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and_o to_o pass_v away_o the_o time_n but_o to_o the_o end_n of_o form_v his_o own_o life_n according_a to_o those_o great_a model_n and_o of_o corroborate_n his_o holy_a resolution_n nor_o do_v he_o only_o read_v they_o but_o he_o make_v they_o the_o subject_n of_o his_o meditation_n and_o write_v down_o what_o he_o find_v most_o sensible_o to_o affect_v he_o it_o be_v far_a say_v of_o he_o that_o have_v learned_a in_o his_o youth_n to_o design_n he_o take_v delight_n with_o crayon_n of_o several_a colour_n to_o draw_v the_o most_o signal_n action_n of_o the_o saint_n and_o to_o write_v down_o their_o remarkable_a say_n to_o the_o intent_n of_o print_v they_o deep_a in_o his_o memory_n whilst_o he_o be_v thus_o employ_v the_o great_a truth_n of_o christianity_n take_v such_o deep_a root_n in_o he_o that_o he_o himself_o be_v astonish_v at_o his_o own_o transformation_n into_o another_o man_n so_o that_o the_o conversion_n of_o ignatius_n be_v finish_v and_o bring_v to_o perfection_n 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praise_v the_o good_a quality_n that_o nature_n have_v bestow_v upon_o he_o and_o above_o all_o his_o warlike_a genius_n which_o from_o his_o childhood_n have_v make_v he_o embrace_v the_o profession_n of_o arm_n and_o the_o maturity_n of_o his_o judgement_n which_o appear_v so_o early_o in_o his_o conduct_n after_o this_o he_o conjure_v he_o not_o to_o give_v way_n to_o his_o melancholy_a distemper_n nor_o rash_o to_o run_v upon_o any_o extravagant_a course_n he_o say_v to_o he_o you_o have_v gain_v no_o little_a glory_n at_o the_o siege_n of_o pampelona_n and_o you_o be_v now_o reckon_v among_o the_o most_o illustrious_a warrior_n of_o spain_n do_v not_o destroy_v your_o own_o reputation_n nor_o dishonour_v your_o family_n by_o a_o folly_n unworthy_a of_o your_o name_n at_o least_o hide_v not_o from_o i_o those_o thought_n with_o which_o of_o late_o you_o be_v so_o fill_v and_o alter_v and_o put_v confidence_n in_o a_o brother_n who_o tender_o love_v you_o when_o god_n speak_v 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kingdom_n but_o that_o many_o remain_v after_o the_o conquest_n of_o granada_n that_o prince_n be_v decease_v some_o relic_n of_o those_o infidel_n be_v scatter_v even_o in_o the_o kingdom_n of_o valentia_n and_o arragon_n one_o of_o these_o mahometan_a moor_n happen_v to_o join_v ignatius_n on_o the_o road_n and_o as_o traveller_n common_o ask_v question_n of_o the_o place_n from_o whence_o and_o whither_o they_o come_v and_o go_v montserrat_n be_v name_v they_o fall_v into_o argument_n about_o the_o immaculate_a purity_n of_o the_o bless_a virgin_n the_o moor_n agree_v that_o till_o the_o birth_n of_o christ_n mary_n preserve_v her_o virginity_n but_o he_o maintain_v that_o when_o she_o become_v a_o mother_n she_o cease_v to_o be_v a_o virgin_n ignatius_n can_v not_o hear_v this_o blasphemy_n without_o horror_n he_o take_v great_a pain_n to_o disabuse_v the_o moor_n and_o his_o devotion_n instruct_v he_o with_o reason_n far_o surpass_v the_o capacity_n of_o a_o soldier_n but_o his_o argument_n be_v lose_v upon_o the_o infidel_n who_o understanding_n be_v poison_v and_o prepossess_v against_o christian_a truth_n the_o moor_n slight_v his_o reason_n and_o fall_v to_o railly_fw-fr he_o religion_n but_o perceive_v that_o his_o raileries_n begin_v to_o stir_v the_o choler_n of_o ignatius_n and_o judge_v by_o his_o physiognomy_n that_o he_o will_v take_v his_o satisfaction_n not_o in_o word_n only_o the_o infidel_n very_o wise_o set_v spur_n to_o his_o horse_n and_o make_v his_o way_n with_o all_o the_o speed_n he_o can_v ignatius_n transport_v both_o with_o anger_n and_o zeal_n be_v in_o doubt_n with_o himself_o whether_o his_o faith_n do_v not_o oblige_v he_o to_o revenge_v the_o honour_n of_o the_o bless_a virgin_n by_o the_o death_n of_o the_o mahometan_a nor_o be_v we_o much_o to_o wonder_n that_o such_o a_o doubt_n shall_v come_v into_o the_o head_n of_o a_o man_n bring_v up_o in_o arm_n accustom_a to_o combat_n and_o but_o little_o instruct_v in_o the_o rule_n of_o conscience_n not_o be_v able_a to_o resolve_v his_o doubt_n and_o fear_v on_o the_o other_o side_n to_o be_v want_v in_o his_o duty_n he_o resolve_v at_o least_o to_o follow_v the_o moor_n and_o then_o to_o do_v what_o god_n shall_v inspire_v he_o thus_o ride_v on_o he_o come_v where_o the_o road_n part_v one_o way_n lead_v to_o montserrat_n and_o the_o other_o to_o a_o village_n whither_o the_o moor_n be_v go_v he_o stop_v short_a with_o his_o horse_n and_o resolve_v on_o the_o sudden_a to_o leave_v himself_o to_o the_o guidance_n of_o his_o beast_n which_o of_o the_o way_n to_o take_v purpose_v to_o kill_v the_o moor_n if_o providence_n direct_v his_o horse_n that_o way_n which_o lead_v to_o the_o village_n consequent_o he_o slacken_v his_o reins_o and_o although_o the_o road_n to_o the_o village_n be_v very_o plain_a and_o wide_a the_o horse_n of_o his_o own_o accord_n take_v the_o other_o lead_v to_o montserrat_n which_o be_v both_o narrow_a and_o rugged_a whereupon_o ignatius_n conclude_v that_o god_n do_v not_o require_v at_o his_o hand_n that_o he_o shall_v revenge_v the_o blasphemy_n of_o the_o moor._n be_v come_v to_o the_o village_n lie_v at_o the_o foot_n of_o a_o mountain_n on_o which_o stand_v the_o monastery_n of_o montserrat_n he_o buy_v for_o his_o voyage_n of_o jerusalem_n a_o long_a coat_n of_o course_n cloth_n a_o girdle_n a_o pair_n of_o sandal_n with_o a_o pilgrim_n staff_n and_o a_o wallet_n this_o equipage_n of_o a_o pilgrim_n he_o take_v along_o with_o he_o up_o to_o the_o monastery_n where_o his_o first_o thought_n be_v to_o begin_v the_o reformation_n of_o his_o life_n by_o a_o general_a confession_n of_o all_o his_o sin_n though_o at_o that_o time_n such_o confession_n be_v not_o much_o in_o use_n for_o the_o well_o perform_v so_o important_a a_o action_n he_o make_v it_o his_o business_n to_o find_v out_o some_o very_a able_a spiritual_a director_n to_o instruct_v he_o in_o the_o duty_n of_o a_o penitent_a and_o to_o set_v 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he_o have_v be_v a_o stupid_a idiot_n but_o rejoice_v in_o his_o heart_n that_o he_o have_v his_o share_n in_o the_o reproach_n of_o the_o cross_n the_o devil_n can_v not_o endure_v these_o christian_a sentiment_n in_o a_o man_n natural_o haughty_a and_o who_o be_v but_o a_o beginner_n in_o the_o service_n of_o god_n therefore_o he_o take_v his_o time_n to_o tempt_v he_o with_o such_o thought_n as_o these_o what_o do_v you_o do_v in_o a_o hospital_n heaven_n who_o have_v bestow_v upon_o you_o a_o noble_a extraction_n and_o generous_a inclination_n will_v have_v you_o to_o be_v a_o holy_a cavalier_n not_o a_o counterfeit_a beggar_n be_v you_o at_o court_n or_o in_o the_o army_n your_o example_n alone_o will_v reform_v all_o the_o courier_n and_o the_o soldier_n at_o the_o same_o time_n the_o nastiness_n of_o the_o hospital_n grow_v strange_o noisome_a and_o disgustful_a to_o he_o and_o he_o feel_v a_o inward_a shame_n to_o see_v himself_o in_o the_o company_n of_o beggar_n but_o he_o 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perfect_a tranquillity_n he_o often_o taste_v that_o heal_a joy_n which_o the_o holy_a ghost_n do_v usual_o pour_v into_o the_o soul_n of_o new_o convert_v sinner_n so_o to_o give_v they_o a_o disgust_n of_o the_o pleasure_n of_o the_o world_n and_o to_o sweeten_v to_o they_o the_o labour_n of_o penance_n this_o interior_a calm_n and_o these_o spiritual_a joy_n be_v now_o take_v from_o he_o insomuch_o that_o in_o the_o time_n of_o his_o prayer_n and_o in_o his_o mortification_n he_o find_v nothing_o but_o anxiety_n and_o dryness_n sometime_o it_o be_v true_a serenity_n of_o mind_n all_o on_o the_o sudden_a will_v return_v and_o with_o such_o a_o flood_n of_o consolation_n that_o he_o be_v even_o overwhelm_v and_o transport_v out_o of_o himself_o but_o these_o delicious_a moment_n have_v no_o continuance_n and_o he_o find_v himself_o often_o as_o it_o be_v precipitate_v from_o a_o illuminate_v state_n into_o desolation_n and_o darkness_n have_v not_o have_v any_o experience_n of_o 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scholar_n and_o he_o say_v after_o his_o retirement_n that_o the_o divinity_n which_o he_o have_v learn_v at_o monte-cassino_a in_o the_o space_n of_o forty_o day_n be_v incomparable_o better_a than_o that_o which_o he_o have_v teach_v in_o so_o many_o year_n he_o say_v also_o there_o be_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o difference_n between_o study_v to_o instruct_v other_o and_o study_v to_o perfect_a one_o self_n that_o in_o the_o first_o we_o only_o design_v to_o make_v ourselves_o able_a man_n in_o the_o second_o to_o become_v saint_n in_o conclusion_n he_o more_o value_v one_o single_a notion_n gain_v in_o his_o solitude_n than_o all_o the_o curious_a speculation_n of_o humane_a science_n in_o this_o while_n xaverius_n and_o bobadilla_n be_v employ_v in_o bologna_n about_o save_v of_o soul_n le_fw-fr jay_n and_o rodriguez_n be_v at_o the_o same_o work_n in_o ferara_n pasquier_n and_o salmeron_n in_o sienna_n codurus_n and_o hozez_n in_o milan_n from_o venice_n their_o reputation_n be_v every_o where_o spread_v about_o and_o the_o marchioness_n of_o pescara_n be_v at_o ferara_n desire_v to_o be_v acquaint_v with_o the_o two_o who_o labour_v there_o meet_v one_o of_o they_o by_o accident_n she_o ask_v if_o he_o be_v not_o one_o of_o those_o priest_n come_v into_o italy_n to_o go_v into_o the_o holy_a land_n and_o where_o he_o lodge_v she_o be_v inform_v by_o he_o that_o their_o journey_n to_o jerusalem_n be_v disappoint_v and_o that_o they_o lodge_v in_o the_o hospital_n she_o go_v thither_o the_o very_a same_o day_n but_o before_o she_o call_v for_o they_o she_o inquire_v in_o what_o manner_n they_o live_v she_o be_v tell_v that_o they_o be_v great_a saint_n that_o they_o spend_v part_n of_o the_o night_n in_o prayer_n and_o in_o say_v their_o office_n together_o that_o every_o day_n they_o beg_v their_o bread_n about_o the_o town_n and_o will_v not_o eat_v in_o the_o hospital_n what_o belong_v to_o the_o poor_a that_o as_o thin_a clad_v as_o they_o be_v they_o 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the_o soul_n of_o st._n germanus_n bishop_n of_o milan_n carry_v by_o angel_n into_o paradise_n as_o it_o be_v relate_v by_o st._n gregory_n ignatius_n have_v the_o same_o vision_n more_o than_o once_o for_o be_v one_o day_n hear_v mass_n at_o those_o word_n of_o the_o confiteor_fw-la et_fw-la omnibus_fw-la sanctis_fw-la he_o see_v heaven_n open_v and_o among_o the_o numerous_a troop_n of_o the_o bless_a his_o companion_n more_o resplendent_a than_o the_o rest_n not_o that_o he_o be_v more_o holy_a or_o more_o elevate_v in_o glory_n but_o because_o god_n as_o ignatius_n himself_o observe_v will_v have_v he_o so_o distinguish_v that_o he_o may_v take_v notice_n of_o he_o this_o vision_n so_o wrought_v upon_o he_o that_o he_o weep_v for_o many_o day_n together_o and_o that_o which_o make_v it_o appear_v that_o it_o be_v no_o illusion_n