suffer_v great_a persecution_n 2._o god_n can_v if_o he_o will_v hide_v i_o from_o the_o strife_n of_o tongue_n yea_o he_o promise_v to_o do_v so_o for_o they_o that_o trust_v in_o he_o psal_n 31._o 19_o 20._o he_o can_v make_v a_o man_n enemy_n to_o be_v at_o peace_n with_o he_o and_o will_v if_o our_o way_n please_v he_o prov._n 16._o 7._o however_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v solicitous_a of_o man_n judgement_n in_o this_o matter_n but_o commit_v my_o way_n and_o cause_n to_o the_o lord_n and_o if_o i_o be_v reproach_v he_o will_v one_o day_n clear_v i_o ps_n 37._o 5_o 6._o 3._o if_o i_o do_v meet_v with_o shame_n and_o reproach_n for_o my_o diligence_n in_o preach_v the_o word_n it_o be_v no_o more_o than_o the_o apostle_n meet_v with_o 1_o cor._n 4._o 9_o 10_o 13._o yea_o ay_o christ_n suffer_v great_a contradiction_n in_o his_o preach_v they_o say_v he_o be_v mad_a and_o have_v a_o devil_n and_o i_o be_o bid_v to_o remember_v it_o as_o that_o which_o will_v keep_v i_o from_o faint_a 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word_n grow_v common_a will_v be_v nauseated_a etc._n etc._n reply_v 1_o the_o heart_n of_o all_o man_n be_v in_o god_n hand_n if_o he_o touch_v their_o heart_n they_o shall_v come_v 1_o sam._n 10._o 26._o i_o will_v leave_v that_o to_o the_o lord_n whether_o he_o will_v incline_v many_o or_o but_o few_o to_o attend_v upon_o his_o word_n 2._o the_o angel_n those_o glorious_a creature_n do_v not_o disdain_v to_o preach_v christ_n to_o a_o few_o poor_a shepherd_n and_o therefore_o i_o shall_v not_o think_v much_o to_o preach_v christ_n though_o to_o never_o such_o a_o thin_a congregation_n jesus_n christ_n himself_o preach_v the_o gospel_n to_o one_o hearer_n only_o and_o that_o a_o poor_a sinful_a woman_n of_o samaria_n joh._n 4._o 3._o god_n presence_n be_v not_o tie_v to_o a_o multitude_n if_o but_o two_o or_o three_o be_v gather_v together_o in_o his_o name_n he_o be_v in_o the_o midst_n of_o they_o and_o if_o god_n will_v bless_v his_o word_n for_o the_o conversion_n of_o but_o one_o soul_n it_o be_v worth_a all_o our_o labour_n and_o pain_n mark_n 8._o 37._o jam._n 5._o 19_o 20._o 4._o i_o shall_v desire_v to_o do_v my_o work_n to_o god_n and_o not_o to_o man_n because_o god_n command_v i_o though_o man_n may_v slight_v my_o pain_n and_o do_v not_o gather_v together_o to_o hear_v the_o word_n yet_o my_o work_n be_v before_o the_o lord_n and_o my_o reward_n with_o he_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v glorious_a in_o his_o eye_n however_o i_o appear_v before_o man_n isa_n 49._o 5._o however_o man_n reckon_v of_o my_o labour_n though_o the_o more_o i_o love_v they_o and_o labour_v for_o they_o the_o less_o i_o belove_v yet_o this_o shall_v not_o be_v any_o hindrance_n to_o i_o in_o the_o work_n of_o god_n but_o i_o shall_v glad_o spend_v myself_o and_o be_v spend_v therein_o 2_o cor._n 12._o 13._o have_v consult_v god_n and_o see_v such_o good_a ground_n for_o my_o undertake_n i_o set_v up_o a_o lecture_n once_o a_o fortnight_n on_o thursday_n in_o the_o afternoon_n 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christ_n the_o subject_n we_o have_v to_o write_v of_o have_v be_v in_o the_o eye_n of_o some_o of_o his_o generation_n yet_o i_o be_o persuade_v none_o of_o the_o worthy_n in_o the_o church_n of_o god_n that_o be_v go_v before_o he_o will_v count_v it_o any_o disparagement_n to_o their_o honour_n that_o he_o be_v add_v to_o their_o number_n who_o precious_a name_n survive_v their_o death_n the_o record_n which_o have_v be_v make_v and_o publish_v of_o the_o life_n of_o many_o excellent_a and_o holy_a person_n consist_v for_o the_o most_o part_n only_o of_o such_o passage_n as_o have_v fall_v under_o the_o observation_n of_o those_o who_o have_v more_o intimate_o and_o frequent_o converse_v with_o they_o &_o many_o hand_n have_v contribute_v to_o the_o collect_v of_o some_o more_o remarkable_a word_n and_o action_n which_o a_o ingenious_a pen_n in_o just_a honour_n to_o the_o subject_a improve_v as_o indices_fw-la of_o those_o singular_a accomplishment_n of_o mind_n and_o heart_n which_o be_v beyond_o the_o reach_n of_o the_o most_o observant_a eye_n and_o be_v there_o nothing_o else_o to_o be_v recover_v concern_v the_o subject_n before_o we_o but_o what_o may_v be_v so_o collect_v from_o the_o hand_n of_o those_o who_o have_v the_o happy_a advantage_n to_o know_v full_o his_o doctrine_n manner_n of_o life_n purpose_n faith_n long_o suffer_v charity_n patience_n etc._n etc._n i_o doubt_v not_o but_o if_o manage_v by_o a_o skilful_a pen_n it_o will_v just_o amount_v to_o such_o a_o character_n of_o he_o as_o may_v worthy_o render_v he_o a_o more_o than_o ordinary_a example_n of_o faith_n and_o holiness_n of_o scripturall_a knowledge_n and_o practice_n as_o well_o to_o the_o preacher_n as_o professor_n of_o the_o gospel_n of_o christ_n to_o the_o praise_n of_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n but_o their_o be_v less_o need_n of_o this_o in_o reference_n to_o our_o subject_n himself_o have_v not_o only_o in_o great_a measure_n prevent_v and_o save_v his_o friend_n that_o labour_n and_o service_n but_o moreover_o discover_v the_o inmost_a secret_n of_o his_o heart_n towards_o god_n beyond_o all_o that_o can_v be_v know_v of_o he_o by_o the_o strict_a observation_n of_o other_o what_o have_v be_v the_o advantageous_a practice_n sometime_o though_o very_o rare_a of_o some_o eminent_a servant_n of_o god_n who_o have_v make_v religion_n their_o business_n viz._n to_o write_v curriculum_fw-la vita_fw-la the_o manner_n and_o course_n of_o their_o own_o life_n appear_v to_o have_v be_v he_o he_o not_o only_o keep_v a_o strict_a eye_n upon_o himself_o and_o take_v special_a notice_n of_o his_o own_o heart_n and_o way_n and_o the_o manner_n of_o his_o spiritual_a live_n unto_o god_n but_o lest_o he_o shall_v forget_v and_o render_v it_o useless_a commit_v the_o same_o to_o paper_n record_v the_o deal_n of_o god_n towards_o he_o the_o work_n of_o corruption_n and_o grace_n his_o conflict_n and_o temptation_n the_o secret_a intercourse_n and_o communion_n between_o god_n and_o his_o soul_n the_o approach_n and_o withdrawing_n of_o the_o holy_a spirit_n his_o lifting_n up_o and_o casting_n down_o the_o act_n of_o faith_n and_o love_n divine_a assistance_n in_o duty_n return_v of_o prayer_n the_o clearness_n of_o his_o evidence_n and_o rejoice_n of_o his_o hope_n etc._n etc._n wherein_o the_o life_n and_o power_n of_o true_a religion_n do_v more_o consist_v than_o in_o all_o open_a and_o visibel_v act_n out_o of_o this_o treasury_n which_o be_v enough_o to_o supply_v a_o far_o large_a volume_n have_v be_v fetch_v the_o great_a part_n of_o that_o furniture_n which_o fill_v these_o page_n and_o that_o most_o in_o his_o own_o word_n you_o that_o read_v may_v therefore_o imagine_v you_o hear_v this_o holy_a prophet_n bespeak_v you_o in_o the_o word_n of_o another_o prophet_n come_v and_o read_v all_o you_o that_o fear_v god_n and_o i_o will_v tell_v you_o what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n my_o own_o experience_n assure_v i_o that_o to_o those_o who_o be_v engage_v in_o the_o spiritual_a war_n and_o run_v the_o christian_a race_n and_o have_v set_v their_o face_n towards_o god_n it_o will_v be_v useful_a encourage_v delightful_a and_o satisfactory_a to_o read_v so_o much_o of_o the_o sense_n and_o feel_n of_o their_o own_o heart_n in_o the_o experience_n of_o this_o bless_a saint_n the_o great_a part_n of_o who_o yet_o i_o believe_v will_v find_v cause_n to_o be_v ashamed_a before_o god_n see_v themselves_o so_o far_o cast_v behind_o and_o may_v be_v provoke_v to_o mend_v their_o pace_n in_o press_v forward_o towards_o the_o mark_n to_o which_o he_o have_v attain_v as_o for_o such_o as_o rest_v in_o their_o negative_a goodness_n and_o commendable_a moral_n their_o form_n of_o godliness_n and_o bodily_a exercise_n in_o religion_n without_o the_o life_n and_o power_n thereof_o who_o know_v but_o they_o may_v be_v convince_v of_o the_o vanity_n of_o their_o hope_n and_o the_o sandy_a foundation_n 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this_o now_o glorify_a saint_n have_v the_o like_a effect_n on_o they_o that_o read_v it_o to_o the_o humble_a and_o teachable_a it_o shall_v be_v in_o adjutorium_fw-la but_o to_o the_o scorner_n and_o despiser_n in_o testimonium_fw-la the_o relation_n mr._n owen_n stockton_n be_v bear_v in_o the_o city_n of_o chichester_n in_o the_o county_n of_o sussex_n the_o last_o week_n of_o may_n 1630._o be_v the_o four_o son_n of_o his_o father_n mr._n owen_n stockton_n a_o worthy_a prebendary_a of_o that_o cathedral_n who_o be_v a_o young_a brother_n of_o that_o ancient_a family_n of_o the_o stockton_n of_o kiddington_n green_n in_o cheshire_n about_o the_o seven_o year_n of_o his_o age_n his_o father_n die_v and_o leave_v the_o care_n of_o he_o and_o his_o other_o child_n to_o their_o mother_n a_o pious_a gentlewoman_n of_o the_o family_n of_o the_o tilee_n in_o cambridgeshire_n she_o be_v a_o widow_n and_o stranger_n in_o chichester_n soon_o after_o the_o death_n of_o her_o husband_n return_v to_o her_o native_a country_n and_o settle_a herself_o at_o ely_n where_o be_v a_o very_a good_a grammar_n school_n under_o the_o government_n of_o mr._n william_n hitche_n to_o who_o care_n she_o commit_v this_o her_o son_n for_o his_o education_n from_o a_o child_n he_o be_v of_o great_a hope_n while_o yet_o a_o little_a grammar_n scholar_n his_o inclination_n be_v such_o as_o presage_v more_o than_o ordinary_a improvement_n look_v once_o accidental_o into_o mr._n fox_n his_o act_n and_o monument_n ecclesiastical_a in_o one_o of_o the_o parish_n church_n of_o that_o town_n and_o read_v some_o little_a part_n thereof_o he_o be_v so_o affect_v with_o the_o knowledge_n of_o that_o history_n that_o he_o never_o cease_v to_o supplicate_v his_o friend_n till_o he_o have_v obtain_v one_o part_n of_o they_o for_o his_o use_n wherein_o decline_v the_o puerile_a recreation_n to_o which_o his_o
god_n be_v a_o spirit_n of_o truth_n and_o of_o life_n too_o communicate_v both_o grace_n and_o gift_n and_o teach_v as_o well_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d as_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d both_o which_o consist_v together_o in_o this_o excellent_a person_n the_o word_n of_o god_n dwell_v both_o in_o his_o head_n and_o heart_n and_o be_v effectual_o the_o law_n of_o his_o life_n he_o be_v a_o burn_v as_o well_o as_o shine_v light_n a_o man_n more_o than_o ordinary_o mortify_v to_o the_o pleasure_n of_o the_o flesh_n and_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n free_o and_o resolve_o devote_v to_o the_o fear_n of_o god_n his_o conversation_n be_v in_o heaven_n his_o communion_n with_o god_n his_o delight_n in_o the_o saint_n his_o business_n religion_n his_o zeal_n for_o holiness_n his_o main_a design_n the_o glorify_v of_o god_n and_o the_o salvation_n of_o his_o own_o and_o other_o soul_n whereof_o the_o follow_a page_n will_v i_o doubt_v not_o be_v a_o abundant_a evidence_n not_o only_o to_o the_o charitable_a but_o rational_a judgement_n of_o the_o christian_a reader_n as_o for_o his_o practice_n of_o mortification_n i_o shall_v not_o otherwise_o express_v it_o than_o in_o his_o own_o word_n as_o i_o read_v it_o in_o the_o record_n of_o the_o remarkable_a passage_n of_o his_o life_n by_o his_o own_o hand_n but_o after_o he_o have_v a_o family_n viz._n have_v be_v foil_v by_o the_o lust_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n several_a time_n and_o consider_v what_o i_o shall_v do_v to_o get_v rid_v of_o those_o lust_n which_o have_v so_o often_o prevail_v over_o i_o god_n direct_v i_o to_o three_o several_a mean_n the_o one_o be_v suggest_v to_o i_o as_o i_o be_v walk_v in_o my_o garden_n and_o meditate_v on_o the_o affair_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o be_v to_o be_v more_o frequent_a in_o eye_v apply_v and_o meditate_v on_o the_o promise_n and_o the_o scripture_n which_o the_o holy_a spirit_n of_o god_n set_v before_o i_o for_o this_o end_n be_v 2_o pet._n 1._o 4._o by_o the_o precious_a promise_n give_v to_o we_o we_o escape_v the_o pollution_n that_o be_v in_o the_o world_n through_o lust_n the_o other_o be_v suggest_v to_o i_o as_o i_o be_v hear_v a_o sermon_n and_o that_o be_v to_o be_v daily_o apply_v the_o lord_n jesus_n to_o my_o soul_n ground_v on_o rom._n 13._o 13._o 14._o where_o the_o apostle_n advise_v to_o put_v on_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n as_o a_o help_n against_o chamber_v and_o wantonness_n strife_n and_o envy_v the_o three_o be_v suggest_v to_o i_o as_o i_o be_v ride_v abroad_o and_o discourse_v of_o the_o thing_n of_o god_n which_o be_v gal._n 5._o 16._o walk_v in_o the_o spirit_n and_o you_o shall_v not_o fulfil_v the_o lust_n of_o the_o flesh_n in_o pursuance_n of_o these_o mean_n for_o the_o mortify_n of_o the_o lust_n of_o the_o flesh_n i_o determine_v with_o myself_o to_o eye_n the_o promise_n of_o god_n more_o frequent_o than_o i_o have_v do_v and_o to_o that_o end_n i_o choose_v out_o some_o promise_n of_o daily_a and_o continual_a use_n and_o determine_v by_o the_o help_n of_o god_n to_o salute_v and_o embrace_v they_o once_o a_o day_n and_o not_o only_o to_o take_v a_o view_n of_o they_o myself_o but_o in_o my_o meditation_n and_o soliloquy_n to_o spread_v they_o before_o god_n and_o to_o put_v the_o lord_n in_o remembrance_n of_o they_o for_o supply_v all_o the_o want_n of_o the_o day_n i_o choose_v that_o promise_n phil._n 4._o 19_o for_o growth_n in_o grace_n hos_n 14._o 5._o for_o subdue_a my_o sin_n mic._n 7._o 19_o rom._n 6._o 14._o for_o success_n in_o my_o undertake_n ps_n 1._o 3._o for_o turn_v all_o the_o event_n of_o the_o day_n for_o good_a to_o i_o rom._n 8._o 28._o for_o the_o conversion_n and_o sanctification_n of_o my_o child_n isa_n 44._o 3._o for_o my_o yoke-fellow_n and_o servant_n and_o all_o other_o in_o my_o family_n that_o they_o may_v get_v good_a from_o i_o and_o return_v to_o god_n and_o grow_v in_o grace_n hos_n 14._o 7._o for_o sanctify_v of_o my_o affliction_n isa_n 27._o 9_o zech._n 13._o 9_o for_o audience_n of_o my_o prayer_n mic._n 7._o 7._o joh._n 14._o 13._o 14._o for_o grace_n and_o strength_n to_o manage_v all_o the_o work_n of_o the_o day_n to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n zech._n 10._o 12._o for_o protection_n from_o danger_n and_o casualty_n gen._n 15._o 1._o for_o give_v i_o eternal_a life_n in_o case_n the_o day_n shall_v bring_v death_n to_o i_o luk._n 12._o 32._o joh._n 3._o 16._o for_o counsel_n and_o direction_n in_o all_o case_n of_o difficulty_n and_o unexpected_a emergency_n isa_n 58._o 11._o ps_n 32._o 8._o i_o judge_v it_o also_o very_o conducible_a to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o my_o own_o soul_n good_a to_o manage_v all_o my_o employment_n as_o much_o as_o may_v be_v with_o a_o eye_n to_o the_o promise_n and_o as_o to_o my_o call_n when_o i_o be_o study_v to_o compose_v sermon_n deut._n 28._o 8._o when_o i_o go_v to_o preach_v math._n 28._o 19_o 20._o for_o success_n in_o my_o preach_n isa_n 56._o 8._o 65._o 23._o i_o be_v the_o more_o confirm_v in_o this_o frequent_a and_o familiar_a converse_n with_o the_o promise_n not_o only_o as_o it_o help_v on_o our_o participation_n of_o the_o divine_a nature_n and_o our_o escape_v the_o pollution_n that_o be_v in_o the_o world_n through_o lust_n but_o because_o the_o lord_n command_v we_o to_o be_v always_o mindful_a of_o his_o covenant_n 1_o chron._n 16._o 15._o and_o it_o please_v god_n to_o see_v we_o take_v hold_v of_o his_o covenant_n isa_n 56._o 4._o and_o it_o be_v for_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n 2_o cor._n 1._o 20._o i_o determine_v also_o when_o i_o shall_v feel_v the_o work_n of_o any_o lust_n present_o to_o look_v up_o to_o jesus_n christ_n it_o be_v the_o remedy_n which_o the_o holy_a ghost_n prescribe_v against_o such_o sin_n as_o do_v most_o easy_o beset_v we_o heb._n 12._o 1._o 2._o i_o have_v often_o be_v encourage_v and_o help_v in_o this_o practice_n of_o look_v unto_o jesus_n to_o subdue_v my_o sin_n from_o act._n 3._o ult_n god_n send_v his_o son_n jesus_n to_o bless_v we_o in_o turn_v we_o every_o one_o from_o his_o iniquity_n beza_n note_n upon_o that_o text_n be_v very_o good_a and_o have_v be_v of_o use_n to_o i_o viz._n that_o the_o great_a word_n for_o inquity_n signify_v the_o root_n and_o habit_n of_o sin_n i_o see_v it_o be_v my_o duty_n and_o concernment_n every_o day_n to_o be_v more_o frequent_a in_o apply_v my_o soul_n to_o christ_n and_o christ_n his_o benefit_n to_o my_o soul_n in_o pursuance_n of_o the_o 3d_o mean_n of_o mortification_n viz._n walk_v in_o the_o spirit_n i_o resolve_v to_o endeavour_v to_o do_v my_o work_n and_o duty_n both_o to_o god_n and_o man_n more_o spiritual_o and_o in_o order_n hereunto_o to_o reduce_v my_o act_n to_o some_o word_n and_o as_o oft_o as_o i_o can_v to_o eye_n some_o word_n of_o god_n as_o i_o be_v enter_v on_o they_o as_o for_o instance_n if_o i_o be_v call_v out_o by_o other_o or_o stir_v up_o in_o my_o own_o spirit_n to_o visit_v the_o sick_a or_o any_o afflict_a person_n to_o have_v my_o thought_n on_o math._n 25._o 36._o or_o jam._n 1._o 27._o when_o any_o poor_a people_n come_v to_o i_o for_o relief_n or_o any_o object_n of_o charity_n be_v present_v to_o i_o to_o eye_n gal._n 6._o 10._o or_o hebr._n 13._o 16._o or_o isa_n 58._o 10._o or_o eccl._n 11._o 1._o or_o prov_fw-mi 19_o 17._o when_o a_o poor_a man_n come_v to_o borrow_v deut._n 15._o 7._o 8._o 10._o when_o to_o write_v letter_n take_v a_o journey_n or_o be_v any_o way_n employ_v for_o other_o gal._n 5._o 13._o phil._n 2._o 4._o when_o to_o visit_n out_o of_o courtesy_n or_o do_v any_o thing_n which_o courtesy_n require_v 1_o pet._n 3._o 8._o when_o to_o instruct_v my_o servant_n and_o child_n deut._n 6._o 7._o gen._n 18._o 19_o when_o to_o catechise_v the_o youth_n that_o come_v to_o my_o family_n joh._n 21._o 15._o prov._n 22._o 6._o when_o invite_v to_o exercise_v abroad_o among_o poor_a or_o rich_a isa_n 32._o ult_n when_o to_o administer_v a_o reproof_n leu._n 19_o 17._o when_o to_o confer_v about_o spiritual_a thing_n mal._n 3._o 17._o this_o be_v the_o wise_a and_o holy_a method_n which_o this_o faithful_a servant_n and_o soldier_n of_o jesus_n christ_n prescribe_v to_o himself_o by_o divine_a direction_n whereby_o to_o manage_v the_o spiritual_a war_n with_o the_o sin_n that_o dwell_v in_o he_o that_o he_o may_v not_o be_v overcome_v with_o it_o according_a to_o which_o he_o moreover_o charge_v himself_o with_o the_o practice_n of_o universal_a positive_a holiness_n which_o he_o thus_o record_v be_v under_o the_o rebuke_n of_o god_n chastise_v
do_v much_o encourage_v he_o to_o give_v himself_o up_o to_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o word_n 1._o the_o benefiting_a of_o his_o own_o soul_n in_o his_o meditation_n for_o preach_v for_o whilst_o he_o be_v study_v for_o other_o the_o lord_n make_v it_o a_o word_n of_o instruction_n to_o himself_o and_o he_o find_v it_o the_o best_a mean_n of_o growth_n to_o be_v water_v other_o yet_o herein_o he_o perceive_v he_o say_v great_a need_n of_o watchfulness_n and_o much_o care_n lest_o his_o heart_n shall_v put_v away_o that_o word_n from_o himself_o which_o he_o be_v press_v upon_o other_o 2._o he_o find_v his_o heart_n much_o divert_v from_o other_o study_n philosophy_n seem_v tedious_a to_o he_o he_o find_v not_o that_o satisfaction_n in_o study_v mere_a human_a author_n as_o in_o meditate_v on_o divine_a thing_n yea_o he_o think_v he_o disrelished_a all_o other_o study_n and_o they_o be_v unsavoury_a to_o he_o and_o he_o know_v not_o but_o that_o this_o may_v be_v of_o the_o lord_n thus_o to_o turn_v his_o heart_n from_o the_o one_o and_o incline_v it_o to_o the_o other_o study_n 3._o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o bless_v his_o labour_n in_o some_o measure_n and_o order_v so_o by_o his_o providence_n that_o it_o come_v to_o his_o knowledge_n as_o particular_o at_o burwell_n at_o swafham_n at_o soham_n at_o land-beech_n at_o chesterton_n in_o cambridgshire_n at_o debenham_n in_o suffolk_n at_o wethersfield_n in_o essex_n this_o be_v a_o especial_a encouragement_n to_o he_o as_o it_o may_v well_o be_v to_o pursue_v the_o ministry_n in_o the_o year_n 1654._o he_o be_v choose_v catechist_n for_o that_o year_n in_o the_o college_n in_o which_o choice_n he_o observe_v the_o special_a providence_n of_o god_n for_o whereas_o former_o the_o master_n use_v to_o nominate_v the_o fellow_n for_o such_o office_n as_o they_o shall_v bear_v he_o this_o year_n bid_v the_o fellow_n agree_v and_o choose_v among_o themselves_o which_o they_o do_v according_a to_o 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it_o his_o soul_n be_v much_o warm_v at_o this_o sermon_n and_o consider_v the_o seasonableness_n of_o it_o he_o look_v upon_o this_o word_n as_o direct_v special_o to_o himself_o and_o take_v encouragement_n from_o it_o to_o proceed_v in_o his_o work_n this_o practice_n of_o his_o be_v a_o proof_n not_o only_o of_o his_o ability_n but_o of_o his_o willingness_n also_o and_o that_o laborious_o to_o serve_v god_n in_o the_o work_n of_o the_o ministry_n about_o easter_n follow_v a_o motion_n be_v make_v to_o he_o by_o one_o of_o st._n andrews_n parish_n in_o cambridge_n in_o the_o name_n of_o the_o rest_n to_o supply_v that_o place_n which_o he_o decline_v promise_v only_o to_o give_v they_o one_o sermon_n afterwards_o the_o motion_n be_v more_o importunate_o renew_v to_o he_o he_o advise_v they_o to_o seek_v god_n to_o direct_v they_o in_o a_o business_n of_o that_o concern_v commend_v to_o they_o other_o of_o great_a ability_n and_o grace_n than_o himself_o to_o make_v choice_n of_o tell_v they_o he_o will_v at_o that_o time_n neither_o deny_v nor_o promise_v any_o thing_n about_o six_o week_n after_o 8_o or_o 9_o of_o the_o parish_n come_v to_o he_o in_o the_o name_n of_o the_o whole_a and_o signify_v to_o he_o that_o it_o be_v their_o joint_a request_n that_o he_o will_v preach_v with_o they_o on_o the_o lord_n day_n in_o the_o forenoon_n whereupon_o after_o a_o fortnight_n consideration_n and_o seek_v of_o god_n and_o consult_v friend_n he_o comply_v with_o their_o desire_n and_o undertake_v that_o service_n here_o god_n so_o bless_v his_o ministry_n both_o to_o the_o student_n in_o the_o university_n and_o people_n of_o the_o town_n that_o his_o encouragement_n be_v very_o great_a for_o which_o he_o always_o bless_v god_n in_o the_o college_n he_o so_o well_o discharge_v his_o office_n that_o the_o year_n now_o expire_a he_o be_v again_o choose_v into_o the_o same_o office_n next_o year_n and_o now_o be_v satisfy_v that_o god_n do_v call_v he_o to_o this_o 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that_o put_v it_o up_o acknowledge_v that_o he_o have_v long_o lie_v under_o the_o guilt_n of_o a_o know_a sin_n and_o be_v convince_v of_o it_o by_o the_o morning_n sermon_n and_o desire_a prayer_n to_o god_n for_o help_v against_o it_o other_o also_o in_o that_o congregation_n he_o observe_v to_o be_v affect_v at_o that_o his_o first_o sermon_n after_o his_o ordination_n in_o his_o return_v from_o london_n to_o cambridge_n upon_o the_o way_n he_o experience_v a_o very_a good_a providence_n with_o which_o his_o heart_n be_v much_o affect_v and_o which_o he_o thankful_o record_v as_o a_o instance_n of_o god_n special_a care_n of_o he_o the_o night_n overtake_v he_o ere_o he_o can_v reach_v to_o haste_v mill_n where_o the_o water_n be_v very_o high_a by_o reason_n of_o a_o flood_n just_a as_o he_o come_v almost_o to_o the_o water_n a_o man_n meet_v he_o who_o know_v the_o danger_n of_o the_o water_n and_o the_o safe_a passage_n through_o it_o offer_v he_o his_o service_n and_o very_o kind_o lend_v he_o his_o own_o tall_a and_o strong_a horse_n and_o ride_v back_o again_o on_o his_o horse_n before_o he_o lead_v he_o safe_o through_o which_o else_o he_o perceive_v he_o can_v not_o have_v pass_v without_o the_o hazard_n of_o his_o life_n be_v now_o return_v to_o cambridge_n to_o the_o charge_n he_o have_v undertake_v with_o what_o conscience_n faithfulness_n zeal_n and_o industry_n he_o apply_v himself_o to_o the_o work_n to_o which_o he_o have_v devote_v himself_o and_o be_v now_o solemn_o set_v apart_o i_o leave_v to_o the_o pious_a reader_n to_o judge_v by_o what_o follow_v in_o his_o own_o word_n july_n 7_o the_o 1656._o i_o set_v apart_o that_o day_n for_o fast_v and_o prayer_n to_o seek_v the_o lord_n for_o counsel_n whether_o i_o shall_v
herein_o shall_v be_v that_o he_o water_v i_o so_o much_o but_o that_o i_o shall_v water_v other_o 2._o i_o have_v find_v god_n own_v i_o when_o i_o close_v with_o the_o like_a motion_n at_o other_o time_n particular_o in_o the_o afternoon_n exercise_n i_o have_v find_v god_n wonderful_o gracious_a beyond_o expression_n and_o i_o hearty_o bless_v god_n that_o put_v it_o into_o my_o heart_n to_o undertake_v that_o work_n and_o see_v when_o i_o follow_v god_n former_o he_o be_v with_o i_o why_o shall_v i_o not_o be_v obedient_a to_o his_o call_n in_o this_o also_o 3._o it_o be_v the_o work_n i_o have_v be_v set_v apart_o to_o and_o solemn_o give_v up_o myself_o to_o in_o the_o face_n of_o the_o congregation_n at_o blackfriar_n and_o therefore_o now_o there_o be_v a_o necessity_n lie_v upon_o i_o to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n yea_o a_o woe_n if_o i_o preach_v not_o 1_o cor._n 9_o 16._o 4._o god_n have_v make_v my_o service_n here_o accept_v of_o the_o saint_n and_o therefore_o it_o be_v likely_a my_o ministry_n may_v be_v more_o effectual_a it_o may_v be_v elsewhere_o my_o ministry_n may_v be_v as_o much_o despise_v as_o here_o it_o be_v embrace_v and_o therefore_o it_o be_v good_a to_o take_v the_o present_a season_n and_o to_o strike_v where_o and_o when_o the_o iron_n be_v hot_a 5._o the_o time_n be_v short_a that_o i_o have_v to_o live_v how_o soon_o god_n many_o take_v i_o hence_o i_o know_v not_o and_o there_o be_v no_o work_n in_o the_o grave_n i_o be_o command_v to_o do_v what_o my_o hand_n find_v to_o do_v with_o my_o might_n eccl._n 9_o 10._o the_o night_n come_v when_o no_o man_n can_v work_v and_o therefore_o as_o christ_n say_v joh._n 9_o 4._o i_o must_v work_v the_o work_n of_o he_o that_o send_v i_o while_o it_o be_v day_n so_o must_v i_o do_v learn_v this_o wisdom_n of_o he_o to_o do_v my_o work_n as_o fast_o as_o i_o can_v see_v i_o know_v not_o how_o short_a my_o day_n may_v be_v 6._o the_o time_n be_v evil_a and_o i_o know_v not_o how_o soon_o we_o may_v be_v cut_v short_a of_o these_o opportunity_n and_o it_o be_v a_o express_a command_n that_o we_o shall_v be_v wise_a and_o redeem_v time_n eph._n 5._o 15._o 16._o and_o god_n command_v as_o we_o have_v opportunity_n to_o do_v good_a to_o all_o gal._n 6._o 10._o preach_v of_o the_o gospel_n be_v do_v good_a and_o here_o be_v a_o opportunity_n i_o must_v not_o let_v it_o slip_v 7._o if_o i_o shall_v preach_v once_o a_o fortnight_n on_o the_o weekday_n it_o will_v but_o be_v equivalent_a to_o preach_v twice_o every_o lord_n day_n see_v now_o i_o preach_v but_o once_o every_o other_o sabbath_n which_o must_v be_v my_o work_n when_o i_o come_v into_o the_o country_n and_o yet_o my_o work_n here_o be_v far_o light_a than_o it_o will_v be_v there_o for_o here_o i_o be_o free_a from_o worldly_a care_n family_n distraction_n and_o a_o pastoral_a charge_n 8._o one_o soul_n be_v more_o worth_a than_o the_o whole_a world_n and_o the_o preach_n of_o the_o gospel_n be_v the_o power_n of_o god_n to_o salvation_n therefore_o we_o shall_v not_o think_v any_o pain_n too_o great_a to_o preach_v the_o word_n see_v we_o may_v through_o god_n be_v a_o mean_a to_o convert_v and_o save_v soul_n thereby_o 9_o christ_n charge_v peter_n as_o he_o love_v he_o to_o feed_v his_o sheep_n and_o lamb_n joh._n 21._o 15_o 16_o 17._o his_o repeat_v this_o 3_o time_n argue_v 1._o that_o he_o will_v have_v he_o very_o diligent_a in_o do_v it_o 2._o that_o he_o take_v it_o as_o a_o real_a demonstration_n of_o love_n to_o he_o to_o feed_v his_o sheep_n now_o i_o have_v wonderful_a cause_n to_o love_n christ_n and_o good_a reason_n to_o demonstrate_v it_o that_o way_n which_o he_o will_v have_v i_o 10._o if_o i_o enter_v upon_o preach_v on_o weekday_n too_o i_o see_v it_o will_v make_v for_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n joh._n 15._o 8._o god_n be_v glorify_v when_o we_o bear_v much_o fruit_n and_o for_o the_o good_a and_o edification_n of_o other_o for_o the_o body_n of_o christ_n be_v edify_v by_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o word_n eph._n 4._o 11_o 12._o and_o why_o shall_v i_o stand_v dispute_v that_o which_o may_v make_v for_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o the_o good_a of_o those_o among_o who_o i_o live_v 11._o god_n will_v have_v every_o man_n observe_v his_o proper_a gift_n and_o improve_v they_o and_o attend_v his_o proper_a work_n that_o he_o be_v call_v to_o with_o diligence_n rom._n 12._o 6_o 7_o 8_o 11._o 12._o i_o have_v naturally_n a_o slothful_a spirit_n and_o one_o good_a way_n to_o master_n it_o be_v to_o take_v up_o much_o employment_n 13._o god_n will_v have_v we_o always_o to_o abound_v in_o his_o work_n and_o be_v steadfast_a and_o he_o tell_v we_o our_o labour_n shall_v not_o be_v in_o vain_a 1_o cor._n 15._o ult_n 14._o no_o excuse_n must_v hinder_v we_o now_o from_o do_v good_a but_o what_o will_v serve_v turn_n at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n i_o consider_v further_o that_o the_o word_n of_o god_n be_v to_o be_v the_o rule_n by_o which_o we_o must_v walk_v psal_n 119._o 105._o that_o be_v the_o light_n of_o our_o path_n what_o the_o word_n require_v of_o we_o god_n require_v of_o we_o what_o work_v the_o word_n call_v we_o to_o that_o god_n call_v we_o to_o now_o consider_v with_o myself_o the_o aforesaid_a particular_n according_a to_o the_o word_n of_o god_n i_o gather_v it_o be_v the_o mind_n of_o god_n i_o shall_v close_v with_o this_o motion_n and_o that_o he_o call_v i_o to_o further_a work_n and_o so_o according_o i_o be_o to_o obey_v his_o voice_n now_o in_o regard_n that_o it_o be_v god_n presence_n with_o i_o his_o own_n accept_v and_o assist_v i_o that_o must_v bear_v i_o up_o against_o all_o difficulty_n that_o i_o shall_v meet_v with_o i_o consult_v further_o with_o the_o word_n to_o see_v what_o ground_n i_o have_v to_o expect_v that_o god_n will_v be_v with_o i_o in_o my_o undertake_n and_o i_o see_v great_a encouragement_n from_o these_o scripture_n mat._n 28._o 19_o 20._o go_v teach_v lo_o i_o be_o with_o you_o always_o christ_n will_v not_o withdraw_v his_o presence_n at_o any_o time_n when_o we_o go_v about_o to_o teach_v in_o obedience_n to_o his_o command_n but_o will_v be_v always_o with_o we_o 1_o chron._n 28._o 10_o 20._o compare_v whence_o i_o observe_v when_o god_n call_v a_o man_n out_o to_o any_o work_n he_o will_v have_v he_o be_v strong_a and_o do_v it_o and_o not_o to_o fear_v or_o be_v dismay_v for_o god_n will_v be_v with_o he_o and_o not_o fail_v he_o or_o forsake_v he_o till_o he_o have_v finish_v it_o josh_n 1._o 9_o have_v not_o i_o command_v thou_o the_o lord_n thy_o god_n be_v with_o thou_o whithersoever_o thou_o go_v the_o same_o presence_n and_o assistance_n may_v we_o expect_v from_o god_n when_o ever_o he_o call_v we_o out_o to_o any_o service_n which_o i_o gather_v from_o the_o apostle_n apply_v to_o all_o christian_n what_o god_n speak_v in_o particularto_fw-la josh_n heb._n 13._o 5._o isa_n 42._o 6._o i_o the_o lord_n have_v call_v thou_o i_o will_v hold_v thy_o hand_n it_o be_v speak_v to_o christ_n and_o shall_v be_v make_v good_a to_o all_o christian_n when_o call_v by_o god_n to_o any_o work_n he_o will_v uphold_v they_o in_o it_o and_o he_o who_o god_n uphold_v shall_v not_o fail_v or_o be_v discourage_v till_o his_o work_n be_v do_v v_o 1._o 4_o judg._n 6._o 12._o 14._o the_o lord_n be_v with_o thou_o thou_o mighty_a man_n go_v in_o this_o thy_o might_n thou_o shall_v save_v israel_n have_v not_o i_o send_v thou_o in_o this_o thy_o might_n i._n e._n either_o in_o the_o strength_n of_o the_o promise_n the_o lord_n be_v with_o thou_o or_o in_o the_o strength_n of_o thy_o commission_n i_o have_v send_v thou_o do_v thou_o doubt_v whether_o i_o will_v be_v with_o thou_o see_v i_o have_v send_v thou_o do_v thou_o doubt_v whether_o thou_o shall_v save_v israel_n see_v i_o have_v send_v thou_o i_o see_v hence_o the_o call_v of_o god_n to_o any_o service_n be_v a_o great_a encouragement_n to_o set_v upon_o it_o and_o to_o expect_v success_n in_o it_o '_o discouragement_n remove_v 1._o reproach_n of_o man_n what_o will_v man_n say_v or_o think_v that_o i_o be_o so_o forward_o they_o will_v impute_v it_o to_o pride_n it_o etc._n etc._n and_o say_v i_o be_o imprudent_a and_o will_v may_v be_v laugh_v and_o jeer_v at_o i_o reply_v 1_o i_o be_o not_o to_o be_v ashamed_a of_o the_o gospel_n of_o christ_n rom._n 1._o 16._o no_o not_o in_o a_o adulterous_a generation_n mar._n 8._o 38._o if_o i_o can_v suffer_v shame_n for_o christ_n how_o shall_v i_o
my_o spirit_n from_o those_o word_n of_o the_o prophet_n isa_n 40._o 27._o why_o say_v thou_o o_o jacob_n and_o speak_v o_o israel_n my_o way_n be_v hide_v from_o the_o lord_n and_o my_o judgement_n be_v pass_v over_o from_o my_o god_n and_o do_v encourage_v my_o soul_n still_o to_o hope_v in_o god_n and_o wait_v for_o his_o strength_n from_o the_o follow_a word_n v_o 28_o 29._o 31._o have_v thou_o not_o know_v have_v thou_o not_o hear_v if_o thou_o have_v not_o know_v it_o by_o experience_n have_v find_v his_o everlasting_a arm_n under_o thou_o for_o thy_o support_n yet_o have_v thou_o not_o at_o least_o hear_v it_o that_o the_o everlasting_a god_n the_o lord_n the_o creator_n of_o the_o end_n of_o the_o earth_n faint_v not_o neither_o be_v weary_a he_o give_v power_n to_o the_o faint_a etc._n etc._n continue_v thou_o therefore_o o_o my_o soul_n to_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n lord_n what_o a_o accurse_a hard_a heart_n have_v i_o that_o sin_n which_o grieve_v thou_o gen._n 6._o 6._o thy_n son_n mar._n 3._o 5._o thy_o spirit_n eph._n 4._o 30._o shall_v not_o grieve_v i_o that_o sin_n which_o weary_v thou_o isa_n 43._o 24._o shall_v not_o be_v a_o burden_n to_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v trouble_v for_o want_v of_o thy_o presence_n when_o as_o the_o hide_v of_o thy_o face_n make_v our_o saviour_n cry_v out_o my_o god_n my_o god_n why_o have_v thou_o forsake_v i_o that_o eternity_n and_o judgement_n to_o come_v shall_v make_v no_o impression_n upon_o i_o that_o i_o can_v hear_v yea_o speak_v of_o thy_o word_n thy_o wrath_n etc._n etc._n and_o yet_o not_o fear_v thou_o not_o tremble_v at_o thy_o word_n nor_o at_o this_o my_o condition_n feb._n 19_o be_v sabbath_n day_n have_v former_o perceive_v a_o desperate_a hardness_n in_o my_o heart_n that_o that_o word_n which_o work_v upon_o other_o shall_v do_v i_o no_o good_a that_o no_o mean_n no_o mercy_n do_v melt_v my_o soul_n and_o almost_o despair_v of_o ever_o have_v it_o soften_v after_o prayer_n i_o be_v encourage_v from_o the_o lord_n in_o read_v mr._n hooker_n upon_o act._n 2._o 37._o who_o from_o those_o word_n when_o they_o hear_v these_o thing_n they_o who_o have_v crucify_a our_o lord_n christ_n be_v prick_v at_o the_o heart_n raise_v this_o observation_n it_o be_v possible_a even_o for_o the_o most_o stubborn_a sinner_n to_o get_v a_o break_a heart_n and_o now_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o be_v thou_o cast_v down_o be_v not_o the_o lord_n great_a than_o thy_o heart_n can_v satan_n be_v more_o malicious_a to_o destroy_v thou_o than_o the_o lord_n be_v merciful_a to_o save_v thou_o yet_o the_o act_n of_o my_o faith_n hereupon_o be_v but_o faint_a upon_o examination_n of_o myself_o i_o have_v sometime_o find_v that_o to_o my_o own_o sense_n and_o feeling_n i_o have_v be_v altogether_o void_a of_o any_o love_n or_o fear_v of_o god_n and_o that_o i_o have_v be_v at_o such_o a_o time_n as_o unable_a to_o work_v up_o my_o heart_n into_o the_o love_n and_o fear_n of_o god_n as_o to_o say_v to_o this_o mountain_n be_v thou_o remove_v and_o cast_v into_o the_o sea_n such_o wonderful_a deadness_n have_v seize_v upon_o my_o soul_n so_o great_o have_v i_o be_v enslave_v and_o hold_v captive_a by_o satan_n that_o i_o have_v not_o be_v able_a true_o to_o desire_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n o_o that_o my_o heart_n can_v bleed_v at_o the_o remembrance_n of_o this_o great_a evil_n that_o i_o shall_v not_o only_o be_v cut_v off_o from_o communion_n with_o god_n but_o be_v content_v with_o this_o condition_n that_o i_o shall_v have_v no_o groan_n in_o spirit_n to_o be_v deliver_v from_o this_o miserable_a bondage_n be_v instruct_v hence_o o_o my_o soul_n to_o ascribe_v every_o good_a motion_n to_o god_n if_o thou_o feel_v any_o hungring_n after_o jesus_n christ_n or_o any_o sorrow_n for_o want_n of_o god_n presence_n or_o the_o like_a own_o it_o as_o his_o work_n and_o bless_v he_o for_o it_o i_o have_v sometime_o find_v my_o condition_n much_o like_o the_o man_n mention_v joh._n 5._o who_o lay_v a_o long_a time_n by_o the_o pool_n of_o bethesda_n but_o be_v not_o able_a to_o put_v himself_o in_o that_o he_o may_v be_v heal_v even_o so_o it_o be_v with_o my_o soul_n though_o god_n have_v open_v a_o fountain_n for_o sin_n and_o for_o uncleanness_n to_o wash_v in_o and_o i_o find_v my_o soul_n exceed_o pollute_v yet_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o step_v into_o this_o fountain_n that_o i_o may_v be_v heal_v o_o my_o soul_n the_o lord_n see_v thy_o weakness_n and_o that_o thou_o have_v be_v now_o a_o long_a time_n in_o this_o case_n wait_v thou_o on_o god_n who_o can_v tell_v but_o that_o as_o the_o bowel_n of_o jesus_n christ_n do_v yearn_v towards_o the_o poor_a man_n so_o may_v his_o compassion_n be_v great_a towards_o thou_o and_o he_o may_v heal_v thou_o also_o cease_v not_o to_o importune_v he_o say_v jesus_n thou_o son_n of_o god_n have_v mercy_n on_o i_o o_o lord_n heal_v my_o soul_n have_v at_o several_a time_n find_v diverse_a work_n upon_o my_o heart_n as_o conviction_n and_o thereupon_o some_o pant_n and_o breathe_n after_o god_n but_o as_o yet_o nothing_o come_v to_o perfection_n i_o think_v of_o and_o find_v that_o i_o have_v cause_n to_o take_v up_o the_o complaint_n of_o hezekiah_n in_o another_o case_n it_o be_v a_o day_n of_o trouble_n and_o rebuke_v the_o child_n be_v come_v to_o the_o birth_n and_o there_o be_v no_o strength_n to_o bring_v forth_o isa_n 37._o 3._o some_o time_n after_o read_v isa_n 66._o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o that_o word_n v._n 9_o be_v suit_v to_o my_o case_n shall_v i_o bring_v to_o the_o birth_n and_o not_o cause_n to_o bring_v forth_o say_v the_o lord_n shall_v i_o cause_v to_o bring_v forth_o and_o shut_v the_o womb_n say_v thy_o god_n o_o my_o soul_n wait_v thou_o on_o god_n who_o will_v perfect_v his_o own_o work_n in_o thou_o he_o have_v say_v he_o will_v not_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n nor_o quench_v the_o smoke_a flax_n till_o he_o send_v forth_o judgement_n unto_o victory_n i_o have_v ofttimes_o see_v a_o law_n in_o my_o member_n war_a against_o the_o law_n of_o my_o mind_n and_o lead_v i_o into_o captivity_n to_o the_o law_n of_o sin_n and_o death_n so_o powerful_a and_o mighty_a have_v be_v the_o act_n of_o some_o inward_a corruption_n that_o i_o have_v not_o be_v able_a to_o overcome_v they_o but_o have_v be_v hurry_v captive_a by_o they_o hereby_o i_o come_v to_o see_v that_o truth_n the_o heart_n of_o man_n be_v desperate_o wicked_a who_o can_v know_v it_o i_o can_v fathom_v the_o depth_n of_o iniquity_n which_o be_v in_o my_o heart_n hereupon_o i_o be_o make_v to_o cry_v out_o with_o st._n paul_n o_o wretched_a man_n that_o i_o be_o who_o shall_v deliver_v i_o from_o this_o body_n of_o death_n o_o lord_n be_v not_o thou_o far_o from_o i_o but_o make_v haste_n to_o help_v i_o let_v the_o sigh_v of_o the_o prisoner_n come_v before_o thou_o proclaim_v liberty_n to_o thy_o captive_n and_o the_o open_n of_o the_o prison_n door_n to_o he_o that_o be_v bind_v with_o the_o chain_n of_o sin_n isa_n 61._o 1._o mar._n 26._o 1654._o i_o find_v that_o though_o in_o my_o judgement_n and_o profession_n i_o acknowledge_v christ_n to_o be_v my_o righteousness_n and_o peace_n yet_o upon_o examination_n i_o observe_v that_o my_o heart_n have_v do_v quite_o another_o thing_n and_o that_o secret_o i_o have_v go_v about_o to_o establish_v my_o own_o righteousness_n and_o have_v derive_v my_o comfort_n and_o peace_n from_o my_o own_o act_n for_o when_o i_o have_v be_v disquiet_v by_o the_o act_n of_o my_o sin_n that_o which_o have_v recover_v i_o to_o my_o former_a peace_n have_v not_o be_v that_o i_o can_v find_v god_n speak_v peace_n through_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n but_o rather_o from_o the_o intermission_n of_o temptation_n and_o the_o cessation_n of_o those_o sin_n when_o i_o have_v be_v trouble_v at_o a_o evil_a frame_n of_o heart_n i_o do_v not_o find_v that_o the_o righteousness_n of_o christ_n have_v be_v my_o consolation_n but_o that_o which_o have_v relieve_v i_o as_o far_o as_o i_o can_v find_v be_v that_o afterward_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o a_o better_a temper_n have_v be_v in_o trouble_n and_o perplexity_n i_o have_v read_v the_o scripture_n go_v to_o prayer_n and_o in_o do_v these_o i_o have_v be_v relieve_v yet_o i_o do_v not_o find_v that_o at_o such_o time_n i_o have_v real_a true_a live_a communion_n with_o god_n in_o such_o duty_n or_o that_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n do_v in_o those_o duty_n reveal_v to_o i_o my_o interest_n in_o christ_n and_o so_o quiet_a my_o conscience_n hence_o i_o come_v to_o see_v
but_o of_o god_n joh._n 1._o 13._o and_o that_o god_n give_v power_n to_o the_o faint_a and_o strength_n to_o they_o that_o have_v no_o might_n in_o a_o way_n of_o wait_a isa_n 40._o 29_o 31._o i_o see_v from_o these_o consideration_n further_a ground_n of_o hope_n and_o wait_v upon_o god_n notwithstanding_o i_o find_v my_o strength_n perish_v from_o i_o neither_o shall_v the_o guilt_n of_o my_o sin_n discourage_v i_o from_o wait_v on_o god_n from_o expect_v of_o his_o holy_a spirit_n from_o go_v to_o christ_n the_o whole_a need_v not_o a_o physician_n christ_n deal_v with_o sinner_n mar._n 2._o 17._o he_o have_v say_v he_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v out_o they_o that_o come_v to_z him_z joh._n 6._o 37._o why_o do_v he_o shed_v his_o blood_n to_o wash_v away_o our_o sin_n how_o be_v he_o the_o lamb_n of_o god_n that_o take_v away_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o world_n if_o he_o shall_v cast_v off_o guilty_a soul_n when_o they_o come_v unto_o he_o be_v there_o not_o a_o fountain_n open_v for_o sin_n and_o for_o uncleanness_n to_o wash_v in_o zach._n 13._o 1._o what_o though_o i_o be_v in_o my_o blood_n yet_o if_o i_o go_v to_o christ_n he_o will_v not_o loathe_v i_o ezek._n 16._o 6_o 8._o but_o will_v sprinkle_v clean_a water_n upon_o i_o and_o wash_v i_o from_o my_o filthiness_n ezek._n 36._o 25._o when_o therefore_o i_o find_v guilt_n upon_o i_o i_o will_v look_v to_o jesus_n christ_n in_o such_o promise_n as_o these_o isa_n 1._o 18._o 43._o 25_o 26._o 44._o 21_o 22._o i_o will_v cry_v unto_o he_o that_o i_o may_v have_v the_o pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n seal_v up_o to_o my_o soul_n in_o these_o promise_n by_o his_o holy_a spirit_n neither_o shall_v my_o rebellious_a heart_n the_o perverseness_n and_o corruption_n of_o my_o nature_n discourage_v i_o but_o i_o will_v with_o david_n beg_v a_o new_a heart_n and_o a_o right_a spirit_n ps_n 51._o 10._o i_o will_v say_v as_o ephraim_n jer._n 31._o 18._o turn_v thou_o i_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v turn_v god_n have_v send_v christ_n to_o bless_v we_o in_o turn_v we_o from_o our_o iniquity_n act._n 3._o 26._o and_o to_o destroy_v what_o satan_n have_v wrought_v in_o we_o 1._o joh._n 3._o 8._o therefore_o when_o i_o feel_v sin_n prevail_v and_o lead_v i_o captive_a i_o will_v with_o paul_n cry_v out_o of_o this_o body_n of_o death_n rom._n 7._o 24._o and_o go_v to_o god_n in_o jesus_n christ_n through_o such_o promise_n as_o these_o mic._n 7._o 18_o 19_o rom._n 6._o 14._o math._n 11._o 28._o isa_n 45._o 22._o jer._n 31._o 33._o ezek._n 36._o 26._o when_o i_o feel_v myself_o graceless_a i_o will_v look_v to_o he_o who_o be_v full_a of_o grace_n joh._n 1._o 14._o 16._o and_o have_v promise_v to_o give_v grace_n ps_n 84._o 11_o even_o a_o heart_n to_o love_v he_o deut._n 30._o 6._o and_o to_o put_v his_o fear_n into_o we_o jer._n 32._o 40._o and_o to_o withhold_v no_o good_a thing_n if_o we_o endeavour_v to_o walk_v upright_o before_o he_o ps_n 84._o 11._o when_o i_o find_v the_o plague_n of_o a_o hard_a dead_a heart_n upon_o i_o i_o will_v look_v unto_o the_o lord_n who_o quicken_v the_o dead_a rom._n 4._o 17._o and_o can_v raise_v child_n to_o abraham_n out_o of_o stone_n math._n 3._o 9_o i_o will_v look_v unto_o he_o in_o his_o covenant_n promise_v to_o take_v away_o the_o heart_n of_o stone_n and_o to_o give_v a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n ezek._n 36._o 26._o in_o time_n of_o desertion_n when_o god_n withdraw_v the_o comfortable_a influence_n of_o his_o presence_n i_o will_v not_o be_v discourage_v but_o i_o will_v search_v my_o heart_n and_o try_v my_o way_n and_o see_v what_o cause_n i_o have_v give_v the_o lord_n to_o depart_v from_o i_o lam._n 3._o 40._o josh_n 7._o 11._o 12_o 13._o isa_n 59_o 2._o i_o will_v earnest_o seek_v the_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v return_v and_o shine_v upon_o i_o and_o lift_v up_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n upon_o my_o soul_n ps_n 80._o 3._o 89._o 46._o hos_fw-la 5._o 15._o i_o will_v not_o only_o pray_v but_o wait_v for_o his_o return_n ps_n 130._o 5_o 6._o isa_n 8._o 17._o lam._n 3._o 2_o 3._o etc._n etc._n with_o 26._o and_o in_o wait_v i_o will_v look_v unto_o the_o lord_n in_o these_o or_o like_a promise_n ps_n 103._o 8_o 9_o isa_n 54._o 6_o 7_o 8._o 57_o 16_o 17_o 18._o lam._n 3._o 31_o 32._o hos_fw-la 6._o 1_o 2_o 3._o joh._n 14._o 18._o when_o i_o have_v neglect_v my_o watch_n and_o fall_v and_o be_v unsteadfast_a in_o covenant_n with_o god_n i_o will_v not_o despair_v but_o look_v to_o god_n in_o christ_n that_o he_o will_v pardon_v my_o sin_n grant_v i_o repentance_n and_o restore_v i_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n admit_v of_o repentance_n after_o sin_n levit._n 26._o 21._o 40._o 41_o 42._o yea_o god_n have_v exalt_v christ_n to_o give_v repentance_n act._n 5._o 31._o have_v promise_v to_o heal_v backslide_n hos_fw-la 14._o 4._o invite_v backslider_n to_o return_v jer._n 3._o 1_o 12_o 13_o 14._o how_o do_v david_n behave_v himself_o when_o iniquity_n prevail_v over_o he_o he_o go_v to_o god_n to_o purge_v away_o his_o transgression_n ps_n 65._o 3._o he_o make_v supplication_n to_o god_n that_o he_o will_v not_o cast_v he_o out_o of_o his_o presence_n ps_n 51._o 11._o he_o confess_v his_o sin_n and_o god_n pardon_v he_o ps_n 32._o 5._o which_o shall_v encourage_v all_o the_o godly_a when_o they_o have_v fall_v to_o return_v to_o the_o lord_n ver_fw-la 6._o st._n john_n lay_v strict_a charge_n upon_o believer_n that_o they_o sin_v not_o but_o in_o case_n of_o sin_n he_o will_v not_o have_v they_o despair_v 1_o joh._n 2._o 1_o 2._o solomon_n pray_v to_o this_o purpose_n 1_o king_n 8._o and_o god_n accept_v ch_n 9_o 3._o when_o therefore_o thou_o have_v fall_v o_o my_o soul_n by_o thy_o iniquity_n and_o god_n hide_v his_o face_n and_o withdraw_v his_o gracious_a presence_n let_v thy_o uncircumcised_a heart_n be_v humble_v accept_v of_o the_o punishment_n of_o thy_o sin_n turn_v unto_o the_o lord_n and_o and_o say_v take_v away_o all_o iniquity_n and_o receive_v i_o gracious_o so_o will_v i_o praise_v thou_o leu._n 26._o 41._o hos_fw-la 14._o 2._o let_v not_o thy_o fall_n cause_v thou_o to_o depart_v from_o the_o live_n god_n though_o thou_o have_v play_v the_o harlot_n with_o many_o lover_n yet_o the_o lord_n call_v thou_o to_o return_v jer._n 3._o 1._o god_n command_v we_o to_o forgive_v our_o brother_n seven_o time_n a_o day_n if_o he_o return_v and_o repent_v luk._n 17._o 4._o yea_o not_o only_o seven_o time_n but_o seventy_o time_n seven_o math._n 18._o 21_o 22._o and_o will_v not_o god_n much_o more_o forgive_v we_o though_o we_o fall_v oft_o if_o we_o return_v and_o seek_v his_o face_n see_v his_o way_n be_v far_o above_o our_o way_n isa_n 55._o 7_o 9_o dec._n 9_o 1655._o have_v find_v much_o formality_n in_o my_o duty_n on_o the_o sabbath_n and_o see_v myself_o lose_v in_o they_o i_o put_v the_o question_n to_o my_o soul_n what_o if_o thou_o die_v this_o night_n what_o be_v thy_o hope_n how_o will_v thou_o appear_v before_o god_n righteousness_n of_o thy_o own_o thou_o have_v none_o to_o trust_v to_o thou_o see_v how_o thou_o sin_v every_o day_n and_o how_o full_a of_o sin_n thy_o best_a duty_n be_v upon_o this_o enquiry_n the_o good_a spirit_n of_o god_n bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n 1_o cor._n 1._o 30._o god_n have_v make_v christ_n righteousness_n to_o we_o and_o jer._n 23._o 6._o this_o be_v the_o name_n by_o which_o he_o shall_v be_v call_v the_o lord_n our_o righteousness_n which_o be_v comfort_n to_o i_o and_o inquire_v what_o warrant_v i_o have_v to_o believe_v myself_o to_o be_v a_o sharer_n in_o this_o righteousness_n and_o that_o i_o stand_v accept_v of_o god_n by_o virtue_n of_o this_o righteousness_n i_o see_v from_o rom._n 3._o 21_o 22._o that_o this_o righteousness_n be_v upon_o all_o that_o believe_v now_o through_o the_o lord_n goodness_n and_o to_o his_o praise_n be_v it_o speak_v i_o have_v ofttimes_o find_v my_o heart_n not_o only_o to_o long_o after_o pardon_v and_o renovation_n but_o to_o trust_v in_o christ_n and_o in_o god_n through_o he_o for_o pardon_v mercy_n and_o renew_v grace_n and_o all_o other_o good_a thing_n dec._n 16._o i_o find_v the_o lord_n gracious_o present_a with_o i_o in_o my_o morning_n meditation_n on_o my_o bed_n and_o my_o soul_n be_v much_o refresh_v with_o mr._n simond_n sermon_n god_n speak_v a_o suitable_a word_n by_o he_o to_o my_o soul_n from_o mat._n 15._o 23._o but_o he_o answer_v she_o not_o a_o word_n god_n may_v sometime_o defer_v to_o give_v a_o answer_n to_o a_o gracious_a and_o well_o qualify_v prayer_n 1._o to_o correct_v our_o
deafness_n to_o his_o voice_n 2._o to_o put_v we_o upon_o more_o earnest_n seek_v of_o he_o 3._o to_o exercise_v and_o try_v our_o grace_n god_n proportion_n mercy_n according_a to_o his_o delay_n they_o be_v the_o great_a when_o give_v in_o sarah_n tarry_v long_o for_o a_o son_n and_o then_o have_v a_o isaac_n so_o do_v hanna_n but_o then_o have_v a_o samuel_n so_o elizabeth_n but_o then_o have_v a_o john_n my_o heart_n rejoice_v at_o this_o hope_v that_o god_n will_v give_v a_o high_a degree_n of_o brokenness_n of_o heart_n in_o his_o own_o due_a time_n though_o at_o present_a my_o heart_n be_v hard_o and_o i_o remember_v how_o hard_a mr._n bradfords_n heart_n be_v once_o as_o to_o his_o own_o sense_n and_o how_o eminent_a he_o be_v afterward_o for_o tenderness_n as_o m._n fox_n relate_v god_n be_v very_o good_a this_o day_n but_o oh_o how_o vile_a and_o sinful_a be_v i_o i_o feel_v a_o very_a proud_a vainglorious_a heart_n both_o in_o hear_v and_o after_o sermon_n be_v do_v but_o the_o lord_n chastise_v i_o for_o it_o for_o at_o night_n when_o i_o preach_v in_o the_o chapel_n the_o lord_n forsake_v i_o i_o find_v no_o assistance_n of_o his_o spirit_n either_o in_o prayer_n or_o preach_v but_o be_v much_o confound_v in_o both_o have_v little_a or_o no_o sense_n of_o the_o thing_n i_o speak_v of_o or_o pray_v for_o we_o read_v of_o naaman_n 2_o king_n 5._o 11._o that_o he_o expect_v a_o miraculous_a way_n of_o cure_n i_o think_v say_v he_o he_o will_v sure_o come_v out_o and_o stand_v and_o call_v on_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n his_o god_n and_o strike_v his_o hand_n over_o the_o place_n and_o recover_v the_o leper_n so_o have_v i_o find_v myself_o apt_a to_o expect_v that_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n shall_v mortify_v and_o subdue_v sin_n in_o i_o without_o my_o strive_v against_o it_o but_o i_o have_v learn_v it_o be_v the_o will_n of_o god_n that_o i_o shall_v strive_v against_o sin_n as_o well_o as_o pray_v and_o wait_v for_o his_o spirit_n god_n work_v in_o we_o to_o will_v and_o to_o do_v exclude_v not_o our_o endeavour_v phil._n 2._o 12_o 13._o have_v promise_n let_v we_o cleanse_v ourselves_o 2_o cor._n 7._o 1._o octob._n 17._o i_o be_v immoderate_a in_o the_o use_n of_o the_o creature_n and_o though_o check_v and_o reprove_v from_o within_o yet_o i_o persist_v at_o night_n when_o i_o walk_v in_o my_o chamber_n consider_v what_o i_o have_v do_v i_o be_v sad_a and_o say_v to_o god_n lord_n i_o have_v rebel_v against_o thou_o i_o have_v no_o soon_o say_v it_o in_o my_o heart_n but_o immediate_o that_o word_n be_v bring_v to_o i_o dan._n 9_o 9_o to_o the_o lord_n our_o god_n belong_v mercy_n and_o forgiveness_n he_o will_v forgive_v again_o and_o again_o though_o we_o have_v rebel_v against_o he_o o_o the_o wonderful_a goodness_n of_o god_n be_v amaze_v o_o my_o soul_n at_o this_o love_n now_o i_o see_v the_o promise_n isa_n 65._o 24._o before_o they_o call_v i_o will_v answer_v and_o whilst_o they_o be_v yet_o speak_v i_o will_v hear_v make_v good_a to_o i_o in_o the_o evening_n on_o my_o bed_n consider_v on_o this_o love_n of_o god_n whence_o it_o shall_v come_v to_o pass_v that_o the_o lord_n shall_v deal_v thus_o gracious_o with_o i_o it_o be_v answer_v i_o from_o mic._n 7._o 18._o he_o pass_v by_o the_o transgression_n of_o the_o remnant_n of_o his_o heritage_n because_o he_o delight_v in_o mercy_n next_o morning_n at_o my_o first_o awake_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n bring_v that_o scripture_n into_o my_o thought_n ps_n 65._o 3._o iniquity_n prevail_v against_o i_o as_o for_o our_o transgression_n thou_o shall_v purge_v they_o away_o it_o come_v to_o i_o with_o some_o life_n and_o power_n and_o be_v very_o suitable_a to_o my_o condition_n oh_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n the_o riches_n of_o his_o grace_n that_o he_o shall_v so_o soon_o come_v into_o my_o relief_n and_o raise_v my_o soul_n by_o his_o promise_n this_o be_v mercy_n never_o to_o be_v forget_v sept._n 28._o in_o meditation_n i_o find_v the_o lord_n draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n to_o close_v with_o christ_n i_o be_v convince_v that_o god_n be_v willing_a to_o bestow_v his_o son_n upon_o i_o because_o he_o do_v not_o only_o invite_v i_o isa_n 55._o 1._o and_o command_v i_o 1_o joh._n 3._o 23._o but_o even_o beseech_v and_o entreat_v i_o to_o receive_v christ_n 2_o cor._n 5._o 20._o i_o be_v further_o convince_v of_o god_n real_a intention_n and_o willingness_n to_o give_v i_o his_o son_n from_o his_o patient_a wait_a and_o long-suffering_a in_o expect_v my_o return_n even_o after_o much_o deafness_n to_o the_o voice_n of_o his_o spirit_n and_o dally_v with_o his_o grace_n he_o still_o offer_v his_o son_n to_o i_o yea_o he_o press_v in_o upon_o i_o with_o the_o renew_n of_o good_a motion_n and_o affection_n which_o i_o have_v quench_v now_o whence_o be_v all_o this_o but_o from_o the_o love_n and_o mercy_n of_o god_n that_o he_o shall_v be_v thus_o willing_a to_o have_v i_o take_v his_o son_n now_o who_o be_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v withstand_v god_n why_o shall_v i_o forsake_v my_o own_o mercy_n lord_n thou_o have_v show_v i_o that_o my_o former_a revolting_n shall_v not_o hinder_v this_o thy_o mercy_n if_o i_o will_v acknowledge_v my_o sin_n renounce_v myself_o return_v unto_o thou_o and_o embrace_v thy_o son_n jer._n 3._o 12_o 13._o o_o lord_n i_o thankful_o accept_v thy_o offer_n of_o grace_n i_o come_v unto_o thou_o oh_o give_v i_o thy_o son_n behold_v i_o give_v thou_o myself_o let_v i_o be_v espouse_v to_o the_o lord_n jesus_n i_o be_o willing_a through_o grace_n to_o take_v up_o my_o cross_n to_o deny_v myself_o and_o to_o follow_v thou_o nou._n 1._o have_v set_v apart_o that_o day_n to_o seek_v the_o lord_n and_o to_o humble_v my_o soul_n before_o he_o i_o can_v not_o get_v my_o heart_n to_o be_v afflict_v and_o mourn_v under_o sin_n but_o find_v much_o lightness_n in_o prayer_n the_o lord_n hide_v his_o face_n and_o do_v not_o come_v in_o to_o my_o poor_a soul_n with_o his_o quicken_a presence_n so_o that_o i_o lay_v in_o a_o poor_a desolate_a forsake_a condition_n under_o much_o confusion_n yet_o in_o the_o evening_n a_o little_a before_o go_v to_o bed_n seek_v the_o lord_n again_o i_o be_v revive_v in_o read_v psal_n 40._o especial_o v_o 17._o i_o be_o poor_a and_o needy_a yet_o the_o lord_n think_v upon_o i_o etc._n etc._n and_o next_o morning_n in_o read_v psal_n 9_o 10._o 18._o thou_o lord_n have_v not_o forsake_v they_o that_o seek_v thou_o the_o needy_a shall_v not_o always_o be_v forget_v the_o expectation_n of_o the_o poor_a shall_v not_o perish_v for_o ever_o i_o be_v thereby_o encourage_v still_o to_o wait_v and_o hope_n o_o lord_n i_o have_v seek_v thou_o withhold_v not_o thou_o thy_o tender_a mercy_n from_o i_o how_o long_o will_v thou_o hide_v thy_o face_n from_o i_o o_o when_o will_v thou_o come_v unto_o i_o make_v haste_n to_o help_v i_o o_o my_o god_n i_o be_o poor_a and_o needy_a o_o let_v i_o not_o be_v forget_v for_o ever_o let_v not_o my_o expectation_n perish_v for_o ever_o and_o now_o o_o lord_n what_o be_v my_o expectation_n it_o be_v even_o this_o the_o giving_z in_o of_o mercy_n and_o grace_n through_o the_o lord_n jesus_n pardon_v mercy_n and_o renew_v grace_n it_o be_v the_o pour_v out_o of_o thy_o spirit_n the_o take_v away_o the_o heart_n of_o stone_n and_o give_v a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n it_o be_v a_o heart_n to_o know_v thou_o to_o fear_v thou_o to_o love_v thou_o and_o obey_v thou_o etc._n etc._n dec._n 6._o be_v in_o trouble_n and_o distress_n of_o spirit_n because_o the_o lord_n hide_v his_o face_n and_o withdraw_v himself_o from_o i_o i_o go_v in_o the_o poverty_n of_o my_o spirit_n to_o trinity_n lecture_n and_o with_o some_o expectation_n to_o meet_v with_o god_n in_o his_o own_o ordinance_n the_o lord_n be_v gracious_a to_o i_o and_o speak_v comfort_n to_o i_o from_o his_o word_n i_o see_v it_o be_v good_a to_o wait_v upon_o god_n though_o he_o send_v the_o rich_a empty_a away_o yet_o he_o fill_v the_o hungry_a with_o good_a thing_n my_o soul_n be_v glad_a and_o rejoice_v for_o a_o season_n but_o go_v into_o the_o country_n the_o same_o day_n among_o friend_n and_o variety_n of_o worldly_a affair_n i_o lose_v something_o of_o the_o savour_n and_o relish_v which_o the_o good_a word_n of_o god_n leave_v upon_o i_o and_o i_o find_v palpable_o my_o soul_n rest_v in_o those_o comfort_n which_o i_o have_v receive_v and_o grow_v secure_a and_o careless_a from_o whence_o the_o lord_n give_v i_o this_o instruction_n that_o i_o be_o a_o poor_a silly_a wretch_n know_v neither_o how_o
suffer_v little_a child_n to_o come_v unto_o i_o and_o from_o observe_v how_o prevalent_a faith_n and_o prayer_n be_v with_o god_n for_o the_o remission_n of_o sin_n and_o salvation_n of_o other_o as_o well_o as_o our_o own_o soul_n math._n 9_o 2._o jesus_n see_v their_o faith_n say_v son_n be_v of_o good_a cheer_n thy_o sin_n be_v forgive_v thou_o so_o 1_o joh._n 5._o 16._o if_o a_o man_n see_v his_o brother_n sin_n a_o sin_n which_o be_v not_o unto_o death_n he_o shall_v ask_v of_o god_n and_o he_o shall_v give_v he_o life_n now_o i_o considere_v that_o though_o my_o child_n have_v sin_n incident_a to_o childhood_n yet_o it_o have_v not_o sin_v the_o sin_n unto_o death_n and_o therefore_o i_o conclude_v that_o if_o i_o ask_v of_o god_n he_o will_v give_v it_o life_n jam._n 5._o 15._o the_o prayer_n of_o faith_n shall_v save_v the_o sick_a and_o if_o he_o have_v commit_v sin_n they_o shall_v be_v forgive_v he_o math._n 15._o 22_o 28._o the_o woman_n of_o canaan_n faith_n and_o prayer_n avail_v with_o christ_n for_o the_o cast_v the_o devil_n out_o of_o her_o daughter_n now_o god_n help_v i_o to_o act_v faith_n for_o my_o child_n upon_o the_o account_n of_o his_o covenant_n and_o stir_v i_o by_o his_o spirit_n often_o to_o pray_v for_o my_o child_n i_o be_v thereby_o encourage_v to_o hope_v for_o its_o salvation_n when_o my_o child_n die_v the_o same_o day_n the_o small_a pox_n begin_v to_o appear_v upon_o my_o sister_n i_o know_v not_o what_o breach_n god_n may_v be_v about_o to_o make_v in_o my_o family_n but_o as_o i_o be_v hear_v the_o word_n the_o minister_n treat_v on_o god_n intention_n to_o glorify_v himself_o by_o all_o affliction_n that_o he_o lay_v upon_o his_o people_n from_o that_o scripture_n isa_n 5._o 15_o 16._o this_o word_n satisfy_v i_o that_o whatever_o judgement_n god_n shall_v bring_v upon_o i_o or_o my_o family_n he_o will_v exalt_v and_o glorify_v his_o own_o name_n by_o they_o hereupon_o i_o submit_v and_o resign_v up_o myself_o to_o god_n to_o do_v with_o i_o and_o i_o what_o he_o please_v yet_o i_o be_v then_o under_o the_o sense_n of_o sin_n which_o weaken_v my_o faith_n and_o make_v i_o fearful_a i_o shall_v not_o bear_v up_o cheerful_o if_o i_o shall_v be_v visit_v while_o under_o the_o sense_n of_o guilt_n but_o i_o be_v much_o encourage_v in_o meditation_n from_o mic._n 7._o 8_o 9_o when_o i_o sit_v in_o darkness_n the_o lord_n will_v be_v a_o light_n unto_o i_o this_o faith_n they_o hold_v when_o their_o affliction_n be_v attend_v with_o the_o sense_n of_o sin_n for_o it_o follow_v i_o will_v bear_v the_o indignation_n of_o the_o lord_n because_o i_o have_v sin_v against_o he_o i_o be_v also_o much_o encourage_v by_o view_v the_o promise_n that_o i_o have_v collect_v to_o comfort_v myself_o with_o when_o i_o be_v in_o danger_n of_o contagious_a disease_n especial_o those_o two_o viz_o ps_n 41._o 12._o as_o for_o i_o thou_o set_v i_o before_o thy_o face_n for_o ever_o and_o this_o be_v when_o under_o a_o evil_a disease_n v_o 8_o which_o be_v the_o fruit_n of_o his_o sin_n ver_fw-la 4._o and_o ps_n 38._o 5_o 7._o my_o wound_n stink_v and_o be_v corrupt_a my_o loin_n be_v fill_v with_o a_o loathsome_a disease_n etc._n etc._n though_o in_o this_o visitation_n he_o be_v afflict_v with_o the_o sense_n of_o sin_n and_o of_o god_n displeasure_n v_o 1_o 2_o 3_o 4_o and_o be_v deprive_v of_o the_o comfortable_a society_n of_o his_o relation_n and_o friend_n v_o 11._o yet_o he_o keep_v up_o his_o hope_n in_o god_n v_o 15._o in_o a_o little_a time_n after_o i_o have_v the_o sense_n of_o guilt_n take_v off_o while_o i_o be_v study_v my_o sermon_n to_o remove_v the_o fear_n of_o death_n jun._n 12._o as_o i_o be_v read_v act._n 6._o in_o my_o evening_n course_n by_o myself_o i_o observe_v by_o compare_v ver_fw-la 4._o 7._o that_o upon_o the_o apostle_n give_v themselves_o continual_o to_o prayer_n and_o to_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o word_n the_o number_n of_o the_o disciple_n increase_v great_o in_o jerusalem_n and_o a_o great_a company_n of_o the_o priest_n be_v obedient_a to_o the_o faith_n i_o be_v instruct_v and_o affect_v with_o it_o and_o see_v it_o be_v necessary_a i_o shall_v pray_v much_o as_o well_o as_o preach_v much_o if_o i_o will_v convert_v many_o soul_n and_o that_o upon_o give_v myself_o to_o prayer_n and_o to_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o word_n i_o be_v in_o the_o most_o likely_a way_n to_o convert_v many_o soul_n to_o christ_n the_o priest_n be_v the_o chief_a opposer_n of_o the_o gospel_n act._n 4._o 1_o 2._o the_o chief_a persecuter_n of_o christ_n math._n 16._o 21._o and_o 20_o 18._o the_o most_o active_a in_o put_v christ_n to_o death_n mar._n 15._o 10_o 11._o luk._n 19_o 47._o the_o multitude_n that_o come_v to_o apprehend_v christ_n be_v send_v by_o the_o priest_n joh._n 18._o 3._o the_o false_a witness_n be_v suborn_v by_o the_o priest_n math_n 26._o 59_o yet_o by_o the_o power_n of_o prayer_n and_o the_o word_n these_o priest_n be_v bring_v in_o by_o great_a number_n to_o the_o faith_n of_o christ_n and_o the_o obedience_n of_o the_o gosple_n jun._n 25._o about_o three_o of_o the_o clock_n in_o the_o morning_n be_v lord_n day_n my_o wife_n be_v deliver_v of_o a_o daughter_n and_o that_o morning_n the_o lord_n send_v a_o very_a plentiful_a rain_n the_o tuesday_n before_o we_o keep_v a_o day_n of_o humiliation_n for_o my_o wife_n safe_a delivery_n and_o to_o seek_v the_o lord_n for_o rain_n and_o the_o lord_n give_v a_o gracious_a answer_n to_o the_o prayer_n of_o that_o day_n both_o at_o one_o time_n jul._n 31._o i_o see_v the_o plague_n of_o my_o heart_n break_v out_o i_o argue_v against_o my_o corruption_n yet_o it_o overcome_v i_o and_o lead_v i_o captive_a it_o wound_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v still_o sin_v against_o god_n even_o while_o under_o his_o correct_a hand_n my_o faith_n be_v revive_v by_o that_o scripture_n isa_n 57_o 17_o 18._o i_o smite_v he_o he_o go_v on_o froward_o in_o the_o way_n of_o his_o own_o heart_n i_o have_v see_v his_o way_n and_o will_v heal_v he_o i_o be_v much_o encourage_v from_o that_o word_n i_o will_v heal_v he_o which_o import_v the_o subdue_a as_o well_o as_o the_o pardon_v of_o sin_n aug._n 2._o i_o be_v encourage_v to_o write_v something_o that_o may_v be_v useful_a for_o my_o generation_n from_o jer._n 36._o 1_o 2_o 3_o 4_o 5._o two_o thing_n especial_o from_o that_o scripture_n do_v put_v i_o forward_o to_o this_o 1._o writing_n of_o the_o word_n of_o god_n be_v a_o mean_n to_o convert_v soul_n and_o to_o lead_v they_o to_o repentance_n 2._o this_o command_n for_o writing_n be_v give_v when_o jeremiah_n be_v shut_v up_o and_o can_v not_o preach_v as_o usual_o and_o such_o be_v my_o case_n viz_o i_o be_v debar_v from_o public_a preach_n hereupon_o i_o apprehend_v god_n call_v i_o to_o write_v sept._n 6._o be_v fast_o day_n as_o i_o come_v from_o church_n i_o receive_v a_o letter_n from_o mr._n j._n which_o acquaint_v i_o that_o my_o son_n samuel_n be_v very_o ill_o that_o day_n i_o spend_v somewhat_o unprofitable_o i_o be_v not_o affect_v as_o i_o ought_v with_o public_a judgement_n and_o the_o misery_n of_o other_o and_o therefore_o it_o be_v just_a with_o god_n to_o bring_v affliction_n into_o my_o family_n the_o next_o day_n my_o wife_n and_o i_o go_v over_o to_o see_v our_o child_n and_o after_o we_o have_v be_v with_o it_o about_o five_o or_o six_o hour_n it_o die_v very_o sudden_o i_o be_v trouble_v that_o i_o do_v not_o pray_v with_o it_o before_o it_o die_v which_o be_v occasion_v by_o be_v in_o another_o family_n and_o my_o not_o apprehend_v death_n to_o be_v near_o this_o stroke_n come_v soon_o after_o my_o removal_n from_o colchester_n i_o commune_v with_o my_o heart_n whether_o i_o have_v sin_v in_o remove_v from_o that_o place_n and_o my_o conscience_n do_v not_o at_o that_o time_n charge_v i_o with_o sin_n in_o remove_v my_o habitation_n i_o be_v comfort_v in_o call_v to_o mind_n god_n deal_v with_o jacob_n who_o meet_v with_o many_o affliction_n in_o those_o remove_n which_o he_o make_v at_o the_o command_n of_o god_n he_o be_v pursue_v by_o his_o uncle_n put_v into_o great_a fear_n by_o his_o brother_n lose_v deborah_n his_o mother_n nurse_n and_o rachel_n his_o belove_a wife_n his_o son_n reuben_n simeon_n and_o levi_n fall_v into_o foul_a sin_n etc._n etc._n hence_o i_o see_v that_o god_n try_v his_o dear_a servant_n with_o sudden_a and_o sore_a affliction_n in_o those_o place_n to_o which_o they_o have_v remove_v at_o the_o call_n of_o god_n sept._n 24._o i_o enjoy_v the_o opportunity_n
strength_n of_o adversary_n jan._n 1._o 1673._o i_o awake_v about_o four_o of_o the_o clock_n in_o the_o morning_n and_o have_v many_o sweet_a meditation_n in_o my_o bed_n for_o the_o space_n of_o about_o two_o hour_n i_o then_o resolve_v with_o myself_o to_o engage_v my_o heart_n afresh_o and_o to_o renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o the_o lord_n the_o beginning_n of_o this_o new_a year_n to_o be_v the_o lord_n servant_n to_o serve_v the_o lord_n and_o his_o son_n jesus_n christ_n all_o the_o remainder_n of_o the_o day_n i_o have_v to_o live_v in_o this_o world_n in_o such_o service_n as_o he_o shall_v see_v meet_a to_o employ_v i_o the_o encouragement_n and_o inducement_n that_o be_v bring_v to_o my_o mind_n and_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n willing_o and_o cheerful_o to_o give_v up_o myself_o to_o the_o lord_n to_o serve_v he_o and_o his_o son_n jesus_n christ_n be_v these_o 1._o his_o promise_n of_o afford_v his_o presence_n and_o assistance_n to_o such_o as_o be_v his_o servant_n and_o to_o be_v their_o god_n isa_n 41._o 8_o 9_o 10._o 2._o the_o great_a and_o precious_a promise_n make_v to_o his_o servant_n isa_n 54._o per_fw-la totum_fw-la which_o conclude_v thus_o v._n 17._o this_o be_v the_o heritage_n of_o the_o servant_n of_o the_o lord_n 3._o we_o glorify_v god_n when_o we_o serve_v he_o isa_n 49._o 3._o thou_o be_v my_o servant_n o_o israel_n in_o who_o i_o will_v be_v glorify_v 4._o god_n have_v do_v great_a thing_n for_o i_o both_o for_o my_o outward_a and_o inward_a man_n and_o the_o only_a thing_n that_o he_o require_v of_o i_o be_v to_o serve_v he_o in_o truth_n and_o sincerity_n 1_o sam._n 12._o 24._o 5._o all_o christ_n servant_n shall_v assure_o be_v with_o he_o where_o he_o be_v and_o shall_v be_v honour_v of_o the_o father_n joh._n 12._o 26._o and_o shall_v enter_v into_o the_o joy_n of_o their_o lord_n mat._n 25._o 21._o may_v 19_o 1676._o read_v levit._n 22._o 3._o whosoever_o of_o the_o priest_n in_o their_o generation_n go_v unto_o the_o holy_a thing_n which_o the_o child_n of_o israel_n do_v hallow_v unto_o the_o lord_n have_v his_o uncleanness_n upon_o he_o that_o soul_n shall_v be_v cut_v off_o from_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o the_o ensue_a sabbath_n be_v sacrament_n day_n i_o consider_v with_o myself_o 1_o st_z that_o great_a reverence_n be_v due_a to_o the_o lord_n supper_n than_o to_o the_o holy_a thing_n under_o the_o law_n 2_o lie_v moral_a uncleanness_n be_v great_a than_o ceremonial_a 3_o lie_n therefore_o i_o consider_v how_o i_o may_v go_v to_o this_o ordinance_n and_o administer_v it_o to_o other_o without_o have_v my_o uncleanness_n upon_o i_o that_o be_v how_o i_o may_v be_v purge_v from_o my_o uncleanness_n to_o that_o end_n i_o determine_v 1._o humble_o to_o acknowledge_v confess_v and_o bewail_v the_o uncleanness_n of_o my_o heart_n lip_n and_o life_n before_o the_o lord_n isa_n 6._o 5_o 6_o 7_o 8_o 9_o when_o the_o prophet_n bemoan_v his_o uncleanness_n the_o lord_n purge_v it_o away_o and_o send_v he_o to_o do_v his_o office_n 2._o to_o go_v to_o the_o fountain_n set_v open_a for_o sin_n and_o for_o uncleanness_n zech._n 13._o 1._o that_o be_v to_o act_v my_o faith_n on_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n which_o cleanse_v from_o all_o sin_n 1_o joh._n 1._o 7._o 3._o to_o rest_v upon_o god_n by_o faith_n for_o fulfil_v his_o covenant_n wherein_o he_o have_v promise_v to_o cleanse_v i_o from_o all_o my_o filthiness_n and_o to_o save_v i_o from_o all_o my_o uncleanness_n ezek._n 36._o 25_o 29._o act._n 15._o 9_o 4._o to_o plead_v earnest_o with_o god_n to_o take_v away_o all_o iniquity_n hos_fw-la 14._o 2._o and_o to_o create_v in_o i_o a_o clean_a heart_n ps_n 51._o 10._o and_o to_o succeed_v my_o prayer_n with_o endeavour_n to_o put_v away_o evil_a and_o uncleanness_n out_o of_o my_o heart_n and_o life_n isa_n 1._o 16._o 18._o 2_o cor._n 7._o 1._o these_o be_v many_o of_o those_o judicious_a observation_n which_o this_o holy_a person_n make_v and_o those_o spiritual_a experience_n he_o find_v and_o record_v for_o his_o own_o use_n that_o he_o may_v always_o have_v at_o hand_n before_o he_o the_o manner_n and_o method_n of_o god_n deal_v with_o his_o soul_n the_o work_n of_o corruption_n and_o grace_n his_o lapse_n and_o recovery_n his_o combat_n and_o victory_n over_o world_n sin_n and_o satan_n his_o perseverance_n and_o progress_n in_o holiness_n the_o secret_a intercourse_n between_o god_n and_o his_o soul_n the_o withdrawing_n and_o return_v of_o the_o holy_a spirit_n the_o faithfulness_n of_o god_n covenant_n the_o truth_n of_o his_o word_n sensible_o feel_v in_o his_o heart_n food_n for_o his_o faith_n encouragement_n to_o walk_v with_o god_n with_o experimental_a instruction_n how_o to_o comfort_v trouble_v conscience_n in_o which_o part_n of_o the_o ministry_n he_o have_v a_o peculiar_a excellency_n beyond_o most_o part_n of_o his_o brethren_n for_o partly_o by_o his_o diligent_a search_n of_o the_o holy_a scripture_n partly_o by_o observe_v and_o record_v the_o method_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n towards_o himself_o and_o partly_o by_o discourse_v with_o trouble_a conscience_n wherein_o as_o he_o be_v much_o exercise_v so_o he_o take_v much_o delight_n he_o be_v so_o acquaint_v with_o the_o various_a case_n of_o conscience_n and_o so_o well_o understand_v both_o case_n and_o cure_v that_o it_o may_v be_v true_o say_v of_o he_o the_o lord_n god_n have_v give_v he_o the_o tongue_n of_o the_o learned_a that_o he_o may_v know_v how_o to_o speak_v a_o word_n in_o season_n to_o the_o weary_a on_o which_o account_n he_o may_v be_v surname_v barnabas_n a_o son_n of_o consolation_n it_o be_v his_o usual_a manner_n in_o preach_v to_o foresee_v and_o raise_v such_o objection_n as_o trouble_a soul_n be_v prone_a to_o make_v against_o themselves_o and_o to_o solve_v they_o with_o much_o clearness_n and_o satisfaction_n and_o many_o application_n of_o such_o soul_n be_v make_v to_o to_o he_o in_o private_a as_o to_o a_o skilful_a experience_a spiritual_a physician_n who_o advice_n god_n succeed_v with_o his_o blessing_n to_o the_o encouragement_n of_o the_o faith_n and_o hope_n of_o many_o doubt_a christian_n that_o walk_v in_o darkness_n which_o be_v here_o publish_v not_o only_o as_o instance_n and_o demonstration_n of_o that_o spirit_n of_o light_n and_o grace_n that_o power_n of_o godliness_n which_o possess_v and_o govern_v his_o heart_n and_o life_n and_o fit_v he_o to_o be_v such_o a_o useful_a instrument_n for_o the_o service_n of_o christ_n and_o his_o church_n on_o which_o account_n his_o memory_n be_v worthy_o honourable_a and_o precious_a to_o all_o good_a man_n but_o especial_o for_o the_o instruction_n direction_n relief_n support_n and_o encouragement_n of_o other_o who_o be_v follow_v he_o though_o at_o a_o great_a distance_n in_o that_o narrow_a way_n which_o lead_v to_o that_o life_n to_o which_o he_o be_v arrive_v they_o who_o labour_n and_o be_v heavy_a lade_v who_o be_v bow_v down_o under_o the_o power_n and_o weight_n of_o their_o sin_n wrestle_v with_o corruption_n and_o temptation_n exercise_v with_o darkness_n and_o doubt_n with_o fear_n and_o faint_n they_o who_o be_v call_v to_o difficult_a service_n which_o require_v much_o labour_n and_o diligence_n and_o self-denial_n and_o may_v expose_v they_o to_o the_o hazard_n and_o danger_n of_o this_o evil_a world_n may_v hence_o take_v counsel_n and_o encouragement_n while_o they_o read_v the_o sense_n and_o work_n of_o their_o own_o heart_n in_o the_o experience_n the_o method_n and_o practicablenesse_n of_o their_o duty_n in_o the_o example_n of_o this_o eminent_a saint_n we_o have_v hitherto_o see_v something_n of_o his_o conscience_n of_o sin_n and_o duty_n his_o industry_n and_o zeal_n for_o the_o service_n and_o glory_n of_o god_n his_o combat_n with_o the_o flesh_n and_o satan_n his_o love_n to_o christ_n and_o his_o church_n his_o spirituality_n in_o religion_n his_o long_n and_o breathe_n after_o god_n his_o remember_a god_n upon_o his_o bed_n and_o meditate_v on_o he_o in_o the_o night_n watch_v his_o wise_a improvement_n of_o the_o holy_a scripture_n his_o due_a fulfil_n of_o all_o relation_n his_o holy_a manner_n of_o live_v to_o god_n from_o whence_o we_o may_v rational_o conclude_v that_o sure_o he_o give_v this_o diligence_n unto_o the_o full_a assurance_n of_o hope_n that_o he_o taste_v the_o consolation_n of_o god_n and_o receive_v the_o earnest_n of_o glory_n that_o he_o walk_v upon_o the_o top_n of_o pisgah_n in_o the_o light_n of_o god_n countenance_n and_o in_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o heavenly_a canaan_n which_o privilege_n indeed_o the_o god_n of_o peace_n and_o comfort_n do_v not_o deny_v he_o he_o be_v a_o man_n as_o of_o much_o grace_n so_o of_o much_o peace_n a_o instance_n of_o that_o