and supports And as for brute creatures you see that they make a doleful noise for the loss of their young a very short while and then they remember it no more Some of the people of Cous if I forget not used at the age of seventy years either to kill their parents or pine them to death and to rejoyce much at it They thought that they had lived long enough and that it was both a misery to themselves and a great burden to their children to have them continue any longer The Caspians also and some of the people of old Spain had the like custom which we well can inhumane and barbarous But why cannot understanding teach us that which want of understanding taught them Why should Barbarism make them rejoyce at what they did themselves and Christianity make us sad at what is done by God and the order of things St. Hierome reports that in his time there was at Rome a man who had had twenty wives marryed to a woman who had had two and twenty husbands There was great expectations which of them should die first and when the man buryed her his neighbours crowned him with Lawrel and caused him to bear a bough of Palm in his hand in token of a victory at his wives funerals It seems that men can sport at death if they list and laugh at that which makes so many cry Why then cannot reason make us moderately sad to bear that which humor and fancy can make men not to lament at all Why cannot our Religion do more with us then the people or our friends who it is like can laugh us our of our sorrows If I have not said too much in this argument I have some confidence that I have not said too little And indeed I have said more then I first intended and so much that if any one have the patience to read it through me thinks the very length of the discourse should make them forget their sorrows and by thinking so long upon another thing they should not remember what they thought upon before One soul is scarce big enough to hold all these considerations and the thoughts of grief also Here are so many that they are able to thrust sorrow out of doors by their multitude if not by their strength and force And yet notwithstanding I must detain you a little longer before I give your thoughts leave to turn themselves to other things For I am of the mind that all these considerations will only asswage the grief and pricking of the wound but will not quite heal it and take away its putrefaction I shall therefore commend two or three things for the pressing out all the filthy matter for the closing of the sore and to make the soul perfectly whole and sound Be dead to all things and thou wilt not be offended that they die §. 8. I. It is not their death but the life of something else that troubles us Mortifie thy spirit to the world and all things that are in it and when thou hast left them it will be no wonder that they leave thee Think with thy self often that thy friends are dead that thou seest them carryed to the grave that thou beholdest worms crawling out of their eyes and mouth and try how thou art able to bear that thought Think that he or she that lies in thy bed by thy side is as cold as a stone think that thou embracest the carkass of thy dear friend and ask thy soul how it can brook it Think thus often and though thy soul may start at the first yet at last it will be patient That little sadness will banish and chase away all the greater that else would seize on thee hereafter There will be little to do when death comes if thou constantly dost this Thy soul will be so loose from them that thou wilt not give a shrike none will bear the strings crack when you are separated Death will not be a breaking of your society but a fair easie untying of it Nothing will happen to you but what you have looked for long before and you will be able to say This is not the first time that I have seen my dear friend dead Yea think with thy self that thou seest thy own body laid in the grave and that thou feelest thy self as cold as a clod of earth Think that thou art turned into rottenness and dirt and that thou art forgotten by thy neighbours If thy soul can endure these thoughts then why should it be troubled at the death of another This is a kind of death to be so separated from thy body in thy thoughts It is all one not to be in thy body and not to feel that thou art in it Raise thy mind then up toward heavenly things fix thy thoughts on God and the life to come think that thou seest thy self in heaven among the Saints of God and while thy soul is there it is not in thy body here below This kind of death differs from that which will be hereafter in this only that then thou wilt be more perfectly out of thy body But if there be no trouble in this separation which thou now makest even whilest thou art in it There will be far less trouble one would think quite to part with it and to get from it And the way to be dead to these earthly things We must not let false opinions live is to change our opinion of them and to see them to be what indeed they are empty and unsatisfying changeable and unconstant Of this I have spoken before in the former discourse but seeing it is a thing so great and fundamental to our contentment let me again present you with it We are the cause of our own grief by magnifying the things of the world to such a value that the loss of them shall be worth so many tears We think that they are happy who are rich and honourable though they be never so wicked and unskilful how to live 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. L. 1. cap. 19. We presently cry up a man for wise and what not who to use Arrianus his phrase is preferred by Caesar though it be but to be Groom of his close-stool And on the contrary we dispise vertue if it be in a thred-bare coat and count him a fool who is unfortunate No wonder then that we cry and whine like children when we lose any of these worldly things seeing we think our selves more happy then men in the enjoyment of them We think that we are undone when we part with that which we have such an high opinion of and there is no way to make us think that all is safe but by altering of that forlish opinion We expect what cannot be and will not be content with what may easily be We cannot make the things of this world to be still and quiet but may make our selves so and the way to that quietness
thou dost now lament the death of thy friend Will it groan and sigh to think of the hole where its flesh lies Will it sigh to think that its old companion is then become the companion of worms If not then let it not groan so heavily for a less matter that is now befaln it If it will then why art thou troubled for thy friend and not for thy self to think how sad thou must one day be The fear of thy own death must more then equal thy sorrow for the death of another man And how canst thou have time to think of any thing else if thou dost fear it Or if thou dost not fear it how canst thou fall under thy sorrow who hast overcome so great a fear Dost thou intend to go crying out of the world If not then be not now dismayed at that which thou must bear so valiantly thy self Then do not mourn so much for the loss of anothers life which will but put self-love into a most piteous case when thou comest to yield up thy own Death is no strange thing as I have said for we must all die But then why should we mourn so much if it be such an usual thing If we do mourn excessively it is a sign we think not of the commonness of it and then how shall we take our own death seeing we think not of it Let us but comfort our selves upon solid grounds against our own departure and I will warrant you that shall cure all our other lamentations Let us but dare to die our selves and we shall not dare to cry so much for any mans death Isidore of Pelusium thinks that our Lib. 2. Epist 173. Saviour did not mourn for his friend Lazarus because he was dead for he knew that he was going to raise him from the dead but because he was to live again and to come from the haven where he was arrived back again into the waves and storm from the crown which he enjoyed to a new encounter with his enemies If thou dost not believe his interpretation yet dost thou believe the thing Dost thou seriously consider that the misery of this world is so great that we should rather weep that we are in it then that others are gone out of it Then I ask thee again whether when thou art dead and well thou wouldst willingly live again If not then thou knowest what to say to thy self concerning thy friends death If thou wouldst then it seems thou canst be contented with this grief and I will not go about to comfort thee seeing thou lovest life with all the miseries thou createst to thy self But the very truth is we are so sensible of our bodies and have so little feeling of our souls or divine things that it is ready to make us think we are not when our bodies are dead This makes death such a terrible thing This makes both our own and others death so heavy because it seems as if there were an extinction of us That which we feel not nor have any sense of within us it is as if it was not And therefore if we feel not heavenly things and perceive not that we have a soul we shall receive death as if it was the loss of our selves and then who can but be sad Let us live therefore in a sense of such things as may make us die willingly and think that we our selves are not lost and then we shall not think that we have lost our good friends nor lay their death so much to heart XI Ask thy self likewise Nor wilt thou be able to help others to bear their sorrows How wilt thou be able to comfort others if thou canst not comfort thy self It should seem by thy tears that thou art very ambitious of the name of a friend but if thou be not able to comfort thy friend what is he the better for thee and how didst thou deserve to have the friend which thou hast lost If thou art able or hast ever given any comfort unto others administer then the same cordials to thy self Why should not that satisfie thee which thou expectedest with so much reason should satisfie them What thou wouldst say to another if his friend was dead that say to thy self And if thou wouldst wonder that he should reject comfort then do not make thy self a wonder Didst thou never tell any man that it is a shame to be impatient when we can cure our selves that they suffer nothing but what God and nature have appointed that we must all expect such losses that no body knows whose turn is next Take then thy own counsel and be not such a Physitian as cannot cure himself at all Is thy distemper different from theirs are there not the same griefs and maladies in their mind Then the same medicine will cure thee that thou gavest to them Or if it would not cure them then thou wast much too blame that didst not seek a better both for them and thee Or is thine some strange loss the like to which never any suffered Then this may comfort thee that thou shalt never suffer the like again For it would be more strange if a thing that never comâ—s shall twice fall upon one man If it be so strange to thee then thy courage will be as strange to others If thou art drawn into an example of suffâ—rings then thou mayst render thy self an example to all of patience and contentedness And so Seneca saith of the Brother of Drusus that though Drusus dyed in the midst of his embraces and with his kisses warm upon his mouth thoug he dyed in the very height of his fortune with the most war-like Nations dead at his feet yet he not only put a measure to his own grief but taught all the Army how to be moderate also And indeed he could not have stopt the tears of others unless he had been of so brave a spirit as first to stop his own If thou art a friend therefore unto any let them all learn of thee how to be well satisfied Comfort thy self as thou hast comforted others or else as thou dost intend to comfort them And let it be seen by thy worthy behaviour toward thy self that thou art worthy to be a friend to another person XII Ask thy self again Death doth sometime befriend us Whether friends only be mortal Do none die but they that love us must not all our enemies and they that hate us die also Death then that makes thee sad may give thee comfort As it puts an end to some comforts so it is the common end of all miseries Though we may not wish for the death of any yet it is no harm to think that they must die who hate us and their rage shall not last for ever If nothing can cease their malignity yet death can It hath done us then no such wrong but what it can repay us with the same hand that did it Though we have now
our hearts The hands as Ant. Guevara observes do work the seet do walk the tongue speaks but it is the heart only that weeps The eyes are but the spunges of the heart through which its affections are drained and dried up An afflicted heart hath neither hands to labour nor feet to walk nor can it find a tongue to speak but tears are all that it hath to tell you what it wants And therefore we ought to reserve these for some greater thing then our dead friends which our heart ought much to be affected withall As our Saviour said to the women of Jerusalem when he was going to the most cruel sufferings so might our friends say to us when they are a dying Weep not for us but weep for your selves if you be dead while you are alive Mourn more then you do if you have not yet mourned for your sins and amended them But if you have then rejoyce in the favour of God and bless him for his Son Jesus who is better to thee then ten Sons or all thy friends which thou lamentest Are our sins dead as well as our friends have we buried them in the grave of our Lord are we risen again to an heavenly life let us go then to God and pray to him and praise him and this will give us ease But if we be troubled for sin then sure we shall not add another sin by immoderate sorrow and forgetfulness of Gods goodness If it be sin we hate then mourning complaints and discontents must all be hated Would you indispose your self to pray to praise God and meditate in his sacred Word Would you render your self unfit to receive the Sacrament of his most blessed body and blood If not then mourn but so much as will not hinder any of these and you have leave to mourn as much as you please Stop but here and there is no man will lay any restraints upon you But then how short your mourning must be you will soon guess and the Sun must not go down upon your grief no more then it must upon your wrath But if you take no great care whether you disturb your souls or no then you have most reason to mourn for that carelesness and neglect Go then and bewail your unkindness to God your unthankfulness for his mercies and unbelief of his Gospel for you can never take your hearts in a better time then when they are so sad and inclined to be sorrowful Tell them that now they are very well disposed for a necessary business and bid them look if there be not something else to bewail that is more considerable Ask thy self hast thou not deserved this and ten times more Wilt thou add another sin when thou shouldst cease all sins Hast thou not been careless of seeking God Hast thou not foolishly wasted thy precious time and art thou not troubled at all for that Yea art thou now impatient as if God dealt hardly with thee and wilt thou spend more time badly when thou art taught by the death of thy friend how short it is It is most incongruous thus to bewail the death of a child or acquaintance when thou art like to die thy self both body and soul And when thou hast mourned for thy sins thou wilt be taught thereby how little thou oughtest to mourn for thy losses For even our tears for sin must not be immoderate and therefore much less must we dare to let them flow in abundance for our losses So you know the great Apostle commands the Corinthians to comfort him that had been guilty of a great sin and receive him again into the Church now that he repented lest perhaps such an one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow 2 Corinth 2.7 I wish all those who are ready to destroy themselves with grief would seriously confider this that we may not over-load our hearts with grief for our sins themselves which are the causes of all other sorrows We cannot please the Devil better then by discontent He would fain oppress every good man with some passion or other let us take heed how we joyn with him against our selves If we have left his service that is enough to provoke him If we have bid defiance to his pleasures this doth incense him and we must expect that he will endeavour to overcome us with griefs The Devil is mad against all good men and therefore let all those who have irritated him against them beware how they now prove cowards and execute his vengeance for him with their own hands Let us take heed as Photius excellently expresseth it lest we be good at stirring up and provoking the envy and rage of our adversary but naught at resisting and overcoming him by patience and perseverance to the end 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 But if we must needs weep for the loss of something here let it be for the afflictions of the people of God Let us mourn to see the Church sit like a widdow in her black garments Let it pitty us to see the blood of Gods servants shed like water upon the ground If our own sins do not trouble us let us weep to see the wickedness of the world and let our eyes run down with tears to think that men do not keep Gods Law Some such channel we should cut for our tears and not let them spend themselves on this fashion about our own personal troubles This is a method both to stop our tears and likewise to make them useful to us while they run It is a way to ease us of our present grief and of all others also We shall exchange that sorrow that would have troubled us for a great deal of joy and comfort Whereas our worldly grief would have left the heart sad this will leave it light and merry Believe throughly that the Lord Jesus lives III. The life of our Lord Jesus gives us the greatest comfort against death and so thou maist both expect a resurrection from the dead and likewise hope for comfort from him when thou art left sad and desolate The Body it self doth not die any more then corn doth which dies that it may live and spring up again with large gain and advantage Are we loth to throw the corn into the ground and do we not patiently expect till the harvest comes Why should we then bury our friends with so many tears seeing they are but laid in the womb of their mother again that by the power of God they may have a better birth The Heathen could say much to comfort themselves but they knew not this comfort for indeed they were rather contented then comforted Those that did think themselves most wise and judged that they had the best supports did only dream that the soul might take another body and shift its place at several times But we know that there will be a time when even our scattered ashes will fly into one anothers embraces again and a new life
by our prudence and observation and taking those occasions which are offered us and Gods grace assisting of us It is not in our power alwayes to be in health or to be rich c. but when sickness or poverty comes we can make a good use of it and turn it into health and riches otherwayes 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Plutarch de tranquill The life of man saith Plato is like to a game at Tables wherein two things are considerable the one within our power and the other without The chance is not in us but to play it well is When we cannot have a good cast it remains that by our skill and art we make a bad one good Si illud quod est maxime opus jactu non cadit illud quod cecidit fortè id arte ut corrigas Terent. What shall fall out is not within us to chuse but to mannage and improve that which happens and turn it to our advantage by the goodness and the grace of God is within our selves and nothing that is without us can intermeddle or be an impediment to us in it Zeno I remember having lost all his goods by shipwrack sought for no Port but Athens and betook himself from merchandize to the study of Philosophie and so he revenged himself on Fortune as he called it by becoming a Scholar and an honest man crying out Jam benè navigavi cùm naufragium feci Now I made a good voyage when I lost all Such a story Nicephorus tells us of one Cyrus a Courtier in the time of Theodosius the younger who through the envious accusations of some favourites being spoiled of his goods of a Pagan he became a Christian and of a Christian a Priest of God and at last attained the degree of a Bishop So true is that which a holy Father said Those things are good Bona sunt ista unde facias benè non quae te faciunt bonum c. August Conc. 236. not which can make thee good but by which thou maist do good not which can do good but by which good may be done i. e. all things are as we use them and even prosperity cannot do us good of it self but we may use it to our good Just so I may be bold to say of adversity it can do us no harm but we make it do us harm it is not an evil that can make us evil but by which we may do evil There is reason then we should be of good cheer since things are as we please We need not be troubled since what befals us to our cross may serve a better end then that which we pursued If we be made better men more holy and severe in our lives more certain of heaven and more desirous to be there if we learn to know the world better to place less confidence in it and to expect nothing from it then there is no reason that we should accuse our Fortune For who is a loser that parts with a friend and gets God for his Father and commits himself to his providence That loses a Husband or a Wife and dwels for ever after in the arms of God and is enflamed with a greater love of heavenly things The world perhaps doth not love us have we not reason to thank it if it make us to place our comfort and contentment in God and a pure conscience They are unkind whom we have most obliged but we repent not that we have done such ungrateful persons good we still love them and lay up hereafter our hopes and expectation above and then when we cast up our accounts we find that we are gainers by them Thus in all cases we may say as he did O happy Providence my good Master 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that teaches me better then I could do my self who not only invites me but compels me unto vertue Now I am well because I was ill I have lost one thing and gained many God vertue and my self I have not what I desired but I have what I ought to have desired Another hath done for me that which I should have done my self Trouble makes every sad accident a double evil and contentedness makes it none at all If we will it can do us no harm if we give way to it we also wound our selves and joyn with it to make our selves miserable There is a perfect Embleme of our folly in the story of a simple rustick who going home out of the field laid the plough upon the Asses back and then got up himself also and observing the poor beast to be oppressed could find no better way to ease her but by laying the plough upon his own shoulder so loading himself and not at all alleviating her of her burden Our bodies are compared by the Ancients to the beast 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the mind they call the man the Soul is our self When the body is oppressed with many miseries by cares and grief we think to ease it when as alas we take not the loads off from it but only lay them upon our selves The same burden remains upon the poor beast and the man also bears it upon his back Like a Bird in the lime-twigs the more we flutter the more we are entangled and that which was but a single mischief before by our own follies becomes two or a great many But if we stir not at all but be quiet and still then we are what we were before this evill came only our souls have the addition of the greatest joy and pleasure by the victory we have obtained For it hath no small effect upon our souls that we can be joyful when there is matter of sorrow and that we can overcome the world and depend upon nothing for our happiness but God and our own souls Let us not sin then against reason as well as God Providence and Religion nor make our selves more miserable then we need be When we lose our estates let us not lose our constancy and our cheerfulness too if thou hast lost thy health do not lose thy patience also if thou must die a little sooner then thou thoughtest do not die unwillingly if thou hast no friend be not also thine own enemy if others vex thee do not also vex thy self if thou be ill to day be not also solicitous for to morrow Mat. 6. ult sufficient for the day is the evil thereof which are almost the very words of Ben Syra who gives this reason against such vexatious thoughts Perhaps to morrow shall not be and so thou afflictest thy self for that which nothing belongs to thee We multiply our evils by our trouble and bring those upon our selves which perhaps were never intended for our portion But our quietness disappoints the enemy and will weary him in his assaults when he sees that we do but grow better by what befalls us and turn it into victory and triumph So a wise man
own pains There is nothing that I can say will work as Physick doth in the body by its natural force whether you think of it or no but every thing must have the help of your serious consideration and you must frequently practice according to what you think As the things that will give us peace must be laid in our selves so they cannot be there laid without our selves They cannot be applyed to our minds as a Salve or an Ointment to our bodies but by the force of our own thoughts we must work them into our souls One thing more of this nature I must add but I will reserve it till the conclusion and now give you those rules that we must live by telling you as I pass along for what particular disease each one of them is a proper remedy CAP. V. KNow thy duty and do it Charge not thy self with more then thy duty as those do who think they must always be at prayer or hearing Sermons or reading spiritual books or do make rash vows nor with less then thy duty as those do who content themselves with the observation of some precepts or a seldom regard to their whole work but labour to understand what God requires and industriously labour to perform it For it is impossible that either of those in the extreams should be at rest the one never because he can never do all that which he thinks he ought the other not alwayes because his conscience will sometime rebuke him and tell him that he is an hypocrite i. e. a partial Christian An ignorant person therefore or an idle person can have no true peace We must be 1. inquisitive into the Gospel and labour to understand what we have to do 2. and then resolve heartily and endeavour seriously to do it all 3. and then enquire what remedy there is if we fail and fall short after these hearty and serious endeavours The first and last of these do most concern our knowledge the middle our practice And the knowing and doing according to our knowledge and making use of the Antidote when we have miscarryed will keep us in peace from that trouble which arises from sin A wicked man cannot be in peace if he understand himself and you must not think that I come to prescribe to any but those who will be Christs Disciples and follow him for to such the text speaks and a man of a weak understanding will not be in peace therefore we must grow in knowledge if we would be without trouble and a Christian that walks carelesly without observance of himself ought not to be in peace till he grow more watchful and then if he be surprized he knows where to take refuge But there is no sanctuary in Christ for a trifling and unguarded spirit without great sorrow repentance amendment and after-care and diligence We must understand that every indisposition of body is not a sin and that our peace must not be broken because we are not alwayes in the same temper nor cannot so cheerfully do our duty c. We must know that a sudden surprisal a hasty passion a sudden thought is not to break us all in pieces And on the contrary we must know that our voluntary admission even of these or letting of them stay our not watching against them and our frequent falling into that sin which at first did but surprize us must trouble us and there is no peace unless we grow better and more seriously mind our duty Study therefore the Christian Religion as it is contained in the Gospel and then thou wilt find there is but this one thing more to be done to keep thee in peace viz. a careful endeavour to live as thou art directed And the sum of the Gospel is this Tit. 2.12 Live soberly righteously and godlily and where after all our care we fail 1 Joh 1 7 9. If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and the blood of Christ cleanseth us from all unrighteousness This first rule I conceive will make very good way for all the rest into our souls and will have a kind of universal influence into us upon all occasions We need be offended at nothing if we have a care not to offend God And I think he said truly who affirmed That there is no Joy but in God and no sorrow but in an evil conscience As thou must know thy duty So labour to distinguish between thy own duty and another mans And this will keep thee from being troubled at the actions and carriage of men in the world towards thee and others If men slight us and despise us and speak evil unjustly of us and take away our good name yea if they take away our estates c. if we be not angry nor filled with hatred and despight nor retaliate their wrongs then it is not we but they that ought to be troubled Our duty is secured and therein we should rejoyce And I may take occasion here to observe that we may learn our duty by their ill behaviour and study the more to avoid those things in our selves which do so much displease us in others If we be at all troubled let it be rather for the sin of him that injures us then for out own suffering This rule may be put into other words which will make it perhaps comprehensive of more cases Let us consider what is in our own power and what is not There is nothing in thy own power but thy own will and choise all other things are in the hand of God or in the power of other men It was never in thy power to be handsome or witty or born of noble or vertuous parents c. why then art thou troubled about such things But it is in thy power to be good and vertuous thy self to have a beauteous soul and to be rich in good works c. and if thou be not thus then thou art concerned If mens tongues be unruly and their hands be violent and thou sufferest unjustly by both how canst thou help it Thou art not troubled if a Dog bark or an Ass kick because it is their nature and thou canst not rule their motions And here the case is not at all altered for the tongues of men are as little in thy hands as the mouthes of Dogs Sir W. Raliegh These do alwayes bark as a judicious Author speaks at those they know not and it is their nature to accompany one another in those clamours So it is with the inconsiderate multitude Since these therefore are wholly in anothers choice they fall not under thy deliberation and therefore are not fit for thy passion Our anger at him that reproaches us c. may make us miserable but it cannot prevent what he hath in his power Thou maist do well and none can hinder it but to meet with no opposition is not in thy choice Do what thou canst the world may make
all agree to put all the troubles and calamities of men into one heap on this De Consol ad Apollon condition that after every man had brought his and thrown them there then they should all come again and take every man an equal portion of them there would be a great many that now complain who would rather take up what they brought and go their ways contented with them And so Antimachus an Ancient Poet when his wife dyed whom he loved exceedingly he went and writ a Poem bearing her name wherein he reckoned up all the calamities that he could remember had befaln any in the world By this means he did deter himself from grief for how can one suffer the miseries which others endure if he cannot bear this light one of his own Fifthly It is better with us then with those of former times Let us compare our selves with the Ancient Christians Their children were snatcht out of their arms by the hands of tyrants They see their brains dasht out against the stones their friends were buried in fires or banished into strange places and they had no comforters left but God and themselves and their chiefest comfort was that they must shortly die the same death But notwithstanding all this and much more they did not take it heavily but 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 as Photius speaks They bare it all thankefully Epist 234. and blessed God who could tell how to govern the world beyond all the thoughts of men Let not us who suffer but common things weep with an extraordinary sorrow when they who suffered most unnatural deaths did bear it with more then natural courage They might have been allowed to have wept blood rather then we to shed tears And yet they rejoyced as if their friends had been offered in Sacrifice to God and we weep as if they had been put to some shameful torments for their crimes Shall we mourn more for the death of a friend then they for a butchery What arguments had they to comfort them which we have not What Scripture had they before their eyes to stay their tears which we read not If either of us have more to comfort us then the other it is we for we have their most excellent example And when I think of the Mother of the seven Brethren mentioned in the Macabees Mac. 2.7 she calls my thoughts back a little further then the times of Christ Did she wring her hands when she saw the skin of her son stead off from his head Did she cast any tears into the fire wherein another of them was fryed No she speaks as chearfully as if they were not stripping them of their skins but cloathing them with a royal robe She looks upon them not as if they lay upon a pan of coals but in a bridal bed She exhorted them being filled with a couragious spirit saying V. 21 22. I cannot tell how you came into my womb for I neither gave you breath nor life neither was it I that formed the members of every one of you But doubtless the Creator of the world who formed the generation of man and found out the beginning of all things will also of his own mercy give you breath and life again as you now regard not your own selves for his sake This marvellous woman as she is called v. 20. knew very well that she did not give them life and therefore why should she take so heavily their death She considered they were none of hers and why should not the owner take them She knew that she did not lose them but only restore them That life sometimes is not worth the having That unless God will have us live no wise man would desire to live That none gives any thing unto God though it be his own but he gives them something better And therefore she said Die my sons for that 's the way to live What poorness of spirit then is it that we cannot see a soul put off her cloaths without so much ado That a Jewish woman could see seven souls torn out of their body with more courage then a Christian man can see one soul quietly to depart and leave its lodging I would wish every one to save his tears till some other time when he may have some greater occasion for them If he will weep let it be when he sees the bodies of his children or friends so mangled as theirs were But if he would not weep out his eyes then let him weep soberly and not as if he were drunk with sorrow now After we have taken this course with our selves §. 7. IV. We must think with what reason we weep we shall be the more prepared to hearken unto reason And let us proceed from making comparisons to ask our selves some Questions and stay till they give a good answer Let us know of our selves why we are so sad and heavy Let us speak to our souls and say Tell me what is the matter what is the cause of all this grief thou art a rational creature what reason hast thou for all this sorrow Thou art not to be pittyed meerly for thy tears if thou canst cry without any cause Hideous things appear sometimes before us to affright us but they are the Chimera's of a childish imagination and not things really existent Let us bid fancy then to stand aside a while and let reason speak what it is that so troubles us Children cry who cannot speak and we are not much troubled at it because they cry for they know not what Unless we therefore can tell why we weep no body will pitty us because it is not weeping that we are to mind but the cause of mens weeping Let me then propose these questions to be answered some of which will discover that there is no cause of lamentation when our friends die And if there be no cause that the fountain of tears should run that is cause enough to stop it up I. For whose sake dost thou weep For the sake of him that 's dead or for thy own No cause of mourning for their sakes who are dead Not for him that is dead sure for we suppose him to be happy Is it reasonable to say Ah me what shall I do I have lost a dear friend that shall eat and drink no more Alas he shall never hunger again never be sick again never be vexed and troubled and which is more he shall never die again Yet this is the frantick language of our tears if we weep for the sake of him that is gone Suppose thy friend should come to thee and shake thee by the hand and say My good friend why dost thou lament and afflict thy soul I am gone to the Paradise of God a sight most beautiful to be beheld and more rare to be enjoyed To that Paradise am I flown where there is nothing but joy and triumph nothing but friendship and endless love There am
Every wise man intends some good to himself in what he doth and therefore unless sorrow will do us some good it is a foolish thing to indulge unto it But can any man that hath had his fill of it tell us what satisfaction it hath given him May we not put all our gains in our eyes as the Proverb is after they have wept so immoderately Doth any man say he is glad that he mourned so much Then he had best mourn again if there be so much gladness and profit in it Had we not better say with David concerning his child when it was dead I shall go to him but he shall not return to me I may bring my self in sorrow to my grave but I cannot bring him up from the dead I cannot water him with my tears as we do a dry plant that he may spring up again but I may easily drown my self and learn others by my example not to weep for me What I would not have them do for me why should I do it for another Why should I make my self miserable and make no body else the better The truth is if there were only no good in it it were the less matter but it doth us likewise not a little harm Though it will end of it self yet it may breed us no small trouble before it end This is all the comfort that such a man hath and it is a very poor one that if his grief do not kill him 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Phot. Epist 234. it will kill it self But many an one hath grief destroyed many a body hath it distempered and given most mortal wounds also to the soul it self Many affections move the soul most vehemently but none more then grief which hath been the cause of madness in some as Plutarch hath observed and in others hath bred incurable diseases and made others to destroy themselves And this it may do either naturally for nothing eats the heart so much as grief nothing casts such a damp on the vital spirits as immoderate sorrows or else providentially by Gods anger who is displeased to see us so angry and repining and often inflicts worse things upon us then those which we causlesly make the matter of so doleful complaints Let us therefore cease that which brings such troubles before it cease it self and when it is ceased gives us a new sorrow to think that we should be so unreasonably sorrowfull We must write upon this as well as upon inordinate joyes Vanity of vanities all is vanity and vexation of Spirit And therefore let us not be troubled now lest we be troubled more afterward to consider how foolishly we were troubled The Fable of Niobe which tells how she turned her self with sorrow into a stone doth but signifie the stupidity and dulness that waits upon grief and the excessive melancholy into which it sometimes casts us which renders us as insensible as a stone Take heed how you grow in love with sadness for it hath no profit wherewithall to recompence your affection to it but pays your folly only with it self and such diseases as ordinarily use to accompany it And we should be the less in love with it because there are so many occasions of it in our lives We need not weep so much for the loss of one thing for we must expect continual losses The world is not such a place that we should take care to spend all our tears on one thing we shall have occasion enough for them if we have any mind to weeping Let us bestow therefore the less upon one because there are so many to sollicite our sorrows And if our souls be tender and apt to receive the impressions of dolefull things we have the more need to comfort our selves for every grief will but make us still more apt to grieve And besides what a folly is it thus to die with continual grief for him who if he did grieve to die his grief continued but a little while He died but once why should we die alwayes with grief He dyed that he might live why should we live only for to die It is certain we must die but of all deaths let us not die with grief and much less for grief about that which we see we cannot avoid our selves But let us be furthest of all from making our life a perpetual death and grieving for that which by grief we may so soon run our selves into IX Ask thy self again Weep no more for thy friend then thou wouldst have had him weep for thee Whether two friends do not think that one of them must die first Do we not see that in the common course of things one man goes before another to his grave Who then if it had been permitted to thy choice wouldst thou have appointed to be the leader unto the other Wouldst thou have given thy self the preheminence and resolved to have shewn him the way Then Death it seems is a good thing for if it were evil we can scarce believe thy self-love is so little as to wish it might be thy portion before another And if it be good then thou mayest soon satisfie the pretence of loving them better then thy self by being glad that they enjoy it before thy self Or wouldst thou have had both gone together and been enclosed in the same Coffin and interred in the same grave Then it seems it is no such great mattter to die as thou makest it seeing thou art so willing to die also And if it be no great matter for thee to live then no more was it unto him If the sorrow of living without him be greater then the sorrow of dying with him why then was not he desirous that thou shouldst die and why did he pray for thy life and health when he dyed And if he would not have thee to die also when he dyed why dost thou then live in a kind of death and enjoyest not thy self nor the pleasures of life Either resolve to die also or else to live as a man should do X. If his death be so sad thou wilt not be able to bear thy own Ask thy self How can I take my own death Certain it is that thou must die also but if thou canst not part with a friend how canst thou part with thy self How wilt thou endure that soul and body should be separated if thou canst not shake hands with another body distinct from thy self Are not they the most antient friends is not their union most strict and close Can two men cleave so together as thy soul embraces its companion What then wilt thou do then when their bonds shall be untied if thou canst not bear the rupture of lesser cords of love What wilt thou think when thy soul sits on thy lips and gives thy body a farewell kiss if thou canst not close the eyes of thy friend without so many tears Will thy soul mourn after thy body is dead as