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son_n brother_n daughter_n sister_n 75,810 5 11.5950 5 true
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A66707 Poor Robin's jests: or, The compleat jester Being a collection of several jests not heretofore published. Now newly composed and written by that well-known gentleman, Poor Robin, knight of the burnt island, and well-willer to the mathematicks. Together with the true and lively effigies of the said author. Licensed Feb. 2. 1666. Roger L'Estrange. Poor Robin.; Winstanley, William, 1628?-1698. 1667 (1667) Wing W3075A; ESTC R221040 62,408 171

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wherefore do you cry The Weaver perceiving how he was beguil'd Marry said he I weep because you were not hanged when your Vnkle was The skilful Physitian THere was a Physitian who pretended by his skill in casting of Urines to tell what distemper any man was troubled with a woman whose husband had fallen down a pair of stairs went with her husbands ●ater to this cunning Leach who having by discourse pumpt out as much as he could of the Woman at last guest that he fell down eight stairs but the woman making it appear that it was eleven he asked her if there were all the water she confessing there was some left O then said he there went the three stairs away The Gardiner and his wife A Gardner being to be hanged his wife followed him to the Gallows to give him her last kiss who spying her said Out upon ye you idle quean we are to like thrive well at the years end when there cannot be a meeting in the Country but you must be at it home and weed houswife home and weed and do not stand loytering here A Tinkers Character ONe said that a Tinker was no coward but a man of Metle and that a canting Rogue was an enemy to Hostlers because he was of the Infantry and always went on foot Of early rising A Father chid his Son for lying so long abed in the morning telling him that such a one with early rising had found a bag of gold to whom the son answer'd Too early rose he father that lost it Of Roger Bale ONe Roger Bale a poor Carpenter but a good Workman was for his skill employed chief Master in the building of a Bridge whereby he gained so much that he became a rich man And in ostentation upon one of the main Posts thereof engraved these words Roger Bale made this Bridge another came after and wrote underne●th with a coal This Bridge made Roger Bale Of Wood the great eater WOod the great eater of Kent having over-cloy'd himself with feeding too much upon a wager being invited to some more teeth-exploits the next day he complained that he had lost his stomack Well said one that stood by if a poor man happen to finde the same he is for certain utterly undone The Parson and his man A Certain Parson sent his man one Sunday morning to one Davids a Butcher for some meat for his Dinner Mean while he went to Church to Preach and having taken out his Text was reciting many authorities out of Scripture for the proof of the same And now says he what says David to this matter Just as he said this in steps his man at the Church-door and hearing him talk of David said aloud N● more meat he swears unless you pay his the old score Of Musitians A Gentleman being asked his opinion concerning Musitians said that si● were a Consort five Musitians four Fidlers and three Rogues A cunning Lass A Bridegroom the first night he was in bed with his Bride said unto her When as at such a time I sollicited thy chastity hadst thou then condescended I would never have made thee my wife for I did 〈◊〉 onely to try thee Faith said she I imagined as much but I had been cozened so three or four times before and I was resolved to be cozen'd so no more The slender-witted Gentleman IN Spain and those other Countries where the Pope hath Dominion the Bishops marry not A Spanish Gentleman who had ● slender-witted son on a time he taught him how to entertain guests with some discourse as to ask them How doth your Wife and your Children your Brother and Sister c. The next day a Bishop came to this Gentlemans house and the Wise-acre his son thus saluted him I pray you my Lord how doth your Wife and your Children your Sons and your Daughters your Brothers and your Sisters c. Easier to come down then go up A Certain Preacher who desired higher preferment on a time after his Sermon was ended coming down the Pulpit a Gentleman proffer'd him his hand to help him down Pardon me Sir said he may it please you rather to help me up for I can come down alone fast enough The Fryar and Woman A Fryar being very busie in his Sermon espyed a woman as busie in talk to one of her Gossips whereupon he called to her and said Thou woman in the tawny Gown there leave thy babling The woman angry to be reprehended thus openly quickly answer'd I beshrew his heart that bableth most of us two The Dominican and Franciscan Fryars A Dominican and a Franciscan Fryar travelling together on the way came to a Brook where the Dominican requested the Franciscan because he was bare-foot to carry him over upon his back to which he willingly condescended and being in the midst of the Channel he said to the Dominican Tell me Brother have you any mony about ye The Dominican thinking he looked for something for his pains answered Yes then said the Franciscan You know my Order allows me to carry no mony about me and I am resolved not to break my Vow and thereupon threw the Dominican off of his back into the water who soundly drenched all too late repented his over-much credulity in trusting to the Franciscans carrying him over The learned Conies SOme Scholars on a time going to steal Conies by the way they warn'd a Novice amongst them to make no noise for spoiling their Game But he no sooner espyed some but he cryed out aloud Ecc● Cuniculli multi Whereupon the Conies ran with all speed into their berries his fellows chiding him therefore Who the Devil said he would have thought that the Conies had understood Latine A poor Scholars pittance A Thin slice of cheese being set before a Scholar as soon as he saw it he laid his finger on his mouth and being asked why he did so he answered Lest my breath should blow it away Of Dr. Mathews One Dr. Mathew a very learned man but of little stature one seeing him pass along the Street called him in jest Minimus Apostolorum which he over-hearing merrily answer'd yet is Mathew Maximus Evangelistarum The turning Doctor AN old Doctor which had been a Protestant in King Edwards days a Papist in Queen Maries days and a Protestant again in Queen Elizabeths seeing a Lady dance a Galliard commended her dancing very much to which she answer'd That she knew she danc'd well enough onely she could not turn so well as he Physitians and Lawyers IT was once a great controversie in the University of Leyden between the Physick and Law-Doctors which should have precedency and go foremost at Commencements The Chancellor being deputed to decide this Controversie asked them whether at an Execution the Fellon or the Hang-man went foremost and it being answered the Fellon Then ye Lawyers said he go ye foremost as Thieves and ye Physitians follow after as Hang-men A Musitian A Musitian who had a very good