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A09201 A merry discourse of Meum, and Tuum, or, Mine and Thine tvvo crosse brothers, that make strife and debate wheresoever they come; vvith their descent, parentage, and late progresse in divers parts of England. By H.P. Peacham, Henry, 1576?-1643? 1639 (1639) STC 19510; ESTC S114329 20,111 44

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laugh at or pity him away then goes Tuum to the water side and taking a Boate leaves Meum to follow at his leasure The same night both meeting with either at Westminster they related their hard fortune professing never to come any more among Dogges and Beares but the Terme being at hand to keepe company with Lawyers and their Clients onely The Terme being come they now thought it best to acquaint themselves with some understanding Attorneys and Clerks of the Innes of Chancery who might aswell set them in a way to practise as to get them acquaintance and first they enquired for Lions Inne a Country Careier directed them to the Tower where the Lions were which when they had found they grew acquainted with many Students who were Cornish and Devonshire Gentlemen who when Meum and Tuum had related unto them their names whence they came and those various accidents that had befell them in their journey ever since they came from Wrangle made very much of them imagining they had beene great Students and very expert in the Lawes but being examined and throughly tried by a very honest Attorney of that house who wanted his sight he found them to be nothing else then incendiaries and make-bates in the Common wealth and wished them to live in the country and rather go make peace among their neighbours then set them at variance for we quoth he who are Attorneys if men would be quiet and agree among themselves would never intreate or sue for imployment from them but when as sutes by delay or neglect as wounds beginne to fester and gangrene then indeed we ought as Surgeons to doe our best to make an easie and speedy cure with many other good Adviso's which they little regarded but taking their leaves went to some houses I will not name where they found good respect and entertainment And finding some encouragement to Westminster they goe where looking about them they admired the largenes statelinesse of the Hall and above that the timber of the roofe having been there so long should be without Cobwebs perhaps quoth Tuum they are swept downe against the Terme quoth Meum thou art a foole all Kentstreete cannot afford a beesome so long a country man over hearing them answered the roofe was made of Irish timber which no Spider durst touch if there were any Cobwebs they were beneath about the Clarks and Notaries Seates which are seldome or never swept When they had sufficiently gazed about and observed as much as they could comming out with the Country man they viewed well the great dore of the Hall where they espied two Stags Couchand with Crownes about their necks and chaines thwart their backs they asked the reason of their being there the Country man said doubtlesse it was because so much Venison had beene eaten in that Hall when the Kings of England held their great feasts there Tuum thought rather they were some tame Deere because of their chaines but the truth is the Hall of Westminster was built anew by K. Richard the second and they were his Badges for the Kings Mother whom the blacke Prince married was widdow to Lord Holland Earle of Kent and being one of the most beautifullest Ladies of England and called the faire Mayd of Kent before her marriage She gave for her Devise or Crest the white Hind which her Sonne the King altered into a Stagge But to returne to our new Termers Meum and Tuum within a day or two they ordered the matter so that they gat acquaintance in all the Courts of Westminster and in no long time by observation and practise they grew so expert that they were still at one end of every Cause that was pleaded not a Counsellor nor Attorney belonging either to the Kings Bench Commonpleas or any other Court but grew acquainted with them and many times in friendly manner would salute them w th Good morrow Mr. Meum Save you Mr. Tuum I pray let me see you at my Chamber I have beene and so have we all much beholding unto you for your acquaintance and furtherance wee many times fare the better for you yet Meum and Tuum they were like the Whetstone that could sharpen every thing yet it selfe was blunt they could enrich others yet were ever in want for indeed men ever by sutes and contention begger themselves as we see by daily experience howbeit they gat sufficient to maintaine them hand somly and now and then to go to the Dogge Taverne at Westminster who I remember the last day of the Terme bit Meum fearefully to bid a friend to Supper and the like and whereas before they were called by their bare names only they were called now Mr. Meum and Mr. Tuum Now having beene throughly acquainted with Westminster but Westminster better with them and some three or foure Termes past and the long Vacation comming on they heard there was a controversie between certaine Gentlemen Projectors and of the Country where they were borne about the vast and spatious Fennes thereabout whereupon imagining there might bee good fishing in those troubled waters they resolved to goe downe thither to make a division among them if they could not agree among themselves So putting money convenient in their purse away for their Country they go playing many merry trickes by the way which would fill three such bookes as this if I should recount them in order Now by the way if they should happen to want money Meum resolved to take upon him the name and profession of a Physitian and to cure all manner of diseases and griefes by stroking the part pained and uttering some few words by way of charme as you shall heare anon Tuum would like a Gypsey be a teller of Fortunes especially to widdowes and young wenches and indeed they got hereby much money and grew famous One thing I must not forget by the way as they went three or fourescore miles from London as they walked downe a Lane a great shower of raine fell which constrained them to goe through a Gentlemans yard who had beene a Iustice of the Peace and was sitting in a wicker chaire and the Constable of that Parish a little distance off upon an Hogstrough to see his Swine ringed the Iustice was clad in cloth spunne in his owne house seldome came he up to London but ever staid at home keeping a good house among his neighbours Meum and Tuum passing by saluted him with all due respect my friends quoth he you are welcome where is your dwelling quoth Meum An 't please your worship in Westminster in a place called Theeving Lane and my Brother about or neare to Hell by my honesty quoth he both bad and naughty places I wonder my fellow Iustices thereabouts will take no order with that Lane either to place honest men in it or to remoove it further off from his Majesties Court I have heard that in Queen Elizabeth's time much Pla●e Hangings and other things