and even as the Husbandman who soweth his seed in the Earth hath long patience for it untill he receiveth the early and latter rain so do thou wait patiently upon the Lord who will be unto thee as the early and latter rain in due season wait upon him he who is to come will come and will not tarry and his reward will be with him even fulness of joy comfort peace rest and sweet satisfaction unto thee oh my soul Oh my soul oh my soul surely surely the Lord will never leave thee nor forsake thee if thou forsake him not indeed he may seem to hide his face from thee for a time but without doubt he will appear again to thy comfort who cannot live without him oh my soul the Lord heareth thee often saying in secret alass what is the glory of the world unto me what is the honour and praise of the world to me what is the favours friendship and estemation of the world to me what is the vanity vain sports delights and pleasures of the sons and daughters of Men to me oh surely all these things are but as dross and dung unto me in comparison of the Lord my God who is the fountain of everlasting joy delight and pleasure oh if I enjoy him fully I have enough he is the joying of my heart the rejoycing and glading of my spirit the strength of my rains the girdle of my lines wherefore how can I live without him oh my soul the Lord intends good unto thee by all his dealings with thee if he withdraw for a time and hide his face from thee for a season it is thereby to let thee see what thou art without him how poor how weak how feeble how foolish how empty how dead how dry how cold how barren and unfruitful art thou without the Lord that so thou being made truly sensible of thy own weakness and inability may be the more sensible of the needfulness of the supporting power and upholding arme and saving grace of the Lord thy God and the more to relie and depend upon the Lord oh my soul through the Lords withdrawing his presence from thee thou comes the more to know what the want of his presence is and coms to learn to prize the sweet enjoyment of his presence the more and to hold him fast and cleave unto him and to be very vigilent and careful thou doth not grieve him nor do the thing that may cause him to withdraw himself from thee oh my soul Oh my soul thou must learn to know how to want and how to abound how to be full and how to be empty how to be rich and how to be poor and in every condition to be content and not to murmur against the Lord the Lord can open and none can shut and he can shut and none can open the Lord can open the windows of Heaven and shour down abundantly upon thee oh my soul and even make a plenty in thy land even cause thy store to abound with corn and thy Fat 's overflow with new wine and he can also shut up the windows of heaven for a time and make a famine in thy Land if he pleaseth and thou must not say unto him in a murmuring way why dealeth thou thus with me for indeed he may do what he will do and yet all his doings are just and righteous altogether and in all his dealings with thee he thy dear tender nursing Father intends good unto thee oh my soul Oh my soul when the fountain openeth and the great deep overfloweth and fills thee with plenty of things needful for thee even then oh my soul dread and fear thou before the Lord and take heed of being lifted up in heart of being puffed up in mind of being exalted in spirit and beware of a false ease and wrong liberty and false security which may soon steal upon thee at such a time when thou art rich wise strong and full enough in thy own eyes if thou do not abide upon the watch and dread the Lord and drink the draughts of joy in the pure fear and trembling never departing therefrom in what ever thou enjoy of the Lord or receive from the Lord or do and suffer for the Lord keeping low in heart meek in mind humble in soul tender in bowels contrite in spirit and then oh my soul thou art in a safe condition truly my soul when thou appeareth wise strong rich and full enough in thy own eye even then thou art rather in greater danger then when thou appeareth weak poor and empty in thy own eyes although thou art not then without danger but hath cause to fear and watch in all conditions oh my soul when thou appeareth weak poor and feeble in thy own eyes even then take heed of distrust and doubting but hold fast thy trust in the Lord and let thy confidence in his name be firme and thy hope in his tender bowels be sure and constantly relie and depend upon him and honour him in believing in him and if he kill thee yet trust thou in him and never leave him for alass whether should thou go he hath the word of eternal life who is worthy to be glorified magnified honoured and praised feared served loved and obeyed for ever and forever more Oh my soul thou dearly loveth thy Fathers Children oh the Lord knoweth how near and dear his dear babes and tender lambs are unto thee oh my soul oh thou knoweth them in the spirit of love wherein thou delighteth to imbrace them even those whom outwardly thou never saw and in spirit to clasp them about and kiss them with a kiss of peace and hug them in the bosom of indearedness ah thy bowels thy bowels is open unto them and thy love is dear indeed towards them as the Lord thy God knoweth and oh that love might abound in thee more and more and in the hearts of all the children of Light it may abound one towards another as in days past and years which are gone that it may appear to all we are of God who is love and that we all are true disciples of Christ in that we love one another not only in shew and in word but in deed and in truth loving one another fervently with a pure heart Oh my soul thou desirest to simpathize with thy Fathers Children in their tryals sufferings and afflictions and in spirit to bear a part with them therein oh thou desirest even to mourne with them that mourne and to weep with them that weep in secret and to rejoyce with them that rejoyce and to travel in spirit with and for the Travellers to Sion and with the Travellers in Sion and to watch with those Watch-men which the Lord hath set upon the walls of Jerusalem who for Sions sake cannot be still and for Jerusalems sake cannot hold their peace who cease not to cry day and night to the Lord and can give him no rest until he establish
wait how long shall I seek how long shall I call and utter my voice weeping saylng oh come away come away unto me thou whom I mourn for whom I long after whom my soul loveth oh I have waited so long that I am weary and begin to be almost without hope of his coming any more unto me Well what shall I do and whether shall I go I will even lay me down in sorrow and make it my bed make grief my sheets and tears my pillow and sighing and mourning my sleep untill he come whom my soul loveth for verily I cannot I cannot be satisfied with another besides him Oh who amongst the sons and daughters of Men shall I make my moan unto unto whom shall I complain and ease my heart unto where shall I find one who is sensible of my condition that can simpathize with me and that can speak a word in season unto my poor soul oh is it thus with any as it is with me Yes yes I believe there is many hath been and many now are in thy condition Oh where may I find one of them that I might ease my heart unto him and spread my condition before him for oh verily my bowels is very open to those who be in my condition well have patience be quiet and be still and lend an ear unto me and I may speak a little how it is with me and it may be if the Lord will to thy comfort for oh truly my soul loveth thee oh my heart is moved with compassion towards thee oh my bowels my bowels is open unto thee and my soul greatly simpathize with thy soul and could even wish my soul for a time in thy souls stead oh though indeed I am but a Child yet truly I am in some measure sensible of thy condition and can read it by my own and oh how willingly would I help thee according to my ability oh truly methinks I would even be a help unto all who stand in need of help but especially unto thee thou poor soul what art thou poor so am I what art thou weak and feeble so am I oftentimes what art thou empty so am I oftentimes what art thou cold and barren so am I sometimes what art thou as one desolate and destitute so am I sometimes what doth thou eat thy bread weeping and mingle thy drink with thy tears it is so with me at sometimes when I want the enjoyment of him whom my soul loveth for truly it is with me sometimes as it is with thee for sometimes I have not the enjoyment of my beloved as I have at other times but sometimes he seems to be withdrawn and to hide his face from me oh then it is with me as it is with thee oh then sorrows take hold upon me and trouble surroundeth me about as a wall and mourning covers me as a garment and none seeth my tears but the Lord oh then my leanness my leanness my coldness and barrenness is my greatest burden which causeth me to go bowed down in spirit saying in my heart Oh whether is my beloved gone and what is the cause he hath withdrawn himself from me wherefore is it thus with me what is the matter what shall I do what will the Lord leave me what will my God forsake me what will the Lord now cast me off who hath done so much for me Oh what is the cause that it is thus with me wherefore is the windows of Heaven shut up and the shoures of refreshment from on high withheld from me oh once I could say the Lord is my shepherd and my soul doth not want he causeth me to feed and even to lie down in green Pastures and leadeth me by the still waters and spreadeth my table with dainties and anointeth my head with the oyle of gladness and causeth my cup to overflow with new Wine But oh alass for me now I am in a dry and thirsty land where no water is oh what hath the Lord cast me off for ever Oh my tears is my meat and drink whilest my enemy saith unto me where is thy God dost thou think he will ever appear again unto thee why dost thou thus hunger thirst cry and pant after him alass it is in vain for thee to wait for him once indeed thou had the enjoyment of him once thou went with the multitude with them to the house of God with the voice of joy and praise with a multitude that keep holy day but alass thou must not look for such a day again And thus the adversary of my soul endeavoureth to add sorrow to my sorrow and to encrease the weight of my burden that so I might sink and never rise But oh the Lord my God is near to help me even in that time when I can scarce perceive him and when I am as Peter was ready to sink then his invisible arme of mercy is ready to save me and a secret hope the Lord preserveth alive in me which is as an anchor unto my soul which keeps me from suffering shipwrack a hope that the Lord will appear again to me to my joy whereby some encouragement I feel stirring in me to wait upon the Lord patiently and to trust in him though I do not see him and to relie upon him and hope in his tender bowels when he seems to be far off me and to roul my self upon him and surely he will appear again to thy joy oh my soul who canst not be satisfied without his presence even the presence of the Lord thy God which thou desireth more then all things else whatsoever wherefore the Lord seeing it is so with thee that thou desireth his presence more then all other things surely surely he will not cast thee off for ever surely he will appear again to thy joy wherefore why art thou so much cast down oh my soul and why art thou thus disquieted within me oh hope hope thou in thy God for thou shalt yet praise him the Lord will yet again command his loving kindness in the day time and in the night season his song shall be with thee even praises to the God of thy life oh wait patiently upon the Lord and trust in the living God whose compassions fails not towards those who loveth him oh he will send out his light and his truth into thee again and it shall bring thee unto his holy hill and to his Tabernacle and then shalt thou go to the altar of God of God thy exceeding joy and upon thy harp shall thou praise the Lord thy God thy delight and joy oh it is good for thee both to hope and quietly to wait upon the Lord for the Lord is good to the man that waits upon him unto the soul which seeketh him and cannot be satisfied without him oh wait patiently upon him even as a servant waiteth upon his Master and as a maiden at the hand of her Mistress so do thou wait for the Lord
Jerusalem and make her a praise in the whole Earth for ever more Oh my soul be watchful and wary that thou dost not in the least degree seek glory honor and praise to thy self and to be had in esteem by others but oh wait to feel self wholly baptized into death and made of no reputation and take heed that thy left hand know not what thy right hand doth and do nothing to be seen of men or whereby to be accounted of by others but in all thou doth appeal unto him who seeth in secret and he it is who will reward thee openly seek thou to be only known and manifested to the pure un-erring witness of God in all consciences and to stand justified and approved by it and that is enough no honor no glory no praise but to God alone oh strive not for Lordship and Mastership over others but rather strive to be most meekest lowest humblest tender and contrite in mind and spirit condescending even to the lowest and serving the meanest in love seeking peace and unity among bretheren with all self-denyal bearing forbearing and forgiving for the Seeds sake bearing with the infirmities of the weak and with the haltings of the feeble watching for the good in all without respect of persons but not to watch for evil in any for that is abominable in the eyes of the Lord and seek thou the glory of God alone the honor of his name the exaltation and spreading forth of his truth the freedome growth and reign of the Seed of God in the hearts of all the prosperity of his tender Lambs Babes and Children that they may all stand in this day of tryal and be preserved in this hour of darkness and temptation and even to seek the good of all yea the good of thy greatest Enemies and have nothing but love and good will towards thy greatest Persecuters seeking the salvation of all people but not the destruction of any And oh my soul be circumspect and vigilent to walk so as becometh the Gospel and thee to be an adorning to the truth of God and to be as an holy example and righteous pattern unto all people where ever I come that I may be unto the Lord as a sweet smell and delectable savour that the blessing of the Lord my God may be poured down upon me yet more and more that I might become fruitful unto the Lord my God and be an instrument in his hand amongst the Sons and Daughters of Men to the praise glory honor and renown of the Lord Almighty for ever more oh my soul watch and fear before the Lord and take heed thou do not that thing to please others which thou knowest is not approved by the Lord keep thy eye unto the Lord and look not out at others to walk by imitation and if thou seeth him or her one or another what ever they be accounted of do those things which the Lord allowes thee not to do do not thee do them because an other doth them but watch and keep close unto the Lord and take counsel of him Oh my soul do not judg or justifie those things which thou hath not a true discerning in because an other judges or justifies them but rather be passive in that matter and stand still and wait upon the Lord for a perfect understanding in all things Oh my soul seek not liberty to the flesh beware of that counted freedome which is indeed bondage which hath stollen upon many in their latter days oh my soul indeavour to put off those things which in their place are said to be lawful which are a means to hinder thy growth into the Eternal and oh walk wisely before all Men giving no offence to the Jew nor Gentile nor to the Church in God knowing that there is that which is lawful but not expedient there is that which is lawful but it edifies not wherefore forbear what may be forborn and yet be not brought under the power of any thing below the life but seek after those things which make for edification love peace and unity for God is the Author of peace and not the Author of confusion strife contention and debate Oh my soul thou doth greatly desire that I might not appear in the sight of any of the Lords Lambs and little ones to be more then what I really am in and through the grace of God by which I am what I am and his grace which he hath freely bestowed upon me hath not been in vain praises to his name for ever Oh I would not be accounted of by any little one to be more then what I am in the Lord but rather let me be hid least honour should be ascribed unto that unto which it doth not belong for indeed all honour belongs to God alone alass all flesh is as grass and what is Man he is but a Vessel wherein God may appear or disappear as he pleaseth and indeed the Lord is jealous of his glory and he will not give it unto another wherefore my soul seek the glory honour and praise to God alone unto whom only it is due for ever and ever more Oh my soul thou doth not want the love the dear unfained love of the Lords dear babes tender lambs and children and oh thou desireth thou may not want their prayers for thee oh my soul that I may be preserved in this day of trial and be enabled by the Lord to finish my Testimony for him to his praise and my comfort joy and peace for ever more Oh my soul fear thou before the living God and very diligently take heed least thou who stand'st should fall as several hath done to their own woe and to the dishonour of God and to the causing his unchangable Truth to be evil spoken of and many seekers after Righteousness to stumble and the hands of Sions enemies thereby strengthened against the faithful of the Lord wâ—ose hearts are made sad whom the Lord hath not made sad even in the sense of the sad condition of those who once in some measure were acquainted with the Lord once tasted of his goodness and graciousness of his sweet unspeakable love and peace and even in some measure tasted and handled of the word of life and of the Powers of the World to come who were delivered out of spiritual Egypt by an out-stretched Arm and Mighty Power and by the same power carried through the Spiritual sea and wilderness and did in measure eat of the spiritual meat and drink of the Spiritual Rock which was made unto them as a pillar of fire by night and a pillar of a cloud by day c. and yet behold they are drawn back again by the enemy of their soul through their yielding unto his temptations and receiving his proffers and are turned as the Dog to his vomit and as the sow that was washed to her wallowing again in the mire and hath even made shipwrack of faith and a good
conscience and are proved treacherous children denying their father who begat them and casting off their mother who traveled in pain to bring them forth and hating the womb that bore them and paps which gave them suck this hath come upon them through carelesness and sloathfulness and through reasoning and consulting with the enemy of their souls and through looking at the trouble trial sufferings streights and difficulties which appeared in their way and through lusting after the flesh pots of Egipt through looking back into the ease pleasure riches and honour of this world which hath carried them away captive again into Egipt into the house of bondage again wherefore oh my soul watch watch and stand fast in that liberty which the truth Christ the power of God hath brought thee into and take heed thou be not again intangled with the yoak of bondage Oh my soul if there be some who once were fresh green tender living and fruitful unto God who now hath lost their freshness greenness tenderness and fruitfulness towards God and now coldness deadness and barrenness is come upon them to God-ward and their love and zeal for the Lord waxed cold Oh my soul if it have thus happened unto some oh how can thou but fear before the Lord oh my soul least the same should happen unto thee also And if some there be whose minds are gotten into a full liberty and are at ease in the flesh living above the cross of Christ Jesus which crucifies to the world and are grown careless and negligent spending their time often with vain talking foolish jesting and needless communication who formerly spent their time in waiting upon the Lord in meditating and exercising themselves in the things of God being very watchful over their thoughts words works and actions having the pure fear of the Righteous God fresh in their hearts standing in awe of him always least they should sin against him in thought word and deed lying down and rising up in his pure fear eating and drinking and doing all things in the pure fear of the Lord knowing a stay to their minds a stop to their thoughts a bridle to their tongues a watch before their mouth and a fearing in their hearts least they should not be watchful enough over their lives and conversations yea even over their very carriage and gesture their words being very few sober and savoury even savouring of the grace of God in their hearts they desiring and endeavouring very diligently to walk so as that they might in life carriage and conversation be as holy patterns and righteous examples of love of peace of holiness and purity of meekness and lowliness of tenderness and pitty of mercy and compassion of patience and long suffering of sobriety and gentleness c. that so they might walk as becometh Saints blameless and harmless as sons of God without rebuke in the middest of a crooked and perverse generation among whom to shine as lights to the adorning of the truth of God professed by them and to the glory honour and praise of the Lord God and to the joy comfort refreshment peace and consolation of their own souls Oh this condition which once they were in was very sweet blessed and happy and if now they have in measure lost this sweet condition and so in measure are departed from their first love and grown careless and negligent puft up with knowledge without life which only keeps humble satisfying themselves with talking of what they formerly enjoyed of the Lord â—nd of what they have done and suffered for the Lord c. I say if it be thus with some then oh my soul in the sence of what is come upon them how can thou but fear dread and tremble in heart before the Lord not in the least measure or degree to watch for evil in any or to have an eye open to spy out the nakedness of another or to take an occasion against them because of their failings and haltings or being bâ—sie in looking at others conditions and in keeping their Vinyards and neglect the keeping of thy own Nay nay oh my Soul let it not be so with thee but if thou as thou setteth in thy habitation without desiring at all to look abroad at others seeth that it hath and is happened unto many according as is forementioned then oh my soul only let it be as a warning unto thee the more to fear before the Lord and to be the more watchful in the light and to keep closer unto the Lord least the same things should happen unto thee oh my soul as hath happened unto them unto whom let thy tenderness extend and thy dear love abound with secret crys and strong groanings unto the Lord thy God on their behalfes and on thy own behalf that thou may be kept and preserved unto the end Oh alass for thee my poor soul how weak art thou and how unable to stand as of thy self wherefore cleave cleave and keep close unto the Lord thy tender compassionate God and then assuredly the Lord will cleave unto thee and will not leave thee oh my soul wherefore lift up thy head in the strength of the Lord and look up unto the holy one whose dwelling is on high in the holy place and with thee oh my soul as thou art kept humble in heart contrite in spirit meek in mind and trembleth at his word and look not at thy own weakness feebleness and inability but keep thy eye unto the Lord and trust in his name relie and depend upon his arme and hope in his tender bowels who maketh the poor rich the weak strong the simple wise wait thou patiently upon him and look not out at the greatness of others measures neither look thou at the smallness of thy own least faintness weariness and discouragement should thereby come in upon thee and thou murmur because thy measure is no greater but be thou contented and truly satisfied with thy portion and be faithful unto the Lord in thy measure and being faithful in the little thou shall be made ruler over much and enter into the joy of the Lord wait upon him who hath freely given in thee what thou hath of him and he can give thee more there was nothing in thee that was of thee which induced the Lord to communicate that measure of his fulness unto thee which he hath dispensed to thee but of his own meer mercy tender love and free grace who of his own free will hath begotten thee again unto a living hope so that thou right well knoweth that it is not he that willeth nor he that runeth but God who sheweth mercy Oh thou had not awakened out of the sleep of sin and corruption had not the mighty God thundred from his dwelling place upon thee and awakened thee oh my soul surely thou had never been raised out of the dust of sin and grave of iniquity had not the Lord of his own free will raised thee up
over thee with joy he 'l joy over thee with singing then it shall be said sing oh daughter of Sion and shout oh Israel and rejoyce with all thy heart oh daughter of Jerusalem for the Lord hath taken away thy Judgment he hath cast out thy enemies and thy warfare is accomplished and thy great travel is finished and now thou shalt rest from thy labour and they who hath laboured and mourned with thee and for thee shall rejoyce for joy with thee and suck and be satisfied with the sweet consolation of thy breast and milk out and be delighted in the abundance of thy glory oh the Lord thy husband thy maker the God of hosts is his name will extend peace joy comfort and everlasting refreshment as a mighty stream and endless consolation as a river oh then shall they be comforted in thee after their sorrow and be born up upon thy sides and dandles upon thy knees for as a woman comforteth her only son so will the Lord comfort Jerusalem in the sence whereof her Children shall rejoyce and their souls be right glad and flourish as an herb and their spirit shall praise and sing glory unto him who is Lord and King of Heaven and Earth who is worthy worthy of all glory praise and honour for ever and for ever more Amen saith my soul The thing which the Lord hath purposed must be accomplished in his season and the thing that he hath determined must be fulfilled in despite of all the powers of Darkness Oh that all thy babes and lambs may willingly wait thy appointed time oh Lord God almighty oh dear God keep all thy people retire in thy name that so what ever thou suffer to befall their bodies their souls may be safe bundeled up in the bundle of Life wrapped therein for ever more for a terrible day is like to be upon all flesh and who can be able to abide it Oh dear God increase the patience of thy People strengthen the faith of thy Chosen oh support the weak and uphold the little ones which cannot yet go alone oh that none of thy flock may faint nor grow weary oh that all thine might stand in the day of tryal and be kept in the hour of temptation and borne up under all sufferings that so in the end they may come forth as gold seven times refined in the fire that they may shine as stars in the firmament of thy power making mention of thy goodness graciousness and kindness oh Lord God Almighty declaring of thy mighty acts and sing of thy mercies and wonderful doings and glorifie magnifie honour and praise thee thou mighty everlasting powerful one who art from all Eternity to all Eternity whose Throne is established of old whose septer beareth sway in Righteousness whose Kingdom is Everlasting glory and halleluiah to thee in the highest for ever and for ever moâ—e yea praises praises pure living praises every minute be rendered unto the Lord Almighty saith the soul of William Bennit OH arise arise thou holy righteous seed of the Covenant of life eternal Arise arise thy Light is come and the glory of thy God is risen upon thee Oh thou lovely one Nations shall come to thy light and Kings to the brightness of thy rising Ah thou beautiful one thy Sons shall come from far and thy Daughters from the ends of the Earth Arise arise thou beautiful one who art altogether lovely Oh how sweet is thy Love thou lovely one oh how excellent is thy Love thou choice one oh thy love thy love is more precious then Rubies more sweeter then hony oh thy love is better then wine Oh how hath thy love overcome the hearts of many and wone them unto thee oh thy love draws many after thee oh how doth thy love cause many to cast off all their other lovers to follow thee thou lovely one oh thou art become unto many souls who loveth thee thou lovely one even the chiefest of ten thousands whose eyes are opened to see thy beauty and to behold thy comeliness thou beautiful one oh thou art hid from the polluted neither can the unclean behold thy excellent beauty the Vulterous eye cannot perceive thy Comeliness nor they who hath eyes full of Adultery and cannot cease from sin and have hearts exercised with covetous practises and are gone a whoring after many Lovers oh from these thou art hid thou lovely one even as a garden inclosed as a spring shut up as a fountain sealed from them Oh arise thou choice one and let thy beauty appear unto those who yet hath not seen thy beauty and let them tast of thy love that so they may cast off all other Lovers and follow thee Cast of all and cleave unto thee with their whole hearts Oh arise arise thou beloved one and shine forth in thy excellent glory that even the Nations may be ravished with thy beauty and Kingdoms overcome with thy love and be drawn after thee that a blessing in thee they may obtain Oh arise and let thy fruitfulness appear thou pâ—ecious one and let joy and gladness fill thy heart thou lovely one for the days of thy rejoycing is come and coming and the days of thy mourning is fleeing away Oh thou beloved one thou hath been even as a woman foâ—saken and grieved in spirit and few or none of the sons and daughters of Men hath looked upon thee with an eye of pitty Oh thou hath been as the Owle in the desart and as the alone sparrow upon the house top and as the alone quail in the stuble fields and as a Dove mourning alone without her Mat who hath set solitary alone as in the Wilderness and none among the sons of Men to comfoâ—t thee oh thou beloved one thou hath been like unto a man of sorrow and very deeply acquainted with grief often smitten often grieved often afflicted often wounded often pierced and oppressed even as a Cart that is pressed with sheaves and yet the sons and daughters of Men hath esteemed thee not although indeed thou patient one thou hath been wounded by their transgressions and grieved smitten and pâ—eâ—ced and bruised by their iniquities and hath born the weight of their sins and the burden of their Transgressions even while they like sheep have gone astray every one following his own way and feasting themselves as for a day of slaughter whiles thou hath been mourning because of the iniquity of the people eating and drinking and rising up to play whiles thou hath been weeping and groaning in secret because of the multitude of their transgressions who hath heaped sin upon sin and iniquity upon iniquity and hath loaded thee therewith which hath been as an impress of ten thousands upon thee thou tender one and unto thee they had no regard they took no notice of thy sorrow and burdens But oh thou beloved one thy God thy tender God who loveth thee with an Everlasting love took notice of thy sorrow and he saw
SOME Prison Meditations OF AN Humble Heart Given forth from a Child in Israel whose Soul very dearly loveth his Heavenly Fathers Children much desiring and travelling in spirit for their prosperity in the Truth even as for his own soul and the Author hereof believing and knowing thaâ— this following Treatise may if the Lord will be of service unto many of the tender honest simple single upright-hearted oneâ— who are following on to know the Lord in the footsteps of righteousness and who dâ—sireth to pass over on to the end in the strait way of holiness therfore even for their sakes is this following Treatise publishâ—d from a constraint of Gods love in singleness and simplisity of heart By a Sufferer for the Truth in the Common Coal of Edmondsbury whose Earthen Vessel bears the name of WILLIAM BENNIT Printed in the Year 1666. Some Prison Meditations of an humble Heart c. OH Oh my Soul be not unmindful of the large mercy and goodness of the Lord shewed towards thee neither forget the exceeding loving kindness of the Holy One manifested unto thee Oh my Soul Oh let the sence of what the Lord thy dear tender pittiful compassionate God hath done for thee continually be fresh in and upon thee oh my Soul for the Lord thy God hath freely done that for thee which none besides him the mighty one could do Oh my Soul the Lord hath brought thee out of the pit even out of the horrible pit and out of the mire and clay wherein thou once stuck so fast as that thou could never have been able to have gotten out by all means possible thou could have invented but must have sunk deeper and deeper therein and so have perished for ever had not the Lord God of infinite mercy helped thee who did cast his eye of pitty and compassion upon thee and out of his meer mercy love and free grace stretched out his hand to help thee oh my Soul when none besides him could help thee and by his arme of loving kindness lifted thee up out of the horrible pit out of the mire and clay and hath set thy feet upon a Rock which stands sure and can never be moved and thereon he establisheth thy goings praises pure living righteous Praises to the Lord thy God be rendered by thee Oh my Soul even for ever and for ever more Oh my Soul remember thou wast once even like a poor silly sheep without a shepherd wandering upon the barren mountains and dry heaths in the wilderness and solitary places full of trouble sorrow and perplexity and knew not the way to the fold of rest oftentimes mourning and weeping alone as a Dove without her Mate when no eye saw thy sorrow but the Lord alone often saying in thy heart whose state and condition is so miserable as mine who so poor and desolate as I none knoweth how iâ— is with me but the Lord alone And indeed the Lord then saw thee and knew how it was with thee oh my Soul and he the tender God of unfathomable bowels of compassion beheld thee in that day when thou did eat thy bread weeping and mingled thy drink with thy tears and he the compassionate one heard thy secret crys and knew thy secret desires and thy sighing and groaning entered into his ears and thy tears which thou dropped upon his altar laid open unto the view of the eye of thy tender mercyful God and his tender bowels was moved with pitty towards thee and for his own seed sake he had compassion upon thee oh my soul and helped thee in the day of thy trouble and delivered thee out of distress who freely reached forth his arme unto thee and took thee by the hand and brought thee out of the wildernesses and desolate places and set thy feet in the right way which hath led thee to a City of habitation and to the fold of rest and now the Lord who both sought thee and found thee out and brought thee out of the wilderness and from off the barren mountains he is become thy shepherd oh my soul and how canst thou want any good thing he oftentimes feedeth thee and even causeth thee to lie down in green Pastures and leadeth thee by the still waters even Shilos brook which runs softly and he spreadeth thy Table in the sight of thy enemies and anointeth thy head with the oyle of gladness and causeth thy cup to overflow with new wine and hath brought thee to sit under thy own Vine and under thy fig tree and none shall make thee afraid oh my soul Oh the goodness of the Lord oh the kindness of the Lord oh the mercy of the Lord oh the pitty of the Lord oh the compassion of the Lord God of tender bowels is even unutterable unspeakable unfathomable and incomprehensible Oh the heighth oh the depth oh the length oh the breadth of the love of the Lord oh my soul truly when thou meditatest of the goodness of the Lord and considerest of his loving kindness and mercy shewed towards thee oh how can but the sence thereof pitch thee even upon a stand of admiration Oh surely surely when thou oh my soul looketh back into his works and considerest how much he hath wrought in thee and for thee thou can see no end of his praises oh praises oh living praises holy righteous praises unto the pure holy righteous Lord God be ascribed by thee oh my soul for ever and for ever more Oh my Soul as thou art kept in the fresh sence and remembrance of the great loving kindness the great mercy the great pitty and unspeakable compassion of the Lord thy tender God which he hath and daily doth manifest unto thee oh my soul Oh how canst thou but in the sence of Gods unspeakable love abound in love in pitty in mercy in kindness in tenderness and compassion towards all people but especially towards all souls who are seeking thirsting hungring breathing crying and panting after Righteousness peace and everlasting rest and eternal happiness Oh my soul the Lord thy God knoweth the frame of thy spirit the Lord knoweth the tenderness of thy bowels and the openness of thy bosom towards all the seekers after Righteousness towards all the travellers to Sion and towards all the Mourners therein Oh my soul remember how that at some times when the great fountain the great deep hath opened and issued forth of his fulness into thee oh my soul and when joy hath come into thy heart as a river and gladness as a mighty stream refreshings as shoures in the spring and consolation as due upon the tender plants and when thou could sing for joy of heart and shout out aloud even prayses and halleluiahs to thy God that then even then thou oh my soul remembreth the poor and needy in his own eyes and think'st thou hearest his cry sounding in thy ear and his soul saying in secret Oh how many is there who eateth of the largest loaves drinketh
of the largest full flagons but oh alass for me I have scarce a drop of refreshment hardly a crum of consolation but my tears is my mâ—at and drink day and night whilest my enemy saith unto me where is thy God Oh I go bowed down all the day long and none knoweth my sorrow but the Lord alone Oh I am even as an Owle in the desart and as the Pelican in the Wilderness I am as the alone quail in the stuble fields and as a Dove mourning for the loss of her Mate and as the alone Sparrow upon the house top and as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit Oh whose condition is like mine is there any amongst the Sons and daughters of Men like unto me is there any so poor as I oh is there any so needy as I oh is there any so weak and feeble as I is there any so foolish as I oh is there any so dry and barren as I oh is there any so cold and fruitless to Godward as I is there any so desolate as I Oh my leanness oh my leanness oh how long how long shall it be thus with me oh how long how long shall I sit mourning as by the river of Babylon with my Harp laid aside oh when when shall I walk again in Sion and travel in the streets of Jerusalem with a new song in my mouth and everlasting joy upon my head and living praises in my heart unto the Lord who dwelleth in his Sion and his presence is great in his Jerusalem but oh alass for me I am as one cast out of his sight and one who walketh dejected all the day long Oh when will the Lord cause the days of my mourning to be over and the nights of my sorrow to pass away and my sighings and groanings to vanish and all tears to be wiped from mine eyes Oh when will the Lord give me beauty instead of ashes the oyle of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness that I a poor dry barren one might become a tree of Righteousness bringing forth fruit of holiness abundantly to the praise of the Lord God that he in and through me might be glorified oh when shall my winter be over and the terrible storms gone Oh when shall the cold nipping frosts be expelled and the darkness and gloominess be extinguished Oh when will the Sun of Righteousness break forth unto me in his glory and his warm beams refresh and warm my poor cold soul Oh when will the spring come when shall I know a spring time in the Lord oh when will Summer come oh when will the singing of birds come oh when shall I hear the voice of the Turtle in my Land oh when will the shoures from on high fall down upon my soul oh when shall I receive the early and latter rain oh when shall I come to sit under my own Vine and under my fig tree and none to make me afraid Oh how long shall my beloved be hid from me as in the â—lifts of the Rocks and as in the secret places of the Stares sometimes indeed he shews himself unto me as behind the wall and as through a lattis and then my bowels my tender bowels are moved for him Oh when oh when shall I have a full enjoyment of him whom my soul loveth oh that I could but plainly hear his voice and perfectly see his face for oh indeed sweet is his voice and his countenance is very comely oh my soul desireth him in the night season and in the morning I seek him early but oh I cannot find him whom my soul loveth for he hath withdrawn himself from me and that is the cause of my leanness coldness barrenness and unfruitfulness to Godward which is the cause of my sorrow tears sighing groaning mourning and walking dejected all the day long Oh indeed there was a time once when my beloved knâ—cked at the door of my heart saying again and again open open unto me my head is wet with dew and my locks filled with the drops of the night open open unto me and let me in but oh wo's me I was gotten into a bed of false ease and wrong security and was loath to come out but I made excuses and said I have put off my coat how shall I put it on I have washed my feet how shall I defile them c. and I lingered so long as that my beloved withdrew himself and at last I rose in my own time not when he called to open to my beloved and he was gone and then I called him but he did not answer me I sought him but did not find him and oh now my bowels my bowels is even pained for him and my soul panteth after him even as the hart panteth after the water brooks Oh that I could but find him whom my soul loveth oh I would hold him I would hold him fast I would not let him go he should lie all night in my bosom I would be watchful and diligent that I grieve him not and very fearful of displeasing of him and would take heed of giving him any cause whereby to leave me and thus to hide his face from me but oh alass for me when shall I find him when will he come whom I long for Oh when when shall I have my full enjoyment of him oh when will he bring me into his banqueting house and his love be even as a banner over me his left hand under my head and his right imbrasing of me staying me with flagons comforting me with apples making me sick of love giving me of his spised Wine and of the juice of his Pomgranets oh if thus I could come to enjoy him whom my soul loveth then would all tears be wiped away from mine eyes and I forget my sorrow because of joy and gladness and then should I look no more sorrowful but should rejoyce as Hannah did and say oh my heart rejoyceth in the Lord and my horn is exalted in the Lord and my mouth is enlarged over my enemy who said unto me I should be always barren and unfruitful because I rejoyce in his salvation who hath regarded my low estate oh now I the barren shall bear seven and she who hath had many Children wax feeble now I the parched ground become a Pool and I the dry hath springs of water now I the soletary place rejoyce and I the desart blossom as a Rose I the poor one made rich and I the weak one made strong I the foolish one made wise I the empty one overflow with fulness now the days of my sore mourning turned into joy and the nights of my sorrow turned into pleasure and the seasons of my seeking him whom my soul loveth turned into times of sweet reposes with him in his bed of solace But oh alass for me I may speak of these things but oh when when will it be thus with me oh how long shall I
and brought thee forth by his own Almighty power Oh my soul surely thou had never as as of thy self turned unto the Lord had not the Lord of his own free will turned thee and after thou was turned thou repented and after thou was afflicted thou smote upon thy thigh yea thou was confounded because thou bore the shame of thy youth and surely my soul after the Lord had turned thee in measure unto him thou had not followed him in the narrow and strait way through the Cross in the self denial had not the Lord thy God drawn thee after him by the cords and woings of his tender love and surely thou had turned back again from the Lord into the mire and durt again and had never stood untill this hour but must have fainted and dyed ere this day had not the Lord of his own free will kept thee preserved thee upheld thee and supported thee by his own almighty power whose grace hath been sufficient for thee both in the day of prosperity and in the day of adversity in the time of tryal in the hour of temptation and so let all flesh be silent in thee oh my soul and the Lord only exalted and the boaster for ever excluded and God alone have the glory and self wholly slain and the Lord alone honoured and praised and his unspeakable love and free grace admired and his holy name feared and obeyed by whose grace thou art what thou art and his grace bestowed upon thee hath not been in vain blessed blessed be the Lord and pure holy praises to him and glory and Halleluiah to him in the highest Amen saith my soul Oh Lord what was I and what was my Fathers house I was neither a Prophet nor a Prophets son what was I that the King of glory should cast his eye upon me even when I laid as among the pits what was I that he should hold forth the scepter unto me and I should find favour in his sight who regarded my low estate and raised me out of the dust and brought me from off the dunghill to sit among Princes Oh my soul the Lord hath done much for thee since the day he formed thee in the womb and brought thee forth for his praise he hath made the crooked things strait before thee and rough smooth and mountains he hath laid low before thee and removed many a hill out of thy way and he hath made a way for thee in the Wilderness and a path through many a thicket he hath lopt the bough with terrour and the great one of stature hath been hewn down he did cut up the thicket of the Forrest with Iron and Lebanon did fall by a mighty one oh he hath made the hard things easie unto thee oh how hath his love made thee willing to bow thy neck to the yoak and to take up the Cross and totally to despise the shame and to follow the Lamb through some trials and tribulations whose love hath drawn thee after him whose love hath as it were made thee to forget thy Fathers house Oh how hath his love caused me to cast off other lovers and to love the Lord my God who is now become my treasure and my heart is with him so that if I be shut up in prison if I enjoy him oh then days months and years may pass over my head and time is not thought long nor sufferings hard because of the enjoyment of the presence of the Lord my treasure whom my soul loveth for whose sake I am willing to suffer whose pure sweet refreshing comfortable presence makes a prison delightsome to me praises pure living praises to my God for ever who hath been with me in six troubles and in the seventh he hath not left me he is my buckler my shield my strength my Rock my safe guard my strong tâ—wer wherefore I 'le not fear the threats of the wicked neither regard the cruelty of the ungodly nor heed the purposes of my enemy nor mind the dâ—terminations of unrighteous men through the strength of my God I will not fear though the Earth be removed and carried into the midst of the Sea and though the mountains shake through the swelling thereof though the Heathen rage and the people imagine vain things and the Rulers take councel against me I 'le not fear what Man can do unto me for the Lord is with me and I shall not be moved and the Lord will help me and that right early yet alass for me poor poor worm I am but a child weak and feeble but indeed having had great experience of the love of my God and of his tender fatherly care over me how can I but confidently trust hope relie and depend upon the Lord my God believing that he the mighty one will enable me the weak one to wade through and endure those tryals he pleaseth to exercise me withal who through his love and mercy hath caused my trials to work for my good praises to his name for ever more who hath nine times delivered me out of the hands of unreasonable men out of their prisons and holes where I have suffered for the Testimony of my God through his enabling of me without murmuring against him praises unto him alone no honour no honour no glory but unto God saith my soul who hath kept me by his power from bowing to the Beast or drinking of the Whores Cup pure praises to my dear God for ever more who will free me once again from bonds in his own time I am willing to wait thy season oh my God who art with me and oh let me never depart from thee oh Lord and then I know thou will never leave me but thou wilt be my God to help me still and to support me still and to comfort me still and refresh me still and quicken me still and to feed me still with bread from Heaven fresh Manna morning by morning and give me to drink of the River of thy pleasure daily who wilt enable me to stand faithful to thee unto the end of my days that I may finish my Testimony for thee thy name and truth in this thy day even with joy and lay down my head in peace in thy tender bosome of endless love oh my tender God and therein repose with thy dear Children for evermore have my full satisfaction of love in thee thou fountain of Love and therein fetch my full breath for ever more Oh let it be so oh let it be so oh my dear God for thy own seed sake to thy own praise thou holy one who is worthy worthy of all glory glory honour and everlasting thanksgiving and pure living praises for ever and ever more Amen Halleluiah glory and eternal renown to the almighty one in the highest Amen Oh my soul thou dearly loveth the whole Flock of God where-ever they are scattered upon the face of the Earth oh thou greatly desireth their prosperity and tranquility and that
thy grief and beheld thy sore weights and burdens and took cognisance of thy grievous oppressions and he heard the voice of thy weeping and thy tears which thou dropped upon his altar laid in the view of the eye of his pittiful soul and he beheld thy great travel and thy sighing and groaning enteâ—ed into his ears and his tender tender bowels of infinite love mercy pitty and everlasting compassion was and is moved towards thee and he hath determined to comfort thee with an everlasting comfort thou patient suffering one and the nights of thy sorrow shall vanish away for ever and the days of thy mourning shall be over Oh thou beloved one lift up thy head lift up thy head in the stâ—ength of thy God and gird up thy loynes with courage in the power of his might for thy winter is almost over and gone and shall no more come the storms are vanishing away and shall no more appear the nipping frosts are dissolving by the Son of Righteousness who is arisen upon thee with healing in his wings Ah lift up thy voice like the sound of a Trumpet and shout like the voice of a King and sing for joy thou beloved one for thy spring is come thou lovely one thy summer is come thou lovely one the singing of birds is come thou beautiful one and the voice of the Turtle is heard in thy land thou delicate and choice one let thy heart be filled with melody thou blessed one who art cloathed with chastity and keepeth thy Virginity in the Chamber of Purity oh thy beloved is come and into his banqueting house he is bringing thee where his banner over thee is love where he will stay thee with flagons comfort thee with apples and cause thee to drink of his spiced wine and of the juice of his Pomgranets Oh rejoyce thou in his love thou lovely one for the days of the glading of thy heart is come thou tender one who hath been tossed with tempest and not comforted thou hath been termed desolate and forsaken thou hath been as one barren and unfruitful But now arise arise lengthen thy cords and strengthen thy stakes and enlarge the curtains of thy habitation for lo thou fruitful one thou shalt break forth on the right hand on the left and thy seed shall inherit the Gentiles and thy off-spring the people the North shall give up and the South shall not keep back they shall come from the East and from the West and flock unto thee as Doves to the window thy sons shall come from far and thy daughters be nursed at thy sides thou shalt cause many wast places to be builded and many buildings to fall and desolate places to be inhabited and inhabited places to be laid desolate and barren mountains to become fruitful vallys and fruitful places to become barren mountains and the wilderness become a Vinyard of sweet Grapes the forrest as a Citty of habitation the parched ground to become a pool and dry heaths springs of water oh arise arise thou beloved one and let thy fruitfulness be manifested to the Nations break forth in thy excellent glory shine forth in thy glorious beauty as clear as the morning without clouds fair as the Moon and bright as the Sun that thou may appear as a royal Diadem in the hand of the Lord and as a Crown of glory in the hand of thy God that far off Nations may see thy beauty and remote Kings may see thy excellent glory and be wone by thy love unto thee that they who hath hated thee may love thee because of thy love which did extend to them even whilst they hated thee and rejected the woings of thy love oh my soul loves thee in thy love thou lovely one oh kiss me kiss me with the kisses of thy mouth for thy love is better then wine oh thou beautiful one thy love overcomes my heart thy love draweth me after thee oh thou art pleasant unto me thy presence is more desirable then all things my heart can desire oh if thou hide thy face thou bountiful one then am I bowed down for the smiles of thy comely countenance is the rejoycing of my heart and the glading of my soul the refreshing of my spirit as marrow to my bones and stâ—ength to my reins oh thou art my joy in sorrow my comfort in mourning my help in need my strength in weakness my riches in poverty my bread in hunger my water in thirst my refuge from storms my shelter from heat and as the shadow of a Rock to me in a weary land oh how can I but love thee in thy love thou lovely one oh thou art my mother who hath traveled in great pain to bring me forth thou art the womb that bore me and the paps that giveth me suck the cradle of my rest and the bed of my repose oh can I forget thee how can I forget thee who hath done so much for me even that which no man could do oh thou loved me first before I loved thee thou lovely one and with thy love thou woed me and by thy love thou overcame my heart and drew it after thee and now thou amiable one the desire of my soul is unto thee and unto the remembrance of thy love oh my soul desireth thee in the night season and in the morning I will seek thee early thou art as a cluster of Camphire and as a bundle of Mirre unto me thou shall lie all night between my breasts oh thou lovely one let me repose in thy bosom and fould me in thy armes oh thy love thy love overcomes my heart thy beauty even makes me sick of love oh let me remember thy love more then Wine it is the upright loves thee and it is the puâ—e in heart who seeth thy beauty beholdeth thy excellent comelâ—ness oh let thy love still draw me after thee oh let me never leave thee oh that I may never forsake thee nor be unmindful of thy love which I have known to be stâ—onger then death and him who hath the power of death Oh thou art a tree of lâ—fe to those who taketh hold on thee and blessâ—d is every soul that retaineth thee Oh thy ways are ways of pleasantness aâ—d all thy paths are green and delightsome to those who loveth thee oh in thee is my rest in thee is my peace in thee is my joy in thee is my comfort in thee obtain I blessing and happiness thou art my jâ—y the crown of my rejoycing for ever and ever more Oh wherefore hold me hold me with thy love thou lovely blâ—ssed one let me never depart from thee and then I know thou wilt never depart fâ—om me but I shall be thine and thou shalâ— be mine in a perpetual Covenant which never shall be broken oh thou comely beautiful choice one thy riches is durable for the glory the glory the glory of the Lord thy God is thy dowry for ever more Unto whom be ascribed all honour and glory eternal praisâ—s and râ—nown and everlasting dâ—minion for evâ—rmore so be it saith my soul and Amen saith my â—pirit Oh come Lord Jesus come quickly and take unto thy self thy great powâ—â— to reign for thou art worthy worthy saith my Soul glory to thee in the highest for ever more Amen W. B. Written in Edmondsbury common Goal in the year 1665. THE END