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A97190 An essay on grief: with the causes and remedies of it R. W. 1695 (1695) Wing W91A; ESTC R232331 41,961 234

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Readiness that GOD Commands the Duty But although the Joys of the Mind are confessedly greater than those of the Body yet while they are thus united they must always partake together in the Enjoyment of an Object that 's Dear to them because their Joy can never be compleat or satisfying unless they both agree in the same Inclinations as is apparent in a great many sensual Delights which are attended with stings and gripes of Conscience because the Inward Dictates of Reason and Religion contradict them and whisper to us their unlawfulness so neither can they separate their common Sorrow for the loss of that which was an equal Satisfaction to Both. And hereupon it is that Joy and Sorrow are sometimes so very Affecting that there are several who have fainted and sunk away under Both. They are no better able to bear a sudden Surprize of Joy than they can moderate their Passions under an unlookt for Calamity Both over-power their Spirits and they prove too weak to bear up against them All which seem to concur in the Convincing us that the Soul is capable of Greater Joy and Sorrow than the Body is able to bear since this often faints away with an Excess of either and may also be of use to demonstrate to us that our Souls were designed for another State besides this since the Body in that Frame especially which it now is cannot come up to that Perfection which the Soul is endued with Thus have I shown what Grief is and wherein it consists I shall now search into the different Causes that produce it in the Minds of Men. And then I shall endeavour to offer some Preservatives and Helps against it whereby we may be able to regulate it prevent the Excesses of it and confine it within the limits of Reason and Religion If we take these for our Guides in all our Actions we shall be patient and content in all Conditions we shall neither ground our Hopes or Fears Joys or Sorrows on Uncertainties but shall at last find to our unspeakable Satisfactions that they will both conspire together in Leading us to the same End the Perfection of our Nature and the full and entire Possession of all Happiness But here it may be Objected that there are so many Miseries of Life such frequent and unthought of Dangers and Calamities which are continually thronging in upon us and which make this State uneasy and uncomfortable to us that it would be a Vain Attempt to think of Obtaining an absolute Conquest over them and preventing their being an Impediment to us in our Way to Happiness To this it may be answer'd That'tis our Weakness and Cowardice in resisting that makes these Enemies so formidable to us A vigorous Opposition would soon make them appear less Terrible The greatest Danger and Difficulty is in the first Encounter If we can withstand that Couragiously the Event must necessarily prove successful to us For all the Forces that these Enemies have are purely owing to our own Opinion and as that changes so will those disappear The Victory depends upon our own Will and Pleasure and if we have Resolution enough to Conquer we shall never want Force and Strength to do it And certainly that Happiness which this Victory will make us Masters of ought to engage us in the pursuit after it notwithstanding all the Dangers that may threaten us in the way to it Methinks a Comfortable and Contented Life such as every Reflection upon may create new Pleasure and Delight in us and at last a peaceable serene and chearful Death with a joyful Prospect of another Life is a Happiness that ought to be purchas'd at any Rate though at the first there may appear some Difficulties to encounter Miseries to undergo and Evils to suffer before we can arrive at the Possession of it But besides it may be Objected that there are some that never feel Miseries and have no Disappointmeents to grieve at and therefore Grief is not so General as we Imagine or at least the only Preservative against it is to follow the Examples of these Men who are never sensible of it To this I can only say That this Treatise was not designed for such For it would be a vain Endeavour to go about to perswade the Senceless Stupid and Unthinking that there is such a thing as Sorrow These know no Happiness beyond themselves their Thoughts are few and confin'd to a very narrow Compass They have no Joy or Sorrow but what some sudden and undesign'd change of Countenance draws from them and this perhaps without their own Knowledge or Observation To such as these it would be in vain to talk of Reason unless we could first make them understand what it is to-be Men. But if any One shall still urge that these are Happy I can only answer that Happiness would be a very mean Enjoyment if we should not be sensible of it For I think a rational Being can partake of no real Happiness but what by just and unprejudic'd Reason it finds to be so I suppose I may therefore pass on to shew the Causes of Grief and seek out wiser Methods for securing our selves against it than these Men take up with OF The CAUSES of GRIEF THe shortness of Man's Life in General as well as the Deaths of those who are most Dear to us is become the subject of our daily Complaint And yet was Man to live here for ever and be liable to the same Calamities Troubles and Vexations which even the Best of Men now labour under we should esteem it the Greatest of Miseries Every day brings some disquiet along with it and if we are so happy as to get rid of that we yet find still more Troubles that oppress us and a new succession of Grievances to complain of Every little Disappointment disturbs us and we can scarce get one minute of Ease before innumerable unthought of Calamities come thronging in upon us We can promise our selves Security in nothing that we Enjoy nor Certainty in any thing that we hope for When we imagine we are surrounded with nothing but the Comforts and Pleasures of Life a little Enlargment of Thought discovers to us that our Joys are not without a great mixture of Uneasiness We find our selves encompassed with Dangers and Disturbances which we must always be afraid of obnoxious to Infirmities which we can neither prevent nor redress subject to Wants which we cannot supply and liable to Fears which we are unable to provide against Jealousies Cares and Anxieties are the necessary Companions of all that we can here call our own Whilst we promise our selves an Age of Happiness in the fruition of something that is Dear to us the Fears that we find in our selves left we should be deprived of it will be often interrupting our Delights and so far prevail upon our Thoughts as to sink our Spirits and pall even our sweetest Pleasures in the very Enjoyment Had we nothing but
of the Age in some unlawful Practices that we might not be thought Morose and Uncivil yet those false Pretences will then appear very insufficient to support us under the Terrors and Apprehensions of a troubled Mind I should now come to consider the Miseries and Infirmities of Old Age. But these are so manifestly Great so universally Acknowledg'd and fall so commonly under every One's Observation that a Description of them would be only superfluous and unnecessary If to be Infirm Feeble and Helpless to be always in Wants and yet unable to administer to their own Necessities if to labour under a continual Conflux of Distempers without any prospect of Cure if to be always in Pain without any hopes of Remedy is to be Unhappy then certainly these Men above all Others must be confest to be so Yet they have this Advantage above any other part of Man's Life to comfort themselves with that being Free and at Liberty from the noise and hurry of Business and no way distracted with the tumultuous and troublesome Cares of Life their Minds are more at leisure to enjoy themselves with the happy Contemplations of their Future State The Pleasures of the Body are no longer a Snare to them and like Men depriv'd of Sight who have their Understanding more strong and vigorous by abstracting it from the Objects of Sense their Souls are no longer in Danger of being drawn away to the Gratification of the Sensual Appetite They have a clearer and more perspicuous Knowledge of Things and their long Experience of the World has taught them to prize every thing according to its Just Estimate There is no Age says Seneca better adapted to Vertue than that which comes by many Experiences and Long-sufferings to the knowledge of it for our Lusts are then weak and our Judgment strong and Wisdom is the Effect of Time They have learnt that to know themselves is the best Philosophy that an Intimate Acquaintance with their own Souls is the truest Happiness and as they have a nearer View of another Life so are they more ravisht with the Prospect of it and their Hopes and Expectations grow more lively and affecting It must be confest that where these Supports of a good Conscience are wanting there Men are more Miserable in this Age than in all others for in other parts of man's Life the Fear of Punishment is not so prevalent because it seems at a greater distance and therefore does not so much disturb and torment the mind in its Sensual Enjoyment with the thoughts of it but here the Soul is in continual Anguish the Body shaking and tottering ready every minute to crumble into Dust the Soul amazed stands upon a dreadful Precipice fearing the next moment to sink into the Bottomless Hell Now every Reflection that a Bad man makes is only a new Addition to his misery and every serious Thought is only a fresh Torment to him All the Outward Pleasures which he promised himself Support from begin to fail him and he has no Comfort within to flee to If he looks backward he can find nothing that can give him Satisfaction and if forward nothing but Despair All that he can expect is either to be for ever miserable or to become nothing The Fear of the One perswades him to hope for the Other not that he can convince himself by reason to believe it but only that he has Reason enough to wish it might be so For a Prospect of Misery will put a Man upon a thousand Shifts and Evasions whereby to escape it and he is apt to take up with the least shadow or appearance of Reason if he can thereby obtain any Interval of Ease For the Extremity of Fear as of all other Passions puts the Soul into such Disorder and Confusion that it endeavours by all means to be releas'd from the Torments of it and if it can procure one minute of Ease it takes not time to consider the Reasonableness of the means and measures that obtain'd But let us suppose a Man had some Rational grounds to believe that hereafter he should not Be yet that Belief could be no real Satisfaction to him For if he placed his Pleasures in the things of Sense and the Enjoyments of them and if every Reflection upon them was pleasing to him it must necessarily follow that the Thoughts and Fears of being depriv'd of them must be very uneasy to him For 't is natural for us to Grieve at the loss of what we love or if we are separated from what we Admire But if a Man takes no satisfaction in the things of Life and is grown weary of them the Hopes of Annihilation can be no great Pleasure to him because they are Out-balanced by the Miseries of Life For if they were not he would endeavour to live long in the Enjoyment of a Hope and Expectation which after Death he can no longer be sensible of It is certainly more Desirable not to be at all than to be for ever Miserable but 't is Rational also to ground my Belief of what shall be hereafter upon the most solid and certain Reasons to consider which is most likely to be true and which side its most dangerous to Err on and to take care lest Passion Prejudice or Interest should mislead or deceive me with a naked Appearance instead of Truth As the Thoughts upon what is past and to come are the Causes of Misery to the Bad so do they bring great Pleasure and Satisfaction to the Good Their Expectation of Happiness to come bears them up under all Afflictions here and a Reflection on their former Life gives them a full assurance that their Expectation is firm and certain Tho they have Imperfections to grieve at and many Troubles to encounter with yet they are fully perswaded that their Imperfect State here will be advanced to a full Completion of Happiness hereafter Had a good Man nothing to expect beyond the Grave his Condition would be certainly most Miserable Not but that there are more Pleasures and more lasting Satisfactions in the Practice of Vertue than that of Vice yet as they are greater so the Thoughts of being for ever deprived of them would be more insupportable The Imperfect State that we are now in shews that our Nature desires something more compleat And as a Good Man who gives himself more Liberty in the free Exercise of his Reason and conversing with the Nature of Things finds that Vertue considering the unavoidable Imperfections Hindrances and Infirmities that Life is ensnared with can never be here compleatly perfect and consequently not it s own Reward so should he be convinced that he should be frustrated of those Desires he finds in his Soul to Immortality the Remainder of his Life would be uncomfortable and the Pleasures of Vertue altogether unsatisfactory Had I no other Reasons to convince me that I shall Exist hereafter as I think I have innumerable yet that very Antipathy which I find