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A66741 Wit and drollery joviall poems / corrected and much amended, with new additions, by Sir J.M. ... Sir W.D. ... and the most refined wits of the age. Phillips, John, 1631-1706.; E. M.; J. M. 1661 (1661) Wing W3132; ESTC R38723 98,574 304

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Then room for the Speaker without his Mace And room for the rest of the Rabble-rout My masters methinks 't is a pittiful case Like the snuff of a Candle thus to go out 12. Now some like this change and some like it not Some think it was not done in due season Some think it ws but a Jesuits plot To blow up the house like a gun-powder-Treason 13. Some think that Oliver and Charles are agree'd And sure it were good policy if it were so Lest the Hollander French the Dane and the Swede Should bring him in whether he would or no. 14. And now I would gladly conclude my song VVith a prayer as Ballads are used to do But yet I 'le forbear for I think er 't be long VVe shall have a King and a Parliament too FINIS These Books following are printed for Nathanael Brook and are to be sold at his Shop at the Angel in Cornhill Excellent Tracts in Divinity Controversies Sermons Devotions 1. THe Catholick History collected and gathered out of Scripture Councils and ancient Fathers in answer to Doctor Vane's Lost sheep returned home by Edward Chesensale Esq in octavo 2. Bishop Morton on the Sacrament in fol. 3. The grand Sacriledge of the Church of Rome in taking away the sacred Cup from the Laity at the Lords-Table by D. Dan. Featly in 4. 4. Quakers cause at second hearing being a full answer to their Tenets 5. Re-assertion of Grace Vindiciae Evangelii or the Vindication of the Gospel a Reply to Mr. Anthony Burges's Vindiciae Legis and to Mr. Rutherford by Robert Towres 6. Anabaptist anatomiz'd and silenced or a Dispute with Mr. Tombs by Mr. I. Cragg where all may receive clear satisfaction A Cabinet Jewel Mans misery Gods mercy in 8. Sermons with an Appendix concerning Tithes with the expediency of marriages in publick assemblies by the same Author Mr. I. Cragg 7. A Glimpse of Divine Light being an explication of some passages exhibited to the Commissioners at White-hall for approbation of publick Preachers against I. Harrison of Land-Chappel Lancashire 8. The Zealous Magistrate a Sermon by T. Threscos quarto 9. New Jerusalem in a Sermon for the Society of Astrologers quarto in the year 1651. 10. Divinity no enemy to Astrology a Sermon for the Society of Astrologers in the year 1643. by Dr. Thomas Swadling 11. Britannia Rediviva a Sermon before the Judges Aug. 1648. by I. Shaw Minister of Hull 12. the Princess Royal in a Sermon before the Judges March 24. by I. Shaw 13. Judgment set and Books opened Religion tryed whether it be of God or man in several Sermons by I. Webster quarto 14. Israels Redemption or the prophetical History of our Saviours Kingdom on Earth by K. Matton 15. The cause and cure of Ignorance Error and Prophaneness or a more hopeful way to grace and salvation by K. Young octavo 16. A Bridle for the Times tending to still the murmuring to settle the wavering to stay the wandring and to strengthen the fainting by I. Brinsley of Yarmounth 17. Comforts against the fear of death wherein are discovered several evidences of the work of grace by I. Collins of Norwich 18. Iacobs seed or the excellency of seeking God by prayer by Ier. Burroughs 19. The summe of Practical Divinity or the grounds of Religion in a Catechistical way by Mr. Christopher Love late Minister of the Gospel an useful piece 20. Heaven Earth shaken a Treatise shewing how Kings and Princes and all other Governments are turned and changed by I. Davis Minister in Dover admirably useful and seriously to be considered in these times 21. The Treasure of the soul wherein we are taught by dying to sin to attain to the perfect love of God 22. A Treatise of Contentation fit for these sad and troublesome times by I. Hall Bishop of Norwich 23. Select Thoughts or choice helps for a pious spirit beholding the excellency of her Lord Jesus by I. Hall Bishop of Norwich 24. The holy Order or Fraternity of Mourn●r in Sion to which is added Songs in the Night or chearfulness under afflictions by I. Hall Bishop of Norwich 25. The Celestial Lamp enlightning every distressed soul from the depth of everlasting darkness by T. Fetiplace 26. The Moderate Baptist in two parts shewing the Scripture-way for the Administring of the Sacrament of Baptism discovering the old errour of Original sin in Babes by W. Brittin 27. Dr. Martin Luther's Treatise of Liberty of Christians an useful Treatise for the stating Controversies so much disputed in these times about this great point 28. The Key of Knowledge a little Book by way of Questions and Answers intended for the use of all degrees of Christians especially for the Saints of Religious families by old Mr. Iohn Iackson that famous Divine 29. The true Evangelical Temper a Treatise modestly and soberly fitted to the present grand concernments of the State and Church by old Mr. Iohn Iackson 30. The Book of Conscience opened and read by the same Author 31. The so much desired and Learned Commentary on the whole 15. Psalm by that Reverend and Eminent Divine Mr. Christopher Cartwright Minister of the Gospel in York to which is affixed a brief account of the Authors Life and Work by R. Bolton 32. The Judges Charge delivered in a Sermon before Mr. Justice Hall Serjeant Crook Judges of Assize at St. Mary Overis in Southwark by R. Parr M. A. Pastor of Camerwell in the County of Surry A Sermon worthy perusal of all such persons as endeavour to be honest and just practitioners in the Law 33. The Saints Tomb-stone being the Life of that Virtuous Gentlewoman Mrs. Dorothy Shaw late Wife of Mr. Iohn Shaw Minister of the Gospel at Kingston upon Hull Admirable and Learned Treatises of Occult Sciences in Philosophy Magick Astrology Geomancy Chymistry Physiognomy and Chiromancy 34. Magick and Astrology vindicated by H. Warren 35. Lux veritatis Judicial Astrology vindicated and Demonology cofuted by W. Ramsey Gent. 36. An Introduction to the Teutonick Philosophy being a determination of the Original of the soul by C. Hotham Fellow of Peter-House in Cambridge 37. Cornelius Agrippa his fourth Book of Occult Philosophy or Geomancy Magical Elements of Peter de Abona the nature of spirits made English by R. Turner 38. Paracelsus Occult Philosophy of the mysteries of Nature and his secret Alchimy 39. An Astrological Discourse with Mathematical Demonstrations proving the influence of the Planets and fixed Stars upon Elementary Bodies by Sir Christ. Heyden Knight 40. Merlinus Anglicus Iunior the English Merlin revived or a Prediction upon the Affairs of Christendom for the year 1644. by W. Lilly 41. Englands Prophetical Merlin foretelling to all Nations of Europe till 1663. the actions depending upon the Influences of the Conjunction of Saturn and Iupiter 1642. by W. Lilly 42. The Starry messenger or an interpretatiof that strange apparition of three Suns seen in London 19. of Nov. 1644. being the Birth-day of K. Charles by W.
Silk Of the dead worm whiter then Milk As I of feeding much do treat So rules I render after meat VVhen thou from a full meal dost rise Scummer and Urine if tho'rt wise Then pipe of right Varinas take For that doth swift digestion make Then seat thy self in a great chair And thing call'd tatling do forbear So shall you fall into sweet nap Shall ease the burthen of your lap That you no sooner shall awake But you another meal may take Or have at least when you do rise Passage for dung between your thighs Another precious rule scarce thought on By no means here must be forgotten All vermine which in bed doth creep From thighs and privy members keep For rhey are creatures break the rest And make men sleep when they should feast Leaving untoucht a wholesome cony Which sweeter is to man then money Take woman fat with a black hair With colour red and skin that 's fair And turn her up and you shall see Such a strong contrariety Of her white thigh and curled black That bordereth about her knack Shall please the skilful eye to see Of hues such rare variety For there is black and blew and white Ordained for young mans delight I could speak more in praise of these Strong harbours for fat crabs and fleas But I must turn and wind my story To those by feeding gain their glory And now should I all wild fowle name That adde to lusty manchers frame I dazle should the readers eye To view the name of fowle that fly I will not write of Hern or Bittern VVhose claw transcends goose-quill or sittern Nor of the partridge nor the pheasant Meat scarcely known to chops of peasant Nor of the woodcock nor the widgeon Nor the often billing pigeon Nor of the lark nor the cock-sparrow Whose mettle melts away his marrow I shall want room to write of fish Which often is the fat mans dish Of which the sturgeon and the oyster That moveth holy Nun in Cloyster And maketh ofttimes aged Fryar A little of that same desire Oysters are of strong operation Known to both Sexes of our Nation They 're fishes of such rare perfection That they in flesh make an erection And give to mouths want teeth such strength That they 'le devour a whole yards length Such is keen appetite of nick Although it be a handfull thick I must not dwell on watry theame For fear I 'm thought too full of phlegme But now I something have to say Of food that helps natures decay Of which the food springs from the earth Sutes best to those of humane birth In Indies Eastern occident There 's fruits that give the taste content Some that have travelled speak of Planton It makes men lusty women wonton But I believe our English skerrit To man or woman adds more spirit But this is clearly my opinion There breeds more sperme of leek and onion Some windy roots we have that swell The belly much helps nere a dell To procreation but they We mean to cast out of our way Of which the turnip and the carot Will make some speak like Jay or Parrot It was the judgement of wi●e Cato That Parsnip did transcend Potato He swears that Parsnip more doth merit Then the aringo or the skerit And yet the aringo we do see Our Ladies much perpetually Which out of fellow-feeling they Do to resist and to obey Iohannes de temporibus Who liv'd as long as three of us His dyet much was on the Parsnip And he did love to give white arsnip In commendations of that root Said it made him ofttimes go tot A modern writer to the glory Of this brave root tells this true story Which if our Ladyes will not eat Will serve to do another feat The story was of a swart Spanyard Who seldom had a pendent whinyard But every night did claper-claw His wife that she was almost raw She was so sore and full of pain That she was forced to complain The learned Judges of the Land Desir'd to take each thing in hand But when the Judges understood The matter was of flesh and bloud They for the learned Doctors call Who straight appear'd in place call'd Hall Woman that brought her husband thither And was sore in mouth call'd nether Did blush to see the man in gown Fearing the tale would through the town Which shortly afterwards it did For which the woman oft was chid The Doctors gravely and in quiet Ask't him of his usual dyet He told them Parsnips was the meat VVhich he most usually did eat By which conjectur'd 't is by all No root is more spermatical But now to ease his sore wives pain A month these roots he must refrain VVhich willingly my stout Don did And changing food lay still in bed But she before the month had end Presented Parsnips to her friend And then he fell to wonted work As feirce as a broad shouldred Turk Since Parsnips such a batning thing That makes both man and woman cling And stick as fast to one another As glued boards why then plump brother Eschew not this so lusty food Which both for flesh and pleasures good Some slight the valour of the fat And say they 're good for nought but chat But I a story will unfold Shall speak them hardy stout and bold Fat mortal into market comes And spyed fat Eeles would oyle his gumms Then straight he hath a longing wish To have those fat Eeles in his dish So to the greesie wife that sold 'um And on her short fat knees did hold 'um He askt the price with greedy sense She gripple wench said Eighteen pence He in derision offered three So quarrel 'tween them grew to be The peremptory Jade did rail Her words did bruise like blows of flail But Pothecary having mettle Removed her arse from off the settle And made the whore that sold the Eele The wait of hand on bare arse feel For he in market call'd Cheapside Smote her blind face sans nose mouth-wide Belong'd to those unwashed cheeks Where gardner might have planted leeks But one thing more vexs Pothecary To see the Fish-wives arse so hairy But having thus his business done Set down the scold away did run She to revenge this foul disgrace Runs scolding after him apace Poor man afrighted with the din Beshit himself for fear of quean The lane was narrow where he went He stunck like alderman in tent The jade which seldom us'd to smell But what from her own bunghole fell Left off the chace it was so strong And so returned with the wrong And so I leave her to the scorn Of those at Bilingsgate duckt each morn This for Land-service which doth show Fat men their teeth for valour owe. Now for their sea of which I 'le speak What shall not shew their valour weak As horses in storm a ship doth poise By his resisting waves that rise Let no fond man the truth deride For horse doth make to th' rising