her weakness by Asthma and Feaver increasing and prevailing upon her she had some Disturbance by Temptations from Satan that grand Adversary of Souls to question her right to Happiness c. and whether God would accept so vile a Wretch Yet blessed be the Lord through Faith and Prayer and the never-failing Mercies of a Good God she got over all baffled Satan and was filled with unspeakable Joy in the Holy Ghost The Doctor prayed with her and afterward she her self prayed a considerable time distinctly and aloud and for her then Comfort and Support many Passages of Sermons she had heard especially some from Mr. Coates on that Text Come unto me all ye that labour c. came fresh in her Memory which the Lord helped her to improve to the great Comfort and Refreshment of her Soul She was now full of Heavenly Thoughts and from the abundance of her Heart her Mouth was now speaking c. She uttered nothing but what was savoury religious and serious and being spent by great Weakness went triumphantly to Heaven upon the 29th of May 1686. The Doctor told me it was the comfortablest Night that ever he enjoyed in all his Life Here at Leicester worthy Mr. Clarke the Nonconformist waited my coming that he might accompany me to Ollercarr which he did and the Lord made him mighty useful by his Christian advice to me June 3. I got home where I found a most sad and disconsolate Family I that needed others to comfort me was fain to be their Comforter June 5 1686. This Day my Diary manifests that I was grown more calm under the Lord 's mighty Hand and the loss of a Dearest Wife but yet too full of miserable Complaints and quarrelling Thoughts against my Maker the Lord forgive me and compose me for the Duties of the Sabbath following June 6. This Day was a very comfortable Sabbath with reference to my Enjoyments but the want of my Dear Wife occasioned Floods of Tears and violent Passions the Lord pardon my tumultuous Thoughts and in the Multitude of my Thoughts within me let his Comforts more refresh my Spirit June 7. This Day my Dear Wife was Interr'd at Crich where if the Lord please so to order it I desire and intend to lie by her the Lord pardon Sins while I had her and such as I have been most guilty of since I parted with her June 8. This Day through Mercy not much quarrelling with the Lord's Dispensations more calm than I was O that I could be dumb with Silence and not open my Mouth in a fretting and repining way because the Lord has done what 's done unto me the Lord sanctify this sad Breach upon me to my Soul's Good May I remember my Sins that have provoked God and be humbled for them and return to the Lord that smiteth June 9. This Day I find my Heart better fitted and framed to bear this sad Stroke This Day was preach'd by Mr. Coats my Dear Wife's Funeral-Sermon from these words 1 Thess 4. 13. But I would not have you to be ignorant Brethren concerning them which are asleep that ye sorrow not even as others which have no hope Passion in the Sermon I was guilty of when in the Commondatory Part he was shewing what a Wife she was the Lord pardon my unbecoming Carriage to her Several days after I gave account of the Lord 's quieting my Mind under the sad Loss sustain'd June 20. This was a very comfortable Sabbath and the Lord gave me great Delight under the Droppings of the Sanctuary Mr. Coats preach'd from these words Hear the Rod and who hath appointed it O! I would fain make application to my self O that I could hear the Voice of this sad Providence and take out the Lessons of this Rod O that I may carry my self like a Christian under this mighty Hand of God! I have cause to fear I did not improve Last-Summer's Mercies as I ought and God has made this a much more uncomfortable Summer O that as ever I desire the Lord should not go on in this way I may better improve this Dispensation Several Letters I receiv'd from Friends heartily sympathizing with me in my Trouble take the Copies of some of them as follows A Letter from Mr. J. R. dated June 4 1686. Dear Sir BY a Letter I received Yesterday from Mr. Coats I perceive the Letters I sent you in Town on Monday Night were like Job's Messengers one bringing you sad the other sadder News but I hope you receiv'd the News with Job's Temper or mind viz. The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the Name of the Lord and God hath taken away the Delight of your Eyes and removed her out of sight she is in a state of Rest and you must behold her no more among the Inhabitants of the World this must needs be a pressing Affliction to lose so near so dear and so pious a Companion and that which aggravates the Affliction is that she was taken away in your Absence so suddenly and so unexpectedly But Dear Sir though God has crost your Will herein yet I hope a Tumult doth not arise your Passions and Affections are not in an uproar Why shall not God take away his own in his own time way and manner But Sir I am not to teach you God has rarely qualified you with the Graces of his Holy Spirit so that you know how to receive and how to resign a Mercy you know how to add to Faith Patience as you lately heard There is an animal Life of a Soul void of Grace accommodating it self to the Interests of the Flesh to all such things as are grateful to Sense but then there is a Spiritual Life which is a Principle enabling a Soul to bear up when God takes away our greatest Comforts such a Principle there is in you All I have to do is to sympathize with you and to pray that God would afford you more of the Assistances of his Holy Spirit that you may exert that Principle now at this time under this Loss The truth is 't is one of the most lovely Sights in the World to see a Christian acting Faith Patience Humility Submission Resignation c. in times of Affliction this makes the World say that there is something more in Religion than Talk but as I said I am not to teach you You have the teachings of the Spirit which will enable you to improve this Loss to better Gains The Lord sit us all for our last and great Change and in the midst of our private Losses let 's remember the Afflictions of Sion now sitting in the Dust So prays Your Sympathizing Friend and Humble Servant J. R. I hope you will return up again after some Days I think it will be convenient to divert your self with your Friends here some time after you have performed the last Office of Love to your Yoak-Fellow c. A Copy of a Letter from Cos M. S. dated
being so But here let me stop a while to admire the transcendent Goodness of my Heavenly Father to me a most vile Wretch That he should do more for me than others who I think had done less for him and more against him than most others What such a Brand as I snatch'd out of the Fire Such a wandring Prodigal brought home to God! O my Soul stand and wonder What so hard a Heart as mine softned So proud a Heart as mine humbled So obstinate a Will as mine subdued O amazing Goodness This is the Lord 's doing and must always 〈◊〉 marvellous in mine Eyes Though alas alas whilst I am here in the Body I must say with the Apostle Paul I find a Law in my Members warring and rebelling against the Law of my Mind that when I would do Good Evil is too often present with me So that the Things I would not do I do Corruption I find too much stirring and even â—…ainting the best I do for God Yet through Grace I have these present Grounds to hope for Salvation God in infinite Mercy has made me sensible not only of my great Sins but of the â—ileness of my Heart and Nature he has made me to abhor my self for my Sins and I hope truly to repent of them For I do find that what was before the delight of my Soul is now become as bad as Hell to me That God has brought me so far off from mine own bottom as to convince me that all my Prayers and Tears and Duties are not able to save me A Christ alone I must have have thrown my self at his Foot for Mercy resolving if I must perish I 'le perish there I love him above all and can I hope through Divine Assistance part with all for his Sake About the Year 1670 I was by many Friends recommended to several good Matches but particularly by that Reverend and Worthy Minister of Jesus Christ my Cousin Sylvester who providentially I met with at my Brother Hatfield's who there acquainted me that he had it long and much upon his Thoughts to recommend a Person to me he believed would make me a good Wife That he knew her to be a Person of great Worth and the only unmarried Daughter of Mr. Spateman He encouraged me very much that though I should not proceed in that Affair yet the Acquaintance of so good a Family would sufficiently recompense my Pains and Journey After some mature Consideration I returned him Thanks and embraced the Motion and soon after went to that House where though I was then a perfect Stranger yet through the very great Freedom and Kindness of the good old Gentleman I soon became acquainted was received with much Candour and entertained with a hearty Welcome So soon as his Daughter came down which was about 6 a Clock to Family-Prayers he put us I remember both to the Blush by telling her here was one Mr. Disney come as recommended to her for a Sweet-heart After some short time I had encouragement to proceed in the Affair was much pleased with the Family and with the Report I had of the Person to whom I was to make my Addresses Providence seemed to smile upon the Transaction our Parents after some Debate came to an Agreement as to Terms So that when we had sought God solemnly upon a Day that I desired we might keep for that purpose by Mr. Porter and Mr. Otefield we came to a Conclusion And that happy Union betwixt my Dear Wife Mrs. Rebecca Spateman and my self was made the 29th of June 1671 being Thursday We were married by Mr. Nixon of Morton at Trinity-Chappel And here methinks I cannot but take notice to the Honour of God what a Wife he was pleased to lend me God has made her to me the greatest outward Blessing and Comfort that ever I had to the time of her Death The usual Properties of a good Wife are such as these Piety Prudence Love Faithfulness Chastity Housewifery Frugality Self-Denial Meekness Patience Subjection Simpathy and Helpfulness I do not know any in the World that can â—oust of a Wife exactly thus qualified but do believe most of them to be in mine a valuable Portion indeed to this time when we have been married 14 years I have found her first and last She is a truly good Woman yet but a Woman and therefore subject to humane Frailties her Spirit was somewhat too high and my Humour a great deal too proud and this occasion'd too often Jarrings betwixt us but through Grace we have both seen the ill Consequences of such strife and the Lord has made us more useful and less provoking one to another It was then considered where we should make our setled abode Roadenooke Friends were desirous we would either be there or near them when at the same time my Father and Mother Disney desired we would be with them at Lincoln and several Reasons of weight were urged on both sides which put us into a great Strait and Labyriâ—th being desirous as near as we could to please them all and not disoblige any So that this Medium was by me propos'd and as readily approv'd of to fix some-where between our Friends and the Place concluded on was Nottingham where though I was a perfect Stranger to the Town and knew not one Person in it yet after seeking of God in the Matter we were wonderfully induced to take a Settlement in that Place And now being resolv'd and that with the Approbation of our Friends upon a Removal thither we concluded Tabling would best comport with our Circumstances at that time We soon then enquired and found out by the help of Mr. Reyner a Religious Family to table in viz. Mrs. Gamble's in Bridlesmith-Gate whither we came the 24th of September 1672. And I must say it was a good Providence that brought me thither not only upon on the account of a good Land-lady we tabled with and the good Society we had with worthy Mr. Secker and his Wife who were Tablers there at the same time but especially upon account of the good Acquaintance I there presently got and the comfortable Opportunities for our Souls we there enjoy'd The Reasons inclining us to Nottingham were such as follow 1. The very good Society there to be had and the comfortable Ordinances there to be enjoy'd not only on Sabbath-Days but Week-Days too Mr. Whitlock Mr. Reynolds and Mr. Barrett being the Ministers of that Society there that I and my dear Wife entred our selves unworthy Members of blessed be God for that they carried on the Work for the most part on Lord's-Days and every Wednesday there was a Lecture carried on by all or most of the Non-conforming Ministers there-abouts in the Counties round they taking their turns in that Work And O what cause have I to bless God to eternity for the comfortable Enjoyments of that Place there I think my Heart was more carried out after God in an Ordinance
have no Worldly Affair unsetled to disturb and distract my Mind withal when upon the very Confines of another World and lying upon a Sick-Bed or Death-Bed when I desire God may have all my Thoughts and all my Time and would fain be most serious and intent upon Soul-Concerns This little Treatise in three Parts containing the most remarkable Passages of my Life that occurr'd to Memory and collected out of my Diary written in Short-hand as a last Legacy I heartily commend to thy perusal and other Friends that survive me In it I have endeavoured impartially to God's Glory to give the darker Side of a vile Wretch on Earth as well as the brighter I was long thou seest a Wanderer from God and in a most bewildred Condition on that account I knew not where to rest till I anchor'd on the Rock of Ages had no true Peace till through Mercy I clos'd with Christ the Prince of Peace Conscience then often spoke when it was not heard and flew in my Face when my Study too much was to check stifle and hush it I was then a Terror to my self and perhaps to others about me especially observing Christian Friends who fain would but then could not prevail with me to be serious strict and good I was too long God knows in the Gall of Bitterness and in the Bonds of Iniquity and O what rich Mercy was it I was not then taken from Earth and thrown into Hell that through Grace I did out-live the Years of a loose carnal freshly and unregenerate State O my Dear I cannot express the Sorrows the Terrors the Heart-break and Trouble that my youthful Follies cost me in Riper-years My Closet was witness to something and my God to more but alas all too little if Free-Grace save me not I must yet perish but of this I nothing doubt through the Merits and Mediation of my blessed Redeemer to whom I hope in Heaven to Eternity to give the Glory of what he has been pleased to give me the comfort of The Lord has fully convinc'd me that all my Prayers and Tears my Searchings and Watchings can nothing avail me without Christ God shew'd me my lost and undone Condition before I had thought of enquiring what I must do to be sav'd or of looking out after a Saviour And this through Mercy I can say that I could never have truly a quiet Minute till I was most sweetly perswaded and powerfully enabled to close with Christ as offered in the Gospel O Rich-Grace Free-Grace And now Dear-heart let me invite thee into the Embraces of blessed Jesus Come taste and try how good God is to returning Sinners I believe thou hast Well be more and more in love with Christ enter into Covenant with God and frequently renew thy Covenant-Engagements and labour to perform Covenant-Promises never think thou can'st do enough for that God thou expectest so much from nay indeed thy all that can either make thee happy here or to Eternity Some few Heads of Advice out of tender Love both to thy Soul and Body I leave with thee 1. SEttle thy Temporal Affairs and Wordly Concerns betimes that upon a Death-bed thou maist not be distracted and diverted with them from higher and more besitting Employment I delay'd making my Will too long which was no small Perplexity to my Mind till the Year 1685 when I did it 2. If thou can'st think me worthy thy Remembrance forget not shewing some Kindness to such Relations and Friends of mine who I need not name being known to thee who are Objects of Pity and need thy Charity 3. If thou do'st not incline to a Settlement in Nottingham in the House I leave thee for thy Life then be with or as near as may be some of thy Religious Friends such as may be Helpers and Promoters not Hinderers of thy eternal Welfare 4. If the Lord should again incline thee to marry dare not to join thy self in that Relation to any that is not join'd to the Lord marry one I say who in the judgment of the best of Friends as well as thine own which may in such a case deceive thee do's truly fear God nay I would advise thee to marry one of a healthful strong and sound Constitution by whom if the Lord please thou may'st have the Blessing of Children for I have reason to suppose that some Weaknesses and Infirmities whilst a Child and Young might render me less capable in that respect 5. If thou shouldest have Children train them up in the fear of the Lord help to fill Heaven with thy Off-spring 6. Having marry'd own thy Husband as thy Head submit to the Duties of a Wife for the Lord's Sake labour and pray for a meek and quiet frame of Spirit which is in the sight of the Lord of great price 7. Have some eye over and inspection into the Behaviour and Conversations of those I were some-time intrusted as Guardian for Jog and quicken Loyterers Heaven-wards mind them of their Education Counsels and Instructions and how hopeful their Beginnings were and especially regard our Child and dear Niece Brain 8. Be much in Reading and Studying good Books these I commend to thee especially viz. The Holy Bible with Pool's Annotations Swinnock's One Cast for Eternity Barrett's Christian Temper Heywood's Heart-Treasure Reyner's Precepts Dunton's Heavenly Pastime Case's God's waiting to be gracious Flavel's Fountain of Life Bolton's Tost Ship R. Allen's Rebuke to Back-sliders Janeway's Heaven upon Earth Swinnock's Regeneration Love on Heaven's Glory c. Flavel's Saint indeed Steel of Vprightness Calamy's Godly Man's Ark Hooker's doubting Soul c. Hardcastle's Christian Geography Watson on Contentment Mede's almost Christian Doolittle on the Sacrament His Call to delaying Sinners most of Bunyan's Works very useful if read without Prejudice These Books amongst others I have had much Refreshment from and heartily commend them to thee 9. Do all thou dost either in Religious or Civil Actions with an eye at Eternity thus pray and hear and read and meditate and converse and engage in all secular Affairs and discharge all relative Duties with an eye at Eternity and this will help to make thee very serious and strict 10. Spend thy Week-days well in the discharge of Duties publick and private keep an exact Diary of any sinful Miscarriages and be humbled every Evening for them take notice of God's Mercies every day and labour to have thy Heart sutably affected with the Lord's Goodness observe and pen down God's Dealings with thee and thy Carriage and Behaviour towards God this the Lord has enabled me to practise with good Success 11. Esteem of Sabhath-Days as the best of Days these are the Market-Days of thy Soul make good Provision on them for it hear the Word meditate on it digest and practise it neglect no Duties of the Day in private but most highly value Publick-Assemblies God being by them most honoured 12. Redeem Time I can from my own Experience tell thee a Review in
me I am out of Hell I am out of a Prison I am not as lately flying before pursuing Enemies nor absenting my self for Security from my own House I am not made a Prey to Enemies but the Lord has dealt bountifully with me What shall I render unto the Lord Some following Days after I took notice of sinful Thoughts idle Words unbecoming Actions and of the Lord's Goodness in sparing Mercy Nov. 7. 1685. I bless God then for returning me in Safety from my Yorkshire Journey and that I saw my Friends with Comfort and found all well at my return home then I petitioned the Lord to continue Enjoyments to me and mine 8th This God made a comfortable Sabbath Mr. Coats preached excellently from this Text Remember now thy Creator c. the Lord do me and all that heard him good by his blessing upon that Ordinance and pardon Sin the Morning as soon as I awakened I was full of projecting carnal melancholy Thoughts O sad Thoughts for a Sabbath-Day God seal a Pardon to me 10th This Evening being Tuesday by 7 of the Clock I set apart some Hours for Humiliation that Night with the help of Mr. B. Mr. C. c. and about half an hour after 12 a Clock I ended in that Work in my Closet the Sins I bewailed particularly was my not keeping Covenant and Promise with my God Passion with my Wife Pride Slightness in Duties especially Closet-Duties c. 15th I enjoy'd a most comfortable Sabbath by Mr. Coats's Help who preach'd from these words Remember now thy Creator c. and this Passage I took particular notice of That where Youth has been devoted to God reviews of it in old Age when Persons are less capacitated for Duty-Frames will afford sweet Comfort and Refreshing 22d This a comfortable Sabbath God bless it to me Mr. Cl. preach'd from these words Ps 67. That God even our own God shall bless us The Doct. was It 's a most desirable thing for People to have a God of their own These Marks he laid down which I desire often to peruse and examine my self by by which I may know whether God be my God or no. 1. If I have a God of my own I get what Knowledg I can of my God 2. I get what Love I can to my God 3. I would be loth to do that which this my God may take ill 4. I would then serve no God but my own God and never fall down to Graven-Images 5. I would take nothing ill from my own God 6. I would love to think of him 7. I would love to be speaking of him 8. I could love to have my own God well spoken of 9. I would often send to him and hear from him 10. I desire nothing more than while i 'm absent from him that this God would visit me by his Spirit 11. I would not live always here but die to go to this my own God and to be with him for ever And these are the earnest Requests of my Soul Several Days together I find a comfortable Account both as to freedom from Sins and great Mercies But on the 28th I find Relapses into Sin and that which aggravates it much is I was just writing the Account of my Life And O what a Mercy it is God has given me not only space for but the Grace of Repentence Decemb. 12. Hitherto much the like Account the Lord has preserved my Liberty beyond expectation and prevented my entring into ensnaring Bonds 14th I took notice of Mercy shew'd my Wife in delivering her from most acute Pains in the Tooth-Acâ— Jan. 2. â—â—8â— I this Day returned from a great Journey in which the Lord wonderfully succeded me in all my Affairs and preserv'd me from all Dangeâ—… I experienc'd Mercy in the kind Reception the D. of N. gave me on Monday to his House whither I went to return him Thanks for his Civility to me He told me I came to him on a very proper Day being Innocents-Day for that he believed I was so in the Matters laid to my charge and that he had now done with me and should as Opportunity offer'd readily serve me in any thing He desired me to be kind to my Uncle L who had taken great pains on my behalf I gave him thereupon over and above other Kindness before Here 's now a return to Prayer God help me to improve so great Mercy Passages a little before the Death of my Dear Wife and about her Sickness and Death May 13 1686. I met with Stops as to my London Journey by Business and my Dear Wife's Illness for this very Day in the Morning she was ev'n spent with a Conghing-Fit I was called from Prayer in my Family found her very Ill but blessed be God soon grew better and told me I bless God I am now pretty well Now I was earnest with the Lord that he would enable me to observe the Hints of Providence in my being stopt several times and my way to London as it were hedged up May 17 1686. I set forward for London notwithstanding the Cross Providences I met with a great Change in the Weather divers times a Cold that I had upon me a grievous Fit of the Asthma my dear Wife had insomuch as I plainly observ'd Providence against me as to that Journey at that time but notwithstanding upon Encouragement from my Wife that if I must needs go this Summer which she rather desired I would not because of Souldiers being much upon the Road going to the Camp I had as good go now as any other time I did set forward and part with my dear Wife this Day but never saw her more The Lord knows my Carriage at London was too light and vain I wonder'd I heard nothing from Ollercarr waited a Fortnight for Letters and did my self write several but through their miscarriage and as the Lord pleased to order it I received four all of a day most of which brought me the sad Tidings of my dear Wife's Death which was aggravated greatly in that I had not heard of her Illness till I heard of her Death and all came in Letters to me at London at which time I had one under my Wife's Hand to acquaint me with her late Illness but that blessed be God she was better an Account of which here follows after I have given first an Account of mine just sending to the Post directed to her at that very instant when I received this that follows A Copy of my Letter the Last I ever writ or must write to my Dear Wife now I trust with God My Dearest I Am in great expectation of Nanny's coming up to London according to the Desire of my last which Business now only stays me in Town Thou canst not imagine how much I am concerned at thy silence or at least thy Letters Miscarriage I having not received one Letter from thee since I left thee this being I think the fourth that I have
Wages it cannot be for your Bible tells you What you sow that shall you reap and he that cannot lie hath said If you live after the Flesh you shall die but if you through the Spirit do mortify the Deeds of the Body ye shall live I am not for inviting you to a Party or for tying up Salvation to this or that Opinion but I would fain prevail with you to be good for be of what Opinion you will the Scripture warrants me to tell you That without Strictness Self-denial and Holiness you cannot be saved Mat. 16. 42. Mat. 11. 12. 1 Pet. 1. 15 16. Dear Sir as you tender the everlasting Welfare of your Soul do no longer as the most but imitate the best and endeavour to be a Follower of those who through Faith and Patience inherit the Promises or things promised Forsake bad Company for you know who has said The Companion of Fools shall be destroyed Prov. 13. 20. Be you a Companion of those that fear God and let not the Wicked any longer intice you or however prevail with you for the Scripture is very clear and positive in it That except Drunkards repent and reform they shall be shut out of the Kingdom of Heaven 1 Cor. 6. 9 10. That except Swearers repent of their prophane Swearing and reform they shall fall into Condemnation James 5. 12. That unless Liars put away their Lying and speak every one Truth to his Neighbour they shall have their part in the Lake that burns with Fire and Brimstone Rev. 20. 8. That if Company-keepers forsake not the Foolish that is the Wicked and live they shall be reckoned amongst the Companions of the Wicked who shall be destroyed Prov. 13. 20. I charge you not but leave it to your own Conscience to consider how far you are guilty in any of these Matters and then get into your Closet down upon your Knees bewail before God your sinful Miscarriages and beg a new Heart and Grace that you may live a new Life and be assured that what I say is out of a sense of your deplorable Condition whilst you remain in your Sins and a Desire to see you return to that God who waits to be gracious Come to Christ and heartily accept him for he is offered to you O that I could see this great Work done what a rejoycing would it be to all that are good about you Then might your Wife bless God for such a Husband who would help her Heavenwards then would your pious Relations delight in your Society and your Parents with joy say as the Father of the Prodigal This my Son was lost but is found was dead but is alive yea the Conversion of a Sinner on Earth causes Joy in Heaven That the Lord would bless this Advice to you is the earnest Prayers of him who shall then approve himself always Your Friend and Servant in Christ Jesus G. D. A Letter to my Mother Mrs. B. D. upon the Death of her good Daughter and my dear Sister Stanyforth Ever honoured Mother AT this time I have much Business upon my hands and some that requires quick dispatch otherwise my coming to see you would have prevented my writing to you and now I should be sorry that these Lines should add weight to your Sorrows by setting your Wounds a bleeding afresh I am much readier to bear a part of your Burthen having reason enough to be concern'd for and sensible of so sad a Breach as it has pleas'd the Lord to make upon us by the Death of my dear Sister Stanyforth Something I would contribute to your Support and Refreshment under such a Dispensation therefore desire your perusal of the under-written Considerations which has wonderfully supported me the Blessing of Heaven render them useful to you 1. We may and ought to consider the necessity of Dying 2 Sam. 14. 14. For we must needs die Preceding Generations made way for us and shall not we make way for others when God calls 2. The Friends we lose are not so much ours as God's God has taken but what he first lent This comforted Job when amongst other things he had lost his Children The Lord gave saith he and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the Name of the Lord. 3. God has a hand in the Death of Friends My Times are in thy Hand says holy David and is there not an appointed time to be upon Earth 4. God in the saddest Passages of Providence aims at his People's Good All things shall work together for them that love God c. 5. God is still with us Psal 46. 1. Though Friends forsake us through unavoidable Mortality yet an everlasting God is where he was There is Sweetness enough in God to sweeten all outward imbittering Circumstances Though the Conduit-Pipes thrô which Mercies were convey'd unto us be taken away the Fountain runs still entire in God May we have a care of doing any thing to dim the Eye of our Faith for Hagar we read had a Fountain by but her blubbering Eyes kept her from beholding it 6. How great soever the Stroke and Affliction is we yet deserve greater our Sins are heavier than our Sufferings the Fire of God's Wrath is not proportion'd to the Fewel of our Sins 7. God has taken away one great Comfort but he might have taken away all Shall we receive Good at the Hands of God and shall we not receive Evil 8. Consider the Evil that comes by Discontent and immoderate Sorrow Discontent makes us our own Tormentors Luk. 21. In Patience possess your Souls by Impatience we are Possessors of our Sins and turn'd out of our Understandings Peace and Comfort Too immoderate Sorrow wastes the Spirits Prov. 15. By Sorrow of the Heart the Spirit is broken 2 Cor. 7. Worldly Sorrow worketh Death it greatly provokes God A meek and quiet Spirit is in the Sight of God of great price but a froward peevish Spirit is abominable to him Prov. 11. 20. 17. 20. 22. 5. Psal 18. 26. God may be provoked by this Sin to lengthen out Misery and to adjourn Mercy 9. God gives and takes away Relations at his own Pleasure let us rather praise God we have enjoy'd such a Blessing so long than repine she is gone so soon bless we a smiting as well as a smiling God a taking as well as a giving God 10. The Breach made is sad but herein God has 1. Done us no Wrong 2. He has done our dear Friend no Hurt Done us no Wrong he has taken but his own his own by his Creation by your Donation by Purchase and Redemption and by her own free Resignation And has our dear Father hurt her Is it to hurt her to put her to Bed to throw off her filthy Garments from her to gratify her in her own longing Desire which was To be dissolv'd and to be with Christ and to enshrine her in Glory 11. Think of the Invalidity of Weeping If Tears could possibly bring my