v forth_o and_o discover_v i_o that_o day_n forget_v those_o terrify_a scripture_n and_o can_v as_o i_o say_v think_v of_o nothing_o but_o that_o place_n in_o esa_n 43._o 25_o above_o mention_v and_o that_o without_o the_o least_o apprehension_n what_o the_o sense_n of_o the_o spirit_n in_o these_o word_n shall_v be_v or_o how_o or_o wherefore_o that_o scripture_n shall_v make_v such_o a_o forceable_a entry_n on_o my_o mind_n and_o thought_n as_o to_o eject_v and_o banish_v from_o my_o thought_n and_o remembrance_n the_o other_o terrible_a scripture_n by_o the_o wrong_a application_n of_o which_o my_o state_n and_o condition_n become_v as_o to_o my_o own_o sense_n and_o 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let_v i_o alone_o to_o rejoice_v in_o the_o choice_n i_o have_v make_v have_v my_o relation_n feel_v what_o i_o have_v feel_v for_o sin_v against_o god_n and_o can_v they_o taste_v the_o joy_n and_o sweet_a comfort_n of_o god_n which_o have_v put_v i_o out_o of_o conceit_n and_o love_n with_o the_o present_a world_n they_o will_v i_o question_v not_o be_v not_o only_o unwilling_a to_o blame_v and_o censure_v i_o for_o the_o choice_n i_o have_v make_v but_o they_o themselves_o will_v ready_o and_o hearty_o make_v the_o same_o choice_n for_o which_o i_o be_o now_o slight_v and_o judge_v to_o be_v miserable_a my_o relation_n find_v how_o ineffectual_a their_o method_n prove_v to_o gain_v i_o they_o soon_o turn_v their_o smile_n into_o frown_n and_o their_o kind_a speech_n into_o discourage_a menace_n what_o severe_a course_n shall_v be_v take_v with_o i_o to_o reclaim_v and_o reduce_v i_o to_o obedience_n my_o lord_n threaten_v severe_o that_o he_o will_v have_v i_o bind_v with_o rope_n on_o a_o porter_n back_o and_o bring_v into_o the_o church_n in_o the_o time_n of_o divine_a service_n to_o this_o i_o reply_v that_o if_o his_o lordship_n do_v not_o as_o well_o gag_v my_o mouth_n as_o bind_v my_o hand_n and_o foot_n i_o will_v certain_o roar_v out_o and_o disturb_v all_o the_o people_n at_o their_o devotion_n for_o fear_v of_o which_o no_o force_n of_o that_o kind_a be_v offer_v i_o after_o some_o considerable_a time_n my_o father_n and_o lord_n find_v that_o neither_o fair_a and_o gentle_a mean_n will_v allure_v and_o draw_v i_o to_o the_o lyturgy_n in_o their_o church_n and_o that_o no_o severity_n wherewith_o they_o threaten_v i_o can_v drive_v i_o from_o the_o pure_a worship_n of_o god_n in_o the_o meeting_n i_o be_v soon_o attack_v with_o great_a and_o sharp_a opposition_n than_o i_o have_v before_o meet_v with_o from_o they_o first_o by_o my_o father_n who_o in_o the_o presence_n and_o hear_v of_o at_o least_o forty_o of_o our_o family_n take_v i_o to_o task_n about_o my_o principle_n and_o in_o regard_n of_o the_o small_a hope_n he_o have_v of_o convince_v i_o by_o the_o argument_n he_o use_v he_o open_o declare_v his_o resolution_n never_o to_o own_v i_o for_o his_o son_n unless_o i_o forsake_v the_o meeting_n and_o come_v to_o the_o church_n and_o service_n again_o as_o formerly_z and_o this_o sir_n say_v my_o father_n i_o think_v fit_a to_o tell_v you_o before_o all_o these_o friend_n to_o the_o end_n you_o may_v take_v it_o into_o serious_a consideration_n whether_o of_o the_o twain_n you_o judge_v more_o eligible_a to_o forsake_v your_o fanatic_a opinion_n and_o schismatical_a companion_n or_o to_o be_v deprive_v of_o the_o love_n and_o affection_n of_o a_o father_n and_o know_v it_o sir_n say_v he_o that_o i_o do_v by_o the_o authority_n of_o a_o father_n command_v and_o require_v you_o to_o fix_v on_o whether_o of_o these_o two_o you_o intend_v to_o choose_v and_o that_o within_o a_o week_n if_o you_o resolve_v to_o hold_v your_o 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achilles_n i_o be_o uncertain_a but_o in_o this_o of_o the_o wound_v and_o heal_v of_o my_o soul_n i_o be_o not_o more_o certain_a of_o any_o thing_n in_o nature_n than_o i_o be_o that_o the_o spirit_n of_o christ_n which_o wound_v i_o by_o the_o law_n do_v also_o heal_n i_o by_o the_o gospel_n job_n 5._o 18._o for_o he_o make_v sore_a and_o bind_v up_o he_o wound_v and_o his_o hand_n make_v whole_a observation_n iu._n see_v and_o learn_v hence_o how_o steadfast_a and_o faithful_a god_n be_v to_o his_o word_n of_o promise_n when_o for_o christ_n and_o the_o gospel_n be_v forsake_v and_o cast_v off_o by_o my_o father_n and_o all_o other_o fleshly_a relation_n be_v turn_v out_o empty_z handed_z to_o the_o wide_a world_n and_o not_o know_v whether_o to_o go_v or_o what_o to_o do_v god_n take_v care_n of_o i_o and_o provide_v a_o lodging_n and_o friend_n for_o i_o which_o with_o the_o peace_n of_o my_o conscience_n give_v i_o more_o satisfaction_n and_o comfortable_a content_n than_o all_o 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who_o be_v the_o son_n and_o daughter_n of_o god_n they_o be_v become_v my_o brethren_n and_o sister_n and_o albeit_o many_o of_o they_o who_o know_v i_o not_o be_v on_o malicious_a report_n prejudice_v against_o i_o yet_o other_o of_o they_o who_o know_v i_o and_o god_n deal_v with_o i_o they_o love_v i_o dear_o i_o have_v be_v forsake_v by_o several_a of_o my_o church_n member_n in_o ireland_n and_o england_n christ_n my_o lord_n and_o master_n have_v be_v so_o before_o i_o jo._n 6._o 66._o from_o that_o time_n many_o of_o his_o disciple_n go_v back_o and_o walk_v no_o more_o with_o he_o yet_o god_n be_v my_o god_n still_o i_o have_v be_v forsake_v of_o my_o brethren_n in_o the_o sacred_a office_n and_o left_a to_o stand_v alone_o when_o popery_n and_o quakerism_n be_v come_v in_o like_o a_o flood_n none_o step_v in_o to_o help_v or_o encourage_v i_o against_o those_o adversary_n of_o god_n religion_n but_o he_o that_o stand_v by_o paul_n when_o all_o other_o preacher_n in_o his_o day_n forsake_v he_o stand_v by_o i_o and_o embolden_v i_o against_o their_o threat_n and_o malice_n i_o have_v thought_n of_o print_v the_o most_o material_a objection_n bring_v in_o by_o satan_n to_o distress_n and_o distract_v a_o poor_a sinner_n to_o keep_v he_o from_o christ_n and_o how_o the_o spirit_n of_o grace_n teach_v and_o enable_v i_o to_o answer_v they_o all_o but_o my_o intend_a brevity_n have_v prevent_v i_o therein_o all_o glory_n honour_n and_o eternal_a praise_n to_o the_o only_a wise_a and_o glorious_a god_n father_n son_n and_o holy_a ghost_n amen_n amen_n postscript_n je_v satan_n shall_v get_v a_o advantage_n by_o this_o relation_n of_o god_n strange_a and_o wonderful_a deal_n with_o i_o in_o bring_v i_o home_o to_o christ_n in_o such_o a_o unusual_a manner_n and_o his_o handle_v i_o so_o sharp_o by_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n as_o also_o his_o bountiful_a deal_n with_o i_o in_o make_v my_o soul_n the_o receptacle_n of_o such_o ravish_a joy_n and_o 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in_o the_o spiritual_a birth_n some_o woman_n go_v through_o abundant_o more_o and_o sharp_a pain_n and_o throw_v in_o travel_n than_o other_o meet_v with_o some_o babe_n meet_v with_o great_a difficulty_n and_o danger_n in_o the_o birth_n than_o do_v other_o the_o cause_n whereof_o in_o nature_n though_o they_o appear_v not_o to_o we_o yet_o it_o be_v most_o certain_a that_o so_o it_o be_v so_o in_o conversion_n some_o soul_n pass_v through_o great_a horror_n and_o bondage_n in_o the_o conscience_n than_o other_o do_v some_o be_v bring_v as_o it_o be_v through_o the_o very_a jaw_n of_o hell_n and_o desperation_n as_o i_o be_v other_o be_v deal_v more_o easy_o and_o gentle_o with_o be_v sweet_o allure_v and_o as_o it_o be_v insensible_o transplant_v into_o christ_n they_o not_o well_o know_v what_o be_v do_v to_o they_o paul_n and_o the_o rugged_a jailor_n be_v handle_v more_o rough_o their_o conscience_n be_v more_o deep_o wound_v with_o the_o frightning_n terror_n of_o god_n law_n set_v home_n by_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n than_o lydia_n who_o heart_n the_o lord_n open_v with_o more_o gentle_a touch_v of_o his_o spirit_n act_n 9_o 6._o act_n 16._o 15_o 29._o that_o woman_n who_o be_v safe_o deliver_v without_o any_o danger_n or_o great_a difficulty_n to_o herself_o or_o her_o babe_n have_v no_o reason_n to_o question_n whether_o she_o be_v indeed_o deliver_v because_o she_o go_v not_o through_o such_o danger_n and_o difficulty_n as_o her_o neighbour_n do_v who_o narrow_o escape_v with_o her_o life_n neither_o have_v she_o any_o cause_n of_o be_v jealous_a with_o her_o neighbour_n because_o her_o case_n or_o condition_n be_v more_o dangerous_a and_o desperate_a in_o travel_n than_o be_v she_o own_o thou_o who_o be_v bring_v to_o christ_n by_o the_o gentle_a drawing_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o grace_n and_o not_o bring_v so_o nigh_o to_o the_o affrightning_n sight_n of_o hell_n and_o to_o such_o a_o sense_n and_o feeling_n of_o the_o pain_n of_o the_o damn_a as_o have_v cause_v some_o to_o think_v themselves_o actual_o in_o hell_n admire_v at_o and_o bless_v god_n for_o his_o condescension_n towards_o thou_o in_o bring_v thou_o through_o the_o new_a birth_n so_o easy_o second_o consider_v that_o albeit_o the_o truth_n of_o thy_o conversion_n be_v not_o so_o sensible_o discern_v as_o the_o conversion_n of_o that_o person_n be_v who_o be_v bring_v home_o in_o the_o way_n of_o legal_a terror_n yet_o thou_o be_v bind_v to_o bless_n god_n for_o the_o small_a measure_n of_o grace_n bestow_v on_o thou_o as_o the_o small_a spark_n of_o fire_n though_o it_o be_v hide_v under_o a_o great_a heap_n of_o ash_n be_v as_o true_o fire_n as_o the_o great_a fire_n in_o nature_n so_o thy_o small_a grace_n which_o in_o comparison_n of_o some_o other_o grace_n may_v be_v so_o weak_a and_o little_a that_o it_o can_v scarce_o be_v discern_v yet_o grace_v it_o be_v though_o thou_o know_v it_o not_o to_o be_v so_o and_o he_o who_o bestow_v it_o on_o thou_o and_o wrought_v it_o in_o thou_o he_o will_v never_o reject_v or_o neglect_v thou_o because_o of_o thy_o little_a grace_n while_o he_o see_v thou_o constant_a and_o diligent_a in_o the_o use_n of_o mean_n labour_v to_o grow_v in_o grace_n esa_n 42._o 3._o mat._n 5._o 6._o esa_n 41._o 17._o phil._n 1._o 6._o oh_o but_o i_o do_v not_o find_v that_o i_o be_o bring_v to_o christ_n and_o which_o be_v far_o worse_a i_o fear_v i_o never_o shall_v to_o this_o i_o answer_v in_o two_o particular_n first_o thy_o very_a fear_n about_o this_o great_a of_n concern_v be_v a_o argument_n of_o thy_o translation_n from_o the_o first_o adam_n to_o the_o second_o adam_n christ_n jesus_n the_o lord_n if_o the_o spirit_n of_o grace_n have_v not_o give_v thou_o some_o sight_n and_o taste_n of_o the_o excellency_n and_o sweetness_n of_o christ_n thou_o can_v never_o prize_v or_o desire_v after_o he_o it_o be_v only_o the_o child_n that_o have_v taste_v the_o honey_n or_o sugar_n that_o long_v and_o cry_v for_o more_o second_o if_o thou_o find_v a_o fix_a resolution_n in_o thy_o soul_n in_o go_v on_o to_o seek_v the_o lord_n and_o his_o strength_n by_o prayer_n and_o supplication_n and_o other_o mean_n of_o grace_n not_o rest_v in_o or_o depend_v upon_o they_o but_o on_o christ_n alone_o for_o life_n and_o salvation_n my_o life_n for_o thou_o come_v death_n when_o god_n please_v to_o send_v it_o it_o will_v end_v all_o thy_o fear_n and_o put_v thou_o beyond_o the_o reach_n of_o all_o thy_o enemy_n thy_o frequent_a cry_v to_o god_n in_o prayer_n for_o christ_n and_o save_v grace_n be_v the_o echo_n of_o christ_n pray_v for_o thea_fw-mi at_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n and_o thy_o go_v on_o and_o continue_v to_o watch_n at_o wisdom_n gate_n can_v not_o possible_o be_v without_o invisible_a supply_n of_o spiritual_a strength_n communicate_v to_o thy_o soul_n by_o the_o spirit_n of_o christ_n the_o end_n