Selected quad for the lemma: spirit_n
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A71133
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Some remarkable passages in the holy life and death of the late Reverend Mr. Edmund Trench most of them drawn out of his own diary.
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Trench, Edmund, 1643-1689.; Boyse, J. (Joseph), 1660-1728.
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1693
(1693)
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Wing T2109; ESTC R7785
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40,931
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132
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has not been so constant nor my Converse so useful as it should Less prositable Discourses and books have taken up too much time I am not prepared as I would for the Lord's-Day approaching I need and beg pardon that I delight no more in the more spiritual heaqvenly Duties and Studies and am as desirous O may I be as laborious to do better for c. Brenchley Aug. 31. I have not been what I would yet I hope I am in the way to be what I wish in Heaven O may I be much better on Earth To Morrow I design to take a Journey with my Brother c. O may I be able to reflect with comfort at my return on what I was and did Sept. 21. God's Goodness accompanied me in my Journey shin'd in Relations Loveliness and Love preserv'd my Family and has brought us together in safety May all be crown'd with encrease of Holiness and fruitful Gratitude c. Octob. 16. Four Fits of a Tertian Ague had much weaken'd and iudisposed me God then took it off and I seem recovering my former State of Health I thought of Death with little or no fear and hope I should have been happy if I had died though now my Reflections are not so comfortable I have sometimes thought I was beyond what I wrote but now I am down again Bodily indisposition dulls me But why is not my Soul more vigorous Had I comply'd with the Holy Spirit and convers'd with God as I ought I might have had more of his comforting strengthning Influences and helps I desire to qualisie my self for them by a far better improvement of all Aids vouchsaf'd Help heavenly Father for thy Son's sake Amen Nov. 8. Our Seventh Son was Baptiz'd and Nam'd Edmund May we and ours be still more our God's agnizing his Supream Right and living more in the lively sense and active acknowledgments thereof Amen for c. Decemb. 11. My God has continued to engage me by his kindness to my whole Self and ours and to our Relations who are so pleasant and useful to us I have proceeded in my course of Duty but alas too heavily without such Diligence Life and Chearfulness as become so excellent a Service I desire to be what I wish and to endeavour with all my might When shall I write that I am and do so Lord help me to help my self and suffer me not to forfeit the Aids thou vouchsafest May I improve ' cm all with greater watchfulness alacrity and success And may I do my utmost for all that I am concern'd to help for c. Decem. 31. The 25th I remembred my Saviour and renew'd my Covenant at the Holy Table and before and after have taken some pains in his Service sincerely I hope desiring and endeavouring to please him my self and to help others to joyn with yea exceed me May I still do better and in the revolutions of Time think more of and prepare better for Eternity Amen for c. Brenchley Jan. 29. 1687. I hope I have been crawling upwards though somewhat unevenly and attempted to do good as I had occasions to converse with Men and prepar'd my self at least sometimes for Visits that they might be useful and not as alas too often lost in Impertinences Many come and partake of what I customarily do in my Family on the Lord's Days after publick Service I may not exclude 'em though uninvited I hope and pray and endeavour that God may honour me to do their Souls some lasting good I am sensible of God's goodness as to my private Concerns and publick Circumstances and desire Heart and Life may be answerable for my Saviour's sake Amen I have been also disturb'd with the Extreams of some censorious Dividers I have no Enmity against the Men but can by no means approve their ways nor concur as I am desir'd with ' em Apr. 25. 1687. I have been doing my Duty to the wearying and wasting of my flesh I have been twice feasted by my Lord at his Table I hope not without some advantage May 16. The different Opinions and especially the very indecent heats of good Men to which the present liberty gave vent were no small disturbance to me And July 2. I desire to lay to heart the Condition of the Church of God the woful neglects of Christian Love in all Parties and the strange furious Heats that prey on the vital fervour of Religion provoke God and threaten destruction Pity and help O Lord for vain is the help of man July 20. Speaking of a very deep and cutting Affliction that had often return'd I am far from entertaining hard thoughts of God I heartily submit to his Soveraign Pleasure I acknowledge his Justice might be far severer and I am sensible of abundance of Mercy and that I want Thankfulness which I often beg of him I 'm still more consirm'd in the ways of Love that I have chosen and abhor Love-killing Principles and Practices in all Parties Octob. 6. Ending the 44th Year of my earthly Pilgrimage I review'd what I wrote Octob. 7. 1685. and found my Apprehensions of my own Condition much the same I have continued taking pains in my Studies for the Service of Souls to the wearying if not wasting of the Flesh yet my Spirit hath not attain'd the frame I wish impertinent Thoughts wandring Imaginations inordinate Affections are my great and culpable Troubles When shall I sind and be able to write better God grant that I may whatever I suffer for 't Decemb. 31. I have been much perplexed between repeated Messages from Hackney and others as unexpected from Ashford and such Considerations as Reason and Religion suggest about our designed remove I was very faulty in suffering 'em to hinder in such a measure my Converse with God and my Comfort Peace and Joy therein that a Sacramental Communion 25th afforded so little sweetness and benefit that I receiv'd no more from the infinite Fountain ascended no higher towards him and had not much larger Communications from him O Lord forgive and help that my better Obedience and farther participation of a Godlike nature may praise thine infinite Benignity and sill my Mouth and Heart with a warmer sense of all thy Favours and with more suitable Expressions Especially I pray that my Thoughts may be contented and Labours fastned to present Duty that without needless projecting for the future I may do what appears necessary now Let the Year that 's now to begin be better improved than any past Let me live as apprehending I may die before it ends that if I should survive it I may reflect how I sill'd it with God's fruitful Service and rejoyce in hope that at length Time will be ended and therewith the too too many failings of my Duty and Comfort Amen for my dear Saviour's sake Troubles without and especially Failings within have much indispos'd me for Duty and the Sweets thereof yet when lately ill I had no great fears but could think
those circumstantial Differences that have occasion'd such unhappy Breaches among us He abhor'd all consorious Heats and I never knew him more heartily angry against any than against the Broachers of narrow love-killing Principles of what Party or Perswasion soever He was zeasous for Peace and Love as well as good Works of a truly healing and catholick Spirit He was himself dissatisfied with some Terms of Ministerial Conformity But yet he encourag'd faithful Parochial Ministers with his ordinary Presence and Communion and never censured those that were satisfied in what he scrupled but kept up an entire Friendship with many of very eminent note to the very last Nunquam de dogmatibus Christus disseruit sed saepe ubique imo semper de vivendi sinceritate was a Sentence often in his Mouth and upon his Heart written in the first Leaf of his Breviate and as I remember of his common Preaching Bible If Men fear'd God and wrought Righteousness he lov'd them heartily however different in Judgment about Matters less necessary and important His Humility was also very remarkable He was cloath'd with it as with a Livery and honourable Badge to discover his Relation to his humble condescending Saviour as I remember he us'd to interpret that place 1 Pet. 5.5 Though he was justly esteem'd by those that knew him as an Oracle of Learning that had not many Superiours yet had he low undervaluing not to say injurious Thoughts of himself 'T was this indeed that has prov'd an unhappiness to the Church of God his Humility having stified many excellent Discourses that might have been of publick use and made him too willing to consine his Life and Labours to an obscure Corner His Charity was very singular and exemplary He devoted the 10th and for many Years the 7th part of his Estate to Charitable Uses Neither did he stint himself to but often exceeded even these large proportions He was peculiarly prudent in manageing his Alms to the best advantage endeavour'd at the same time to save the Bodies and Souls of Men too by the same act to supply their temporal Wants and promote their spiritual Welfare How often have I known him visit the Poor examine their Provisions and deal out his Bounty with a free and liberal Hand And still he mingsed good Counsel with all his Alms and affectionately perswaded to serious Piety which had often a very commanding abiding Influence He spent much pains and cost in instructing poor Children in the Principles of Religion in giving Bibles and other good Books exacting a diligent perusal and frequently calling them to an account of their Proficiency He had many other secret ways of Charity as largely appears by his private Accounts for which he courted not the Applause of Men but is now rewarded by his heavenly Father I shall only farther mention his Patience and entire Resignation to the Will of God For some Years before his Death God visited him with very sore Afflictions of different natures But he bore them all with a great sense of his Fathers hand and did not charge his Providence foolishly His last Sickness was occasion'd by a fall which caus'd a small Wound or rather Scratch in his Leg neglected by himself at first but meeting with an insirm distemper'd Body at last prov'd dangerous and destructive But yet under all the excessive Tortures of his Pain and frequent lancings of the Chirurgeons he still exprest great Patience adn when at any time the extremity of his pain forc'd him to cry out he check'd himself expressing his fears of dishonouring God by impatience and blest his heavenly Father that worse was not inflicted Nor did he by peevishness disquiet those about him but was thankful to every one that did any necessary Offices for him was pleas'd with every thing that was done readily condescended to every Proposal and Advice of the Physicians He Preach'd in his Chair and in his Bed affectionately exhorted all that attended on him to the serious practice of Religion and suited his Counselfs to the particular Circumstances as for as he knew them of all that visited him He died with connortable hopes of Happiness and often told me from the very beginning of his Sickness that he had no tormenting fears of Death That though he could have wish'd he had been more watchful and useful yet he hop'd he had been sincere and trusted that for Christ's sake all his Sins were forgiven That though he had not Raptures and Transports yet he had a constant peaceful Calm which continued to the last moment of his Life And for some Wecks before he died he longed to be dissolved and earnestly desir'd if God saw good that he might be with Christ Thus liv'd thus dy'd this eminent Saint And now what remains but that we take the Apostle's Counsel as apply'd to this Occasion Phil. 4.9 Those things which ye have both learn'd and receiv'd and heard and seen in him do ye likewise And as the God of Peace was with him so he will be with you in Life in Death and to Eternity FINIS Books Printed for Thomas Parkhurst and Jonathan Robinson THere is lately publish'd A compleat History of the Acts Decisions Decrees and Canons of those Famous National Councils of the Reformed Churches in France Wherein are contained 1. A most faithful and impartial account of the Rise Growth Perfection and Decay of the Reformation in that Kingdom with its fatal Catastrophe upon the Revocation of the Edict of Nants in the Year 1685.2 The Confession of Faith and Discipline of those Churches 3. A Collection of Speeches Letters Sacred Politicks Cases of Conscience and Controversies in Divinity determined and resolved by those grave Assemblies 4. Many excellent Expedients for preventing and healing Schisms in the Churches and for re-uniting the dismembred Body of divided Protestants 5. The Laws Government and Maintenance of their Colledges Universities and Ministers together with their Exercise of Discipline upon delinquent Ministers and Church-members 6. A Record of very many Illustrious Events of Divine Providence relating to those Churches The whole Collected and Composed out of Original Manuscript Acts of those Renowned Synods A Work never before Extant in any Language In two Volumes A Defence of the Catholick Faith concerning the Satisfaction of Christ Written Originally by the Learned Hugo Grotius And now Translated by W. H. A Work very necessary in these Times for the preventing of the Growth of Socinianisin Mr. Richard Baxter's Paraphrase on the Psalms of David in Metre with other Hymns Left sitted for the Press under his own Hand A Discourse of Earthquakes By R. Flemming Author of the Fulsilling of Scriptures