Forwardness creates a suspicion of Unlawful Desires and consequently eclipses the Lustre of her Fame But however let her be so Prudent in the Displays of her Civilities and in giving signs of her Favour as to take away even the least glympse of Dishonest Hopes IV. Wherefore another Caution to be observ'd by these Objects of Courtship is Not to have too great a Conceit of their Handsomness 'T is an Infirmity to some of the Sex to ascribe too much unto it who because they are Attended with Throngs of Admirers and are honour'd with the Ceremonies of Bare-heads and Bended-Knees are reverenc'd with supple Coopees and Congees and pelted with the Addresses of Battering Epistles they think these Foppish Observances to be the Effects of their Features and undeniable Proofs of their Charming Faces and therefore are Ambitious of a whole Legion of Suiters and by this means oftentimes take occasion to hop over and transgress the bounds of Modesty and degenerate into Impudence which they Lasciviously express in their Looks Words and Gesture and fancy they are observ'd and Lov'd for their Bonny Carriage But they are much deceiv'd For if there be any Mouths that water at them or any Bellies that wamble after them the Inclination proceeds not so much from an honest opinion of them or a vertuous Passion towards them as from the Dishonest hopes of Easiness of Enjoying them Let not a Mistress be so Light and Vain as to draw the eyes of all Men after her But let her be so virtuous in her Conversation so sweet in her Actions that every Beholder may be her Votary and then all Filthy Desires and Smutty Flames will die and vanish Whosoever is Bless'd with the Love of such a Person let him sit down satisfy'd with the least hint of her Favour and value the happiness but of one smile above a Monopoly of all the Felicities of the whole World V. But perhaps it may be said That this Doctrine of Love is somewhat severe in regard it prescribes such Lessons of Coyness which so confines the Speech Looks Gestures of Young Ladies as that it not only takes away all Hope from their Gallants but even drives them to the very Brink of Despair Men desire not those things that are impossible to be obtain'd And though some â—emales puff't up with the conceit of their imaginary Beauty in the first Encounters of Love are Satyrical in their Expressions yet a little Familiar Converse with the sweets of that Passion will soften their Rigours and dissolve their Expressions into Courteous Periods But if Ladies be so Morose and Gloomy as not to clear up sometimes into a pleasant Gayety either in Speech or Gesture they will not be ador'd by so many Votaries but will Discourage the Religion and Cool the Fervency of their Devour Admirers Now in answer to this I would not have Mistresses take away all Hope But only frustrate Dishonest Expectations which a true Gentleman will never cherish For if Beauty and Modesty Candour and Piety and a numerous cluster of other Perfections were the Incentives of his Passion and the only Magnetisms that drew him after Her then it must needs follow that his Affections are Vertuous And if an honourable Genealogy the Reputation of Valour Learning and Civility and a Graceful Mein in every Action attended with the Advantage of other Accomplishments are the Things that purchas'd the Ladies Favour then certainly the end of this Love must be of the same Nature and Complexion that is most worthy like the Means that first caus'd it VI. Mens Humours differ according to the variety of Female Tempers Some when they observe a comely seriousness either in a Ladies Motion or Conversation have such a veneration for her Phlegm as that they dare not offer up an obsequious Amour nor presume to discompose the Gravity of her Bum with the Merry Touch of an extended Hop-pole wherefore wheeling about to the Sanguine Lasses they fall down Adorers of their Inviting Briskness whose Aiery Frolicks enliven'd with the Charms of winning Language do Tempt their Affections and swell their Hopes even to strong Expectations of the sweets of Fruition Others to avoid the Snares of Tricks and Fallacies do affect those Ladies most who in the very glance of the eye in every word and action are so Transparent as that their most inward Conceptions are Plain and Legible Others fancy those most excellent whom they find most difficult and glory in the surrender of that Fort which to others hath been Impregnable and love to hover in Addresses and Flutter in Courtship about Reservedness and Austerity Thinking it Honourable to quell a Rebellious and melt an obdurate Soul with the Irresistable Power and Heat of Love These Persons too much confiding in their own Wisdom and supposing they cannot be deceiv'd or circumvented do oftentimes Doat on those Girles who by their subtil Wit conceal a thousand snares under an indifferent Aspect Nay sometimes have a Kindness and nivel after those who affect as a Grace a scornful Look Few words and a little Smile and that on purpose meerly to seem to slight an Admirer and despise the obsequionsness of an Officious Servant Lastly there are others so Curious who think none worthy of their Love unless compos'd of Beauty and Eloquence Civility and Prudence and have in them a general Muster or whole Randezvouz of all Perfections unless she be the Result of all those Elegancies the Painter borrow'd to consummate the Pourtraicture of his most Absolute Beauty Though a Young Lady be not admir'd by such Gallants as make their Addresses for some Dishonest Design yet she will have Servants to celebrate her Worth and to adore her Vertue The Second PART SECT II. How Young Gentlemen should behave themselves in the Business of Love so as to purchase the Favour and Affections of their Mistresses WHosoever undertakes the Task of Love and is resolv'd manfully to fight under Cupid's Banner so as to return Triumphant with the spoils of Hearts and Souls of Pillag'd Virgins must first study to please and to frame and accommodate himself to the Inclinations and Affections of them and so comply with the Beck of his Mistress as that all his Senses must be Vassals Devoted to her Service Nay his very Soul must be her Slave and Lacquey He must not be so constant to himself but if occasion shall serve must change himself into a thousand shapes These are the duties and offices of Lovers And indeed what greater Happiness can there be than for two Souls thus to be govern'd by one Will 'T is certain Suiters adapt their studies thoughts and endeavours to the Fancies and Humours of their Mistresses But if their officious obsequiousness is not visible enough They must make them so publick and manifest that the Lady cannot but understand them cannot pretend to be ignorant of them but yet it must be done so modestly that nothing may be diminish'd of her Esteem or Veneration My meaning is
formal Disguizes or Counterfeit Formalities of Hypocritical Pretenders And indeed to give a true Characteristick Note nay probable Conjectures of a feigned Kindness and to distinguish it from a real Affection is a thing not very Feasible For so great is the Subtlety and Craft of Dissembling Woers that they personate Grief and with Crocodile-Tears act a Sorrow when they are big with Jest and Pregnant with Scoffs and Laughter How gloomy their Aspect and full of clouds how Pale their Complexion how Mournful their Voice interrupted with sighs and repeated Groans How will these officious Ghosts like gastly Apparitions watch her steps and observe her motion and in the Church and Theater nay at every corner at once both infest and affright her with the horror of their Presence How will they Dun for Love by importunate style of Courting Letters and Wheedle out a Kindness by the winning and persuasive Rhetoric of obliging Present What Passionate Whinings and silent Dialogues weav'd by the Amorous Entercourse of Mutual Glances How will they dart and convey their Sentiments by an expressive Twinckle and discover their Thoughts by the silent speech of a Languishing Eye What shall I say of the pompous Festivity of splendid Treatments and the Diverting Magnificence of Masquerades All which are solemn Institutions Devoted to the Honour of their Admir'd Lady whose Slumbers in the Night are pleasantly soften'd with charms of Musick or her Repose disturb'd with the ruder Serenade of Ungrateful Sighs What Insinuations into the Favour of her chief Attendants that they may corrupt and bribe them into a close confederacy who must occasionally discover how cruelly they are scorch't in the insupportable Flames and Tormented in the Tophet of Burning Love how that they value neither Life nor Fortune but are ready to offer up both as a Sacrifice for the Favour and Mercy but of one Smile and that they design nothing but what is Honourable and Vertuous the utmost of whose Ambition is to converse with her whose Blessed Company is almost the only Heaven they wish for or desire the Fruition of whose Presence but one moment almost equals the Extasies and the Eternal Transports of the Beatifick Vision If she willingly Listens to such Discourse as this and the Language seems not a little pleasing then there is no Difficulty but what is already conquer'd then False Keys and Opiates and Ladders of Ropes are immediately produc't all things are represented Facile and Easie and appear with so good a Face and Aspect that to consummate all there is nothing wanting but her bare Consent Which if she Denies and is resolv'd to stand out against the Siege then they more vigorously attaque her reinforce their persuasions and raise such Importunate Batteries as will force and compel that Inexorable Fort of her self to surrender Some when they have Despair'd of Victory have turn'd the sweetness of their soft Courtship into the harshness and bitterness of threatning Language and have pointed their Panegyricks with the sting of Satyrs Others charm them with the Magick of Spells and Philters and by an entangling Potion have depriv'd them of that Liberty that Nature gave them These are the subtle Artifices that Suitors make use of to circumvent their Mistresses And how can those Innocent Professors of Honesty and Simplicity a void so many Snares in Ambuscado for them And therefore what wonder if an Harmless Virgin be entrap'd by Cupid when she perceives her self to have been so long ador'd by so Passionate a Young Gallant who scruples at no Dangers to purchase her Favour III. But that she may not miscarry in her Amours nor become a Prey to the most subtile Passion Let her be sure to observe this General Rule viz. Not too easily Believe more than is meet that she is Belov'd 'T is a common Infirmity of Women presently to apprehend all Discourses of Love though Dark and Mysterious and even at first Dash to acknowledg the most Extravagant Commendations or if by chance they do disown them yet they do it so faintly and coldly that seem rather to invite an Address than reject it and to add Fuel to the Flame rather than extinguish it In all offices therefore of Civility and Dialogues of Love Let her beware of thinking That any Man Admires her because he Discourses volubly of the Passion And if he be Immodest that talks with her Let a Blush discover her Dislike of his Language If he speaks Obscurely and Artificially of Love Then let her pretend not to understand him and when she hath turn'd his Expressions to another Sence by an Ingenuous Sagacity let her decline the subject But if the Thing be so Plain that she cannot Dissemble let her Divert it with a Jest and interpret all things candidly for by this means will she purchase the Reputation of Wisdom and Discretion and will not so easily be impos'd upon and deceiv'd But now suppose a Man be truly enamour'd and should be really Tormented with those Affections and be wounded with those Darts that are wont to perplex and stick in the Souls of Men What shall the Rhetorick of his Miseries avail nothing Will not Lasses at all be mov'd with solemn Protestations Sighs and Disquietudes of an Anxious Breast those usual Arguments of Devoted Affections Must they thus add an Artificial Cruelty to the Natural Barbarity and Unkindness of their Sex In answer to this I must confess 't is hard to give rules in this Particular in regard of Mens different Natures and Dispositions only let Young Ladies always remember That Men make greater Professions of Love than Women But it further may be demanded What Must a Young Lady make no Returns of Kindness Will not a spark glowing in the Breast of her Paramour kindle a Flame in her Bosom Must she Eccho back no Sighs and make no Reflection of Amorous Groans When her Courtier advances must she then retreat By doing thus she will wholly deprive her self of that Homage and Obsequiousness which Young Gallants are wont to pay to their Mistresses Must she be so Inhumane as not to give the least Countenance and Satisfaction to her Importunate Suitor What Not one Cheering Look Not one Amorous Glance of a sheep's eye No Gomfort and Refreshment from obliging Dimple No Courteous Pressure of Treading Toe or Private Invitation of Mystic Twitch Now by way of Reply to this Psay If she smile on any Let him enjoy that Sun-shine of her Face to whom she intends to resign up her Dear Self to Honour with the Espousals of her whole Person so that if sometimes she recreates him with the Pleasure of a Glance or gratifies him with the Blessing of a dropt Glove or caress him with other loosely scatter'd Expressions of Kindness we censure not her Civility But if she be Fleering and Gamesome and too Prodigal of her private Treads and Twinckles of her secret Squeezes and Twitches and other Love-Tokens when no Marriage Noose is e're intended Her Petulant
If the Lover be so sheepish and Bashful that he is asham'd to speak yet let him not fear to write And if he be wise before he transact any such thing with a Woman let him be sure that he do not offend in it All Women desire to be ask't and intreated though they resolve to deny the Favour Now in trying whether he shall have a repulse or not let him do it either by Word or Letter so modestly and warily and withal so doubtfully that she may have room and scope if she please to pretend and dissemble that she understands nothing of Love in the case and so by this means if there be any danger he may excuse himself and say he did it for some other end namely for that enjoyment of that Communion and Familiarity which ought to be cherish't amongst Friends But he must not affirm it so religiously but that afterward he may deny it if what he does be receiv'd a Pledg and Testimony of his Kindness II. For those that are too Rash and Bold at the first Adventure do usually by their abrupt Blundering into the sacred presence of their Mistresses make their Prayers Ineffectual in regard their Impudence very much disobliges who pretend Love without the Ceremony and Preface of their officious Civility 'T is more Convenient therefore rather by Signs and Proofs than by Words and Letters to signifie their Passion One Sigh attended with respect and awful Fear is a more certain Token of Affection than Curiosity of Eloquence in a Flood of Words Besides the Eyes are the truest Nuncio's which will faithfully perform an Embassy from the heart For these will kindle a Flame in the Breast of her that is so much ador'd For the visive rays being darted into her eyes never rest till they arrive to her heart where mingling themselves with the blood and spirit do at length infect them which being a little warm and assimilated to the Agent receive the impression of the arriv'd Image And thus whilst the sparks of Beauty through the casement of the Eys do mutually light upon each others hearts the wisp of Love begins to blaze whose Vestal Flames will never die being nourish't by the Fewel of never-failing Hope So that we safely affirm That the Eyes oftentimes are the Authors and Dispensers of Love especially if they retain a Natural Majestick sweetness or a pleasant Blackness or a chearful caeruleousness or lastly have such piercing glances which dive and enter into the very Recesses of the Soul The Eys like expert Souldiers lie in ambush and if the composure of the other Parts be Uniform and Decorous they entice Spectators and inveigle them at a distance whom as they nearer approach they wound with their Darts and fascinate with their Charms and that chiefly when they mutually stare with Direct glances For in that pleasant encounter as distemper'd Opticks corrupt the sound one they mutually partake of each others Natures And thus you see how by this way a Lover may twinckle out his Inclinations and Desires and discover the Grumblings of his Gizzard to his Dear Lady But now if these Betrayers of Love are not artificially manag'd they will be apt to blabb by an untoward Goggle the Disorders and Perturbations of an enamour'd Soul to those from whom we would have them conceal'd Cupid will be likely enough to peep out of these crystal windows Let a Prudent Lover therefore as time and place shall require tye up his Looks and not suffer them to straggle and rove unseasonably What though a Prospect of her Beauties be a Refreshment and verdure to his Soul and Sight yet let him divert his Pigs-neys from the luxury of that Look which may in the least proclaim the Hanckerings of Love But is it not more Prudent to do all things openly and in the eys of the World Is it not better to Bill in open view and to Toy it in publick where there is witnesses of your Friskings than to smack it in the dark and to be jumbling in hugger-mugger behind the door For the Freeness and Publickness of these Actions will take away the suspicion of all Love seeing 't is not regarded whether they are seen or not whereas a sly Colt that loves to Lecher it in a corner will give occasion of Jealousie Besides by denying nothing but by publick professing of all the Jolly Lover hath the Liberty to Bow and Complement to meet and chatt with her without the least suspicion whereas these Privileges are deny'd to Privateers in Love It hath been observ'd That where there hath not been glowing the least spark of Love there hath broken out the whole Element of that Passion which was only kindled by a bare Report A common Bruit hath tickled so much the Fancy of some Women that they have been smitten by Hear-say Fame plays the part of an Amorous Courtier whose Rhetorick is more prevalent than the melting Expressions of the most Passionate Gallant and she hath been more prosperous in wooing and hath kindled more Love than their Personal Addresses so that Rumours are so far from cooling the Fervours and Heats of Love as that they Fan the Embers and blow them up into a great Combustion IV. But how many Gallants always keep the Love and Favour of their Mistresses Certainly by the same means they first obtain'd it namely 1. By Pleasing them 2. By being Obsequious to them And 3. By offering no occasion of offence 'T is hard to advise in this case in regard those that are troubled with the Simples and are not very Judicious do fall into a thousand Errours which although they seem Light and Trivial perhaps to others yet do much exasperate and vex the Women Those Men are most obnoxious to them who are possess'd with greater Ravings of Love than others who as often as they meet their Adored-She do break out into such Extremities of Grief and Sorrow as that they are always expressing it with the odd solemnities of wringed hands and shaken Noddles of wreath-Chops and Antick Grimaces who require such strange and difficult Things that they are render'd Contemptible and Odious even by their clinging Importunity Others unjustly Jealous are so severe against those they suspect that they will not allow their Ladies so much as to speak and look or leer upon them By which Madness and Folly they do not only incense the Women but make them twitter after those whom before they minded not That Fear that Firks nay Torments a man's Soul lest his Mistress should twine about the Limbs or mingle with the Embraces of another Man I say that Fear doth insinuate that his Person is more Vertuous and more Deserving than himself is And the more he doth Detract from another the less he 's Believ'd by his Mistress though he speaks Truth Nay she conceives a greater Opinion of his worth and thinks within her self that the Gentleman's charms are the more Attractive V. Let our Suiter therefore have a care that