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the_o godly_a minister_n especial_o mr._n noah_n bryan_n mr._n timothy_n taylor_n mr._n samuel_n mather_n and_o the_o dear_a mr._n nathaniel_n mather_n all_o now_o with_o christ_n to_o profess_v that_o they_o never_o hear_v of_o or_o know_v any_o sinner_n come_v so_o near_o to_o paul_n as_o touch_v god_n method_n and_o way_n of_o work_v upon_o and_o deal_v with_o he_o in_o and_o after_o his_o conversion_n as_o i_o do_v and_o therefore_o they_o unanimous_o agree_v in_o judge_v that_o to_o publish_v the_o same_o be_v my_o duty_n the_o which_o they_o doubt_v not_o will_v be_v great_o useful_a and_o that_o both_o to_o saint_n and_o sinner_n on_o sundry_a account_n the_o sincere_a and_o upright_o heart_a nathaniel_n mather_n late_o of_o pinners-hall_n have_v several_a time_n chide_v i_o for_o my_o backwardness_n to_o so_o necessary_a and_o useful_a a_o work_n and_o a_o little_a before_o his_o death_n he_o at_o i_o again_o about_o it_o examine_v into_o the_o ground_n of_o my_o backwardness_n herein_o to_o who_o i_o reply_v sir_n there_o be_v two_o thing_n which_o hitherto_o have_v keep_v i_o back_o from_o publish_v this_o my_o experience_n and_o how_o much_o of_o satan_n there_o may_v be_v in_o it_o i_o can_v determine_v the_o first_o be_v the_o difficulty_n which_o attend_v my_o set_n down_o in_o write_v the_o work_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o adoption_n in_o doscover_v and_o apply_v christ_n unto_o i_o the_o remembrance_n whereof_o do_v so_o swallow_v i_o up_o and_o melt_v i_o that_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o see_v my_o paper_n for_o the_o tear_n of_o joy_n which_o obstruct_v my_o visive_n faculty_n to_o which_o he_o reply_v that_o it_o be_v pity_v any_o thing_n shall_v hinder_v i_o in_o so_o good_a and_o useful_a asleep_o work_n the_o second_o be_v the_o fear_n lodge_v within_o i_o of_o people_n not_o credit_v the_o relation_n i_o shall_v give_v hereof_o in_o case_n it_o be_v print_v for_o say_v i_o the_o great_a part_n of_o professor_n be_v so_o great_a stranger_n to_o 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sake_n of_o christ_n he_o that_o will_v take_v notice_n of_o a_o cup_n of_o cold_a water_n give_v to_o a_o disciple_n in_o the_o name_n of_o his_o disciple_n will_v i_o question_v not_o record_v in_o heaven_n the_o refresh_a wine_n i_o have_v drink_v at_o your_o table_n more_o than_o once_o and_o the_o silver_n and_o gold_n send_v i_o and_o give_v i_o by_o yourself_o whereby_o both_o i_o and_o my_o distress_a family_n have_v be_v keep_v from_o sink_v into_o the_o dust_n and_o albeit_o i_o shall_v at_o the_o great_a day_n of_o judgement_n appear_v to_o be_v a_o cast_n away_o from_o christ_n of_o which_o through_o infinite_a grace_n i_o be_o no_o more_o afraid_a than_o i_o be_o afraid_a that_o god_n can_v cease_v to_o be_v what_o he_o be_v yet_o your_o integrity_n and_o uprightness_n in_o what_o you_o
make_v to_o a_o window_n look_v into_o a_o pleasant_a garden_n i_o lean_v on_o the_o window_n with_o my_o elbow_n and_o so_o bear_v up_o my_o body_n from_o fall_v which_o otherwise_o have_v undoubted_o sink_v down_o under_o its_o present_a load_n and_o weight_n occasion_v by_o that_o temptation_n remain_v for_o some_o little_a space_n in_o a_o horrible_a tremble_v and_o amaze_a consternation_n of_o spirit_n i_o look_v out_o into_o the_o garden_n begin_v begin_v to_o consider_v and_o reason_n with_o myself_o thus_o how_o come_v these_o tree_n to_o grow_v thus_o orderly_o in_o this_o place_n who_o rear_v or_o build_v these_o sumptuous_a building_n sure_o not_o themselves_o why_o then_o think_v i_o if_o not_o themselves_o then_o of_o necessity_n they_o must_v spring_n from_o some_o cause_n high_a and_o more_o noble_a than_o themselves_o viz_o man._n then_o from_o the_o consideration_n of_o the_o tree_n and_o the_o building_n i_o begin_v to_o exercise_n my_o thought_n about_o man_n and_o other_o live_a creature_n think_v thus_o and_o how_o come_v man_n and_o these_o other_o live_v creature_n to_o have_v a_o be_v sure_o think_v i_o they_o can_v neither_o form_n nor_o quicken_v themselves_o and_o if_o so_o then_o of_o necessity_n there_o must_v be_v some_o cause_n of_o their_o be_v and_o live_v which_o be_v high_a and_o more_o excellent_a than_o they_o which_o can_v think_v my_o reason_n be_v no_o other_o but_o a_o infinite_o glorious_a god_n and_o this_o say_v reason_n in_o i_o may_v be_v evince_v not_o only_o by_o consider_v the_o particular_n already_o mention_v but_o by_o consider_v the_o frame_n of_o the_o world_n and_o the_o strange_a preservation_n of_o all_o thing_n therein_o and_o the_o wonderful_a government_n of_o the_o second_o cause_n wherewith_o the_o world_n abound_v these_o and_o sundry_a other_o of_o the_o like_a argument_n prove_v so_o strong_a and_o nervous_a to_o convince_v i_o that_o of_o necessity_n there_o must_v be_v a_o god_n that_o that_o temptation_n vanish_v the_o devil_n perceive_v himself_o foil_v in_o this_o attempt_n he_o set_v furious_o on_o i_o with_o blasphemous_a thought_n represent_v god_n in_o such_o vile_a shape_n and_o hideous_a and_o base_a idea_n to_o my_o mind_n that_o be_v i_o to_o undergo_v the_o utmost_a of_o misery_n that_o creature_n be_v capable_a of_o inflict_v or_o i_o capable_a of_o suffer_v i_o do_v humble_o hope_v in_o christ_n strength_n i_o shall_v unspeakable_o choose_v rather_o to_o be_v rack_v to_o death_n than_o but_o once_o to_o name_v they_o so_o vile_a hideous_a and_o horrible_a be_v they_o proceed_v rather_o from_o the_o enrage_a and_o revengeful_a malice_n of_o the_o devil_n against_o the_o majesty_n of_o god_n than_o from_o the_o corruption_n and_o pravity_n of_o nature_n these_o thing_n i_o do_v but_o glance_v or_o touch_n at_o not_o from_o any_o delight_n i_o take_v in_o the_o remembrance_n of_o they_o but_o rather_o for_o the_o relief_n of_o some_o poor_a tempt_v despair_v soul_n who_o probable_o may_v be_v conflict_v with_o the_o same_o fiery_a assault_n conclude_v within_o themselves_o as_o i_o often_o do_v that_o none_o belong_v to_o god_n can_v ever_o be_v possess_v with_o such_o black_a and_o dismal_a thought_n oh_o the_o gastliness_n and_o fearful_a tremble_n oh_o the_o sweat_v and_o weariness_n of_o my_o very_a life_n which_o these_o satanical_a injection_n cause_v in_o i_o a_o sure_a and_o convince_a argument_n they_o be_v immediate_o from_o the_o devil_n and_o none_o else_o the_o sin_n flow_v from_o the_o pravity_n of_o nature_n be_v common_o rather_o please_a and_o delightful_a than_o amaze_a and_o terrify_v to_o nature_n in_o this_o sad_a condition_n i_o continue_v so_o long_o till_o my_o very_a animal_n spirit_n be_v even_o drink_v up_o and_o the_o radical_a moisture_n of_o my_o body_n waste_v by_o that_o burn_a inflammation_n which_o i_o sensible_o feel_v invade_v and_o possess_v my_o body_n the_o pitiful_a and_o deplorable_a state_n i_o be_v in_o both_o in_o respect_n of_o my_o soul_n which_o i_o find_v be_v invade_v by_o the_o terror_n of_o god_n for_o the_o breach_n of_o his_o royal_a law_n and_o as_o i_o very_o conclude_v give_v up_o to_o satan_n by_o god_n in_o a_o judicial_a way_n to_o be_v possess_v by_o he_o as_o also_o in_o respect_n of_o my_o body_n in_o which_o the_o sad_a symptom_n of_o my_o approach_a doom_n do_v as_o i_o very_o think_v hourly_o appear_v such_o as_o the_o grow_a and_o increase_n of_o that_o burn_a inflammation_n already_o mention_v decay_n of_o my_o sight_n which_o necessitate_v the_o use_n of_o spectacle_n at_o the_o age_n of_o 25_o year_n the_o loss_n of_o my_o smell_a and_o taste_v for_o about_o three_o month_n with_o a_o great_a decay_n of_o my_o hear_v so_o ghastly_a a_o sight_n be_v i_o to_o behold_v that_o i_o become_v a_o spectacle_n of_o wonderment_n to_o all_o the_o family_n where_o i_o live_v some_o conclude_v that_o i_o be_v starve_v by_o my_o frequent_a fast_n other_o very_o conclude_v that_o spirit_n haunt_v i_o which_o cause_v in_o i_o such_o ghastly_a look_n and_o cause_v my_o body_n to_o bend_v and_o bow_n towards_o crookedness_n so_o heavy_a and_o insupportable_a be_v the_o load_n i_o lay_v under_o chap._n iu._n discover_v how_o the_o spirit_n of_o adoption_n succeed_v the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n and_o what_o glorious_a effect_n ensue_v thereupon_o the_o last_o day_n of_o my_o bondage_n state_n when_o i_o look_v for_o nothing_o but_o a_o go_v down_o to_o the_o nethermost_a hell_n in_o the_o unconceivable_a horror_n and_o amaze_a consternation_n of_o my_o spirit_n there_o be_v a_o place_n of_o scripture_n which_o run_v in_o my_o thought_n from_o morning_n to_o bedtime_n the_o place_n of_o scripture_n be_v esa_n 43._o 25._o i_o even_o i_o be_o he_o that_o blot_v out_o thy_o transgression_n for_o my_o own_o sake_n and_o will_v not_o remember_v thy_o sin_n this_o scripture_n get_v such_o hold_n of_o my_o mind_n and_o thought_n that_o albeit_o i_o no_o more_o understand_v the_o sense_n or_o meaning_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n in_o it_o or_o how_o it_o come_v into_o my_o mind_n that_o day_n than_o a_o pagan_a that_o never_o know_v any_o thing_n of_o the_o true_a god_n i_o can_v not_o possible_o keep_v my_o thought_n fix_v on_o any_o thing_n all_o the_o day_n but_o on_o that_o very_a scripture_n roll_v and_o tumble_a the_o bare_a word_n in_o my_o thought_n incessant_o thus_o i_o even_o i_o be_o he_o that_o blot_v out_o thy_o transgression_n for_o my_o own_o sake_n and_o will_v not_o rememberthy_n sin_n ay_o even_o i_o be_o he_o that_o blot_v out_o thy_o transgression_n for_o my_o own_o sake_n and_o will_v not_o remember_v thy_o sin_n and_o so_o all_o the_o day_n till_o bedtime_n i_o be_v somewhat_o astonish_v at_o the_o change_n which_o i_o find_v in_o myself_o in_o reference_n to_o my_o thought_n about_o the_o scripture_n for_o whereas_o before_o during_o the_o state_n of_o my_o spiritual_a bondage_n which_o be_v between_o three_o and_o four_o year_n i_o can_v think_v of_o no_o scripture_n but_o such_o as_o treat_v of_o damnation_n of_o fall_v away_o and_o of_o sin_v against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n always_o apply_v the_o same_o to_o myself_o desperate_o conclude_v that_o my_o own_o doom_n be_v in_o those_o terrible_a scripture_n set_v forth_o and_o discover_v i_o that_o day_n forget_v those_o terrify_a scripture_n and_o can_v as_o i_o say_v think_v of_o nothing_o but_o that_o place_n in_o esa_n 43._o 25_o above_o mention_v and_o that_o without_o the_o least_o apprehension_n what_o the_o sense_n of_o the_o spirit_n in_o these_o word_n shall_v be_v or_o how_o or_o wherefore_o that_o scripture_n shall_v make_v such_o a_o forceable_a entry_n on_o my_o mind_n and_o thought_n as_o to_o eject_v and_o banish_v from_o my_o thought_n and_o remembrance_n the_o other_o terrible_a scripture_n by_o the_o wrong_a application_n of_o which_o my_o state_n and_o condition_n become_v as_o to_o my_o own_o sense_n and_o thought_n equal_a to_o that_o of_o the_o damn_a at_o night_n after_o my_o lord_n have_v supp_v and_o while_o the_o inferior_a of_o the_o family_n be_v actual_o at_o supper_n i_o steal_v my_o opportunity_n resolve_v in_o myself_o that_o none_o shall_v know_v where_o i_o be_v or_o suspect_v what_o i_o be_v about_o up_o stair_n i_o get_v without_o a_o candle_n the_o night_n be_v moonshine_a i_o be_v all_o of_o a_o sweat_n and_o a_o strange_a horror_n fall_v on_o i_o occasion_v by_o the_o conceit_n and_o apprehension_n i_o have_v that_o the_o devil_n accompany_v i_o as_o a_o man_n up_o stair_n who_o step_n along_o with_o i_o i_o strong_o imagine_v i_o hear_v which_o cause_v i_o to_o keep_v my_o eye_n close_v for_o fear_v i_o shall_v see_v the_o devil_n in_o a_o visible_a shape_n while_o i_o be_v unlock_v
7._o jo._n 16._o 14._o jo._n 17._o 6._o ephes_n 1._o 17._o five_o he_o interrogated_a or_o query_v of_o my_o soul_n as_o follow_v 1._o be_v thou_o become_v true_o and_o thorough_o sensible_a and_o convince_v that_o thou_o be_v by_o depart_v from_o and_o sin_v against_o god_n a_o undo_v miserable_a and_o guilty_a creature_n have_v lose_v his_o bless_a image_n stamp_v on_o thou_o in_o adam_n thy_o natural_a and_o faederal_n head_n in_o the_o first_o creation_n and_o be_v now_o become_v obnoxious_a to_o god_n curse_n and_o the_o wrath_n to_o come_v and_o partaker_n of_o such_o a_o spiritual_a impotency_n as_o render_v thou_o utter_o uncapable_a of_o do_v any_o thing_n whereby_o thou_o may_v be_v deliver_v out_o of_o thy_o present_a folorn_a condition_n be_v thou_o conviuce_v that_o this_o thy_o misery_n be_v of_o thy_o own_o bring_n upon_o thou_o sinner_n answer_v o_o thou_o most_o holy_a just_a and_o tremenduous_a god_n by_o the_o light_n now_o spring_v from_o thou_o the_o fountain_n of_o all_o light_n into_o my_o dungeon-like_a soul_n i_o plain_o see_v what_o a_o wretch_n i_o be_o become_v no_o way_n like_o what_o thou_o at_o first_o make_v i_o in_o adam_n i_o be_o likewise_o full_o convince_v that_o this_o my_o misery_n be_v bring_v on_o i_o by_o my_o every_a way_n voluntary_a defection_n and_o apostasy_n when_o in_o adam_n loin_n i_o first_o yield_v to_o the_o motion_n of_o the_o tempter_n 2._o be_v thou_o convince_v of_o what_o the_o real_a desert_n and_o merit_n of_o thy_o sin_v against_o a_o holy_a and_o righteous_a god_n be_v what_o can_v thou_o say_v against_o god_n cast_v thou_o into_o hell_n for_o that_o hellish_a rebelon_n of_o thou_o against_o his_o holy_a and_o righteous_a law_n sin_n ans_fw-fr o_o thou_o most_o holy_a and_o everlasting_o righteous_a god_n who_o can_v not_o possible_o act_n amiss_o in_o any_o thing_n thou_o do_v with_o thy_o creature_n i_o be_o by_o the_o convince_v power_n of_o thy_o holy_a spirit_n make_v sensible_a that_o by_o my_o depart_v from_o and_o rebel_a against_o thy_o majesty_n i_o have_v forfeit_v that_o right_n i_o have_v in_o adam_n to_o all_o good_a spiritual_a and_o temporal_a and_o shall_v thou_o cast_v i_o into_o hell_n and_o assign_v i_o my_o portion_n with_o the_o apostate_n angel_n who_o conduct_n and_o wretched_a example_n i_o follow_v when_o i_o turn_v my_o back_n on_o thou_o thou_o be_v and_o will_v for_o ever_o be_v and_o remain_v a_o just_a a_o holy_a and_o a_o most_o righteous_a god_n my_o misery_n be_v of_o my_o own_o procurement_n and_o so_o far_o be_o i_o from_o reflect_v on_o thou_o as_o unjust_a shall_v thou_o throw_v i_o from_o thou_o for_o ever_o that_o i_o be_o amaze_v and_o astonish_v to_o think_v i_o shall_v be_v so_o long_o out_o of_o hell_n the_o place_n where_o i_o sometime_o evenlonge_v to_o be_v to_o try_v whether_o there_o be_v any_o specifical_a difference_n between_o the_o torment_n and_o misery_n of_o that_o place_n and_o what_o i_o feel_v in_o myself_o while_o shut_v up_o in_o thy_o law_n prison_n under_o the_o sharp_a and_o kill_a pedagogie_n thereof_o 3._o have_v thou_o view_v and_o take_v notice_n of_o that_o mediator_n which_o i_o have_v propose_v and_o discover_v to_o thou_o in_o the_o gospel_n do_v thou_o think_v or_o can_v thou_o be_v persuade_v that_o he_o can_v do_v thy_o work_n for_o thou_o viz._n save_v thou_o from_o curse_n and_o wrath_n to_o come_v and_o not_o only_o so_o but_o to_o restore_v thou_o and_o bring_v thou_o back_o again_o to_o the_o favour_n and_o fellowship_n of_o god_n do_v thou_o see_v in_o he_o a_o adequate_a suitableness_n to_o answer_v all_o thy_o necessity_n sinner_n answer_v o_o lord_n my_o eye_n be_v so_o intent_n and_o fix_v on_o that_o mediator_n that_o i_o can_v have_v no_o leisure_n or_o spare_v time_n to_o look_v on_o any_o other_o object_n in_o heaven_n or_o earth_n never_o do_v neither_o can_v man_n or_o angel_n behold_v or_o see_v such_o a_o object_n except_o himself_o the_o angel_n and_o all_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o whole_a creation_n be_v but_o darkness_n and_o deformity_n when_o compare_v to_o his_o surpass_v and_o incomparable_a amiableness_n and_o loveliness_n since_o i_o have_v the_o first_o glimpse_n of_o he_o as_o hold_v forth_o and_o discover_v by_o thy_o divine_a and_o efficacious_a manifestation_n i_o have_v forget_v my_o misery_n and_o the_o fearful_a thought_n of_o hell_n and_o damnation_n be_v swallow_v up_o of_o the_o thought_n and_o apprehension_n i_o have_v of_o his_o suitableness_n to_o answer_v the_o necessitous_a condition_n of_o such_o a_o sinner_n as_o i_o be_o 4._o have_v thou_o view_v and_o observe_v he_o so_o as_o to_o like_v he_o and_o choose_v he_o for_o thy_o reconciler_n and_o saviour_n what_o say_v thou_o poor_a sinner_n will_v thou_o have_v he_o for_o thy_o own_o it_o be_v personal_a propriety_n in_o he_o that_o make_v the_o thought_n and_o sight_n of_o he_o ravish_v and_o enrich_v for_o ever_o sinner_n answer_n o_o tremendous_a and_o astonish_a mystery_n of_o divine_a grace_n in_o send_v forth_o from_o the_o father_n and_o the_o son_n that_o holy_a spirit_n of_o promise_n that_o by_o his_o illuminate_a virtue_n and_o quicken_a power_n i_o may_v have_v such_o a_o save_a sight_n of_o christ_n the_o saviour_n as_o shall_v both_o beget_v in_o i_o a_o like_v to_o his_o person_n and_o likewise_o cause_n in_o i_o a_o burn_a desire_n to_o be_v unite_v and_o marry_v to_o he_o i_o be_o indeed_o sick_a of_o love_n to_o he_o and_o fill_v with_o such_o desire_n after_o he_o as_o nothing_o short_a of_o a_o mystical_a union_n to_o his_o most_o holy_a and_o glorious_a person_n can_v satisfy_v my_o thirst_a soul_n 5._o be_v thou_o willing_a that_o this_o mediator_n shall_v have_v the_o whole_a honour_n of_o save_v thou_o by_o his_o own_o mediatorial_n righteousness_n for_o as_o no_o righteousness_n of_o a_o mere_a creature_n can_v stand_v before_o the_o bar_n of_o god_n infinite_a and_o incomprehensible_a holiness_n and_o to_o abide_v such_o a_o trial_n as_o to_o be_v judge_v fit_a and_o sufficient_a to_o justify_v a_o sinner_n before_o god_n see_v that_o the_o righteousness_n to_o which_o such_o honour_n be_v reserve_v and_o assign_v must_v be_v the_o righteousness_n of_o god_n and_o also_o the_o righteousness_n of_o a_o sinless_a man_n so_o this_o mediator_n will_v become_v a_o saviour_n to_o none_o who_o will_v mix_v or_o join_v any_o thing_n of_o their_o own_o or_o other_o creature_n with_o his_o immaculate_n and_o all-sufficient_a righteousness_n the_o whole_a and_o entire_a work_n of_o reconcile_a and_o save_v sinner_n be_v devolve_v on_o he_o alone_o he_o will_v admit_v of_o no_o competitor_n in_o this_o work_n to_o which_o the_o father_n have_v call_v and_o anoint_v he_o and_o the_o which_o he_o himself_o as_o vademony_n and_o surety_n for_o god_n elect_n have_v undertake_v to_o go_v through_o and_o perform_v what_o say_v thou_o sinner_n be_v thou_o willing_a to_o this_o sin_n ans_fw-fr o_o thou_o holy_a of_o holy_n i_o see_v and_o find_v so_o little_a need_n of_o join_v any_o righteousness_n of_o my_o own_o or_o other_o creature_n to_o the_o complete_a and_o perfect_a righteousness_n of_o this_o mediator_n that_o i_o be_o resolve_v to_o look_v no_o where_o else_o for_o a_o righteousness_n whereby_o to_o be_v justify_v and_o save_v i_o be_o full_o convince_v that_o as_o he_o need_v no_o coadjutor_n to_o help_v he_o out_o in_o this_o work_n of_o save_v sinner_n see_v he_o be_v the_o holy_a and_o almighty_a one_o of_o god_n able_a to_o save_o to_o the_o uttermost_a so_o i_o see_v nothing_o like_o a_o legal_a righteousness_n which_o can_v answer_v the_o demand_n of_o the_o strict_a and_o righteous_a law_n of_o god_n either_o in_o myself_o or_o any_o other_o mere_a creature_n whatsoever_o whatever_o therefore_o be_v or_o can_v be_v suggest_v or_o object_v by_o the_o devil_n or_o carnal_a reason_n against_o this_o righteousness_n of_o he_o as_o insufficient_a to_o save_o i_o be_o by_o strength_n from_o above_o fix_o resolve_v to_o cast_v my_o weary_a bleed_a soul_n thereon_o come_v life_n come_v death_n 6._o there_o be_v a_o thing_n call_v the_o cross_n which_o thou_o must_v expect_v and_o look_v to_o meet_v with_o if_o thou_o resolve_v to_o live_v and_o reign_v with_o christ_n in_o heaven_n hereafter_o thou_o must_v look_v to_o part_n with_o all_o that_o in_o this_o world_n be_v near_o and_o dear_a to_o thou_o for_o his_o sake_n and_o the_o gospel_n thou_o must_v sacrifice_v thy_o reputation_n and_o credit_n among_o men._n thou_o must_v become_v willing_a to_o be_v account_v a_o fool_n a_o madman_n a_o turbulent_a fellow_n a_o enemy_n to_o caesar_n a_o separatist_n from_o the_o church_n thou_o must_v not_o think_v or_o look_v to_o be_v advance_v to_o worldly_a wealth_n and_o
felicity_n when_o at_o any_o time_n i_o hear_v they_o talk_v boast_o of_o the_o honour_n and_o credit_n of_o the_o family_n i_o can_v not_o forbear_v express_v my_o contempt_n of_o the_o same_o tell_v they_o to_o their_o very_a face_n that_o the_o blood_n of_o jesus_n not_o the_o blood_n of_o my_o progenitor_n according_a to_o the_o flesh_n be_v that_o which_o make_v i_o noble_a and_o true_o honourable_a and_o that_o he_o or_o she_o who_o be_v advance_v to_o the_o high_a degree_n of_o honour_n whereto_o a_o earthly_a king_n can_v possible_o advance_v and_o be_v not_o wash_v in_o the_o lamb_n blood_n the_o high_a their_o honour_n and_o greatness_n be_v the_o great_a and_o more_o intolerable_a will_v be_v the_o doom_n and_o condemnaton_n of_o such_o when_o by_o death_n they_o go_v hence_o now_o i_o begin_v to_o disrelish_v and_o discover_v what_o small_a èsteem_n i_o have_v of_o the_o liturgy_n and_o ceremony_n of_o the_o church_n of_o which_o i_o have_v former_o be_v so_o extreme_o zealous_a three_o thing_n chief_o occasion_v this_o first_o the_o apprehension_n i_o have_v of_o the_o purity_n and_o holiness_n of_o god_n nature_n which_o require_v a_o worship_n suit_v to_o his_o own_o pure_a and_o spiritual_a be_v according_a to_o that_o in_o joh._n 4._o 24._o second_o i_o considere_v that_o no_o worship_n can_v possible_o find_v acceptance_n with_o god_n but_o such_o a_o worship_n as_o be_v stamp_v with_o god_n own_o institution_n which_o i_o be_v then_o apprehensive_a and_o be_o now_o more_o full_o convince_v the_o liturgy_n and_o ceremony_n of_o the_o church_n be_v not_o the_o same_o be_v devise_v by_o man_n and_o impose_v by_o human_a authority_n without_o any_o the_o least_o warrant_n from_o the_o word_n of_o god_n according_a to_o esa_n 8._o 20._o esa_n 29._o 13._o mat._n 15._o 8._o 9_o three_o the_o sad_a experience_n i_o have_v of_o the_o vusuitableness_n of_o such_o a_o worship_n to_o a_o awaken_v and_o a_o renew_a soul_n while_o i_o be_v in_o a_o natural_a state_n ignorant_a of_o god_n and_o the_o nature_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o thing_n true_o spiritual_a i_o be_v exceed_v zealous_a in_o do_v and_o perform_v that_o service_n which_o now_o i_o find_v be_v of_o little_a avail_n either_o to_o a_o please_a god_n or_o profit_v a_o awaken_v conscience_n the_o spirit_n of_o god_n have_v in_o effectual_a call_v teach_v and_o convince_v i_o that_o no_o worship_n or_o ordinance_n in_o religion_n can_v be_v food_n to_o nourish_v and_o satisfy_v a_o hungry_a soul_n but_o such_o worship_n as_o be_v institute_v by_o and_o suit_v to_o please_v god_n god_n will_v be_v find_v saving_o of_o none_o but_o those_o who_o seek_v he_o in_o the_o way_n of_o his_o own_o institution_n according_a to_o prov._n 8._o 32._o 1_o pet._n 2._o 2._o soon_o after_o this_o the_o care_n and_o providence_n of_o christ_n my_o chief_a sheppard_n direct_v i_o to_o attend_v the_o ministry_n of_o mr._n samuel_n mather_n with_o who_o i_o afterward_o sit_v down_o in_o full_a communion_n to_o my_o soul_n great_a comfort_n and_o edification_n in_o the_o knowledge_n of_o christ_n notice_n be_v take_v in_o the_o family_n where_o i_o live_v that_o i_o discontinue_v go_v to_o the_o cathedral_n worship_n the_o which_o i_o common_o attend_v with_o a_o more_o than_o ordinary_a zeal_n sometime_o three_o time_n and_o sometime_o four_o time_n in_o the_o same_o day_n and_o that_o i_o be_v not_o see_v at_o the_o parish_n church_n on_o sabbath_n day_n or_o at_o the_o sacrament_n as_o i_o use_v to_o do_v the_o eye_n of_o my_o observer_n be_v upon_o i_o to_o watch_v i_o what_o way_n i_o take_v in_o religion_n innumerable_a be_v the_o taunt_n and_o scoff_v cast_v on_o that_o way_n of_o worship_n which_o i_o have_v espouse_v and_o close_v with_o through_o all_o which_o i_o be_v carry_v with_o invincible_a courage_n many_o and_o sharp_a be_v the_o combat_n wherewith_o i_o encounter_v from_o my_o own_o relation_n especial_o the_o lord_n of_o santry_n in_o who_o family_n i_o then_o live_v and_o my_o father_n his_o brother_n who_o by_o their_o authority_n over_o i_o and_o the_o greatness_n of_o their_o learning_n and_o part_n between_o which_o and_o i_o there_o be_v no_o more_o compare_n than_o between_o the_o sun_n and_o a_o little_a twinkle_a star_n do_v frequent_o attack_v i_o to_o bring_v i_o back_o to_o the_o forsake_v church_n of_o england_n but_o all_o in_o vain_a one_o time_n above_o all_o other_o my_o lord_n observe_v that_o i_o absent_v not_o only_o the_o public_a worship_n but_o that_o of_o his_o family_n also_o send_v up_o his_o secretary_n another_o brother_n son_n to_o call_v i_o to_o prayer_n in_o the_o family_n on_o night_n my_o cousin_n deliver_v my_o lord_n command_v i_o reply_v that_o i_o be_v under_o some_o indisposition_n and_o therefore_o pray_v my_o cousin_n to_o excuse_v i_o to_o my_o lord_n down_o he_o go_v and_o no_o soon_o have_v he_o deliver_v my_o answer_n but_o up_o he_o come_v again_o with_o the_o same_o message_n from_o my_o lord_n i_o throw_v he_o off_o the_o second_o time_n with_o the_o same_o excuse_v allege_v that_o i_o can_v not_o come_v this_o answer_v bring_v to_o my_o lord_n the_o second_o time_n he_o in_o a_o great_a rage_n send_v up_o my_o cousin_n with_o a_o peremptory_a command_n that_o i_o must_v come_v to_o prayer_n my_o cousin_n stand_v some_o considerable_a time_n expect_v that_o i_o will_v answer_v my_o lord_n peremptory_a command_n but_o my_o answer_n be_v that_o see_v my_o lord_n have_v so_o plain_o impose_v on_o my_o conscience_n in_o command_v i_o to_o act_n against_o my_o conscience_n i_o think_v it_o be_v my_o duty_n to_o declare_v that_o until_o i_o better_o understand_v it_o to_o be_v my_o duty_n to_o obey_v his_o lordship_n in_o a_o thing_n of_o this_o nature_n than_o as_o yet_o i_o do_v i_o neither_o can_v nor_o will_v go_v to_o join_v in_o prayer_n with_o the_o family_n this_o reply_n come_v to_o my_o lord_n ear_n he_o let_v i_o alone_o for_o that_o night_n the_o next_o day_n my_o lord_n take_v i_o to_o task_n examine_v very_o strict_o and_o demand_v of_o i_o a_o reason_n wherefore_o i_o come_v not_o to_o prayer_n with_o the_o family_n see_v they_o never_o use_v the_o common-prayer_n in_o the_o family_n to_o who_o i_o make_v this_o reply_n my_o lord_n it_o be_v not_o from_o any_o aversion_n i_o have_v to_o prayer_n that_o keep_v i_o back_o from_o come_v to_o prayer_n with_o the_o family_n but_o the_o great_a dissatisfaction_n lodge_v in_o my_o conscience_n for_o my_o lord_n say_v i_o shall_v i_o under_o my_o present_a light_n and_o conviction_n go_v on_o my_o knee_n to_o join_v in_o such_o a_o service_n where_o god_n be_v so_o notorious_o dishonour_v and_o his_o glorious_a name_n so_o great_o profane_v my_o conscience_n will_v like_o a_o flame_n of_o fire_n fly_v in_o my_o face_n the_o lord_n then_o demand_v of_o i_o what_o i_o can_v object_n against_o the_o service_n perform_v in_o the_o family_n to_o who_o i_o reply_v that_o the_o chief_a objection_n i_o make_v be_v against_o the_o person_n who_o perform_v the_o service_n the_o lord_n demand_v what_o i_o have_v to_o object_n against_o the_o person_n who_o pray_v in_o the_o family_n to_o who_o i_o reply_v that_o i_o object_v against_o he_o for_o two_o thing_n first_o that_o he_o be_v a_o rot_a arminian_n deny_v the_o doctrine_n of_o election_n and_o justification_n by_o the_o alone_o impute_v righteousness_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n and_o that_o he_o also_o hold_v fall_v from_o grace_n second_o for_o that_o he_o be_v in_o his_o life_n and_o conversation_n a_o notorious_a drunkard_n and_o a_o common_a curser_n and_o swearer_n etc._n etc._n my_o lord_n then_o demand_v why_o i_o do_v not_o come_v to_o family_n prayer_n when_o his_o son_n james_n say_v prayer_n reader_n thou_o must_v know_v that_o when_o the_o chaplain_n will_v be_v drink_v and_o ryot_v abroad_o sometime_o my_o lord_n son_n will_v be_v command_v to_o read_v one_o of_o the_o evening_n prayer_n at_o the_o end_n of_o some_o bibles_n to_o this_o i_o answer_v that_o his_o son_n be_v but_o a_o child_n and_o do_v not_o understand_v what_o he_o read_v lord_n have_v mercy_n on_o i_o say_v my_o lord_n who_o will_v you_o have_v pray_v in_o my_o family_n my_o lord_n say_v i_o i_o humble_o conceive_v no_o man_n living_n be_v fit_a for_o a_o service_n of_o this_o nature_n than_o your_o lordship_n the_o great_a god_n have_v make_v your_o lordship_n king_n and_o lord_n over_o your_o own_o family_n and_o have_v endue_v your_o lordship_n with_o such_o incomparable_a gift_n of_o knowledge_n and_o learning_n and_o i_o hope_v of_o grace_n too_o and_o pray_v sir_n say_v my_o lord_n how_o will_v you_o have_v i_o pray_v my_o lord_n
achilles_n i_o be_o uncertain_a but_o in_o this_o of_o the_o wound_v and_o heal_v of_o my_o soul_n i_o be_o not_o more_o certain_a of_o any_o thing_n in_o nature_n than_o i_o be_o that_o the_o spirit_n of_o christ_n which_o wound_v i_o by_o the_o law_n do_v also_o heal_n i_o by_o the_o gospel_n job_n 5._o 18._o for_o he_o make_v sore_a and_o bind_v up_o he_o wound_v and_o his_o hand_n make_v whole_a observation_n iu._n see_v and_o learn_v hence_o how_o steadfast_a and_o faithful_a god_n be_v to_o his_o word_n of_o promise_n when_o for_o christ_n and_o the_o gospel_n be_v forsake_v and_o cast_v off_o by_o my_o father_n and_o all_o other_o fleshly_a relation_n be_v turn_v out_o empty_z handed_z to_o the_o wide_a world_n and_o not_o know_v whether_o to_o go_v or_o what_o to_o do_v god_n take_v care_n of_o i_o and_o provide_v a_o lodging_n and_o friend_n for_o i_o which_o with_o the_o peace_n of_o my_o conscience_n give_v i_o more_o satisfaction_n and_o comfortable_a content_n than_o all_o the_o gallantry_n and_o greatness_n of_o my_o fleshly_a relation_n those_o sweet_a promise_n record_v in_o the_o scripture_n and_o make_v good_a by_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n have_v oftentimes_o refresh_v and_o ravish_v my_o pensive_a and_o weary_a soul_n psal_n 27._o 10._o when_o my_o father_n and_o my_o mother_n forsake_v i_o than_o the_o lord_n will_v take_v i_o up_o mat._n 19_o 29._o and_o every_o one_o that_o have_v forsake_v house_n or_o brethren_n or_o sister_n or_o father_n or_o mother_n or_o wife_n or_o child_n or_o land_n for_o my_o name_n be_v sake_n shall_v receive_v a_o hundred_o fold_n and_o shall_v inherit_v everlasting_a life_n heb._n 13._o 5._o let_v your_o conversation_n be_v without_o covetousness_n and_o be_v content_a with_o such_o thing_n as_o you_o have_v for_o he_o have_v say_v i_o will_v never_o never_o never_o never_o never_o leave_v thou_o nor_o forsake_v thou_o the_o greek_a have_v no_o less_o than_o five_o negative_n in_o this_o one_o scripture_n to_o assure_v the_o true_a believer_n that_o god_n will_v in_o no_o wise_n forget_v or_o forsake_v he_o i_o have_v be_v forsake_v of_o my_o nurse_n when_o but_o three_o month_n old_a but_o i_o be_v take_v into_o the_o nursery_n of_o god_n providential_a care_n which_o cause_v in_o i_o often_o to_o think_v with_o comfort_n of_o that_o in_o psal_n 22._o 10._o i_o be_v cast_v upon_o thou_o from_o the_o womb_n thou_o be_v my_o god_n from_o my_o mother_n belly_n the_o same_o providence_n which_o take_v care_n of_o the_o head_n takes_z care_n also_o of_o the_o member_n i_o be_v forsake_v of_o my_o bodily_a physician_n but_o the_o great_a physician_n of_o soul_n and_o body_n cure_a i_o by_o poor_a contemptible_a snail_n i_o be_v forsake_v of_o my_o earthly_a father_n and_o all_o fleshly_a relation_n but_o god_n be_v become_v by_o grace_n and_o free_a adoption_n my_o father_n who_o will_v never_o forske_v i_o total_o or_o final_o i_o be_v forsake_v by_o my_o brethren_n and_o sister_n but_o those_o who_o be_v the_o son_n and_o daughter_n of_o god_n they_o be_v become_v my_o brethren_n and_o sister_n and_o albeit_o many_o of_o they_o who_o know_v i_o not_o be_v on_o malicious_a report_n prejudice_v against_o i_o yet_o other_o of_o they_o who_o know_v i_o and_o god_n deal_v with_o i_o they_o love_v i_o dear_o i_o have_v be_v forsake_v by_o several_a of_o my_o church_n member_n in_o ireland_n and_o england_n christ_n my_o lord_n and_o master_n have_v be_v so_o before_o i_o jo._n 6._o 66._o from_o that_o time_n many_o of_o his_o disciple_n go_v back_o and_o walk_v no_o more_o with_o he_o yet_o god_n be_v my_o god_n still_o i_o have_v be_v forsake_v of_o my_o brethren_n in_o the_o sacred_a office_n and_o left_a to_o stand_v alone_o when_o popery_n and_o quakerism_n be_v come_v in_o like_o a_o flood_n none_o step_v in_o to_o help_v or_o encourage_v i_o against_o those_o adversary_n of_o god_n religion_n but_o he_o that_o stand_v by_o paul_n when_o all_o other_o preacher_n in_o his_o day_n forsake_v he_o stand_v by_o i_o and_o embolden_v i_o against_o their_o threat_n and_o malice_n i_o have_v thought_n of_o print_v the_o most_o material_a objection_n bring_v in_o by_o satan_n to_o distress_n and_o distract_v a_o poor_a sinner_n to_o keep_v he_o from_o christ_n and_o how_o the_o spirit_n of_o grace_n teach_v and_o enable_v i_o to_o answer_v they_o all_o but_o my_o intend_a brevity_n have_v prevent_v i_o therein_o all_o glory_n honour_n and_o eternal_a praise_n to_o the_o only_a wise_a and_o glorious_a god_n father_n son_n and_o holy_a ghost_n amen_n amen_n postscript_n je_v satan_n shall_v get_v a_o advantage_n by_o this_o relation_n of_o god_n strange_a and_o wonderful_a deal_n with_o i_o in_o bring_v i_o home_o to_o christ_n in_o such_o a_o unusual_a manner_n and_o his_o handle_v i_o so_o sharp_o by_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n as_o also_o his_o bountiful_a deal_n with_o i_o in_o make_v my_o soul_n the_o receptacle_n of_o such_o ravish_a joy_n and_o unutterable_a consolation_n upon_o believe_v in_o christ_n in_o effectual_a call_v i_o think_v it_o may_v be_v seasonable_a to_o give_v the_o present_a caution_n to_o the_o poor_a doubt_v tempt_v believer_n who_o through_o satan_n subtlety_n tempt_v will_v find_v he_o or_o her_z self_n wretched_o prone_a to_o conclude_v from_o what_o they_o read_v of_o my_o conversion_n that_o the_o work_n of_o true_a conversion_n be_v never_o yet_o effectual_o wrought_v in_o themselves_o and_o that_o because_o they_o be_v never_o under_o such_o terrible_a bondage_n of_o soul_n neither_o ever_o yet_o be_v lift_v up_o so_o near_a heaven_n as_o i_o be_v such_o poor_a tempt_v believer_n be_v to_o consider_v the_o particular_n follow_v for_o their_o help_n and_o relief_n against_o the_o tempter_n in_o this_o case_n first_o consider_v that_o as_o in_o nature_n there_o be_v a_o vast_a disparity_n or_o difference_n between_o person_n in_o the_o natural_a birth_n so_o there_o be_v as_o vast_a a_o difference_n in_o the_o spiritual_a birth_n some_o woman_n go_v through_o abundant_o more_o and_o sharp_a pain_n and_o throw_v in_o travel_n than_o other_o meet_v with_o some_o babe_n meet_v with_o great_a difficulty_n and_o danger_n in_o the_o birth_n than_o do_v other_o the_o cause_n whereof_o in_o nature_n though_o they_o appear_v not_o to_o we_o yet_o it_o be_v most_o certain_a that_o so_o it_o be_v so_o in_o conversion_n some_o soul_n pass_v through_o great_a horror_n and_o bondage_n in_o the_o conscience_n than_o other_o do_v some_o be_v bring_v as_o it_o be_v through_o the_o very_a jaw_n of_o hell_n and_o desperation_n as_o i_o be_v other_o be_v deal_v more_o easy_o and_o gentle_o with_o be_v sweet_o allure_v and_o as_o it_o be_v insensible_o transplant_v into_o christ_n they_o not_o well_o know_v what_o be_v do_v to_o they_o paul_n and_o the_o rugged_a jailor_n be_v handle_v more_o rough_o their_o conscience_n be_v more_o deep_o wound_v with_o the_o frightning_n terror_n of_o god_n law_n set_v home_n by_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n than_o lydia_n who_o heart_n the_o lord_n open_v with_o more_o gentle_a touch_v of_o his_o spirit_n act_n 9_o 6._o act_n 16._o 15_o 29._o that_o woman_n who_o be_v safe_o deliver_v without_o any_o danger_n or_o great_a difficulty_n to_o herself_o or_o her_o babe_n have_v no_o reason_n to_o question_n whether_o she_o be_v indeed_o deliver_v because_o she_o go_v not_o through_o such_o danger_n and_o difficulty_n as_o her_o neighbour_n do_v who_o narrow_o escape_v with_o her_o life_n neither_o have_v she_o any_o cause_n of_o be_v jealous_a with_o her_o neighbour_n because_o her_o case_n or_o condition_n be_v more_o dangerous_a and_o desperate_a in_o travel_n than_o be_v she_o own_o thou_o who_o be_v bring_v to_o christ_n by_o the_o gentle_a drawing_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o grace_n and_o not_o bring_v so_o nigh_o to_o the_o affrightning_n sight_n of_o hell_n and_o to_o such_o a_o sense_n and_o feeling_n of_o the_o pain_n of_o the_o damn_a as_o have_v cause_v some_o to_o think_v themselves_o actual_o in_o hell_n admire_v at_o and_o bless_v god_n for_o his_o condescension_n towards_o thou_o in_o bring_v thou_o through_o the_o new_a birth_n so_o easy_o second_o consider_v that_o albeit_o the_o truth_n of_o thy_o conversion_n be_v not_o so_o sensible_o discern_v as_o the_o conversion_n of_o that_o person_n be_v who_o be_v bring_v home_o in_o the_o way_n of_o legal_a terror_n yet_o thou_o be_v bind_v to_o bless_n god_n for_o the_o small_a measure_n of_o grace_n bestow_v on_o thou_o as_o the_o small_a spark_n of_o fire_n though_o it_o be_v hide_v under_o a_o great_a heap_n of_o ash_n be_v as_o true_o fire_n as_o the_o great_a fire_n in_o nature_n so_o thy_o small_a grace_n which_o in_o comparison_n of_o some_o other_o grace_n may_v be_v so_o weak_a and_o little_a that_o it_o can_v scarce_o be_v discern_v yet_o grace_v it_o be_v though_o thou_o know_v it_o not_o to_o be_v so_o and_o he_o who_o bestow_v it_o on_o thou_o and_o wrought_v it_o in_o thou_o he_o will_v never_o reject_v or_o neglect_v thou_o because_o of_o thy_o little_a grace_n while_o he_o see_v thou_o constant_a and_o diligent_a in_o the_o use_n of_o mean_n labour_v to_o grow_v in_o grace_n esa_n 42._o 3._o mat._n 5._o 6._o esa_n 41._o 17._o phil._n 1._o 6._o oh_o but_o i_o do_v not_o find_v that_o i_o be_o bring_v to_o christ_n and_o which_o be_v far_o worse_a i_o fear_v i_o never_o shall_v to_o this_o i_o answer_v in_o two_o particular_n first_o thy_o very_a fear_n about_o this_o great_a of_n concern_v be_v a_o argument_n of_o thy_o translation_n from_o the_o first_o adam_n to_o the_o second_o adam_n christ_n jesus_n the_o lord_n if_o the_o spirit_n of_o grace_n have_v not_o give_v thou_o some_o sight_n and_o taste_n of_o the_o excellency_n and_o sweetness_n of_o christ_n thou_o can_v never_o prize_v or_o desire_v after_o he_o it_o be_v only_o the_o child_n that_o have_v taste_v the_o honey_n or_o sugar_n that_o long_v and_o cry_v for_o more_o second_o if_o thou_o find_v a_o fix_a resolution_n in_o thy_o soul_n in_o go_v on_o to_o seek_v the_o lord_n and_o his_o strength_n by_o prayer_n and_o supplication_n and_o other_o mean_n of_o grace_n not_o rest_v in_o or_o depend_v upon_o they_o but_o on_o christ_n alone_o for_o life_n and_o salvation_n my_o life_n for_o thou_o come_v death_n when_o god_n please_v to_o send_v it_o it_o will_v end_v all_o thy_o fear_n and_o put_v thou_o beyond_o the_o reach_n of_o all_o thy_o enemy_n thy_o frequent_a cry_v to_o god_n in_o prayer_n for_o christ_n and_o save_v grace_n be_v the_o echo_n of_o christ_n pray_v for_o thea_fw-mi at_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n and_o thy_o go_v on_o and_o continue_v to_o watch_n at_o wisdom_n gate_n can_v not_o possible_o be_v without_o invisible_a supply_n of_o spiritual_a strength_n communicate_v to_o thy_o soul_n by_o the_o spirit_n of_o christ_n the_o end_n