Lodge and all of theyr backes this morning bin fayne to pawne it afore night and they that ha stauked like a huge Elephant with a Castle on theyr neckes and remooued that to their owne shoulders in one day which their fathers built vp in seuen yeare bin glad by my meanes in so much time as a childe suckes to drinke bottle Ale tho a punk pay for t And shal this Parat instruct me Went. Nay but Franke Ilf. A roge that hath fed vpon me the fruit of my wit like Pullen from a Pantlers chipings and now I put him into good cloths to shift two sutes in a day that could scare shift a patcht shirt once in a yeare and sayes prayers when he had it hark how he prates Went. Besides Franke since his marriage he stawkes me like a cashierd Captaine discontent in which Melancholy the leaste drop of mirth of which thou hast an Ocean will make him and all his ours for euer Ilf. Sayes mine owne Roge so giue mee thy hand then wee le do ot and there 's earnest Strikes him Sfut you Chittiface that lookes worse then a Collier thorough a woodden window an Ape afeard of a whip or a Knaues head shooke seauen yeares in the weather vpon London-bridge Do you Catechize me Wen. Nay but valorous Franke he that knowes the secrets of al harts knowes I did it in kindnes Ilf. Know your seasons besides I am not of that Species for you to instruct Then know your seasons Bart. Sfut friends friends al friends Here comes young Scarborrow should he knew of this all our disseignes were preuented Enter Scarborrow Ilf. What melancholy my young maister my young marryed man God giue your worship ioy Scar. Ioy of what Franke Ilf. Of thy wealth for I heare of few that ha ioy of heir wiues Scar. Who weds as I haue to inforced sheets His care increaseth but his comfort fleets Ilf. Thou hauing so much witte what a Deuill meantst thou to marry Scar. O speake not of it Marriage sounds in mine care like a Bell Not rung for pleasure but a dolefull knell Ilf. A common course those men that are married in the Morning to wish themselues buried ere night Scar. I cannot loue her Ilf. No newes neither wiues know that 's a generall fault amongst their Husbands Scar. I will not ly with her Ilf. Cetera volunt shee le say still if you wil not another wil Scar. Why did she marry me knowing I did not loue her Ilf. As other women do either to bee maintaind by you or to make you a Cuckold Now sir what come you for Enter Clowne Clow. As men do in hast to make an end of their busines Ilf. What 's your busines Clow. My busines is this Sir this Sir and this Sir Ilf. The meaning of al this Sir Cl. By this is as much as to say Sir may Mai has sent vnto you By this is as much as to say Sir my maister has him humbly commended vnto you and by this is as much as to say my master craues your answere Ilf. Giue me your Letter And you shal haue this Sir this Sir and this Sir Clow. No Sir Ilford Why Sir Clow. Because as the learned haue very well instructed me Qui supranos nihil ad nos and tho many Gentlemen will haue to doe with other mens busines yet from me know the most part of them proue knaues for their labor Went. You ha the Knaue yfaith Franke Clo. Long may hee liue to enioy it From Sir Iohn Harcop of Harcop in the County of Yorke Knight by me his man to your selfe my young maister by these presents greeting Ilf. How camst thou by these good words Clow. As you by your good cloaths tooke them vpon trust swore I would neuer pay for em Scar. Thy maister Sir Iohn Harcop writes to me That I should entertaine thee for my man His wish is acceptable thou art welcome fellow Oh but thy maisters Daughter sends an Article Which makes me thinke vpon my present sinne Here she remembers me to keepe in minde My promis'd faith to her which I ha broke Here she remembers me I am a man Black tore with periury whose sinfull breast Is Charactred like those curst of the blest Ilf. How now my young Bully like a young wench forty weeks after the losse of her Mayden-head crying out Scar. Trouble me not Giue me Pen Inke and Paper I will write to her O but what shall I write Mine owne excuse why no excuse can serue For him that swears and from his oth doth swarue Or shall I say my marriage was in so rest T was bad in them not well in me to yeeld Wretched thee to whose marriage was compeld I le onely write that which my graue hath bred Forgiue me Clare for I am married T is soone set downe but not so soone forgot or worne from hēce Deliuer it vnto her there 's for thy paines Would I as soone could cleanse these periurd staines Clow. Well I could alter mine eies from filthy mud into fair water you haue paid for my teares and mine eyes shal proue bankerouts and breake out for you let no man perswade me I will cry and euery Towne betwixt Shoreditch-church and Yorke bridge shall beare me witnesse Exit Scar. Gentlemen I le take my leaue of you She that I am married to but not my wife Will London leaue in Yorkeshire lead our life Ilf. We must not leaue you so my young Gallant We three are sicke in state and your wealth must helpe to make vs whole againe For this saying is as true as old Strife nurst twixt man and wife makes such a flaw How great so ere 's their wealth t wil haue a thaw Enter Sir Iohn Harcop with his Daughter Clare and two younger Brothers Thomas and Iohn Scarborrow Har. Brothers to him ere long shall be my sonne By wedding this young girle You are welcome both Nay kisse her kisse tho that she shall Be your Brothers wife to kisse the cheeke is free Tho. Kisse Sfut what else thou art a good plumpe wench I like you well prethee make hast and bring store of boyes but bee sure they haue good faces that they may call me vnckle Io. Glad of so faire a sister I salute you Har. Good good y faith this kissings good y faith I lou'd to smacke it too when I was young But Mum they haue felt thy cheek Clare let them hear thy tung Clar. Such welcome as befits my Scarborrows brothers From me his troth-plight wife be sure to haue And tho my tongue proue scant in any part The bounds be sure are large full in my hart Tho. Tut that 's not that we dout on wench but do you heare Sir Iohn what doe you thinke drue mee from London and the Innes of Court thus farre into Yorkshire Har. I gesse to see this girle shal be your sister Tho. Faith and I gesse partly so too but the maine was and I will
maister hopes to grow rich before he leaues him Io. How long hath he continued heere since he came hether Draw Faith Sir not so long as Noahs floude yet long enough to haue drowned vp the liuings of three Knights as Knights goes now adaies some moneth or there abouts Iohn Time ill consumed to ruinate our house But what are they that keepe him company Draw Pitch Pitch but I must not say so but for your further satisfaction did you euer see a young whelpe and a Lyon plaie together Iohn Yes Draw Such is maister Scarborrows company Within Oliuer Draw Anon anon looke downe to the Pomgranate there Tho. I prethee say heere 's them would speake with him Draw I le do your message Anon anon there Exit Iohn This foole speakes wiser then he is aware young heires left in this towne where sins so ranke And prodigals gape to grow fat by them Are like young whelps throwne in the Lyons den Who play with them awhile at length deuoure them Enter Scarborrow Scar. Whos 's there would speake with me Iohn Your Brothers who are glad to see you well Scar, Well Iohn T is not your ryot that we heare you vse With such as wast their goods as Time the world With a continuall spending nor that you keepe The companie of a most Leprous route Consumes your bodies wealth infects your name With such Plague-sores that had you reasons eie T would make you sicke to see you visit them Hath drawne vs but our wants to craue the dew Our father gaue and yet remaines with you Tho. Our Byrth-right good brother this Towne craues mainteinance silke stockings must be had and we would be loath our heritage should be arraigned at the Vintners bar and so condemned to the Vintners box though while you did keepe house wee had some Belly-timber at your Table or so yet wee would haue you think we are your Brothers yet no Esaus to sell our patrimony for Porridge Scar. So so what hath your comming else Io. With vs our sister ioynes in our request Whom we haue brought along with vs to London To haue her portion wherewith to prouide An honord seruice or an honest bride Scar. So then you two my Brothers and she my sister come not as in duty you are bound to an elder brother out of Yorkshire to see vs but like leaches to sucke from vs Io. We come compeld by want to craue our owne Scar. Sir for your owne then thus be satisfied Both hers and yours were left in trust with me And I will keepe it for ye Must you appoint vs Or what we please to like mixt with reproofe You haue bin to sawcy both and you shall know I le curbe you for it aske why I le haue it so Io. We do but craue our owne Scar. Your owne sir what 's your owne Tho. Our portions giuen vs by our fathers will Io. Which here you spend Tho. Consume Io. Wayes worse then ill Scar. Ha ha ha Enter Ilford Ilf. Nay nay nay Wil prethy come away we haue a full gallon of Sacke staies in the fire for thee thou must pledge it to the health of a friend of thine Scar. What dost thinke these are Franke Ilf. They are Fidlers I thinke if they be I preethe sende them into the next roome and let them scrape there and wee ll send to them presently Scar. They are my brothers Franke come out of Yorkeshire To the Tauerne here to aske their portions they call my pleasures ryots my company Leproes like a school boy they would tutor me Ilf. O thou shouldst haue done wel to haue bound them prentises when they were young they woulde haue made a couple of sawcy Taylers Tho. Taylers Ilf. I Birdlime Taylers Taylours are good men and in the Terme time they weare good Cloathes Come you must learne more manners stand at your Brothers backe as to shift a Treancher neately and take a Cuppe of Sacke and a Capons legge contentedly Tho. You are a slaue That feeds vpon my brother like a flie Poysoning where thou dost sucke Scar. You lie Io. O to my griefe I speake it you shall find There 's no more difference in a Tauern-haunter Then is betweene a Spittle and a Begger Tho. Thou workst on him like Tempests on a ship Io. And he the worthy Trafficke that doth sinke Tho. Thou makst his name more loathsome then a graue Io. Liuest like a Dog by vomit Tho. Die a slave Heere they draw Wentlo and Bartley come in and the two Vintners boyes with Clubbes All set vpon the two Brothers Butler Scarborrows man comes in stands by sees them fight takes part with neyther But. Do fight I loue you all well because you were my olde masters sonnes but I le neither part you nor be partaker with you I come to bring my mast newes he hath two sons borne at a birth in Yorkshire and I find him together by the ears with his brothers in a Tauerne in London Brother and brother at ods t is naught sure it was not thus in the days of charity What 's this world lyke to Faith iust like an Inne-keepers Chamber-pot receiues all waters good and bad It had need of much scouring My old mast kept a good house and twenty or thirty tall sworde and Buckler men about him and y fayth his sonne differs not much he wil haue mettle to tho he hath not store of Cutlers blades he will haue plentie of Vintners pots His father kept a good house for honest men his Tenants that brought him in part and his son keeps a bad de house with Knaues that helpe to consume al T is but the change of time why shoulde any man repyne at it Crekits good liuing and lucky wormes were wont to feede sing and reioyce in the fathers chimney and nowe Carrion Crowes builds in the sons Kitchen I could be sorry for it but I am too old to weepe Well then I will go tel him newes of his of-springs Exit Enter the two brothers Thomas and Iohn Scarborrow hurt and sister Sist. Alas good Brothers how came this mischance Tho. Our portions our brother hath giuen vs our portions sister hath he not Sist. He would not be so monstrous I am sure Io. Excuse him not he is more degenerate Then greedy Vipers that deuoure their mother They eat on her but to preserue themselues And he consumes himselfe and Beggers vs A Tauerne is his Inne where amongst Slaues He kils his substance making pots the graues To bury that which our forefathers gaue I askt him for our portions told him that you Were brought to London and we were in want Humbly we crau'd our owne when his Reply Was he knew none we had beg starue or die Sist. Alas what course is left for vs to liue by then Tho In troth sister we two to beg in the fields And you to betake your selfe to the old trade Filling of smal Cans in the suburbes Sist Shall I be left
then like a common road That euery beast that can but pay his tole May trauel ouer and like to Cammomil Flourish the better being trodden on Enter Butler bleeding But, Well I will not curse him he seedes now vppon Sacke Anchoues with a pox to him but if he be not faine before he dies to eate Acornes let me liue with nothing but pollerd and my mouth be made a Cooking stoole for euery scolde to set her tayle on Tho. How now Butler what 's the meaning of this But. Your brother meanes to lame as many as he can that is a begger himselfe many liue with him in the Hospital His wife sent me out of Yorkshire to tell him that God had blest him with two sonnes he bids a plague of them a vengeance of her crosses mee ore the pate and sendes mee to the Surgeons to seeke salue I lookt at least he should haue giuen me a brace of Angels for my paines Tho. Thou hast not lost all thy longing I am sure he hath giuen thee a crackt crowne But. A plague on his fingers I cannot tel he is your Brother my maister I would be loath to Prophesie of him but who soere doth cursse his Children being Infants ban his wife lying in childbed and beats his man brings him newes of it they may bee borne rich but they shall liue Slaues be Knaues and die Beggers Sist. Did he do so But. Gesse you he bid a plague of them a vengeance on her sent me to the Surgeons Sist. Why then I see there is no hope of him Some husbandes are respectles of their wiues During the time that they are yssulesse But none with Infants blest can nourish hate But loue the mother for the childrens sake Io. But hee that is giuen ouer vnto sin Leprosed therewith without and so within O Butler we were yssue to one father But. And he was an honest Gentleman Io. Whose hopes were better then the sunne he left Should set so soon vnto his houses shame He liues in Tauernes spending of his wealth And heere his Brothers and distressed Sister Not hauing any meanes to helpe vs with Tho. Not a Scots Baubee by this hand to blesse vs with Io. And not content to ryot out his owne But he detaines our portions suffers vs In this strange Ayre open to euery wracke Whilst he in ryot swims to be in lacke But. The more 's the pitty Sist. I know not what course to take me to Honesty faine would liue What shall I do But. Sooth I le tell you your brother hath hurt vs We three will hurt you and then go all to a spittle together Sist. Iest not at her whose burden is too greuous But rather lend a meanes how to releeue vs But. Well I doe pitty you and the rather because you sale you woulde faine liue honest and want meanes for it for I can tell you t is as strange heere to see a maid faire poore and honest as to see a Collier with a cleane face Maids heere do liue especially without maintenance Like Mice going to a trap They nibble long at last they get a clap Your father was my good Benifactor and gaue me a house whilst I liue to put my head in for I would be loth then to see his onely daughter for want of meanes turne punk I haue a drift to keepe you honest Haue you a care to keepe your selfe so yet you shall not know of it for womens tounges are like siues they will holde nothing they haue power to vent You two wil further me Iohn In any thing good honest Butler Tho. I ft be to take a purse I le be one But. Perhaps thou speakest righter then thou art aware of wel as chance it I haue receiued my wages there is forty shillings for you I le set you in a lodging and till you heare from vs let that prouide for you wee le first to the surgeons To keepe you honest and to keepe you braue For once an honest man will turne a Knaue Exeunt Enter Scarborrow hauing a Boy carrying a Torch with him Ilford Wentlo and Barley Scar. Boy bear the Torch faire Now am I armd to fight with a Wind-mill and to take the wall of an Emperor Much drinke no money A heauy head and a light paire of heeles Went. O stand man Scar. I weare an excellent creature to make a Punk of I should downe with the least touch of a knaues finger thou hast made a good night of this What hast won Franke Ilf. A matter of nothing some hundred pounds Scar. This is the hel of al gamsters I thinke when they are at play the boord eases vp the money For if there be fiue hundred pound lost there 's neuer but a hundred pounds wonne Boy take the wall of any man and yet by light such deedes of darkness may not be Put out the Torch Went. What dost meane by that Will Scar. To saue charge and walke like a Fury with a fire-brande in my hand euery one goes by the light wee l go by the smoke Enter Lord Faulconbridge Scar. Boy keepe the Wall I will not budge for any man by these Thumbs and the paring of the Nayles shal stick in thy teeth not for a world Lord Whos 's this young Scarborrow Scar. The man that the Mare rid on Lord Is this the reuerence that you owe to me Scar. You should haue brought me vp better Lord That vice should thus transforme man to a beast Scar. Go to your names Lorde I le talke with you when your out a debt and ha better cloaths Lord I pitty thee euen with my very soule Scar. Pitty i th thy throat I can drinke Muscadine and Egges and Muld sack do you heare you put a peece of turnd stuffe vpon me but I wil Lord What will you do Sir Scar. Pisse in thy way and that 's no slander Lord Your sober blood wil teach you otherwise Enter Sir William Scarborrow S. Will. My honoured Lord your happily wel met Lord Ill met to see your Nephew in this case More like a brute Beast then a Gentleman S. wil. Fi Nephew shame you not thus to transform your self Scar. Can your nose smell a Torch Ilf. Be not so wilde it is thine Vnckle Scarborrow Scar. Why then t is the more likely t is my Fathers brother sir wil. Shame to our name to make thy selfe a Beast Thy body worthy borne and thy youths brest Tyld in due time for better discipline Lo. Thy selfe new married to a Noble house Rich in possessions and Posterity Which should cal home thy vnstaid affections S. will Where thou makst havock Lo. Ryot spoyle and wast Syr willi. Of what thy father left Lor. And liuest disgracst Scar. I le send you shorter to heauen then you came to the earth do you Catechize Do you Catechize He drawes and strikes at them Ilf. Hold hold do you draw vpon your vnckle Scar. Pox of that Lord Wee le meet