A Bartholmew Fairing for Parentes to bestow vpon their sonnes and daughters and for one friend to giue vnto another Shevving that children are not to marie without the consent of their parentes in whose povver and choise it lieth to prouide wiues and husbandes for their sonnes and daughters Wherin is sufficiently prooued what in this point is the office of the fathers and in like maner declared the part and duty of all obedient children By Iohn Stockwood Minister and preacher of Tunbridge Ierem. 29.6 Take you wiues and beget sonnes and daughters and take wiues for your sons and giue your daughters to husbandes that they may beare sons daughters that you may be increased there and not diminished LONDON Printed by Iohn Wolfe for Iohn Harrison the yonger dwelling in Pater Noster-rowe at the signe of the golden Anchor 1589. To the right worshipfull M. Thomas Skeuington of Skeuington Esquire at this present high Sheriffe of Leicester-shire and one of hâ—r Maiesties Iustices of the peace there Iohn Stockewood Minister and preacher of the worde of God at Tunbridge in Kent wisheth all felicitie of mind and bodie through Iesus Christ our most merciful redeemer CHildren right worshipfull as we al wel know when their parentes or any of those with whoÌ„ they haue any familiarity goe vnto any faire vse commonly at their taking their iourney to say vnto them I pray you bring me home a Fayring And not only children are for the most part thus affected but we see it also to be the fashion of others of greater grouth further yeares when as at faires they meete with their friendes and acquaintance to bee begging and asking of them What will you giue me for a fairing And the curtesie that is this way bestowed be it in a maner neuer so small and simple is notwithstanding wel accepted and kindly taken from the hand of the giuer as being a signe and token of his good will and louing affection towardes the party on whom he doth bestowe the same This custome simply in it selfe not to be condemned although through abuse the best thinges may be peruerted I haue at this present framed my self vnto as I could for the shortnes of the time prepared this treatise discoursing vpon the office of parentes in prouiding their children of honest mariages in due season shewing at large the dutie and obedience of their sonnes and daughters in this behalfe How necessarie for al sortes of people this my trauaile such as it is may be it is not my meaning here in many wordes to dilate The generall want of performance of dutie in this respect on the one side by the parentes and on the other by their children hath bin the foster-nurse brood-mother of many great inconueniences wherwith both the Church common wealth yea and many priuate families are not a litle pestered against the which if by this my labour God of his mercie granting vnto it this blessing I may be thought to haue set downe some remedie it shal nothing greeue me to haue taken the same being glad if any way by my simple seruice I can bring any profite vno the Church of God the which howe much or how litle soeuer it bee who so shall thereby receiue any benefit next vnto God he shall be beholding vnto your worship for the same who haue bene the chiefe occasion of the publishing hereof For owing a dutie vnto you for your curtesie shewed at the request of the right honorable the Earle of Huntington my verie singular good Lord and maister I haue euer since bene deuising how I might giue out some testimonie of my gratefull remembrance of this worshipful kindnes and hauing none other meanes of greater valour I haue presumed to giue trial therof by these paper thanks whereby al posteritie may witnesse that I acknowledge my selfe to remaine a debtor vnto you for vndeserued curtesie extended towards me the which in asmuch as I am able no other waies to requite I do in al humilitie request your worship to account and reckon me in the number of those who being manie pleasured by you though hindmost peradueÌ„ture in worldlie abilitie will be found notwithstanding as forward as the formost in all dutifull and thankfull good will as one that hateth in the worlde nothing more than the most vglie and loathsome monster of ingratitude and vnthankfulnes The time falling out so fitlie with the finishing of this worke and publishing the same I haue geuen vnto it the name of a Bartholmew Fayring The reason oâ— the Title the rather by the noueltie of the title to drawe on the multitude of people that nowe out of all places of our country repaire vnto the citie to the better beholding and consideration of the matter coÌ„tained in the treatise the which as it is general and concerneth all that either are or may be parents or children so the doctrine marked heedfullie and practised accordingly caÌ„not choose but fal out auaillable vnto manie who learning here that which for the most part they were ignorant of and thought strange before will henceforth prooue to be more carefull fathers in prouiding christian mariages for their sonnes and daughters and their children more dutifull obedient in being ruled by them following of their choice and in diligent warefulnes that they intangle and bewrap not themselues in wedlocke-bands without the consent and liking of their parents Accept therfore I beseech you right worshipfull this simple present as an vnfeined token of my good will with that fauourable curtesie wherewith you are woont to imbrace others much bounden welwillers the which if you shall vouchsafe me I haue obtained my desire praying the almighty for euer to protect you Tunbridge this 20 August 1589. Your W. much bounden in al dutifull and most thankful good will Iohn Stockwood To all godlie Parentes with their like vertuous children and all other the Christian Readers into whose handes this book may come increase of true knowledge sincere practise of the same through Iesus Christ IT is not for nothing right curteous and christian readers that we haue bene by our Sauiour Christ so many yeares sithens before-hand warned of the state and condition of this wofull and doting world set on fire vpon mischiefe iniquitie that the neerer it groweth and hasteneth vnto his end the worse worse it shal daily wax insomuch that the Lord when he shal come to iudgement Luk. 18.8 shall hardlie finde faith vpon the earth For such are the miseries of our times that notwithstanding the plentifull preaching of the Gospell in most places sin still raigneth in aboundance and iniquitie getteth more and more the vpper-hand insomuch that those enormities and outrages the which are condemned by the law of Nature the word of God the practise of the godlie in all ages the testimony of the Heathen and generall consent of all commendable learning are notwithstanding of many not onely laughed and iested
greatest stroke in this most holy and heauenlie action And like as mariage is begon enterprised in the feare of God according to his word there God is well pleased there the parties so matched liue together in a ioyfull agreement and liking the one of the other there God is honoured and serued in synceritie and truth there the children when God giueth them with the rest of the familie are instructed and brought vp in the knowledge of religion and grounds of faith so on the other side the regard of that which God especially coÌ„mandeth being shut out of our mariages there must needes ensue his dislike and displeasure there is iar and discord there Gods honour is neglected there houshold-discipline and christian-instruction of such as belong vnto our chardge goeth vtterly to wracke and is nothing at all regarded And no marueil for if where God blesseth all thinges goe well and doe prosper then consequentlie where he curseth there nothing thriueth hath good successe or goeth happily forward Now if anie shall suppose that these speaches are but wordes of course carrie a gallant shew without any substance or proofe of matter pointing rather vnto such an order as we would haue or wish to be obserued in the matches of our children then shewing by good euidence that so it ought indeed and of right to be it is now time that we drawe somewhat neerer vnto the question the which vpon waightie consideration we haue taken in hand The principal drift and purpose of this Treatise by Gods assistance mean to prooue which is that children may not mary without the consent agreement of their parentes And this I hope shall in such sort be performed as that it shall plainlie appeare that not only the consent of father mother is chieflie requisite in the case of mariage but also in the former ages and more ancient times of this world alwaies declining from better to worse that the choise it selfe of wiues for the sonnes and husbandes for the daughters rested wholly in the power authoritie of the parentes insomuch that not onely the better sort of the children of the godlie referred the whole care of their bestowing this way vnto the prouident election of their fathers and mothers but the verie heathen themselues that were not altogether past grace and had cleane shaken of the yoke of dutiful obedieÌ„ce would not so much as once vouchsafe to heare of the motion of any match for themselues in the state of wedlock except the choise of their fathers mothers had gon before First then I willay this down for the foundation whereupon the rest of the building shall be framed the which is granted and agreed vpon among all the learned namelie that howsoeuer the minde of man since and through the fall of our first parentes is blinded and darkened God hath planted certaine generall principles groundes of true thin the hearts of all men yet God hath left some smal general sparkles of light in the same the which the verie heathen haue acknowledged and receiued for vndoubted trueths and there is none so blunt and shameles that he can gaine say them as for example That we ought not to hurt or wrong any man That we must giue to euery one that which is his And which is the head and chiefe of all concerning our outward behauiour and such dealinges as vsuallie doe fall out betweene man and man Doe not that vnto another the which thou wouldest not haue to be done vnto thy selfe with many other such like the which we otherwise tearme The law of nature or of nations be cause they are naturallie engrauen and written in the heartes of all men Rom. 1.13 and approoued and receiued with the generall consent of all nations yea and that so far foorth that those which do violate and breake them were worthy of death as the bolie Apostle himselfe somewhere in wordes doeth testifie and witnesse if therfore it be a principle that no man doubteth of That we should doe as we would be done vnto and that we ought not to doe vnto others that thing the like wherof we would be greeued and offended they should doe vnto vs The first reason from the law of nature I appeale to the conscience of all gracelesse sonnes and daughters as now a â—aies the more is the pitie in too great multitudes betroth themselues in mariage without the priuitie nay against the will of their fathers and mother whether that they would take it in good part at the hands of their children if they should in like maner prouide themselues of wiues and husbands their good wil and consent being not first obtained before if there bee none hauing any conscience at all but that the same dulie examined euerie night when he goeth vnto his bed telleth him that he woulde not thus himselfe be serued let this rule then be sufficient to teach him that he also ought not to marie without the well liking and agreement of his father and mother Wouldest not thou whatsoeuer thou art that thy childe if thou carrie any fatherly mind towards him should in his matching and marrieng be aduised and directed by thee And darest thou affiance and assure thy selfe vnto an other in the most honorable and holie estate of mariage without the knowledge and counsell of thy father Thou thy selfe the more dearly and tenderlie thou louest thine owne childe the more deeplie wilt thou bee touched with griefe and sorrowe in thy verie innermost bowels and affections he if he bestowe himselfe contrarie to thy liking and can those that begat thee thinkest thou reioice and bee glad when thou hast wedded contrarie vnto their mind and good liking Doe therefore as thou wouldest be done vnto Marie with the consent of thy parentes as thou wouldest that thy children should doe with thine And as thou wouldest not that those vnder thy gouernment should ioin in matrimonie against thy will so in any case take heed that thou contract not thy self according to thine own pleasure but stay for the direction and good aduice of thy father for it is an hard matter to haue the testimonie of thine owne conscience to bee alwaies accusing thee that thou hast done amisse and contrarie vnto that obedience the which thou owest vnto thy superiours and lookest also that thy children should performe vnto thee Secondlie that these priuie contracts that is to say The second reason taken from the authority of parents ouer their children such as are made in secret or in corners or otherwise in place neuer so publique without the consent of the parents are not lawful may this way more plainly appeare if we weigh consider that children are not at their owne libertie disposition nor as they say their owne-men but vnder the authority and power of their parentes like as seruantes are at the disposing of their maisters Nay they are so much more bound vnto their fathers
thē the which worketh in vs a conceiuing of such an opinion and estimation of them as that we haue an especiall respect and regard of them in doing or not doing of things neither of a care to please them or of a feare to offend them Obedience herein sheweth foorth it selfe in that willinglie without murmuring or grudging we be willing to be ordered directed guided and ruled by them being readie to do all lawfull thinges the which they command vs to refraine from those things the which they shall forbid vs. Thankfulnesse besides that there are many other branches is alwaies mindful of benefits receiued and therefore carrieth continually a vigilant and watchfull eie towards the partie by whome it hath bene pleasured that no discurtesie in any case bee offered or anie occasion ministred whereby he may conceiue vnkindnes And by this familiar descriptiō of these three heades whereof standeth chieflie the honor due vnto parentes we may clearlie see that those which in wedding tarie not for the consent of their fathers and mothers do neither stand in any awfull feare of them as whō they would be lorn to offend or displease nor yet giue ouer themselues in all thinges to be gouerned and aduised by them or haue any regard that they be not causers to make their friendes or parents conceiue hardlie and vnkindlie of them when as it is more then manifest that in matters concerning their duety towardes their parentes no greefe cutteth neerer vnto the heart then this when they entangle themselues contrarie vnto their minde and liking And therefore such children as match in this sort as it were in spite of the teeth of their fathers and mothers are neither reuerent obedient nor thankfull vnto them and so consequentlie they doe not honour them wherby they incurre and runne into the curse of God the which must without true and vnfeigned repentance pull downe vpon the heades of themselues and their families the fearfull plagues of God His heauie and hot indignation against them to their vtter subuersion decay and ruine The eight reason from the place of Paule Collos 3.20 S. Paule in his epistle vnto the collossians willeth children to bee obedient vnto their parents in al things giueth a reason therof saying For that is well pleasing vnto the Lord. Out of this place I reason after this maner to prooue that the good wil of the parents must be sought for obtained by the children in their contracts of mariage Whatsoeuer pleaseth God the same ought of al children to be practised so far foorth as it concerneth their place calling but to marie with thē cōsent of parents is a thing that pleaseth God therefore children in their mariages ought to haue the consent allowance of their parēts That euerie one in his calling ought to labor to do that thing which pleaseth God I take to be a case so cleare that no man doubteth of the same so that to go about to prooue this were as needles a thing as to labor to prooue that water is moist fire is hot or that it is day at high noone If any thing in the former reason be denied it wil be this that to mary with the consent of the parents pleaseth not God the which although it be as euident apparent as the former and cānot be denied of any that hath a forehead at al for who except he cary a face of brasse can be doubtfull of this that God is well pleased with the matching of children by the consent of their parents prouided alwaies that the mariage be in his feare the which caution is to be obserued through out this whole controuersie either handled alreadie or to be touched herafter yet for the sake of the simpler sort the which of ignorāce for the most part offend in this kinde of priuie contractes I will make this point plaine also after this maner All obedience vnto parents is wel pleasing to the Lord but for the sons to take wiues the daughters to take husbands with the liking and approouing of their fathers and mothers is an especiall obedience vnto them and such as all parentes wish euen with all their heart to haue in al their children performed towards them therefore to marie with the consent of parents is such an action wherewith God is well pleased The verie wordes of Paule where he saieth Children obey your parentes in all things doe sufficientlie warrant that all obedience vnto parentes is wel pleasing vnto God and the same is likewise auouched by Paule before in the epistle vnto the Ephesians where speaking of the dutie of children he hath these words Children obey your parents in the Lord Ephes 6.1 setting downe this reason for it is right And that fathers and mothers do hold themselues obeied when their children be ruled and ordered by them in the choise of their wiues and husbands is so euident that no man can gainsay it It must therefore needes follow that God is well pleased when they do get them yoakefellowes with the consent of their parents Nay as it is trueth not to bee doubted of that God his fauour and alowance goeth alwaies with those espousals or betrothings the which are ratified and established with the assent of those that bare vs and vnto whom we doe owe our being because that herein we do perform a chiefe point of obedience the which God looketh for and requireth at our hands so on the contrarie whē we shal ioin our selues in the band of matrimony make no reckoning of the authoritie of our superiours stepping in betweene God cannot behold those bridals with a cheerefull and a smyling countenance but is displeased and frowneth at the same because that we haue forgotten ourselues in a principall part of our child-like and dutiful obedience For if we must submit our selues and lay downe our handes vnder the feet of our parentes in all things yeelding our obedience in the verie smallest causes because God hath so commanded as the Apostle fully in so many wordes doth clearly teach vs then doubtles much more in the case of marying a matter of such force importance as whereupon for the most part dependeth our making or marring we ought willinglie to put our necks vnder the wholsome yoake of their fatherlie power vpon whose consent or refusall lieth the establishing or disanulling of our handfasting our selues without their agreement thereunto But it will here be replied The ninth reason together with the answering of an obiection concerning the restraint of childrens obedience that Paule himselfe in a kind of shew of some contrarietie restreineth the general obedience of children commanded in the third to the Collossians to to bee perfourmed vnto their parentes in all thinges and draweth the same into a more straight and narrowe compasse in his Epistle vnto the Ephesians where he will haue their dutie to bee no further yeelded vnto them then in the Lord and therefore vnlesse it may
plainlie be prooued that to haue the consent of parentes in mariage is a thing commanded by the word of God children are freed set at libertie from giuing obedience thereunto I answere that the one place is a good comment and exposition vnto the other so that this precept Children obey your parentes in all things ought worthelie to bee expounded by that other Children obey your parente in the Lord that is as I expound it letting goe all other interpretations in all such thinges as are not against the Lorde or which in the Scriptures are commaunded by the Lord. Which interpretation I doe the rather imbrace because I see it to bee warranted by the answere the which Peter Iohn in the Acts doe make vnto the chiefe rulers of the Synagogue whereby they excuse themselues for not obeying their inhibition forbidding them to preach any more in the name of Iesus saying Whether it be right in the sight of God to obey you rather them God iudge ye Whereby we are taught that not onelie in the commandements of our parentes but also of all other our superiours be they Kinges rulers or Magistrates of any other condition whatsoeuer all which are comprehended vnder the name of parentes that if they inioine vs to do any thing a gainst that obedience the which we owe vnto God we are not indeed violētlie to resist but we must with patience abide such punishment as they shall lay vpon vs rather then in obeying them we should disobey God vnto whom of good right wee are bound aboue and before al others be they of neuer so high and excellent places For there is a double obedience that is a certaine first chief most soueraign obediēce the which is proper and belongeth vnto God and a secundarie or inferiour obedience the which is due and appertaining vnto men A most geneneraral rule the which ad mitteth no exception So that in all our actions what soeuer belongeth vnto this life this is a most generall rule the which admitteth or receiueth none exception God must be obeied before or rather then men To returne therefore vnto the matter in hand the obedience of children to their parentes must I grant be limitted and bounded within the railes and listes of our obedience peculier vnto God that is to say Childrē are no further to obey the commandements of their parentes then so far foorth as the same be answerable and agreable vnto the commandements of God But this neuer a whit relieueth their bad and vnfollowable course the which in marriage will be their owne caruers and make their owne choise without the consent and allowing of their parents the which besides that hath hither to bene alleaged we wil yet further more largelie and more expreslie prooue out of the word of God and confirme that so it ought to be And now are we come indeed vnto a more higher and neerer point and the which will seeme stranger both vnto a great sort of parents and also serue verie stronglie to curbe the vnbrideled stay-les affections of an infinite number of inconsiderate and vnaduised youthes if by the warrant of the word of God they may be stayd when as it shall bee plainlie laid downe vnto them that not only they are in their handfastinges making sure in mariage to haue the consent of their fathers and mothers and that not seeking for the same they breake Gods commandement but also when it shall be shewed that choise of wiues and husbands for them is not in their power but in the authoritie of their fathers and that this both in plaine wordes is set downe in the scriptures and may moreouer be prooued by many examples as a generall vse and custome to haue bene obserued not onely of the godlier sort among the Iewes but also among the gentiles which had no other direction but the law of nature When I say it shall be euidentlie prooued that the choise in mariage of husbands and wiues for their sonnes and daughters was in the Parents and not in the children I thinke there will no question at all afterwards bee made whether the consent of the parents be requisite to be had or no in the mariage of their children forasmuch as if it be not in the children to make their owne choise much lesse may they marie without their parents liking Children in mariage may not make their owne choise therefore much lesse ought they marie without their friends consent for those that of themselues may not doe the lesser cannot be said to bee at their owne libetie to doe the greater but children in matters of mariage may not do the lesser that is make their owne choise which is a lesse thing then to marie without consent therefore it must of necessitie follow that in marying they must haue the consent of their parentes That children may not make their owne choise in marying I prooue after this maner No childe may take vpon him the duetie and office of his father To make choise of husbandes and wiues for sonnes daughters in mariage is the duetie and office of fathers therefore children in mariage may not make their owne choise and so consequently may not marie without the cōsent of their fathers The first that children may not take vpon thē the office of their fathers I take as graunted The second that parents ought to take wiues vnto their sonnes and husbandes vnto their daughters I will prooue by the commandement of God in sundrie places and by manifest reason drawen from those places And in this point If I bestow the more labour I shall the rather be borne withall because it is the most waightie part of al this discourse wherin if I shal happely or rather vnhappilie of anie be deemed tedious or ouerlong the profitablenesse of the matter if God giue grace that being of ignorance in the most neglected before it may now vpon knowledge be put in diligent practise hereafter shall easily I trust procure my pardon And my good hope and earnest prayer also is that this my trauaile shall not be in vaine but that al godlie fathers and mothers seeing clearly at the length what charge by God himselfe is laide vpon them will be carefull in time to make meete choise for their children that all dutifull and obedient sonnes and daughters vnderstanding that it is no deuise of man but the expresse commandemēt of God that their fathers mothers should prouide thē wiues husbands wil cease henceforth to take vpō them the office of their parentes and with all willingnes be contēt to stand in these cases to the choice of their elders which they shall make for thē in the feare of the Lord agreably vnto his word or at least wise in no case assure themselues vnlesse themselues be sure of their consent Now let vs see the places of Scripture by which it may appeare that the choise of husbands for the daughters and of
wiues for the sonnes is by the commandement of God himselfe laid vpon the parentes Places of scripture proouing that parēts ought to prouide wiues husbāds for their sonnes and daughters Deut. 7.3 concerning which matter in the booke of Deuteronomy we read thus Neither shatt thou make martages with thē he speaketh of the seuen nations the which by the Iewes were vtterly to bee rooted out neither giuethy daughter vnto his son nor take his daughter vnto thy sonne Here God giueth an especial charge vnto al fathers among the Iewish natiō that at no hand they should place in mariage citheir their sonnes with the daughters of those nations or take of their sons to be husbands for their daughters the which precept had bin in vain if they had not had this power and authoritie ouer their children or if their sons and daughters had bene at their own libertie in these cases to haue made their owne choise for they might easilie haue replied that their children in these pointes were not to be at their command and the children might haue complained of the hard dealing of their fathers in debarring thē their right in making their owne matches if any such priuiledge had belonged vnto them but the fathers neither taking any exception against God to excuse themselues from this dutie nor the sonnes pleading that by this lawe their interest shoulde be impeached doth argue sufficientlie that it was the ordinarie course of that time for parentes to giue their children in mariage and that their children were wel content with their fathers doings in this behalfe It will here peraduenture be saide That God by making this law Obiection setteth not downe an order the which he would haue generally to be obserued of the parentes in all matches of their children yea euen with their owne people and nation but onelie directeth them what they should doe concerning mariage of their sonnes and daughters among those seuen accursed nations this also to preuent a mischiefe least that by making and ioyning any such affinitie they might be pulled and drawen away from the true worship and seruice of God vnto idolatrie and superstition I answere Answere that God when he gaue vnto them this commandement had indeed an especiall regard to meet with before hand this danger of hauing his people caried by such matches to run a whoring after strange Goddes but this notwithstāding prooueth not that the fathers libertie to place his children in wedlock was not general amōg the people of his own nation but that hee had this authoritie to restraine them onelie from marying with that wicked people for feare of spirituall infection and pollution for that they had this power ouer their children in prouiding the marriage euen within their own land and limits of their owne countrie it is most clearlie to be seene in the last chapiter of the booke of Iudges where the Israelites hauing geuen that great and fearfull ouerthrowe vnto their brethren the Beniamites for their maintainance of that most horrible outrage in defiling in verie shamefull and beastlie maner of the Leuites concubine bound themselues by a solemne oth and sware saying None of vs shal giue his daghter vnto the Bentamits to wife This oath for my part reseruing to others their contrarie iudgment I doe not in anie case allowe but condemne the same as rash and vnaduised the which trulie repenting themselues of their rashnes they might with farre better conscience haue broken then kept and I could alleadge many reasons to confirme mine opinion but that is not appertaining to this present argument neither yet any part of my purpose in this place nor at this time onely I bring it to shew that hereby it is manifest that they made no doubt of their libertie in disposing of their children in mariage nor of their readines to obey them in that behalfe for if they might not ouerrule them in this matter or their children had bin to make their owne choise they had bene worthy of double blame both in taking vpon them the placing of their daughters and also in binding thēselues with an oth for the due execution and performance of that thing The rashness of the Israli◠taketh not a way their ri◠in making choise for th◠in their ma◠ages the which they had no right to lay vpō them And howsoeuer it be that this place may be thought of some not of force suffiicient to warrant this authoritie of Parentes in making the choise for their sonnes and daughters in their marriages because the oath was taken vnaduisedlie albeit that their offending in one thing be not plea good inough to disfrauchize them of their freedome and libertie in an other thing yet if the cause had bene good it shall appeare by an other place that they might by oath haue bound themselues for the not giuing of their daughters in mariage whereby may bee gathered that the choise in these cases lay in the parentes and not in their children for herein they fault in this action not that they seeke to keepe their right and authoritie in prouiding for their children but in that they make an oath both rash and full of crueltie against their brethren Now that the choise was in parents of prouiding wiues husbands for their children and in such sort that they might in honest godlie matches bind themselues so to do it is certaine by that which we reade in the last chapiter of the booke of Nehemiah who caused manie of them that were returned from the captiuitie not onely to take an oath that they would not take wiues vnto their sonnes nor husbands vnto their daughters of the strange nations there specified but also made them to curse and ban themselues and to wish heauie iudgmentes and plagues of God to fall vpon them if they should doe the contrarie That the mater may be out of all doubt controuersie it shall not grieue me to sette downe the wordes as they lie in the text Nehem. 13.23.24 In those daies also saieth Nehemiah I saw Iewes that maried wiues of Ashdod of Ammon and of Moah And their childrē spake halfe in the speech of Ashdod and could not speake in the Iewes language and according to the language of the one people and of the other people Then I reprooued thē and cursed them and smote certaine of thē pulled of their hair and took an oth of thē by God ye shall not giue your daughters vnto their sonnes neither shall you take of their daughters vnto your sonnes nor for your selues Whosoeuer shall with him selfe weigh and consider of this most excellent and worthy man of his true godlinesse and zeale in religion of his great care forwardnes to build vp the citie and Temple of his faithfulnes in his gouernment and rule ouer the people committed to his charge he may not go about to offer vnto him this iniurie insomuch as once dreaming that a man of his holines
children with all dutifull readines to stand vnto the same And taking the matter in hand after this reuereÌ„t christian order assure your selues that you haue performed a good work sin not for so Paule telleth you in plaine wordes where he saith Let him doe what he will he sinneth not and a litle after He that giueth her to marie meaning when the father by good triall had found out that otherwise she caÌ„not liue chast sinneth not For in speaking after this manner he hath no doubt respect vnto that course the which the Lord himselfe in his word hath set down the which also hath of the godlie bene practised euen from the beginning as by many examples anon shall be shewed There is therefore no danger of doing amisse and of sinning if that you behaue your selues after this sort in prouiding husbandes for your daughters and in bestowing of your sonnes in honest wedlock But rather on the contrary part you shal verie greatly transgresse and offend if ye shall neglect and forslowe your dutie in this behalfe And to all you that will bee counted godlie and dutifull children An earnest sute vnto all godly childsâ— let mee in all humble and louing manner make this earnest suite and waightie motion that you likewise hereafter will with all reuerence and aduisednesse consider what dutie you owe vnto God whose order this is that you shold be ruled by your parents in all thinges vnto whom he hath giuen such high soueraigne power and authoritie ouer you that he will haue euen those solemn vowes and promises that you haue made vnto himselfe to stoup and giue place vnto their consent and alowance striue no longer against God Num. 30. but in all willingnesse of minde put your neckes vnder his yoke enter not violentlie into your fathers right giue vnto them this honour to thinke that they by their wise donie can and for the louing care the which they beare towardes you will prouide better for you then you can doe for your selues remember that you are called after Christ by the glorious name of Christians who was obedient vnto his father euen vnto the death of the crosse let it therefore be no griefe vnto you to submit your selues vnto them in that same thing whereof you haue in the scriptures so manie notable and honourable presidentes if they shall be thought slacke in prouiding for them in due time labour by all modest meanes that by some friendes they be put in mind of their duetie since God hath commanded them to make choise for you bestow not your selues without their consent but humble your selues by deuout and faithfull praiers before the throne of the almighty that he in mercie will vouchsafe that your naturall parentes vnto whose power you are subiect setting aside all carnall and earthly respectes may in their choise for you haue his feare before their cies and that your selues may not bee caried away after your owne fancies but by the working of his holie spirite bee inwardlie and throughlie mooued with a godlie christian and pure loue to imbrace those which they shall haue chosen and prouided for you as the godlie children in former ages haue done before you And here I will alleadge The eleuenth reason from the common vse practise of the godlie in former times for an other reason the generall vse and practise of the godlie Fathers Patriarches and other holie men in prouiding of wiues for their sonnes and husbandes for their daughters together with the willing obedience of their children to accept and take them so prouided at their handes to serue to prooue that it was a common lawe among those that liued in those times for the sonnes and daughters in matrimonicall cases to be ordered and ruled by their fathers and mothers For the Lawyers doe holde that generall vse and custome doe make a law And what reason then is there to the contrary but that this the which hath so generallie and continuallie bene obserued should in like maner goe and be taken for a law the which it may bee thought that God euen hereby woulde induce and leade men vnto in that when hee first created all things and man last of all ouer whom by the priuiledges of creation he might worthilie claime the right and power of a father he doth not suffer him at his owne choise pleasure to take vnto himselfe the woman made of his side but brought her himselfe vnto him to be his wife by which his fact as I doe take it was notablie prefigured or foreshadowed out vnto vs God as a father prouideth a wife for Adam in Paradise that he would haue earthly fathers take that course in prouiding for their children in mariage the which he being our heauenlie father tooke for his eldest son Adam in paradise that is that they should make choise of wiues and husbandes for their sonnes and daughters the which they ought as willinglie to receiue at the handes of their fathers as Adam did his wife from the hand of God If any of those vnbribeled colts the which think they may at their owne pleasure make their own matches shal for the defence and maintenance of their disorder dealing in this behalfe replie and say that this example taken from the fact of God doth no more warrant this course the which so much disliketh them A trifling caâ—ill then it prooueth that a father ought in like sort to take a wife for his sonne out of the rib of a man and close vp the place againe with flesh as God did in Adam I answere that this is a friuolous or trifling cauill For as the making of Heuah of the rib of Adam was inimitable or vnfolowable being a token of God his omnipotencie and almightie power so the other being such as both without danger we may follow and also as hath bene plentifullie before shewed wee are commaunded to followe and now remaineth to make plaine that the godlie from time to time did follow might verie well be a foretoken vnto vs that God in the choise for our childreÌ„ would haue that we should do the like And this seemeth yet further hereby to be confirmed God giueth Christ his son to be the husband of his Church that when as our first parents through their disobedience and breach of God his commandement had worthelie deferued to bee turned headlong out of the earthlie paradise and had further through this their trasgession lost so farre as in them lay the in heritance of the kingdome of heauen both for themselues and also for all their posteritie when as nowe there remained no other way of recouering the same againe but onelie by the meanes of a mariage to be made by faith betweene himselfe and his posteritie and our Lord and Sauiour Iesus Christ the true and euer lasting sonne of God who knoweth not that this match before all times was concluded in the eternall and most wise counsaile of
God the father who gaue his onlie sonne Iesus Christ in time to bee borne of the virgin Marie that he should not onlie be the spouse and husband of his Church the members of his bodie of his flesh and of his bones Ephes 5 3â— as the Apostle speaketh vnto the Ephesians but also of his entire and tender loue vnto the same laid downe his life for it that it being washed in his owne blood wherwith it is all to be sprinkled by the hand of faith it may bee presented as a pure virgin vnto his heauenlie father without spot or wrinkle if therfore God the father made the choise of vs his church to be a wife for Iesus Christ his sonne who with vnspeakable willingesse tooke the same at his hand although sinne greatlie blemished and deformed which blemishes and deformities he couered notwithstanding by faith in his blood Howe much more then ought earthlie fathers seeke out meet wiues husbands for their sonnes and daughters whose duties it is to accept like of theÌ„ after this sort prouided choseÌ„ for theÌ„ But if any shal thinke these examples to be far fetcht albeit they be vsed of men of great note in this se fe same verie argument I will now come vnto other presidents Peter Martyr in his commeÌ„taries vpon the booke of Iudges so manie as I can call to my remembrance as I read them set downe in the booke of the scriptures Abraham being verie olde and stroken in yeares intending to make choise of a wife for Isaac his sonne Abraham by his steward prouâ—deth a wife for Isaac his sonne who at this time was no child of himselfe but fortie yeares of age without imparting his counsaile vnto him committeth this chardge vnto the Stewardes of his house of whom he taketh an oth for his faithfull dealing in this businesse whereas had it either bene the custome of that time or otherwise law full for children in these cases to haue chosen for themselues at their owne will and pleasure it had bene most meete and conuenient that his father should haue dealt with Isaac his sonne not with his seruant concerning The seruant as it may appeare by his proceedings The Steward goeth vnto the father of Rebeccha being wel acquainted with the practise of those daies dealeth not at all with Rebeccha in these affaires but goeth directly vnto her father Bethuell at whose handes he doth obtaine her for his masters sonne Bethuel the father Bethuel maketh the match for his daughter at the Steward his propounding his sute in the name of his master by and by as one not doubtfull of the obedience of his daughter concludeth and shutteth vp the match yet like a kinde father not minding to force his childe thereunto against her will calleth for her asketh what she sayth therunto who like a most louing childe doeth willingly consent vnto her his match and taketh her iourney to goe with the seruant Isaac after that Rebecca is brought home vnto him Rebeccha standeth to the choise o her father entreth not into the desperate vaine of the vnruly youths of our dayes the which are caried away with the violent streame of their head-strong affections therfore they shame not to blunder out these or such like most vnreuerent and vnbefitting speaches My father shall my father prouide me my wyfe is he to make my choise I am to marie for my selfe and not for my father and therfore I wil be my owne chooser Like she me I seeke no further dislike father or mother or all the world besides I weigh it not c. you shall heare no such thing of Isaac Nay he may worthely be a mirror or looking glasse for all sonnes to prie into and to behold how farre they come short from his submisse and dutifull obedience in this behalfe Isaac taketh Rebecca prouided for him and loneth her for the woman whom he neuer saw before neither yet heard of so far as we reade when he once vnderstandeth that shee is appointed for him by the choise of his father the next saith hee receiued her Gen. 24.67 and loued her and was comforted after the death of his mother Iaacob being hardly menaced and threatened by his brother Esau Iaacob Gen. 23.29 in so much that hee was couÌ„sailed by his mother to flie away for the safegarde of his life is directed by his old and blinde father Isaac to goe to the house of his brother Laban and from thence to take vnto his self a wife who obeying the voice of his father weÌ„t vnto his vncle LabaÌ„ froÌ„ his hand receiueth his two wifes Leah Rachel Iudah one of the xii Iudah bestoweth his sons in mariage Gen. 38. Patriarchs bestowed in mariage his two sons Er and Onan and after their death putteth Tamar their widdowe in good hope that if she wil tary vntil his thirde sonne Shelah by reason of years should be fit in mariage to be ioind with her that he should be a match and husbaÌ„d for her in which promise albeit his purpose were indede to mock her in respect of his inward intent priuy onely vnto himselfe yet Tamar in such sort taking him as that she supposed his heart and tongue to iumpe together teacheth vs that she was so far perswaded of his fatherly authority to coÌ„maund his son when he should growe to age conuenient to be ruled by him that without seeking any further assurance shee remaineth widdow making her full and sure reckoning that in the end she should inioy him because his father in whose authority hee was to bee disposed would in truth perform his promis Caleb disposeth of the mariage of his daughter Acsah Caleb giueth his daughter Acsah to be a wife vnto Othniel or Othoniel who waÌ„her by his valour and prowes in taking by force of arms Kiriahtsepher Ios 15.16.17 hauing made a general proclamation that whosoeuer could effect that noble peece of seruice should obtaine her for his portion whereby may easely be gathered in what subiection children then were vnto their parents in as much as it being a thinge very vncertaine who should doe this warlike feat yet whatsoeuer he were whoÌ„ God should enable thereunto hee made no doubt of his daughters taking him to be her husband Amnon burning in vnordinate lust towardes Tamar the sister of his brother Absalon Tamar doeth acknowledg it to bee the right of heâ— to determine of her mariâ— age when as he went about to defile her being craftely betrayed into his handes through the suttle counsaile of Ionadab his friend requesting him to abstaine from offering vnto her that great reproche and villany 2. Sam. 13. shee willeth him to aske her of her father in marriage Dauid The marriage it selfe I condemne as vnlawfull and incestuous yet her request importeth thus much that shee well knewe that shee was not to determine of her owne marriage but that the
all you that either be in trueth Christians or otherwise would so be taken and accounted know you that this custome of the parentes placing and bestowing their children in mariage is as hath bene shewed most ancient and commeÌ„dable yea and approoued by our Lord and Sauiour Christ himselfe also in the xx of Luke Luk 20.11 where going about to confute the errour of the Saduces the which if there were a resurrection which they denie did suppose that there must be also mariage he auoucheth it to haue bene the ordinarie practise of the men of those times to giue their children to be maried saieng The children of this world mary wiues and are giuen or bestowed in mariage 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 â—th to place 〈◊〉 bestow in marriage as the parents 〈◊〉 â—heÌ„ as they giue their children to be married for so doeth the verb 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 which in that place hee vseth most properlie in the iudgment of the learned signifie And by the men of this world as well the wicked as the godly least that otherwise wee might thinke that mariage dooth not appertaine vnto the children of God if we should here take children of this world as opposite and sette against the children of light or of God as I confesse it must some times bee taken which in this place cannot be leaste it might seeme to giue some countenaunce vnto the error before recited So that hereby clearely appeareth that in the dayes of Christ 1589 yeares sithens and more this was an order generally obserued for the parentes in mariage to place and bestowe their children the which also Beza Beza saith that this place most strongly proueth the power authority of parentes in bestowing their children in mariage and Feguernekinus who hath profitably abridged Marlorat his common places doth note vpon this place Let not Christians therfore dislike of that which Christ himselfe after whom they are named seemeth to commend But let them rather knowing what God looketh for at their handes in due season prouide wiues for their sonnes and husbandes for their daughters least by forslowing the time too long they bee either preuented by their childrens to rash contracting themselues or otherwise to their greater sorrowe see them runne into more greater folly as it often commeth to passe when as the sonnes and daughters think that their fathers and mothers haue no care of them in this behalfe yea in this busines let them carrie so gentle an hand towarde their children that they themselues feeling best their owne estate when as they be come vnto years and discretion conuenient may if their childly modesty will suffer them deale with their parentes concerning this matter in an humble and reuerend manner by themselues or otherwise by the godly intercession of their friendes who at their motion may put their parentes in minde in time conuenient to haue care of these cases by meanes whereof many inconueniences and disorders shal bee met with ill before hand the which for want of this ChristiaÌ„ foresight on both sides do too vsually fall out to the dishonour of God and offence of his Church The end of all is that both the parentes and the children vnderstanding what God looketh for on both their partes in this busines set aside all caueling and cunning gloses to shake of this dutie For I will not trouble my selfe wyth aunswering these many and vaine obiections on this behalfe vsuall to bee alleaged on both sides but refer them ouer vnto the thorow shifting of their seuerall consciences in these actions according vnto that the which by this treatise they shall learne to appertaine vnto their seuerall duties that they may in sincerity and truth effect the same being desirous as purposedly to offend none so gladly in this point to satiffie al the which if it be not alreaÌ„dy performed accordingly so far as the question taken in hand to proue requireth I will endeuour as I shall heareafter by any the godly be aduertised and labour God willing more fully and largely so far as in me lieth to set downe to the full contentment of all such as are not purposedlye resolued and determined in this cause to cauill thwartle and dissemble hoping that the godly shall profite to the perfourming of a necessary dutie yet of a great parte left vnperfourmed and the wicked bee made vnexcuseles when the accounts must be rendred before that iudge which shaâ—l geue sentence without regarde of the person of any whatsoeuer that shall coulorably seeke to withdraw his necke out of his lawful and dutifull obedience Wherefore in this duty or any other the which the warrant of God his word may iustifie howsoeuer the same in any respect may seeme strange vnto vs let it bee our continuall and most earnest praier to desire God to subdue our corrupt and carnall affections vnto his most holie will and godlie pleasure so far foorth as we shall haue his word the infallible lode-stone to direct and guide vs vnto the same for Christ his sake Amen LONDON Printed by Iohn Wolfe for Iohn Harison the yoonger dwelling in Paternoster-row at the signe of the golden Ancher 1589.
man shoulde contemne this as a weake and childish reason let him know that the learned Father Theodorus Beza vseth it although not in the same iust number of wordes yet in this verie selfe same argument and to the selfe same purpose in his booke de repudijs diuortijs where his iudgement may bee further seene to iumpe with mine fullie in this question as mine also in this behalfe agreeth with the opinion of al the learned And it seemeth not to bee much impertinent from this place The fift reason from the vneffectualnes of vowes without the consent of parents and husbands in their childrâ— and wiues the which wee read in the booke of Numbers concerning Vowes where among other things we doe finde that the vowes which were made by the children without the priuitie and consent of the fathers and of the wiues without the liking and allowance of their husbandes were altogether vnlawfull and of no force And the reason according to true meaning of the place is geuen by the best Interpreters because neither children nor wines are sus iurâ—s that is at their owne libertie and appointment but vnder the rule and gouernment of others namelie of their parentes and husbands As therefore to make a vow vnto the Lord being in it selfe and of it owne nature an holy and acceptable action vnto God and where with he is well pleased is notwithstanding in children vnlawfull because it is such an action as they onlie may performe which are free and at their owne disposition the which they are not so in like maner to consent in matrimonie although in it selfe it be both honest lawfull yet is it not an action of force in children without the consent and allowance of their parentes because that children are not free at their own libertie but by the lawes both of God and man tied and bound vnto the subiection of their fathers as hath at large bene shewed before and through the whole discourse of this treatise is to be prooued also hereafter In the 22. The sixt reason from the lawes in Exodus of entifing of maids and the fathers selling their daughters for seruants of Exodus there is a law concerning the intising of maids a practise this day too common because there is not discipline sharpe enough ministred to represse it and in the chapter before going there is another coÌ„stitution as touching fathers that to releeue their owne necessities are constrained to sell their daughters for seruants by the first wherof it appeareth that the contract of children without the consent of their parentes is not auaillable or of anie force and by the second may easilie be gathered that seruats were not at libertie to make their owne choise in mariage but that the right thereof appertained vnto their maisters both places iointlie coÌ„cluding flatlie for me that both children seruants as Res domenorum that is the goodes of their owners are not as in other cases of lesse waight so in like sort in that matter of greate importance namely the bestowing of themselues in wedlocke for to follow the violent streame of their owne pleasing affections but to be ordered and guided by the rule of their fathers and maisters I will set downe the seuerall wordes of the law in both these cases that being diligentlie obserued and marked fathers and maisters may learne what was the authoritie in the mariage of their children seruants and that these likewise may vnderstand what is their part dutie in these considerations Exodus 22.16.17 The wordes for intising of maides are these And if a man intise a maid that is not betrethed and lie with her he shall endow her and take her to wife if her father refuse to giue her to him he shall pay money according to the dowrie of virgins Exod. 21.7.8.9 Here is expreslie set downe that albeit the two parties were fullie agreed yet is the match not to goe forwarde vnlesse the father also doe giue his consent Now for the father his selling of his daughter to redeeme his owne need and pouertie thus speaketh the lawgiuer in the chapter afore going Likewise if a man sell his daughter to be a seruant she shall not gee out as men seruants doe If she please not her maister who hath betrethed her vnto himselfe then shall he cause to buy her he shall haue no power to sell her to a strange people seeing he despised or defloured her But if he hath betrothed her vnto bys senne he shall deale with her according to the custome of the daughters So that ye see howe the maiden in this sort sold to be a seruant by her father became by this sale bound to the power of her maister to bee at his appointing in the case of marrying and such was the condition of all other seruants by the law of God in this respect and that the sonnes also were not left vnto their owne direction no although that they were otherwise free besides that this place doth prooue the same directly affirming that the father of the free son might betroth him vnto his bond maid it shall in his place sufficientlie hence forward likewise appeare The seventh reason drawen from the commandement Honor thy father mother c. Besides al this what clearer euideÌ„ce can we haue on our side then the fift commandemét in the which childré are cómanded to honor their fathers and mothers with a blessing promised to those which perform the same wherby we gather by the nature of contraries that there is a curse also belonging vnto all those children that shal dishonor them And in that God willeth that the parentes by their children should be honoured he meaneth that they should in all humilitie and modestie reuerence them with all dutifull submission be obedient vnto them and with all willingnes shew themselues thankfull for their procreation education sustentation and all other benefites that vnder God they haue receiued from them being readie by all meanes they possible may 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that is to imitate and expresse towards them the nature of the Storke whose propertie as they write of theÌ„ is to prouide meat and feed their dams when through age they grow so olde that they are not able for to help themselues that is to say they must to their verie vtmost seeke to make them recompence and requitall of some part of those vnrequitable paines the which their louing parentes haue taken with them and make some a mends for the vnconteruaillable kindnes that they haue shewed towards them But where they bestowe themselues in mariage without the consent of their parentes there they do fault and make a breach of dutie in all these three respectes that is to say they neither reuerence obey nor shew themselues thankful vnto them For reuerence consisteth in this that we carie towards them a certaine honest and modest shamefastnes ioyned with abashfull awfulnes standing in feare of
religion zeale wisdome and godlinesse would so much as make the very least motion of any vnlawful matter to his people much lesse enforce theÌ„ by oath to enter into such a course whereby they might easilie haue bin periured had they not in this case well knowen their fatherlie power ouer their children and bene perswaded of their tractable readines in this matter to bee ruled by them Such was the discipline of that time and in such awe stood dutifull children vnto their louing fathers in those daies that being therennto required by the magistrate they durst not onely pawne their credit but that which more is giue their oath and hazard their conscience vpon the assured confidence wheich they reposed in their childrens willingnes to betake betroth themselues vnto such yoke fellowes as they should appoint and make choise of for them in honest matrimonie to lead their liues withall Yet doe I not thinke the contrarie but that in those ages like as in our time there were many both sonnes and daughters which are like vnrulie coltes and vntamed heifars could not be brought vnto this passe nor yet be yoked within this bow but the sturdie frowardnes of some certaine is no disproofe of the dutifull obedience of the better sort neither was there anie more required of the fathers then that according vnto God his commandement so far as in them lay they should doe their partes to keep their children within this compasse that is to say they were to prouide matches for them within their owne people to charge them in regard of that honour the which by God his commandement they did owe vnto them that they yeelded vnto their fathers choise and hauing gone thus far they haue sufficientlie done that which vnto them belonged and for the rest they were to leaue their rule lesse children vnto the iudgmeÌ„ts of God and correction of the magistrate who in cases of disobedience where the authority of parents could beare no sway Deut 21 18. was by God himselfe appointed to minister correction according vnto the qualitie of the transgression To make an end of this ninth reason in the which I may be thought to haue dwelled too long Almost strong place our of Ieremie to proue that that the chois was in parents to prouide sit matches for their children in mariage I will shut vp this place with an authoritie taken out of the prophet Ieremie with the iudgment of M. Caluin a most worthie instrument of Christ his Church in our time vpon the same the which shall strike this matter stone dead as they say and so goe on to other proofes and these shall serue as a strong naile to fasten all the rest together to make sure all the other testimonies of scripture in this foresaid ninth reason already quoted for the faithfull alleadging of the which places vnto such end and purpose and by the holie Ghost they are directed besides that I haue the testimonie of a cleare conscience to beare witnesse of my fearfull carefulnesse to deale sincerelie and faithfullie in the handling of the word of God If I shall be therunto at any time hereafter vrged I can bring also the confirmation of the best and most learned writers Ieremie in the 29 chapiter of his prophesie among other reasons the which hee vseth to comfort the people in their long hard captiuitie Ievem 1â— 6 and to put them in hope that they shall assuredlie return at the length speaketh vnto them by the commandement of God after this maner Take you wiues beget sons daughters and take wiues for your sonnes and giue your daughtes to husbands that they may beare sonnes and daughters that you may be encreased there and not be diminsshed Vpon this place Caluin writeth after this maner Wheras saieth he the prophet willeth them to take wiues for their sons and to giue their daughters to be maried this is according to the lawfull order and course of nature because that this were too preposterous or ouerthwart and topsituruy dealing that yoong men and maidens should get them either husbandes or wiues at their owne lust and pleasure God therefore in this place speaketh according vnto the common rule when as hee commandeth yoong men to be linked in matrimonie no otherwise but by the commandement of their parentes and maidens also not to marie any husbands but such as to whom they shal be giuen Here you may see in few words confirmed that Four especiall poyntes to be noted out of the wordes of Calum which in so manie I haue at large set downe before where first it is to bee noted that childrens marying according to the choise of their parentes is a thing commanded by God Secondlie that it is agreeable vnto the law of nature Thirdlie that it was a generall rule and common practise Fourthly that the contrarie dealing is preposterous and ouerthwart and as far out of square and order as if the cart should bee placed and set before the horse And marke further that in all these places cited in this ninth reason God saith not It is a coÌ„mandement not a permission that parentes in mariage should make choise for their chils drest that parentes if they wil may prouide wiues for their sonnes and husbandes for their daughters That it were meete and requisite that it should be so but vseth euerie where the imperatiue mood that is commandeth that it be so and leaueth it not at randome to our discretion to choose whether we will haue it to bee so or otherwise to that end that we should knowe that if wee that are parentes shall neglect our duties in this behalfe wee shall not passe away with the matter slightlie and lightlie as if it were a lest a trifle but that we shall answer for it as for a transgression and breach of his commandement Hauing therefore giuen this breefe caueat and warning blow vnto fathers and mothers to think hereafter more aduisedlie vpon their duties in bestowing of their children I take my leaue and farewell of this reason giuing al yoong men and maidens in like maner to vnderstand that if they shal henceforth refuse to be ordered and directed by their parentes they shall be found rebels against God transgressors against the law of nature breakers of the common rule and custome of all well gouerned children and such so far as in them is would bring in al confusion and disorder in altering and changing Gods owne course to set vp and establish their owne vnbrideled lust and lawles affection Hitherto we haue seen how farreforth the Scriptures and places of the old Testament doe stand firmely on our side for the proofe of this question the which we haue taken vpon vs namely tâ—at mariages are not to bee made without the consent of parents the which as we perswade our selues wee haue proued with the a duâ—intage she wing that not onely children in mariage ought to haue
stubbornnesse and contempt of parentes wherewithall some run starke mad of a blind â—age do contract vnhonest mariages vnfitting both themselues also their elders pareÌ„ts For in this place the holy scripture setteth forth a coÌ„trarie example and far more honest to be followed when as Isaac marieth Rebeccah according vnto the minde will and counsail of his father These thinges thus considered and this matter so generallie agreed vpon and confirmed also by the approbation and consent of so manie graue godlie and learned witnesses if hen ceforward the pareÌ„ts shal either of negligence or sluggishnesse leaue of their dutie in prouiding of honest matches for their children or their sonnes and daughters contemptuouslie and stubbornlie refuse to stand vnto their godlie and christian choise ignorance will no longer serue to excuse the fault on either side but that it must needes follow that the seruant that knoweth his maisters wil and dooth it not A necessatie aduise vnto parents the same shall bee beaten with many stripes Let fathers therfore on whom the charge by God his commandemeÌ„t lieth to take wiues for their sons and to prouide husbandes for their daughters take diligeÌ„t heed herunto that they abuse not this their power and authoritie ouer their children but as in other cases they are willed by the Apostle that they deal not in such sort towardes them that they hereby bee dismaied and discouraged so especiallie in this matter of greatest moment and valour of all other worldelie thinges whatsoeuer let them absteine from all rigour and roughnesse Colos 3.22 and beware that they turne not their fatherlie iurisdiction and gouernment into a tyranmcall sowernesse and way wardnesse letting their will goe for a lawe and their pleasure for a reason according vnto that olde but both Tiger and Tirant lyke saying Looke what I commaund that will I haue my wil standeth for a reason For the rule of the parentes ouer theyr children ought to resemble the gouernment of good princes towards their subiects that is to say it must be milde gentle and easie to be borne for as they so like wise parents so far as concerneth them and lieth in theyr abilitie to performe they must carrie such an euen and vpright hand in their gouernement Tâ—â—lie in the second book of office that they may by loue seeke to win the hartes of those ouer whome they are set to bee firme and sure to wardes them and not to keepe them vnder awe and subiection by feare For whom men feare they hate and him whom they hate his death they wishe I speake of seruile or slauishe fear not of that child-like and reuerent feare the which both the subiects owe vnto their Princes and the children vnto their parents and the which both the one and the other easilie obtaine at the handes of such as are vnder their gouernment by their equal vpright and moderate behauiour towardes them It doth therefore stand parentes greatly in hand PareÌ„ts ought to deale sincerely in the choife for their children that in making choise for their children they be free from all sinister and corrupt affection and that for lucre couetousnes they seeke not to thrust such matches vpon their children as they cannot brooke nor like well off for now adaies in the choise that a great manie parentes make of husbandes for their daughters and wiues for their sonnes Et genus formaâ— Regina pecunia donat that is if they bee ritch inough they be both faire wel fauoured yea and also godlie and vertuous inough they being farre swarued from the mind iudgement of that father who once said concerning the mariage of his daughter that he had rather haue a man without money then money without a man signifieng hereby that he rather respected the good qualities and vertues of his minde then the great wealth and ritches of his cofers Fathers therfore as they are by good right to choose so ought they not in truth to constraine compel For of al other matters the consent of the children in mariage ought to be most free so that in these cases after all honest and lawful perswasions vsed looke in what partie the fault may be worthelie thought to rest there the godly magistrate ought to put in his foot The godlie magistrate who in some respectes is not onelie in the scriptures comprehended vnder the name of a father but also by his soueraigne auÌ„thoritie wherewithall hee is armed from God himselfe is to rule both the father and all his children and all other that doe belong vnto him I am not able neither is it my purpose to reckon all the colourable pretenses that fathers which are worldlie minded can alleadge to enforce vpon their children what yokefellowes soeuer they haue procured and prouided for them so that they bee rich inough neither yet is it possible for mee to set down all the shiftes that children haue to shake off the yoke of due obedience in their fathers honest and lawfull choises This therefore in all humilitie euen in the bowels of lesus Christ I request at the handes of them both that they seeke not how to bee wise and wittie or rather in deed wilie how to deuise windlesses and starting holes to shrowde and hide themselues in when they should perfourme their duties on either part in this behalfe The children can say for themselues wâ—â— are olde enough The plea of some childreÌ„ for the mâ—â— king of their own matches and therefore able enough to make our own choise we see it to be dayly practised by others yea and peraduenture wâ— doe know as hauing hard our parents sometimes in their merrimentes to bragge of the same our fathers haue matched without the consent of their parentes and haue all this notwithstanding done well ynough and liued verie well why therefore shoulde not wee also doo the like The question here is not The reply what children in regarde either 〈◊〉 age or wit are able for to doo but what God hath thought meet exped eÌ„t nay straightlie charged and commanded that they should doe For there are many children found somtimes far to exceede their fathers in wit and in wisedome yea and in al other gises both of mind body yet is this no good reason that they should take vpon them their fathers anthoritie The wife may not therfore be a maister because she hath more knowledge sometimes then her husbaÌ„d but she must obey the husbande is to rule because that God hath willed that it should bee so And albeit that matches made without the consent of parentes haue often good successe accroding vnto the things which fal out outwardlie in this life yet that is not to bee imputed vnto this disordered and vnnaturall course but vnto God his mercie that alwaies dooth better for vs then wee haue deserued And whereas it is said that our parents haue matched without the choise coÌ„sent of their pareÌ„ts
the good wil leaue of their fathers mothers butalso if we snal look more neerlie into the cause that the choise in mariage belong vnto them Now in â—he tenth place I wil make this plaine also by one cleare testimony and witnes out of the newe Testament the which I take from out of the seauenth Chapiter of the first Epistle of S. Paul vnto the Corinthians whose wordes be these The tenth reason out of the words of Paule 1. Cor. 7.36.37.38 But if any man thinke that it is vncomly for his vingin if shee passe the flowre of her age and neede so require let him doe what he will resinâ—eth not let them be maried Neuertheles he that standeth firme in his heart that he hath no neede but hath power ouer his owne will and hath so decreede in his heart that he wil keepe his virgin he doeth well So then he that grueth her to martage doth wel but he that giueth her not to mariage doth better The purpose of Paul in this place is to giue counsel vnto patentes what course they were best to take for their children concerning their bestowing of them in mariage or letting them remaine single according vnto the assured and certaine knowledge that they haue of their abilitie to liue chast or their neede otherwise to vse that lawfull remedie the which God hath ordained against fornication which is to marie so that those which haue the gift of chastitie hee would not haue constrained to ioine themselues in wedlocke nor those which are not able to be forced to liue single This is brieflie the summe of the place Concerning those children that cannot liue single hee willeth their parentes to looke vnto them betimes least that their too long differring and delaying the matter breed some inconuenience And this is it that hee saieth If ante man thinke that it is vncomely for his virgine if shee passe the flower of her age and neede so require let him doe what he will he sinneth not Let them marie Which last clause plainely teacheth that looke what is saide of the daughter is to be vnderstood also of the son for one cannot be maried alone Speaking therefore in the plurall number he meaneth as well the sonnes as the daughters touching whom this is his counsaile That parenteâ— when their children come once to such yeares that they are readie to marie The summe oâ— the Apostle â—â— his counsaiâ— vnto parenâ—â— in time to pâ—â—uide fit maâ—â—ches for thâ— children should in due time haue consideration hereof not giuing occasion by causing them stay too long either to bee derided or laughed to scorne as stale bachelers or otherwise to bee suspected of bad husbandrie or huswifrie or of pride and disdaining all others being so nice coy that they think none fine enough to match withal or that there is in them some secrete hidden vice or infirmitie the which maketh them vnfit for mariage or otherwise of couetousnesse because they are loth to depart with mony towards their maintenance protracting delaying the time longer then the nature and disposition of their sonnes daughters will beare so that by their means being thus deferred and put off when as they are not able any longer to forbeare their parents neglecting to prouide that remedie for them the which Goâ— hath ordained they burne in lust and commit follie Their fathers and mothers therefore perceiuing that so it ought to be that is their children without feare of some inconuemence cannot tary any longer vnmatied ought worthelie to haue this wise care for them in time to prouide them of fit and honest matches This then is the drist of this place that parentes should by all gentle and faire meanes true out and search the state and disposition of their children towards mariage when by reason of conuenient age they are fit for the some and by conference and questioning with them get from them howe they stand affected this way and accordinglie as they shall haue sure notice how they are giuen to suffer them either to remaine single or els that they as it is their fatherlie dutie doe prouide for them godlie wiues and husbandes The inconuenience that groweth by this that parents followe not Paule his counsaile in prouiding fit matches for their children Thus we see how pregnant and plentifull a text this is to teach that it lieth in the parents to make due choise for their children in the case of matrimonie And because that small regard is had hereof in many now adaies heÌ„ce it commeth that some children giue themselues ouer vnto the lustes of the flesh in coÌ„mitting shamefull filthy fornicatioÌ„ others contrary vnto the lawes both of God and nature breake into the duties of their fathers and vnnaturallie and not child-like without the priuitie consent of their parentes make their owne matches the same for the most part so vntoward that they bring the gray haires of their parentes vnto their griefe and sorrowe to the graue and themselues besides wastfully spending all that they haue liue all their life long in continuall and dailie home braules and houshold strifes and discordes You therefore that be fathers and mothers I most earnestlie and hartilie exhort and beseech you for the loue of God and in the tender bowels and mercie of Iesus Christ our most gratious redeemer An exhortation vnto al parents that you will at the length awake and rouse vp your selues out of this deadlie sleepe of carelesnesse wherewith you haue bene long oppressed making litle or none accountes at all of this waightie and necessarie dutie of prouiding vertuous wiues and husbandes for your sonnes and daughters delay the time hencefoorth no longer put in diligent vre and practise this wholsome counsaile of the Apostle lay off all rigorous austerenes and bitternes and in the spirite of lenitie and mildenesse question and confer talke and reason with your sonnes and daughters when they be come vnto ripe veares that you may learn how they are inclined concerning mariage or sole life and if it bee so that you thinke that through bashfulnesse and shamefastnesse they will not dare to deale plainlie with you nor freelie to vnfolde their mindes vnto you as they would doe vnto some of their familiars let it not grieue you to vse this wise policie to fish out their purpose by some of their friendes vnto whome being great with them they will not bee affraide to vtter the verie bottome of their heartes and inmost secretes And when you shall haue found that it is safest for your honor and meetest for their present estate that you prouide for theÌ„ to marie goe about the same in the feare of God accordinglie with faithfull and earnest praier vnto God Gen. 24.12 after the example of the godly Steward of Abraham in the book of Genesis that he wil both direct you in a vertuous and christian choise and also incline and mooue the heartes of your
often done by vngodlie parentes who sometimes violentlie force husbandes vpon their daughters or that which is worse doe thrust them into Monasteries or Abbeies Nay aboue all thinges the consent of the parentes doth here step in betweene whose office it is to bestow their sonnes or daughters in mariage neither is it their parts rashlie to choose vnto themselues wiues c. For I cite him the more sparinglie because he hath written a learned common place of this argument the which although it be in english yet because so far as I know it is not to be had seuerallie but among the rest of his common places being a booke of too great a price for the poorer sort I haue bene the rather induced and mooued to labour also in this question and that as I trust not without some profite vnto the godlie disposed the which shall vouchsafe to read the same Marlorat after he had said somewhat concerning the choise of a wife Marlorat the which Hagar made for her sonne at the last inferreth thus Wherefore this youth speaking of Ishmaell being a man growen marrieth a wife but not but by the counsaile authoritie of his mother and within a litle space after What then ought the children of the faithfull to perform vnto their parents Doth it not beseme and become them in making of mariage to be led by the power and authority of their parents that they giue not ouer themselues vnto their owne lustes Ferus a popish fryar To like purpose hath Ferus a Popish friar noted vpon Abraham his pronouncing of a wife for Isaac by his Steward These be his wordes Note and marke that Isaac seeketh not a wife but Abraham prouideth him of a wife For this is the duty of parents and belongeth not properly vnto the sonnes whose part it is to obay Borrhaus Borrhaus vpon the 22. of Exodus ver 17 If the father of the maiden refuseto giue her A place for the power of parentes ouer their children in making of mariages that theyr mariages do consist in the arbitremeÌ„t of their parentes Which thing Orestes in Euripides alloweth saiyng And I will praise mariage when as my father shal giue vnto me awife Bullinger 1. Cor. 7 36. Bullinger expounding these wordes of S. Paul in his Epistle vnto the Corinthians But if he thinke it vnseemely for his virgin c. writeth on this sort Hee declareth by examples that which hee hath saide already that there should be no darknes in his words And we may expound that word Virgin as wel for the person as for the thing it selfe namely virginity The meaning is this if a man haue a virgin marriable and nowe ready for a husband for this I vnderstand by that which hee sayeth if shee passe the time of mariage the which Ambrose translateth if she be past ripenes of age and hath a desire to mary that is it which he saith and so it ought to be so that her father is to feare least that secretly she go about or enterprise some thing that is not comely vnles shee be prouided for by mariage now the father sinneth not if hee bestow her forth vpon an husband c. And afterwards we learne by this discourse that it is the dutie of parents to giue their daughters in mariage For among them of old times the contract of matrimony was not of any force Mariage contractes void without the coÌ„s nt of parentes without the authority of the parents Whereunto that in the law of God semeth to appertayn the which is commaunded vnto the Iewes that they should not giue their daughters or theyr sonnes vnto the Heathen in mariage the which should haue bin in vaine if the children had bene at theyr owne liberty and did not rather depend vpon the authority of their parents yet this also must be added that it is the part of parents in time conuenient to take order and prouide for their children and that they compell them not either to virginity or single life or vnto mariage Gualter is iust of the same iudgement vpon the very same place whose words are Câ—aiter But here with all sonnes and daughters must mark that by this place the power of parentes ouer their childreÌ„ is established the which as it is great in other maters so here in especial hath it soueraigne authoritie wheras the question is concerning mariage For if they must prouide for their children in like maner it is their part to obey them least that by their lust and head-strong boldnesse they doe preuent the aduise and pleasure of their parentes For alwaies ought the lawe of God to beare sway with them in the which they are commanded to haue their parentes in price and honour Num. 30. And how great their authority is ouer their sonnes and daughters it is manifest euen by this that their parentes may disanull and breake the vowes which their children haue made without their knowledge and priuitie When as therefore GOD himselfe vouchsafeth to yeelde of his owne right that I may so speake and will not haue that ratified and stand the which is promised vnto himselfe if the parentes determine otherwise they doubtlesse are to be thought to bee too rash and wicked who will not submit their youthfull desires vnto the ordering and disposing of their parentes Neither may this goe for currant that any should pretend age for his excuse For there is no age the which ought to breake the authoritie of parentes established by the lawes of nature And Paule in this place speaketh of virgins the which haue now alreadie passed the flower of their age and mariage yeares and neuerthelesse subiecteth them also vnto the gouernment of their parents when as he teacheth not what they ought to doe but what their parents ought to dispose of them The ciuill lawes This in times past did the makers of the ciuil lawes deserue the which wold haue those ma riages to be void the which are made without the aduise and consent of parents vnlesse some waightie case doe will them to be ratified and stand in force Agreeable vnto this also doeth Hemingius set downe his iudgement vpon this place but in fewer wordes thus Hemingius Now he turneth his speach vnto parentes hauing daughters of growen yeares vnto whom he giueth authoritie to bestowe their daughters in mariage if they will But that which he putteth in betweene and so it ought to be is a restraint and it is to be vnderstood thus If the maiden be without the gift of chastitie it ought so to be namelie that she be giuen to be maried to auoid fornication On the other side if a virgine haue the gift of chastitie it is left free vnto the parentes to marie them and not to marie them From hence let parents learne that it is not lawfull for them to lay vpon their children a perpetual law of chastitie vnlesse they be first sure that they haue