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soul_n believe_v faith_n know_v 4,869 5 4.2588 3 false
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A87791 The Presbyterian lash. Or, Noctroff's maid whipt. A tragy-comedy. As it was lately acted in the great roome at the Pye Tavern at Algate. By Noctroffe the priest, and severall his parishoners at the eating of a chine of beefe. The first part. Kirkman, Francis, 1632-ca. 1680. 1661 (1661) Wing K635; Thomason E1085_12; ESTC R28968 17,251 32

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her I dont know what d' ee call it Hem t is a very hard word hem oh consolation consolation I hope he means more mony by it Enter Carp Carp Gamar Trounce Gamer Trounce she offers to go out Gam Trounce Whos 's that calls oh Offers to go out again Carp Why Gamer Trounce come heither I say Gamer Tro. Well now must I deny all Oh Mr Carp how do you do truly I heard some body call but I could not tell where it was Carp Well what do you intend to do about your daughters business when shall we take her oath before a justice Gamer Tro. Her oath pray Mr. Church-Warden for what Carp For what why about Mr Nocttroffs whiping her Gamer Tro. Indeed Sir I do not know what you mean by my faith law nor I beleive my daughter neither Carp Why was not thou before me and my brother and some others Church-Wardens obout it this morning Gamer Tro. I dont know indeed Sir I can tell nothing of it fare you well to your worship Exit Carp I think in my soul the Womans mad what a devill ails she o here has been fine Juggling I finde it now Serje Your servant Mr. Carp Enter Serjeant and Yeo. Carp O how dost do friend thou didst Mr Lights business to day Serje I Sir and now I have an Action against you Carp An action against me at whose suit Serje At Mr. Noctroffe the Parsons suit Sir Carp Ha! saist thou so well here thy fees I 'le put thee in baile before night Serje I Sir I dare trust you farewell Sir Carp Godbye So now we shall have fine work indeed the truth on 't is I spoke as much against the Parson as Light did against me wel it s no matter I see scores wil be quit one time or other well I must be content I 'le go put in my bail but these are such envious fellows that I could in my heart wish all things were undone again Exit Scena Decima Enter Noctroffe Solus HA ha ha ha ha how could I split my lungs with laughing now To see how things strive to content me Fortune I could adore thee for a Goddess With all my heart I could turn heathen now Ist were but for an hour to Worship thee What fools are these that say thou favourest fools It is the bold Audacious fortune helps Or in plain text a knave That 's such as I Some fool perhaps now might have been amazed Befoted stupied to hear of such plots Contrivances against him would have frighted His soul to nothing and have made him yeild Himself to th' mercy of his Enemies But I was never such an asse my heatr Rich in Deciets hung round about with cuning Was made to fool but never to be fool'd How neatly have I guld my adversaries Carp's now arrested at my Suit for slander And had been so before had I before but heard what words he spake now I that thought To have sent to him to reconcile all griefs Will make him come to me and make him pay too Yet when that 's done to make the world beleive I 'me stil a pure and undefiled Saint I le out of seeming charity return Part of the money that I gain by law Unto his wife so J gain her and 't is A general Rule when once the wife is got That ten to one the Husband follows too O blessed Genius how dost thou induce me To undo them who late strove to undo me Exit Scoena undecima Enter a Lawyers Clark with Papers Here in a short Epitomy Epitomy do J call it rather a Volume of the Quarrels Dissentions Distractions Confusions betwixt a Parish-priest and his Parishioners what fool or ass or idiot or non-sensical Coxcomb must he needs be that cannot plainly perceive discern and see that the Shepherd has set his Flock together by the ears Imprimis here is one Light a light-headed fellow without doubt set on by the Parson is sued for abusing one of his parishioners named Carp and yet the Carping Coxcomb must needs call the Parson Jesuitical Priest so he is sued by him whilst the Priest laughs in his sleeve at both and my Master laughs at all for whoever is a looser he is sure to be a gainer Well t is a fine story yet methinks the Jury were but non-sensical fooles for they have fined Mr. Light too light a sum in my mind when poor Carp is forced to pay one hundred pound for speaking the truth the whole truth nothing but the truth for my young Reason can easily guess That there 's nothing that savours more of Jesuitical tenents then to set men together by the ears but J think the Devil reigns in this age these black-coats without their Gowns or Tippets look so like imps that J know not what to make of them otherwise but J think my Master calls me Well J must ene go draw up a Judgement against honest Carp for being a plain down-right dealing fellow T is a sad age methinks my masters but how to help it faith is beyond my skll to tell you Exit Scoena Quodecima Enter Carp and Denwall Carp WAs ever man so abused Neighbour as I am I protest I care not so much for the Money but that the Law should be so retorted as it is now-a-dayes That Light for defaming me and utterly taking away my credit in the World should be fined but twenty pound and that they should set me at one hundred pound only for calling that base seditious scandalous fellow as he is Well t is a hard case Den. T is so indeed Neighbour but we can't tell how to help it Now a man had as good be hang'd as meddle with these black Cloaks they have such tricks and such quiliets such strange Quonundrums to cheat a man of his money as it passes Carp A pox of their Quillets and their Quonund rum s I 'me sure I 'me like to pay for 't but what shall I do now canst advise me to be even with him Den. Why faith if you have a mind to be even with him you must even pay him the money that is adjudged him and have a care how you meddle with him any more till times mend and then if you can whip and trounce him soundly you 'l do very good service Carp But what way shall I take to send him his money Den. Why e'ne send it him and make no more word on 't that is send him fourscore pounds and consign over the twenty pounds that is adjudged you from Light that is send him fourscore pound ready told and put it to account for searching too far into the whipping of a Wench Carp A pox of him and his Wench would hee 'd clawd her buttocks to the bone so I had never medled with her I 'me sure I must pay sweetly for the cure of her breech Yet nothing more vexes me then that the damnd Whore her Mother should afterwards deny whatever both she and