then himself and dwelt in that man and the latter end of that man was worse then his beginning When I heard this I feared my heart feared I feared that my repentance and praying and all was nought and that God hath almost quite cast me off Then I considered how I fell into these sins I remembred that the Serpent did deceive the woman she the man and thereby brought sin and thereupon God punished both the man and the woman Hearing this my heart thought Surely I am a great sinner and I was born in sin because my parents were sinners and so am I I have sinned against God and I was born in sin My Parents broke that Command Thou shalt have no other gods but Mee but they served many gods and so did I and therefore the earth bringeth forth thorns and weeds unto man when he laboreth therefore by this I remembred my troublesom life and all is because God is offended at me because of my sins And then I remembred that many of my children are dead this is Gods punishment on me because of my sins Sometime men punished me and were offended at me but now I remembred my sins against God and I saw that the punishments of God are a greater matter Again I heard that word that hee that keepeth his word shall finde mercy I thought so it is indeed but I am a sinner I considered what I should do because I was a sinner and born in sin and have lived in sin I considered assuredly there is a God and God made heaven and earth and all that is therein and all destructions and deaths are the work of God I remembred my vain praying to God and considered what to do I confessed my sins before God and begged pardon for Christ his sake I did finde I could not deliver my self but Christ only is my deliverer and my heart desired to believe and pray to him and yet knew not what to do nor how to please God and get pardon only I prayed Oh Christ deliver mee because I am a sinner and know not what to do Then I remembred that God layeth on us two deaths in this world First the soul is dead and wee are made guilty of Adams sin and have lost Gods Image and hereby my soul is a fool and hereby my soul is dead and a man dead can do nothing nor speak nor go nor stand and verily so is my soul dead and I shall fall to eternal damnation by sin Therefore now I cry to God to help mee for I am throughly a sinner After I heard that God pardoneth penitent believers and I remember the word of Ionas when he was almost cast off he repented and God made a Whale to eat him up and then he looked to God and cryed for mercy and then I saw that if I cry for mercy and believe I shall have pardon I heard that Christ healed all manner of diseases therefore I believed that Christ is the Son of God able to heal and pardon all Now I confess I know nothing almost nothing at all Again Christ saith Hee that is not with mee is against mee my heart said True it is so so must I do I must be with Christ and Hee that gathereth not scattereth I said So it is with mee I have so done I scatter and am a stranger to Christ And I did not truly love them that prayed to God but I was a stranger in heart unto them But now I desire in my heart to do as they do and our poor teaching I desire to obey it and do what God bids and what he saith you shall not do that I desire not to do But yet again I do sin and my sins troubled me by hearing the word of God and yet I would do them I heard that God will pardon all kinde of sins that men sin but the sin against the Holy Ghost shall not be pardoned in this world nor in that which is to come Then I fear'd that I was such an one and that God would not pardon me Then I earnestly entreated God to pardon and deliver me because he was the true deliverer Again I heard that word that they that are well need not the Physitian but the sick My heart said True I did even so I sought not help when I was well but now I remember my sins and now my soul is dead and now I desire that my soul may live and I desire the Physitian of my soul to heal mee and Christ will not in vain heal souls but such as convert from sin and believe in Christ their sins Christ pardoneth this my soul doth earnestly beseech of Christ and else I know not what to do Again I heard that Christ dyed for our sins when we are sinners Again Mat. 26. Christ saith This is my blood of the New Testament which is shed for many for the remission of sins my heart said Yea Lord let it be so for my soul and let me not be a stranger any more before thee I know not what to do Lord help I desire to be washed from all my filthy sins and to be baptized as a sign of it I am as a dead man in my soul and desire to live Ponampam A Little I shall speak I was young about 8 years old when my father lived I did play as other children did and my father did chide me for playing I wondered at it for he said we shall all die I wondered and sat amazed about half an hour but I soon forgot it That Winter the Pox came and almost all our kindred dyed I and my mother came to the Bay and there dwelt till we pray'd to God but I did nothing but sin as the rest of the world did Then hearing the word of God I heard that from the rising of the sun to the setting thereof my Name shall be known among the Gentiles therefore all must pray to God But my heart did not desire that but to go away to some other place But remembring the word of God that all shall pray to God Then I did not desire to go away but to pray to God But if I pray afore the Sachems pray I fear they will kill me and therefore I will not pray But yet when others prayed I prayed with them and I thought if I run away to other places they will pray too therefore I will pray here Then on a Sabbath none taught and some bid me teach what the Minister had taught us but I feared and durst not for fear of the Sachems yet they urged me and I did And I taught them what I remembred and they were angry at me and we fell out and I went away I thought that my praying would be in vain and I laid by praying and there was Paw-wauing but I doubted to do that because I had prayed and I did think they would laugh at me After I returned again and was among them which prayed but my heart
saith The Tree that brings not forth good fruit is cut down and cast into the fire My heart said sure so is my heart and I have deserved to be cast into the fire I have brought forth such fruits as may justly cut me down Again I heard the word of Christ He that heareth the Word and doeth it shall be blessed Then my heart said I have deserved not to be pardoned but I beg for mercy Again the word saith This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased My heart said sure God is merciful to send his own Son and Christ is merciful that he came and died for us Again I heard that the Tempter came to Christ and said If thou be the Son of God make these stones bread But Christ said man liveth not by bread only but by every word which cometh out of the mouth of God Then I believed that Christ was the Son of God and that my Soul liveth not by bread but by the Word of God Again Mat. 8. the Leper came to Christ and said Lord if thou wilt thou canst make me whole and Iesus touched him and he was healed Then my heart said surely Christ is the Son of God and he only can heal my sins Again I heard in Mat. 6. If ye forgive one another God forgiveth you Then my heart said I desire to do this else God will be angry with me Again I heard Mat. 9. all diseased came to Christ the blind halt c and he healed them therefore I believed that he was the Son of God and I begged of Christ to pardon my sins and save me because sure he is Christ the Son of God Again the word saies Not every one that saith Lord Lord shall enter into the Kingdome but he that doth the will of my Father Then my heart said I do fear because I do very weakly obey the Word of God and therefore Christ saith Depart ye workers of iniquity My heart said such an one am I but now I cry to and trust to Christ to pardon all my sins Again I heard Mat. 11. that Christ said Capernaum was lifted up to heaven by the Gospel but should be cast down to hell for refusing it I thought I did now pray iâ— I now fall off I shall perish And again Christ saith It shall be easier for Tyre and Sidon in that day Then my heart said I have deserved the worst of Gods wrath for I believed not the great works of God and therefore I desire pardon of all my sins and to forsake all my sins and to pray to Christ as long as I live Again I heard Mat. 5. That Heaven and Earth shall pass away but not one jot or tittle of the Word of God but all shall be fulfilled Therefore my heart did desire that I may both hear and do the Word of God which will never perish Again I heard Mat. 16 Christ saith Who say ye that I am Peter said Thou art Christ the Son of the living God Christ said Blessed art thou Peter flesh and blood hath not revealed this to thee but my Father and on this Rock I will build my Church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it Therefore my heart believed that God helped me to receive Christ and I desire to take that promise to Peter and my heart joyed more and more in Christ and in the Word of God Again I heard Mat. 26. Iesus took bread and blessed it and brake it and gave it and said Take eat this is my body which is broken for you and likewise the Cup c. saying This is my blood in the New Testament which was shed for remission of sins c. My heart said sure Christ is full of love and hath given us great mercy and I desire to partake of it Again the wicked did kill Christ but he rose again and ascended to heaven then my heart believed Christ Again I heard Iohn 14. No man cometh to the Father but by me My heart said so be it Lord I desire to come to God by Christ and I said Why did the wicked kill Christ My heart said I believe that Christ died for my sin and therefore I desire to believe in Christ Then my heart did joy in Christ and to heartle Word of God but yet to this day I have doubts in my heart my heart is weak to this day And now I know that in six daies God made the world and before that God I desire to confess my sins and forsake them and no more to do them Sometimes my heart is in an ill frame and loveth sin and my heart hateth good therefore I desire the free Mercy of Christ to hold and keep my Soul When he had finished and I had read before the assembly this confession of his we called upon the witnesses to co-attest Who did in the same order as before express themseves to the like purpose Only when we called for Tho Stanton his sonnes they were not present nor did they any more appeare in the Congregation to attest the Indians confessions all the day Ponampiam He was next called forth and thus spake I Confess my sinnes before the Lord and his people this day While my Father lived and I was young I was at play and my Father rebuked me and said we shall all die shortly In private we asked him what ground or reason moved his Father so to speak he answered it was when the English were new come over and he thinketh that his Father had heard that Mr Wilson had spoken of the flood of Noah how God drowned all the world for the sinnes of the people Then I was troubled and thought sure what God saith shall be and not what man saith but I quickly forgot this and thought not of any good That same Winter the pox came all my kindred died only my Mother and I lived we came to Cohannit by Dorchester where I lived till I was a man and married All those daies I sinned and prayed to all gods and did as others did there I lived till the Minister came to teach us When I heard that they prayed my heart desired it not Sometime I prayed among them and sometime I neglected it I feared to pray because of the Sachems therefore I put it off for the fear of man Afterward I considered in my heart to pray to God not because I loved the word but for other reasons I heard that Word Mal. 1. From the rising of the Sun to the going down thereof my name shall be great among the Gentiles and in every place incense shall be offered unto my name and a pure offering for my name shall be great among the heathen saith the Lord of hosts Then I was troubled in my thoughts about running away yet then I thought if I should go to another place they must pray also and therefore I cannot flie from praying to God therefore I tarried and when others prayed I prayed
word Mat. 12. The unclean spirit being cast out of a man he walketh about seeking rest and findeth none then hee returneth and bringeth 7 other spirits with him worse then himself and the end of that man is worse then his beginning When I heard this my heart feared I thought now I repent of my many sins for verily I am a great sinner I have offended I am 7 times worse then before I prayed then I repented Again I heard that Word He that penitently believeth shall be saved and then my heart did desire to repent and believe then I thought that men will not forgive me and therefore it is not good to abide in this place but I remembred that I had learned to read the Word and if I should forsake my friends I should lose the Word of God Then I heard that Word Repent for the Kingdome of Heaven is at hand my heart said ô let it be so and then my heart rested but yet quickly it was unquiet again Then I did strongly desire to repent of my sinnes I heard that Word that God Sowed good seed but evill seed was sowen by the Enemy and such were in my heart and as in my field there were many roots and weeds which spoyled the corne and I plucked them up and cast them out my heart said verily just so is my heart the Word is but a little in my heart and there be many ill roots in me and therefore God may justly cast me out from among his people because of my many sinnes Then my heart said I desire to pray to God as long as I live and now I forsake my sins who have been a great sinner Now I beg of Christ O give me thy spirit that I may confess my sins before God and not only before men again I remember that I cannot pardon or help my self but only Christ must help me Again I heard that Word All manner of sin shall be forgiven to a man but the sin against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven in this world nor in the world to come Then my heart feared because many and great were my sins since I prayed to God and I cried to God for mercy and pardon and then I thought I will pray to God as long as I live But verily I am a sinner for I am guilty not only of Adams sin but of my own sins also and they are many I remember that in Catechisme I learn that God made a Covenant of works with Adam Do the Commands and thou shalt live and thy seed also but if thou sin thou shalt die and thy seed also therefore by that I know I am a sinner and have deserved to die Then I crie to God O God have mercy upon me and pardon me Again I heard of the mercy of God but I am forgetfull and cannot remember Gods mercies to me God made a Covenant with Abraham and said I will be thy God and the God of thy seed after thee then my heart said O let it be so to me O Lord And now Abraham is in heaven who believed and kept Gods Covenant So I if I believe and keep Gods Covenant God will have mercy on me I remembred the Covenant of Circumcision to him and all his family and such a Covenant I desire for me and mine Again I heard Mat. 3. In those daies Iohn baptized in Iordan saying Repent for the Kingdome of God is at hand When I heard this my heart said the same is now with us not Abrahams signe but baptisme and therefore I desire to repent and Confess before God and before the Church and I desire not only to confess but to have repentance and faith that I may have grace mercy and pardon and such repentance as workes obedience Again the same Word saith vers. 6. They were baptized confessing their sins So I desire to do I do confess before God and desire to cast off and forsake my sins and to go to Christ The promise of pardon is to them that penitently believe and rest on Christ In the same Baptism of Iohn he said I baptize you with water but he that cometh after me is mightier then I he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost and fire Now this Baptism I desire and not to receive the signe in vain I desire to purge out evill thoughts and therefore I confess these sins before God that they may be purged and I desire the spirit of God may dwell in me for ever to turn me to Christ I cannot of my self do any of these things but only Christ Jesus can by his spirit in me Again I heard another word As the Eagles are about a carkass so believers come to Christ then my heart said So be it Oh Lord when I receive the Covenant of God I am like the Eagles when I come to Christ I desire not to come in vain but if I feed not I shall die my soul will die Then I greatly begged that I might feed my soul on Christ and Oh Christ send thy spirit into my heart that I may not only know but do the Word of God Again Christ near his death took bread and blest it and broke it and gave it to his disciples and said Take yee eat yee this is my Body which was broken for you And so also he did the Cup and said Drink yee of it this is the Cup of my blood in the New Testament which is shed for the remission of sins Now this believers in Christ must do not only to eat Bread and to take the Sign but soul food therefore Christ sending his spirit and helping me I desire to receive the Sign not in vain but to help my faith When I had read this Confession in the Assembly we called upon the witnesses as before wee did whose answer was to the like purpose as before Wutasakompauin He was next called forth who thus spake HElp me Oh Jesus Christ to confess before the Lord Oh I am full of sin because Adams sin made mine and so was a sinner in my mothers womb When I was a youth I found many sins and after I was grown up I did the same alwaies all the daies of my life I lived in sin After the English came I went to their houses they would teach me about God but I hated it and went out I did not love such teaching Afterward the Minister taught and at first Waban perswaded me to pray and taught us I did not at first like it yet afterward I did Four years the Minister came to Noonantam I came but I only came I lost all he taught After I considered one word the Minister said That God sent him to teach us then I thought surely there is a God therefore I must believe and pray a little I believed but when I heard I did only outwardly hear After my wife and children died and then I almost cast off praying I had another wife and she died also