Selected quad for the lemma: son_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
son_n	daughter_n	father_n	husband_n	25,606	5	9.9891	5	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A57529	Matrimoniall honovr, or, The mutuall crowne and comfort of godly, loyall, and chaste marriage wherein the right way to preserve the honour of marriage unstained, is at large described, urged, and applied : with resolution of sundry materiall questions concerning this argument / by D.R. ...	D. R. (Daniel Rogers), 1573-1652.	1642 (1642)	Wing R1797; ESTC R5451	341,707	420

humor and vanity For through such a base custome it comes to passe that one learnes of another and now he is thought but a peasent who declines not this lawful provision of the Church Rather those who be of fashion and wealth should thinke it their honor to submit to this practice that they might give the better example to others and so approve the warrantablenes of their marriage and stop the gap of privacy and of clandestne matches without consent of parents a world of sutes upon pretended precontracts and as much sorrow to parents who by this disorder are robbed of their children and cannot understand of their marriage till it be past revoking Quest 2 The second question is what is to be thought of the marrying by a minister The question ariseth from the difference of other Countries fashions in this kind In the Scriptures we see it was civilly carried and dispatcht by the Elders in the gate and now in some of the reformed Churches we see it s performed in like sort officers being appointed to take their names to booke them in a Record and so with a short ceremony to dismisse them Answ But in my judgement the practice of our church to do it by the minister is every way most convenient For by this meanes the publiquenes of the action makes the matter more solemne awes the parties much more both before marriage to carry themselves so as they may not be ashamed to shew their faces in publike to justifie what they had done And if there were liberty given to parties in this kind to marry upon their private contracts what a world of sinne might ensue as in some to live in a course of defilement and to abuse each others bodies at their pleasures in others to leave each others even after the knowledge of each other besides making of that vulgar which cannot be preserved too warily I deny not but that possibly some persons so marring might do it without direct sin against God but what 's that to the scandall which is occasioned thereby we must so looke at that we doe lawfully in it selfe as not forgetting our rule that we procure things honest before men Whatsoever is pure and of good report that we must ensue and so the peace of God attends us not else Many acts may be good in the doers conscience which yet are subject to the suspicion and ill construction of others In such cases a man must aske this of himselfe if all should take such liberty to himselfe what would ensue of it And this would checke his proceeding The Iewes as the writers tell us had a strange way of contracting couples to wit for the better securing of the match they permitted the use of copulation for once to the parties and and no more till marriage upon a great penalty But finding great inconvenience to grow hereupon as no wonder it did they forbad any such course of contract and who so attempted it if it were proved he was scourged with rods openly for reproach sake So much for this second Quest Now a third question ariseth upon this that in our former discourse I have spoken of a lawfull contract that is lawfully entred upon betweene such as are within degrees permitted So that it s asked here whether cosen germans may marry To which this I say that I observe of late time many more Divines to encline to the affirmative then formerly have dome and some of them godly as well as learned and not onely so but which I wonder at seeing such novell and forbidden things are too soone runne upon that they do write for it and have determined the marriages of some in this way contrary to the affections of some of the parties bearing them downe by the judgement and giving occasion probably of snaring their conscience after when the crusted sore shall breake out again But to the point First for my part I should much rest in the generality of that charge Levit. 18. 6. None of you shall approach to any that is neare of kinne to him to uncover their nakednesse I am the Lord. I demand what is meant here by kinne Is not it to be meant both of such as are near in blood and also affinity And is there not very great nearnesse in blood betweene the uncles son and the uncles daughter Tremellius as learned a Iew as most of our later Iewish writers in his Diagram upon Levit. 18. at the end is so bold as to take it for granted That as its unlawfull to marry the uncle or the aunt so the hee and shee cousin germans cognatum cogratam saith he and yet alledgeth no Text for it as if he would have the matter taken for granted And in the Annotation upon the 6. verse he saith thus Of thy kin that is of those who are specified hereafter or which by Analogy of comparison with them are understood And who are they In the end of the Chapter hee tells us in his first Corollary The marriages of Collateralls either by affinity or consanguinity are forbidden to the fourth generation Is not this plaine enough And he addeth There was no use of it that the Holy Ghost should name them the case is so cleare I suppose the testimony of one such Iewish Textman as hee should overweigh the opinion of many novell writers But say these men if the Holy Ghost had beene against it might he not have named it I answer yes if he had thought good out an argument from negatives prevailes not Rather the not naming it strongly argues the thing out of question The Text mentions not the nakednesse of the daughter in lawes daughter among the forbidden particulars what then may a father in law marry such an one I thinke not The second degree is included in the first viz. Not uncovering the daughter in lawes nakednesse Yet here is nothing but affinity by marriage of the mother and is it not as rationall that although though the uncle or aunts sonne and daughter are not named farre nearer of blood though not in the descending line but collaterall then they yet their nakednesse must not be uncovered because the uncles and aunts may not Tell me if the wives brother or husbands sister had not beene named expresly had it been a thing lawfull to meddle with them I thinke not If the uncle bee directly forbidden to marry his neece or the aunt the nephew shall not their children be forbidden to marry also being but one degree lower As touching the argument from negatives it is so weake that it is gone into a proverbe and might not a thousand absurdities be as well proved by negation Dare these men argue thus against a Sabbath of the eighth day because it is no where translated expresly from the seventh to be the Christian Sabbath Againe what is more common through the Scripture then for particulars not named yet to be included in their generals It was not expressed in

houre of temptation which shall come for a triall upon all flesh Hee shall uphold thee in six troubles and the seventh shall not come neere thee The floods of great waters with all those plagues which God hath denounced against these shall not come neere thee Be cheerefull in the Lord therefore and still thou and thy wife cleave and cling to him deny your owne wils and carnall reason and trust to his eternall strength buckle with the worke of God faithfully and walke in his ordinance humbly till hee come and then he shall bring healing in his wings at last and in the meane time hee shall cause a voyce to sound behinde saying This is the way walke in it Hee shall order your pathes resolve your doubts prevent dangers and so preserve the soules of his Saints that thousands shall fall at his right hand and ten thousands at your left you going safe in the middest and so be brought safe and well through all extremities at last So much for Comfort and for this first Chapter CHAP. II. More full explication in what the honour of marriage consists being the ground of the Treatise ensuing viz. entrance and continuance Entrance first in marrying in the Lord handled BVT because there be many more Vses to be made of this point ere I come to them I desire further to open this truth and in particular to shew what the honour of this marriage is and in how many things it consists Honourable we see it is by that which hath bin said but the question is How married couples may attaine this honour To which I answer by two maine duties First procure it Secondly preserve it Procure it first by laying the foundation of it in honour for as the root is so will the branches be either honourable or reproachfull seeke therefore to enter into that estate according to God and his rules And then secondly having entred well into it manage it well also nourish the honour of it carefully and warily for it s no whit lesse vertue to keepe well then to seeke aright and many begin with great shew of honour who yet end in shame Touching the former of these there is a double rule of the word first to marry in the Lord secondly to marry aptly in the Lord. This is the ground of an honourable marriage when as thou art content to be taught by him who first put honour upon it to maintaine it For the former to marry in the Lord is to use our uttermost discreet diligence to seeke out such companions as in charity and likelihood are either already espouzed to the Lord Iesus their husband by faith and in token thereof sit close to him in obedience or an endeavourer thereto that is such as are in a faire and hopefull way of inclining to it These two I confesse differ but be ware lest thou attempt any marriage in which neither of these can be perceived To open my selfe a little they that are indeed actually married to Christ have bin truely drawne to him by his Elezier's and spokesmen by whose embassage God hath treated with them about this spirituall union betweene himselfe and them They have well digested the offer and with Abigail when sent for to be Davids wife confesse themselves to be so farre from worthinesse to be his Consorts and to taste of his marriage contents and benevolence that they are unworthy even to be fellow-servants with his children doorekeepers in his house or to wash and wipe the feet of his houshold So vile God hath made them in the sight of their owne eyes shewing them by his pure Law the basenesse of that conversation of theirs wherein they have walked as the doore alway rolling one way upon her hinges so they alway living in the same vices soked upon their old dregs that hereby he emptieth them of themselves dasheth that pride and vanity which puffed them up before so that alas they rather thinke that he is throwing them out of his presence for ever then marrying them in faithfulnesse to himselfe By this humiliation they come to be further acquainted with his pleasure That even to such wofull ones who have defiled their fathers bed worse then Reuben yea defaced his image yet to these most forlorne harlots and children of adulterers he is willing to be reconciled yea to seeke them out as that Leuite did his concubine yea after just cause of Divorce Iorem. 2. 1 2. to admit them to his bed againe themselves seeking no favour but fleeing from him as she from her Lord. By this unheard of love hee hath broken their whorish hard heart and forehead of brasse melted them into teares to see his bottomlesse and causelesse compassions as Zachary in chap. 10. ver 12. cals them especially while they by rejecting or sleighting it yea shutting him out and abhorring his love deserved to have his heart hardned and love to turne jealousie against them And now they consult whether they were better perish in their desolate courses or venture upon his love for a second reconciling At length seeing his scope to be to get himselfe a name in turning an harlots heart as bad as Mary Magdalen to her husband againe a thing which no man can doe to an whorish wife yea to make her more loyall and tender to him then she ever was ere she forsooke him I say at length she is convinced and casting her selfe downe at his feet as one that is loath to dishonour that love which she so much abused with a trembling and selfe-despairing heart begins to touch the hem of his garment to apprehend him to speak as he meanes and so becomes one againe with him neerer in covenant then ever bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh Striving from that second renuing of love towards him to draw mighty encouragement and resolution not onely never to be faithlesse to him in her conjugall affections any more but also to returne the fruit of his deere love into his bosome againe to walke in all subjection to his lore and will to delight in denying her selfe that so she may be wel-pleasing in his sight whether in doing or suffering for him Thus abiding faithfull to him in the uttermost service she can doe she waits patiently for his coming that he may finde her in peace and well occupied at his coming and then make her glorious and like himselfe without spot or wrinkle This is a short description of a spouse of Christ and a sonne or daughter of Abraham and such an one in measure more or lesse is each soule married to Christ and of such no question needs to be made but they are in this first respect meet husbands and wives for each other But lest my words prove snares to any who come short of these and yet are loth to be debarred from marriage I adde that there

sufficient confutation of Bellarmine and the Councell of Trent his Idoll which its like hee so adored that against Scripture and all Lawes he defends it who doth so stervingly maintaine the lawfulnesse of Marriages against parents consent that there need be no more to confute him then the barrennesse of his own defence in which he alway returnes to his old song that though Nature teach Parents right yet not the disanulling of Marriages upon non-consent Touching which I answer Many reasons may inforce the continuance of a thing done especially in so waighty a case as this which yet argues not the well doing that is all the question He urges the examples of Iacob and Tobija whereas the one although sixty yeares old at his marriage yet did nothing without his father and mothers consent Tobija if the Text were Canonicall had an Angell with him to guide him extraordinarily Indeed Esau's example he may plead for it with an ill handsell who its like went against Isaac and Robecca's charge Much good doe him with it He alledgeth a Decree of Clement A sonne is not compelled to follow his parents choice Who doubts it But doth this follow A parent may not compell his children to marry against their will Therefore a childe may marry contrary to the Parents No surely That which hee addes out of Ambrose she may chuse her husband ought she not to preferre God in her choice comes to no more then this That a Virgin hath power to chuse at least to refuse her husband but yet with parents consent The argument he brings from the validity of the marriage of slaves against their masters consent and that upon the ground of the institution and ends of marriage is doubly answered first that it is true Masters cannot barre their slaves of marriage but yet they may limit the right of Nature by appointing them wives for avoyding wrong to their owne estates Secondly the case betweene masterlike power is not like to parentall for the power of the former is onely civill and therefore may be restrayned by law but the other is naturall and therefore need no restraint since it s to be supposed that parents desire the posterity and marriages of their children much more then masters need doe of servants As touching that objection that after copulation marriages are necessary this proves not that the power of parents is dissolved for what absurdity is it for one to thinke that his second sin should favour and justifie his former offence But that for divers inevitable consequences upon the breach of a marriage already made it is better for a parent not to use his right then to use it It s the voice of the Law Fieri non debuit sed factum valuit So much for this Yet as there is no rule so generall but it admits exceptions so doth this One is the barre of Gods law in case of uncleannesse committed by the parties before marriage in which respect God forbad that they should by any meanes be parted so that here parents consent was though not wholly yet partly prevented not in right but in point of honesty by their lewd children who forced a necessity of marriage upon themselves being become as outcasts not worthy of such care of parents to be cast upon them besides it was to prevent beggery of the bastards and the defiling of the land by fornication if they had beene permitted to cashiere such as they had defiled and to marry chaste persons for its better one house bee troubled then two since one must be let them eate of the fruit of their owne labours and thanke themselves The law is mentioned by Moses If a man finding a maid defile her he shall surely marry her because he hath humbled her Another case is the supine neglect of parents when as they see offers made to their children to wit when as they permit parties unknowne and pretending to be such as afterwards they prove not but tainted with lewd qualities and of no such estate as is made shew of I say when as through foolish credulity they beleeve all shewes or use not meanes to enquire throughly after their manners and deserts but are cheated by their dissembling and hypocrisie but all this while they harbour them or seeing that their children are forward in their affections toward such so that they are ensnared and yet the parents suffer matters to passe on and hold their peace then the rule of the word ought to be observed That consent is implyed by their silence and why because he in whose power it is to stop evill and yet doth not seemes to command it Not onely if there appeare no more cause of breaking it off then at first for then it is onely the headstrong will of the parent unjustly discontent but although there should breake out more hideous and odious crimes against the party For it was the parents duty to have used all diligence to have searched out the truth of things at first and to have made all other matters cleare before such time as liberty be given to the parties themselves to ensnare themselves For by this meanes it may so fall out that extreame danger may ensue both to the party deserted and to them that desert Yet this I adde that all meanes be wisely used to unstitch and dissolve that league by degrees which hath long beene in knitting rather then to doe it rashly Let parents present to both the parties their deepe dissimulation perswading them betweene themselves rather to breake off then incurre a tolerable vexation by marriage and live at perpetuall feud with them who seeke their best welfare But if nothing will prevaile I say as sad as the necessity is yet the parent comes in too late with alledging his prerogative If saith the holy Ghost a virgin hath vowed a vow say it be a purpose to marry such a man much more if such a likelihood be daily presented to his eye and hee forbid it then he doth no more then his authority may claim for he is a parent and may disanull it but if he let it passe and doe not gainsay it he is supposed to resigne up his right in refusing and so to establish it Another case is in second marriages of children men or women For although there be a difference of judgement in sexes yet in this both are reputed to have equall liberty to match themselves and to be discharged from the power of the parent The first marriage made the parties one flesh and divided them both from the parents house and authority So that in such a case the rule holds not Paul doth not extend the power of a parent over a widow as to a virgin In the latter he alway yeelds to a father his liberty if he give his virgin to marry or refuse to give her hee doth well both wayes that is foreseeing the danger of persecution and withall knowing the strength of