on_o his_o own_o term_n to_o save_v i_o from_o my_o sin_n to_o sanctisie_n i_o by_o his_o word_n and_o spirit_n to_o rule_v i_o by_o his_o law_n and_o so_o to_o justisie_n and_o save_v i_o from_o gild_n and_o punishment_n for_o ever_o i_o have_v be_v and_o be_o great_o trouble_v that_o i_o do_v not_o early_o return_v unto_o god_n the_o sin_n of_o my_o youth_n and_o my_o relapse_n since_o be_v the_o grief_n of_o my_o soul_n which_o i_o will_v wash_v away_o if_o possible_a with_o my_o own_o blood_n it_o cut_v my_o heart_n that_o i_o forsake_v they_o no_o soon_o and_o that_o my_o follow_a life_n have_v not_o be_v more_o fruitful_a yet_o i_o hope_v i_o have_v be_v and_o be_o sincere_a keep_v myself_o through_o grace_n from_o my_o own_o iniquity_n and_o live_v in_o the_o practice_n of_o the_o contrary_a duty_n i_o be_o hearty_o willing_a to_o comply_v with_o god_n in_o all_o thing_n and_o to_o live_v in_o the_o daily_a practice_n of_o all_o those_o holy_a heavenly_a spiritual_a duty_n of_o heart_n and_o life_n which_o my_o god_n require_v i_o be_o very_o sorry_a that_o i_o perform_v they_o no_o better_o and_o yet_o i_o hope_v i_o be_o not_o defile_v with_o great_a or_o reign_a sin_n but_o be_o prevail_o and_o faithful_a servant_n i_o long_o for_o nothing_o more_o than_o nothing_o so_o much_o as_o more_o fixedness_n of_o mind_n on_o god_n more_o constanoy_n cheerfulness_n and_o success_n in_o his_o bless_a service_n i_o unfeigned_o desire_v and_o through_o divine_a assistance_n resolve_v to_o persevere_v and_o grow_v still_o better_o notwithstanding_o all_o difficulty_n and_o against_o all_o temptation_n to_o think_v of_o and_o act_n according_a to_o matth._n 10.37_o 38_o etc._n etc._n and_o luke_n 14.26_o 33._o that_o whatever_o it_o cost_v i_o will_v so_o run_v that_o i_o may_v obtain_v the_o crown_n forget_v those_o thing_n that_o be_v behind_o and_o press_v forward_o towards_o the_o mark_n for_o the_o price_n of_o our_o high_a call_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n jesus_n but_o thou_o o_o lord_n forsake_v not_o i_o that_o i_o forsake_v not_o thou_o i_o be_o in_o love_n with_o that_o love_n which_o our_o lord_n set_v we_o such_o a_o example_n of_o and_o make_v the_o distinguish_a character_n of_o his_o disciple_n my_o charity_n i_o think_v be_v large_a and_o extensive_a according_a to_o his_o will_n but_o especial_o i_o have_v love_v and_o do_v love_v all_o good_a man_n as_o such_o prevail_o they_o be_v to_o i_o the_o excellent_a of_o the_o earth_n in_o who_o as_o to_o man_n be_v all_o my_o delight_n the_o divine_a image_n affect_v and_o draw_v i_o wherever_o i_o find_v it_o notwithstanding_o difference_n in_o little_a thing_n and_o my_o love_n be_v real_a and_o fruitful_a according_a to_o my_o ability_n my_o heart_n and_o hand_n be_v open_a as_o object_n and_o occasion_n offer_v i_o have_v be_v and_o be_o very_o careful_a to_o wrong_v none_o have_v long_o since_o right_v those_o i_o do_v i_o have_v soon_o forgive_v when_o provoke_v yea_o seldom_o very_o seldom_o retain_v any_o grudge_n against_o any_o i_o have_v return_v good_a for_o evil_a where_o i_o deserve_v well_o and_o yet_o suffer_v much_o ill_n and_o where_o i_o have_v deliberate_o refuse_v to_o comply_v with_o any_o it_o be_v because_o i_o think_v it_o my_o duty_n for_o their_o good_a i_o have_v be_v watchful_a self_n shall_v not_o prevail_v under_o shadow_n of_o be_v concern_v for_o god_n i_o have_v no_o enemy_n who_o i_o do_v not_o hearty_o pray_v for_o and_o be_o not_o ready_a to_o do_v good_a to_o praise_v be_v god_n these_o duty_n of_o love_v give_v and_o forgive_a be_v not_o and_o be_v not_o difficult_a i_o have_v be_v affect_v and_o desire_v to_o be_v more_o with_o the_o condition_n of_o the_o church_n of_o god_n the_o suffering_n of_o so_o great_a a_o part_n thereof_o and_o especial_o the_o sin_n that_o deserve_v they_o my_o prayer_n have_v be_v and_o be_v that_o god_n will_v refine_v and_o not_o destroy_v that_o he_o will_v diffuse_v that_o wisdom_n from_o above_o which_o be_v pure_a and_o peaceable_a that_o he_o will_v revive_v the_o power_n of_o godliness_n humble_v the_o guilty_a of_o our_o division_n and_o unite_n in_o christian_a catholic_n love_n i_o have_v conscientious_o consider_v my_o duty_n to_o the_o magistrate_n and_o according_o have_v be_v careful_a to_o obey_v all_o his_o law_n unless_o contrary_a to_o the_o law_n of_o god_n and_o i_o think_v it_o become_v i_o to_o understand_v his_o will_v not_o in_o the_o worst_a but_o in_o the_o best_a sense_n his_o word_n will_v bear_v remember_v that_o a_o err_a conscience_n will_v not_o clear_v i_o if_o i_o disobey_v any_o lawful_a command_n i_o have_v be_v little_a inquisitive_a about_o the_o magistrate_n duty_n but_o careful_a to_o know_v my_o own_o my_o enquiry_n be_v not_o whether_o he_o do_v well_o to_o command_v but_o whether_o i_o may_v lawful_o obey_v though_o he_o impose_v unnecessary_a burden_n beyond_o his_o authority_n which_o be_v for_o public_a good_a yet_o compliance_n may_v be_v my_o duty_n from_o humility_n love_n to_o peace_n and_o that_o i_o may_v not_o offend_v but_o respect_n god_n vicegerent_n i_o have_v consider_v the_o veneration_n due_a to_o those_o in_o authority_n by_o reason_n thereof_o however_o they_o be_v otherwise_o defective_a and_o the_o subjection_n that_o must_v be_v ever_o continue_v though_o the_o law_n of_o god_n forbid_v obedience_n and_o according_o resolve_v never_o to_o partake_v in_o rebellion_n though_o for_o the_o best_a religion_n and_o most_o valuable_a liberty_n but_o to_o be_v still_o subject_a not_o only_o for_o wrath_n but_o for_o conscience-sake_n i_o have_v often_o frequent_v the_o public_a authorize_v assembly_n and_o join_v in_o the_o establish_a way_n of_o worship_n not_o to_o avoid_v civil_a or_o ecclesiastical_a censure_n not_o for_o any_o worldly_a interest_n but_o from_o sense_n of_o duty_n and_o a_o just_a persuasion_n after_o many_o thought_n and_o prayer_n in_o which_o i_o be_o still_o more_o confirm_v that_o i_o be_v more_o oblige_v to_o do_v so_o by_o the_o law_n of_o god_n and_o abundant_o warrant_v by_o the_o example_n of_o our_o saviour_n and_o his_o apostle_n i_o have_v be_v still_o more_o confident_a as_o i_o consider_v the_o state_n and_o practice_n of_o the_o primitive_a and_o other_o church_n and_o look_v i_o think_v impartial_o into_o what_o be_v oppose_v by_o divider_n praise_v be_v god_n i_o be_o still_o well_o satisfy_v that_o i_o be_o not_o involve_v into_o so_o much_o as_o any_o consent_n to_o sin_n i_o reflect_v with_o comfort_n on_o my_o moderation_n about_o small_a or_o doubtful_a matter_n and_o on_o my_o warmth_n against_o the_o antichristian_a spirit_n of_o vncharitableness_n hatred_n rage_n and_o malice_n i_o admire_v god_n infinite_a goodness_n in_o the_o way_n of_o salvation_n and_o be_o great_o trouble_v that_o i_o be_o no_o more_o affect_v with_o the_o amaze_a mercy_n and_o benignity_n of_o my_o heavenly_a father_n with_o the_o stupendous_a charity_n condescension_n and_o suffering_n of_o the_o son_n and_o with_o the_o wonderful_a patience_n long-suffering_a and_o kindnoss_n of_o the_o holy_a spirit_n i_o desire_v and_o long_o to_o know_v and_o love_n admire_v and_o praise_v speak_v and_o act_v more_o and_o more_o to_o the_o utmost_a of_o my_o power_n for_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o incomprehensible_a trinity_n which_o have_v so_o condescend_v to_o save_o such_o a_o abominable_a wretched_a creature_n i_o find_v it_o most_o difficult_a to_o get_v and_o keep_v a_o heavenly_a frame_n without_o distraction_n i_o be_o oft_o discompose_v by_o worldly_a concern_v vex_v by_o the_o sin_n and_o weakness_n of_o other_o and_o too_o easy_o divert_v from_o my_o study_n meditation_n and_o prayer_n by_o vain_a impertinent_a unsuitable_a and_o unseasonable_a thought_n i_o labour_v and_o groan_v under_o they_o as_o my_o great_a burden_n and_o sin_n and_o strive_v alas_o too_o ineffectual_o against_o they_o what_o will_v i_o give_v yea_o what_o will_v i_o not_o give_v do_v or_o suffer_v that_o my_o soul_n be_v fix_v on_o god_n that_o i_o can_v serve_v he_o without_o distraction_n that_o my_o study_n meditation_n and_o converse_v with_o god_n in_o his_o word_n prayer_n and_o praise_v be_v more_o free_a from_o wander_v more_o affectionate_a spiritual_a and_o heavenly_a yet_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o long_o and_o desire_v to_o labour_v more_o effectual_o that_o god_n may_v sill_z and_o possess_v my_o soul_n that_o his_o holy_a enjoy_n service_n the_o perfect_a happiness_n of_o heaven_n may_v be_v more_o and_o more_o begin_v on_o earth_n i_o value_v and_o breath_n after_o the_o divine_a image_n as_o the_o great_a good_a esteem_v and_o desire_v to_o be_v rid_v of_o sin_n as_o the_o great_a evil_n and_o heaven_n be_v therefore_o most_o amiable_a because_o there_o i_o hope_v
have_v not_o be_v so_o constant_a nor_o my_o converse_n so_o useful_a as_o it_o shall_v lesle_n prositable_a discourse_n and_o book_n have_v take_v up_o too_o much_o time_n i_o be_o not_o prepare_v as_o i_o will_v for_o the_o lord's-day_n approach_v i_o need_v and_o beg_v pardon_n that_o i_o delight_v no_o more_o in_o the_o more_o spiritual_a heaqvenly_a duty_n and_o study_n and_o be_o as_o desirous_a o_o may_v i_o be_v as_o laborious_a to_o do_v better_a for_o etc._n etc._n brenchley_n aug._n 31._o i_o have_v not_o be_v what_o i_o will_v yet_o i_o hope_v i_o be_o in_o the_o way_n to_o be_v what_o i_o wish_v in_o heaven_n o_o may_v i_o be_v much_o better_a on_o earth_n to_o morrow_n i_o design_v to_o take_v a_o journey_n with_o my_o brother_n etc._n etc._n o_o may_v i_o be_v able_a to_o reflect_v with_o comfort_n at_o my_o return_n on_o what_o i_o be_v and_o do_v sept._n 21._o god_n goodness_n accompany_v i_o in_o my_o journey_n shine_v in_o relation_n loveliness_n and_o love_n preserve_v my_o family_n and_o have_v bring_v we_o together_o in_o safety_n may_v all_o be_v crown_v with_o increase_n of_o holiness_n and_o fruitful_a gratitude_n etc._n etc._n octob._n 16._o four_o fit_n of_o a_o tertian_n ague_n have_v much_o weaken_a and_o iudispose_v i_o god_n then_o take_v it_o off_o and_o i_o seem_v recover_v my_o former_a state_n of_o health_n i_o think_v of_o death_n with_o little_a or_o no_o fear_n and_o hope_v i_o shall_v have_v be_v happy_a if_o i_o have_v die_v though_o now_o my_o reflection_n be_v not_o so_o comfortable_a i_o have_v sometime_o think_v i_o be_v beyond_o what_o i_o write_v but_o now_o i_o be_o down_o again_o bodily_a indisposition_n dull_v i_o but_o why_o be_v not_o my_o soul_n more_o vigorous_a have_v i_o comply_v with_o the_o holy_a spirit_n and_o converse_v with_o god_n as_o i_o ought_v i_o may_v have_v have_v more_o of_o his_o comfort_v strengthen_v influence_n and_o help_n i_o desire_v to_o qualify_v myself_o for_o they_o by_o a_o far_o better_a improvement_n of_o all_o aid_n vouchsafe_v help_v heavenly_a father_n for_o thy_o son_n sake_n amen_n nou._n 8._o our_o seven_o son_n be_v baptise_a and_o name_v edmund_n may_v we_o and_o we_o be_v still_o more_o our_o god_n agnize_v his_o supreme_a right_n and_o live_v more_o in_o the_o lively_a sense_n and_o active_a acknowledgement_n thereof_o amen_n for_o etc._n etc._n decemb._n 11._o my_o god_n have_v continue_v to_o engage_v i_o by_o his_o kindness_n to_o my_o whole_a self_n and_o we_o and_o to_o our_o relation_n who_o be_v so_o pleasant_a and_o useful_a to_o we_o i_o have_v proceed_v in_o my_o course_n of_o duty_n but_o alas_o too_o heavy_o without_o such_o diligence_n life_n and_o cheerfulness_n as_o become_v so_o excellent_a a_o service_n i_o desire_v to_o be_v what_o i_o wish_v and_o to_o endeavour_v with_o all_o my_o might_n when_o shall_v i_o write_v that_o i_o be_o and_o do_v so_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o help_v myself_o and_o suffer_v i_o not_o to_o forfeit_v the_o aid_n thou_o vouchsafe_v may_v i_o improve_v '_o cm_o all_o with_o great_a watchfulness_n alacrity_n and_o success_n and_o may_v i_o do_v my_o utmost_a for_o all_o that_o i_o be_o concern_v to_o help_v for_o etc._n etc._n decem._n 31._o the_o 25_o i_o remember_v my_o saviour_n and_o renew_v my_o covenant_n at_o the_o holy_a table_n and_o before_o and_o after_o have_v take_v some_o pain_n in_o his_o service_n sincere_o i_o hope_v desire_v and_o endeavour_v to_o please_v he_o myself_o and_o to_o help_v other_o to_o join_v with_o yea_o exceed_v i_o may_v i_o still_o do_v better_o and_o in_o the_o revolution_n of_o time_n think_v more_o of_o and_o prepare_v better_o for_o eternity_n amen_n for_o etc._n etc._n brenchley_n jan._n 29._o 1687._o i_o hope_v i_o have_v be_v crawl_v upward_o though_o somewhat_o uneven_o and_o attempt_v to_o do_v good_a as_o i_o have_v occasion_n to_o converse_v with_o man_n and_o prepare_v myself_o at_o least_o sometime_o for_o visit_n that_o they_o may_v be_v useful_a and_o not_o as_o alas_o too_o often_o lose_v in_o impertinence_n many_o come_v and_o partake_v of_o what_o i_o customary_o do_v in_o my_o family_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n after_o public_a service_n i_o may_v not_o exclude_v they_o though_o uninvited_a i_o hope_v and_o pray_v and_o endeavour_v that_o god_n may_v honour_v i_o to_o do_v their_o soul_n some_o last_a good_a i_o be_o sensible_a of_o god_n goodness_n as_o to_o my_o private_a concern_v and_o public_a circumstance_n and_o desire_v heart_n and_o life_n may_v be_v answerable_a for_o my_o saviour_n sake_n amen_n i_o have_v be_v also_o disturb_v with_o the_o extreme_n of_o some_o censorious_a divider_n i_o have_v no_o enmity_n against_o the_o man_n but_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n approve_v their_o way_n nor_o concur_v as_o i_o be_o desire_v with_o '_o they_o apr._n 25._o 1687._o i_o have_v be_v do_v my_o duty_n to_o the_o weary_v and_o waste_v of_o my_o flesh_n i_o have_v be_v twice_o feast_v by_o my_o lord_n at_o his_o table_n i_o hope_v not_o without_o some_o advantage_n may_v 16._o the_o different_a opinion_n and_o especial_o the_o very_a indecent_a heat_n of_o good_a man_n to_o which_o the_o present_a liberty_n give_v vent_v be_v no_o small_a disturbance_n to_o i_o and_o july_n 2._o i_o desire_v to_o lay_v to_o heart_n the_o condition_n of_o the_o church_n of_o god_n the_o woeful_a neglect_n of_o christian_a love_n in_o all_o party_n and_o the_o strange_a furious_a heat_n that_o prey_n on_o the_o vital_a fervour_n of_o religion_n provoke_v god_n and_o threaten_v destruction_n pity_n and_o help_v o_o lord_n for_o vain_a be_v the_o help_n of_o man_n july_n 20._o speak_v of_o a_o very_a deep_a and_o cut_a affliction_n that_o have_v often_o return_v i_o be_o far_o from_o entertain_v hard_a thought_n of_o god_n i_o hearty_o submit_v to_o his_o sovereign_a pleasure_n i_o acknowledge_v his_o justice_n may_v be_v far_o severe_a and_o i_o be_o sensible_a of_o abundance_n of_o mercy_n and_o that_o i_o want_v thankfulness_n which_o i_o often_o beg_v of_o he_o i_o be_o still_o more_o consirm_v in_o the_o way_n of_o love_n that_o i_o have_v choose_v and_o abhor_v love-killing_a principle_n and_o practice_n in_o all_o party_n octob._n 6._o end_v the_o 44th_o year_n of_o my_o earthly_a pilgrimage_n i_o review_v what_o i_o write_v octob._n 7._o 1685._o and_o find_v my_o apprehension_n of_o my_o own_o condition_n much_o the_o same_o i_o have_v continue_v take_v pain_n in_o my_o study_n for_o the_o service_n of_o soul_n to_o the_o weary_v if_o not_o waste_v of_o the_o flesh_n yet_o my_o spirit_n have_v not_o attain_v the_o frame_n i_o wish_v impertinent_a thought_n wander_a imagination_n inordinate_a affection_n be_v my_o great_a and_o culpable_a trouble_n when_o shall_v i_o sin_v and_o be_v able_a to_o write_v better_o god_n grant_v that_o i_o may_v whatever_o i_o suffer_v for_o it_o decemb._n 31._o i_o have_v be_v much_o perplex_v between_o repeat_v message_n from_o hackney_n and_o other_o as_o unexpected_a from_o ashford_n and_o such_o consideration_n as_o reason_n and_o religion_n suggest_v about_o our_o design_a remove_n i_o be_v very_o faulty_a in_o suffer_v they_o to_o hinder_v in_o such_o a_o measure_n my_o converse_n with_o god_n and_o my_o comfort_n peace_n and_o joy_n therein_o that_o a_o sacramental_a communion_n 25_o afford_v so_o little_a sweetness_n and_o benefit_n that_o i_o receive_v no_o more_o from_o the_o infinite_a fountain_n ascend_v no_o high_a towards_o he_o and_o have_v not_o much_o large_a communication_n from_o he_o o_o lord_n forgive_v and_o help_v that_o my_o better_a obedience_n and_o far_a participation_n of_o a_o godlike_a nature_n may_v praise_v thy_o infinite_a benignity_n and_o sill_z my_o mouth_n and_o heart_n with_o a_o warm_a sense_n of_o all_o thy_o favour_n and_o with_o more_o suitable_a expression_n especial_o i_o pray_v that_o my_o thought_n may_v be_v content_v and_o labour_n fasten_v to_o present_a duty_n that_o without_o needless_a project_v for_o the_o future_a i_o may_v do_v what_o appear_v necessary_a now_o let_v the_o year_n that_o be_v now_o to_o begin_v be_v better_o improve_v than_o any_o past_a let_v i_o live_v as_o apprehend_v i_o may_v die_v before_o it_o end_v that_o if_o i_o shall_v survive_v it_o i_o may_v reflect_v how_o i_o sill_v it_o with_o god_n fruitful_a service_n and_o rejoice_v in_o hope_n that_o at_o length_n time_n will_v be_v end_v and_o therewith_o the_o too_o too_o many_o fail_n of_o my_o duty_n and_o comfort_n amen_n for_o my_o dear_a saviour_n sake_n trouble_n without_o and_o especial_o fail_n within_o have_v much_o indispose_v i_o for_o duty_n and_o the_o sweet_n thereof_o yet_o when_o late_o ill_a i_o have_v no_o great_a fear_n but_o can_v think_v
god_n by_o the_o labour_n of_o mr._n furnace_n note_v for_o piety_n and_o painfulness_n in_o those_o part_n by_o his_o godly_a humble_a conversation_n when_o his_o master_n a_o grocer_n in_o norwich_n fail_v he_o be_v recommend_v to_o two_o brother_n who_o name_n be_v cock_n of_o chief_a rank_n in_o that_o city_n who_o entrust_v he_o with_o the_o management_n of_o their_o trade_n in_o stuff_n at_o london_n he_o abundant_o answer_v their_o expectation_n and_o at_o length_n become_v their_o brother_n by_o marry_v the_o young_a of_o the_o three_o daughter_n of_o mr._n mowre_n a_o pious_a and_o prudent_a citizen_n of_o norwich_n and_o a_o partner_n in_o the_o considerable_a trade_n they_o drive_v the_o two_o elder_a be_v their_o wife_n before_o many_o year_n he_o enjoy_v a_o large_a portion_n of_o the_o divine_a blessing_n thrive_a in_o his_o outward_a estate_n love_v and_o honour_v by_o his_o fellow-servant_n rejoice_v in_o divers_a hopeful_a child_n and_o above_o all_o walk_v before_o 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of_o integrity_n and_o plain-heartedness_n of_o content_a and_o rejoice_v under_o heavy_a affliction_n of_o affectionate_a faithfulness_n in_o all_o his_o relation_n and_o of_o conscientious_a diligence_n in_o his_o particular_a call_v and_o he_o be_v a_o encourage_v instance_n of_o a_o divine_a blessing_n on_o such_o as_o seek_v first_o the_o kingdom_n of_o god_n and_o his_o righteousness_n and_o cast_v their_o care_n on_o he_o in_o well-doing_n his_o estate_n have_v be_v preserve_v and_o increase_v though_o great_a hazard_n and_o loss_n without_o worldly_a policy_n both_o lead_v and_o engage_v to_o earliness_n and_o constancy_n in_o god_n service_n secret_a private_a and_o public_a to_o a_o faithful_a discharge_n of_o every_o office_n of_o love_n to_o all_o they_o have_v to_o do_v with_o to_o a_o sober_a righteous_a and_o godly_a life_n in_o hope_n of_o a_o future_a satisfy_a everlasting_a felicity_n from_o such_o i_o enter_v on_o my_o earthly_a pilgrimage_n octob._n 6._o 1643._o about_o 5_o in_o the_o evening_n after_o my_o mother_n have_v be_v 3_o day_n in_o painful_a dangerous_a travail_n i_o be_v bear_v with_o a_o great_a wound_n in_o my_o head_n suppose_v by_o a_o blow_n of_o a_o great_a boss_v bible_n as_o my_o mother_n come_v out_o of_o church_n that_o be_v heal_v and_o afterward_o many_o disease_n and_o hurt_n in_o my_o childhood_n both_o thigh-bone_n dislocate_v together_o afterward_o a_o arm_n break_v well_o set_v no_o harm_n remain_v during_o my_o tender_a year_n i_o be_v my_o parent_n be_v immediate_a care_n in_o london_n and_o hackney_n from_o who_o and_o my_o good_a grandfather_n who_o diversion_n i_o often_o be_v i_o want_v not_o instruction_n example_n and_o encouragement_n and_o so_o far_o i_o seem_v to_o answer_v their_o endeavour_n that_o they_o delight_v much_o in_o i_o but_o i_o well_o remember_v and_o thou_o o_o lord_n much_o more_o abundance_n of_o wickedness_n i_o be_v guilty_a of_o disobedience_n to_o parent_n indulge_v my_o appetite_n 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