twenty five dayes most of which time I had the company of these apparitions according as I was moved to desire them by that Spirit which was in me for when I was moved by that Spirit to desire them they would come and when that mov'd me to require their departure they would depart and constantly when they came they brought with them excellent Musicks which alwayes kept over my head and followed me according as I moved the apparitions making merry amongst themselves dancing leaping and flying about the room according to the musicks of those Spirits which continually plaid over my head I shall now declare some things that were acted by my orderly subjection to the teachings of this Spirit in me and those apparitions in the time of these twenty five dayes There was not a day or night but many strange actions were performed but I shall speak of some few by which may be judged what the rest were The second or third night I was commanded by that Being in me to stay up all night so about mid-night five of these apparitions with those Spirits which made such pleasant melody came as I was waiting for revelations one of which Spirits as they were flying about the room came and overshadowed my face as though a vail and spake to me telling me in my ear That three of the seven plagues had been poured forth upon me and because of my diligent obedience in all things required by the Spirit in me two were not and the other two were yet to come and that after my resurrection from the dead I should make choice of twelve that were chiefest Speakers amongst us to be my Apostles so parting from me they went all to dancing About an hour after as I was standing before the fire I heard somthing that made a noise upon which I heard a voice speak in me saying Babylon is fallen Babylon is fallen which was significant to my understanding that all in me which formerly reign'd was thrown down being dashed in pieces by the coming of Christ and turning round I saw that the fire being much burned fell down then being weary of standing having not sate that night I went to sit down going to sit I was commanded by one of these Spirts that I should stand for God was then present in the room Whereupon after about an hours standing looking for a revelation I was over-shadowed as before like as with a vail and commanded from a voice immediately to pull off my shoes off my Feet for the place where I stood was holy ground and as God appeared to Moses in the Bush so God appeared now unto me in this revelation giving me to understand That the appearance of God unto Moses was a figure of this appearance unto me Whereupon I pulled off my shooes and being struck with an exceeding fear much trembling I pulled off my hat also and laid it down at which time I was sensible of very much cold it being an exceeding cold night so immediately there came an extream warmth all over the room and thence it seised upon my Feet and with a tingling heat it raised it self upwards till over my Legs and there rested a little time infusing a heat into my legs then did it arise by degrees little and little until at last my whole Body was encompassed with warmth as though a great heat had been infused in me by a violent compulsion All which time I trembled exceedingly but durst not move from that place I stood in Also the tunes of the Spirits were changed into a great singing or hissing much like to the noise of thousands of Bees and the apparitions danced so a voice spake calling me by my name telling me That I was John the beloved of himself as Iohn was the beloved of Christ and he that Iohn was a figure of me So after some time spent I could not contain but speak of my own accord these words Ye are the Angels of the living God concluding with the owning of what was by them revealed But in the speaking of these Words I stammered out of fear upon which there flew one of these apparitions by me and told me That I had blasphemed What the cause was I could not tell but I supposed it to be because I spake these words in my own will before I had a true moving from that Being in me for I believed that in doing of any deed or speaking of any word that stood in my own will I did blaspheme judging That what spake moved or acted in man that had not a patient working with a joynt concurrence of the whole man was wrought in the will and so imperfect a blast which perisheth in its act and so eternally not to be witnessed by which the whole man is defiled Upon which all the Spirits and the pleasant noise vanished away and were not also the warmth infused in me and encompassed about me was taken away in the same nature as it came Then was I struck with a great fear not knowing what this meant upon which as my manner was when committing of any offence as I was moved by the Spirit in me I lay down upon the ground with my face close to the floor which was believed to be the greatest humility I could express and after a short time of my wallowing and tumbling upon the ground I was moved by that Spirit in me to lie still on my belly with my face flat on the ground which being done immediately came the like warmth on the floor under me as before and from thence arose a great steam which encompassed me over and then seised upon me as before infusing a heat through my whole body then was I by that Spirit in me moved to rise up but supposing it was not a true motion I did not obey upon which came all those apparitions which were without and with them those Spirits which made such excellent melody Then did that power in me move me to stand up as before upon vvhich I fell a vveeping and much love vvrought upon me to remain longer in that place of Humility judging my self as unworthy of that Union and Love with God which before I was a partaker of then came one of those Apparitions to me who gave me to understand that all what I was having been offered as a Pledge according to the Will of the Pure in me had wrought in God that affection which formerly he had towards me upon vvhich I vvas raised upon my Feet by the povver of that Spirit in me my Hands my Feet and Body moved and acted in their Order vvithout the least motion or consent of motion by me then vvas I highly elevated in my Spirit and commanded by a voice in me to Dance vvith those Apparitions vvhich I did the remaining part of that night and by the povver of that Spirit in me yielding my subjection vvas I tossed to and fro and mounted up and dovvn in the observation of those
a yard off the Ground which being done I was directed to turn my Back to the Wall and spread my Hands one upon the other with the Needle remaining in my Thumbs so wide that I could and so lift my Arms over my Head and then to strain my Arms and Body as high as possible I could with the Backs of my Hands joyned to the Wall All which being done I was to liken a Death upon the Cross so I gave way to a Drouziness as though I was a dying and by and by I fell down upon the Ground as though dead But before I lay as in the Grave I was moved to spread over me Shavings of white Paper that lay by on the Floor by which was meant the Covering of me with white Sheets then to tye a Handkerchief about my Head so in regard of my speed and not heeding but making as though I were dead in the tying of my Handkerchief I tore much of my Hair off This being done I lay upon my Back minding nothing like as in a sleep and having lain there about three quarters of an hour in imitation of three dayes the time of Christs being in the Grave I was immediately by the power of that Spirit in me raised on my Feet and Commanded with all the speed that possibly I could to make to that place where the Ministers that were of us with divers more were and give them knowledge of what was done and then to make choice of some of them to be my Apostles and so speedily to go abroad into all the world and Preach the Gospel So I took my Cloak and ran forth in expectation to flie by the power of Michael the Archangel which was believed to be then in me according as before was promised but being then disappointed of Ability to flie I was much troubled upon which there came a special command that I should pull off my Shoes which I did instantly and turning my Cloak under my Arm I threw my Shoes in my Cloak and so made away with all the might I could and verily I am perswaded were I now to run for a Kingdom I could not make two thirds of that speed I did then Now the House being in Moor-fields and the path-way to the House being of a little compass I was caused to leap over the Railes and also run over much Linen that lay Whiting upon the Grass because of the fierceness of my speed So When I came to the place I gave them to understand That Christ meaning my self was Risen from the Dead c. shewing the Holes that were made in my Thumbs with the Needle upon which I was looked upon with a strange hasty look and charged to be silent for I was in Darkness the Witnesses of God were slain in me So there being many there and all of them judging me with one Consent I was silenced Upon which they spake lovingly to me and bad me to sit down and put on my Shoes which being done I made known unto them that my Leg was burned and the way by which it came to be burned then was there care taken by them for the healing of my leg but in regard it had been kept unknown before it was much corrupted and as I remember about a quarter of a year before it was cured much of which time I was constrained to keep my Bed and so not having the Liberty of my Body my Spirit was kept the stiller and the means of my Recovery out of that sad Condition which I was in was the more effectual Now being incensed by what was spoken from them and the strangeness of their Spirits towards what moved in me to speak or to act that I was in darkness the light by which I was enlightned being put out so that I had not a savory discerning of what was good and what was evil and also when seriously considering of divers actions which I was subjected to by the teachings of this Spirit that they were destructive to my being I was the more concerned in what was given me to understand by them Then was I in a sad condition not knowing what I should do that I might be redeemed from this body of sin and death So I was directed by them to wait a time and keep in my minde not giving heed unto any thing but what had a respect unto my necessary imployment which I endeavoured to do but could not for a time being so full of this Spirit by which I was tormented day and night through the strength of imagination upon things without me and also by the power of it self in me and many times with extream fiery burnings in my Spirit So in labouring to keep in my minde this Spirit in me came to be silenced in his motions and weakned of his strength by which his union with those Spirits without me was separated and so I was freed from their Company being resisted they flew away Now for a time this body of sin remained living in me by which I was tormented as before spoken and then being not fed with my service the strength of that Substance which is my Life having raised a war against him utterly destroyed burned up and confumed his whole Beings as is declared following About two months after it was given me to understand that I was in a delusion as I was going along the street I met one that was of us who told me That he had recieved a Letter forth of the Country from a Friend that was a Teacher so he asked me the Question Whether he were best to open it the next meeting which was on a private day or forbear until the first day so it was answered in the close of our discourse Do as thou wilt But when parted there was a voice spake in me saying Do as thou art moved which strongly tempted me to go back again and unspeak that word Wilt and place in the stead thereof Moved being perswaded that I had offended in speaking that word because the will of man was to be destroyed The next day being called to Dinner I refused in regard I had eat something that day before whereupon there arose in me an exceeding joy which I was not able to subdue the cause was conceived because of my obedience to the Pure in me The same day in the Afternoon going to a Meeting I was moved to eat two small Apples that I had in my pocket but first I waited a time that a patient gentle and pure Spirit might guide me in the eating of them then when going to eat them I was perswaded that two was too much at once believing that that Spirit which moved me to eat so much was a Devourer of the Creation so I resolved to eat but one and retain the other to dispose of to a Friend at the Meeting upon which there arose the like joy in me as before then did I conclude that surely the Lord was well pleased with me
that it required I could not be redeemed and since that the Truth was made manifest if disobeyed no remedy I should be eternally damned Wherefore as I respected my Salvation this Redeemer was to work me and to dispose of me according to his will and whatever I willed was not to be done but to be crossed by my being subject to this Redeemer Upon which there arose a great Controversie in my Spirit of what stood in the will of man and what did not said one Spirit This is in the will when it was not on the contrary said another Spirit as to the same thing this is not in the will and so through fear I should always yield a subjection unto that Spirit by which I was limited and brought under bondage to do many things in my will against my will whereupon I became a destroyer of the will of God as touching that Liberty which was allowed me in the use of my Members either to speak or to act also in the use of those Creatures made for the service of Man and so as those former weaknesses which reigned in me through the darkness of my understanding came to be destroyed my understanding being not then well enlighened greater weaknesses as to the not enjoyment of my self did arise also as one imaginary being in me came to be overthrown there was begotten the like Being in another shape and by it was I wrought upon to believe many things by me undeniable and also led forth and acted from one thing unto another according to what followeth So believing that what was manifested of God in man was the Light of Life which was one with himself as it is written I and my Father are one by which was given unto Man a savory discerning of what was Good and what was Evil what was darknesse which darknesse was to be expelled by this light there remained therefore nothing for the Man to do but to stand in the Will of that which was pure in him and so by it he became a Judge of what impurity or the Law of Sin would act him in which sin the occasion of Death was to be swallowed up in victory that so only the light of life which is innocent might live there being nothing in Man for Death even as a King over-ruling all in subjection unto himself Whereupon was concluded that Man was the Cause of all this distraction and confusion in himself and so abstracted from this confusion was that being which made an appearance of holinesse in the minds of all professed religious People subjected under divers Forms Ordinances and Ceremonies which is a vapour it self and must die as the Ordinances were shaddows and are ceased but Man having lost the kernel the substance which giveth nourishment and satisfies he feedeth upon the dry husk and being not refreshed with the true Bread and Water of Life he remaineth alwaies seeking and never comes to know what is true alwaies feeding and never satisfied until he comes to understand where the Bread of Life is to be found which is in himself according as it is written I in them and thou in me that they may be made perfect in one and so eternal life living in us there needs no more thirst there needs no more hunger after Knowledge this is eternal life to know God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent But since there is much Mysterie recorded in Scripture it is concluded that the knowledge of those Mysteries is to know the Will of Christ and so the way to salvation yea it is believed that the knowledge of the Scriptures is to know God and Christ though it is spoken concerning Christ I am the Way the Truth and the Life And again it is written the Word is nigh you in the mouth and in the heart so that the Way the Truth and the Life is in us that which giveth Salvation But saith * Judas 's love being removed from Christ by the seducements of the Deceiver his understanding became lost and so his minde was driven out from God into the Earth Judas How is it that thou wilt manifest thy self unto us and not unto the World But this Conclusion also proceeds from the evil one transformed in Man he being scattered very confused and darkned in his understanding covered as with a vail and so Satan as an Angel of Light moveth and leadeth forth to divers Duties which are his own for the upholding of his Reign in Man Also feeds Man with Wisdom and variety of pleasant Language called Gifts in performances for the upholding of his Duties by which sin being shaded over he is justified many being called failings but perfection is not to be attained in this life but in another life hereafter though it is written Except Christ be in you ye are Reprobates having rent the garments of righteousness ye are acursed being hipped up above the Truth and trampling the Blood of the Covenant the life of the Innocent in the dust so that if the Author and Finisher of our Faith be living in us there is perfection but if not perfection is not faithfulness being ceased Now the World was understood to be the Garden of Eden in which Man was placed at the first and still is and the Trees of this Garden all living beings proceeding out of the Earth living in and upon the Earth all which having their being of God the life of all things by somwhat of himself that proceedeth forth of the Earth God the Life who created all the Life from whence is received the increase of all It was also understood that Paradise was in Man where his delight should be where his minde should be stayed at unity with God who made choice to take up his Habitation and abode there himself with his increase the Family of Love and beloved Ones who were to be kept nourished and refreshed by Man 's living obedient unto the will of God in the same simplicity of Love and so at unity with this Family of Love the Seed of Israel Then was this understood to be the state in which all men were created and is now also the cause of his fall All men were made of nothing and still are as one Generation passeth away another Generation succeedeth by God the Author of all and so as one increase by him was brought to their end another increase was produced forth of himself according as it is written I kill and I make alive Therefore in the first Creation of Men they were made pure and holy without sin in the likeness of that God who was their Maker perfect for where no sin was there was perfection But Man when he came into a growth in the World he saw the excellency of that Provision of that Fruit prepared of God to be a nourishment or refreshment for him he began of himself by hearkening to the weaker being in him the fleshly minde to be discontented with that allowance which was sufficient
did eat to eat them The strangeness of this alteration being so great divers Friends came to see me intending by discourse to work me to a consideration of my condition by a better informing of my understanding but Reason being destroyed nothing took place in me but I judged them to be in the dark and that what was spoken from them was flesh their mindes and understandings being alienated from the Commonwealth of Israel my Master also with his Partner and others of the Family when discoursing with me all what was spoken by them was judged to be from the evil one in them whose I believed they were Now said they coming to live the life of the Scriptures you will finde the meaning of them they being fulfilled by you to be opened to your understanding by the life in you and so they will be found another thing than what formerly they were but at this time not having received that knowledge that I was to wait for the birth such a time out of my own wisdom my own knowledge and imagination going to read the Scriptures I found such a strange alteration in many things contrary to what formerly I did believe that I was taken affected with it upon which I was perswaded to read over the whole Scriptures and in reading that which desired knowledge in me prevailed upon me to search out the meaning of divers things which seeking destroyed my former understanding and gave me to believe another meaning then did I really conclude That I was taught by the word in me the same word which the holy men of God that spake forth the Scriptures had living in them by which they were inabled to speak them forth upon which I was injoyned by a stronger phansie supposed to be the Spirit of Christ to spend all my time that possible I could gain night and day to learn knowledge by the teachings of the Holy Ghost in me by which in a short time I did really believe that there was not any thing expressed but I had the perfect knowledge of in the end words and letter did signifie to my apprehension divers meanings Thus fancy and imagination acting together I was besotted and made perfect drunk in my understanding by the airy Spirit gotten in from without by which I became like unto a distracted man Having this perswasion in my self that all knowledge contained in the Scriptures was revealed unto me I was really possessed with a confident belief that Christ Jesus that died at Ierusalem was a figure of me and that I was the true Christ that Angel spoken of in the Revelation which was to flie through the midst of Heaven declaring the everlasting Gospel to all Kindreds Nations Tongues and People There was also revealed unto me by the teachings of that Spirit in me which gave me the knowledge of the Scriptures that the dissolution of all things would be at the end of sixty three yeers in which time by my Ministery and the rest of our Teachers the Jews were to be called with the Gentiles who had lost the knowledge of the Gospel immediately after the Apostles dayes from which time until now that God raised his Spirit to Life in those of us both Jews and Gentiles have lain in blindness serving the God of the World the Prince of darkness and without the knowledge of the true God in the world Wherefore all both Ministers and people that were since a short time after the Apostles dayes they having bowed down to the Gods of the Earth and so worshipped the Gods of the Heathen the God of Gods who is the Lord of all had condemned them and their gods eternally Wherefore now the Candle of the wicked was to be put out by the everlasting Gospel spoken from the eternal Life in us by which those that were elected to Salvation should have the Life raised in them whose brightness as it was revealed should swallow up all that was for Condemnation so the eternal Life living in them there was Salvation It was also believed That I should live to the End and then Christ which died at Jerusalem was to meet me in the Mount of God which was in a multitude of bright Clouds where I was immediately to be transformed into a Celestial Body all Spirit where that Christ and I should sit Judges of all that ever had a Being in the World Wherefore now it being so that I was to be the Minister in the hand of God for the converting of those who were Elected to Salvation to the true knowledge by which eternal life was to be found my minde was informed that though I had the perfect knowledge of the Scripture it was not sufficient for this work And also I was perswaded There was a greater Revelation to be made manifest in me than there was in Christ or the Apostles Whereupon I was enjoyned that I should spend all the time that possibly I could in waiting for Revelations from Heaven which I did according to the teachings of this Spirit in me hearkening diligently with my minde fixed upwards towards Heaven in expectation to hear some voyce from thence Whereupon the first time I really supposed I heard many excellent voyces which made an exceeding sweet and pleasant Melody Upon which I believed they were Spirits sent from God to make known unto me the greatness of that joy there was in Heaven because of me by which appearance being over-ravished I was firmly resolved to be pliable to that Spirit which moved me in this way of waiting So a short time following there appeared to me two Spirits in the likeness of a Man's shade which apparitions were believed to be Angels sent from God to minister unto me from whom did proceed to my acceptation at that time excellent things concerning God and Christ that died at Ierusalem also concerning the Angels and the excellency of that place called Heaven Following this there came many such-like Spirits that were all taken to be Angels at which sight there was a voice spake in me which gave greetings to those apparitions upon which there was answered by them That within twenty five dayes perfection should be stablished in me and so I should be made perfect entire wanting nothing the whole work of God having been made manifest then should I suffer the likeness of that Death and Resurrection which was real by him that died at Ierusalem after which I should be sent forth to preach the Gospel and then Michael the Archangel should be living in me by whom I should be carried to and fro throughout the World and enabled to preach the Gospel After this time for these twenty five dayes when the Spirit in me willed me to go private which was sometimes in the day and almost all these twenty five nights I durst not deny the movings as I respected my Salvation yea I do verily believe I did not rest one night with another above one hour in a night all the time of these
Spirits by vvhom I vvas accompanied as though I had been a Spirit my self It may be observed That about this time it was so with me That what I looked upon I should be searching after knowledge in relation to it making enquiry the cause of its Being the way by which it came to have a Being c. For I was perswaded That the Knowledge of all things was to be Discovered and made known to me so that a while after my prying so much after Knowledge did infuse so much Spirit in me that I could not look upon any thing but I was tormented in my Spirit at the sight thereof and many times had such burnings in my Body as may be likened to the heat of live Coals by which for many nights I could not have the least rest Having refrained from Food about a day and a half I was moved though limited by the Spirit in me for a longer time to go and eare So having made a search for the like Food that usually I did eat and finding none but in the stead thereof a great Roast of Beef I was at a loss upon which there arose a great Contest in my Spirit what I should do said that Spirit which respected me for the satisfying of Nature Eate of the Beef said the other Spirit by which I was limited No I am the Lord said the former Nay but eate since there is no other there is a sufficient justification Whereupon the Case being well examined after a time Judgement was determined upon that Spirit by which I was limited So I did take and eat while satisfied with much moderation All which time being much disquieted and strongly moved to give over This Deed being now finished I went into the Hall where after two or three turns I sate down and casting my Eyes upwards I was taken with a strong Fancy that I saw Heaven open from whence proceeded a great blast of Fire somwhat like unto Lightning at which sight being really perswaded it was a discovery of those Plagues which were to be poured forth upon me because of the former Disobedience I was struck down by that power in me as though a dead thing had fallen upon which immediately there was an extream burning within me like unto the heat of a fiery hot Furnace which remained a little more than about half a quarter of an hour About three hours following this there was a private Meeting of our People whither I was moved to go though much contrary to my Will but being in a great fear I durst not deny but went so after I had been there about half an hour I was moved by the power of that Spirit in me to shake which manner of shaking I had long waited for believing they were Effects in order to the rooting out and perfect destroying of that Being in me which was of the Devil So it being observed that I was moved to shake the Command was Give way which signified that I should not limit the Work of the Lord in me upon that which was for Condemnation so I gave way upon which the strength of that Spirit by which I was moved to shake grew so that what strength I had in me of my self was not in the least sufficient to subdue the workings of the other Spirit in and upon me whose power wrought so in me being spread like unto an infused substance into all Parts and Joynts of my Body that my whole Man was so shaken torn and rent that had I not by a great strength been enabled I could not have contained Also it did work in me as though I had taken a strong Purge by which I was clensed exceedingly in working forth of me an extream Foam So having fulfilled its Will it ceased of it self Now as the Air is rent by the fierceness of the Spirit by which is caused a hideous and ratling noise called Thunder and so the whole Heavens become clensed of all filthy vapours or corrupted substance naturally destructive to all Beings so was it believed that the corrupted Spirit in me was rent and torn by that Spirit which is my Life by which the Heavens in me was clensed Then was I possessed with these perswasions That this was one of those two Plagues which was to be poured forth upon me and that the occasion of this Plague was because of the denial of my Lord and Master in the presence of the Jewish Spirits in me out of respect to my own Liberty the satisfying of Nature with that Food which was disallowed After this as I remember the following night I was Commanded to stay up all that night and wait for Revelations but having refrained from sleep divers nights before I could not wait according to the requirings of the Spirit because of extream drouziness whereupon I made intercession to those Apparitions to take rest for that night so upon Promise of attending there the next night I had liberty but going up stairs a voyce spake in me and willed me to go down but then I supposed it to be from one of the Spirits which I left behind me in the Room so out of great fear I was enjoyned to stay up all that night and durst not sleep but wait for Revelations and having waited a short time I could not possibly refrain longer from rest then was I perswaded to go against the Will of the Spirit in me but in going it spake again and Commanded me to go in the Shop which I did and having waited there about half an hour wrestling strongly against sleep I moved of my self to go up again into the Chamber but going up stairs another voyce spake behind me and Commanded me to return back again then was I Commanded by that in me to lie down and humble my self for I had Blasphemed which I did wallowing and tumbling upon the ground Then heard I another voyce saying Nicodemus is in thee the betrayer of Christ in the night Then sorrow struck me to the very heart and I was extreamly troubled so after I had layen about an hours time upon the ground I was moved by that Being in me to rise but as I was rising I was commanded to lie down again Anon after I was moved to rise as before but when rising I was commanded to lie still and so by contradictions of this Spirit in me was I thus acted divers times in the end it was pleased to raise me on my Feet it self moving and guiding of my Body by its own power like as before So this night being spent I was in the morning commanded to light a Fire with dead Coals and Sticks that a Miracle might be made known to be wrought by me being really perswaded that like as Fire did proceed from the Lord upon the Altar in the sight of Moses Aaron and the Children of Israel So from the Lord in me should there proceed that Vertue vvhich should infuse a heat into those Coals and Sticks by vvhich
because of the tenderness that I had towards the Pure in me for in regard of the desparate case I was in I was tender of every thing that I speak or acted So the following day about the evening immediately there sprang forth of me thoughts so fast as one could follow the other without the least moving by me to think any thing then began the destruction of the body of sin and so those thoughts remained flying abroad in the Air every moment so fast as could be while about two or three dayes and then immediately as before concerning Thoughts there arose a speaking in my minde so fast as one word could be expressed after another so those Thoughts and Speaking in my minde continued every moment of time as I remember about two months and all along as time went away that Being which thought and spake sink'd deeper in my minde till in the end they were swallowed up in victory but from that time of a about two months they began to cease a little about one or two hours at divers times in a day and so as time came on they ceased by degrees while at last I could have remained an hour or two together without any thing in my Minde or the least Thought and in the end sometimes a whole day with very few Thoughts or any thing in my Minde then came I to witness a Redeemer from that body of sin that lived in me Now in the whole time of this speaking in my Minde and flying abroad of my Thoughts I laboured according to the teaching of my own Spirit to keep in my Minde for the destroying of these Thoughts and Speaking so by the power of that which was low in the Mind the Meek the Humble like as a Lamb and a Lion gentle and strong was the strength of this sin subdued and by that Light which saw it was there a fire kindled by which it was destroyed and burned up and the ashes blown away like chaff before the winde In all this time of the war every Member were Enemies against me whatever my Minde was taken with either in seeing in hearing in smelling in tasting in feeling what was minded by any of my Sences this evil One in me would be raising of Thoughts in things of the like Nature So almost a years time having been spent amongst these people with exceeding zeal in their way acted forth from such a Love that may not be expressed and very strict in the performance of every of these Ceremonies before spoken when being through rich Grace abundant Mercy in some measure restored unto the like enjoyment I had before I knew any thing of them through a great providence the Lord was pleased to enlighten my Understanding by the manifestation of what was according to himself in me compared with what was given forth from himself recorded in his Scripture the manner of which is declared following so that weakness which ruled and reigned in me and by which I was subjected to the performance of those Ceremonial Practises being made known by the Truth which abides for ever I was freed from the former Obedience by which as a slave I was kept in bondage through much deceit covered with a voluntary Humility worshipping therein I knew not what Whereupon there was occasioned a bitter envy in them against me so that with greatest violence they took to themselves that power of judging me to be a Judas a Betrayer of the innocent and that wherein I was separated from them therein was I joyned unto an Harlot which Harlot they denied giving me to know That the Plagues of God would continually follow me which Condemnation I must own for I was turned out to among the wilde Beasts in the broad way which way did lead unto eternal Death These and many such-like terrible judging Expressions were made known unto me by a noise from a Chief of them but forasmuch as the same Nature lived in me for a time by which I was not onely acted to judge all men that were not of us to be reprobated from the knowledge of the Truth and so accursed from God with what judgment followeth those who are in such a condition but I abhorred the very sight of Men so that I knew the ground in him from whence this judging of me did arise Wherefore I was minded to let pass what was spoken judging better things of him and that through the weakness of his Understanding out of a simplicity of Love to the Truth and good intents towards me was he thus moved to speak of me Now all this time of my being amongst this people I durst not declare any thing of my minde unto any but those of us or hearken unto any thing spoken by any which bear Testimony against any thing practised by us so that I came not to see what might be offered from any as an Objection against those Ceremonies looked upon as substantials in performances But afterwards seeing a Friend at the Meeting which was of us whom I had not seen for a time whose understanding was enlightned touching many things which formerly he was subjected unto though not known unto me So after some passages between us he began to speak somthing concerning those words Thee and Thou intending to bring me to understand what that was in me by which I was guided to the performance of them and being wary lest I should apprehend in him a dislike touching the using of them and so occasion a disturbance in me he brought his Discourse so about that it was required I should give an Information of what was manifested in me touching the Evil that lay in the not performance of them though not by way of Question So having examined with my self I gave him Answer That the word You did respect more than One But the words Thee and Thou were the true English words so that that minde by which the words were removed out of their places was the pride in Man which Nature stood in the Fall and therefore it was not to be fed but as though in a pretence of holding a contrary Argument He Discoursed with me for the word You and not the words Thee and Thou especially in some cases One ground of his Argument was Give no offence to Iew nor Gentile nor the Church of God all which kept the Peace to those that could bear them the words Thee and Thou but to those that could not the word You. So after some time of Discourse upon these words he spake in the same kind as though by contraries concerning taking off the Hat and civil Respect between man and man with the rest of those things refused by us but there being not a sufficiency in me to Answer what was spoken by him I told him That I was Convinced in my self and so I was moved from the Lord in what I did but could not make out to his understanding what was my Convincement Then he gave me to