for_o a_o time_n answ_n thou_o have_v better_o conclude_v that_o thou_o be_v blind_a rather_o as_o to_o the_o discovery_n of_o they_o than_o that_o they_o do_v not_o at_o all_o rise_n at_o that_o time_n but_o for_o more_o narrow_a search_n into_o this_o case_n consider_v whether_o thy_o corruption_n now_o rise_v be_v resist_v by_o thou_o more_o than_o they_o be_v before_o if_o so_o conclude_v then_o the_o mortification_n of_o they_o second_o it_o be_v not_o best_o in_o this_o case_n to_o ask_v the_o question_n too_o deep_o whether_o they_o be_v mortify_v before_o because_o the_o devil_n hereby_o will_v take_v advantage_n of_o the_o soul_n to_o vex_v it_o but_o rather_o apply_v thyself_o to_o christ_n by_o new_a act_n of_o faith_n as_o to_o the_o mortificationof_n they_o xvii_o often_o time_n soul_n be_v puzzle_v in_o their_o inquiry_n into_o the_o mortification_n of_o corruption_n and_o know_v not_o what_o to_o conclude_v of_o they_o for_o if_o they_o look_v upon_o their_o heart_n 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low_a and_o mortify_v xviii_o on_o saturday_n august_n 17_o 1650._o he_o record_v i_o be_v exceed_o trouble_v with_o rise_n of_o a_o proud_a heart_n and_o on_o sabath-day_n in_o the_o morning_n i_o find_v the_o like_a accompany_v with_o envy_v against_o the_o raisement_n of_o other_o saint_n as_o if_o i_o will_v have_v none_o high_o than_o myself_o yea_o and_o in_o the_o afternoon_n be_v exceed_v trouble_v with_o lightness_n of_o spirit_n so_o that_o i_o can_v scarce_o forbear_v laugh_v at_o church_n and_o after_o when_o i_o come_v home_o for_o one_o of_o trinity_n be_v with_o i_o i_o be_v fain_o to_o leave_v he_o in_o the_o chamber_n and_o enter_v my_o study_n lest_o i_o shall_v betray_v the_o nakedness_n of_o my_o heart_n oh_o curse_a heart_n but_o for_o this_o spiritual_a distemper_n my_o heart_n be_v sudden_o trouble_v and_o i_o have_v just_a such_o a_o sorrow_n as_o if_o i_o have_v lose_v some_o outward_a friend_n and_o i_o do_v exceed_o take_v on_o in_o mourning_n for_o my_o 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time_n as_o those_o above_o pray_v at_o the_o chapel_n if_o thou_o do_v it_o be_v a_o sign_n that_o there_o be_v a_o tincture_n of_o self-dependence_n therefore_o it_o be_v the_o best_a way_n to_o make_v a_o equal_a conscience_n of_o they_o all_o as_o for_o performance_n of_o they_o and_o look_v on_o they_o all_o with_o the_o same_o eye_n and_o say_v that_o thou_o be_v unprofitable_a in_o they_o all_o and_o that_o thou_o may_v attain_v to_o this_o temper_n after_o every_o duty_n examine_v what_o vanity_n of_o thought_n what_o formality_n in_o spirit_n thou_o have_v in_o the_o do_n of_o they_o that_o thou_o may_v see_v they_o be_v all_o nothing_o without_o christ_n xx._n what_o shall_v i_o do_v in_o a_o dull_a and_o dead_a state_n answ_n 1_o double_o the_o watch_n over_o thy_o own_o heart_n aâ—d_a affection_n it_o be_v common_a to_o see_v a_o soul_n dead_a and_o careless_a 2_o labour_v to_o strengthen_v faith_n in_o the_o promise_v of_o god_n love_n and_o willingness_n to_o receive_v soul_n the_o parable_n of_o the_o prodigal_n and_o that_o if_o a_o child_n aâ—k_v his_o father_n bread_n will_v he_o give_v he_o a_o stone_n etc._n etc._n shall_v be_v consider_v 3_o make_v this_o improvement_n of_o thy_o present_a deadness_n to_o humble_v thy_o soul_n and_o see_v thy_o own_o vileness_n that_o thou_o shall_v abuse_v such_o riches_n of_o grace_n as_o it_o may_v be_v thou_o have_v do_v and_o by_o that_o sin_n shall_v cause_v that_o deadness_n take_v heed_n of_o slight_v the_o deadness_n of_o your_o heart_n if_o you_o do_v you_o grow_v careless_a of_o god_n anger_n for_o deadness_n be_v a_o sign_n that_o god_n be_v angry_a xxi_o what_o shall_v a_o man_n do_v in_o enjoyment_n answ_n it_o be_v common_a for_o such_o soul_n present_o to_o grow_v so_o confident_a of_o themselves_o as_o to_o let_v go_v their_o watch_n and_o so_o oftentimes_o be_v betray_v by_o their_o enemy_n 1_o be_v then_o as_o earnest_n for_o the_o enjoy_n of_o more_o of_o god_n when_o thou_o be_v raise_v as_o thou_o be_v to_o enjoy_v any_o thing_n of_o god_n when_o thou_o be_v not_o let_v not_o a_o discovery_n of_o love_n stop_v thy_o breathe_n saint_n often_o sit_v down_o here_o and_o so_o fall_v back_o again_o 2_o seek_v to_o redouble_v thy_o faith_n to_o make_v it_o strong_a than_o ever_o for_o time_n will_v be_v that_o thou_o may_v have_v use_n of_o it_o 3_o labour_v to_o humble_v thyself_o under_o thy_o enjoyment_n let_v not_o the_o thought_n of_o sonship_n dry_v up_o thy_o eye_n but_o be_v sure_o the_o more_o of_o self-abhorrency_a the_o more_o evidence_n of_o thy_o sonship_n xxii_o on_o saturday_n the_o 5_o and_o sabbath-day_n the_o 6_o of_o octob._n 1650_o he_o record_v the_o lord_n humble_v i_o much_o in_o the_o sight_n of_o unworthy_a deal_n with_o god_n and_o i_o may_v say_v god_n be_v in_o i_o of_o a_o truth_n this_o grace_n be_v then_o so_o lively_a in_o i_o that_o i_o press_v it_o much_o to_o the_o company_n but_o yet_o oh_o wretched_a heart_n before_o i_o come_v out_o of_o the_o company_n that_o night_n i_o be_v take_v with_o a_o violent_a passion_n of_o pride_n and_o anger_n yet_o by_o this_o fall_n i_o may_v bless_v my_o god_n god_n humble_v i_o more_o than_o i_o be_v before_o yea_o and_o it_o cause_v i_o to_o have_v more_o contemptible_a thought_n of_o myself_o than_o ever_o whereupon_o we_o find_v this_o sell-abasing_a christian_a student_n to_o set_v down_o how_o he_o may_v get_v the_o victory_n over_o headstrong_a passion_n when_o he_o add_v humility_n of_o spirit_n be_v attainable_a by_o get_v quick_a and_o sprightful_a apprehension_n of_o self_n weakness_n to_o grace_n and_o discover_v the_o evil_a of_o a_o carnal_a heart_n which_o may_v be_v discern_v in_o spiritual_a duty_n by_o its_o sally_v often_o into_o the_o world_n and_o much_o suspect_v when_o it_o be_v ready_a to_o close_v with_o a_o promise_n of_o god_n that_o speak_v comfort_n than_o with_o a_o command_n of_o god_n which_o speak_v obedience_n oh_o pray_v against_o such_o a_o distemper_n as_o savour_n of_o self_n seek_v and_o labour_n to_o get_v holy_a principle_n such_o as_o love_v to_o god_n to_o be_v the_o spring_n of_o all_o thy_o word_n action_n and_o walking_n and_o then_o thou_o may_v take_v comfort_n in_o they_o for_o if_o any_o other_o humility_n which_o be_v carnal_a be_v find_v prevail_v in_o thou_o it_o will_v argue_v hypocrisy_n there_o be_v so_o much_o pride_n in_o man_n natural_o that_o when_o god_n begin_v to_o work_v upon_o the_o soul_n he_o find_v no_o great_a a_o enemy_n to_o it_o than_o pride_n and_o of_o nothing_o more_o do_v saint_n complain_v than_o it_o which_o make_v they_o unfit_a for_o any_o company_n any_o discourse_n and_o therefore_o
well_o why_o only_o if_o it_o be_v for_o any_o thing_n it_o be_v to_o read_v of_o the_o controversy_n of_o mr._n goodwin_n yet_o as_o it_o prove_v by_o the_o all_o dispose_n providence_n it_o be_v indeed_o for_o another_o business_n for_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o be_v in_o my_o chamber_n i_o be_v exceed_o melt_v for_o those_o former_a sin_n oh_o happy_a time_n oh_o bless_a spirit_n that_o lead_v i_o not_o with_o my_o saviour_n into_o the_o wilderness_n to_o be_v tempt_v but_o to_o the_o table_n of_o my_o lord_n to_o feed_v on_o his_o fat_a thing_n bless_v the_o lord_n o_o my_o soul_n and_o all_o that_o be_v within_o i_o bless_v his_o holy_a name_n on_o friday_n before_o easter_n 1651_o i_o have_v no_o small_a joy_n in_o prayer_n never_o to_o my_o remembrance_n find_v i_o such_o a_o spirit_n of_o indefatigability_n before_o o_o praise_v god_n my_o soul_n and_o high_a to_o god_n and_o elsewhere_o he_o write_v i_o have_v find_v in_o the_o various_a dispensation_n of_o god_n love_n and_o his_o deal_n with_o i_o such_o a_o temper_n as_o this_o i_o have_v go_v to_o prayer_n and_o labour_v under_o such_o indisposition_n of_o soul_n and_o hardness_n of_o my_o heart_n that_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v how_o to_o speak_v to_o god_n all_o spark_n of_o faith_n as_o to_o the_o cast_n of_o my_o soul_n upon_o god_n seem_v to_o be_v extinct_a all_o breathe_n after_o god_n and_o christ_n seem_v to_o be_v dead_a sin_n seem_v as_o nothing_o i_o seek_v to_o lay_v they_o to_o my_o charge_n yea_o and_o according_a to_o their_o aggravation_n i_o labour_v to_o set_v hell_n as_o to_o its_o torment_n before_o i_o that_o by_o they_o i_o may_v be_v startle_v my_o heart_n be_v so_o hard_o sin_n and_o its_o aggravation_n do_v as_o it_o be_v rebound_v back_o and_o conviction_n will_v not_o stick_v methinks_v hell_n and_o its_o torment_n in_o this_o case_n no_o more_o fright_v i_o than_o a_o sword_n at_o a_o blind_a man_n throat_n will_v startle_v he_o i_o seek_v indeed_o that_o my_o heart_n may_v be_v soften_v yet_o then_o but_o in_o word_n desire_n come_v not_o kind_o from_o my_o heart_n and_o in_o such_o a_o case_n i_o leave_v pray_v this_o be_v night_n the_o next_o morning_n i_o go_v to_o duty_n again_o with_o a_o perhaps_o god_n will_v be_v gracious_a but_o find_v my_o soul_n hard_o as_o before_o and_o have_v pray_v a_o while_n and_o find_v no_o comfort_n in_o it_o i_o be_v think_v to_o break_v off_o and_o so_o i_o shall_v have_v not_o god_n prevent_v i_o by_o put_v such_o a_o argument_n into_o my_o mouth_n as_o this_o lord_n can_v thou_o that_o have_v say_v thou_o be_v a_o father_n of_o such_o tender_a bowel_n suffer_v thy_o poor_a child_n thy_o poor_a creature_n to_o plead_v thus_o with_o thou_o for_o a_o break_a heart_n and_o thou_o with_o hold_v it_o so_o stiff_o from_o he_o upon_o this_o my_o heart_n be_v exceed_o full_a and_o break_a dissolve_v even_o into_o tear_n oh_o you_o saint_n remember_v that_o god_n working_n be_v arbitrary_a xxv_o as_o he_o record_v the_o fail_n and_o comfort_n he_o have_v before_o in_o and_o after_o prayer_n so_o we_o have_v he_o note_v it_o be_v a_o good_a mean_n to_o keep_v a_o man_n soul_n up_o in_o a_o constant_a frame_n if_o he_o every_o day_n call_v his_o soul_n to_o a_o question_n how_o he_o have_v walk_v with_o god_n that_o whole_a day_n and_o those_o sin_n he_o find_v he_o have_v fall_v into_o that_o day_n let_v he_o resolve_v to_o watch_v against_o more_o strict_o the_o next_o day_n and_o beg_v strength_n against_o they_o and_o by_o do_v of_o this_o he_o shall_v quick_o find_v a_o growth_n in_o grace_n and_o victory_n over_o his_o corruption_n he_o add_v when_o thou_o be_v ever_o plead_v with_o god_n against_o sin_n remember_v that_o they_o be_v god_n enemy_n as_o well_o as_o thou_o tell_v god_n he_o hate_v sin_n and_o wickedness_n and_o these_o be_v the_o enemy_n that_o thou_o be_v conflict_v with_o and_o assure_v thyself_o god_n will_v not_o stand_v as_o a_o neuter_n but_o will_v take_v thy_o soul_n part_n as_o david_n in_o the_o five_o psalm_n and_o again_o consider_v that_o thy_o soul_n be_v as_o a_o commonwealth_n christ_n the_o king_n thy_o corruption_n the_o enemy_n now_o you_o know_v that_o the_o king_n be_v as_o much_o or_o rather_o shall_v be_v more_o engage_v against_o the_o enemy_n of_o his_o kingdom_n than_o the_o subject_n be_v because_o the_o destruction_n of_o they_o or_o their_o victory_n strike_v more_o upon_o his_o honour_n xxvi_o it_o be_v a_o hard_a thing_n to_o believe_v that_o a_o man_n prayer_n be_v hear_v except_o he_o find_v some_o warming_n in_o his_o spirit_n in_o prayer_n either_o in_o solid_a joy_n or_o a_o hearty_a mourning_n here_o these_o case_n come_v to_o be_v resolve_v viz._n see_v the_o child_n of_o god_n be_v often_o draw_v out_o in_o prayer_n at_o by_o time_n a_o poor_a soul_n begin_v to_o reflect_v upon_o his_o own_o experience_n and_o find_v no_o such_o matter_n perform_v by_o himself_o be_v apt_a to_o be_v discourage_v and_o to_o doubt_v whether_o god_n ever_o love_v he_o first_o thou_o must_v know_v though_o such_o dispensation_n be_v ordinary_a yet_o not_o necessary_a the_o spirit_n can_v work_v without_o they_o as_o doubtless_o he_o do_v in_o many_o second_o perhaps_o it_o have_v not_o be_v christ_n want_n of_o love_n to_o thou_o but_o thy_o negligence_n towards_o he_o he_o have_v knock_v and_o thou_o have_v not_o open_v oh_o this_o be_v a_o repulse_n to_o the_o king_n of_o glory_n a_o sad_a deal_n with_o thy_o jesus_n with_o a_o christ_n that_o be_v all_o a-sweat_n for_o thou_o and_o have_v his_o side_n run_v out_o water_n and_o blood_n for_o thou_o to_o let_v he_o stand_v and_o knock_v without_o and_o give_v he_o no_o lodging_n object_n yea_o but_o the_o soul_n may_v say_v i_o have_v often_o watch_v my_o heart_n and_o mark_v the_o breathe_n of_o my_o soul_n whither_o they_o tend_v godward_o or_o no_o but_o alas_o i_o be_v hard_a and_o blind_a a_o sottish_a creature_n ans_fw-fr first_o let_v such_o a_o consideration_n as_o this_o serve_v to_o humble_v thou_o but_o not_o to_o deject_v thou_o know_v that_o there_o be_v a_o time_n when_o god_n will_v not_o be_v find_v and_o that_o be_v upon_o thy_o slight_n of_o his_o former_a tender_n oh_o when_o ever_o thou_o find_v thyself_o in_o such_o a_o case_n foremention_v go_v and_o bewail_v before_o god_n thy_o hard_a and_o rough_a deal_n with_o he_o second_o consider_v that_o upon_o such_o a_o reflection_n on_o thyself_o and_o find_v thy_o heart_n dead_a and_o listless_a to_o prayer_n it_o be_v very_o probable_a that_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n call_v thou_o out_o at_o that_o time_n to_o prayer_n against_o thy_o hardness_n thy_o listlesness_n and_o blindness_n as_o to_o the_o discovery_n of_o thyself_o and_o god_n love_v towards_o thou_o oh_o take_v heed_n of_o slight_v such_o a_o tender_a as_o this_o perhaps_o thou_o may_v never_o have_v more_o of_o such_o tender_n as_o these_o be_v and_o that_o thou_o may_v wrestle_v a_o blessing_n out_o of_o god_n hand_n urge_v god_n with_o his_o own_o promise_n in_o the_o 54th_o chapter_n of_o isaiah_n it_o be_v a_o most_o spiritual_a and_o raise_v chapter_n here_o it_o may_v be_v query_v how_o to_o know_v that_o god_n hide_v himself_o out_o of_o love_n to_o i_o this_o to_o i_o be_v a_o strong_a evidence_n that_o god_n hide_v himself_o out_o of_o love_n to_o i_o after_o some_o miscarriage_n of_o soul_n 1_o when_o god_n by_o my_o fall_n into_o a_o sin_n make_v i_o more_o cautious_a of_o that_o sin_n for_o the_o future_a 2_o god_n by_o that_o sin_n discover_v my_o base_a heart_n to_o i_o 3_o when_o god_n draw_v out_o my_o soul_n to_o beg_v earnest_o for_o strength_n of_o he_o against_o it_o but_o a_o man_n after_o he_o have_v fall_v into_o some_o sin_n may_v take_v up_o resolution_n against_o it_o and_o yet_o fall_v into_o it_o again_o it_o be_v true_a there_o be_v scarce_o a_o saint_n but_o have_v experience_v this_o very_a thing_n and_o the_o reason_n of_o it_o be_v not_o dark_a 1_n on_o god_n part_n he_o will_v make_v his_o saint_n to_o know_v that_o resolution_n nor_o prayer_n nor_o any_o duty_n else_o can_v conquer_v sin_n he_o will_v have_v they_o acknowledge_v when_o corruption_n be_v subdue_v it_o come_v from_o god_n that_o so_o they_o may_v put_v the_o crown_n of_o mortification_n upon_o his_o head_n 2_o on_o our_o part_n let_v we_o examine_v ourselves_o whether_o we_o do_v resolve_v in_o the_o strength_n of_o christ_n if_o not_o it_o be_v no_o wonder_n if_o we_o fall_v if_o we_o say_v we_o do_v let_v we_o examine_v our_o soul_n whether_o we_o do_v apply_v ourselves_o to_o god_n
in_o the_o blood_n of_o jesus_n for_o the_o pardon_v of_o that_o sin_n and_o strength_n against_o it_o if_o not_o we_o may_v very_o well_o suspect_v that_o we_o do_v not_o resolve_v in_o the_o strength_n of_o christ_n xxvii_o say_v a_o poor_a saint_n i_o have_v go_v to_o prayer_n many_o a_o time_n and_o have_v be_v exceed_o low_a and_o have_v pray_v with_o much_o carelessness_n just_a as_o if_o i_o be_v talk_v or_o tell_v a_o tale_n what_o shall_v i_o do_v in_o such_o a_o case_n answ_n first_o that_o neither_o raisedness_n nor_o flatness_n in_o prayer_n be_v the_o reason_n why_o god_n hear_v thou_o and_o therefore_o consider_v that_o in_o prayer_n thou_o be_v to_o approach_v a_o god-mediating_a a_o god-man_n and_o not_o a_o mere_a creature_n but_o thus_o thou_o do_v if_o thou_o think_v god_n will_v not_o hear_v thou_o except_o god_n raise_v thou_o thou_o make_v raisedness_n the_o ground_n of_o thy_o acceptance_n which_o be_v but_o a_o mere_a create_v be_v as_o all_o other_o grace_n be_v oh_o take_v heed_n then_o of_o depend_v upon_o ashur_n say_v ashur_n shall_v not_o help_v i_o but_o on_o the_o lord_n will_v i_o depend_v second_o consider_v this_o for_o thy_o corafort_n that_o though_o thy_o heart_n be_v straighten_a here_o on_o earth_n towards_o god_n and_o in_o mourn_v as_o to_o thy_o own_o vileness_n yet_o christ_n bowel_n be_v not_o in_o heaven_n straighten_a towards_o thou_o he_o be_v not_o so_o capable_a of_o mutability_n as_o thy_o condition_n though_o thou_o lose_v thy_o first_o love_n yet_o he_o be_v the_o same_o yesterday_o to_o day_n and_o for_o ever_o three_o consider_v that_o it_o be_v christ_n intercession_n and_o plead_v with_o his_o father_n for_o thy_o prayer_n and_o not_o thy_o raisedness_n that_o be_v the_o ground_n of_o the_o return_n of_o thy_o prayer_n the_o consideration_n of_o god_n former_a deal_n and_o dispensation_n of_o love_n be_v a_o good_a argument_n to_o move_v god_n in_o prayer_n when_o a_o soul_n be_v at_o a_o loss_n for_o love_n now_o or_o for_o strength_n or_o when_o god_n seem_v to_o hide_v himself_o as_o to_o the_o answer_v of_o thy_o request_n to_o say_v lord_n why_o be_v thou_o so_o strange_a to_o i_o now_o time_n be_v that_o thou_o bear_v i_o as_o a_o lamb_n in_o thy_o bosom_n and_o carry_v i_o into_o thy_o banquet_a house_n and_o feed_v i_o with_o love_n time_n be_v that_o thou_o enravished'_v my_o soul_n with_o a_o glance_n of_o thy_o eye_n what_o be_v become_v of_o thy_o former_a love_n have_v thou_o shut_v up_o thy_o tender_a mercy_n in_o wrath_n see_v the_o psalmist_n thus_o plead_v in_o psal_n 77._o xxviii_o i_o have_v be_v in_o such_o a_o temper_n that_o i_o have_v find_v my_o heart_n in_o prayer_n even_o contradict_v my_o tongue_n if_o for_o mortify_v of_o pride_n in_o part_n in_o learning_n my_o heart_n have_v be_v ready_a to_o say_v to_o its_o self_n that_o there_o can_v be_v no_o joy_n except_v in_o exaltation_n of_o self_n as_o good_a to_o have_v no_o learning_n as_o not_o to_o delight_v in_o it_o and_o applaud_v self_n by_o it_o true_o this_o have_v be_v the_o language_n of_o my_o heart_n but_o i_o bless_v my_o god_n that_o he_o have_v give_v i_o a_o joy_n and_o that_o above_o all_o that_o joy_n which_o creature_n can_v possible_o afford_v it_o be_v my_o non-experience_n of_o god_n love_n to_o i_o it_o be_v for_o want_v of_o spiritual_a enravishment_n that_o my_o heart_n become_v so_o vain_a in_o its_o imagination_n oh_o that_o i_o can_v magnify_v my_o god_n for_o this_o his_o love_n and_o goodness_n again_o i_o have_v be_v sometime_o so_o carnal_a that_o i_o have_v even_o think_v that_o there_o can_v be_v no_o feaven_n more_o sweet_a pleasant_a and_o desirable_a than_o that_o which_o may_v be_v make_v up_o of_o create_a being_n as_o to_o enjoy_v pleasure_n and_o never_o to_o be_v tire_v with_o they_o to_o please_v my_o taste_n in_o feed_v and_o never_o be_v weary_a of_o feed_v to_o hear_v the_o most_o sweet_a and_o melodious_a music_n and_o never_o weary_a of_o hear_v to_o delight_v my_o eye_n in_o see_v and_o never_o be_v weary_a of_o see_v thus_o have_v i_o delight_v my_o soul_n with_o foolish_a imagination_n as_o they_o soon_o appear_v to_o be_v when_o god_n pluck_v off_o these_o earthly_a and_o sensual_a scale_n from_o my_o eye_n he_o show_v i_o more_o true_a joy_n in_o a_o smile_n of_o his_o reconcile_a countenance_n than_o in_o a_o paradise_n make_v up_o of_o all_o the_o sweet_a flower_n which_o may_v grow_v in_o nature_n garden_n can_v possible_o afford_v i_o magnify_v the_o lord_n oh_o my_o soul_n and_o all_o that_o be_v within_o i_o praise_v his_o holy_a name_n for_o he_o have_v be_v better_o to_o i_o than_o ten_o thousand_o world_n i_o will_v rejoice_v in_o thou_o so_o long_o as_o i_o have_v a_o be_v oh_o my_o soul_n praise_n the_o lord_n xxix_o at_o sometime_o it_o be_v hard_o for_o a_o man_n after_o the_o commit_n of_o some_o sin_n to_o believe_v that_o sin_n be_v pardon_v and_o withal_o to_o mourn_v for_o it_o and_o it_o be_v ground_v on_o this_o think_v the_o soul_n what_o shall_v i_o mourn_v for_o that_o which_o be_v not_o answ_n fear_v and_o sorrow_n for_o sin_n may_v well_o be_v consistent_a with_o close_v with_o a_o promise_n by_o faith_n for_o the_o take_v away_o of_o guilt_n observe_v therefore_o that_o the_o freeness_n of_o grace_n and_o the_o fullness_n of_o a_o promise_n ought_v no_o way_n to_o take_v off_o a_o saint_n watchfulness_n over_o sin_n and_o the_o mourning_n for_o sin_n further_o consider_v although_o god_n pardon_v the_o sin_n yet_o he_o cease_v not_o to_o hate_v sin_n therefore_o mourn_v for_o sin_n because_o it_o offend_v he_o again_o it_o be_v difficult_a for_o a_o man_n to_o think_v that_o he_o have_v act_v faith_n upon_o god_n for_o pardon_n of_o a_o sin_n when_o he_o have_v not_o in_o prayer_n against_o that_o sin_n feel_v himself_o raise_v or_o his_o heart_n melt_v as_o for_o example_n after_o thou_o have_v sin_v whether_o in_o let_v thy_o heart_n rove_v upon_o worldly_a business_n when_o thou_o have_v be_v in_o duty_n at_o church_n etc._n etc._n and_o apprehend_v it_o to_o arise_v from_o a_o carnal_a soul_n come_v home_n thou_o go_v to_o god_n by_o prayer_n to_o beg_v a_o pardon_n of_o that_o sin_n and_o for_o spiritual_a strength_n to_o subdue_v it_o and_o observe_v in_o that_o prayer_n that_o thy_o heart_n be_v not_o raise_v either_o in_o love_n to_o god_n or_o breathe_n after_o the_o discovery_n of_o love_n or_o else_o that_o thy_o heart_n be_v not_o melt_v for_o that_o sin_n in_o such_o a_o case_n it_o be_v hard_o for_o thou_o to_o conclude_v with_o thyself_o that_o thou_o have_v act_v faith_n upon_o jesus_n christ_n for_o the_o pardon_n of_o that_o sin_n for_o answer_v i_o confess_v it_o be_v a_o difficult_a case_n but_o yet_o the_o soul_n may_v be_v exceed_o deceive_v in_o it_o therefore_o it_o be_v good_a for_o such_o a_o soul_n to_o mark_v this_o that_o notwithstanding_o his_o present_a indisposition_n or_o blindness_n as_o to_o the_o discovery_n of_o pardon_n yet_o in_o a_o secret_a manner_n he_o may_v have_v pardon_n give_v in_o and_o hereby_o you_o shall_v know_v it_o that_o if_o god_n do_v afterward_o a_o week_n or_o a_o month_n or_o more_o deaden_a and_o crucify_v that_o corruption_n for_o thou_o thou_o may_v conclude_v thou_o do_v act_v faith_n in_o that_o application_n of_o thy_o soul_n to_o god_n the_o reason_n be_v clear_a because_o act_n of_o faith_n do_v always_o accompany_v true_a faith_n the_o instance_n of_o this_o be_v plain_a in_o hannah_n she_o go_v to_o god_n to_o beg_v a_o son_n 1_o sam._n 1.7_o 10._o and_o when_o she_o have_v do_v she_o know_v not_o whether_o or_o no_o god_n will_v answer_v as_o appear_v from_o vers_fw-la 11_o 12._o but_o in_o the_o latter_a end_n of_o ver_fw-la 9_o we_o read_v that_o the_o lord_n remember_v hannah_n and_o another_o example_n of_o this_o we_o have_v in_o cornelius_n act._n 10.2_o it_o be_v say_v he_o be_v a_o devout_a man_n and_o one_o that_o fear_v god_n and_o pray_v to_o god_n always_o and_o yet_o we_o read_v not_o that_o cornelius_n know_v that_o his_o prayer_n be_v accept_v until_o the_o angel_n come_v and_o say_v to_o he_o vers_n 4._o thy_o prayer_n and_o thy_o alm_n be_v come_v up_o for_o a_o memorial_n before_o god_n hence_o the_o inference_n be_v clear_a that_o god_n may_v hear_v a_o soul_n and_o see_v he_o act_v faith_n for_o a_o mercy_n when_o as_o perhaps_o the_o soul_n that_o pray_v can_v never_o judge_n of_o it_o himself_o but_o it_o may_v be_v object_v it_o be_v true_a god_n may_v hear_v a_o soul_n and_o the_o soul_n not_o discover_v it_o but_o as_o for_o act_v of_o
faith_n neither_o of_o these_o place_n mention_v i_o answer_v that_o we_o have_v no_o reason_n in_o the_o world_n to_o say_v that_o god_n will_v hear_v any_o prayer_n so_o as_o to_o answer_v it_o except_o it_o have_v be_v put_v up_o in_o faith_n and_o the_o reason_n be_v clear_a which_o be_v this_o because_o we_o can_v receive_v no_o mercy_n but_o through_o christ_n and_o can_v have_v no_o interest_n in_o christ_n except_o we_o believe_v and_o so_o can_v receive_v nothing_o from_o god_n but_o through_o faith_n mediate_a therefore_o because_o they_o do_v receive_v a_o mercy_n to_o wit_n the_o return_n of_o prayer_n from_o god_n we_o must_v conclude_v that_o they_o do_v believe_v xxx_o i_o have_v oftentimes_o be_v exceed_o raise_v in_o spirit_n and_o on_o a_o sudden_a cast_v down_o again_o in_o a_o instant_n as_o i_o may_v so_o say_v and_o have_v be_v as_o far_o to_o seek_v for_o comfort_n as_o ever_o now_o upon_o enquiry_n into_o the_o cause_n of_o this_o i_o have_v find_v they_o to_o be_v of_o this_o kind_n first_o god_n do_v let_v i_o fall_v because_o i_o look_v too_o much_o upon_o my_o inraisement_n as_o to_o the_o establish_n of_o my_o soul_n whereas_o i_o shall_v have_v live_v above_o they_o and_o shall_v have_v cast_v my_o soul_n immediate_o upon_o christ_n second_o god_n may_v cast-down_a upon_o the_o questioning_n in_o the_o soul_n concern_v the_o reality_n of_o those_o inraisement_n and_o god_n may_v do_v it_o upon_o this_o account_n because_o a_o doubt_a soul_n mistrust_v the_o reality_n of_o god_n mercy_n and_o not_o know_v whether_o they_o come_v from_o god_n or_o his_o own_o natural_a strength_n the_o soul_n know_v not_o on_o who_o head_n he_o shall_v put_v the_o crown_n and_o because_o god_n will_v advance_v himself_o in_o all_o gospel-design_n he_o let_v thy_o soul_n fall_v that_o it_o may_v know_v that_o all_o its_o raisement_n be_v from_o god_n and_o here_o god_n show_v abundance_n of_o love_n to_o the_o soul_n and_o make_v it_o more_o firm_a in_o its_o joy_n the_o next_o time_n and_o for_o direction_n in_o such_o a_o case_n when_o a_o soul_n be_v at_o a_o loss_n for_o the_o discovery_n of_o god_n it_o will_v be_v its_o best_a way_n to_o wait_v patient_o upon_o god_n and_o in_o a_o humble_a acknowledgement_n of_o his_o own_o unworthiness_n that_o he_o deserve_v ever_o to_o be_v low_a and_o if_o at_o any_o time_n he_o be_v raise_v it_o be_v from_o god_n free_a grace_n and_o if_o thou_o have_v find_v god_n in_o former_a time_n come_v into_o thy_o soul_n after_o such_o a_o sudden_a dejection_n let_v that_o experience_n of_o god_n love_v be_v a_o stay_n to_o thy_o soul_n in_o this_o case_n and_o then_o conclude_v that_o god_n anger_n last_v but_o for_o a_o moment_n object_n ay_o but_o say_v such_o a_o soul_n i_o can_v make_v indeed_o my_o former_a experience_n of_o god_n love_v a_o ground_n of_o my_o faith_n now_o if_o i_o be_v but_o certain_a that_o they_o be_v then_o real_a but_o i_o be_o afraid_a they_o be_v but_o flash_n and_o i_o ground_n it_o upon_o this_o that_o i_o see_v my_o heart_n as_o wicked_a as_o ever_o as_o much_o pride_n as_o much_o deadness_n to_o the_o thing_n of_o god_n as_o much_o carnalness_n as_o ever_o in_o a_o word_n i_o find_v not_o through_o mortification_n in_o my_o soul_n i_o answer_v 1_o that_o thou_o be_v in_o a_o state_n of_o temptation_n and_o of_o carnal_a reason_a art_n no_o competent_a judge_n of_o thy_o mortification_n for_o it_o be_v 〈◊〉_d such_o a_o soul_n in_o this_o case_n as_o with_o a_o man_n in_o a_o passion_n while_o he_o be_v in_o such_o a_o case_n he_o can_v judge_v of_o nothing_o aright_o for_o his_o reason_n be_v cloud_v with_o his_o passion_n but_o 2_o it_o be_v most_o certain_a that_o corruption_n may_v be_v in_o the_o soul_n and_o yet_o grace_v too_o although_o as_o a_o spark_n it_o be_v cover_v with_o dead_a ember_n therefore_o i_o advise_v thou_o to_o wait_v patient_o upon_o god_n till_o the_o spark_n flame_n till_o the_o day_n star_n arise_v in_o thy_o heart_n 2_o pet._n 1.19_o and_o there_o it_o be_v very_o remarkable_a that_o the_o apostle_n compare_v grace_n to_o a_o immortal_a seed_n which_o god_n put_v in_o the_o heart_n now_o a_o seed_n you_o know_v may_v lie_v a_o long_a time_n under_o clod_n before_o it_o appear_v wait_v then_o patient_o upon_o god_n until_o the_o sun_n of_o righteousness_n arise_v in_o thy_o soul_n and_o make_v this_o seed_n to_o sprout_v up_o to_o bud_v forth_o blossom_n and_o bring_v forth_o fruit_n to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n xxxi_o object_n it_o be_v true_a indeed_o wait_v patient_o upon_o god_n i_o will_v and_o live_v in_o expectation_n of_o a_o return_n to_o my_o soul_n again_o but_o by_o reason_n of_o my_o treacherous_a deal_n with_o he_o after_o receipt_n of_o mercy_n discovery_n of_o love_n i_o have_v sin_v and_o be_o afraid_a that_o for_o this_o god_n will_v write_v bitter_a thing_n against_o i_o answ_n let_v not_o sin_n discourage_v thou_o in_o thy_o faith_n but_o be_v sure_o withal_o to_o keep_v a_o watch_n over_o thy_o heart_n and_o join_v prayer_n to_o this_o watch_n that_o thy_o sin_n may_v be_v mortify_v object_n ay_o but_o say_v the_o soul_n all_o that_o i_o have_v do_v as_o to_o the_o conquest_n of_o my_o corruption_n have_v be_v by_o prayer_n and_o this_o prayer_n too_o slight_o perform_v neither_o have_v it_o be_v accompany_v with_o diligent_a endeavour_n for_o alas_o i_o can_v remember_v such_o a_o temper_n that_o i_o have_v go_v it_o may_v be_v ten_o time_n or_o more_o to_o prayer_n at_o morning_n and_o evening_n against_o some_o one_o sin_n and_o yet_o after_o every_o one_o of_o those_o prayer_n i_o have_v rush_v into_o that_o particular_a sin_n can_v god_n be_v gracious_a to_o i_o ans_fw-fr it_o be_v true_a thou_o have_v a_o most_o wicked_a heart_n but_o i_o will_v that_o thou_o will_v but_o make_v use_n of_o a_o parable_n which_o our_o saviour_n put_v forth_o what_o king_n say_v he_o will_v go_v to_o war_n before_o he_o have_v sit_v down_o to_o consider_v what_o the_o war_n will_v cost_v he_o and_o shall_v we_o think_v that_o the_o alwise_a god_n who_o foresee_v all_o the_o thought_n of_o man_n heart_n all_o his_o pride_n etc._n etc._n know_v full_a well_o what_o a_o heart_n he_o have_v to_o deal_v with_o before_o he_o send_v christ_n into_o the_o world_n to_o die_v for_o sinner_n can_v be_v put_v by_o his_o work_n sure_o if_o it_o can_v but_o have_v keep_v god_n from_o show_v and_o discover_v himself_o to_o the_o soul_n he_o have_v never_o prosecute_v that_o gospel-design_n and_o now_o he_o be_v resolve_v to_o carry_v the_o soul_n through_o all_o opposition_n neither_o pride_n nor_o carnalness_n shall_v hinder_v he_o in_o it_o we_o be_v therefore_o say_v to_o be_v keep_v by_o the_o power_n of_o god_n unto_o salvation_n true_o this_o very_a thing_n speak_v abundance_n of_o comfort_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o establish_v i_o exceed_o when_o i_o be_v once_o pore_v on_o my_o manifold_a corruption_n xxxii_o god_n in_o his_o deal_n with_o his_o saint_n sometime_o leave_v they_o to_o carnal_a reason_n whereby_o they_o do_v in_o some_o sort_n reason_n themselves_o out_o of_o grace_n and_o in_o this_o case_n satan_n be_v very_o busy_a and_o if_o such_o a_o soul_n shall_v say_v unto_o i_o what_o shall_v i_o do_v in_o such_o a_o case_n ans_fw-fr first_o beware_v of_o enter_v the_o list_n with_o satan_n if_o you_o do_v it_o be_v a_o thousand_o to_o one_o but_o you_o be_v foil_v or_o at_o least_o cast_v into_o abundance_n of_o trouble_n and_o disquietment_n of_o soul_n as_o i_o have_v know_v one_o to_o wit_n o._n who_o have_v for_o that_o time_n be_v unfit_a either_o for_o the_o service_n of_o god_n or_o man_n he_o can_v not_o follow_v his_o private_a call_n for_o it_o indeed_o it_o be_v exceed_o dangerous_a for_o if_o you_o give_v way_n to_o one_o carnal_a reason_v you_o shall_v present_o have_v it_o back_v with_o a_o hundred_o more_o as_o for_o instance_n in_o call_v into_o question_n the_o reality_n of_o thy_o grace_n thou_o may_v have_v most_o hard_a and_o strange_a thought_n of_o god_n second_o pray_v to_o christ_n that_o he_o will_v answer_v thy_o objection_n for_o thou_o and_o true_o this_o be_v the_o ready_a way_n to_o get_v rid_v of_o they_o in_o get_v christ_n to_o rebuke_v they_o and_o let_v every_o awaken_v saint_n that_o be_v not_o trouble_v with_o such_o reason_n know_v that_o it_o be_v because_o christ_n do_v answer_v they_o to_o the_o devil_n and_o establish_v the_o soul_n in_o his_o answer_n or_o else_o he_o may_v assure_v himself_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o have_v be_v free_v from_o they_o o_o saint_n admire_v the_o love_n of_o christ_n to_o
you_o in_o this_o case_n and_o mark_v his_o deal_n with_o you_o herein_o that_o you_o may_v admire_v he_o when_o a_o man_n begin_v first_o to_o set_v his_o face_n zion-ward_n yea_o and_o afterward_o when_o he_o have_v make_v some_o progress_n in_o those_o way_n the_o devil_n do_v exceed_o labour_v with_o such_o a_o soul_n to_o afflight_v â—im_a from_o the_o way_n of_o holiness_n in_o suggest_v that_o his_o former_a company_n will_v despise_v he_o and_o in_o these_o new_a way_n there_o must_v be_v more_o strictness_n of_o life_n more_o tentation_n and_o trouble_n of_o spirit_n which_o kind_n of_o argument_n will_v be_v apt_a to_o stagger_v such_o a_o soul_n very_o much_o because_o as_o yet_o they_o be_v but_o weak_a and_o have_v not_o such_o powerful_a principle_n infuse_v into_o they_o as_o may_v make_v they_o strong_a enough_o to_o find_v the_o yoke_n of_o christ_n easy_a therefore_o it_o will_v be_v the_o best_a way_n for_o such_o a_o soul_n to_o resolve_v still_o to_o go_v on_o 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the_o account_n of_o prayer_n do_v you_o beg_v they_o of_o the_o lord_n upon_o your_o knee_n so_o that_o you_o may_v say_v all_o your_o mercy_n be_v the_o child_n of_o your_o prayer_n the_o birth_n of_o your_o entreaty_n your_o health_n your_o meat_n and_o drink_n be_v wrestle_v for_o at_o a_o throne_n of_o grace_n after_o this_o manner_n do_v hannah_n procure_v her_o son_n samuel_n as_o we_o may_v read_v 1_n sam._n chap._n 1._o reflect_v now_o upon_o yourself_o and_o see_v whether_o your_o outward_a mercy_n come_v this_o way_n if_o they_o do_v o_o how_o sweet_a and_o comfortable_a will_v they_o be_v to_o you_o you_o shall_v never_o look_v considerate_o upon_o they_o but_o your_o heart_n shall_v be_v warm_v with_o the_o love_n of_o god_n here_o you_o may_v say_v be_v a_o mercy_n and_o there_o be_v a_o blessing_n which_o i_o pull_v out_o of_o the_o bosom_n of_o divine_a love_n as_o it_o be_v with_o my_o own_o hand_n this_o child_n and_o that_o child_n this_o crumb_n of_o bread_n and_o that_o drop_v of_o drink_n be_v all_o pledge_n of_o god_n love_n to_o i_o these_o be_v divine_a influence_n and_o spark_n of_o the_o flame_n of_o god_n lovingkindness_n what_o adamantine_a heart_n will_v not_o such_o discovery_n melt_v into_o love_n towards_o god_n what_o soul_n will_v not_o such_o chain_n of_o gold_n enravish_a which_o be_v both_o make_v and_o put_v about_o its_o neck_n with_o the_o lovely_a finger_n of_o christ_n hand_n what_o soul_n will_v not_o such_o a_o cordial_a comfort_n which_o be_v compound_v of_o love_n and_o goodness_n my_o heart_n be_v enravish_v within_o i_o while_o i_o think_v of_o this_o love_n and_o every_o thought_n that_o i_o have_v of_o it_o bespeak_v admiration_n this_o be_v that_o which_o angel_n admire_v and_o in_o which_o glorify_a saint_n be_v immerse_v these_o be_v the_o crystal_n stream_n which_o run_v before_o the_o throne_n of_o the_o lamb_n every_o drop_n of_o which_o present_v a_o jewel_n of_o inestimable_a price_n it_o be_v a_o thing_n rather_o to_o be_v admire_v than_o talk_v of_o here_o i_o can_v be_v content_a to_o dwell_v to_o eternity_n but_o i_o be_o call_v off_o to_o the_o second_o mark_n to_o discover_v this_o love_n in_o outward_a mercy_n and_o that_o be_v this_o ask_v your_o soul_n this_o question_n whether_o it_o have_v be_v draw_v out_o in_o praise_n for_o that_o which_o you_o have_v receive_v of_o god_n can_v you_o say_v that_o you_o love_v god_n the_o more_o for_o they_o and_o do_v they_o engage_v you_o to_o serve_v god_n more_o if_o they_o do_v you_o may_v assure_v yourself_o that_o god_n love_n be_v in_o every_o mercy_n you_o receive_v three_o can_v you_o see_v they_o give_v to_o you_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o christ_n can_v you_o say_v that_o god_n love_v you_o in_o christ_n therefore_o god_n give_v you_o this_o and_o that_o mercy_n this_o be_v one_o of_o the_o high_a attainment_n of_o a_o saint_n on_o this_o side_n glory_n this_o speak_v fullness_n of_o comfort_n o_o how_o sweet_a be_v it_o to_o see_v a_o reconcile_a father_n hold_v forth_o his_o hand_n full_a of_o mercy_n to_o hear_v he_o come_v and_o say_v child_n take_v this_o mercy_n and_o that_o mercy_n and_o when_o ever_o thou_o look_v upon_o they_o remember_v that_o i_o love_v thou_o o_o how_o pleasant_a be_v such_o a_o voice_n this_o can_v but_o work_v up_o the_o soul_n to_o love_n god_n and_o to_o breathe_v after_o god_n more_o than_o ever_o it_o be_v hard_o to_o distinguish_v betwixt_o a_o holy_a wait_a upon_o god_n for_o the_o answer_n of_o our_o prayer_n and_o a_o kind_n of_o security_n which_o be_v apt_a to_o seize_v upon_o man_n soul_n after_o prayer_n now_o for_o answer_n consider_v this_o that_o wait_v do_v not_o impair_a breathe_n of_o
sentence_n thou_o can_v not_o send_v i_o into_o worse_a than_o flame_n or_o punish_v i_o long_o than_o everlasting_o christ_n answer_v oh_o how_o my_o bowel_n turn_v this_o sinner_n know_v not_o what_o be_v in_o my_o heart_n he_o think_v i_o be_o his_o enemy_n sinner_n shake_v off_o thy_o fear_n and_o wipe_v thy_o eye_n thou_o shall_v not_o die_v the_o sinner_n speak_v again_o oh_o thou_o glorious_a god_n or_o angel_n or_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o call_v thou_o do_v not_o delude_v or_o deride_v a_o poor_a caitiff_a wretch_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o misery_n why_o will_v thou_o raise_v i_o to_o such_o a_o pinnacle_n of_o hope_n to_o cast_v i_o down_o and_o make_v my_o fall_n the_o great_a my_o judge_n have_v pass_v the_o sentence_n i_o must_v die_v and_o who_o can_v reverse_v the_o doom_n ah_o i_o must_v go_v see_v my_o prison-door_n wide_o open_a the_o smoke_n and_o flash_n come_v to_o meet_v my_o despair_a soul_n half_a way_n christ_n speak_v and_o now_o my_o heart_n begin_v to_o break_v my_o love_n can_v keep_v no_o long_o in_o how_o causeless_o do_v this_o wretch_n torment_v his_o heart_n he_o know_v not_o who_o i_o be_o i_o must_v reveal_v myself_o sinner_n i_o love_v thou_o i_o say_v thou_o shall_v not_o die_v come_v feel_v my_o heart_n and_o pulse_n how_o they_o beat_v and_o tell_v how_o strong_a my_o love_n within_o do_v act_v they_o do_v thou_o not_o see_v i_o have_v leave_v my_o throne_n and_o be_o come_v down_o to_o the_o bar_n where_o thou_o stand_v condemn_v but_o why_o do_v thou_o weep_v come_v let_v i_o wipe_v thy_o eye_n and_o bound_v up_o thy_o bleed_a and_o despair_a heart_n i_o tell_v thou_o thou_o shall_v not_o die_v if_o heaven_n will_v have_v blood_n it_o shall_v have_v i_o so_o it_o will_v but_o spare_v thou_o sinner_n if_o thou_o know_v who_o i_o be_o thou_o will_v not_o doubt_v one_o tittle_n i_o tell_v thou_o i_o be_o his_o son_n his_o only_a son_n that_o but_o now_o condemn_v thou_o i_o know_v he_o be_v just_a and_o justice_n must_v be_v satisfy_v but_o do_v not_o thou_o fear_v if_o one_o of_o we_o must_v die_v it_o shall_v be_v i_o i_o will_v pour_v out_o my_o blood_n a_o sacrifice_n for_o sin_n and_o appease_v his_o wrath_n and_o make_v you_o friend_n again_o you_o innumerable_a company_n of_o angel_n yet_o servant_n at_o my_o father_n will_n why_o do_v you_o rejoice_v to_o see_v my_o prisoner_n send_v to_o hell_n this_o curse_a soul_n over_o who_o in_o glory_n you_o do_v now_o triumph_v i_o do_v resolve_v to_o die_v for_o and_o to_o buy_v she_o to_o myself_o a_o spouse_n and_o to_o make_v her_o bless_a with_o yourselves_o and_o give_v she_o a_o princess_n place_n on_o a_o throne_n that_o be_v by_o myself_o sinner_n speak_v be_v this_o a_o dream_n or_o be_o i_o wake_v the_o goodness_n greatness_n glory_n of_o this_o sudden_a unexpected_a bless_a change_n tempt_v i_o to_o doubt_v whether_o it_o be_v true_a or_o whether_o it_o be_v some_o unruly_a fancy_n that_o do_v delude_v this_o wretched_a heart_n of_o i_o what!_o for_o the_o son_n of_o god_n to_o debase_v himself_o so_o low_o as_o to_o take_v my_o nature_n and_o so_o my_o cause_n and_o become_v the_o prisoner_n what!_o and_o though_o he_o know_v he_o shall_v be_v cast_v will_v he_o hear_v the_o sentence_n and_o quiet_o bear_v bolt_n and_o shackle_n and_o chain_n which_o shall_v have_v fetter_v i_o yet_o more_o than_o this_o do_v he_o know_v it_o be_v impossible_a to_o get_v a_o reprieve_n from_o his_o father_n and_o judge_n and_o that_o he_o must_v most_o assure_o drink_v the_o bitter_a dregs_o of_o death_n more_o bitter_a than_o devil_n or_o damn_a soul_n in_o hell_n as_o yet_o ever_o taste_v of_o for_o it_o be_v impossible_a the_o cup_n shall_v pass_v and_o can_v he_o will_v he_o dare_v he_o venture_v but_o stay_v i_o must_v be_v a_o spouse_n to_o be_v exalt_v from_o this_o dunghill_n to_o be_v a_o princess_n to_o the_o son_n and_o heir_n of_o glory_n hold_v hold_v here_o be_v enough_o it_o be_v a_o dream_n a_o idle_a fancy_n of_o a_o 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the_o ease_n of_o every_o joint_n and_o limb_n about_o i_o witness_v the_o same_o a_o way_n my_o unbelieving_a heart_n what_o a_o stir_n be_v here_o to_o make_v thou_o believe_v a_o thing_n so_o evident_a doubt_v my_o mind_n and_o free_o doubt_v â—_z give_v thou_o leave_v when_o thou_o have_v any_o occasion_n or_o reason_n for_o it_o but_o why_o shall_v i_o doubt_v that_o which_o be_v past_o all_o doubt_n may_v i_o not_o believe_v my_o sense_n i_o both_o see_v and_o hear_v he_o speak_v the_o word_n or_o shall_v i_o misdoubt_v his_o faithfulness_n i_o know_v he_o be_v the_o son_n of_o god_n he_o can_v lie_v but_o be_v it_o true_a yet_o my_o god_n i_o pray_v thou_o be_v not_o angry_a with_o my_o scrupulous_a heart_n thou_o see_v in_o tear_n i_o make_v the_o doubt_n let_v it_o be_v a_o argument_n to_o i_o of_o sincerity_n i_o do_v not_o ask_v that_o question_n as_o one_o that_o will_v be_v fain_o persuade_v its_o true_a can_v thou_o think_v my_o lord_n that_o i_o will_v not_o be_v reconcile_v and_o cheerful_o accept_v of_o grace_n when_o thou_o so_o free_o offere_v it_o oh_o but_o lord_n speak_v these_o word_n to_o my_o heart_n which_o thou_o have_v already_o speak_v to_o my_o ear_n and_o thou_o will_v melt_v it_o into_o love_n and_o thankfulness_n and_o i_o shall_v never_o doubt_v it_o more_o object_n but_o yet_o but_o what_o can_v heaven_n love_v so_o much_o answ_n thou_o silly_a worm_n how_o idle_o do_v thou_o question_v must_v heaven_n and_o so_o its_o love_n be_v bind_v up_o to_o so_o narrow_a and_o contract_a thought_n as_o thou_o be_v what_o can_v god_n love_v no_o more_o than_o thou_o can_v love_n be_v a_o perfection_n and_o god_n be_v infinite_o perfect_a so_o must_v be_v infinite_o and_o incomprehensive_o love_v thou_o fool_n go_v find_v the_o sea_n and_o tell_v i_o its_o great_a depth_n give_v i_o the_o height_n of_o yonder_o star_n this_o possible_o thou_o may_v do_v for_o the_o sea_n be_v not_o so_o deep_a but_o they_o have_v a_o bottom_n nor_o the_o star_n so_o high_a but_o they_o may_v by_o art_n be_v know_v but_o oh_o the_o height_n and_o depth_n and_o breadth_n and_o length_n of_o the_o love_n of_o our_o redeemer_n he_o be_v god_n and_o his_o breast_n be_v so_o full_a of_o love_n that_o they_o flow_v and_o overflow_v with_o love_n they_o have_v no_o bottom_n do_v but_o try_v my_o soul_n cast_v thyself_o into_o this_o bottomless_a lovely_a ocean_n into_o this_o endless_a bosom_n and_o when_o thou_o have_v be_v sink_v million_o of_o million_o of_o year_n tell_v i_o whither_o
thou_o friend_n how_o come_v thou_o hither_o not_o have_v on_o thy_o wedding-garment_n he_o see_v thy_o heart_n and_o see_v thou_o have_v it_o on_o oh_o he_o come_v and_o it_o be_v but_o to_o whisper_v thou_o a_o welcome_n in_o thy_o ear_n it_o be_v but_o to_o fall_v about_o thy_o neck_n and_o kiss_v thy_o beteared_a cheek_n and_o bid_v thou_o a_o kind_a welcome_n to_o thy_o bleed_a lord_n soul_n oh_o do_v i_o think_v to_o be_v thus_o much_o make_v of_o i_o think_v he_o will_v not_o have_v mind_v i_o but_o i_o do_v no_o soon_o appear_v and_o set_v my_o foot_n within_o the_o door_n but_o he_o run_v to_o meet_v i_o he_o take_v i_o in_o his_o arm_n he_o bring_v i_o hither_o and_o set_v i_o here_o be_v this_o a_o house_n or_o be_v it_o a_o palace_n be_v this_o a_o court_n for_o prince_n or_o for_o angel_n never_o do_v place_n more_o ravish_v i_o into_o amazement_n than_o this_o place_n beautiful_a be_v thy_o gate_n o_o zion_n o_o how_o pleasant_a be_v the_o habitation_n of_o the_o most_o high_a be_v it_o the_o place_n or_o the_o company_n that_o strike_v i_o into_o astonishment_n now_o i_o can_v say_v most_o feel_o say_v with_o david_n my_o delight_n be_v with_o the_o saint_n of_o the_o most_o high_a and_o the_o most_o excellent_a of_o the_o earth_n their_o poverty_n their_o disgrace_n their_o contempt_n among_o who_o they_o live_v do_v not_o puzzle_v my_o quick-eyed_a faith_n these_o be_v the_o king_n daughter_n that_o be_v all_o glorious_a within_o their_o garment_n be_v of_o needlework_n embroider_v over_o with_o pure_a gold_n finespun_a gold_n these_o o_o these_o how_o poor_a and_o mean_a soever_o they_o be_v or_o may_v seem_v to_o be_v these_o shall_v sit_v with_o christ_n to_o judge_n the_o world_n oh_o how_o my_o foul_a be_v ravish_v with_o delight_n to_o see_v and_o look_v on_o those_o with_o who_o i_o shall_v live_v for_o ever_o if_o they_o be_v so_o lovely_a now_o what_o will_v they_o be_v hereafter_o when_o our_o god_n shall_v take_v they_o and_o scour_v 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thou_o own_o heart_n can_v wish_v take_v eat_v this_o morsel_n it_o cost_v my_o life_n it_o be_v a_o portion_n thy_o father_n send_v unto_o thou_o by_o i_o and_o bid_v i_o remember_v thou_o of_o his_o love_n to_o thou_o he_o bid_v thou_o remember_v a_o father_n love_n i_o a_o saviour_n he_o have_v a_o heart_n to_o give_v thou_o and_o so_o have_v i._o take_v this_o in_o earnest_n of_o they_o both_o in_o one_o take_v free_o if_o thou_o be_v not_o welcome_a i_o will_v have_v tell_v thou_o i_o will_v have_v ask_v thou_o for_o thy_o wedding-garment_n know_v i_o not_o thy_o heart_n or_o if_o i_o be_v uncertain_a of_o thy_o love_n i_o will_v have_v scorn_v thou_o as_o unworthy_a of_o my_o presence_n do_v i_o know_v thou_o love_v any_o thing_n above_o i_o i_o will_v have_v hide_v my_o face_n and_o never_o have_v speak_v thou_o a_o welcome_a so_o feel_o and_o kind_o to_o thy_o soul_n tell_v i_o o_o tell_v i_o do_v thou_o not_o love_v i_o i_o know_v thou_o do_v and_o above_o father_n or_o mother_n wife_n or_o child_n land_n or_o live_v or_o credit_n i_o know_v thou_o do_v and_o will_v thou_o not_o take_v the_o cross_n and_o follow_v i_o i_o know_v thou_o will_v i_o see_v and_o know_v the_o labour_n of_o thy_o love_n i_o remember_v the_o pain_n and_o travel_n of_o thy_o soul_n i_o see_v thou_o follow_v i_o on_o thy_o knee_n in_o tear_n and_o beg_v my_o life_n rather_o than_o thy_o life_n i_o know_v thy_o heart_n i_o see_v it_o bleed_v before_o my_o throne_n i_o take_v it_o in_o my_o arm_n and_o bind_v it_o up_o and_o in_o that_o breast_n i_o remember_v i_o put_v it_o up_o again_o i_o see_v thou_o when_o no_o eye_n see_v thou_o i_o hear_v thou_o and_o have_v compassion_n on_o thy_o groan_n whilst_o thou_o be_v complain_v that_o i_o have_v shut_v out_o thy_o prayer_n i_o well_o remember_v since_o thy_o heart_n do_v first_o fall_v sick_a with_o love_n since_o the_o time_n thy_o flesh_n begin_v to_o die_v and_o since_o thou_o lay_v thyself_o in_o the_o grave_n down_o by_o i_o and_o be_v willing_a to_o die_v to_o all_o this_o vain_a empty_a glory_n of_o the_o world_n because_o i_o die_v and_o leave_v it_o i_o know_v thou_o well_o enough_o thou_o be_v i_o and_o i_o be_o thou_o take_v it_o i_o charge_v thou_o eat_v it_o as_o thou_o love_v i_o and_o whilst_o thou_o feed_v remember_v the_o love_n of_o thy_o dear_a redeemer_n soul_n oh_o it_o be_v the_o sweet_a meat_n that_o ever_o tongue_n do_v taste_v it_o send_v a_o relish_n to_o my_o very_a heart_n i_o find_v it_o digest_v as_o it_o deseend_n i_o feel_v my_o nerve_n and_o sinew_n strengthen_v i_o never_o know_v that_o bread_n be_v the_o staff_n of_o life_n till_o now_o oh_o how_o fit_a be_v my_o soul_n now_o for_o christ_n how_o easy_a do_v i_o now_o find_v his_o yoke_n how_o light_a his_o burden_n methinks_v i_o can_v watch_v or_o pray_v or_o read_v more_o earnest_o resolve_o believe_o than_o ever_o oh_o methinks_v i_o can_v take_v his_o cross_n and_o bear_v it_o strong_o and_o take_v the_o shame_n and_o despise_v it_o full_o oh_o it_o be_v a_o feast_n of_o fat_a thing_n the_o rich_a banquet_n of_o love_n that_o ever_o i_o be_v at_o it_o be_v but_o a_o little_a that_o i_o take_v and_o it_o fill_v i_o full_a my_o hungry_a stomach_n now_o cry_v it_o be_v enough_o i_o find_v it_o now_o verify_v to_o my_o soul_n and_o spirit_n that_o he_o that_o eat_v of_o this_o bread_n shall_v never_o hunger_n more_o well_o i_o need_v not_o starve_v when_o there_o be_v such_o bread_n in_o my_o father_n house_n i_o need_v not_o i_o will_v not_o i_o can_v feed_v any_o long_o on_o husk_n with_o the_o swine_n of_o the_o world_n i_o feed_v on_o air_n and_o smoke_n before_o i_o never_o taste_v substantial_a bread_n till_o i_o taste_v of_o this_o this_o be_v the_o staff_n of_o my_o life_n and_o upon_o this_o will_v i_o support_v myself_o to_o my_o very_a grave_n the_o wine_n christ_n come_v my_o dear_a i_o have_v drink_v and_o thou_o shall_v pledge_v i_o i_o have_v broach_v my_o side_n and_o draw_v it_o on_o purpose_n for_o thou_o this_o be_v a_o wine_n of_o my_o own_o make_n when_o i_o tread_v the_o winepress_n of_o my_o father_n wrath_n it_o be_v my_o blood_n but_o take_v and_o drink_v it_o it_o be_v the_o cause_n of_o my_o wound_n but_o to_o thy_o soul_n it_o shall_v prove_v heal_v i_o die_v and_o bleed_v it_o be_v but_o to_o make_v this_o banquet_n for_o thou_o i_o have_v bring_v thou_o into_o my_o wine-cellar_n and_o my_o banner_n over_o thou_o shall_v be_v love_n fear_v not_o take_v and_o drink_v thou_o have_v a_o ulcer_n in_o thy_o heart_n and_o this_o shall_v cure_v it_o spot_n and_o stain_n of_o guilt_n on_o thy_o soul_n and_o this_o shall_v purge_v they_o away_o thy_o spirit_n be_v faint_a this_o shall_v revive_v thou_o thou_o be_v afraid_a to_o see_v thy_o father_n face_n this_o shall_v make_v thou_o to_o draw_v near_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n with_o boldness_n drink_v i_o charge_v thou_o drink_v on_o thy_o love_n and_o loyalty_n to_o i_o i_o command_v thou_o as_o thou_o will_v have_v thy_o heart_n to_o mend_v thy_o wound_n to_o cure_v thy_o spirit_n to_o revive_v thy_o fear_n to_o scatter_v thy_o soul_n to_o love_n and_o obey_v i_o take_v o_o take_v this_o cup_n into_o thy_o hand_n taste_v it_o and_o praise_v my_o love_n soul_n lord_n i_o have_v take_v i_o have_v drink_v as_o thou_o have_v bid_v i_o i_o neither_o can_v or_o dare_v deny_v thou_o can_v i_o refuse_v thy_o blood_n when_o i_o have_v accept_v thyself_o or_o can_v i_o accept_v my_o pardon_n at_o thy_o hand_n and_o
daily_a conversant_a in_o philosophical_a exercise_n but_o do_v frequent_o meet_v to_o promote_v the_o great_a business_n of_o real_a godliness_n and_o growth_n in_o grace_n and_o to_o make_v experiment_n on_o their_o own_o heart_n of_o that_o religion_n they_o shall_v be_v call_v to_o impart_v to_o other_o and_o it_o seem_v he_o begin_v betimes_o to_o impart_v what_o he_o have_v receive_v of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n for_o not_o long_o after_o he_o have_v be_v of_o the_o college_n he_o observe_v a_o young_a scholar_n of_o good_a part_n and_o a_o good_a humour_n but_o have_v nothing_o of_o real_a godliness_n who_o he_o will_v often_o seek_v and_o single_a out_o and_o talk_v with_o to_o draw_v he_o off_o from_o vanity_n and_o to_o engage_v he_o to_o mind_v the_o concern_v of_o his_o precious_a soul_n and_o as_o it_o please_v god_n in_o some_o short_a time_n that_o same_o scholar_n fall_v sick_a unto_o death_n and_o upon_o his_o deathbed_n send_v for_o this_o young_a mr._n wadsworth_n as_o his_o spiritual_a father_n to_o who_o he_o declare_v he_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o what_o he_o have_v former_o speak_v to_o he_o in_o his_o health_n give_v he_o hearty_a thanks_o for_o the_o love_n he_o have_v show_v to_o his_o soul_n and_o bewail_v his_o own_o folly_n in_o his_o former_o decline_v such_o a_o one_o company_n and_o importune_v his_o earnest_a prayer_n to_o god_n with_o he_o and_o for_o he_o whereupon_o this_o early_a spiritual_a father_n deal_v free_o and_o most_o compassionate_o with_o he_o in_o far_a instruct_n and_o then_o comfort_v of_o that_o spiritual_a penitent_n who_o give_v good_a evidence_n that_o he_o have_v a_o true_a work_n of_o grace_n wrought_v upon_o his_o heart_n be_v a_o new_a creature_n and_o die_v very_o comfortable_o to_o the_o great_a rejoice_n of_o the_o instrument_n v._o who_o we_o find_v in_o a_o piece_n of_o his_o own_o journal_n or_o notebook_n aug._n 8._o 1650._o on_o a_o day_n of_o thanksgiving_n to_o god_n for_o his_o mercy_n in_o 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love_n as_o then_o when_o i_o be_v exceed_v melt_v with_o a_o sense_n of_o love_n and_o with_o the_o remembrance_n of_o god_n deal_n with_o i_o further_o vii_o if_o any_o will_v have_v i_o distinguish_v betwixt_o carnal_a love_n and_o spiritual_a let_v they_o first_o consider_v that_o spiritual_a love_n be_v carry_v out_o only_o to_o a_o saint_n as_o the_o image_n of_o god_n appear_v in_o he_o now_o carnal_a love_n to_o a_o saint_n appear_v when_o it_o be_v upon_o account_n of_o a_o sweet_a disposition_n humility_n meekness_n and_o loveliness_n of_o body_n usual_o accompany_v with_o a_o propensity_n to_o laughter_n and_o lightness_n of_o spirit_n but_o spiritual_a love_n be_v accompany_v with_o abundance_n of_o seriousness_n of_o spirit_n and_o composedness_n of_o mind_n as_o i_o find_v at_o that_o time_n carnal_a love_n and_o carnal_a joy_n in_o saint_n be_v a_o great_a rock_n against_o which_o they_o be_v very_o apt_a to_o run_v you_o shall_v have_v saint_n sometime_o so_o ecstasy_v with_o joy_n that_o they_o know_v not_o why_o nor_o for_o what_o and_o it_o be_v common_o in_o melt_n of_o soul_n it_o be_v true_a there_o may_v be_v the_o spirit_n there_o work_v as_o he_o be_v often_o and_o likewise_o there_o be_v the_o flesh_n mix_v with_o it_o therefore_o it_o be_v good_a to_o consider_v that_o rapture_n of_o st._n paul_n carry_v into_o the_o three_o heaven_n where_o be_v thing_n unutterable_a there_o be_v joy_n with_o a_o high_a discovery_n of_o god_n but_o thou_o be_v joyful_a and_o may_v be_v see_v nothing_o whence_o may_v be_v this_o inference_n viii_o that_o the_o more_o discovery_n of_o god_n and_o thy_o own_o nothingness_n take_v they_o together_o the_o joy_n come_v in_o upon_o such_o discovery_n be_v the_o more_o spiritual_a but_o the_o less_o the_o discovery_n of_o those_o thing_n the_o more_o carnality_n in_o that_o joy_n it_o be_v true_a it_o be_v the_o common_a complain_v of_o saint_n oh_o i_o want_v comfort_n joy_n discovery_n of_o love_n and_o these_o they_o daily_o pray_v for_o but_o because_o they_o have_v they_o not_o so_o give_v in_o as_o they_o use_v to_o be_v they_o wonder_v alas_o they_o little_o conceive_v that_o there_o be_v some_o lust_n some_o corruption_n that_o they_o cherish_v in_o their_o bosom_n which_o supply_v the_o room_n of_o grace_n and_o comfort_n and_o therefore_o note_n god_n do_v or_o will_v do_v thou_o a_o great_a kindness_n to_o subdue_v thy_o corruption_n than_o in_o give_v thou_o in_o the_o comfort_n thou_o pray_v for_o ix_o as_o to_o carnal_a love_n mark_v whether_o thy_o love_n to_o other_o saint_n come_v from_o discovery_n of_o grace_n in_o they_o or_o from_o the_o sweetness_n of_o their_o disposition_n for_o the_o carriage_n and_o sweetness_n of_o their_o natural_a temper_n be_v excellent_a and_o be_v sure_a the_o more_o love_n do_v arise_v from_o the_o sweetness_n of_o their_o natural_a disposition_n the_o more_o that_o love_n be_v carnal_a because_o such_o be_v common_a to_o any_o carnal_a man_n and_o as_o to_o the_o effect_n that_o love_n which_o arise_v from_o their_o carriage_n do_v decay_n and_o flag_n upon_o more_o familiarity_n with_o they_o but_o spiritual_a love_n decay_v not_o yea_o it_o increase_v by_o more_o acquaintance_n and_o again_o spiritual_a love_n to_o saint_n be_v accompany_v with_o a_o composedness_n and_o serenity_n of_o soul_n and_o do_v not_o so_o much_o express_v itself_o in_o other_o outward_a joy_n as_o in_o merriness_n of_o the_o countenance_n the_o same_o may_v be_v say_v of_o that_o spiritual_a love_n in_o soul_n to_o god_n it_o be_v not_o so_o much_o carry_v out_o in_o joy_n which_o be_v external_a but_o in_o the_o inward_a man_n and_o the_o more_o thy_o love_n be_v spiritual_a and_o thy_o joy_n spiritual_a as_o to_o god_n the_o more_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o a_o discovery_n of_o self-emptiness_n and_o self-vileness_n and_o this_o kind_n of_o love_n be_v masculine_a and_o far_o more_o durable_a than_o that_o love_n which_o arise_v from_o the_o apprehension_n of_o god_n love_n and_o a_o less_o of_o self-vileness_n these_o be_v truth_n much_o discover_v to_o i_o aug._n 12._o 1650._o x._o on_o the_o 14_o say_v he_o i_o can_v but_o remember_v that_o be_v draw_v out_o then_o as_o two_o or_o three_o day_n before_o for_o a_o discovery_n of_o the_o majesty_n of_o god_n to_o keep_v i_o from_o sin_n i_o have_v such_o a_o strong_a persuasion_n set_v home_o upon_o my_o soul_n that_o if_o god_n shall_v have_v answer_v my_o prayer_n in_o such_o a_o measure_n as_o i_o beg_v i_o shall_v not_o have_v endure_v his_o presence_n for_o that_o glimpse_n i_o have_v then_o though_o it_o be_v but_o confuse_v and_o veil_v it_o put_v i_o into_o a_o kind_n of_o fear_n and_o i_o can_v then_o say_v if_o
god_n have_v not_o mix_v a_o discovery_n of_o love_n with_o majesty_n i_o can_v not_o have_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v the_o sight_n of_o his_o glory_n therefore_o it_o be_v the_o best_a way_n for_o a_o soul_n in_o this_o case_n to_o beg_v earnest_o for_o a_o discovery_n of_o love_n and_o majesty_n leave_v it_o to_o the_o wise_a god_n who_o know_v how_o to_o compound_v these_o together_o for_o the_o comfort_n and_o establishment_n of_o his_o saint_n to_o measure_v out_o the_o degree_n of_o they_o oh_o i_o can_v i_o can_v but_o admire_v the_o greatness_n and_o goodness_n of_o god_n and_o the_o poorness_n and_o meanness_n of_o the_o creature_n and_o i_o can_v set_v my_o seal_n to_o that_o truth_n that_o they_o know_v not_o what_o to_o ask_v aright_o xi_o that_o afternoon_n go_v to_o a_o friend_n with_o who_o we_o meet_v some_o other_o who_o discourse_v of_o the_o aspersion_n which_o carnal_a man_n cast_v upon_o our_o meeting_n call_v we_o blockhead_n sot_n despiser_n of_o learning_n my_o heart_n do_v fly_v out_o into_o vanity_n in_o laugh_v at_o such_o thing_n which_o shall_v rather_o have_v draw_v out_o my_o soul_n to_o mourning_n and_o sigh_v to_o consider_v how_o my_o god_n who_o i_o profess_v so_o much_o love_n to_o shall_v be_v dishonour_v by_o wicked_a man_n after_o which_o be_v come_v home_o i_o be_v dead_a in_o prayer_n which_o i_o look_v upon_o as_o a_o check_n to_o the_o lightness_n of_o my_o spirit_n yet_o before_o i_o go_v to_o bed_n god_n do_v as_o eminent_o raise_v i_o and_o draw_v i_o out_o in_o melt_n for_o that_o forementioned_a vanity_n that_o i_o can_v not_o but_o say_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n help_v i_o with_o sigh_n and_o groan_v unutterable_a for_o my_o heart_n be_v so_o full_a that_o i_o can_v not_o utter_v it_o in_o word_n i_o be_v very_o much_o humble_v and_o true_o i_o may_v say_v to_o his_o honour_n god_n do_v lift_v up_o my_o soul_n in_o a_o great_a measure_n above_o my_o humiliation_n so_o that_o i_o look_v upon_o it_o as_o nothing_o but_o as_o give_v in_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o christ_n oh_o my_o soul_n praise_v the_o lord_n xii_o it_o be_v very_o natural_a for_o young_a convert_v to_o think_v they_o be_v never_o better_o than_o when_o doubt_v and_o call_v their_o state_n in_o question_n ah_o poor_a soul_n let_v i_o ask_v you_o what_o do_v you_o get_v by_o these_o vexatious_a question_n if_o they_o come_v with_o power_n they_o terrify_v and_o then_o those_o that_o have_v they_o desire_v hearty_o they_o may_v be_v off_o again_o instance_n o._n again_o what_o assurance_n of_o god_n love_n and_o comfort_n to_o your_o soul_n do_v you_o get_v by_o they_o if_o thou_o say_v thereby_o thou_o shake_v off_o security_n let_v i_o tell_v thou_o that_o in_o shun_v that_o rock_n thou_o fall_v upon_o one_o as_o bad_a for_o in_o cherish_v of_o such_o doubt_n thou_o cherish_v unbelief_n and_o i_o dare_v say_v there_o be_v no_o sin_n do_v more_o vail_n that_o mystery_n of_o justification_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n reconcile_n the_o world_n unto_o himself_o than_o unbelief_n we_o be_v to_o live_v upon_o christ_n above_o all_o fear_n and_o be_v not_o to_o cherish_v a_o doubt_n any_o more_o than_o a_o temptation_n xiii_o object_n but_o you_o will_v say_v what_o use_n shall_v we_o then_o make_v of_o the_o examination_n of_o our_o heart_n answ_n this_o shall_v be_v the_o use_n by_o it_o learn_v thy_o own_o misery_n that_o by_o the_o sight_n of_o it_o thou_o may_v the_o more_o exalt_v freegrace_n for_o this_o be_v the_o great_a mystery_n of_o the_o gospel_n to_o exalt_v the_o love_n and_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o order_n to_o which_o man_n self_n must_v be_v abase_v now_o by_o this_o abasement_n be_v not_o mean_v a_o sorrowful_a trouble_a and_o vexatious_a temper_n but_o such_o a_o one_o as_o be_v join_v with_o humility_n and_o for_o tear_n sob_n and_o sigh_n they_o be_v but_o accidental_a or_o rather_o a_o consequent_a of_o this_o humiliation_n and_o self-abasement_n and_o not_o essential_a wherefore_o you_o shall_v observe_v that_o your_o high_a christian_n they_o can_v live_v cheery_o and_o yet_o enjoy_v abundant_o more_o of_o god_n than_o a_o doubt_a christian_n be_v careful_a therefore_o of_o be_v too_o solicitous_a for_o trouble_n of_o spirit_n fourteen_o there_o be_v another_o miscarriage_n in_o saint_n which_o keep_v they_o from_o a_o full_a close_n with_o christ_n and_o that_o be_v the_o multitude_n of_o their_o sin_n if_o think_v they_o my_o sin_n bid_v be_v but_o petty_a sin_n i_o can_v have_v go_v to_o christ_n but_o they_o be_v aggravate_v sin_n against_o love_n i_o have_v have_v hard_a thought_n of_o god_n blasphemous_a rise_n of_o heart_n against_o god_n such_o have_v o._n who_o after_o this_o manner_n reason_v i_o answer_v that_o thou_o look_v upon_o god_n pardon_v of_o sin_n with_o too_o carnal_a a_o eye_n and_o think_v that_o in_o this_o he_o be_v like_a to_o man_n that_o because_o it_o be_v hard_o to_o man_n who_o be_v unwilling_a to_o put_v up_o the_o three_o offence_n as_o he_o have_v do_v the_o first_o and_o second_o therefore_o it_o be_v so_o to_o god_n alas_o this_o be_v a_o most_o gross_a mistake_n wherefore_o know_v as_o there_o be_v no_o degree_n of_o hatred_n in_o god_n who_o be_v infinite_a so_o god_n be_v as_o full_o angry_a at_o one_o sin_n as_o at_o ten_o thousand_o and_o may_v as_o soon_o punish_v a_o man_n for_o one_o as_o for_o a_o million_o because_o he_o who_o be_v absolute_o perfect_a admit_v no_o degree_n of_o love_n or_o hatred_n therefore_o when_o thou_o look_v upon_o thyself_o as_o offend_v love_n as_o sin_v against_o mercy_n eye_n god_n as_o make_v the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n in_o christ_n immediate_o and_o to_o thou_o in_o christ_n and_o from_o that_o aspect_n thou_o may_v draw_v this_o inference_n that_o though_o i_o change_v yet_o god_n can_v change_v for_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n stand_v firm_a still_o for_o he_o with_o who_o god_n make_v it_o take_v in_o that_o which_o some_o call_v the_o covenant_n of_o redemption_n stand_v as_o firm_o as_o himself_o and_o so_o unmovable_a whereupon_o my_o state_n be_v firm_a by_o virtue_n of_o that_o covenant_n now_o this_o consideration_n be_v very_o rational_a for_o if_o god_n make_v his_o covenant_n immediate_o with_o we_o every_o time_n we_o shall_v sin_v god_n must_v renew_v his_o covenant_n for_o we_o shall_v lack_v still_o a_o new_a mediator_n but_o say_v god_n i_o have_v make_v a_o everlasting_a covenant_n with_o you_o which_o be_v upon_o the_o consideration_n of_o a_o ever-standing_a christ_n xv._o if_o you_o will_v know_v whether_o there_o be_v security_n mix_v with_o your_o faith_n and_o your_o dependence_n upon_o god_n as_o for_o the_o welfare_n of_o your_o soul_n it_o will_v be_v a_o good_a way_n to_o put_v this_o question_n to_o the_o soul_n whether_o it_o can_v trust_v god_n with_o its_o body_n in_o case_n of_o exigency_n suppose_v thou_o do_v want_v outward_a sustinence_n suppose_v god_n shall_v call_v thou_o out_o to_o lay_v thy_o body_n at_o the_o stake_n for_o he_o for_o this_o be_v very_o common_a to_o saint_n they_o can_v find_v in_o themselves_o that_o they_o do_v full_o resign_v up_o their_o soul_n to_o god_n yet_o in_o the_o proposal_n of_o such_o case_n they_o will_v find_v their_o faith_n begin_v to_o stagger_v wherefore_o if_o thou_o find_v thyself_o in_o this_o case_n to_o doubt_v trust_v god_n and_o assure_v thyself_o that_o he_o who_o have_v draw_v out_o thy_o soul_n in_o dependence_n as_o for_o the_o one_o will_v also_o do_v it_o for_o the_o other_o see_v as_o to_o this_o case_n psal_n 78._o and_o compare_v the_o condition_n of_o the_o israelite_n to_o thou_o and_o see_v whether_o thou_o can_v have_v believe_v god_n in_o those_o thing_n which_o they_o do_v not_o xvi_o sometime_o saint_n be_v still_o and_o quiet_a as_o to_o the_o rise_n of_o corruption_n as_o passion_n viz._n anger_n etc._n etc._n and_o think_v it_o be_v mortify_v because_o it_o be_v still_o upon_o apply_v of_o the_o soul_n to_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n yet_o if_o so_o be_v that_o particular_a corruption_n do_v afterward_o rise_v again_o they_o be_v apt_a to_o conclude_v that_o sin_n be_v not_o mortify_v answ_n yet_o first_o we_o may_v conclude_v that_o mortification_n and_o the_o rise_n of_o corruption_n be_v not_o whole_o inconsistent_a but_o may_v be_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n in_o different_a degree_n for_o this_o be_v certain_a that_o corruption_n can_v be_v total_o subdue_v in_o this_o life_n if_o thou_o say_v why_o may_v they_o not_o be_v total_o mortify_v as_o to_o the_o rise_n of_o they_o as_o well_o as_o for_o a_o time_n for_o i_o remember_v they_o be_v still_o as_o to_o the_o rise_n of_o they_o
in_o several_a particular_n 1._o sorrow_n be_v the_o proper_a consequent_a of_o sin_n christian_n therefore_o so_o far_o as_o free_v from_o sin_n be_v necessary_o in_o a_o state_n of_o freedom_n from_o sinful_a sorrow_n slavish_a fear_n etc._n etc._n that_o liberty_n 2_o cor._n 3._o latter_a end_n be_v fix_v to_o joy_n nothing_o so_o genuine_a and_o characteristical_o appendant_a to_o the_o state_n of_o a_o adopt_a child_n of_o god_n as_o joy_n because_o have_v the_o spirit_n he_o ought_v to_o rejoice_v evermore_o and_o that_o with_o joy_n unspeakable_a and_o full_a of_o glory_n 2._o i_o grant_v also_o that_o saint_n ought_v to_o joy_n in_o one_o another_o society_n with_o a_o spiritual_a delight_n consider_v the_o wiseman_n saying_n prov._n 15.16_o better_a be_v little_a with_o the_o fear_n of_o the_o lord_n than_o great_a treasure_n and_o trouble_v therewith_o the_o company_n of_o such_o shall_v be_v all_o their_o delight_n psal_n 16.3_o christ_n himself_o speak_v of_o his_o rejoice_v in_o the_o habitable_a part_n of_o his_o earth_n and_o his_o delight_n with_o the_o son_n of_o man_n prov._n 8.31_o this_o may_v be_v more_o at_o large_a evidence_v from_o scripture_n 3._o i_o must_v as_o i_o have_v have_v too_o sad_a a_o cause_n put_v in_o this_o much_o that_o as_o christian_a liberty_n in_o other_o thing_n through_o satan_n policy_n be_v abuse_v too_o too_o much_o for_o a_o occasion_n to_o the_o gratify_n of_o the_o flesh_n and_o vanity_n of_o heart_n which_o shall_v not_o be_v gal._n 5.13_o so_o in_o this_o which_o i_o account_v if_o it_o be_v bring_v to_o the_o face_n vain_a laughter_n which_o i_o shall_v describe_v in_o brief_a and_o then_o leave_v to_o spiritual_a judgement_n there_o be_v such_o a_o frame_n of_o heart_n in_o many_o precious_a saint_n as_o this_o viz._n ascertain_v sudden_a indeliberate_a and_o rash_a leap_v of_o heart_n careless_o blind_o and_o unadvised_o transport_v with_o fleshly_a apprehension_n of_o some_o sensual_a ridiculousness_n in_o somewhat_o though_o never_o so_o spiritual_a without_o the_o soul_n a_o unreasonable_a jocundness_n a_o shameful_a discovery_n of_o the_o heart_n nakedness_n and_o inconsiderable_a jovialty_n a_o carnal_a unaccountable_a tripudiation_n in_o case_n never_o so_o serious_a yea_o sometime_o when_o most_o serious_a a_o delightful_a frenzy_n a_o irregular_a itch_a of_o the_o laugh_a faculty_n alas_o i_o can_v but_o say_v i_o have_v sound_v my_o own_o heart_n sometime_o like_o a_o feather_n follow_v the_o puff_n of_o any_o ridiculous_a object_n up_o and_o down_o according_a to_o the_o less_o or_o great_a impression_n which_o any_o vain_a foolish_a matter_n make_v upon_o my_o sense_n i_o have_v occasion_n to_o cry_v out_o june_n 18._o o_o the_o filthy_a emptiness_n of_o my_o weak_a heart_n arise_v from_o those_o trouble_a steam_n within_o i_o this_o i_o can_v then_o count_v nothing_o but_o a_o fuzze_n of_o vanity_n a_o bubble_n of_o corruption_n a_o carnal_a dance_n of_o the_o careless_a son_n the_o bane_n of_o reason_n and_o poison_n of_o religion_n carnality_n therefore_o and_o vanity_n be_v the_o formal_a constitutives_n of_o this_o distemper_n vanity_n i_o say_v and_o lightness_n in_o a_o untameable_a predominancy_n the_o internal_a cause_n of_o it_o be_v the_o looseness_n and_o rottenness_n of_o such_o a_o soul_n as_o be_v void_a of_o the_o actual_a exercise_n or_o power_n of_o reason_n discretion_n and_o judgement_n but_o it_o be_v promote_v cherish_v and_o enlarge_v from_o some_o particular_a circumstance_n in_o the_o object_n ab_fw-la extra_fw-la let_v into_o the_o unsettle_a mind_n and_o indispose_a heart_n by_o the_o quick_a convoy_n of_o the_o brutish_a sense_n which_o cause_v this_o lightness_n i_o speak_v of_o or_o a_o unaccountable_a or_o overpowerful_a frame_n of_o laugh_v upon_o the_o presentation_n of_o the_o imagination_n or_o understanding_n either_o of_o a_o very_a serious_a thing_n grace_n or_o carriage_n of_o a_o person_n apprehend_v under_o the_o notion_n of_o his_o be_v usual_o familiar_a or_o light_n or_o more_o near_o i_o mean_v spiritual_o relate_v to_o the_o soul_n thus_o distemper_v have_v for_o its_o external_a rise_n or_o occasion_n ex_fw-la parte_fw-la objecti_fw-la that_o very_a thing_n ordinary_o which_o to_o a_o rectify_a and_o considerative_a mind_n shall_v rather_o be_v a_o cause_n of_o sorrow_n or_o serious_a humble_a rejoice_v namely_o sometime_o 1._o another_o expression_n of_o the_o like_a vanity_n 2._o the_o more_o precious_a serious_a or_o so_o apprehend_v saint_n his_o cast_v his_o eye_n fix_o upon_o thou_o 3._o such_o a_o familiar_a saint_n his_o relation_n either_o of_o some_o great_a sin_n or_o some_o special_a act_n of_o divine_a grace_n in_o any_o spiritual_a work_n of_o soul_n or_o his_o put_v a_o light_a soul_n on_o any_o more_o singular_o advantageous_a duty_n suppose_v prayer_n out_o of_o a_o serious_a heart_n 4._o the_o external_a efficient_a cause_n of_o this_o distemper_n be_v satan_n who_o perceive_v the_o heart_n loose_v at_o the_o bottom_n easy_o dispose_v to_o lightness_n of_o spirit_n make_v it_o more_o vain_a and_o cause_v other_o object_n to_o take_v 5._o as_o the_o cause_n of_o this_o distemper_n be_v very_o bad_a because_o corruptio_fw-la optimi_fw-la est_fw-la pessima_fw-la so_o the_o effect_n be_v and_o proportionable_o worse_a take_v it_o thus_o in_o the_o lump_n it_o be_v scandalous_a and_o a_o temptation_n to_o other_o it_o make_v one_o uncredible_a as_o to_o any_o spiritual_a thing_n do_v or_o urge_v by_o one_o in_o such_o a_o frame_n yea_o it_o render_v a_o more_o serious_a mood_n suspicious_a upon_o the_o same_o account_n it_o grieve_v true_a saint_n and_o delight_v the_o devil_n in_o respect_n of_o one_o self_n it_o cause_v according_o as_o it_o be_v more_o prevalent_a a_o general_a indisposition_n to_o all_o act_n of_o religion_n and_o sense_n of_o god_n it_o deprive_v a_o man_n of_o all_o spiritual_a communion_n either_o with_o god_n or_o his_o saint_n for_o it_o take_v away_o seriousness_n which_o be_v the_o considerate_a fixedness_n of_o the_o soul_n as_o to_o act_n of_o reliance_n on_o christ_n for_o strength_n against_o it_o and_o last_o it_o hinder_v sympathize_v with_o other_o saint_n especial_o as_o to_o mourning_n 6._o there_o be_v connex_v with_o this_o distemper_n while_o it_o be_v in_o act_n upon_o the_o soul_n 1._o pride_n self-applauding_a no_o self-abasing_a apprehension_n 2._o security_n of_o heart_n no_o sense_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v dishonour_v have_v see_v these_o particular_n open_v the_o nature_n of_o lightness_n or_o carnal_a laughter_n the_o concern_v question_n be_v xlvi_o how_o may_v i_o distinguish_v betwixt_o christian_a joy_n and_o this_o kind_n of_o laughter_n answ_n first_o spiritual_a joy_n and_o the_o expression_n thereof_o be_v it_o in_o smile_n or_o other_o gesture_n be_v still_o competent_a and_o consistent_a with_o the_o heart_n well-disposedness_a towards_o god_n and_o all_o spiritual_a thing_n because_o it_o be_v the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n gal._n 5.22_o this_o do_v as_o it_o be_v oil_n the_o chariot-wheel_n of_o the_o soul_n dispose_v it_o better_o to_o communion_n with_o god_n and_o all_o spiritual_a activity_n yea_o see_v it_o arise_v from_o some_o love_n of_o god_n and_o christ_n in_o he_o dart_v into_o the_o soul_n it_o fit_v the_o soul_n more_o for_o christ_n and_o inflame_v it_o towards_o he_o by_o this_o the_o apprehension_n of_o god_n be_v not_o extinguish_v but_o sweeten_v not_o diminish_v but_o rather_o enlarge_v whereas_o è_fw-la contra_fw-la the_o frame_n before_o mention_v dim_v the_o light_n of_o grace_n which_o by_o the_o spirit_n have_v be_v sow_o in_o the_o soul_n it_o quench_v the_o spirit_n of_o divine_a union_n and_o so_o estrange_n the_o soul_n from_o god_n it_o set_v the_o door_n open_a to_o backslide_v and_o profaneness_n of_o heart_n and_o we_o see_v it_o be_v the_o nurse_n of_o profaneness_n in_o our_o spiritual_a backslide_n get_v a_o soul_n into_o never_o so_o high_a a_o attainment_n this_o will_v cast_v he_o down_o and_o betray_v he_o so_o that_o the_o soul_n hereby_o be_v bring_v to_o a_o strange_a loss_n see_v the_o spirit_n through_o such_o vanity_n of_o mind_n be_v send_v away_o with_o grief_n and_o sadness_n i_o can_v produce_v a_o most_o remarkable_a instance_n of_o one_o a_o most_o precious_a one_o among_o we_o who_o by_o this_o mean_n and_o the_o subtlety_n of_o satan_n be_v cheat_v of_o very_a much_o spiritual_a comfort_n second_o spiritual_a joy_n and_o the_o expression_n thereof_o in_o cheerfulness_n consist_v with_o prudence_n and_o discretion_n so_o that_o a_o man_n may_v be_v spiritual_o joyous_a and_o yet_o behave_v himself_o fuitable_o to_o occasion_n person_n and_o circumstance_n but_o this_o laugh_a frame_n put_v a_o soul_n upon_o absurd_a unbeseeming_a and_o unsuitable_a carriage_n as_o laugh_v when_o one_o go_v to_o sympathize_v with_o a_o soul_n break_v for_o sin_n see_v partic._n 3d._n above_o three_o
a_o man_n have_v power_n over_o h_o imself_n in_o the_o expression_n of_o spiritual_a joy_n to_o order_v it_o well_o but_o he_o have_v no_o power_n to_o refrain_v from_o or_o regulate_v this_o laugh_n even_o then_o when_o he_o well_o know_v he_o ought_v not_o to_o laugh_v four_o spiritual_a pleasantness_n be_v acceptable_a to_o all_o that_o be_v wise_a to_o salvation_n but_o a_o civil_a discreet_a man_n will_v be_v exceed_o offend_v to_o see_v christian_n so_o unreasonable_o transport_v to_o laugh_v and_o know_v not_o wherefore_o five_o spiritual_a joy_n and_o cheerfulness_n be_v not_o only_o every_o way_n regular_a but_o wellgrounded_n too_o now_o of_o this_o same_o laughter_n above_o describe_v a_o man_n can_v give_v no_o rational_a account_n at_o all_o six_o the_o last_o inconvenience_n which_o shall_v cause_v a_o utter_a extirpation_n of_o this_o wild_a kind_n of_o laugh_v as_o that_o which_o stand_v in_o opposition_n to_o spiritual_a cheerfulness_n be_v non-edification_n the_o spirit_n of_o saint_n be_v more_o cold_a and_o flat_a and_o indispose_v by_o it_o reflection_n strike_v conscience_n for_o it_o as_o vain_a but_o true_a christian_a mirth_n joy_n and_o cheerfulness_n have_v contrary_a effect_n with_o saint_n from_o the_o premise_n for_o the_o determination_n of_o the_o case_n i_o thus_o judge_v 1._o christian_n smile_v at_o their_o first_o congress_n if_o conscience_n suggest_v not_o some_o sufficient_a ground_n or_o spiritual_a account_n thereof_o must_v needs_o be_v some_o degree_n of_o vanity_n aforesaid_a as_o proceed_v from_o the_o lightness_n of_o their_o spirit_n especial_o if_o their_o meeting_n be_v spiritual_a and_o deep_o serious_a in_o which_o case_n the_o vanity_n of_o heart_n in_o christian_n do_v oftentimes_o bubble_v up_o and_o shall_v be_v check_v 2._o one_o of_o the_o best_a way_n for_o a_o christian_n to_o discern_v both_o in_o the_o point_n of_o congress_n and_o the_o whole_a continuance_n of_o converse_n whether_o his_o smile_a or_o laughter_n be_v vain_a or_o spiritual_a consequent_o lawful_a and_o commendable_a be_v his_o have_a power_n over_o his_o heart_n therein_o so_o that_o he_o can_v restrain_v it_o if_o he_o think_v fit_a still_o keep_v spiritual_a liberty_n to_o the_o exercise_n of_o other_o spiritual_a duty_n which_o vain_a laughter_n and_o smile_a allow_v not_o xlvii_o saint_n often_o time_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o their_o spiritual_a enjoyment_n be_v apt_a to_o meet_v with_o this_o tentation_n the_o devil_n suggest_v such_o thought_n as_o these_o sure_o this_o joy_n will_v not_o last_v always_o one_o time_n or_o other_o thy_o sin_n will_v provoke_v god_n to_o leave_v thou_o utter_o for_o do_v thou_o think_v that_o he_o can_v ever_o look_v upon_o sin_n and_o not_o punish_v it_o see_v he_o be_v of_o pure_a eye_n than_o to_o behold_v iniquity_n but_o with_o detestation_n know_v that_o in_o such_o a_o case_n god_n will_v have_v thou_o to_o live_v by_o faith_n i_o mean_v as_o to_o thy_o during_o joy_n and_o of_o this_o we_o have_v a_o excellent_a type_n in_o exod._n 16.25_o god_n will_v have_v the_o israelite_n to_o gather_v manna_n only_o for_o the_o present_a day_n and_o to_o cast_v off_o all_o solicitousness_n as_o for_o the_o morrow_n and_o god_n do_v this_o and_o suffer_v such_o injection_n of_o satan_n to_o try_v thy_o faith_n as_o he_o do_v they_o which_o you_o may_v observe_v in_o all_o god_n method_n of_o grace_n towards_o they_o he_o bring_v they_o into_o the_o wilderness_n where_o they_o be_v to_o trust_v he_o for_o provision_n into_o the_o red-sea_n that_o they_o may_v trust_v he_o with_o their_o life_n and_o true_o upon_o a_o serious_a consideration_n we_o shall_v find_v his_o method_n the_o same_o in_o these_o gospel-time_n get_v therefore_o to_o live_v by_o faith_n here_o may_v be_v confute_v a_o scruple_n of_o many_o a_o poor_a soul_n be_v not_o yet_o come_v up_o to_o discover_v its_o saintship_n whether_o it_o may_v laugh_v or_o be_v merry_a see_v it_o know_v not_o but_o it_o may_v be_v in_o a_o state_n of_o damnation_n the_o devil_n by_o such_o a_o temptation_n or_o injection_n work_v much_o upon_o a_o scrupulous_a soul_n let_v such_o a_o one_o argue_v thus_o with_o himself_o there_o be_v no_o more_o reason_n for_o this_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o laugh_v be_v as_o yet_o ignorant_a of_o my_o eternal_a happiness_n than_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o study_v or_o work_v or_o follow_v my_o call_n in_o such_o a_o case_n for_o one_o help_v i_o as_o to_o my_o spiritual_a state_n as_o the_o other_o but_o again_o let_v such_o a_o one_o know_v this_o that_o he_o must_v exceed_o watch_v over_o his_o heart_n in_o such_o a_o condition_n for_o perhaps_o it_o be_v joy_n be_v too_o carnal_a and_o by_o embase_v of_o that_o joy_n he_o may_v want_v of_o spiritual_a comfort_n for_o he_o that_o regard_v the_o least_o iniquity_n in_o his_o heart_n the_o lord_n will_v not_o hear_v he_o and_o perhaps_o this_o be_v thy_o bosom-pleasure_n pray_v therefore_o that_o thy_o heart_n may_v be_v moderate_v to_o such_o pleasure_n and_o mortify_v more_o to_o the_o world_n there_o be_v a_o temper_n of_o spirit_n in_o some_o saint_n at_o sometime_o although_o very_o rare_o that_o be_v in_o a_o raise_a frame_n they_o be_v so_o full_a of_o divine_a love_n that_o every_o verse_n of_o scripture_n they_o have_v read_v have_v beget_v a_o new_a ecstasy_n of_o joy_n and_o they_o have_v be_v thus_o for_o a_o while_n together_o yea_o so_o long_o that_o they_o have_v be_v weary_a of_o rejoice_v this_o excel_a sensation_n be_v too_o strong_a many_o time_n for_o the_o body_n and_o by_o reason_n of_o the_o weakness_n of_o the_o flesh_n there_o be_v not_o a_o sufficiency_n of_o spirit_n to_o fluctuate_v about_o the_o heart_n for_o a_o long_a time_n but_o by_o degree_n they_o decay_v and_o weaken_v or_o as_o mr._n locky_a say_n god_n consolation_n be_v as_o your_o aqua_fw-la vitæ_fw-la be_v and_o the_o saint_n of_o a_o weak_a brain_n quick_o turn_v with_o the_o reception_n of_o they_o so_o that_o god_n in_o wisdom_n give_v we_o in_o comfort_n by_o measure_n lest_o our_o weak_a vessel_n shall_v break_v xlviii_o consonant_a to_o that_o christian_a cheerfulness_n for_o the_o describe_v distinguish_a and_o regulation_n of_o which_o as_o we_o have_v have_v his_o thought_n once_o and_o again_o and_o his_o friend_n be_v refresh_v with_o this_o well-regulated_n temper_n in_o their_o conversation_n with_o he_o so_o in_o his_o preparatory_a experimental_a theology_n we_o find_v he_o resolve_v and_o record_v some_o thing_n concern_v the_o raise_n of_o a_o christian_n affection_n and_o carriage_n with_o reference_n to_o the_o praise_v of_o god_n where_o he_o note_v many_o soul_n be_v trouble_v in_o the_o examination_n of_o themselves_o about_o their_o affection_n whether_o they_o be_v set_v more_o upon_o god_n or_o thing_n here_o below_o and_o be_v exceed_o apt_a to_o conclude_v against_o themselves_o upon_o which_o observation_n he_o resolve_v first_o thou_o be_v not_o to_o think_v that_o thy_o heart_n be_v to_o be_v ever_o actual_o set_v upon_o god_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o thy_o worldly_a affair_n and_o therefore_o if_o thou_o be_v in_o thy_o study_n or_o employment_n of_o any_o other_o honest_a particular_a calling_n if_o heavenly_a thought_n come_v in_o thou_o be_v not_o so_o to_o entertain_v they_o as_o immediate_o to_o leave_v off_o the_o business_n of_o thy_o particular_a call_n and_o fall_v to_o spiritual_a exercise_n therefore_o one_o compare_v the_o thought_n of_o man_n say_v some_o be_v like_a to_o a_o friend_n other_o like_v to_o stranger_n come_v to_o visit_v another_o man_n now_o the_o friend_n come_v at_o the_o door_n he_o will_v turn_v his_o friend_n into_o the_o door_n and_o make_v he_o tarry_v a_o while_n till_o he_o have_v do_v with_o his_o stranger_n but_o the_o stranger_n be_v go_v he_o will_v return_v then_o to_o his_o friend_n and_o he_o shall_v lodge_v with_o he_o perhaps_o all_o night_n the_o application_n of_o this_o be_v very_o sweet_a you_o yourselves_o may_v apply_v it_o but_o second_o if_o thou_o can_v but_o willing_o and_o free_o part_v with_o the_o world_n with_o thy_o corruption_n and_o desire_v hearty_o of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v deaden_v thy_o heart_n to_o creature_n and_o give_v in_o more_o of_o himself_o it_o be_v a_o sure_a evidence_n that_o thou_o take_v more_o delight_n in_o the_o thing_n of_o god_n than_o of_o the_o world_n and_o of_o this_o we_o have_v a_o example_n which_o the_o apostle_n give_v we_o in_o the_o patriarch_n heb._n 11.13_o 14._o these_o all_o die_v in_o or_o according_a to_o faith_n not_o have_v receive_v the_o promise_n but_o have_v see_v they_o afar_o off_o and_o be_v persuade_v of_o they_o and_o embrace_v they_o and_o confess_v that_o they_o be_v stranger_n and_o pilgrim_n on_o the_o earth_n for_o they_o that_o say_v
then_o in_o the_o afternoon_n some_o of_o his_o choice_a christian_a friend_n minister_n and_o other_o meet_v to_o seek_v the_o lord_n with_o fervency_n on_o his_o behalf_n when_o again_o pinch_v with_o recur_v pain_n he_o say_v he_o be_v in_o a_o agony_n but_o not_o a_o bloody_a one_o and_o what_o be_v all_o my_o pain_n to_o those_o christ_n do_v undergo_v for_o i_o when_o they_o be_v earnest_a with_o god_n in_o prayer_n for_o faith_n and_o patience_n he_o will_v often_o be_v say_v though_o thou_o kill_v i_o yet_o will_v i_o trust_v in_o thou_o and_o express_v much_o humility_n when_o they_o be_v importunate_a for_o his_o restoration_n ah_o poor_a useless_a sinful_a wretched_a creature_n that_o i_o be_o that_o they_o shall_v be_v so_o earnest_a for_o my_o life_n but_o when_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n that_o his_o pain_n shall_v continue_v and_o the_o joint_n and_o ardent_a prayer_n of_o his_o dear_a relative_n and_o people_n be_v not_o prevalent_a for_o his_o recovery_n he_o will_v be_v ever_o and_o anon_o thus_o still_v and_o quiet_v himself_o what_o shall_v i_o say_v unto_o thou_o o_o thou_o preserver_n of_o man_n one_o minute_n in_o heaven_n will_v make_v amends_o for_o all_o this_o pain_n lviii_o on_o friday_n 27_o his_o repeat_v pain_n do_v continue_v yet_o the_o doctor_n of_o physic_n say_v there_o be_v no_o danger_n towards_o evening_n he_o have_v some_o intermission_n and_o then_o be_v read_v some_o part_n of_o his_o own_o book_n concern_v the_o immortality_n of_o the_o soul_n and_o faith_n triumph_n over_o the_o fear_n of_o death_n that_o friday_n night_n his_o friend_n that_o much_o love_v he_o mr._n jeofferies_n sit_v up_o with_o he_o when_o be_v again_o rack_v with_o grievous_a pain_n he_o speak_v to_o this_o purpose_n oh_o the_o wonderful_a mystery_n of_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n who_o can_v see_v a_o job_n cast_v out_o upon_o a_o dunghill_n fill_v with_o botch_n and_o bile_n for_o saken_a by_o his_o friend_n and_o worry_v by_o satan_n and_o yet_o at_o that_o very_a time_n god_n have_v not_o a_o more_o choice_a servant_n on_o the_o face_n of_o the_o earth_n nor_o one_o more_o dear_a to_o he_o than_o he_o be_v to_o another_o of_o his_o congregation_n come_v with_o his_o wife_n that_o evening_n to_o visit_v he_o and_o say_v if_o it_o shall_v please_v god_n he_o shall_v then_o die_v they_o shall_v be_v a_o scatter_a flock_n as_o sheep_n without_o a_o shepherd_n he_o say_v the_o great_a shepherd_n of_o his_o flock_n live_v still_o or_o eternal_o he_o doubt_v not_o but_o he_o will_v take_v care_n of_o they_o lix_n on_o saturday_n morning_n 28_o he_o by_o the_o help_n of_o his_o intimate_a friend_n mr._n obadiah_n sedgwick_n merchant_n make_v his_o last_o will_n and_o testament_n constitute_v his_o wife_n sole_a executrix_n he_o then_o as_o one_o who_o have_v set_v his_o house_n in_o order_n taking_z leave_z of_o this_o world_n tell_v his_o wife_n he_o have_v now_o do_v with_o wife_n and_o child_n and_o not_o less_o than_o twice_o to_o the_o question_n how_o it_o be_v with_o he_o as_o to_o soul-concerns_a he_o answer_v i_o bless_v the_o lord_n i_o have_v no_o cloud_n upon_o my_o spirit_n yet_o if_o my_o god_n shall_v give_v satan_n leave_v he_o may_v put_v i_o into_o a_o agony_n before_o i_o die_v reverend_a mr._n bragg_n in_o his_o sermon_n p._n 24_o 25._o have_v more_o he_o then_o speak_v of_o this_o nature_n yet_o further_o he_o repeat_v that_o of_o solomon_n the_o soul_n know_v his_o own_o bitterness_n and_o a_o strange_a intermedle_n not_o with_o his_o joy_n he_o tell_v mr._n parson_n his_o fellow-labourer_n in_o the_o ministry_n all_o my_o self-righteousness_n i_o disow_v and_o i_o trust_v only_o to_o christ_n and_o hope_v i_o have_v a_o gospel-righteousness_n this_o evening_n see_v his_o wife_n to_o weep_v he_o say_v i_o prithee_o weep_v not_o but_o turn_v thy_o face_n with_o hezekiah_n to_o the_o wall_n and_o pray_v the_o night_n after_o when_o he_o be_v weak_a his_o pain_n grow_v strong_a but_o 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from_o mat._n 5.20_o put_v in_o a_o plea_n for_o the_o absolute_a necessity_n of_o inherent_a righteousness_n in_o those_o that_o hope_v to_o be_v save_v this_o be_v write_v when_o he_o have_v be_v six_o year_n at_o newington_n as_o he_o say_v in_o his_o epistle_n to_o it_o 2._o the_o immortality_n of_o the_o soul_n prove_v by_o scripture_n and_o reason_n to_o the_o saint_n joy_n and_o the_o sinner_n terror_n print_a much_o about_o the_o time_n of_o his_o last_o marriage_n 1670._o to_o which_o be_v annex_v 3._o the_o triumph_n of_o faith_n be_v in_o a_o tendency_n to_o the_o practical_a improvement_n of_o the_o former_a from_o phil._n 1.21_o answer_v fear_n upon_o the_o conceive_a approach_n of_o death_n 4._o â—_o sermon_n in_o the_o print_a book_n of_o farewell-sermon_n though_o it_o seem_v that_o be_v not_o the_o very_a last_o he_o preach_v before_o sting_a bartholomew_n on_o rev._n 2.5_o remember_v therefore_o from_o whence_o thou_o be_v fall_v and_o do_v the_o first_o work_n or_o 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through_o the_o merit_n of_o his_o death_n and_o suffering_n come_v tell_v i_o be_v not_o this_o thy_o language_n i_o know_v thou_o dare_v not_o to_o speak_v so_o much_o in_o word_n but_o ah_o my_o heart_n i_o find_v thou_o have_v get_v a_o tongue_n as_o well_o as_o my_o mouth_n that_o often_o mutter_n and_o speak_v a_o different_a language_n but_o tell_v i_o if_o thy_o unbelief_n have_v any_o ground_n for_o it_o what_o make_v it_o then_o that_o thyself_o be_v so_o free_a from_o fear_n and_o terror_n when_o thou_o shall_v believe_v the_o almighty_a of_o thy_o body_n death_n resurrection_n and_o come_v to_o judgement_n if_o thou_o think_v he_o not_o thy_o friend_n and_o reconcile_v to_o thou_o in_o his_o son_n if_o not_o methinks_v thy_o fear_n shall_v fright_v thou_o and_o tremble_a seize_v on_o every_o joint_n and_o yet_o thou_o will_v foolish_o mutter_v against_o thy_o own_o feel_n soul_n speak_v o_o bless_a god_n i_o feel_v thou_o have_v overcome_v i_o yield_v i_o yield_v i_o have_v 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answ_n and_o now_o i_o wonder_v at_o thou_o its_o true_a what_o thou_o faye_v if_o thou_o look_v upon_o he_o one_o way_n his_o life_n be_v such_o as_o thou_o tell_v i_o of_o but_o it_o be_v a_o strong_a argument_n against_o thyself_o for_o just_a such_o a_o one_o be_v the_o christ_n to_o be_v according_a to_o the_o prophet_n the_o 53_o chapter_n of_o isaiah_n show_v as_o much_o but_o yet_o if_o thou_o true_o understand_v what_o true_a pomp_n and_o glory_n mean_v even_o to_o a_o eye_n of_o sense_n as_o well_o as_o to_o that_o of_o faith_n solomon_n life_n embroider_v with_o all_o his_o glorious_a act_n be_v not_o comparable_a to_o this_o life_n of_o he_o be_v it_o not_o fill_v with_o miracle_n and_o wonder_n be_v he_o not_o proclaim_v the_o son_n of_o god_n with_o voice_n from_o heaven_n do_v he_o not_o conquer_v devil_n and_o therefore_o the_o kingdom_n of_o hell_n be_v ever_o prince_n on_o earth_n honour_v with_o so_o great_a a_o conquest_n be_v not_o his_o miraculous_a feast_n more_o splendid_a than_o those_o of_o prince_n the_o fare_n be_v but_o poor_a and_o mean_a but_o the_o miracle_n make_v it_o rich_a and_o glorious_a have_v i_o be_v present_a shall_v i_o not_o have_v wonder_v and_o gaze_v more_o at_o the_o master_n of_o this_o feast_n and_o have_v take_v more_o pleasure_n to_o have_v see_v he_o sit_v down_o with_o these_o five_o thousand_o than_o with_o a_o table_n full_a of_o prince_n and_o great_a man_n alas_o it_o be_v a_o trifle_a sight_n to_o this_o methinks_v my_o unbelief_n that_o plead_v so_o much_o for_o sense_n sense_n itself_o plead_v too_o strong_o against_o thou_o for_o thou_o can_v not_o argue_v one_o syllable_n object_n but_o will_v the_o son_n of_o god_n be_v hang_v and_o crucify_v can_v heaven_n have_v suffer_v this_o can_v not_o the_o saviour_n of_o the_o world_n save_o himself_o how_o can_v he_o then_o save_v i_o answ_n have_v thou_o not_o the_o blindness_n of_o the_o jew_n thou_o can_v not_o reason_v thus_o like_o they_o but_o be_v it_o not_o necessary_a it_o shall_v be_v so_o do_v not_o the_o prophet_n foretell_v his_o death_n and_o such_o a_o death_n have_v he_o not_o die_v and_o die_v as_o he_o do_v i_o may_v then_o have_v have_v some_o ground_n to_o doubt_v he_o whether_o he_o be_v the_o messiah_n or_o not_o for_o it_o be_v needful_a that_o the_o prophecy_n shall_v be_v fulfil_v dan._n 9_o but_o yet_o as_o wretched_a and_o as_o contemptible_a a_o go_n out_o of_o the_o world_n as_o he_o have_v and_o his_o manner_n of_o die_v on_o the_o cross_n how_o vile_a soever_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v yet_o be_v there_o not_o enough_o to_o silence_v all_o the_o doubt_n that_o can_v possible_o from_o thence_o arise_v and_o much_o for_o the_o confirmation_n of_o my_o faith_n in_o the_o wonderful_a eclipse_n of_o the_o sun_n the_o rend_n of_o the_o veil_n of_o the_o temple_n the_o open_n of_o the_o grave_n the_o raise_n of_o the_o dead_a and_o afterward_o his_o own_o rise_v the_o three_o day_n and_o ascend_v up_o to_o heaven_n in_o a_o cloud_n if_o my_o faith_n may_v have_v stagger_v in_o see_v he_o on_o the_o cross_n die_v it_o can_v not_o when_o it_o see_v he_o rise_v and_o in_o the_o cloud_n ascend_v object_n but_o be_v those_o wonder_n true_a and_o certain_a answ_n but_o have_v thou_o any_o ground_n to_o doubt_v they_o be_v they_o not_o write_v in_o thy_o bible_n and_o be_v thou_o not_o certain_a that_o it_o be_v the_o word_n of_o god_n or_o have_v thou_o not_o sufficient_a reason_n to_o believe_v it_o to_o be_v so_o but_o have_v thou_o not_o a_o whole_a nation_n yea_o nation_n that_o do_v believe_v the_o
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god_n come_v to_o make_v inquisition_n for_o blood_n how_o will_v you_o do_v if_o this_o sin_n shall_v find_v you_o out_o if_o god_n require_v blood_n for_o blood_n what_o will_v become_v of_o you_o if_o he_o have_v be_v no_o more_o than_o a_o common_a man_n the_o law_n will_v then_o have_v require_v your_o life_n for_o payment_n but_o how_o if_o in_o the_o end_n he_o prove_v a_o prophet_n nay_o more_o than_o that_o the_o son_n of_o the_o most_o high_a god_n the_o prince_n and_o saviour_n who_o god_n have_v promise_v to_o raise_v the_o messiah_n who_o moses_n and_o the_o prophet_n bare_a witness_n to_o and_o he_o that_o you_o so_o long_o long_v and_o wish_v to_o see_v how_o will_v you_o look_v what_o will_v you_o say_v what_o answer_n will_v you_o make_v when_o all_o these_o truth_n be_v clear_v where_o will_v you_o hide_v yourselves_o for_o shame_n and_o what_o will_v you_o do_v when_o confusion_n shall_v thus_o take_v hold_n upon_o you_o what!_o will_v you_o then_o confess_v the_o 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to_o he_o that_o be_v bear_v blind_a yea_o restore_v the_o wither_a hand_n and_o make_v the_o crooked_a straight_o and_o open_v the_o ear_n of_o the_o deaf_a and_o cast_v out_o devil_n and_o raise_v the_o dead_a therefore_o let_v all_o the_o house_n of_o israel_n know_v assure_o that_o god_n have_v make_v that_o son_n jesus_n who_o you_o have_v crucify_v both_o lord_n and_o christ_n upon_o which_o text_n act._n 2.36_o the_o author_n mr._n tho._n wadsworth_n preach_v at_o gregory_n church_n by_o paul_n march_v 29_o 1656._o evidence_v clear_o from_o those_o word_n 1_o that_o the_o poor_a life_n and_o ignominious_a death_n of_o he_o that_o be_v crucify_v at_o jerusalem_n be_v no_o good_a argument_n why_o the_o jew_n shall_v reject_v he_o from_o be_v the_o promise_a messiah_n 2_o that_o that_o very_a god-man_n name_v jesus_n christ_n that_o be_v crucify_v at_o jerusalem_n be_v the_o true_a messiah_n who_o god_n make_v and_o appoint_v to_o be_v saviour_n to_o the_o world_n if_o his_o note_n be_v sufficient_o legible_a in_o the_o prove_v and_o improve_n of_o these_o two_o proposition_n so_o that_o they_o may_v have_v be_v publish_v as_o they_o can_v unless_o any_o take_v they_o in_o shorthand_n for_o his_o own_o use_n there_o will_v have_v be_v find_v in_o that_o discourse_n a_o notable_a antidote_n against_o the_o poison_n of_o judaisme_n and_o the_o atheism_n of_o this_o present_a age_n three_o letter_n of_o mr._n tho._n wadsworth_n to_o his_o sister_n elizabeth_n wadsworth_n in_o southwark_n when_o he_o be_v a_o young_a student_n in_o christs-college_n in_o cambridge_n wherein_o we_o may_v see_v the_o early_a breathe_n of_o his_o pious_a soul_n dear_a sister_n you_o may_v remember_v very_o well_o that_o i_o send_v a_o letter_n to_o you_o all_o in_o general_n to_o wit_n my_o brother_n and_o other_o sister_n but_o it_o be_v my_o wonder_n and_o grief_n that_o i_o shall_v receive_v a_o answer_n from_o none_o of_o you_o i_o think_v that_o your_o love_n to_o i_o be_v not_o so_o contract_v but_o that_o i_o may_v have_v procure_v such_o a_o favour_n at_o your_o hand_n as_o three_o or_o four_o line_n in_o a_o letter_n but_o however_o your_o not_o regard_v of_o i_o have_v not_o beget_v in_o my_o soul_n such_o regardlesness_n towards_o you_o and_o therefore_o from_o among_o the_o rest_n i_o have_v choose_v you_o out_o in_o particular_a to_o see_v whether_o you_o in_o particular_a will_v give_v i_o a_o answer_n to_o my_o other_o letter_n i_o remember_v that_o the_o last_o time_n i_o be_v with_o you_o upon_o conference_n that_o i_o have_v with_o you_o i_o find_v a_o good_a and_o pliable_a nature_n in_o you_o some_o softness_n of_o heart_n appear_v by_o that_o crystal_n dew_n which_o trickle_v down_o your_o cheek_n i_o will_v have_v wish_v in_o some_o respect_n that_o it_o have_v continue_v until_o this_o time_n for_o true_o nothing_o speak_v fair_a weather_n in_o heaven_n than_o moisten_a cheek_n below_o on_o earth_n you_o must_v not_o think_v to_o come_v to_o mount_n zion_n the_o heavenly_a jerusalem_n before_o you_o have_v pass_v through_o a_o vail_n of_o tear_n heaven_n be_v not_o a_o bauble_n and_o it_o can_v be_v attain_v by_o mirth_n and_o jollity_n you_o must_v not_o think_v to_o live_v merry_o in_o earth_n and_o in_o heaven_n too_o i_o know_v you_o be_v natural_o merry_a and_o jocund_a but_o you_o must_v labour_v to_o mortify_v that_o merry_a nature_n you_o have_v you_o be_v natural_o full_a of_o talk_n but_o if_o you_o love_v your_o soul_n you_o must_v labour_v to_o bridle_v the_o tongue_n perhaps_o you_o will_v say_v o_o brother_n this_o i_o will_v willing_o do_v but_o i_o can_v tell_v how_o i_o will_v give_v you_o this_o answer_n first_o labour_v to_o live_v more_o serious_o to_o talk_v less_o let_v your_o thought_n be_v on_o god_n and_o think_v that_o he_o hear_v every_o word_n you_o speak_v and_o as_o our_o saviour_n say_v you_o must_v give_v a_o account_n for_o every_o idle_a word_n you_o must_v not_o think_v you_o shall_v ever_o be_v swallow_v up_o in_o love_n that_o you_o shall_v ever_o bathe_v yourself_o in_o divine_a ravishment_n to_o all_o eternity_n with_o god_n in_o glory_n and_o walk_v so_o light_o and_o vain_o here_o on_o earth_n o_o that_o i_o can_v but_o persuade_v your_o soul_n of_o this_o if_o i_o can_v i_o know_v that_o you_o will_v desire_v no_o other_o glory_n than_o to_o swim_v all_o your_o life-time_n in_o a_o river_n of_o tear_n i_o shall_v not_o here_o speak_v of_o the_o glory_n which_o your_o soul_n shall_v enjoy_v in_o heaven_n lest_o my_o soul_n in_o writing_n shall_v be_v swallow_v up_o with_o confusion_n for_o if_o i_o know_v where_o to_o begin_v yet_o i_o shall_v never_o know_v where_o to_o make_v a_o end_n angel_n themselves_o have_v be_v wade_v these_o five_o thousand_o year_n in_o this_o ocean_n and_o can_v come_v to_o the_o depth_n of_o it_o yea_o and_o shall_v be_v wade_v to_o all_o eternity_n with_o the_o glorify_a saint_n and_o yet_o shall_v never_o fathom_v it_o and_o now_o if_o thou_o be_v willing_a that_o thy_o soul_n shall_v accompany_v my_o soul_n unto_o this_o ocean_n of_o love_n take_v notice_n then_o of_o these_o path_n which_o i_o shall_v here_o set_v down_o which_o will_v lead_v thou_o unto_o this_o desire_a happiness_n and_o true_o i_o beg_v of_o thou_o and_o likewise_o charge_v thou_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o almighty_a god_n as_o thou_o shall_v one_o day_n answer_v it_o at_o the_o judgment-seat_n when_o god_n shall_v judge_v the_o quick_a and_o the_o dead_a that_o you_o do_v not_o when_o you_o have_v read_v this_o letter_n cast_v it_o away_o and_o look_v on_o it_o no_o more_o therefore_o i_o beseech_v of_o thou_o as_o thou_o be_v dear_a to_o i_o as_o a_o sister_n that_o thou_o will_v put_v into_o practice_v every_o word_n that_o i_o shall_v say_v first_o then_o be_v constant_a in_o prayer_n by_o thyself_o both_o evening_n and_o morning_n and_o if_o you_o find_v any_o good_a motion_n in_o the_o daytime_n go_v then_o again_o to_o prayer_n and_o if_o you_o ask_v i_o how_o you_o shall_v pray_v i_o answer_v thou_o pray_v against_o every_o sin_n thou_o find_v thy_o heart_n prone_a to_o commit_v pray_v against_o thy_o carnal_a joy_n and_o beg_v that_o thou_o may_v be_v most_o serious_a in_o thy_o conversation_n do_v thou_o find_v in_o thy_o soul_n that_o thou_o can_v not_o mourn_v for_o sin_n pray_o that_o god_n will_v soften_v thy_o hard_a heart_n that_o he_o will_v make_v thou_o to_o mourn_v to_o weep_v and_o lament_v thy_o sin_n because_o they_o be_v against_o such_o a_o tender_a and_o love_a father_n as_o god_n do_v thou_o find_v that_o thou_o be_v give_v to_o anger_n pettishness_n and_o frowardness_n pray_v
that_o shall_v keep_v the_o angel_n of_o heaven_n company_n to_o all_o eternity_n in_o the_o heaven_n to_o glorify_v the_o maker_n and_o the_o redeemer_n of_o the_o world_n this_o be_v the_o church_n a_o church_n in_o a_o kingdom_n be_v the_o glory_n of_o the_o kingdom_n and_o god_n in_o the_o church_n be_v the_o glory_n of_o the_o church_n when_o god_n leave_v a_o church_n or_o kingdom_n you_o may_v name_v it_o this_o name_n the_o glory_n be_v depart_v the_o glory_n be_v depart_v from_o a_o town_n or_o kingdom_n when_o the_o church_n of_o christ_n be_v depart_v if_o it_o be_v so_o it_o will_v be_v worth_a our_o while_n to_o inquire_v which_o be_v this_o church_n of_o christ_n for_o there_o be_v many_o pretension_n lay_v to_o the_o church_n many_o will_v call_v themselves_o the_o church_n the_o jew_n they_o will_v be_v the_o church_n of_o god_n the_o turk_n will_v be_v a_o church_n of_o god_n for_o they_o profess_v to_o worship_v the_o god_n of_o heaven_n the_o papist_n they_o will_v be_v a_o church_n of_o god_n and_o in_o england_n there_o be_v many_o party_n lay_v their_o claim_n to_o the_o church_n of_o god_n no_o wonder_n my_o brethren_n that_o every_o one_o be_v so_o desirous_a to_o bear_v that_o title_n of_o be_v the_o church_n of_o god_n it_o be_v the_o most_o glorious_a title_n of_o the_o world_n as_o i_o have_v show_v you_o it_o be_v the_o glory_n of_o the_o world_n but_o to_o help_v you_o to_o find_v out_o this_o church_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o all_o these_o claim_v that_o be_v lay_v to_o it_o i_o have_v choose_v this_o verse_n wherein_o the_o holy_a ghost_n give_v a_o description_n of_o it_o for_o by_o these_o character_n you_o will_v be_v able_a to_o find_v it_o out_o for_o this_o verse_n be_v nothing_o else_o but_o a_o characterize_n of_o the_o nature_n of_o the_o church_n of_o god_n and_o there_o appear_v a_o great_a wonder_n in_o heaven_n a_o woman_n clothe_v with_o the_o sun_n and_o the_o moon_n under_o her_o foot_n and_o upon_o her_o head_n a_o 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a_o people_n keep_v themselves_o holy_a in_o the_o midst_n of_o a_o wicked_a and_o perverse_a generation_n to_o see_v a_o people_n live_v to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n in_o a_o wicked_a and_o debauch_a kingdom_n be_v a_o wonder_n for_o in_o spite_n of_o all_o the_o wrath_n and_o rage_n of_o the_o devil_n they_o be_v resolve_v to_o love_n god_n and_o follow_v the_o lamb_n where_o ever_o he_o lead_v they_o this_o be_v a_o wonder_n and_o in_o many_o respect_v the_o church_n may_v be_v say_v to_o be_v a_o wonder_n a_o wonder_n to_o angel_n a_o wonder_n to_o devil_n and_o a_o wonder_n to_o the_o wicked_a world_n a_o wonder_n to_o angel_n we_o read_v they_o desire_v to_o peep_v into_o the_o mystery_n of_o redemption_n of_o christ_n come_v into_o the_o world_n to_o die_v for_o a_o company_n of_o sinful_a creature_n that_o deserve_v no_o better_o a_o condition_n than_o the_o dungeon_n of_o hell_n but_o for_o you_o angel_n to_o see_v god_n take_v poor_a sinner_n from_o the_o dungeon_n of_o 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either_o in_o heart_n or_o life_n to_o see_v god_n take_v we_o and_o wash_v we_o like_o swine_n out_o of_o the_o mire_n and_o cleanse_v we_o and_o make_v we_o live_v like_o his_o child_n and_o call_v we_o his_o own_o and_o write_v his_o name_n upon_o we_o and_o seal_v we_o up_o for_o a_o eternal_a state_n in_o the_o heaven_n and_o so_o the_o wicked_a world_n do_v wonder_n that_o we_o do_v not_o follow_v they_o in_o the_o same_o excess_n of_o riot_n drunkenness_n and_o sing_v and_o rant_a in_o the_o tavern_n and_o alehouse_n they_o wonder_v at_o it_o well_o i_o see_v this_o wonder_n in_o heaven_n that_o be_v in_o a_o most_o exalt_a state_n and_o so_o my_o brethren_n it_o be_v in_o its_o own_o self_n in_o its_o nature_n it_o be_v high_o exalt_v in_o the_o heaven_n of_o god_n favour_n and_o affection_n and_o when_o the_o time_n shall_v come_v that_o god_n will_v perfect_v his_o church_n she_o shall_v shine_v in_o glory_n as_o in_o a_o most_o exalt_a state_n and_o condition_n and_o it_o be_v this_o she_o expect_v and_o for_o this_o she_o say_v come_v lord_n jesus_n and_o for_o this_o he_o say_v i_o come_v quick_o but_o more_o particular_o to_o the_o nature_n of_o this_o wonder_n what_o be_v it_o 1._o it_o be_v describe_v by_o a_o woman_n 2._o the_o attire_n and_o 3._o the_o place_n of_o her_o stand_n first_o a_o woman_n and_o her_o attire_n and_o that_o be_v first_o of_o her_o head_n a_o crown_n of_o twelve_o star_n 2._o the_o attire_n of_o her_o body_n clothe_v with_o the_o sun_n and_o then_o 3_o here_o be_v her_o stand_n she_o stand_v upon_o the_o moon_n trample_v that_o under_o her_o foot_n and_o this_o be_v a_o description_n of_o you_o so_o many_o of_o you_o as_o be_v true_a member_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n what_o great_a thing_n be_v here_o speak_v be_v speak_v of_o every_o believer_n here_o first_o a_o woman_n why_o be_v the_o church_n compare_v to_o a_o woman_n that_o the_o church_n be_v compare_v to_o a_o woman_n in_o scripture_n that_o be_v plain_a 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a_o deform_a one_o but_o a_o virgin_n without_o wrinkle_n without_o spot_n when_o the_o church_n be_v sanctify_v by_o the_o spirit_n of_o christ_n and_o nothing_o in_o your_o heart_n but_o love_n fear_v and_o holiness_n than_o you_o have_v this_o beauty_n that_o be_v without_o spot_n or_o wrinkle_n sin_n do_v sully_v the_o soul_n but_o grace_n take_v away_o spot_n and_o wrinkle_n likewise_o 2._o the_o church_n be_v compare_v to_o a_o woman_n for_o her_o affection_n their_o affection_n ordinary_o be_v more_o strong_a it_o be_v say_v of_o jonathan_n his_o love_n do_v exceed_v the_o love_n of_o woman_n the_o holy_a ghost_n compare_v the_o church_n to_o a_o woman_n to_o signify_v that_o all_o the_o member_n of_o christ_n have_v a_o very_a ardent_a love_n and_o affection_n to_o christ_n no_o love_n so_o strong_a as_o the_o love_n of_o a_o saint_n to_o christ_n and_o therefore_o it_o be_v say_v that_o many_o water_n can_v quench_v it_o there_o be_v few_o will_v be_v beggar_a for_o the_o sake_n of_o another_o or_o banish_v or_o hang_v upon_o a_o gallow_n for_o the_o sake_n of_o another_o burn_v at_o a_o stake_n for_o another_o sake_n and_o yet_o the_o love_n of_o a_o saint_n make_v nothing_o of_o all_o this_o it_o rejoice_v to_o see_v its_o good_n spoil_v for_o christ_n to_o think_v itself_o worthy_a to_o be_v whip_v for_o christ_n to_o go_v up_o a_o ladder_n and_o to_o be_v throw_v down_o with_o a_o rope_n about_o its_o neck_n for_o christ_n water_n can_v quench_v a_o saint_n love_n neither_o can_v fire_n hinder_v a_o saint_n from_o christ_n neither_o thing_n present_a or_o thing_n to_o come_v can_v sepaparate_v from_o christ_n you_o will_v all_o be_v of_o this_o church_n pray_v look_v that_o you_o have_v affection_n suitable_a for_o christ_n you_o may_v have_v a_o time_n to_o try_v your_o affection_n if_o you_o want_v affection_n you_o be_v none_o of_o this_o woman_n 3._o the_o church_n be_v compare_v to_o a_o woman_n for_o her_o fruitfulness_n the_o church_n of_o 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arm_n think_v not_o upon_o fight_v but_o present_o the_o angel_n rescue_v she_o vers_fw-la 7._o and_o there_o be_v war_n in_o heaven_n michael_n and_o his_o angel_n fight_v against_o the_o dragon_n and_o the_o dragon_n and_o his_o angel_n fight_v and_o prevail_v not_o that_o be_v the_o host_n of_o angel_n do_v contend_v with_o the_o devil_n and_o his_o angel_n and_o will_v not_o permit_v he_o to_o destroy_v she_o and_o she_o flee_v into_o the_o wilderness_n vers_fw-la 6._o and_o she_o flee_v into_o the_o wilderness_n where_o she_o have_v a_o place_n prepare_v of_o god_n that_o they_o shall_v feed_v she_o there_o a_o thousand_o two_o hundred_o and_o threescore_o day_n she_o flee_v into_o a_o wilderness_n but_o in_o a_o secure_a state_n she_o be_v secure_v in_o her_o wilderness_n and_o god_n look_v after_o she_o and_o we_o be_v in_o this_o thousand_o two_o hundred_o threescore_o day_n she_o be_v a_o weak_a church_n but_o strong_a in_o christ_n and_o if_o so_o my_o brethren_n though_o you_o be_v weak_a and_o meek_a as_o a_o sheep_n and_o compare_v to_o a_o woman_n the_o weak_a sex_n yet_o notwithstanding_o fear_v not_o for_o i_o can_v stand_v to_o speak_v of_o all_o the_o thing_n in_o this_o chapter_n great_a wing_n be_v give_v she_o to_o fly_v with_o the_o whole_a earth_n step_v out_o to_o help_v she_o and_o swallow_v up_o the_o flood_n which_o the_o dragon_n cast_v out_o of_o his_o mouth_n and_o the_o angel_n help_v she_o well_o now_o let_v we_o come_v to_o the_o attire_n i_o have_v show_v you_o the_o reason_n why_o she_o be_v compare_v to_o a_o woman_n and_o we_o will_v begin_v at_o her_o head_n and_o so_o come_v down_o to_o her_o foot_n on_o her_o head_n a_o crown_n of_o twelve_o sâ—arâ—_n and_o her_o body_n be_v clothe_v with_o the_o sun_n and_o under_o her_o foot_n the_o moon_n what_o be_v this_o crown_n of_o twelve_o star_n if_o you_o do_v but_o mark_v the_o h._n ghost_n through_o this_o book_n of_o the_o revelation_n you_o will_v find_v he_o take_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o pleasure_n in_o this_o number_n twelve_o and_o he_o do_v always_o use_v it_o when_o he_o speak_v of_o the_o true_a church_n the_o new_a jerusalem_n it_o have_v twelve_o gate_n and_o the_o tree_n of_o life_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o this_o new_a jerusalem_n this_o tree_n of_o life_n bear_v twelve_o sort_n of_o fruit_n this_o you_o have_v in_o the_o last_o chapter_n and_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o street_n of_o it_o and_o of_o either_o side_n of_o the_o river_n be_v there_o the_o tree_n of_o life_n which_o bear_v twelve_o manner_n of_o fruit_n and_o yield_v her_o fruit_n every_o month_n and_o the_o leaf_n of_o the_o tree_n be_v for_o the_o heal_n of_o the_o nation_n why_o twelve_o gate_n for_o the_o city_n and_o twelve_o fruit_n upon_o the_o tree_n and_o twelve_o star_n upon_o the_o crown_n of_o this_o church_n what_o be_v the_o meaning_n of_o this_o i_o will_v tell_v you_o what_o it_o be_v you_o know_v jesus_n christ_n when_o he_o go_v about_o to_o gather_v this_o church_n out_o of_o the_o world_n he_o do_v choose_v twelve_o man_n that_o be_v his_o apostle_n and_o these_o twelve_o man_n he_o do_v acquaint_v with_o the_o whole_a mystery_n of_o the_o gospel_n all_o the_o thing_n that_o he_o will_v have_v they_o teach_v the_o world_n he_o give_v they_o in_o commandment_n and_o they_o be_v to_o be_v under_o he_o the_o father_n to_o beget_v this_o church_n and_o christ_n call_v they_o light_n you_o be_v the_o light_n of_o the_o world_n because_o they_o be_v to_o deliver_v forth_o this_o doctrine_n of_o the_o gospel_n this_o light_n from_o heaven_n these_o truth_n that_o lead_v man_n like_o taper_n through_o this_o dark_a dungeon_n
in_o it_o that_o i_o do_v fear_n thou_o can_v not_o save_v nothing_o can_v hinder_v if_o thou_o please_v nor_o devil_n hell_n nor_o grave_a nor_o do_v i_o doubt_v but_o it_o be_v thy_o will_n to_o save_v some_o such_o as_o i_o for_o as_o vile_a wretch_n as_o i_o be_o thy_o son_n do_v free_o die_v in_o the_o deep_a sea_n of_o thy_o rich_a love_n blaspheme_v paul_n do_v swim_v he_o though_o thy_o saint_n he_o seek_v to_o kill_v yet_o thou_o do_v pardon_v he_o the_o harlot_n mary_n magdalen_n who_o deep_o run_v on_o score_n who_o do_v ten_o thousand_o talent_n owe_v yet_o that_o debt-bond_n be_v tear_v a_o swear_v curse_a peter_n thou_o do_v to_o thy_o mercy_n take_v that_o son_n who_o he_o do_v fear_n to_o own_o thou_o pardon'_v for_o his_o sake_n this_o make_v i_o confident_a my_o god_n that_o heaven_n may_v be_v my_o place_n if_o thou_o will_v please_v to_o grant_v to_o i_o mary_fw-mi or_o peter_n grace_n give_v i_o o_o god_n to_o go_v aside_o and_o in_o some_o corner_n creep_v that_o there_o with_o peter_n bitter_o in_o dolour_n i_o may_v weep_v give_v i_o but_o sinful_a mary_n love_n love_n shall_v my_o ointment_n be_v which_o i_o upon_o my_o lord_n foot_n will_v pour_v out_o as_o well_o as_o she_o but_o ah_o my_o god_n this_o be_v my_o fear_n their_o faith_n and_o love_n i_o want_v my_o carnal_a proud_a and_o sensual_a heart_n speak_v i_o no_o penitent_a this_o only_a lord_n i_o have_v to_o plead_v those_o lust_n my_o heart_n do_v hate_n i_o long_o i_o wish_v to_o be_v set_v free_a from_o this_o sad_a sinful_a state_n sure_o lord_n i_o be_o no_o enemy_n to_o holiness_n within_o thou_o see_v my_o soul_n contend_v and_o strive_v to_o beat_v down_o every_o sin_n when_o that_o perchance_o my_o foot_n do_v slip_v and_o thou_o i_o do_v offend_v do_v not_o my_o sin_n make_v i_o to_o mourn_v and_o do_v it_o i_o strive_v to_o mend_v have_v not_o i_o faith_n why_o shall_v i_o fear_v the_o threaten_n of_o thy_o law_n why_o shall_v i_o dread_v thy_o majesty_n and_o of_o thou_o stand_v in_o awe_n have_v i_o not_o faith_n why_o shall_v i_o long_o thy_o face_n above_o to_o see_v why_o shall_v i_o pray_v sue_v so_o hard_o to_o get_v my_o liberty_n do_v not_o i_o love_v thou_o why_o shall_v i_o my_o love_a self_n forsake_v why_o shall_v i_o loathe_v my_o love_a sin_n for_o thy_o belove_n sake_n do_v i_o not_o love_n why_o do_v it_o the_o shell_n of_o duty_n i_o suffice_v in_o sacrament_n and_o prayer_n why_o do_v i_o thus_o thy_o presence_n prize_n do_v i_o dissemble_v to_o be_v see_v of_o man_n why_o do_v my_o sin_n which_o none_o know_v but_o myself_o alone_o i_o trouble_v that_o be_v within_a do_v i_o dissemble_v than_o my_o tear_n my_o sigh_n in_o company_n will_v more_o be_v hear_v and_o see_v then_o when_o my_o god_n alone_o stand_v by_o it_o be_v true_a i_o love_v thou_o not_o enough_o nor_o be_v my_o faith_n so_o strong_a but_o that_o with_o grief_n i_o do_v confess_v thy_o faithfulness_n i_o wrong_v but_o lord_n remember_v i_o be_o but_o dust_n 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