believe_v that_o as_o justification_n and_o sanctification_n be_v inseparable_a 2_o thes_n 2._o 13._o and_o that_o as_o one_o end_n of_o christ_n death_n be_v as_o well_o to_o redeem_v his_o people_n from_o all_o iniquity_n and_o the_o power_n of_o sin_n as_o from_o the_o punishment_n of_o sin_n so_o the_o power_n of_o grace_n be_v more_o strong_a and_o able_a to_o keep_v i_o from_o sin_n than_o all_o the_o legal_a band_n and_o slavish_a fear_n in_o the_o world_n tit._n 2._o 11._o and_o though_o possible_o i_o may_v meet_v with_o some_o temptation_n of_o that_o nature_n yet_o to_o the_o praise_n of_o his_o grace_n i_o can_v true_o say_v i_o never_o find_v my_o heart_n more_o engage_v for_o god_n and_o godliness_n and_o more_o disengage_v from_o sin_n than_o now_o which_o the_o lord_n keep_v i_o so_o and_o all_o his_o amen_o some_o brief_a observation_n from_o this_o three_o note_n of_o experience_n first_o concern_v my_o confidence_n in_o my_o former_a condition_n before_o i_o know_v these_o thing_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o person_n may_v be_v very_o confident_a on_o false_a ground_n and_o that_o it_o be_v not_o the_o confidence_n that_o make_v the_o condition_n good_a but_o the_o ground_n of_o it_o for_o though_o still_o i_o say_v i_o be_o incline_v to_o own_o the_o work_n of_o conversion_n to_o be_v begin_v in_o i_o at_o that_o time_n before_o say_v by_o some_o accidental_a or_o providential_a scatter_n of_o the_o seed_n of_o the_o gospel_n yet_o through_o false_a teach_n those_o seed_n be_v so_o bury_v under_o the_o ash_n of_o legal_a righteousness_n that_o there_o be_v a_o great_a power_n require_v to_o blow_v off_o those_o ash_n and_o to_o carry_v on_o that_o work_n than_o if_o it_o have_v never_o be_v begin_v according_a to_o that_o forementioned_a place_n matth._n 21._o 31._o how_o hard_o then_o must_v it_o need_v be_v to_o begin_v that_o work_n where_o there_o be_v only_o such_o a_o righteousness_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o legal_a righteousness_n where_o the_o work_n of_o conversion_n be_v begin_v in_o a_o soul_n be_v a_o great_a obstruction_n to_o the_o carry_v on_o and_o perfect_v of_o that_o work_n second_o concern_v the_o manner_n of_o the_o deal_n of_o god_n with_o i_o in_o the_o manifestation_n of_o his_o love_n and_o grace_n which_o be_v at_o this_o time_n by_o read_v as_o indeed_o however_o god_n be_v please_v to_o deal_v with_o other_o yet_o with_o i_o i_o can_v say_v but_o what_o i_o have_v receive_v i_o have_v always_o receive_v by_o and_o through_o some_o mean_n from_o whence_o i_o observe_v that_o it_o be_v good_a to_o wait_v on_o god_n in_o the_o use_n of_o all_o mean_n for_o though_o the_o holy_a one_o of_o israel_n be_v not_o limit_v yet_o ordinary_o he_o work_v by_o mean_n and_o leave_v no_o ground_n in_o holy_a scripture_n to_o expect_v he_o out_o of_o mean_n three_o concern_v my_o idolize_v those_o forementioned_a minister_n be_v keep_v by_o it_o from_o read_v or_o hear_v any_o other_o doctrine_n but_o they_o from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o it_o be_v a_o dangerous_a thing_n to_o esteem_v of_o person_n above_o what_o be_v meet_v and_o to_o be_v implicit_o lead_v by_o they_o in_o spiritual_a thing_n four_o concern_v my_o not_o receive_v the_o doctrine_n of_o free_a grace_n for_o fear_n of_o carnal_a liberty_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o such_o as_o be_v ignorant_a of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n be_v subject_a to_o this_o mistake_n to_o think_v it_o the_o way_n to_o sin_n when_o indeed_o there_o be_v no_o true_a holiness_n without_o it_o five_o concern_v its_o be_v so_o hard_o to_o i_o to_o lay_v down_o my_o own_o righteousness_n etc._n etc._n and_o yet_o that_o i_o shall_v do_v it_o with_o so_o much_o joy_n when_o i_o see_v clear_o the_o righteousness_n of_o christ_n to_o excel_v all_o from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o though_o it_o be_v a_o very_a hard_a thing_n for_o person_n eminent_a in_o legal_a righteousness_n to_o lay_v it_o down_o and_o submit_v to_o the_o righteousness_n of_o god_n by_o faith_n yet_o the_o appearance_n of_o the_o transcendent_a excellency_n of_o christ_n righteousness_n will_v make_v they_o do_v it_o with_o joy_n six_o concern_v my_o be_v so_o much_o affect_v with_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n at_o my_o first_o receive_v it_o that_o i_o can_v not_o but_o declare_v it_o to_o other_o from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o the_o glad_a tiding_n of_o the_o gospel_n be_v apply_v by_o the_o spirit_n of_o christ_n so_o glad_v the_o heart_n that_o when_o the_o soul_n first_o receive_v it_o its_o like_a fire_n that_o can_v be_v hide_v seven_o concern_v the_o effect_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n upon_o my_o heart_n engage_v i_o more_o to_o himself_o and_o disingage_v i_o more_o from_o sin_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o there_o be_v no_o engagement_n so_o strong_a to_o keep_v the_o soul_n from_o sin_v against_o god_n as_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n nor_o nothing_o more_o endear_v the_o heart_n to_o god_n yet_o doubtless_o where_o there_o be_v nothing_o but_o only_a the_o notion_n of_o it_o there_o be_v the_o great_a advantage_n to_o satan_n that_o can_v be_v and_o usual_o such_o person_n be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o other_o for_o though_o gospel_n bond_n be_v the_o best_a to_o be_v tie_v from_o sin_n by_o yet_o in_o many_o respect_v its_o better_a to_o be_v tie_v by_o legal_a bond_n than_o none_o at_o all_o yet_o for_o saint_n to_o be_v so_o tie_v be_v not_o only_o carnal_a and_o below_o their_o privilege_n but_o a_o great_a dishonour_n to_o christ_n and_o a_o undervalue_v of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n which_o above_o all_o thing_n ought_v to_o be_v exalt_v by_o we_o as_o that_o alone_a by_o which_o we_o be_v true_o exalt_v and_o therefore_o aught_o to_o lie_v as_o the_o strong_a engagement_n on_o saint_n heart_n to_o keep_v they_o from_o sin_n and_o see_v all_o that_o we_o be_v have_v or_o ever_o shall_v have_v as_o to_o happiness_n here_o or_o glory_n hereafter_o be_v all_o of_o grace_n i_o desire_v for_o ever_o to_o admire_v it_o and_o to_o live_v in_o the_o glory_n of_o it_o by_o faith_n but_o this_o i_o find_v of_o all_o other_o the_o hard_a lesson_n yea_o so_o hard_a that_o unto_o this_o day_n i_o have_v cause_n to_o complain_v of_o a_o unbelieve_a heart_n in_o many_o thing_n and_o i_o have_v often_o experience_v that_o to_o bring_v over_o the_o heart_n to_o believe_v and_o to_o keep_v it_o up_o in_o believe_v be_v no_o less_o than_o the_o mighty_a power_n and_o gift_n of_o god_n john_n 6._o 65._o phil_n 1._o 29._o ephesi_n 1._o 19_o yet_o in_o this_o i_o have_v strong_a consolation_n that_o i_o be_o keep_v by_o his_o power_n 1_o peter_z 1._o 5._o and_o he_o have_v say_v i_o will_v never_o leave_v thou_o nor_o forsake_v thou_o hebrew_n 13._o 5._o and_o as_o the_o lord_n once_o say_v to_o peter_n though_o satan_n shall_v desire_v to_o winnow_v i_o like_o wheat_n yet_o he_o have_v pray_v for_o i_o and_o my_o faith_n shall_v not_o fail_v and_o though_o the_o very_a reason_n why_o some_o person_n do_v not_o believe_v be_v for_o want_v of_o a_o clear_a understanding_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o the_o general_a tender_n of_o it_o to_o sinner_n yet_o all_o that_o have_v that_o understanding_n do_v not_o believe_v john_n 12._o 17._o there_o be_v some_o who_o heart_n be_v harden_v that_o they_o can_v not_o believe_v and_o act_n 13._o 41._o it_o be_v say_v of_o the_o jew_n they_o shall_v in_o no_o way_n believe_v the_o work_n of_o god_n though_o a_o man_n declare_v it_o to_o they_o that_o be_v to_o say_v though_o they_o do_v understand_v it_o and_o as_o faith_n be_v wrought_v in_o the_o soul_n by_o god_n so_o it_o be_v that_o by_o which_o we_o most_o honour_n he_o and_o without_o which_o it_o be_v impossible_a to_o please_v he_o faith_n work_v many_o way_n and_o it_o be_v a_o excellent_a thing_n to_o be_v strong_a in_o faith_n as_o we_o may_v see_v in_o those_o worthy_n hebrew_n 11._o it_o be_v the_o very_a life_n of_o saint_n galatian_n 2._o 20._o and_o without_o it_o there_o be_v no_o life_n in_o they_o john_n 6._o 53._o and_o as_o there_o be_v no_o life_n without_o it_o so_o there_o be_v no_o life_n above_o it_o till_o grace_v be_v swallow_v up_o in_o glory_n for_o the_o just_a shall_v live_v by_o faith_n hebrew_n the_o 10._o verse_n 38._o but_o though_o faith_n act_v many_o way_n and_o about_o many_o thing_n yet_o it_o must_v always_o act_v in_o free_a grace_n and_o there_o be_v no_o room_n for_o it_o elsewhere_o for_o when_o we_o go_v to_o exercise_v faith_n out_o of_o free_a grace_n it_o be_v weak_a and_o feeble_a and_o ready_a to_o
will_v save_v or_o damn_v i_o at_o last_o i_o know_v not_o neither_o do_v i_o think_v it_o possible_a for_o i_o ever_o to_o have_v know_v that_o except_o it_o be_v by_o some_o extraordinary_a way_n which_o very_o few_o do_v attain_v unto_o but_o by_o degree_n i_o begin_v to_o stay_v upon_o some_o promise_n through_o such_o consideration_n as_o these_o first_o i_o think_v it_o can_v not_o stand_v with_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n to_o damn_v a_o poor_a soul_n that_o have_v such_o heart-working_n and_o desire_n after_o he_o as_o i_o have_v have_v much_o in_o my_o thought_n those_o word_n of_o sampsons_n mother_n judges_z 13._o 23._o i_o think_v that_o if_o he_o do_v intend_v to_o destroy_v i_o he_o will_v never_o have_v give_v i_o such_o desire_n after_o he_o &_o preserve_v i_o till_o now_o and_o then_o that_o promise_n mat._n 5._o 6._o do_v much_o support_v i_o for_o i_o think_v that_o if_o ever_o poor_a creature_n do_v hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o righteousness_n i_o do_v these_o promise_n and_o consideration_n with_o some_o confuse_a apprehension_n that_o i_o have_v concern_v the_o lord_n jesus_n do_v much_o raise_v i_o the_o thought_n i_o have_v of_o he_o be_v such_o as_o these_o i_o do_v believe_v that_o the_o justice_n of_o god_n must_v be_v satisfy_v for_o sin_n and_o that_o nothing_o can_v satisfy_v his_o justice_n but_o a_o perfect_a righteousness_n now_o i_o think_v i_o be_v to_o be_v very_o strict_a and_o circumspect_a in_o all_o my_o way_n if_o it_o be_v possible_a to_o perform_v such_o a_o righteousness_n but_o what_o i_o can_v not_o do_v christ_n have_v do_v for_o i_o and_o when_o i_o have_v do_v any_o thing_n that_o i_o think_v be_v sin_n i_o can_v not_o apply_v christ_n till_o i_o have_v repent_v that_o be_v till_o i_o have_v mourn_v fast_v and_o pray_v afflict_v myself_o in_o such_o a_o measure_n as_o i_o think_v may_v stand_v with_o the_o not_o destroy_v or_o prejudice_v nature_n for_o there_o god_n will_v have_v mercy_n rather_o than_o sacrifice_v and_o jesus_n christ_n will_v make_v up_o that_o which_o be_v want_v so_o that_o christ_n be_v my_o stay_n though_o it_o be_v through_o a_o very_a carnal_a and_o wrong_a apprehension_n but_o though_o i_o think_v i_o must_v be_v so_o qualify_v and_o fit_v for_o christ_n before_o i_o can_v receive_v he_o and_o be_v make_v happy_a by_o he_o yet_o i_o know_v there_o be_v no_o mercy_n to_o be_v find_v without_o he_o nor_o no_o life_n but_o in_o he_o in_o this_o condition_n i_o live_v some_o year_n more_o and_o grow_v very_o cheerful_a &_o confident_a as_o i_o think_v it_o be_v possible_a to_o be_v under_o such_o a_o apprehension_n but_o yet_o my_o confidence_n be_v always_o more_o or_o less_o as_o i_o be_v more_o or_o less_o strict_a in_o my_o way_n and_o sometime_o though_o i_o have_v be_v never_o so_o strict_a yet_o i_o be_v subject_a to_o fear_v leave_v i_o have_v not_o do_v as_o much_o as_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o do_v for_o otherways_o i_o think_v christ_n will_v be_v nothing_o at_o all_o to_o i_o yet_o my_o hope_n be_v great_a than_o my_o fear_n and_o i_o be_v resolve_v if_o i_o perish_v i_o will_v perish_v here_o at_o the_o foot_n of_o christ_n and_o now_o i_o do_v not_o only_o see_v that_o possible_a which_o before_o i_o think_v impossible_a but_o i_o have_v great_a hope_n and_o much_o confidence_n most_o time_n this_o apprehension_n though_o it_o be_v that_o which_o be_v far_o below_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o the_o gospel_n yet_o it_o do_v present_a christ_n very_o lovely_a to_o i_o and_o do_v produce_v in_o i_o a_o real_a love_n to_o he_o as_o i_o dare_v not_o but_o so_o judge_n consider_v how_o i_o stand_v affect_v to_o and_o delight_v in_o whatever_o i_o know_v to_o be_v his_o will_n though_o i_o must_v confess_v i_o think_v at_o the_o first_o the_o great_a wheel_n that_o carry_v all_o about_o be_v my_o own_o good_a yet_o i_o be_o very_o confident_a that_o at_o this_o time_n i_o have_v a_o real_a love_n to_o &_o delight_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n and_o his_o commandment_n be_v not_o grievous_a to_o i_o but_o i_o do_v approve_v of_o they_o to_o be_v the_o most_o excellent_a thing_n because_o approve_v of_o by_o the_o lord_n and_o i_o well_o remember_v i_o be_v so_o far_o take_v off_o from_o delight_v in_o sin_n that_o i_o think_v i_o may_v say_v i_o do_v hate_v it_o with_o a_o perfect_a hatred_n as_o that_o which_o be_v in_o itself_o the_o only_a object_n of_o hatred_n as_o it_o be_v against_o god_n and_o all_o my_o delight_n be_v to_o be_v with_o those_o that_o i_o think_v do_v excel_v in_o virtue_n and_o i_o can_v not_o bear_v wicked_a person_n but_o their_o way_n and_o practice_n be_v odious_a to_o i_o yet_o still_o i_o say_v my_o condition_n at_o this_o time_n be_v a_o condition_n of_o extreme_a bondage_n and_o below_o the_o gospel_n i_o shall_v say_v no_o more_o of_o it_o but_o only_o this_o that_o what_o i_o have_v here_o write_v i_o think_v i_o may_v say_v be_v not_o the_o hundred_o part_n of_o the_o labour_n and_o travel_n of_o my_o soul_n while_o i_o live_v in_o that_o condition_n and_o if_o i_o shall_v go_v about_o to_o write_v it_o all_o i_o know_v not_o how_o nor_o when_o to_o make_v a_o end_n but_o god_n be_v please_v in_o mercy_n to_o free_v i_o from_o that_o bondage_n by_o the_o manifestation_n of_o his_o love_n and_o grace_n through_o his_o son_n to_o who_o be_v all_o praise_n and_o glory_n for_o ever_o more_o amen_n some_o brief_a observation_n from_o this_o second_o note_n of_o experience_n first_o concern_v the_o person_n by_o who_o my_o experience_n in_o these_o thing_n begin_v which_o be_v one_o as_o i_o judge_v not_o right_o call_v or_o send_v to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n he_o not_o be_v relate_v to_o a_o true_a church_n though_o otherwise_o i_o hope_v a_o godly_a man_n according_a to_o that_o measure_n of_o light_n he_o have_v receive_v from_o whence_o i_o observe_v that_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o a_o godly_a man_n in_o time_n of_o ignorance_n and_o darkness_n to_o be_v a_o minister_n of_o a_o false_a church_n second_o i_o observe_v that_o though_o it_o be_v not_o the_o work_n of_o a_o false_a ministry_n neither_o be_v it_o the_o way_n of_o god_n to_o convert_v soul_n by_o yet_o accidental_o or_o providential_o something_o may_v be_v do_v that_o way_n by_o they_o especial_o in_o time_n of_o persecution_n where_o there_o be_v not_o a_o true_a ministry_n abroad_o as_o indeed_o i_o be_o much_o incline_v to_o own_o the_o work_n of_o conversion_n to_o be_v begin_v in_o i_o at_o this_o time_n and_o that_o for_o these_o reason_n first_o because_o now_o be_v the_o day_n of_o god_n power_n noâ—_n only_o to_o make_v i_o willing_a but_o there_o be_v some_o change_n wrought_v in_o the_o whole_a soul_n and_o every_o faculty_n of_o it_o which_o before_o be_v dead_a have_v now_o some_o life_n and_o motion_n in_o thing_n relate_v to_o god_n and_o godliness_n as_o the_o understanding_n be_v open_v so_o the_o will_n be_v change_v and_o make_v willing_a to_o submit_v to_o truth_n and_o to_o embrace_v the_o way_n of_o life_n though_o it_o be_v through_o the_o great_a difficulty_n yet_o in_o much_o darkness_n and_o then_o the_o affection_n be_v take_v and_o though_o there_o be_v but_o a_o little_a glimpse_n of_o truth_n appear_v yet_o there_o be_v a_o love_n to_o it_o and_o delight_n in_o it_o and_o a_o great_a hatred_n of_o the_o contrary_a all_o which_o i_o apprehend_v can_v not_o be_v but_o from_o some_o seed_n of_o the_o gospel_n though_o through_o false_a teach_n there_o be_v not_o that_o bless_a fruit_n of_o joy_n and_o peace_n in_o believe_v also_o the_o memory_n be_v active_a and_o busy_a to_o retain_v truth_n so_o that_o here_o be_v some_o change_n wrought_v in_o the_o whole_a soul_n as_o aforesaid_a a_o second_o reason_n be_v because_o when_o i_o lie_v under_o conviction_n of_o sin_n by_o the_o law_n and_o be_v ready_a to_o sink_v under_o my_o burden_n that_o which_o do_v support_v and_o uphold_v my_o spirit_n be_v the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n though_o my_o apprehension_n of_o he_o be_v not_o according_a to_o the_o gospel_n as_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n therein_o contain_v a_o three_o reason_n be_v from_o the_o consideration_n of_o that_o fruit_n which_o do_v appear_v at_o that_o time_n which_o be_v a_o entire_a love_n to_o christ_n and_o a_o conversation_n suitable_a thereunto_o according_a to_o the_o light_n then_o receive_v for_o there_o be_v not_o only_o a_o do_v good_a but_o a_o love_n to_o it_o and_o delight_n in_o it_o and_o there_o be_v not_o only_o a_o forbear_n evil_a
but_o a_o hatred_n and_o indignation_n against_o it_o it_o be_v thus_o with_o i_o at_o this_o time_n i_o can_v but_o much_o tender_a person_n in_o the_o like_a condition_n who_o do_v manifest_a by_o a_o good_a conversation_n a_o real_a work_n of_o god_n upon_o their_o heart_n though_o live_v in_o a_o discovery_n below_o the_o privilege_n of_o the_o gospel_n yet_o not_o so_o to_o tender_v they_o as_o not_o to_o tender_v the_o glory_n of_o truth_n above_o they_o be_v true_a to_o my_o principle_n in_o keep_v a_o strict_a separation_n from_o they_o in_o relation_n to_o their_o visible_a and_o public_a worship_n it_o be_v contrary_a to_o the_o rule_n of_o the_o gospel_n three_o observation_n from_o the_o three_o forego_v reason_n first_o concern_v the_o change_n wrought_v in_o the_o whole_a soul_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o there_o may_v be_v a_o change_n wrought_v in_o the_o whole_a soul_n to_o life_n and_o godliness_n long_o before_o that_o soul_n come_v to_o enjoy_v life_n by_o believe_v second_o concern_v my_o be_v stay_v upon_o christ_n when_o i_o be_v like_a to_o sink_v upder_v my_o burden_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o a_o soul_n may_v cleave_v to_o and_o real_o stay_v upon_o christ_n through_o some_o apprehension_n which_o present_v he_o lovely_a though_o it_o may_v be_v that_o which_o do_v not_o present_v he_o so_o lovely_a as_o indeed_o he_o be_v three_o concern_v that_o entire_a love_n i_o have_v to_o christ_n and_o his_o way_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o though_o the_o love_n of_o christ_n manifest_v to_o a_o soul_n be_v that_o which_o ordinary_o beget_v love_n in_o the_o soul_n to_o christ_n yet_o its_o possible_a there_o may_v be_v a_o real_a love_n to_o he_o before_o there_o be_v such_o a_o manifestation_n now_o have_v mind_v many_o particular_n as_o to_o my_o condition_n at_o that_o time_n when_o i_o do_v experience_n these_o thing_n i_o can_v altogether_o omit_v the_o kindness_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o in_o relation_n to_o persecution_n which_o though_o it_o be_v but_o small_a comparative_o with_o some_o other_o yet_o it_o be_v more_o than_o some_o meet_v with_o and_o it_o be_v that_o indeed_o which_o do_v require_v some_o strength_n from_o the_o lord_n to_o undergo_v it_o with_o comfort_n in_o which_o he_o not_o be_v want_v to_o i_o i_o judge_v it_o ought_v not_o to_o be_v forget_v by_o i_o and_o as_o i_o have_v comfort_n in_o it_o at_o that_o time_n present_a so_o i_o be_o still_o well_o satisfy_v that_o i_o suffer_v not_o as_o a_o evil_a doer_n because_o what_o i_o do_v then_o be_v upon_o a_o conscientious_a account_n according_a to_o that_o light_n receive_v i_o can_v mention_v many_o particular_n but_o i_o forbear_v hearty_o desire_v that_o it_o may_v never_o be_v lay_v to_o their_o charge_n but_o this_o book_n be_v intend_v by_o i_o as_o a_o remembrancer_n of_o the_o former_a deal_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o i_o think_v it_o not_o altogether_o useless_a as_o to_o remember_v the_o time_n i_o be_v in_o that_o condition_n &_o the_o manner_n how_o i_o be_v bring_v from_o it_o so_o also_o the_o time_n when_o i_o be_v bring_v from_o it_o and_o that_o be_v after_o the_o bishop_n be_v quite_o take_v away_o in_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o sit_v of_o the_o late_a synod_n and_o here_o i_o desire_v to_o remember_v with_o thankfulness_n to_o god_n that_o i_o be_v not_o ensnare_v by_o the_o change_n of_o time_n and_o law_n for_o at_o that_o very_a time_n when_o the_o presbyterian_a party_n so_o call_v begin_v to_o reign_v and_o i_o may_v have_v reign_v with_o they_o and_o enjoy_v smile_n from_o they_o be_v convict_v of_o a_o further_a discovery_n of_o truth_n i_o leave_v they_o and_o be_v content_a to_o become_v a_o scorn_n and_o a_o byword_n among_o they_o though_o i_o must_v confess_v i_o have_v much_o respect_n from_o some_o of_o they_o all_o along_o yet_o my_o suffering_n from_o that_o party_n be_v far_o more_o than_o the_o former_a i_o can_v here_o mention_v many_o particular_n but_o i_o forbear_v desire_v as_o for_o the_o former_a it_o may_v not_o be_v charge_v upon_o they_o only_o these_o general_a hint_n i_o hope_v will_v be_v sufficient_a to_o bring_v particular_n to_o my_o remembrance_n for_o these_o thing_n ought_v not_o to_o be_v forget_v by_o i_o because_o in_o the_o remembrance_n of_o they_o i_o find_v my_o heart_n much_o engage_v in_o praise_n to_o god_n and_o that_o several_a way_n one_o way_n and_o that_o not_o the_o least_o be_v that_o god_n have_v break_v their_o power_n for_o indeed_o i_o must_v needs_o say_v that_o according_a to_o my_o observation_n and_o experience_n i_o have_v see_v as_o persecute_v a_o spirit_n in_o they_o as_o ever_o i_o do_v in_o the_o former_a and_o they_o do_v appear_v as_o bitter_a if_o not_o more_o against_o such_o as_o be_v call_v anabaptist_n than_o ever_o the_o bishop_n do_v against_o those_o that_o be_v call_v puritan_n consider_v their_o time_n and_o power_n for_o as_o their_o time_n be_v short_a so_o when_o their_o power_n be_v high_a there_o be_v always_o a_o party_n which_o do_v a_o little_a awe_n they_o i_o shall_v say_v no_o more_o of_o these_o thing_n but_o that_o as_o i_o desire_v for_o ever_o to_o bless_v the_o lord_n in_o the_o remembrance_n of_o they_o so_o i_o do_v likewise_o desire_v that_o god_n will_v destroy_v or_o at_o least_o keep_v under_o every_o persecute_v spirit_n under_o what_o name_n or_o title_n soever_o call_v till_o he_o be_v please_v to_o give_v they_o repentance_n the_o three_o note_n of_o experience_n how_o i_o be_v bring_v to_o apprehend_v and_o believe_v the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o the_o gospel_n and_o in_o believe_v to_o receive_v the_o assurance_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o order_n to_o this_o experience_n i_o can_v omit_v to_o write_v something_o concern_v the_o read_n of_o a_o book_n by_o which_o as_o a_o mean_n in_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n i_o receive_v these_o never_o to_o be_v forget_v mercy_n after_o i_o have_v live_v about_o five_o or_o six_o year_n a_o strict_a professor_n be_v very_o confident_a and_o settle_a upon_o the_o lees_n of_o legal_a righteousness_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n there_o come_v a_o man_n to_o the_o town_n where_o i_o live_v who_o though_o he_o be_v general_o repute_v to_o be_v a_o honest_a man_n yet_o he_o be_v much_o oppose_v as_o hold_v gross_a error_n in_o his_o judgement_n and_o hear_v many_o speak_v very_o bitter_o against_o he_o i_o do_v much_o ponder_v it_o in_o my_o heart_n not_o daâ—ing_v as_o nicodemus_n speak_v concern_v christ_n john_n 7._o 50._o to_o judge_v before_o i_o hear_v and_o therefore_o i_o resolve_v to_o speak_v with_o he_o which_o according_o i_o do_v and_o find_v he_o speak_v such_o thing_n as_o i_o never_o hear_v before_o which_o i_o then_o ignorant_o judge_v to_o be_v error_n the_o thing_n he_o chief_o speak_v of_o be_v about_o free_a grace_n the_o nature_n of_o the_o gospel_n and_o the_o new_a covenant_n and_o though_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o gain_v say_v the_o truth_n of_o what_o he_o speak_v yet_o for_o fear_n of_o those_o evil_a consequence_n that_o a_o carnal_a heart_n may_v draw_v from_o they_o i_o can_v not_o receive_v it_o but_o after_o some_o discourse_n in_o much_o opposition_n yet_o not_o bitter_a against_o he_o in_o the_o close_a he_o desire_v to_o lend_v i_o a_o book_n in_o which_o he_o say_v concern_v the_o thing_n he_o speak_v i_o may_v find_v better_a satisfaction_n than_o he_o can_v give_v be_v but_o weak_a in_o expression_n so_o i_o take_v it_o home_o with_o i_o but_o be_v much_o afraid_a of_o error_n i_o be_v at_o a_o great_a dispute_n in_o my_o own_o spirit_n whether_o i_o shall_v read_v it_o or_o not_o but_o fear_v lest_o i_o shall_v seem_v to_o shut_v my_o eye_n against_o the_o light_n at_o last_o i_o come_v to_o this_o result_n that_o i_o will_v read_v it_o but_o first_o set_v a_o part_n a_o day_n by_o fast_v and_o prayer_n to_o seek_v the_o lord_n that_o what_o be_v truth_n in_o it_o i_o may_v embrace_v and_o that_o he_o will_v keep_v and_o preserve_v i_o from_o error_n which_o according_o i_o do_v and_o find_v the_o drist_n and_o scope_n of_o the_o book_n be_v to_o exalt_v god_n and_o lay_v low_a the_o creature_n i_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o it_o as_o also_o with_o some_o other_o particular_n but_o on_o the_o other_o hand_n these_o minister_n who_o word_n be_v then_o as_o oracle_n to_o i_o do_v so_o much_o cry_v out_o against_o it_o charge_v all_o to_o take_v heed_n of_o it_o it_o be_v full_a of_o error_n of_o dangerous_a consequence_n that_o when_o i_o come_v about_o the_o middle_n of_o it_o i_o be_v so_o surprise_v with_o fear_n of_o carnal_a liberty_n
mere_o by_o their_o word_n that_o i_o dare_v read_v it_o no_o further_o but_o send_v it_o home_o again_o resolve_v to_o stick_v to_o my_o old_a principle_n and_o so_o resolve_v i_o be_v that_o i_o judge_v it_o my_o duty_n and_o according_o do_v praise_v the_o lord_n that_o i_o have_v escape_v that_o snare_n and_o stumble_a block_n which_o it_o be_v like_a to_o be_v to_o i_o till_o about_o half_a a_o year_n after_o these_o forementioned_a minister_n not_o be_v satisfy_v to_o speak_v against_o those_o book_n in_o private_a only_o but_o bring_v they_o into_o their_o pulpit_n read_v particular_a passage_n which_o as_o they_o read_v and_o apply_v it_o be_v contrary_a to_o the_o sense_n of_o it_o and_o sometime_o i_o think_v they_o speak_v more_o than_o be_v true_a which_o do_v occasion_v i_o to_o desire_v the_o book_n again_o for_o my_o better_a satisfaction_n but_o they_o not_o be_v allow_v to_o be_v sell_v at_o that_o time_n it_o be_v hard_a to_o get_v any_o of_o they_o but_o through_o mercy_n i_o get_v one_o and_o then_o i_o find_v they_o do_v not_o deal_v faithful_o but_o do_v wrest_v and_o draw_v false_a con_fw-mi sequence_n contrary_a to_o the_o drist_n and_o scope_n of_o it_o all_o which_o occasion_v serious_a thought_n in_o i_o remember_v when_o i_o first_o read_v it_o i_o lay_v it_o aside_o mere_o from_o a_o spirit_n of_o fear_n and_o prejudice_v occasion_v by_o their_o word_n and_o not_o that_o i_o be_v able_a to_o disprove_v it_o from_o scripture_n ground_n then_o remember_v those_o word_n of_o the_o apostle_n i_o thes_n 5._o 21._o try_v all_o thing_n and_o hold_v fast_o that_o which_o be_v good_a i_o think_v it_o my_o duty_n to_o lay_v aside_o all_o slavish_a fear_n and_o prejudice_n and_o to_o try_v it_o exact_o by_o the_o scripture_n believe_v that_o as_o it_o be_v god_n way_n to_o try_v so_o he_o will_v assist_v i_o in_o it_o which_o he_o be_v please_v to_o do_v and_o as_o i_o read_v i_o begin_v to_o be_v much_o affect_v and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v glad_a tiding_n and_o good_a news_n if_o it_o be_v true_a but_o i_o think_v it_o be_v too_o good_a to_o be_v true_a for_o i_o can_v not_o then_o believe_v that_o god_n be_v so_o free_a of_o his_o christ_n as_o to_o give_v he_o to_o any_o other_o sinner_n but_o to_o such_o as_o be_v qualify_v fit_v and_o prepare_v for_o he_o or_o that_o the_o way_n to_o glory_n be_v so_o easy_a as_o he_o seem_v to_o make_v it_o for_o if_o it_o be_v so_o than_o all_o that_o labour_n and_o travel_v which_o i_o have_v be_v a_o long_a time_n in_o be_v nothing_o which_o i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n yield_v to_o at_o that_o time_n for_o as_o christ_n once_o say_v to_o the_o jew_n that_o publican_n and_o harlot_n enter_v into_o the_o kingdom_n before_o they_o mat._n 21._o 31._o so_o true_o i_o find_v it_o so_o hard_a to_o lay_v down_o my_o own_o legal_a righteousness_n and_o to_o submit_v to_o the_o righteousness_n of_o god_n by_o faith_n according_a to_o rom._n 10._o 3._o that_o i_o be_v like_a to_o stick_v here_o when_o such_o as_o be_v more_o profane_a may_v receive_v the_o truth_n soon_o but_o serious_o weigh_v these_o with_o some_o other_o such_o like_a scripture_n as_o rom._n 4._o 4._o and_o 5._o 8._o ephe._n 2._o through_o grace_n i_o be_v in_o a_o great_a measure_n convince_v and_o bring_v to_o see_v that_o i_o have_v be_v exceed_o mistake_v in_o my_o understanding_n and_o apply_v of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o whereas_o i_o think_v i_o have_v attain_v a_o good_a degree_n of_o knowledge_n i_o now_o see_v myself_o to_o be_v very_o ignorant_a and_o must_v begin_v again_o to_o learn_v the_o first_o principle_n of_o the_o oracle_n of_o god_n which_o to_o suffer_v so_o much_o loss_n be_v very_o hard_o to_o i_o at_o the_o first_o but_o god_n be_v please_v by_o degree_n to_o strip_v i_o of_o all_o and_o to_o show_v i_o such_o a_o beauty_n and_o excellency_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n above_o it_o that_o i_o be_v make_v not_o only_o willing_a but_o joyous_a to_o lay_v down_o all_o at_o his_o foot_n and_o i_o trust_v can_v true_o say_v with_o the_o apostle_n that_o what_o be_v gain_v to_o i_o i_o count_v loss_n for_o christ_n yea_o doubtless_o and_o i_o count_v all_o thing_n but_o loss_n for_o the_o excellency_n of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o christ_n jesus_n my_o lord_n for_o who_o i_o have_v suffer_v the_o loss_n of_o all_o thing_n and_o do_v count_v they_o but_o dung_n that_o i_o may_v win_v christ_n and_o be_v find_v in_o he_o etc._n etc._n phil._n 3_o 7_o 8_o 9_o etc._n etc._n and_o as_o god_n have_v exalt_v christ_n to_o be_v a_o prince_n and_o a_o saviour_n act_v 5._o 31._o and_o have_v choose_v he_o as_o the_o only_a excellent_a one_o in_o who_o he_o have_v place_v life_n and_o salvation_n for_o people_n mat._n 12._o 18._o so_o my_o soul_n do_v approve_v of_o it_o to_o be_v the_o most_o excellent_a way_n and_o i_o trust_v can_v true_o say_v with_o the_o spouse_n he_o be_v the_o chief_a of_o ten_o thousand_o you_o he_o be_v one_o and_o there_o be_v not_o another_o cant._n 5._o 10._o act._n 4._o 12._o and_o the_o more_o i_o come_v to_o apprehend_v the_o glory_n of_o the_o gospel_n in_o the_o free_a tender_n and_o invitation_n of_o christ_n to_o sinner_n the_o more_o still_o i_o be_v affect_v with_o it_o and_o do_v admire_v it_o and_o see_v the_o tender_v of_o grace_n so_o free_a and_o the_o invitation_n so_o general_a that_o whosoever_o will_v come_v may_v come_v and_o take_v of_o the_o water_n of_o life_n free_o esay_n 55._o 1._o revel_v 22._o 17._o and_o that_o whosoever_o come_v to_o christ_n he_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_n out_o john_n 6._o 37._o by_o which_o word_n come_v i_o understand_v believe_v vers_fw-la 40._o and_o then_o consider_v the_o nature_n of_o the_o covenant_n that_o it_o be_v a_o covenant_n of_o grace_n free_a and_o without_o all_o condition_n on_o the_o creature_n part_n and_o that_o the_o condition_n stand_v only_o between_o god_n and_o christ_n as_o i_o then_o understand_v by_o these_o scripture_n esay_n 53._o 10._o psal_n 89._o through_o these_o consideration_n i_o be_v not_o only_o encourage_v but_o the_o abound_a love_n of_o christ_n do_v compel_v and_o constrain_v i_o to_o cast_v myself_o upon_o he_o for_o life_n and_o salvation_n in_o a_o way_n of_o believe_v and_o not_o in_o a_o way_n of_o work_v and_o to_o the_o praise_n of_o his_o grace_n as_o i_o desire_v never_o to_o forget_v it_o i_o do_v at_o this_o time_n receive_v the_o assurance_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o believe_v the_o free_a and_o full_a pardon_n of_o all_o my_o sin_n that_o god_n have_v lay_v they_o all_o upon_o christ_n and_o behold_v the_o travel_n of_o his_o soul_n be_v satisfy_v esay_n 53._o 11._o and_o well_o please_v with_o i_o in_o he_o mat._n 3._o 17._o and_o that_o they_o be_v all_o carry_v into_o the_o wilderness_n of_o forgetfulness_n and_o bury_v in_o oblivion_n according_a to_o that_o type_n of_o christ_n levit._n 16._o 21_o 22._o and_o that_o they_o be_v wash_v away_o in_o his_o blood_n revel_v 1._o 5._o and_o that_o god_n will_v remember_v they_o no_o more_o heb._n 8._o 12._o and_o 10._o 17._o these_o scripture_n with_o some_o other_o of_o the_o like_a nature_n be_v by_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n set_v home_o so_o powerful_o upon_o my_o heart_n at_o that_o time_n that_o true_o i_o can_v express_v the_o joyfulness_n and_o sweetness_n of_o my_o condition_n not_o be_v able_a to_o contain_v myself_o from_o call_v to_o other_o to_o tell_v they_o what_o god_n have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n how_o he_o have_v bring_v i_o out_o of_o bondage_n into_o the_o glorious_a liberty_n of_o adoption_n and_o fill_v i_o with_o joy_n and_o peace_n in_o believe_v yea_o with_o joy_n unspeakable_a and_o full_a of_o glory_n rom._n 15._o 13._o 1_o pet._n 1._o 8._o and_o i_o remember_v for_o a_o long_a time_n after_o i_o do_v delight_n to_o be_v almost_o continual_o speak_v or_o meditate_v of_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o the_o gospel_n and_o of_o his_o bounty_n and_o goodness_n to_o poor_a sinner_n and_o to_o i_o the_o chief_a of_o sinner_n for_o i_o know_v more_o evil_a by_o myself_o than_o i_o do_v by_o any_o other_o yet_o doubtless_o i_o can_v say_v as_o it_o be_v once_o say_v of_o the_o thessalonian_o the_o gosspel_n come_v not_o to_o i_o at_o that_o time_n in_o word_n only_o but_o in_o power_n and_o much_o assurance_n and_o joy_n in_o the_o holy_a ghost_n 1_o thes_n 1._o 5._o and_o whereas_o former_o i_o think_v that_o to_o receive_v such_o a_o principle_n be_v the_o ready_a way_n to_o be_v loose_a and_o carnal_a i_o do_v
as_o 1_o thes_n 5._o 17._o etc._n etc._n but_o yet_o notwithstanding_o i_o be_v dissatisfy_v about_o it_o that_o notion_n of_o wait_v carry_v such_o a_o show_n of_o spirituality_n i_o can_v not_o easy_o let_v it_o go_v but_o yet_o this_o trial_n have_v so_o shake_v it_o that_o i_o do_v begin_v much_o to_o question_v it_o and_o also_o those_o other_o notion_n of_o the_o like_a nature_n than_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o bring_v we_o safe_a to_o land_n through_o which_o mercy_n i_o have_v some_o little_a communion_n with_o god_n be_v able_a to_o speak_v of_o his_o goodness_n in_o deliver_v we_o from_o that_o danger_n but_o through_o that_o dissatisfaction_n which_o still_o remain_v in_o i_o about_o these_o notion_n it_o be_v interrupt_v again_o and_o my_o beloved_a have_v withdraw_v himself_o and_o i_o be_v very_o much_o trouble_v not_o know_v where_o to_o rest_v nor_o what_o to_o do_v but_o notwithstanding_o i_o do_v begin_v much_o to_o question_v those_o thing_n from_o that_o trial_n i_o have_v of_o they_o on_o the_o sea_n yet_o i_o be_v more_o incline_v to_o they_o than_o to_o truth_n for_o some_o time_n especial_o to_o that_o of_o prayer_n and_o three_o or_o four_o time_n after_o i_o remember_v in_o discourse_n with_o some_o friend_n i_o do_v a_o little_a plead_v for_o they_o which_o though_o it_o be_v my_o sin_n so_o to_o do_v i_o do_v not_o then_o know_v it_o but_o must_v needs_o say_v i_o do_v as_o simple_o and_o sincere_o aim_v at_o do_v the_o will_n of_o god_n in_o all_o those_o thing_n as_o ever_o i_o do_v in_o any_o thing_n and_o therefore_o though_o satan_n have_v so_o beguile_v i_o yet_o i_o obtain_v mercy_n because_o i_o do_v it_o ignorant_o but_o my_o trouble_n and_o want_v of_o communion_n with_o god_n do_v still_o increase_v insomuch_o that_o i_o be_v scarce_o able_a to_o bear_v my_o burden_n and_o speak_v of_o it_o to_o my_o husband_n who_o be_v at_o that_o time_n much_o in_o the_o same_o condition_n i_o remember_v among_o many_o word_n he_o speak_v some_o be_v to_o this_o purpose_n that_o see_v we_o be_v in_o such_o a_o condition_n and_o at_o such_o a_o loss_n it_o be_v best_a to_o speak_v but_o little_a that_o as_o we_o do_v but_o little_a good_a we_o may_v do_v but_o little_a harm_n which_o i_o do_v well_o approve_v of_o and_o after_o that_o i_o speak_v little_a for_o or_o against_o any_o thing_n till_o i_o be_v better_o satisfy_v then_o be_v so_o true_o in_o a_o day_n of_o adversity_n according_a to_o that_o counsel_n of_o the_o wise_a man_n in_o eccles_n 7._o 14._o i_o sit_v down_o serious_o to_o consider_v what_o may_v be_v the_o cause_n of_o my_o be_v in_o so_o sad_a and_o strange_a a_o condition_n through_o which_o consideration_n by_o degree_n i_o come_v to_o see_v and_o conclude_v that_o certain_o there_o be_v something_o amiss_o in_o my_o judgement_n as_o to_o those_o notion_n begin_v clear_o to_o discern_v they_o do_v so_o oppose_v and_o contradict_v my_o former_a receive_a principle_n that_o they_o can_v not_o stand_v together_o but_o if_o one_o be_v true_a the_o other_o be_v false_a and_o that_o i_o must_v leave_v the_o one_o or_o the_o other_o for_o though_o i_o have_v receive_v the_o new_a i_o can_v never_o full_o quit_v the_o old_a neither_o in_o judgement_n nor_o practice_n then_o i_o be_v restless_a in_o my_o desire_n for_o three_o or_o four_o day_n to_o know_v which_o of_o the_o two_o be_v truth_n oft_o time_n earnest_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v decide_v the_o controversy_n and_o discover_v to_o i_o which_o be_v according_a to_o his_o mind_n and_o which_o not_o be_v full_o satisfy_v that_o but_o one_o of_o they_o can_v be_v truth_n than_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o put_v i_o upon_o a_o particular_a examination_n what_o ground_n i_o have_v in_o scripture_n and_o what_o experience_n i_o have_v of_o both_o &_o in_o read_v and_o examine_v my_o scripture-ground_n i_o begin_v to_o discern_v a_o great_a inclination_n in_o my_o heart_n to_o the_o former_a principle_n find_v i_o think_v the_o scripture_n very_o full_a and_o plain_a for_o they_o but_o nothing_o for_o the_o other_o but_o what_o be_v from_o some_o dark_a mysterious_a interpretation_n which_o be_v very_o doubtful_a and_o for_o my_o own_o experience_n i_o do_v remember_v and_o be_v constrain_v to_o acknowledge_v that_o in_o receive_v and_o keep_v close_o to_o the_o fotmer_n i_o have_v joy_n and_o peace_n and_o much_o satisfaction_n and_o communion_n with_o god_n but_o since_o i_o receive_v the_o other_o the_o lord_n have_v as_o it_o be_v hide_v his_o face_n from_o i_o and_o i_o be_v fill_v with_o confusion_n and_o distraction_n and_o the_o remembrance_n of_o that_o trial_n i_o have_v of_o they_o upon_o the_o sea_n do_v very_o much_o help_v i_o now_o to_o see_v the_o falsity_n of_o they_o that_o in_o a_o time_n of_o trial_n i_o dare_v not_o stick_v to_o they_o as_o indeed_o i_o plain_o see_v that_o i_o can_v never_o stick_v to_o they_o so_o as_o to_o answer_v they_o full_o in_o my_o practice_n unless_o i_o shall_v have_v lay_v aside_o the_o appearance_n of_o godliness_n &_o have_v be_v very_o profane_a the_o consideration_n of_o which_o with_o some_o other_o evil_a consequence_n which_o i_o see_v clear_o do_v natural_o attend_v those_o thing_n be_v another_o mean_n by_o which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o recover_v i_o from_o they_o and_o to_o discover_v satan_n under_o his_o veil_n to_o i_o how_o by_o these_o thing_n he_o do_v intend_v if_o the_o lord_n have_v not_o prevent_v he_o to_o have_v strip_v i_o of_o all_o my_o hope_n and_o in_o particular_a as_o to_o that_o of_o be_v save_v by_o a_o christ_n within_o and_o not_o by_o a_o christ_n without_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o that_o it_o be_v quite_o another_o thing_n differ_v from_o the_o gospel_n and_o that_o it_o be_v attend_v with_o this_o evil_a consequence_n even_o to_o overthrow_v the_o whole_a gospel_n and_o to_o deny_v the_o lord_n that_o buy_v they_o at_o the_o thought_n of_o which_o my_o soul_n do_v tremble_v and_o that_o if_o he_o shall_v have_v prevail_v here_o all_o my_o hope_n be_v go_v for_o i_o can_v not_o nor_o dare_v not_o rest_v on_o any_o thing_n in_o myself_o as_o a_o ground_n of_o hope_n for_o life_n and_o salvation_n but_o on_o the_o other_o hand_n concern_v my_o hope_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n according_a to_o the_o gospel_n i_o can_v true_o say_v of_o that_o as_o peter_n do_v john_n 6._o 68_o lord_n whither_o shall_v we_o go_v thou_o have_v the_o word_n of_o eternal_a life_n so_o whither_o shall_v i_o go_v from_o the_o gospel_n there_o be_v the_o word_n of_o eternal_a life_n there_o be_v all_o my_o rest_n and_o hope_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n through_o the_o gospel_n and_o therefore_o i_o resolve_v in_o the_o strength_n of_o christ_n to_o stick_v to_o this_o and_o leave_v the_o other_o then_o second_o as_o to_o that_o of_o wait_v for_o a_o power_n to_o pray_v and_o that_o there_o be_v no_o command_n but_o from_o within_o concern_v both_o these_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o that_o it_o be_v not_o according_a to_o his_o mind_n but_o a_o mere_a invention_n of_o satan_n by_o degree_n to_o draw_v i_o from_o my_o duty_n and_o that_o it_o be_v attend_v with_o this_o evil_a consequence_n even_o to_o slight_v the_o scripture_n and_o command_n of_o god_n and_o to_o expose_v the_o soul_n to_o satan_n deceive_n to_o walk_v by_o the_o imagination_n of_o their_o own_o heart_n instead_o of_o the_o motion_n of_o the_o spirit_n and_o also_o it_o bring_v the_o soul_n into_o great_a uncertainty_n which_o the_o truth_n never_o do_v but_o on_o the_o other_o hand_n to_o do_v duty_n in_o obedience_n to_o the_o authority_n and_o command_n of_o god_n in_o scripture_n and_o to_o pray_v at_o all_o time_n as_o we_o have_v opportunity_n have_v receive_v a_o principle_n of_o grace_n by_o which_o we_o be_v make_v capable_a of_o prayer_n i_o see_v this_o be_v a_o clear_a and_o sound_a truth_n not_o be_v attend_v with_o any_o evil_a consequence_n nor_o bring_v the_o soul_n into_o strait_n and_o uncertainty_n but_o rather_o give_v enlargement_n in_o every_o condition_n and_o therefore_o i_o desire_v likewise_o to_o keep_v close_o to_o these_o and_o leave_v the_o other_o but_o oh_o the_o joy_n and_o comfort_n that_o be_v in_o my_o soul_n at_o this_o return_n i_o can_v express_v it_o but_o this_o i_o say_v it_o be_v to_o i_o as_o life_n from_o the_o dead_a and_o as_o i_o be_v blessing_n praise_v and_o magnifi_n the_o lord_n for_o his_o unchangeable_a goodness_n to_o i_o my_o husband_n have_v be_v some_o time_n from_o i_o come_v home_o to_o who_o i_o do_v declare_v my_o