perfect gift but sin was not created by him can receive no approbation from him God cannot possibly sin for hee may work besides his rule who may sin But Gods Rule is his most just and wise will which hee cannot but work after no more than hee can deny his own nature God cannot bee the author of sin in and with his creature as hee is of every good word and work for that which the creature doth God being the author and principal worker of it hee must inform the manner of it by his Commandement and work it in him by his Spirit But it is impossible for the creature to sin in working after that which is commanded him of God God cannot so far will sin as to approve it for good in it self it hath no proportion to his nature It is such a thing as hee cannot bee author of in the creature nor yet the creature work while it keepeth communion with him wherefore God cannot allow it as good in it self The Lord perswadeth to obedience threatneth the sinner commandeth the practice of holiness punisheth the disobedient Hee is just and holy in himself in all his waies and cannot bee tainted with the least spot or blemish Jam. 1.13 Thou oh God temptest no man as thou canst not bee tempted of evil and if it bee not of God it cannot bee good for hee is the absolute original goodness from whom cometh every good by participation The cause of sin is some voluntary agent that worketh besides Rule and comes short in goodness required Sin it self is an aberration the subordinate and deficient cause of sin is Satan or man himself revolted from God Satan soliciteth the flesh inticeth the will consenteth and so sin is finished The Devil was made an Angel of light but hee abode not in the truth and being fallen from Heaven ceaseth not to draw others into the same perdition God made man righteous but hee found out many inventions this is the cause but what is the end of sin Of evil there is no end for that is never good No gain to bee gotten by that which is naught and vile the poisoned stalk can bear no wholesome fruit Satan in tempting aimeth at mans perdition Man in sinning intendeth the satisfaction of his lusts The Lord doth by his providence order it to the glory of his name but of sin properly there is no end to the sinner God takes occasion by sin to give the promise of the Mediatour Hee can use sin for a punishment Rom. 1.24 for the exercising of his children No speech from Shimei but sinful reviling speech was Davids exercise but yet the goodness that cometh by sin is not of nor through it by nature but from the infinite wisdome of God who knoweth how to work good out of evil Let us somewhat inquire into the properties of this poison every sin is mortal in its own nature it deserveth and bringeth death endless and easeless of soul and body for it is a turning aside from God who is the life of the soul it is a breach of his Law an offence against his infinite Majesty If a man sin against the Majesty of an earthly Prince hee is punished with temporary death or perpetual imprisonment if hee could bee supposed to live alwaies hee should lye in for ever How much more deservedly am I subject to eternal death who have sinned against an eternal God Every sin in its own nature is accompanied with final impenitency Hee that sinneth once can never cease to sin by any natural power sin is a running leprosie that cannot bee stayed the soul that is once distempered must go amiss for ever if it bee not rectified by supernatural power It is of grace that sin is pardoned it is of supernatural power that any soul is set free from the power and tyranny of it For being once enthralled by voluntary submission wee cannot after draw back and work deliverance Sin is of a soiling nature and defileth all it toucheth Every good work and holy ordinance To the unclean all things are unclean The Word Prayer Sacraments Alms every thing is polluted by that touch Corrupt qualities are more apt to hurt than sound to heal one rotten sheep may infect the whole flock but cannot bee cured by them One filthy ragg stained with the plague may infect a whole pack but the clean garment cannot purifie it If a common garment touch holy flesh the garment is not sanctified but the flesh polluted The prayer of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord. Sin mixed with Gods ordinances is like poison mingled with wholesome meat that corrupteth it for our use and nourishment Mark and consider well the effects of sin O my soul the waters of this fountain are bitter the fruits of this tree unsavoury They that sow iniquity shall reap vanity and they that follow vanity forsake mercy Affliction pursueth sinners and shall overtake them to their cost without question the wages of sin is death Look as it is with men if they turn themselves from this aspectable light they are forthwith environed with darkness So man turning away by his sin from God the Father of lights from whence every good gift cometh hee cannot but bee forthwith in outward and inward darkness By reason of sin the soul is dead in ignorance and lust So that they have in them a seed apt to bring forth every sin Our bodies have mortality as a worm corrupting them our conditions are exposed to a thousand vanities and wearisome courses and these are the beginnings of evil Despair darkness fear horrour and shame are the companions of sin disgrace sickness poverty loss of goods the best fruit it beareth Hast thou lost any blessing sin hath robbed thee of it dost thou want any good thing sin keepeth thee from it art thou annoyed with evil thy perdition is of thy self sin sets man at odds with God the Law his own conscience all creatures and with himself Oh what a drudge is man made to his lusts by sin what confusion vexation bitterness doth lodge in the heart continually Look into the world and see what desolations it hath made How are the mighty slain and glorious Kingdomes laid on heaps Is not sin the cause of all disorders wars confusions bloodsheds famines and pestilences that ever were in the world The sorrows of this life are many and grievous but nothing comparable to spiritual and eternal miseries that sin bringeth with it Oh that thou didst behold how miserably the soul is mangled defaced wounded imprisoned by it the light of nature terrour of conscience power of grace is not able to set forth or comprehend the desert and fruit of sin for the full wrath of God which shall bee executed upon the ungodly exceedeth all that can bee imagined If the wicked prosper for a time sin turneth their blessings into curses The Table and by proportion the wealth strength and honour of the wicked are dangerous
doth look to God when hee sendeth persecution war sickness or any other calamity God is to bee loved in Christ in whom hee is well pleased greatly delighted in us If any man love not the Lord Jesus let him bee accursed Christ hath redeemed us unto God and reconciled us being enemies Hee is ordained of God to be our Lord and King advanced at the right hand of his Father to give salvation unto Israel Love is a supernatural gift or Grace whereby wee * Psa 63.8 Josh 22.5 Deut. 4.4 cleave to God in Christ and desire to possess him with joy and comfort The acts or effects of Love presupposed or comprehended under it are these First To acknowledge God to bee the chief good and with most earnest desire to bee carried towards him that wee might bee united to him Secondly To rest delight and rejoyce in him and to desire nothing above him nothing against him nothing equal unto him Thirdly To seek the advancement of his glory and to think will speak or do what is acceptable in his sight whether wee have to deal immediately with his Majesty or others pertaining to him Hee that loves God will love what the Lord loveth and hate what hee hateth do what hee commandeth and forgo whatsoever is forbidden Whose keepeth the Word 1 Joh. 2.5 in him verily is the love of God perfected Fourthly To neglect no occasions which are or may bee offered for the exercise of piety Love is diligent and laborious Fifthly To love them that fear God for his sake and to draw as many as possibly they can to the knowledge and obedience of the truth If wee love one another 1 Joh. 4.12 God dwelleth in us and his love is perfected in us The Properties of Love are First It cannot bee lost the act of Love may bee intermitted but the grace cannot bee lost for the gifts of God are without repentance the life of grace is everlasting Secondly It is imperfect in this life and ever wanting somewhat that may bee added to it for as long as wee live here it is far short in degree to that the Law requireth Thirdly It is sincere and entire for nature though for degree defective True love is not maimed in parts though it bee not come to full growth Fourthly It increaseth by degrees in this life and shall bee perfected in Heaven When Faith shall cease then Love shall come to full strength and glory Not that the Saints can love God in measure answerable to his goodness and excellency for a finite virtue cannot infinitely love the infinite God the infinite Beloved but their love shall bee preserved so far as a creature is capable Fifthly It is most pure and comfortable free from all mixture of sorrow and vexation Men though never so loving are compassed with infirmities subject to passions and many things may befall them they may do somewhat that is to us occasion of grief and pain but in the Lord each Christian heart shall ever finde matter of solace and refreshing never of vexation and discomfort if the fault bee not in himself Oh the excellency of Love what is it but the gate of Heaven the beginning of everlasting happiness not the least portion of that glorious inheritance which wee shall then fully possess when love is grown to perfect ripeness The degrees and kinds of love are diverse Wee love God for good things received or benefits past wee love him also for the good wee expect that is eternal happiness with the comforts of this life and wee love him for himself and for his own glory God is to bee loved for himself and not for another end form or efficient for hee is the last end of all things his essence is perfect goodness his goodness is from himself and not from an external efficient but nothing hinders why God should not bee loved for his blessings received or hoped for Each grace of the Spirit is for original divine in nature excellent for use necessary bending towards Heaven but if comparison bee made love must have the preheminence for use and continuance The dignity and sweetness of love will appear by the baseness of what is opposite That is best whose contrary is the worst Now what is more abominable hateful pernicious so full of vexation and horrour as the love of sin love of the world and hatred of God As continual fear unquietness discontent doth accompany these with eternal confusion in the latter end So unspeakable joy peace contentment security do wait upon it and the end shall bee everlasting glory and full fruition of God in Heaven Quest How must these things bee applied to the heart Answ Wee must stir up our hearts to the hearty intire love of God by examination taking shame to our selves for our manifold slips and great slackness complaining of our great bondage and inability to raise up our souls hearts wishing and longing to bee fired with the love of God calling upon our selves to bee more hot and fervent and seeking unto the Lord by earnest and hearty prayer Love the Lord Oh my soul and all that is within thee love him with all thy strength and let his glory bee dear unto thee for hee is the object of love gracious Affectus amoris pro objecto habet pulchrum bonum merciful long-suffering abundant in goodness and truth hee is thy Father thy God thy Husband thou art bound unto him by covenant his love to thee is free and of meer grace thy love to him is debt many waies due from thee deserved by him Hee loves thee for thy profit thou art to love him for thy own good for in his love stands thy perfection Hee is the chief good absolute all-sufficient the rest and stay of the mind beyond which it can desire nothing in whom it findes incredible joy and comfort and shall possess everlasting consolation when it is immediately united to him by vision and love The former blessings thou hast received the future good things thou dost expect and look for do challenge this duty at thy hand Publicans and sinners love those that love them and for kindness return affection God hath loved thee first loved thee when thou wast not when thou wast miserable Hee hath laden thee with his benefits given thee more than thou wouldest desire and prevented thee with favours which thou never didst ask hee made thee of nothing hee is thy preserver redeemer Saviour who hath delivered thee from death and hell and vouchsafeth unto thee life and mercy his blessings upon thee are innumerable pass all thought and reckoning What canst thou render less than hearty affection for these inestimable favours Oh my soul thou canst not love thy self truly if thou love not him above all things for thou art coupled to him by love in whose presence is fulness of joy without whom to bee is to bee most miserable Thou canst not but desire happiness but happy thou canst
not bee without love But ah wretch that I am I finde mine affection is weak toward God strong to vanity Those wee love do wee not love to bee present with them If they bee absent do wee not think long till they return again Are wee not grieved to hear them wronged by word or deed whom wee esteem dearly of are wee not desirous to give them content doth it not cut us if wee do them any harm Are wee not with them in thought though absent in body glad of a letter that comes from them is not the messenger welcome that can bring us tidings of their welfare But I finde little joy in coming publickly or privately into Gods house or presence I think little of him and that but overly I speak little to him and that not without weariness and distraction Nay I am like those children who can play abroad all the day long and never care to look unto their Parents When did my heart long to return home and to bee with Christ Though God through sundry troubles do even smoak mee out of this world yet I will not come away in mine affection When I see Gods name blasphemed and all wickedness committed do mine eyes gush out with tears or do not I offend daily and pass it over taking too light penance of my self It is irksome to mee to do his will I do not long for his presence nor bewail his absence I do not study to please him in all things nor can I rejoyce in the prosperity of his Saints when I my self am in misery and distress I cannot prize his favour am not cheared with his promises do not delight in his statutes above all things His Word is his Letter sent unto mee but I am not glad and diligent with care and conscience to read it vanity hath stollen away my heart and the transitory bewitching pleasures of the world which cannot profit have taken up my thoughts This hath been mine impudent behaviour against thee my God which I cannot with any words of indignation sufficiently discover If a woman should bee dead in the nest when her husband were before her but should bee affectionate to every stranger if shee should not care how long shee were absent from him but think her self best while they were asunder if shee cared little how her loving husband were offended casting that at her heels which hee takes to heart were not this shameless behaviour in her And shall I not bee ashamed to shew no more love to thee to whom my soul is married in Christ Oh my soul what canst thou finde in the world why thou dost affect it it hath bred much vexation and sorrow thou hast been crossed and molested with it the more thou lovest it the greater trouble discontentment thou findest therein and wilt thou still take pleasure in thy pain what canst thou not finde in God and that above all thought and conceit why thou shouldest intirely cleave unto him what occasion couldest thou finde at any time to draw thy affection from him wilt thou leave the fatness and marrow that is in the house of God to feed upon the refuse and scraps that this world affords Ah wretch that I am who shall deliver mee from this bondage of sin I am full of uncharitable and false love I can love my self I have affection enough to the things of this world to the gifts of God and those the meanest more than to the giver as harlots to rings gold bracelets more than to the sender But I have not power to raise my soul to the love of God in Christ here my affections lye dead and will not mount aloft Oh that the love of God did possess my reins in such sort that in thought I might bee still with him rejoyce in his presence and walk before him in dutiful obedience Oh that my heart did burn with love that is strong as death hot as coals of Juniper that hath a vehement flame that no waters can quench no floods can drown no allurements can draw aside Why art thou so dead Oh my soul why dost thou not lift up thy self to the love of God whom hast thou in Heaven but him and who in earth is to bee desired in comparison of him for whom dost thou reserve thy prime affection for the world sin vanity Oh adulteress knowest thou not that the amity of the world is enmity with God thou hast gone astray and deeply defiled thy self with the love of sin return now unto the Lord and embrace him with most intire and dear affection what thou hast bestowed upon the world pleasure lusts carnal delights to thy great discomfort now set it wholly upon things above that it may finde rest and comfort Oh Lord I beseech thee who art only able to purge my heart of all filthy prophane love and to fill it with the pure love of thy holy Majesty this is thy promise I will circumcise your hearts and make you love mee with all your hearts therefore I am bold to make this prayer and will confidently wait upon thee for this mercy Quest How should a man proceed to meditate on the Fall of our first Parents Answ Hee must consider the subject causes and end of that act aimed at but not obtained the degrees properties and effects of it By the Fall of our first Parents wee understand the first sin of Adam and Eve whereby they transgressed the Commandement of God in eating the forbidden fruit this is fitly so called because as an heavy body falling upon some hard and sharp rock is greatly bruised and hurt so man after hee had received so many and great gifts from God sinning wickedly against his express charge and commandement did grievously wound himself The subject of this transgression was our first Parents Adam and Eve made after the Image of God perfect in stature of body and strength of mind enriched with excellent prerogatives of liberty and dominion planted in a garden of delights that they might dress it and keep it favoured of God and admitted into near fellowship with him The principal outward cause of mans disobedience was Satan the Prince of darkness that old murtherer who being fallen from God and shut up under condemnation did with incredible fury and malice seek the dishonour of God and the destruction of mankind This envious one spying his opportunity set upon the woman as the fitter to be made his prey when shee was alone and by his subtilty beguiled her The Serpent the most subtil of beasts which the Lord had made was the instrument that hee used to seduce the woman and the woman her self being first in the transgression was made the willing instrument of her husbands destruction The quality of the fruit as it was good for meat and pleasant to the eye was by accident a cause that moved them to eat which yet they might and ought to have forborn having liberty to eat of all the trees
of God and destruction of mankind by that temptation but it turned to his confusion and overthrow The seed of the woman hath bruised the Serpents head his power is crushed and his devices frustrated Nor did the instrument of the Devil escape unpunished the Serpent is accursed above all the beasts of the earth most wretched and ashamed to appear abroad hee is adjudged to creep upon his belly with pain to eat the dust for meat a grievous diet And the Lord hath put enmity betwixt him and the woman All sin especially prophanation and contempt of the Sacrament is like to this of our first Parents in some sort but this was the first sin the fountain of all sin the sin of man and his posterity for Adam received and lost integrity both for himself and us Quest How are these things to bee applied unto the heart Answ Wee must work our heart to humiliation stir up our selves earnestly to seek help and deliverance and acknowledge the justice of God in correcting and his incomprehensible mercy in vouchsafing means of recovery unto man How is man fallen from his first dignity and good estate hee was created holy and happy furnished with grace and set in place of high renown Thou Lord didst crown him with glory and honour and gavest him a patent for his posterity that they should live in blessedness before thee But wo is mee what alteration do I finde Man hath sinned and God is displeased Man that was the beauty of the world the beloved of God is now the map of misery the object of divine revenging justice His mind is besotted his conscience unquiet his will and affection poisoned with sin fear dread horrour and trembling possesseth his reins his body is naked deformed subject to annoyance of heat cold distemper many waies The Free-man of God the Lord of the creatures is brought into most miserable and sore bondage unto Satan sin his own conscience who can comprehend the miseries of this life whereunto hee lyes open No words can describe the spiritual plagues that are seized upon the soul already nor the dreadful torments that are prepared for him in hell for evermore Oh my soul enter into thy self consider and bewail thy natural estate thou art exposed to suffer a thousand evils to wearisome vanity in every thing yea through fear of death the upshot of evils thou art in bondage all thy dayes while in that state thou abidest Pharaoh did never put Israel to such hard service as the Devil putteth thee to while thou art under his power Thou art sick filthy naked crooked fallen from the love of God more odious in his eyes than the stink or filthy savour of a dead corps in the nostrils of man exposed to the torments of Hell shut up under the curse of the Law abidest under wrath How do men of the world take on when they have lost a great friend upon whom all their hopes depended when they bee cast from the top of honour into the gulf of misery poverty and disgrace weep oh my soul and pour out tears in secret for thou hast lost thy glory art spoiled of thy ornaments and hast provoked the Lord to anger by thy inventions The brute beasts take it as a grievous thing to bee insnared and taken and wilt thou laugh in the midst of bondage and count it liberty to bee a slave of Satan Death is terrible and wilt not thou fear Hell which followeth after it as a desert of thy transgression Ah miserable man and the more miserable that thou art senseless of thy misery yet now that I know my disease I will seek for remedy The sick person will take bitter pills to recover health the bondman desires liberty the captive freedome the condemned a pardon My present case is very wretched and in no case to be rested in Nature teacheth all creatures to shroud themselves from dangers or being in distress to seek help without delay much more am I to bee moved with mine estate who am subject to eternal death which hath already seized upon mee in a spiritual death of soul and mortality or dying state of the body wee will meet a disease betime labouring to rid our selves of it if any thing threaten our name and estate wee will indeavour quickly to free the one and the other But whither shall I fly for succour where shall I finde the Physician that is able to cure and redeem mee from the tyranny of Satan Set mee free from the fear of Hell I am even at my wits end not knowing which way to turn Oh Lord I am utterly destitute of all means to help my self it is not in my power to satisfie thy justice overcome death or deliver my soul out of the hands of the Devil I cannot think a good thought I know not nor of my self can know the way of Life or means of my recovery Blessed God as of thine infinite mercy thou hast ordeined so I pray thee reveal unto mee the way how I may escape eternal death deserved by my sin and bee made partaker of everlasting happiness through thy special grace Righteous art thou oh Lord and just are thy judgements I know that in very faithfulness thou hast afflicted mee and that I have deserved much more than ever I felt from thee Thou mightest have cast mee for ever out of thy presence and given mee my portion with the Devil and his Angels But loe thou dost correct mee in measure for my good to purge mee from sin and bring mee unto repentance that I might bee saved Oh my God I will magnifie thy name for thou hast redeemed my soul from death my darling from the power of the doggs This mercy was not shewed to the Angels Creatures more excellent than man Should one redeem us from the state of villanage or ransome us from the Gallows wee would think wee could not bee thankful enough But Lord thou hast redeemed mee from revenging Justice from the power of the Devil holding mee under the curse from the power of conscience justly condemning mee from the power of sin commanding as King How great is thy mercy towards mee I am not able to comprehend it As my sin and misery hath abounded thy mercy hath abounded much more Quest Let us now hear what order is to bee observed in Meditation of sin Answ Wee must call to minde and discourse with our selves of the causes ends properties and effects and kinds of sin what is contrary unto it what like and what unlike O my soul what is sin wherewith thou art beset and stained yea miserably besotted since the fall of Adam what is it but the privation of Gods Image and corruption of the soul an aberration from the rule of perfection an evil disposition of the subject turning aside from the path of life and swarving from the mark and end that all should aim at God is the fountain of all good things the giver of every good and
snares wherein they are caught to bee destroyed It is misery to sail to Hell with the pleasantest wind and to live in fat pastures to bee fed unto eternall slaughter This cursed sin is a monster of many heads a serpent with many stings the kinds cannot easily bee reckoned the number passeth all count It is original that is born and bred with us or actual that is brought forth by us That is the filthy corrupt fountain this the filthy stinking puddle water that runneth from it that the cursed root this the bud and blossome of that venemous tree Again there are sins of defects omission and commission for sometimes the soul worketh for matter that which is required but in other manner than God hath prescribed Sometimes it doth suspect and ceaseth to move after the good commanded and sometimes it doth move it self to something which is forbidden which is the greatest and highest kinde of evil For as in a wife not to love her husband is a great lewdness but not only to neglect his love but to turn to the embracement of strangers is much more hainous So for the soul not to cleave to God in doing righteousness is sinful but to leave him and turn to love and like any kinde of unrighteousness this is most sinful Moreover it is either inward lurking and boiling in the heart by evil thoughts motions desires wishes consent or want and slackness to think devise remember and effect what is praise-worthy or outward breaking forth in life and conversation both in word and actions Sometimes it liveth in us but lieth dead and stirreth not with violence and sometimes it rageth boisterously and carrieth us headlong to that which is forbidden Sometimes it rusheth immediately and directly against God and sometimes it reacheth more properly to the hurt of our neighbour Oh my soul look into thy self and thou shalt finde the branches of this venemous tree to exceed in number Thou hast sinned against God thy neighbour and thy self thou hast sinned of ignorance infirmity negligence and presumption Thou hast been led away with the lusts of the flesh the lusts of the eye and pride of life Sin ever moveth oftentimes stirreth violently and over-ruleth many times to the committing of what is evil and hinderance of what is good Thou hast offended in that which is evil in it self and thou hast come short in that which is good and honest not doing it at all or failing in the manner measure and circumstances Who can tell how often hee offendeth The number of my sins cannot bee reckoned nor the filthiness discovered Piety is amiable lovely honourable sin loathsome and abominable The fear of the Lord makes the face to shine but impiety and sin dis-figure the face and Image of God in him The man that feareth the Lord shall bee praised but a vile naughty person is had in contempt of God and good men how great soever hee bee in this world The righteous is more excellent than his neighbour Grace exalteth the poor sin debaseth the mighty Godliness makes a man as like to God as a creature can bee like to the Creator but sin transformeth us into the likeness of the Devil No man is honourable but the virtuous none base but the sinner Sin is opposite to God in a sort not by an inward positive repugnance or contrariety to his nature such as is twixt fire and water but in respect of outward disagreement such as may bee in a creature from the Creator Even as the good created though it hath not an inward agreement with and resemblance to the Creator such as is betwixt nourishment and the thing nourished for then should the divine nature inwardly in it self bee better for it and necessarily will it yet hath it an outward agreement and resemblance So is it most true of sin that it hath no inward disagreement to the Divine Nature for then it should bee the worse for the being of it and so should necessarily nill it but outward only The venome and filthiness of sin is set forth by sundry comparisons in the holy Scriptures Sinners are compared to Doggs Swine Vipers Asps Bears Tygers Sin is known by the name of Rebellion Disobedience Filthiness Adultery Playing the Harlot It is likened to menstruous clouts filthy raggs that are cast aside upon the dunghil and detested of all that pass by It is a spiritual nakedness a spiritual leprosie a spiritual crookedness a spiritual drunkenness It biteth as a Serpent and stingeth as a Cockatrice creepeth as a gangrene or deadly canker that eateth to the heart and cannot bee cured It is hony in the mouth but gravel in the bowels sweet in the beginning but death in the latter end Oh my soul if thou peruse the holy Scriptures thou shalt finde no book no leaf no chapter nor scarce any verse wherein there is not some precept promise prohibition threatning or example which serveth to shew the amiableness of virtue and ugliness of vice and with what care zeal watchfulness the one is to bee imbraced and the other to bee shunned Quest How are these things to bee pressed upon the heart Answ Wee must work the heart to humiliation for sin stir up our selves earnestly to seek pardon and labour for grace to have sin in detestation for the time to come Is it even so Oh my soul is sin so loathsome and abominable odious to God contrary to godliness pernicious to thy state life and spiritual welfare more infectious than the plague more stinking than any carrion the rottenness and corruption of the soul condemned and cryed down in every book in every leaf and almost in every verse of the holy Bible Woe therefore and alas to mee that have so long layen under this burden and bondage and that even many times willingly and wittingly When I look into my self I can see nothing but a mass of corruption pressing mee down Mine understanding covered with ignorance vanity and folly I know nothing as I ought to know such deadness possesseth my heart that I cannot look up my soul is a very den and cage of unclean motions worldly desires corrupt projects vain boastings idle rovings but marvelous barren untoward toward that which is good Infidelity distrust pride self-confidence blockishness unthankfulness envy malice discontent covetousness do lodge with mee continually I was born in sin and it hath grown up with mee from my youth so that it is become exceeding strong an old stinking deep festered sore that can hardly bee cured My sins are multiplied exceedingly increase daily in number they pass the sands by the Sea and are become a burden too heavy for mee to bear When I remember these things I wonder at my self that I should bee thus senseless in the midst of all misery Were I descended of one that had been executed for treason and so were pointed at as a traiterous brood without inheritance in earth Had I but with my nature the stone or leprosie
or falling-sickness from my Parents I should bewail mine unhappy nativity But my condition is much more wretched for descending from the loins of Adam by natural propagation with my nature I received the poison of sin which hath corrupted every power of soul and like a running leprosie staineth all it toucheth I am unclean by birth and whatsoever I touch it is unclean Were I with Job from top to toe covered with biles it would grieve mee but my whole spirit is fraught with corruption more filthy than that which breaketh forth at the eye car c. I am ashamed of corporal nakedness deeply affected with lameness or deformity if overtaken with any loathsome disease I grow weary of the world and wish to bee separated from the society of men But the nakedness deformity corruption of soul and life is more shameful and loathsome filthy and abominable Deep is the stain that sin hath made and great is the danger that I am in by reason of my transgressions If I had offended the Law and stood as guilty to bee censured before the Tribunal of an earthly Judge with loss of liberty limbs or life I should bewail my estate and condemn my folly but I have broken the Law of God and stand guilty before him not of temporal but eternal death which the Law hath pronounced and I may expect every moment to bee executed upon mee Wherefore I abhor my self and repent in dust and ashes Oh that mine eyes were a river of tears and mine head a fountain of water that day and night I could bewail the misery into which I am plunged by reason of my sin But woe is mee what shall I do whither shall I fly for succour I am bound with the cords of sin who shall unloose them I am guilty before the Throne of Justice who shall acquit mee I am defiled who shall make mee clean Humble thy self oh my soul and fly unto the Throne of grace for with God there is mercy and with him there is plentious redemption against him thou hast sinned and with him there is forgiveness acknowledge thine iniquity that thou mayest bee received unto mercy judge thy self that thou mayest not bee judged How well is hee that sleepeth with his quietus est in his bosome In this regard Gods children have followed God more for this than for deliverance from evils that have been upon them Blessed is the man whose iniquity is forgiven and whose sin is covered Oh happy man who is stirred up to fly the wrath to come Thou art in danger to bee cast into the prison of Hell for thy debts thy sins which make thee debter of punishment to Gods justice Humble thy self compound with thy creditor before his heavy arrest bee served upon thee Shouldest thou have to deal with many men thou mightest have a cold sute but seek mercy of God none that cometh to him doth hee cast forth And now my soul bee warned for the time to come to take heed of sin turn from it with hatred and detestation bee purged from it as a thing filthy and abominable It is the most deadly poison a fretting leprosie a corruption in comparison of all others most detestable Wee would not suffer spots on our face nor lint or other soil upon our cloaths surely wee cannot make clean any thing but thou mayest thence take the rise of this thought how careful should I bee to cleanse my heart wee would not have any natural infirmities which are unseemly or filthy as wry mouths foul breeches lameness or halting in our gate c. But a tongue speaking perverse things rotten speeches crooked walking from Gods Law and the direction thereof are far more uncomely than the other If wee go by a foul stinking place wee stop our noses and haste away if an ugly shape present it self wee shut our eyes and indure not the view of it Thus shouldest thou Oh my soul with indignation turn from all filthy and abominable vices It is enough and too much that thou hast dishonoured God in time past and gone a whoring after strange lovers return now unto the Lord and keep thy self chaste unto him for ever To see a childe war with his loving Parents or a wife contend with her kinde husband is a detestable sight for any subject to rebel against his Prince is wretched lewdness but for one to rebel against such a Prince which out of his bounty hath most highly advanced him and done him favours from day to day this is most loathsome disloyalty Thus it is with sin which offendeth a most kinde and merciful Father who hath redeemed us from death and daily ladeth us with his blessings Oh that I could once finde out power and ability to weed out corruption and to pluck it up even by the root Oh that I were able to destroy the root and bud and branch of this cursed tree that it might never spring or bear fruit any more But alas I sensibly perceive that there is in mee no strength no more than there is in a sick man to recover himself or rather in a man stark dead to restore himself to life If I purpose to amend this or that which I finde to bee amiss I fail presently and come short of the accomplishment of my desire Oh who is it then that is able to deliver mee from the body of this death surely none but the Lord who hath made and fashioned mee to whom it belongs to kill and quicken heal and wound to thee therefore oh Lord do I make my moan to thee I render my humble petition and pour out my soul which hath sinned against thee Oh Lord I beseech thee for thy infinite mercy in Jesus Christ to take pity upon mee and to heal my soul which hath sinned against thee Wash mee thorowly from mine iniquity and cleanse mee from my sin Convert mee oh Lord and I shall be converted set mee at liberty and I shall run the race of thy Commandements Open unto mee the fountain of grace for the washing away of my sin and uncleanness It is thy property to have mercy it is thy free covenant to write thy Law upon my heart Thou hast promised to pour rivers of waters upon the dry and thirsty ground Thou invitest the barren soul to come unto thee for ease and rest O Lord have mercy upon mee for in thee do I trust thou art the well-spring of grace and mercy the fountain of life the author and preserver of grace unto thee do I commend my soul and upon thy merciful promise I will wait as long as I live Quest Let the work of Redemption bee the eighth Instance how are wee to proceed in Meditation on that work Answ In this work wee must consider the Author Subject Object Causes Ends Parts and Properties what is like and what unlike To redeem is to deliver from bondage and misery freely or upon exchange and to free from captivity by strong hand or