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ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A33971	Par nobile two treatises, the one concerning the excellent woman, evincing a person fearing the Lord to be the most excellent person, discoursed more privately upon occasion of the death of the Right Honourable the Lady Frances Hobart late of Norwich, from Pro. 31, 29, 30, 31 : the other discovering a fountain of comfort and satisfaction to persons walking with God, yet living and dying without sensible consolations , discovered from Psal. 17, 15 at the funerals of the Right Honourable the Lady Katherine Courten, preached at Blicklin in the county of Norfolk, March 27, 1652 : with the narratives of the holy lives and deaths of those two noble sisters / by J.C.	Collinges, John, 1623-1690.; Collinges, John, 1623-1690. Excellent woman.; Collinges, John, 1623-1690. Light in darkness.	1669 (1669)	Wing C5329; ESTC R26441	164,919	320

There is a bundle of Principles some of which have grown too fast too in these evil times which are calculated for the very Meridian of Atheism and devised as if it had been on purpose to banish all dread of God out of mens hearts That things are not ordered by Providence but come in a meer series and succession of necessary natural causes That there are no spirits no such things as indications of divine wrath That there is no Judgement to be made from Providences If we should see the Earth open and swallow up Corah Dathan and Abiram yet there is nothing to be concluded but these may be as honest men as those that do not go down quick into the pit These and such like Principles are Doctrines devised on purpose to make men faces of Brass that they might not blush and necks of Iron that they might not bow at any divine rebukes but might out-face God to the utmost until he tear them in pieces and there be none to deliver 2. Secondly Take heed of customary sinning against God Frequency in sin taketh away the sense of it and a custom of daring God makes men to forget all kind of fear and dread of the Divine Majesty Sin naturally hardens the heart and takes away all natural modesty 4. Fourthly Nothing so contributes to fear as faith Both faith of assent and faith of adherence Faith of assent is that habit by which we give assent to the Proposition of the word Faith of Reliance is a gracious habit by which we rest upon the person of the Mediatour Either of these hath an influence upon us to beget this fear and dread of God in our souls The one as it perswades us of the truth of what the Scripture reveals concerning the Glory and Majesty of God concerning his Purity and Holiness concerning his Justice and Severity all which represent God unto us as the true and proper object of our fear The other as it uniteth us to Christ and endeareth him to our so●ls and so layeth us under a sacred awe of sinning against him as we naturally fear to offend any person whom we dearly and intirely love and honour It is true the Apostle saith Rom. 8. We have not received the spirit for bondage again to fear And again Perfect love casteth out fear But those texts must be understood not of a filial reverential fear but of a slavish servile fear our daily experience teacheth us that the more intirely we love any person the more we fear to offend and grieve them and to do any thing which we think they will take ill at our hands Faith therefore as it is the root of hope and love so it is the kindest root of filial and ingenuous fear 5. Lastly Beg this Grace of God It is a plant of our heavenly Fathers it is a part of Gods Covenant I will put my fear into their heart that they shall never depart from me O beg of God that he would bestow his fear upon you The fear of God is prima gratia saith Bernard torius Religionis exordium radix est custos omnium bonorum i. e. The fear of the Lord is the first grace the very beginning of all Religion the root and the keeper of all good things therefore pray that above all things God would bestow this grace upon your souls But I shall add no more to the first branch of the Exhortation Let me in the next place speak to you in whom God hath created this fear of his great and glorious Name Two things this Doctrine calleth to you for 1. To grow in this excellent habit 2. To live like excellent persons 1. Labour to grow in this excellent habit There is a fear of God in which the more perfect a Christian is the more he decreaseth in it This is that servile and slavish fear which I mentioned dreading God as a Judge an Enemy one that can cast both body and soul into Hell fire The more a soul grows up into communion with God and into an assurance of union with him the more this fear dieth and weareth out of his soul It is a dread of God which attendeth the spirit of bondage and much possesseth the soul in the moment of its conversion and wears off as the soul comes to receive the spirit of Adoption touching it to cry Abba Father and groweth mo●● perfect in Love But there is another fear which as the soul groweth more perfect in love and in the exercise of grace the more this groweth up and increaseth in the soul this is that fearing of the Lord and his goodness of which the Scripture speaks Such a fear as the tender wife fears her husband with and the dutiful child its Parent who he knows int●rely loves him he feareth not his Fathers rod but he fears his frown he fears the change of his countenance towards him This is that habit of fear in which I would have you to grow 2. And as in this habit so in the performance of all acts and exercises by which you may testifiethis your reverencing of the great God of Heaven and Earth The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom saith Solomon it is both the beginning and the perfection of it The fear of the Lord is a grace necessary at all times especially in evil times Cyril saith that the soul that is full of the fear of the Lord velut n●uro obsepta fortis est is strong as a City guarded with a wall and in a manner invincible 2. This Doctrine calleth to you to live like excellent persons I hinted the reason of this before every one should live ratably to his honour and dignity Persons fearing God are the most excellent persons they should therefore live like the excellent of the Earth distinguishing themselves from others by their lives as God hath distinguished them by his favour But I have hinted this before and therefore shall not here inlarge upon that discourse I have but one word more to add That is to the men of the world in general To them I shall speak from the advantage of what you have heard for three things 1. To undervalue other excellencies in comparison with this Learn to speak after Solomon Favour is deceitful Beauty is vain Riches commend not a soul to God they profit not in the day of wrath Why should you set your eyes upon things that are not and admire things that have nothing of worth in them proportioned to your affection to them admiration of them pursuit after them Knowledge is a fine thing by it a man differs from a beast Wisdom and Moral Vertues are excellent things by these things men out-shine men and excel each other as light excelleth darkness But what are all these to the fear of the Lord O then let these things ride but in the second Chariot let the fear of God in the throne of your estimation be greater than they are Remember nothing so much

with her Ladiship and perceiving the stone upon which she stumbled indeavoured her assistance partly remembring her 1. Of what Solomon saith That none can judge of love or hate by all that is before him Eccles 9. 1. For it may fall out alike to him that is spiritually wise and to him that is spiritually a fool 2. Partly by minding her of what the Apostle tells us That God chasteneth whom he Heb. 12. 6. loveth and scourgeth every one whom he receiveth 3. Partly arguing thus with her If afflictions be tokens of divine wrath then health and prosperity are signs of divine love which is evidently salfe 4. Par●ly by remembring her of the many examples of Gods children in Scripture to whom God had wrung out bitter waters in a full cup who yet at that time when they were so afflicted were undoubtedly beloved of God and exceeding precious in his eyes Such were Joseph David Job Daniel and many others recorded in Scripture With these and such like Arguments I had satisfied her sanctified reason and judgement and thought I should have heard no more of this temptation But soon after it was inforced Two things she had to say 1. The greatness of her affliction spake more than a chastisement with a rod she was scourged with Scorpions 2. The Lords multiplying afflictions and repeating sad Providences to her seemed to argue that he had a quarrel against her Why else should he return upon her body when he had served an execution upon all she had besides To this I replied 1. That the afflictions of Gods people are not called cha●●isements because they are l●ght or little but because they come from the hand of a gracious Father not as legal demands of satisfaction to divine Justice offended because they flow from a principle of love not of wrath and are designed to a gracious end 2. That for the multitude of them Job had as many yet was a person singularly beloved of God and one of whom God gave testimony that there was not one like him in all the East 3. That as the afflictions of Job were of divers hands and exceeding heavy so the succession of them was much like to hers God first took away his children then his estate and last of all let loose Satan upon his person and gave him a liberty to tempt him With these and such like considerations I endeavoured to arm her against this fiery dart at last it pleased him who was therefore tempted that he might be able to succour those that were tempted by his mighty power to lift her over this stone of stumbling and she became fully satisfied that she could neither from the greatness nor multitude of her trials conclude any thing against the love of God to her 2. Tempt If during her afflictions she did not also want the inward consolations of the holy Spirit but alas saith she I have no inward assurance of Gods love no sensible consolations c. Perceiving that her adversary had betaken himself to a new battery I endeavoured to direct her in the use of the Armour of God for the rep●lling of his darts thrown from hence by offering to her consideration 1. That even Gods dearest children have often wanted these influences of the Spirit What else made David cry out When wilt thou comfort me and vestor● unto me the joy of thy salvation What else made the Spouse Cant. 3 1. at such a loss for him whom her soul loved What else caused those sad complaints of the Psalmist Psal 77. To this she replied That it was true but surely if she indeed had any interest in God he would not hide himself from one so pressed with affl●ctions as she was God indeed might thus try his children in health and at liberty but would a tender Father so hide himself from so distressed and a dying child This was hard to imagine of God who is Love I replied to this purpose That sensible consolations were not the necessaries of salvation 2. That the love of God to his children is far more seen in giving the soul necessaries than accommodating it with superfluities 3. That God is no where in Scripture tyed by his promise to Saints for the comforts of assurance to be given them in at this or that hour 4. That it is a very great mistake in Christians to judge they want the manifestations of the Spirit because they want these consolatory reflections for the Spirit manifesteth it self in the soul as well by the influences of strengthening and quickening as comforting grace and the witnessings of it That David was become like a bottle in the smoke that his eyes failed for Gods Word saying When wilt thou comfort me Psal 119. 82 83. yet he was at that time Gods child yea the man according to his heart That Job also as might be gathered from several passages in his Book often wanted these sensible manifestations at last I commended a Sermon upon that subject to her after the reading of which her Spirit was more composed and she satisfied that if she could but find the strengthening and quickening influences of divine grace she had no reason for want of sensible consolations to conclude against her self 3 Tempt Satan perceiving this fiery dart well nigh quenched betakes him again to his quiver for another arrow his next device was to perswade her that she wanted also the strengthening grace of God soon after I heard her speaking to this sense 'T is true Sir if I could but find the grace of God strengthening me unto duty against sin I think I ought not to cast away my hope though I do want assurance that I am my Beloveds and my Beloved mine but alas I want this Sir I am now at such a pass I cannot pray c. God hath laid his hand upon my mouth and I cannot open it so much as to say unto him Abba Father Observing the subtilty of this crafty adversary to perswade her from some partial weaknesses and those also much occasioned from bodily distempers that she wholly wanted the workings of the Spirit of Grace I accordingly applied my self to her She tells me it was true she had learned from the Apostle Rom. 8. 11. That if she had the Spirit of Christ she was his which way soever the Spirit as the author of special and distinguishing grace pleased to work in her and she did believe That if the Spirit of him who raised up Jesus from the dead dwelt in Rom. 8. 11. 15. Gal. 4. 6. Rom. 8. 26. her he that raised up Christ from the dead should also one day quicken her mortal body by his Spirit dwelling in her But Sir said she this spirit is a spirit of supplication a spirit of adoption teaching to cry Abba Father a spirit helping our infirmities in prayer To which I replied 1. That this was no more than the lot of Gods children Asaph or whoever was the author of that 77 Psalm complained

I will give thy substance 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and all Jer. 17. 3. Isa 30. 7. thy treasures to the spoil Isa 30. 7. They will carry their riches upon the shoulders of young Asses Honours credit and reputation are expressed under the other term in the text 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 often used in Scripture to express the favour of others to us Thus the world accounteth him or her that is rich honourable in credit and favour with the world more excellent than those that are of mean parentage mean estate or of no repute in the world And thus I have given you a short account of the most of those things which raise the value of any person in the world to which might have been added Wit and Fancy and some noble vertuous actions The latter is mentioned in the text Many daughters have done vertuously And indeed though it be the great errour of the men of the world to over-rate those things and because of them to set too high a value upon the person possessed of them yet there is something of true worth value and excellency in them and they at least some of them and some of them more than others do confer something of excellency upon the person whom it pleaseth God to bless with them Solomon himself yields it when he saith in the text Many Daughters have done vertuously And that leadeth me to a further consideration what there is of real value in these things we shall find if we wisely consider it That the true excellency which these things have and which they can confer upon the person blessed with them chiefly dependeth upon these things First They are all of them the gifts of God though they be not of his choicest and best sort of gifts yet his gifts they are and not the portions of all persons That one is more nobly and ingenuously born is Gods gift who breathed his soul into a finer piece of clay than anothers He is our Potter and they are his hands that have shaped one body into a more lovely and beautiful form than anothers and hath knit the joynts of one more strong than anothers It is he that hath given to one a quicker understanding a more dexterous wit and fancy a more solid judgement a more tenacious memory a more active spirit than another All this cometh from the Lord. It is he that hath more disposed the mind of one than another to moral vertue meekness ingenuity courtesie sobriety c. It is he that hath given to one more than to another favour in the eyes of Princes and great persons or in the eyes of the common people It is he that hath given to one a greater estate than to another and by whose guidance and assistance one doth more noble and virtuous actions than another Promotion cometh not from the East nor from the West nor from the South but God is the Judge he pulleth down one and setteth up another saith the Psalmist Psal 67. 6 7. Favour is not to men of skill Eccles 9. God gave Joseph favour in the eyes of his Keeper and the Israelites in the sight of the Egyptians It were easie to shew you the Scripture speaking the like concerning Riches and other-accomplishments of Nature and gifts of Providence so Christians call them acknowledging the donor of them the Heathen called them the gifts of fortune which they dreamed to be one of the four causes of all things and made to be a God Now I say this putteth an excellency upon the things themselves and also upon the person possessed with them whoso hath them hath more to shew for a favour that God hath to him than he that wanteth them unless he hath this same excellent thing in my text A second thing which commendeth these or some of these things is their usefulness as to our comfortable being and subsistence in this life Riches and Favour though they be things more external and forein to what truly makes up a reasonable creature or adorneth him considered in that capacity yet they have this excellency in them that whoso is possessed of them is at a better advantage than another man for a comfortable subsistence in the world and to do good to others than he that is poor and of no credit and reputation in the world Strength and health of body upon which strength you know much depends are necessary and advantagious to us for our comfortable subsistence An Active busie diligent spirit is that also which maketh rich through the blessing of God and upon this account all these things have a true and real excellency in them and ought to be looked upon as the blessings of God which we ought to acknowledge and to receive with thankfulness at his hand Lastly There is an excellency in some of them and which they give to the persons that are possest of them which lies in their approvableness to the reasonable nature of man All of them do not so approve themselves to our rational part reason understands not the excellency of great parentage or a fair face nor of riches or honours c. But now knowledge prudence sobriety temperance modesty with other moral virtues are things which have in them a certain innate and connatural beauty even reason being Judge and make the person possessed of them as much to excite another that is ignorant immodest impudent intemperate foolish as light excelleth darkness and upon this account it was that the wiser Heathens valued them though they knew nothing of the revealed mind and will of God in reference to them and considered them not at all as falling under a divine precept but only as improvements of nature and due products of a soul that had not lost its reason and was not metamorphosed by debauchery The Heathens had no other eye than that of reason no other ballance than that in which to weigh things that differed And now I think we have made a just estimate of other things the fear of the Lord only excepted which either do or may put a value upon any person in this world above his neighbour we have seen what they are and how much they signifie The summ is this That there are many things which either really or at least in common opinion make a man or woman to excel Bodily perfections strength health beauty mental endowments knowledge judgement wit prudence moral vertues temperance sobriety c. An active diligent spirit and temper fitted for business in our respective callings things more external such as honour estate favour credit and reputation And though it be very usual as I have said to over-rate these things and to overvalue persons blessed with them because of them yet these things considered as the gifts and favours of God and as things of singular advantage to us with reference to the comfortable beeing and subsistence of our outward man in the world and as some of them are naturally far more

to the performance of it under the fear of the greatest terrours such the terrours of the Lord are and under the incouragement of the largest promises and upon the highest principles of ingenuity A man or woman not fearing God may be under obligations to do no man wrong to give to every one his due to do good to others c. But I pray what are his obligations Let us weigh them apart and consider them with the obligations to the same things which are upon the hearts of persons fearing the Lord and who have in them this same principle 1. Others may be under the obligations of humane Laws and blessed be God for them to them we are beholden that there are in the world no more murthers thefts and other disorders to the utter confusion of humane society Men are afraid of the Ax the Gallows c. But alas what is the force of these compared with the terrour of everlasting fire prepared for the Devil and his Angels If he be under an obligation to avoid these enormous disorders in humane society who is only awed from them with the fear of a Gaol or Gallows what is he think you who is afraid of being tormented in Hell by the wrath of God to all eternity Where the worm never dieth and the fire never goeth out It is true there is the same obligation upon him that feareth not God he is in danger of Hell fire but it is the person fearing God who alone firmly and fixedly believeth any such thing Others if they do not laugh and mock at such things yet very faintly assent to Propositions of such a nature 2. Obligations may lie upon others to just and vertuous actions from the rational beauty and comeliness of a just and sober conversation above one which is lewd and debaucht Until reason in man be out-lawed and beas●ly passions and affections have perfectly subdued it moral vertue will commend it self to humane nature But what is the force of this obligation compared with the Will of God to that man who hath said the Lord shall rule over him Or to the apprehension of a Conformity by such actions to Jesus Christ to him to whom Christ is precious who hath avowed Christ to be his Master and assumed to be his Disciple What is this obligation to the consideration of a gracious man that these are the fruits of the Spirit which he hath received and in which he standeth obliged to walk and that the contrary acts are the fruits of the flesh which he standeth obliged to mortifie which if he so much as savours they will argue him to walk after the flesh and conclude him liable to condemnation as having no interest in Jesus Christ The gracious man does not these things because reason only approves them but because God hath commanded and because God doth approve them because they are the Will of God concerning him because Jesus Christ while in the flesh so walked setting him an an example c. 3. Thirdly Others may have obligations upon them to do some such things from good nature Some naturally are of more sweet and ingenuous natures than others are more naturally inclined to justice pitty mercy and this obligation worketh very high where it is found But alas what is this to his obligation who hath these things as branches of the Law of God ingraven upon his heart and that in that deep sculpture which the finger of the holy Spirit useth to make to his who hath a new name yea and a new nature given to him and from that new nature acts according to the prescript of Divine Law freely and ingenuously not from constraint Luther sometimes said of such a one Justus non debet bene agere sed bene agit A passage that had need of a candid interpretation but thus far true That a man or woman truly fearing God is not so much constrained by the force of a Divine Law in which sense it may be the Apostle saith that the Law is not made for him as compelled by his new nature and the generous principles of the new creature his nature is quite altered the things which he hated he now loveth and what he formerly loved he now abhorreth 4. Again a man or woman not fearing God may be under some obligations to just and vertuous actions which may make him a good neighbour From Honour obedience to Governours Courtesie to some who have done him a kindness or an ingenuous nature abhorring to do wrong to such as have done him none But alas what are these compared with the honour of maintaining the repute of a Christian of a child of God who is concerned to walk unblameably as a Spouse of Christ which must be presented without spot and wrinckle who is pressed to these actions from a far higher ingagement upon his ingenuity as they are the prescripts of that God who hath loved him with an everlasting love of that dear Saviour who hath not loved his life for his sake I saith he must love mine enemies do good to them that hate me bless them that persecute me and pray for them who despitefully use me Thus I shall be like my Father which is in Heaven Thus I shall fulfil the Royal Law of Love under which my Saviour hath laid me I cannot say I love him if I do not keep his Commandments 5. One not fearing God may be principled to some such actions from some hopes either from some particular friends who if he behave himself vertuously will do well by him make him their heir or for some hopes of honour credit and repute in the world and these things oft-times go a great way But how much greater is the obligation to these things under which a gracious soul is from his hopes of the injoyment of God here and the blessed fruition of him in the beatifical vision hereafter These are the hopes of a person fearing the Lord how infinitely higher than all earthly hopes of what nature soever What are all the hopes in the world laid in ballance with them how much lighter than vanity I will add but one thing more 6. A person not fearing the Lord may be ingaged to the doing of these things from some Law that he hath laid upon himself some Oath or Promise But what are these to the correspondent engagements of this nature which are upon the hearts of all truly fearing the Lord. To say nothing of the Baptismal Engagements common to others with them though better remembred by such as have not received the grace of God in vain or such as they have renewed in their daily prayers in sicknesses or so oft as they have come to the Lords Table What think you of that great engagement to these things amongst others which every one fearing the Lord taketh upon him in the day when the Lord calleth him out of darkness into marvelous light and putteth his Spirit into him There is no obligation like

that he was so troubled he could not speak Psal 77. 4. 2. That the Lord had silenced her Ladiships tongue by his own hand laid upon it in a continual course of afflictions Now though God indeed requires of us the homage of our lips Let me hear thy voice saith Christ to his Spouse Cant. 2. 14. for it is comely And Take unto you words and say saith the Prophet yet he doth not expect this homage where by his providence he dischargeth our tongues of it 3. That there is a praying without the voice which also the Lord heareth Groaning Psa 102. 5. Psal 6. 8. hath a voice Psal 102. 5. and weeping a voice Psal 6. 8. Hezekiah chattered like a Crane yet the Lord heard him In short I besought her Ladiship to consider that the business of prayer was in Scripture expressed by wrestling with God by lifting up the eyes hands heart unto him by pouring out of the soul before him all which might be without the use of words Thus Hannah prayed and was 1 Sam. 1. answered yet spake not a word And I doubted not but her Ladiship thus could and did pray 4. Finally I desired her Ladiship to observe that in Gal. 4. 6. God is said to send his Gal. 4. 6. Spirit into our hearts teaching us to cry Abba Father And Rom. 8. 26. that the Spirit helpeth our infirmities with strong cryes and groans Rom. 8. 26. which could not be uttered Now groans at least are the language of the hearts There is indeed another assistance of the holy Spirit teaching us what to pray for but this floweth not from the Spirit in a way of special grace but as it is the author of spiritual gifts which those might have who had no true interest in God nor had received the Spirit of Christ as a spirit of Sanctification With these and such like considerations I endeavoured to satisfie her Ladiship who yet could hardly be satisfied because she could not pay so full and perfect an homage to God as formerly she had done but her unweariable adversary again reneweth his assault The next news which I heard was this 4 Tempt Sir I have seriously thought upon what you told me and am convinced that though I spake never a word yet if I could keep my heart lifted up to God if I could wrestle with him with my Spirit this were acceptable prayer but whatever you may think I cannot do this When at any time I compose my self to prayer I am tortured with pain that I cannot do it at other times through drewsiness I fall asleep c. By this time her Ladiships tormenting distemperatures prevailed upon her to a great degree so as night and day she had little rest beyond the influence of Anodines stupifying her sense As soon as she had taken these she used to compose her self to secret prayer by and by the operation of the medicine overtook her and inforced sleep when the operation of the Anodine ceased her pains returned and she awoke and then whenever she composed her self to it her pains disturbed her only this she added to her complaint to find out any cause of which for a while posed me That although at first when she composed her self to look up to God she found not much pain yet when she was entered once into her duty she was sure to be racked with the increase of her pain I know that the Devil is but a small friend to our communion with God and would in what he could hinder it I also knew he had a natural power God permitting the exercise of it by which he could disturb bodily humours and divert them to an affected part but not willing to impute it to a praeternatural cause unless quite at loss upon further deliberation I conceived there might be this natural cause of it This good Lady desired when she served the Lord to serve him with her spirit and when she addressed her self to God summoned up all her spirits to do it with the more intention of mind and fervour of spirit Now this I conceived might be a natural cause of the increase of her pain at such a time in regard that her spirits which were wont to serve her body in the supportation of her under her affliction were at this time drawn up to another imployment and the several parts of her body at present left destitute it might give a natural advantage to her infirmity but this was but my particular fancy I told her 1. That short ejaculations were most suitable to her present condition and were heard of God as well as longer prayers for we are not heard for our much speaking 2. I minded her of a speech of Mr. Rutherfords If I were in health I would desire but to cast one long look toward Heaven 3. I told her it was unreasonable for her Ladiship to conclude her self to want the strengthening influences of the holy Spirit because as to this or that act of duty possibly she might not discern such an influence of it It was likely that if her Ladiship examined as to many other duties she might find it and that with an evidence not to be denied 4. I further told her the influence of the spirit was most eminently seen in its workings in strengthening the soul to those exercises of grace which are most proper for our day the present condition and dispensation I meant under which we are and that Faith and Patience were those graces the exercise whereof God more peculiarly requires of his children in a day of affliction and if her Ladiship found the Spirit of God infusing or exerting these habits she need not doubt of the strengthening influences of the Spirit With these things her Lad●ship for a while seemed satisfied but her distempers still increased and during the violence of them put her into a great disorder Satan still followed his game and soon after she tells me 5 Tempt Ah Sir you told me that Faith and Patience are those graces the exercise of which is most proper to my condition and if I found the holy Spirit infusing or strengthening me to the exercise of these habits I might be assured that I was not without the strengthening influences of the Spirit though I did not find such an assistance as I desired to every particular duty But Sir you see I am very impatient restless in my self froward with every body about me I cannot be silent under the hand of God nor keep my self from roaring c. And for Faith S●r you know I have told you I have no assurance sometimes ind●ed I have had what I judged a flash of the light of Gods countenance Once I remember after you had been praying with me and in your prayer mentioned and pleaded many promises it pleased God as I thought to seal some of them to my soul and at some other times that first word which God was pleased to seal unto my