and_o for_o the_o price_n and_o satisfaction_n make_v by_o this_o blood_n do_v i_o cry_v for_o mercy_n mercy_n and_o earnest_o desire_v grace_n to_o live_v hereafter_o a_o holy_a and_o righteous_a life_n i_o be_o a_o christian_n and_o a_o penitent_a sinner_n how_o can_v i_o despair_v or_o doubt_v of_o salvation_n know_v god_n infinite_a mercy_n and_o truth_n that_o he_o be_v not_o only_o a_o god_n of_o mercy_n ready_a to_o pardon_v but_o also_o a_o god_n of_o truth_n who_o will_v true_o fulfil_v his_o word_n and_o promise_n of_o pardon_n upon_o man_n true_a repentance_n as_o of_o justice_n in_o punish_v they_o who_o persist_v in_o sin_n commit_v why_o shall_v i_o be_v afraid_a to_o touch_v the_o hem_n of_o my_o saviour_n garment_n see_v his_o promise_n be_v make_v unto_o i_o his_o satisfaction_n for_o i_o and_o for_o such_o sinner_n as_o i_o be_o he_o do_v undergo_v all_o his_o suffering_n from_o the_o prick_n of_o the_o thorn_n to_o the_o wound_n with_o the_o spear_n from_o his_o first_o groan_n to_o his_o last_o act_n of_o passion_n his_o grave_n and_o burial_n to_o his_o resurrection_n and_o ascension_n into_o glory_n i_o think_v those_o bless_a word_n of_o the_o apostle_n be_v speak_v not_o only_o to_o i_o but_o of_o i_o jesus_n christ_n come_v into_o the_o world_n to_o save_v sinner_n of_o who_o i_o be_o the_o chief_a can_v i_o repent_v doubt_n can_v i_o be_v a_o christian_a be_v so_o base_a as_o to_o be_v ashamed_a to_o confess_v the_o faith_n of_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n can_v i_o have_v more_o content_a or_o aim_v at_o more_o than_o to_o be_v a_o christian_a convert_v and_o a_o true_a penitent_n see_v there_o be_v no_o high_a honour_n in_o the_o world_n to_o be_v aim_v at_o no_o glory_n comparable_a to_o be_v a_o true_a christian_n can_v disgrace_n poverty_n calamity_n height_n or_o depth_n life_n or_o death_n sin_n or_o the_o devil_n daunt_v i_o they_o can_v they_o can_v for_o i_o find_v god_n a_o light_n to_o i_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o darkness_n and_o a_o refresh_a comfort_n in_o all_o calamity_n in_o so_o much_o that_o when_o i_o be_o in_o the_o deep_a despair_n for_o my_o sin_n in_o the_o great_a agony_n and_o horror_n of_o conscience_n and_o most_o bitter_a passion_n think_v with_o myself_o what_o a_o estate_n i_o once_o have_v and_o how_o poor_a i_o be_o now_o how_o i_o be_v value_v now_o despise_v how_o they_o who_o esteem_v i_o live_v in_o sin_n do_v now_o refuse_v i_o repent_v of_o my_o sin_n what_o great_a cause_n of_o discomfort_v it_o be_v to_o i_o that_o i_o can_v nor_o be_o able_a to_o have_v the_o breed_n or_o to_o enjoy_v the_o sight_n of_o my_o child_n be_v infant_n for_o who_o i_o will_v suffer_v death_n have_v no_o refuge_n but_o to_o be_v a_o soldier_n or_o serve_v yet_o still_o even_o when_o i_o be_o thus_o deject_a and_o cast_v down_o as_o low_a as_o sin_n misery_n and_o the_o devil_n can_v cast_v i_o down_o i_o do_v not_o let_v go_v my_o hold_n but_o do_v cleave_v to_o god_n and_o be_o uphold_v by_o he_o continual_o when_o it_o be_v manifest_a that_o none_o of_o these_o thing_n can_v tempt_v and_o allure_v i_o either_o to_o remove_v my_o religion_n which_o i_o profess_v or_o to_o forsake_v my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n who_o i_o shall_v forsake_v and_o forgo_v if_o i_o shall_v resolve_v to_o live_v in_o theft_n piracie_n or_o any_o other_o sin_n that_o i_o have_v time_n to_o publish_v this_o i_o be_o full_o satisfy_v my_o soul_n be_v at_o rest_n i_o be_o less_o careful_a of_o my_o life_n a_o thousand_o time_n not_o desperate_o but_o humble_o yield_v myself_o to_o god_n if_o i_o starve_v perish_v die_v by_o the_o sword_n be_v take_v captive_a by_o the_o turk_n and_o live_v a_o most_o miserable_a slave_n all_o my_o day_n yea_o come_v woeful_a life_n or_o shameful_a death_n i_o will_v trust_v in_o god_n though_o he_o kill_v i_o and_o will_v never_o fly_v from_o he_o and_o here_o i_o profess_v and_o protest_v before_o god_n and_o the_o world_n that_o as_o i_o have_v dishonour_v god_n stain_a myself_o with_o blood_n in_o a_o most_o vile_a and_o abominable_a manner_n and_o defile_v the_o honour_n of_o religion_n to_o the_o great_a scandal_n and_o offence_n of_o many_o so_o i_o do_v now_o with_o all_o my_o heart_n desire_n if_o i_o may_v be_v think_v worthy_a and_o have_v a_o due_a call_n thereunto_o to_o stand_v with_o my_o sword_n in_o my_o hand_n and_o to_o expose_v myself_o to_o the_o great_a danger_n in_o the_o world_n in_o the_o most_o bloody_a battle_n fire_n or_o sword_n where_o god_n may_v show_v extraordinary_a mercy_n or_o judgement_n in_o the_o defence_n of_o the_o gospel_n and_o of_o true_a christian_a religion_n and_o as_o i_o have_v base_o slay_v a_o minister_n of_o god_n word_n so_o in_o defence_n of_o the_o man_n of_o god_n the_o faithful_a minister_n of_o his_o word_n in_o this_o church_n of_o england_n i_o may_v in_o any_o breach_n or_o danger_n interpose_v myself_o even_o between_o they_o and_o death_n and_o defy_v and_o withstand_v all_o their_o enemy_n or_o any_o other_o way_n yield_v myself_o to_o god_n judgement_n trial_n correction_n and_o direction_n in_o a_o vocation_n how_o low_a and_o mean_a soever_o and_o never_o turn_v capuchin_n or_o take_v upon_o i_o any_o popish_a and_o superstitious_a vow_n and_o profession_n of_o austerity_n which_o be_v a_o fit_a refuge_n for_o coward_n cain_n and_o judasses_n though_o my_o sin_n be_v innumerable_a and_o abominable_a which_o still_o hang_v fast_o on_o i_o and_o cleave_v as_o rust_v unto_o my_o corrupt_a nature_n yet_o i_o have_v the_o balm_n of_o gilead_n the_o blood_n of_o jesus_n christ_n the_o mercy_n of_o god_n and_o the_o divine_a power_n of_o heaven_n to_o countervail_v they_o all_o yea_o i_o have_v many_o mark_n and_o token_n of_o god_n grace_n give_v to_o i_o and_o of_o his_o mercy_n show_v towards_o i_o which_o do_v much_o refresh_v my_o soul_n as_o first_o that_o i_o ask_v and_o sue_v for_o mercy_n at_o no_o other_o power_n but_o at_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n for_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n sake_n and_o so_o in_o the_o right_a way_n to_o the_o fountain_n of_o life_n second_o that_o i_o find_v great_a content_n and_o comfort_n in_o wrestle_v against_o flesh_n and_o blood_n and_o all_o my_o own_o corruption_n and_o in_o maintain_v to_o the_o devil_n face_n my_o religion_n faith_n hope_n repentance_n three_o that_o i_o hold_v my_o certain_a and_o resolute_a determination_n as_o a_o armour_n against_o his_o fiery_a dart_n and_o do_v still_o lay_v fast_o and_o sure_o hold_v on_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n hope_v to_o persevere_v and_o hold_v out_o to_o the_o end_n four_o that_o i_o have_v peace_n of_o conscience_n more_o than_o the_o world_n be_v worth_a which_o if_o i_o never_o have_v taste_v nor_o know_v but_o be_v as_o a_o heathen_a or_o turk_n i_o shall_v with_o the_o world_n hold_v that_o for_o blood_n vengeance_n must_v haunt_v without_o redemption_n and_o so_o be_v fright_v with_o fury_n unknown_a and_o endless_a grow_v desperate_a and_o like_o varney_n and_o dansekar_n die_v with_o bloody_a content_n in_o revenge_n or_o prosecute_v till_o death_n piracie_n or_o theft_n to_o mitigate_v my_o endless_a torment_a misery_n and_o to_o leave_v my_o child_n a_o estate_n though_o never_o so_o unjust_o get_v five_o that_o i_o can_v be_v bring_v to_o deny_v christ_n or_o to_o doubt_v that_o there_o be_v a_o christ_n nor_o be_v pull_v from_o believe_v in_o christ_n and_o hope_v to_o be_v save_v through_o he_o by_o the_o devil_n nor_o all_o my_o sin_n if_o i_o have_v all_o the_o sin_n in_o the_o world_n upon_o i_o six_o that_o i_o be_o deliver_v from_o the_o danger_n and_o infection_n of_o the_o romish_a religion_n for_o if_o i_o be_v of_o that_o religion_n i_o will_v attempt_v any_o sinful_a course_n as_o theft_n or_o piracie_n to_o relieve_v my_o want_n in_o hope_n of_o pardon_n penance_n or_o purgatory_n for_o no_o punishment_n shall_v terrify_v i_o let_v it_o be_v whatsoever_o it_o can_v be_v even_o purgatory_n itself_o so_o it_o may_v have_v end_n i_o will_v willing_o endure_v it_o if_o so_o be_v it_o may_v procure_v i_o pardon_v and_o under_o that_o condition_n grant_v i_o liberty_n to_o sin_n i_o shall_v with_o they_o of_o that_o religion_n hold_v that_o justice_n must_v be_v satisfy_v necessary_o upon_o sinner_n in_o this_o world_n and_o that_o by_o our_o own_o bodily_a suffering_n sin_n must_v be_v expiate_v and_o there_o be_v no_o avoid_v it_o and_o so_o i_o will_v seek_v by_o voluntary_a earthly_a punishment_n in_o this_o life_n to_o satisfy_v justice_n by_o turn_v pilgrim_n or_o capuchin_n yea_o i_o be_o assure_v that_o our_o lord_n jesus_n have_v satisfy_v for_o all_o punishment_n of_o vengeance_n both_o temporal_a and_o eternal_a though_o i_o have_v endure_v or_o shall_v hereafter_o undergo_v all_o misery_n and_o calamity_n and_o even_o a_o most_o bitter_a and_o painful_a death_n yet_o i_o do_v not_o account_v they_o any_o satisfaction_n or_o expiation_n my_o blood_n can_v satisfy_v for_o blood_n i_o may_v if_o god_n shall_v so_o dispose_v have_v a_o bloody_a end_n as_o a_o just_a reward_n of_o my_o sin_n i_o can_v deny_v it_o but_o what_o can_v satisfy_v to_o justify_v surely_n none_o of_o i_o own_o miserable_a calamity_n can_v make_v any_o part_n of_o satisfaction_n that_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o i_o utter_o disclaim_v only_o the_o blood_n and_o satisfaction_n of_o jesus_n christ_n be_v that_o on_o which_o i_o do_v lie_v hold_v and_o rely_v by_o faith_n for_o justification_n yet_o because_o not_o only_o the_o majesty_n of_o god_n have_v be_v deep_o offend_v by_o my_o heinous_a transgression_n but_o also_o his_o church_n great_o scandalize_v and_o the_o mind_n of_o my_o grave_a father_n and_o dear_a brethren_n in_o christ_n no_o less_o deep_o wound_v in_o their_o compassion_n for_o he_o that_o die_v by_o my_o hand_n than_o himself_o be_v in_o his_o passion_n and_o bodily_a dissolution_n who_o many_o wound_n bleed_v a_o fresh_a in_o my_o eye_n and_o memory_n i_o profess_v myself_o ready_a and_o willing_a to_o endure_v whatsoever_o other_o humiliation_n this_o bless_a church_n have_v or_o shall_v impose_v upon_o i_o for_o the_o further_a assurance_n of_o my_o satisfaction_n to_o she_o which_o may_v in_o some_o sort_n suit_n with_o the_o depth_n of_o my_o offence_n against_o she_o and_o her_o child_n very_o as_o i_o abhor_v popish_a satisfaction_n derogate_a from_o the_o merit_n of_o christ_n blood_n so_o i_o with_o other_o more_o learned_a than_o myself_o wish_v that_o the_o ancient_a discipline_n of_o the_o primitive_a sincere_a church_n be_v more_o thorough_o reviue_v in_o every_o scandalous_a crime_n by_o public_a confession_n submission_n and_o satisfaction_n to_o the_o christian_a congregation_n wherein_o myself_o desire_v as_o much_o to_o go_v beyond_o other_o in_o my_o humiliation_n as_o i_o have_v exceed_v all_o in_o my_o presumptuous_a transgression_n with_o offensive_a but_o penitent_a ecebolius_n in_o the_o ecclesiastical_a history_n i_o say_v of_o myself_o cast_v i_o out_o tread_v upon_o i_o for_o unsavourie_a salt_n finis_fw-la prou._n 1._o 7_o 8_o 9_o psal_n 139._o 7_o â—_o isaiah_n 1_o 1â—_n mat._n 25._o
the_o life_n confession_n and_o hearty_a repentance_n of_o francis_n cartwright_n gentleman_n for_o his_o bloody_a sin_n in_o kill_v of_o one_o master_n storr_n master_n of_o art_n and_o minister_n of_o market_n rason_n in_o lincolnshire_n write_a with_o his_o own_o hand_n psal._n 51._o 14._o deliver_v i_o from_o bloud-guiltinesse_n o_o god_n thou_o that_o be_v the_o god_n of_o my_o health_n and_o my_o tongue_n shall_v sing_v of_o thy_o righteousness_n london_n print_v for_o nathaniel_n butter_n 1621._o francis_n cartwright_n publiqve_n repentance_n for_o his_o bloody_a sin_n three_o special_a motive_n beside_o the_o suggestion_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n in_o my_o own_o soul_n private_o have_v enforce_v i_o to_o this_o public_a declare_v myself_o first_o because_o my_o act_n have_v be_v commit_v before_o the_o face_n of_o heaven_n and_o in_o the_o eye_n of_o the_o world_n i_o can_v think_v but_o i_o be_o bind_v in_o conscience_n to_o give_v satisfaction_n to_o the_o offend_a world_n that_o it_o may_v be_v as_o well_o a_o witness_n of_o my_o serious_a and_o most_o humble_a repentance_n as_o it_o have_v be_v a_o spectator_n of_o those_o crime_n which_o have_v just_o upbray_v my_o condemnation_n before_o the_o tribunal_n both_o of_o god_n and_o man._n very_o i_o think_v i_o be_o like_o a_o leper_n in_o the_o congregation_n who_o every_o one_o will_v shun_v nay_o who_o be_v bind_v to_o say_v to_o other_o come_v not_o near_o i_o for_o i_o be_o unclean_a every_o eye_n that_o look_v on_o i_o be_v a_o dart_n to_o wound_v i_o with_o the_o remembrance_n of_o my_o own_o guiltiness_n every_o finger_n do_v or_o may_v point_v at_o i_o as_o a_o man_n forlorn_a of_o man_n so_o unclean_a so_o despicable_a shall_v i_o remain_v till_o i_o publish_v and_o proclaim_v my_o uncleanness_n sure_o there_o will_v be_v no_o rest_n in_o my_o bone_n by_o reason_n of_o my_o sin_n until_o i_o have_v double_v the_o confession_n of_o my_o sin_n i_o owe_v a_o duty_n of_o submission_n not_o only_o to_o god_n himself_o who_o deep_a curse_n i_o have_v deserve_v but_o also_o to_o his_o church_n and_o people_n who_o i_o have_v grievous_o scandalize_v nay_o i_o owe_v a_o reparation_n to_o my_o own_o lose_a credit_n have_v some_o deed_n of_o i_o be_v in_o the_o foul_a colour_n blaze_v to_o the_o world_n in_o print_n so_o may_v perhaps_o my_o print_a contrition_n redeem_v my_o reputation_n from_o those_o obloquy_n it_o be_v almost_o bury_v in_o as_o well_o as_o my_o near_a dead_a soul_n have_v internal_o receive_v a_o new_a life_n from_o the_o merciful_a breath_n of_o god_n inspire_v into_o it_o all_o compunction_n and_o just_a sorrow_n that_o may_v prevent_v his_o eternal_a judgement_n second_o that_o since_o i_o have_v be_v deep_o brand_v with_o shame_n of_o the_o world_n outward_o and_o with_o the_o terror_n of_o god_n and_o scourge_v of_o conscience_n inward_o my_o example_n may_v be_v a_o dreadful_a thunderclap_n of_o warning_n and_o affright_v to_o all_o presume_v and_o persevere_v sinner_n who_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n will_v sure_o find_v out_o and_o deep_o wound_v with_o the_o dart_n of_o his_o vengeance_n last_o and_o chief_o that_o by_o this_o discourse_n of_o i_o the_o world_n may_v see_v the_o power_n and_o goodness_n of_o the_o almighty_a that_o have_v not_o forsake_v i_o when_o i_o flee_v from_o he_o and_o myself_o but_o have_v even_o then_o pour_v on_o i_o the_o fresh_a balm_n of_o his_o mercy_n when_o the_o wound_n of_o my_o soul_n fester_a and_o stink_v most_o give_v i_o leave_v to_o surfeit_v on_o sin_n that_o i_o may_v loath_a it_o to_o die_v my_o hand_n in_o blood_n that_o i_o may_v seek_v the_o blood_n of_o christ_n to_o purify_v i_o and_o to_o wallow_v in_o sensuality_n and_o security_n that_o my_o true_a repentance_n at_o last_o may_v lodge_v i_o safe_a in_o the_o repose_n of_o a_o quiet_a conscience_n let_v it_o not_o therefore_o seem_v tedious_a to_o thou_o charitable_a and_o compassionate_a reader_n to_o survey_v my_o anatomy_n thus_o by_o myself_o disect_v of_o which_o i_o will_v not_o leave_v one_o small_a vein_n or_o sinew_n undiscovered_a but_o from_o my_o first_o to_o this_o day_n true_o and_o ingenious_o without_o extenuate_a partiality_n lest_o so_o i_o shall_v seem_v to_o cherish_v not_o abandon_v my_o own_o corruption_n i_o will_v relate_v how_o miserable_a i_o have_v make_v myself_o in_o what_o i_o have_v be_v how_o much_o recollect_v and_o revive_v i_o be_o in_o what_o i_o now_o be_o and_o how_o happy_a i_o hope_v to_o be_v in_o what_o i_o resolve_v to_o persevere_v in_o till_o the_o consummation_n of_o my_o wretched_a life_n first_o my_o youth_n and_o morning_n of_o my_o day_n be_v cloud_v with_o a_o stubborn_a and_o headstrong_a disobedience_n to_o my_o parent_n the_o first_o and_o worst_a note_n of_o a_o desperate_a and_o obstinate_a sinner_n to_o who_o i_o so_o much_o forget_v my_o own_o duty_n that_o all_o their_o indulgence_n to_o i_o i_o value_v as_o their_o duty_n their_o counsel_n be_v disease_n to_o my_o course_n their_o monition_n be_v irksome_a to_o my_o ear_n because_o enemy_n of_o my_o riot_n and_o their_o gentle_a chastizement_n the_o contradictor_n of_o my_o lasciviousness_n so_o that_o even_o then_o before_o i_o know_v what_o it_o be_v to_o be_v i_o have_v make_v myself_o nothing_o and_o which_o be_v worse_a unsensible_a of_o any_o thing_n their_o care_n still_o follow_v i_o and_o still_o my_o stubborness_n flee_v from_o they_o to_o heap_v the_o hot_a coal_n upon_o my_o head_n little_o do_v i_o regard_v that_o which_o most_o behoove_v i_o to_o learn_v and_o practice_v the_o fear_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v the_o begin_n of_o wisdom_n 9_o but_o fool_n despise_v instruction_n my_o son_n hear_v the_o instruction_n of_o thy_o father_n and_o forsake_v not_o the_o law_n of_o thy_o mother_n for_o they_o shall_v be_v a_o ornament_n unto_o thy_o head_n and_o chain_n about_o thy_o neck_n upon_o this_o foundation_n of_o my_o disobedience_n the_o devil_n begin_v to_o build_v a_o mansion_n for_o himself_o to_o inhabit_v and_o so_o grow_v my_o soul_n a_o cage_n of_o unclean_a bird_n wherein_o many_o foul_a sin_n be_v breed_v and_o grow_v to_o such_o strength_n that_o i_o be_v master_v by_o they_o one_o impiety_n beget_v another_o yet_o still_o i_o think_v myself_o not_o sufficient_o flesh_v in_o wickedness_n till_o i_o deface_v the_o image_n of_o god_n first_o in_o my_o own_o soul_n by_o hatred_n and_o revengeful_a malice_n then_o in_o another_o body_n by_o homicide_n o_o frightful_a remembrance_n o_o the_o deep_a sting_n o_o the_o dismal_a sound_n of_o this_o cry_a sin_n wretched_a man_n that_o i_o be_o be_v it_o not_o heinous_a enough_o for_o i_o to_o kill_v a_o man_n but_o i_o must_v by_o my_o fury_n be_v put_v on_o such_o a_o one_o who_o coat_n and_o quality_n add_v many_o degree_n to_o the_o foulness_n of_o the_o murder_n a_o minister_n of_o god_n word_n my_o own_o pastor_n and_o watchman_n of_o my_o soul_n master_n william_n storr_n master_n in_o art_n who_o be_v a_o zealous_a detester_n of_o my_o lewd_a course_n and_o both_o in_o private_a and_o public_a use_v sharp_a reprehension_n to_o i_o and_o of_o i_o do_v thereby_o kindle_v in_o i_o a_o hatred_n not_o of_o my_o own_o lewdness_n but_o of_o his_o person_n i_o may_v perhaps_o by_o way_n of_o extenuation_n say_v that_o have_v he_o use_v great_a word_n and_o mild_a reprehension_n to_o i_o he_o may_v by_o god_n blessing_n have_v pluck_v i_o out_o of_o the_o snare_n of_o satan_n and_o so_o have_v prevent_v this_o shorten_n his_o own_o day_n by_o my_o hand_n i_o may_v say_v that_o my_o distemper_n be_v enrage_v by_o his_o unseasonable_a corrosive_n which_o may_v perhaps_o have_v be_v allay_v and_o cure_v by_o gentle_a balm_n but_o i_o utter_o disavow_v all_o abate_v any_o part_n of_o my_o crime_n i_o stand_v forth_o here_o to_o accuse_v to_o arraign_v and_o to_o condemn_v myself_o not_o to_o use_v defence_n or_o mitigation_n much_o less_o like_a to_o our_o first_o parent_n to_o put_v off_o my_o fault_n and_o lay_v it_o upon_o other_o nay_o i_o dare_v not_o so_o much_o as_o catch_v at_o figleave_n to_o cover_v my_o own_o shame_n i_o proclaim_v my_o worst_a deformity_n that_o other_o see_v they_o and_o hate_v they_o may_v now_o pity_v my_o person_n and_o comfort_v my_o soul_n be_v thus_o enrage_v against_o he_o and_o resolve_v to_o execute_v some_o notable_a revenge_n upon_o he_o i_o do_v not_o as_o the_o searcher_n of_o all_o heart_n witness_v with_o i_o intend_v more_o to_o he_o then_o some_o slight_a wound_n as_o the_o manner_n i_o take_v he_o in_o may_v in_o some_o sort_n witness_n the_o place_n be_v public_a in_o the_o sight_n of_o many_o myself_o unready_a and_o
in_o a_o instant_n restore_v he_o to_o health_n now_o the_o time_n of_o my_o trial_n for_o master_n riggs_n come_v where_o though_o my_o judge_n be_v severe_a in_o respect_n of_o my_o past_a life_n and_o not_o trust_v the_o under-sherife_n do_v himself_o choose_v out_o a_o jury_n of_o man_n of_o the_o better_a fashion_n to_o judge_v upon_o i_o without_o partiality_n yet_o upon_o the_o evidence_n of_o my_o avoid_v he_o i_o be_v not_o find_v guilty_a of_o murder_n charge_v upon_o i_o in_o the_o indictment_n but_o of_o a_o inferior_a degree_n at_o which_o time_n be_v adjudge_v without_o bail_n to_o suffer_v a_o year_n imprisonment_n i_o feel_v again_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n upon_o i_o by_o visit_v my_o say_a son_n in_o a_o strange_a manner_n that_o all_o man_n may_v take_v this_o for_o a_o terrible_a note_n of_o his_o judgement_n and_o rather_o than_o accidental_a or_o natural_a disease_n he_o be_v cripple_v and_o take_v lame_a in_o all_o his_o limb_n and_o deform_v in_o all_o proportion_n as_o if_o the_o lord_n have_v in_o he_o figure_v the_o lameness_n and_o deformity_n of_o his_o father_n soul_n about_o 4._o year_n this_o continue_a on_o he_o &_o then_o god_n in_o his_o good_a time_n restore_v he_o to_o perfect_a health_n and_o ability_n of_o body_n leave_v i_o this_o use_n of_o all_o his_o judgement_n which_o have_v threaten_v i_o and_o i_o that_o like_o a_o indulgent_a father_n â—e_n have_v still_o shake_v the_o rod_n over_o i_o but_o not_o lay_v it_o on_o i_o that_o i_o may_v fear_v to_o offend_v he_o because_o i_o see_v his_o power_n and_o love_n and_o seek_v he_o because_o i_o taste_v his_o mercy_n my_o freedom_n at_o the_o year_n end_n purchase_v i_o have_v not_o yet_o in_o all_o these_o suffering_n bury_v the_o old_a man_n so_o much_o in_o i_o as_o that_o there_o remain_v not_o to_o much_o of_o he_o in_o my_o corruption_n notwithstanding_o all_o these_o extreme_n most_o of_o my_o estate_n i_o sell_v to_o satisfy_v such_o engagement_n as_o my_o trouble_n have_v pawn_v i_o in_o the_o surplus_n of_o which_o i_o dedicate_v not_o i_o confess_v that_o pious_a way_n i_o ought_v either_o in_o settle_v my_o then_o unsettle_a self_n in_o any_o honest_a call_v or_o convert_n my_o left_a stock_n to_o good_a employment_n but_o borrow_v too_o much_o liberty_n from_o god_n mercy_n i_o give_v myself_o to_o my_o pleasure_n which_o i_o call_v lawful_a recreation_n though_o in_o themselves_o not_o unlawful_a be_v moderate_o use_v yet_o sure_o very_o much_o unbeseeming_a such_o a_o penitent_a as_o i_o be_v or_o aught_o to_o have_v be_v and_o as_o if_o this_o have_v be_v nothing_o i_o go_v far_o further_a and_o put_v my_o money_n out_o to_o usury_n for_o which_o my_o curse_n be_v to_o be_v utter_o cheat_v of_o the_o most_o of_o it_o because_o god_n in_o his_o infinite_a goodness_n see_v that_o whilst_o i_o have_v any_o thing_n leave_v to_o feed_v my_o vanity_n withal_o i_o can_v not_o be_v make_v whole_o and_o full_o he_o thus_o have_v dispose_v myself_o of_o all_o way_n and_o power_n to_o live_v and_o maintain_v my_o family_n here_o i_o begin_v to_o lay_v this_o to_o myself_o that_o god_n have_v deserve_o and_o just_o take_v from_o i_o all_o that_o i_o be_v master_n of_o and_o to_o praise_v he_o for_o so_o gentle_a a_o chastisement_n and_o that_o now_o it_o lay_v upon_o i_o by_o invocate_a his_o blessing_n and_o endeavour_v myself_o in_o any_o course_n how_o difficult_a soever_o to_o leave_v something_o by_o my_o labour_n purchase_v for_o my_o wife_n and_o child_n since_o my_o sin_n have_v make_v they_o destitute_a never_o despair_a but_o that_o it_o may_v please_v god_n to_o preserve_v i_o and_o full_o to_o provide_v for_o i_o to_o this_o intent_n i_o be_v a_o earnest_a suitor_n about_o the_o court_n to_o some_o acquaintance_n of_o my_o wife_n only_o for_o employment_n foreign_a or_o domestical_a such_o as_o their_o discretion_n shall_v judge_v i_o fit_v for_o in_o this_o court-hope_a i_o languish_v long_o till_o my_o necessity_n strain_v my_o patience_n every_o course_n fail_v i_o on_o which_o i_o build_v at_o last_o no_o way_n be_v leave_v i_o but_o to_o ship_v myself_o for_o argeare_n in_o the_o last_o fleet_n depend_v still_o on_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n and_o resolve_v to_o serve_v faithful_o and_o resolute_o in_o all_o such_o action_n my_o commander_n shall_v impose_v on_o i_o in_o a_o ship_n call_v the_o vanguard_n vice-admiral_n of_o the_o fleet_n i_o be_v appoint_v by_o the_o general_n to_o the_o command_n of_o sir_n richard_n hawkins_n a_o gentleman_n from_o who_o i_o receive_v noble_a respect_n and_o worthy_a favour_n yet_o god_n that_o will_v not_o yet_o possess_v i_o of_o any_o certain_a quiet_a either_o in_o friend_n or_o fortune_n though_o my_o resolution_n be_v fix_v to_o all_o conformity_n and_o my_o desire_n whole_o dedicate_v to_o the_o redeem_n my_o lose_a credit_n with_o some_o good_a action_n still_o exagitated_a my_o companion_n with_o secret_a heartburning_n against_o i_o and_o for_o the_o lord_n be_v angry_a with_o i_o to_o who_o can_v i_o be_v acceptable_a he_o be_v at_o war_n with_o i_o from_o whence_o shall_v i_o expect_v peace_n these_o my_o enemy_n by_o daily_a provoking_n on_o purpose_n to_o tempt_v i_o so_o far_o that_o my_o fury_n may_v forfeit_v my_o life_n and_o make_v i_o forget_v myself_o and_o god_n that_o have_v not_o my_o wise_a captain_n prevent_v it_o by_o give_v i_o leave_v to_o depart_v home_o i_o be_o afraid_a i_o have_v confiscate_v my_o life_n to_o martial_a law_n and_o heap_v more_o blood_n upon_o my_o sinne-drenched_n soul_n thus_o be_v i_o deprive_v of_o all_o the_o comfort_n i_o resolve_v of_o and_o force_v thus_o to_o return_v home_o rather_o as_o it_o may_v be_v think_v with_o a_o addition_n of_o shame_n than_o garland_n of_o honour_n for_o god_n know_v how_o good_a soever_o to_o myself_o this_o course_n seem_v it_o be_v not_o fit_a for_o i_o neither_o be_v the_o time_n of_o my_o peace_n yet_o come_v in_o a_o ship_n call_v the_o marigold_n of_o london_n i_o be_v by_o my_o captain_n provide_v for_o to_o come_v home_o when_o in_o the_o very_a road_n of_o malaga_n in_o the_o face_n of_o the_o fleet_n and_o beginning_n of_o our_o voyage_n we_o have_v like_a to_o have_v perish_v have_v not_o the_o lord_n again_o extend_v his_o mercy_n two_o other_o english_a ship_n hoist_v sail_n with_o we_o our_o ship_n be_v foul_a of_o another_o ship_n which_o lie_v at_o anchor_n in_o the_o road_n and_o when_o she_o shall_v have_v looff_v she_o fall_v the_o contrary_a way_n as_o seem_v unwilling_a to_o venture_v herself_o at_o sea_n with_o so_o heavy_a a_o burden_n as_o i_o be_v charge_v with_o the_o sea_n be_v exceed_v high_a nor_o can_v the_o ship_n work_n be_v ever_o foul_a of_o one_o ship_n or_o another_o and_o in_o spite_n of_o all_o art_n and_o labour_n can_v be_v by_o the_o mariner_n employ_v she_o will_v to_o shore_n as_o if_o she_o desire_v to_o spew_v i_o out_o of_o her_o sick_a bowel_n and_o have_v she_o not_o in_o midst_n of_o all_o these_o danger_n by_o the_o let_a fall_n of_o a_o anchor_n be_v stop_v she_o have_v inevitable_o split_v upon_o a_o rock_n that_o be_v then_o menace_v she_o away_o be_v our_o companion_n go_v to_o sea_n and_o we_o thus_o leave_v than_o begin_v i_o to_o fear_v lest_o the_o seaman_n shall_v lay_v all_o this_o misadventure_n on_o i_o and_o pray_v fervent_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v not_o that_o way_n punish_v i_o but_o for_o his_o mercy_n sake_n deliver_v us._n with_o much_o labour_n and_o more_o fear_n at_o length_n we_o put_v to_o sea_n where_o we_o have_v not_o long_o be_v but_o on_o this_o side_n the_o strait_n of_o gibiralter_n when_o we_o be_v almost_o past_a fear_n still_o the_o judgement_n of_o god_n pursue_v i_o lest_o i_o shall_v forget_v five_o turk_n man_n of_o war_n bear_v up_o with_o we_o and_o like_o the_o fear_n of_o these_o the_o sea_n have_v none_o to_o resist_v we_o be_v unable_a though_o we_o address_v ourselves_o for_o fight_n and_o to_o be_v take_v slave_n to_o infidel_n and_o vassal_n to_o the_o common_a enemy_n of_o christ_n oh_o what_o can_v cruelty_n more_o devise_n to_o punish_v with_o or_o the_o tremble_a heart_n of_o deject_a man_n more_o fear_n to_o suffer_v under_o yet_o from_o this_o gape_a mischief_n the_o lord_n provide_v a_o unexpected_a delivery_n for_o those_o which_o be_v by_o nature_n the_o devourer_n of_o man_n prove_v our_o deliverer_n two_o lion_n we_o have_v aboard_o we_o which_o they_o know_v send_v from_o argear_n a_o present_a to_o our_o king_n for_o which_o cause_n in_o all_o likelihood_n they_o leave_v we_o without_o spoil_v that_o present_a intimate_v a_o league_n
church_n of_o england_n shall_v utter_o refuse_v i_o forsake_v and_o cast_v i_o off_o yet_o will_v i_o still_o hold_v this_o opinion_n and_o thus_o reverent_o esteem_v think_v and_o speak_v of_o this_o church_n and_o religion_n and_o will_v choose_v rather_o to_o live_v in_o concontinuall_a penury_n then_o to_o be_v of_o another_o mind_n for_o i_o be_o sure_a this_o religion_n be_v that_o which_o be_v teach_v in_o god_n holy_a word_n and_o therefore_o i_o must_v needs_o believe_v it_o as_o for_o the_o doctrine_n of_o the_o church_n of_o rome_n i_o can_v never_o find_v comfort_n in_o it_o only_o in_o that_o which_o they_o deny_v to_o layman_n that_o be_v the_o reading_z of_o the_o scripture_n do_v i_o find_v true_a ground_n of_o consolation_n true_a it_o be_v that_o simple_a and_o unstable_a man_n may_v abuse_v their_o read_n of_o the_o scripture_n unto_o error_n and_o by_o god_n gracious_a promise_n therein_o record_v may_v take_v occasion_n to_o presume_v and_o trust_v too_o much_o to_o their_o own_o faith_n and_o god_n mercy_n but_o this_o ought_v not_o to_o make_v we_o disclaim_v or_o to_o neglect_v the_o daily_a read_n of_o god_n sacred_a word_n for_o there_o be_v no_o mean_n like_o to_o this_o so_o powerful_a to_o keep_v man_n from_o commit_v of_o sin_n nor_o after_o sin_n commit_v to_o uphold_v they_o from_o fall_v into_o final_a desperation_n for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v desire_v as_o much_o as_o any_o sinner_n that_o ever_o be_v the_o content_a of_o this_o world_n base_a sinful_a pleasure_n riot_n vainglory_n revenge_n excess_n in_o prodigality_n and_o the_o like_a but_o these_o cross_n and_o calamity_n befalling_a i_o the_o read_n of_o the_o scripture_n accompany_v with_o the_o sweet_a conference_n and_o comfortable_a letter_n of_o merciful_a learned_a man_n who_o have_v deal_v with_o i_o those_o way_n in_o england_n and_o by_o write_v to_o i_o into_o the_o low_a country_n among_o who_o i_o can_v omit_v to_o name_n with_o reverence_n and_o thankful_a acknowledgement_n master_n trigg_n master_n buddle_n master_n crashaw_n and_o of_o late_a at_o lambeth_n master_n doctor_n goad_n and_o master_n doctor_n feat_o etc._n etc._n unto_o who_o i_o have_v sue_v as_o the_o woman_n do_v to_o christ_n even_o for_o crumb_n fall_v from_o our_o saviour_n table_n have_v most_o powerful_o open_v my_o eye_n and_o enlighten_v my_o heart_n and_o soul_n to_o see_v seal_n and_o taste_v god_n judgement_n and_o mercy_n my_o own_o sin_n and_o transgression_n the_o peace_n of_o conscience_n the_o difference_n of_o sinner_n penitent_a and_o impenitent_a cain_n saul_n achitophel_n and_o judas_n their_o despair_n and_o the_o confession_n and_o repentance_n of_o david_n peter_n and_o the_o rest_n of_o god_n saint_n see_v david_n that_o great_a anoint_a king_n and_o all_o the_o renown_a servant_n of_o god_n have_v confess_v their_o blood_n guiltiness_n and_o other_o foul_a sin_n and_o have_v repent_v of_o they_o and_o open_o exclaym_v against_o they_o shall_v i_o a_o wretch_n not_o worthy_a to_o be_v name_v among_o the_o mean_a of_o all_o deject_a sinner_n think_v it_o a_o shame_n to_o i_o and_o blush_v to_o confess_v my_o sin_n and_o open_o to_o publish_v my_o grief_n and_o repentance_n especial_o see_v now_o all_o the_o world_n learned_a man_n god_n messenger_n friend_n enemy_n the_o trouble_n and_o misery_n which_o i_o have_v sustain_v the_o peace_n and_o torment_n of_o conscience_n which_o i_o have_v feel_v do_v provoke_v i_o teach_v i_o drive_v i_o to_o confess_v my_o sin_n and_o offence_n offend_v and_o transgress_v the_o law_n of_o god_n i_o here_o therefore_o in_o bitterness_n of_o soul_n confess_v my_o fault_n and_o cry_v out_o against_o all_o my_o sin_n commit_v from_o my_o birth_n to_o this_o present_a from_o master_n storr_n his_o blood_n to_o every_o hurt_n and_o wrong_v which_o i_o have_v do_v to_o any_o in_o deed_n word_n or_o think_v not_o only_o for_o my_o cruelty_n and_o revenge_n do_v to_o man_n but_o for_o that_o i_o have_v since_o also_o think_v it_o lawful_a to_o defend_v myself_o with_o sword_n contrary_a to_o the_o law_n of_o god_n when_o i_o may_v perhaps_o better_o have_v do_v it_o by_o other_o mean_n it_o wound_v i_o to_o think_v of_o my_o blasphemous_a oath_n utter_v in_o passion_n and_o distemper_n my_o disobedience_n to_o my_o parent_n my_o excess_n my_o drink_n of_o health_n my_o prodigality_n yea_o my_o eat_n and_o drink_v of_o more_o than_o to_o suffice_v nature_n and_o my_o feed_n of_o horse_n and_o dog_n with_o man_n food_n such_o as_o many_o good_a christian_n want_v expect_v of_o the_o blessing_n for_o my_o faith_n without_o work_n and_o for_o believe_v without_o live_v of_o a_o sanctify_a life_n or_o true_o follow_v of_o a_o lawful_a call_n my_o open_a and_o secret_a sin_n my_o many_o motion_n to_o sin_n and_o too_o much_o yield_v to_o satan_n subtlety_n and_o my_o own_o imperfection_n vain_a and_o light_a disposition_n proneness_n to_o anger_n pleasure_n distrust_n despair_n my_o presumption_n when_o god_n show_v any_o miraculous_a deliverance_n or_o any_o mercy_n to_o my_o soul_n body_n or_o estate_n all_o these_o be_v as_o a_o terrible_a army_n of_o so_o many_o deadly_a foe_n and_o like_v so_o many_o sword_n and_o spear_n enter_v into_o my_o heart_n and_o soul_n when_o i_o consider_v with_o myself_o my_o own_o uncertain_a condition_n how_o when_o i_o have_v think_v myself_o safe_a and_o sure_a i_o have_v find_v immediate_o that_o i_o have_v be_v most_o uncertain_a and_o in_o great_a danger_n and_o when_o in_o great_a danger_n by_o god_n help_n and_o power_n most_o secure_a how_o in_o every_o pleasure_n and_o calamity_n i_o have_v find_v a_o bait_n and_o in_o every_o bait_n a_o hook_n and_o that_o though_o for_o the_o space_n of_o ten_o year_n last_o i_o have_v have_v a_o resolution_n not_o to_o sin_v with_o purpose_n but_o rater_n to_o die_v yet_o by_o my_o own_o weakness_n and_o wilfulness_n in_o passion_n i_o have_v fall_v into_o so_o innumerable_a and_o so_o abominable_a sin_n and_o have_v as_o it_o be_v trample_v under_o foot_n the_o blood_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n and_o return_v like_o the_o dog_n to_o his_o vomit_n and_o like_o the_o swine_n to_o the_o mire_n by_o my_o continual_a fall_n repent_v from_o the_o bottom_n of_o my_o heart_n for_o all_o and_o every_o sin_n which_o i_o have_v commit_v from_o my_o birth_n to_o this_o moment_n and_o upon_o the_o knee_n of_o my_o heart_n do_v with_o such_o humble_a desire_n and_o affection_n as_o the_o difference_n require_v between_o the_o mighty_a and_o almighty_a commander_n of_o heaven_n earth_n and_o sea_n and_o i_o one_o of_o the_o great_a sinner_n in_o the_o world_n a_o wretched_a vile_a worm_n of_o no_o reputation_n yea_o with_o as_o servant_n and_o vehement_a importunity_n as_o ever_o any_o thief_n do_v crave_v pardon_n or_o child_n mercy_n and_o forgiveness_n do_v i_o beg_v and_o sue_v for_o pardon_n of_o god_n the_o father_n of_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n the_o seer_n of_o the_o secret_n of_o all_o heart_n for_o his_o mercy_n sake_n who_o mercy_n be_v over_o all_o his_o work_n who_o mercy_n prevail_v and_o rejoice_v against_o his_o justice_n and_o who_o love_a kindness_n last_v for_o ever_o upon_o his_o promise_n make_v unto_o we_o in_o his_o holy_a word_n do_v i_o build_v all_o my_o hope_n and_o confidence_n even_o such_o as_o these_o follow_v viz._n that_o though_o our_o sin_n be_v as_o crimson_a or_o scarlet_n he_o will_v make_v they_o white_a as_o snow_n 1â—_n or_o wool_n that_o at_o what_o time_n soever_o a_o sinner_n do_v repent_v he_o will_v put_v out_o all_o his_o iniquite_v that_o if_o they_o will_v turn_v from_o their_o wickedness_n and_o do_v righteousness_n they_o shall_v not_o die_v but_o live_v that_o he_o have_v balm_n of_o gilead_n to_o heal_v the_o weak_a and_o sick_a also_o upon_o these_o promise_n of_o our_o lord_n jesus_n god_n equal_a with_o his_o father_n who_o say_v come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o travel_n and_o be_v heavy_a 25._o lade_v and_o i_o will_v ease_v you_o etc._n etc._n his_o disgrace_n reproach_n trouble_n tear_n sigh_n groan_n thorn_n scorn_n whip_v spit_v upon_o beat_v stripe_n sweat_v nail_v hang_v wound_a bleed_a out_o his_o heartblood_n passion_n death_n resurrection_n and_o ascension_n be_v so_o many_o salve_n and_o medicine_n to_o cure_v my_o bleed_a soul_n his_o blood_n speak_v better_a thing_n than_o the_o blood_n of_o abel_n and_o the_o cry_v thereof_o overcom_v the_o voice_n of_o master_n stors_n blood_n and_o of_o all_o other_o my_o loud_a cry_v sin_n which_o call_v to_o heaven_n for_o vengeance_n and_o therefore_o with_o this_o his_o blood_n which_o have_v satisfy_v for_o all_o temporal_a and_o eternal_a punishment_n do_v i_o come_v sprinkle_v before_o god_n