Yea dost thou not abhor thy self judg and pass on thy self the sentance of condemnatior to be thy due desert and that it were just with God if he had cast thee into hell long ago No no hypocrite ever was willing to have this filthy sink of his wholly laid open to God as thou my Soul art But did God leave thee in this miserable wretched desperate and damnable condition thou art in by nature since the fall of Adam whose 〈◊〉 thou wert then in and so guilty of his sin and not only so but deprived of that Image of God that there is in thee nothing that is good noâ— a strange averseness and unpâ—ness to all good and a pronness and readiness to all evil No no for ever blessed praised and magnified be my good God that out of his own free and unspeakable love infinite mercy and abundant goodness he hath found out a way and shewed thee a way and means to free thee from this misery save and make thee eternally happy that neither Angels not men could do no way whereby no â—â—eature no means in Heaven or Earth 〈◊〉 do it as Acts 4. 12. Neither is there salvatioÌ„ in any other for there is no other name under Heaven given amongst men whereby we must be saved Even then God manifested his superabundant surpassing unsearchable unexpressable incomprehensible love to the utmost to give his only begotten and deerly beloved Son the Lord Jesus Christ the second Person in the Trinity God to take upon him our nature and dye and shed his most pretious blood for sinners of whom thou art chief and in the Gospel God offereth his Son Christ freely to all that will come and drink of this water of Life freely as Rev. 22. 17. therefore as freely to thee as any other Yet further to heighten this wonderful Love of God consider the time when he did this even then when thou desiredst it nor nor soughtst it nay when thou wert an enemy and traytor to him and then for God so infinite in Majesty so to condescend to poor wretched sinful man that had so falâ— and plunged himself into such a woful sinful and damnable condition Oh how great is the riches of his mercy and love Yet God 〈◊〉 not there but behold more in the Gospel he opens the worth Excellency All sufficiency and Fitness of Christ to save thee in particular and he helps thee with grounds and incouragements to beleeve in Christ though but weakly and he doth in some measure strengthen thee to rest and cast thy self on his mercy in Christ because of his promises yea at such times as there is a sense of the waâ—â— of him so David Psalm 42. 5 8 9 11. And now my Soul â—ast thou not not accepted of and imbraced this free offers or render of Christ made to thee by God thy Father in as much as the Gospel is preached to thee and that upon his own terms in all his offices applying him to thy self to be thy King and Soveraign Lord to rule and govern thee by his Laws his Word and his Spirit to be thy Prophet to discover the Counâ—ile of God to thee and reveal himself to thee in his Gospel and to guide and instruct thee in his Baths Dost thee not as much and heartily desire to have Christ rule thee as to love thee or â—oâ—he a Priest to offer up himself a Sacrifice for thee Thou darest not thou canst not deny it A second Sign or Evidence of Saving Grace â—o thy earnest and unsatisfied restless desire of Christ Nothing but Christ can satisfie my Soul I thrist after him my hearts pants for him as the Hart after the rivers of water so panteth my Soul for thee O Lord and I will never give thee rest but will wrastle with thee as thy Servant Jacob once did I will never let thee go thou that hast promised to give Christ to them that ask till thou give me Christ and make me to know that he is mine and I am his I can in truth say so for as I can search and know mine own heart if it do not deceive me as the Apostle saith Phil. 3. 7 8. The things that werâ— advantage to me I now account loss for Christs sake yea I esteem all things but as dung incomparison of Christ Dost not thou my Soul prize Christ sat afore all outward contentments Even in the height of them they are but as withered flowers to thee no pleasure not sweetness in them without Christ Nay no inward corruption but thou art right willing to part with for him It 's not the manner of Hypocrites to be thus willing to relinquish all outward contentments much less to â—aâ—don all inward corruptions for Christ but in them is still some private Reservation But the earnest desire of my Soul is to have all sin subdued in me Lord Lord by the power of thy holy Spirit mortifie and kill every sin Oh! let not any one sin rule in me that I should obey it in the lust of it though sin doe well in me yet let me overcome it truly it is my heavy burden that I am in yoked with sin therefore long I to go out of my self for in me is nothing that is good But in Christ is all ability to duty and against sin all life and profit from the Ordinances and Christ conveys all especially to his Members by their resting on him for it which we call beleeving Now Gods gracious invitations to come to Christ thou my Soul dost imbrace and upon the serious consideration of the all-sufficiency fitness and willingness of Christ to save thee and the infinite love of the Father to give his Son for thee and the unspeakable love of Christ in his condescâ—ntion to the Father so to dye and undergo all the wrath of God and all for thee and the freeness of the mercy of God offering Christ in the Gospel and his Commandment to beleeve as 1 John 3. 23. And this is his Commandment that we should beleeve in the name of his Son Jesus Christ Also the sweetness and freeness of his promises to them that beleeve Now in obedience to the one and confidence of the other thou my Soul are at length thereby imboldened and incouraged to repair to Christâ— and by the freeness of the promises art incouraged to apply them to thy self not daring to exclude thy self but dost beleeve though but weakly A third Sign or Evidence of Saving Grace is thy Faith thy full purpose of heart and setled resolutions and endevors still ever to rest and 〈◊〉 upon the Lord Jesus and his merits alone for the discharge of thy sins thy Sanctification Justification thy Souls safety and salvation this indeed is the very act of justifying Faith to which life and salvation is so oft in the word promised and shall unsailably be made good well therefore mayst thou rest satisfied in it yet I rest on him to strengthen my weak faith I
have liberty to go sit with her God Her Closet work was no chambering and wantoness but a serious study to make heâ—â—â—â—lling and election sure To this end she reads with understanding observing and carefully transcribing the promises she had gathered up her Bonds and knew how much God was in his Word an accomptant to her Soul and was never in want but she had a Bond to put in sute knowing that he was faithful that had promised She was a consciencious attender upon God in his Ordinances and it was her practise not to hear as one that looks his natural face in a glass that presently goeth away and forgetteth what manner of man he was She would observe mater al passages and upon her retirements record them with her pen if in any thing â—â— doubted she ceased not till she was satisfied And whereas it is the too blame-worthy practise of Christians to seek cavils against themselves striving by their cavillings to unsettle their spirits she rather stadyed to make it her work to find what interest God had in her Soul then what she might have to say against her self nor in this was her labour without fruit Thou shalt read here what a writing she had drawn for Heaven to make it sure to her Soul and 〈…〉 had striven so the Lord had crowned her Souls endeavours with such an assurance as failed not her Soul in her dying hour It was my happiness to be a witness to the latter end of her life It pleased God to continue her holy day to the last hour in such a measure that Death had not an ill look from her There mightst thou haue seen Christian what a conquest Christ had made over Death and Hell Death had in her truly lost his sting and Hell was cheated of its victory Captivity was led Captive I shall commend to thee this little piece penned with her own hand by which thou mayst disâ—â—â—â— with what an excellency of Graces as well as Gifts the Lord had crowned her I commend it to thee not to be read only but that as by a true touchâ—â—one thou mayst try thy own Soul by it and find whether thou beest ready to dye or no. Thou shalt find this choice Servant of God dealing truly with her own heart neither presumptuously flattering nor unwarrantablâ— dejecting her own Spirit For what of â—â—ine is added I beseech thee take the goodwill that he that offers it bears to thy Soul I acknowledg there is nothing of a Schollar in it if there be the more of Christ let God have the Glory thy Soul the benefit and the Author thy prayers who is Thy true Servant in the work of the Lord Jesus John Collings From my study Aug. 27 1648. Infallable Signes OF Saving Grace Each one an Evidence for Heaven each Evidence an Antidote against the Fear of Death Death being to the Soul endowed with Grace only Heavens Gate to enter in by or through it to Eternal Glory and Happiness IT is a â—rrevokable decree of Heaven that all men must once dye yea it is the Law of the God of Nature and must be obeyed no avoiding it The Scripture faith it is appointed to all men once to dye Therefore oh my Soul seeing there is no escapâ—â—â— Death thy only way is to prepare for in get the sting of it taken away so shall it not hurt thee nor be terrible to thee no cause then to fear Death for it shall be but a messenger sent from God thy Father to fetch thee home to him and free thee from all sins which is thy greatest burden and all sorrows and miseries that sin occasioneth and carry thee to Heaven to Happiness and Glory to thy Saviour and Redeemer the Lord Jesus Christ to raign with him for ever in Heaven Now the only way to make Death thus to thee is to clear up thy evidences for Heaven Wherefore on my Soul get thee more Interest in Christ make that more sure to thy self that Christ is thine and thou art his and then no cause at all for thee to fear death As it is certain that Death will come even to thee as well as to others so is it most uncertain the time when it shall come Therefore my Soul defer it not for it stands thee as much upon as thy life may as thy eternal well being for evermore to make that sure to thy self even now while it is called to day and that upon good grounds that thou hast a sure title to Heaven art an heir of it and hast an Interest in Christ then it shall be well with thee after Death that shall be a happy change for thee no cause then to fear it Therefore oh my Soul why art thou so cast down And why art thou so disquieted within me And why fearest thou Death so much Hast thou not some Evidences of Truth of Saving Grace to prove thou art in Christ Darest thou deny it Thou canst not Oh therefore now clear them up view them well again meditate on them seriously bless God for them and let them support and comfort thee against the fear of Death at all times in all extremities or distresles whatsoever may befall thee Consider seriously with thy self hath not God promised to support thee in and deliver thee out of all afflictions and distresses in the best time and mean while that all shall work for thy good Therefore trust thou in him for he never fails any that trust in him rest thou on his promise and he will make it good to thee The first ground work of Grace in thee â—s this God hath given thee the sight of thy self thy sinful wretched and miserable yea damnable condition by nature thy sins both many and great as well thy inâ—â—nd corruption of which David complains Psalm 51. 5. As also thy continued actual transgressions all thy life along which are the fruits of that bitter root either outward or inward to wit thy natural aversness to all good pronness to evil perversness of heart rebelliousness of will disorder of affections and distemper of thy whole Soul in every part not as a meer natural disturbance only but as a spiritual disease a wicked and wretched disposition evil in it self of it self displeasing to God and deserving his curse and damnation of thy Soul and body although it should never break forth into any actual excess And now my Soul hath not God also in some measure humbled thee and broken thy heart too for thy sins Are they not a burden too heavy for thee to bear Wert thou not once in thirte own apprehension in a most desperate condition ready to sink under the load of them Therefore oh my Soul â—o Christ calleth thee to come to him and promiseth he will ease thee Mat. 11. 28. There is a promise for thy faith to rest on apply it to thy self to support thee Dost thou not confess thâ—â— to God bewailing 〈◊〉 with great grief and sorrow of heart
say not that Faith as my act doth justifie me but it is instrumental as it 's hand to receive Christ and unite thee to him those righteousness alone is the meritorious cause of thy Justification Now here is a promise for thee to rest on John 3. 16 36. Whosoever believeth in Christ shall not perish but have everlasting life And he that believeth in the Son hath everlasting life Now my Soul exercise thy Faith apply this promise to thy self I beleeve and therefore I shall have everlasting life Labor for that reflect act of thy Soul to know more that thou dost beleeve The sincerity whereof in thee is in some measure approved by thy resigning and giving up thy self wholly to him as the Apostle Gal. 2. 20. I am crucified with Christ nevertheless I live yet not I but Christ liveth in me and thâ— life which I now live in the flesh I live by the Faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me Desiring as well to be ruled and guided by him as saved by him purged as pardoned freed from the power as the punishment of sin cleansed from the filth as discharged of the guilt of sin What though thou art not able wholly to put it in practise but lost full of and come short in performance thereof was not this the Apostle Paul his own case which he so â—â—â—gely deploreth Rom. 7. 15. 23. I allow not that which I do for what I would that do I not but what I hate that do I. I see another Law in my members rebelling against the Law of my mind and leaving me Captive to the Law of sin which is in my members It sufficeth to warrant the sincerity of thee my Soul and Spirit in this case that with the same Apostle in the same place Thou takest notice of thy failings art grived for them there is in thee a nature or part that abhors them thou watchest against them endeavorest what thou canst to reclaim thy self upon discovery of falling laborest by carnest prayer to God against them and continuest constant in the use of the means sanctified by him for spiritual strength and abillity and restest on Christ and expectest from him power to overcome thy corruptions Therefore comfort thy self herein O my Soul and apply this to thy self for thou art but in the same case that Apostle Paul was then in who at that very time had truth of grace and was even then in a most happy and blessed condition Therefore fear not though thou findest many temptations either to despair or to think all thy hope but presumption none of the Saints or Servants of God was ever heard praying to be rid utterly of their corruptions forthwith and at once Suffice them and thee it may and must that he will one day rid them utterly of all and mean while to support thee Know that thy corruptions shall never so prevail against thee as to reduce thee again to the sway and soveraignty it once had in thee when it had its throne in thee these shew that there is a part in thee that is regenerated as Paul had Now to such as these are the promises of God made good Malla 3. 16 17. A book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the Lord and thought upon his name And they shall be to me saith the Lord of Hâ—sts in thee day a flock and I will spare them and man spareth his own son that serveth him 2 Chron. 30. 18 19 20. Hezekiah prayeth to the Lord to be merciful to him that prepareth his whole heart to seek the Lord God though he be not cleansed according to the purification of the Sanctuary And the Lord heard Hezekiah and healed the people Psal 33. 18 19. Behold the eye of the Lord is upon them that fear him and upon them that trust in his mercy to deliver their Souls from death and to preserve them in famine Psal 37. 40. The Lord shall help them and deliver them from the wicked and shall save them because they trust in him Psal 34. 22. The Lord redeemeth the Souls of his Servants and none that trust in him shall perish Oh my Soul set thy Faith a work lo here are promises for it to rest on apply them to thy self for they are precious Another Sign or Evidence of Grace is thy constant desire of and love to the Ordinances of God whereby these may be attained and that for this very end that thou mayst know what God requires of thee and be enabled to practise it and get strength against thy corruptions endeavouring to apply thy self thereto with delight in the use of them This evidently testifies the sincerity of thy desire love and affection to God as David urgetâ—â— oft and presseth the like for himself Psa 119. 11. I have hid thy promise in my heart that I might not sin against thee Also Vers 24. Thy testimonies are my delight and my counsellors And Ver. 33. Teach me O Lord the way of thy statutes and I will keep it even to the and. Also Vers 40. Behold I desire thy commandments quicken me in thy righteousness Hypocrites desire the and only delight in them for by and sinister ends not enduring them where they find they cross their corruptions But the closer they come home to thee and most strike at thy corruptions the better thou likest and more lovest them thou dost not spare any sin I have sworn that I will Psa 119. 106 keep thy righteous judgments Another evidence of Saving Grace is thy hatred of every false way desiring God to discover to thee thine iniquity that thou art most prone or aptest to fall into by natural inclination custom or company This was made an argument of Davids integrity Therefore O my Soul make thou the same application to thy self also to uphold and comfort thee And dost thou not groan under the â—urthen of thy inward corruptions and thoughes as well as actual transgressions Wouldst not thou fain be rid of them Is it not thy greatest grief that thou dost dayly so sin against God who is so good so loving and merciful to thee Thou darest not deny it Oh that I might and could so live as never to commit any one sin more so long as I live to offend so good a God as he is to me not no more grieve nor quench his holy Spirit in the motions of it â— I resolve so to do Oh that I could do so Another sign of true Grace Hast thou not respect unto all Gods Commandments desiring universality of sincere obedience to all alike not shunning any one nor reserving any sin to thy self So David Psa 119. 5 6. O that my ways were directed to keep thy Statutes Then should I not be ashamed when I have respect unto all thy Commandments And when fallen dost thou not loath thy self the more for that and renew thy faith in Christ and repentance as sin is renewed
and feest it more and more vile judging thy self miserable because that which is contrary to Gods will prevails over thee And so thou dost overcome sin though oft soiled by it that which yet may stand with grace though it abide to death in thee Now my Soul dost thou not mourn under this Pray earnestly and rest withal on Christ for help and assistance of his Spirit to enable thee to overcome all thy corruptions still striving against them thou darest not deny it And with unfeigned purpose never entertaining any known evil with full consent of will but coâ—â—ially embracing the contrary grace and command longing after more grace out of the fence of want of it This is an infallible sign of true grace as Math. 5. 6. Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be filled Therefore my Soul apply this by faith Bless God with humility and take the comfort of it that so thou mayst walk the more thankfully and love him more who hath so loved thee and be more careful of all thy ways Another evidence or mark of true Grace is thy resolving in the sence of Gods absence yet then to stick to and rest on his mercy through Christ even unto death by his assistance Psa 13. 1. How long wilt thou forget me O Lord for ever how long wilt thou hide thy face from me Verse 5. But I have trusted in thy mercy my heart shall rejoyce in thy salvation So still continue thou testing on Christ alone as to work in thee all grace both to will and do so to strengthen and perfect it to the day of Christ as Philip. 1. 6. And begging of God his Spirit who is the Spirit of Grace to help and enable thee it being the sap to make thee fruitful for of thy self thou canst do nothing pleasing to God but all thy services as of thy self are an abomination in Gods presence But now if they come from Christ and the Spirit then God is well pleased with them and accepts them And remember God hath promised to give the Spirit to them that ask it Mat. 21. 23. Whatsoever we ask in Christs name if we beleeve we shall receive And Luke 11. 13. If ye then being evil know how to give good gifts unto your children how much more then shall yourâ— heavenly Father give the holy Spirit to them that ask him Let that comfort thee this was as argument to David of grace in him let it be so to thee Another evidence of Grace is thy confident resting on Gods mercy because of his prorâ—isâ— it 's that upholds thee knowing he is most faithful as he cannot be deceived so he will not deceive any that trust in him So David did Psa 119. 81. My Soul sainteth for thy Salvation yet I wait for thy Word When David heart fainted this very thing stayd him namely that he trusted in Gods Word Psa 34. 8. Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord. Psa 2. 12. Blessed and all that trust in him Psa 3. 18 Blessed are they that wâ—lâ— for him Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord and whose hope the Lord. And dost not thou my Soul still seek wait pray hope and with on humblâ— dependency desire still to trust in God always though with much opposition Yea when thou feelest no sensible evidence of Gods love and savor to thee yet even then Gods Word comforts thee thou hast given me more joy of heart then they have whose outward comforts abound as Psal 4. 7. So thy Word comforts my Soul in the midst of great doubtings distress and trouble yet thou my Soul hast still some hope by casting thy self on thy God when other hopes stil as David Psal 142. 2 3. I poured out my complaint before him though my spirit was even over whelmed Yet Vers 5. Even then said he I cryed unto thee O Lord and said thou art my hope and my portion in the land of the living Now Oh my Soul is not God thy portion also Indeed he is Hast not thou taken him so to be Yes truly even to be thy All and thou hast I hope with a cordial resignation given up all thy interest to the Lord and his service at least desirest and endeaverest so to do in thy resolutions Good Lord put forth thy mighty yea almighty power and give me thy Spirit that may reach me and enable me to walk as becometh such a one as hath given up himself to serve thee That I may in the remainder of my lâ—st express all sincere and humble obedience to the Word delivered O that I could Another evidence of Saving Grace is Thou dost often afresh renew thy faith and confidence in Christ and resigne and give up thy self wholly to Christ to be guided and instructed by his Word and Spirit and this purpose is firm in thee And dost thou not in bitterness of soul bewail end grieve for thy exceeding unfruitfulness and unprofitableness under such sweet precious and powerful ordinances as thou hast so long a time enjoyed and implotâ— the throne of Grace for the Spirit to shew forth its present vertue to make them become life and power to thee and thou usest them with hope in Christ And since that the way to make them more profitable is to be more sensible of thy particular wants and to prize the ordinances very highly as the very brests from and through which God conveys all nourishment to his Therefore quicken up thy self O my soul to use them with what care and diligence thou canst and rest on Christ rest not in the ordinance but on God Consider what God can and will do for thee expect dayly help and strength from him in the use of his ordinances and especially in that of the Sacrament act faith and reject all discouragements for they hinder the growth of grace as frosts do tender fruits Oh when shall the time be that the ordinances shall be so powerful and efficacious as to kill all my corruptions that I may 〈◊〉 the vertue of Christ his death killing the body of sin in me and the power of his resurrection raising me up to newness of life that holy frame of heart that hath been in other the servants of God Sure there hath been such a changing quickening raising comforting power attained from God in the use of his ordinances both to beget and so to strengthen and encrease Grace therefore I will never 〈◊〉 the Lord alone until he make them â—â— to me seeing he hath promised Heaâ—â— maketh shall receive Ok and it shall be given seek and you shall finds knock and it shall be opened unto you Math. 7. 7. Lord I ask I seek I knock let me obtain Lord it s thine own free and gracious promise though free thou wert not any way tyed to make it yet Lord it 's now thy promise that thou wilt give Grace to them that seek it and ask it and hunger after it Lord I
desire it more then my appointed food thou Lord sure I trust will be prevailed with Seeing the unjust Judg was so through importunity shall not the just and righteous yea merciful God be prevailed withall when importuned for that which he promiseth to give Yes surely he will most certainly make good even that promise to thee my soul in particular Do but trust in him and press him with his own Word nay more it 's a part of that new Covenant that God hath made with his servants that he will take away the heart of stone that is all that hinders Grace and he will give them a new heart and put his Laws in their inward parts and write it in their hearts and will be their God and they shall be his people Jer. 31. 33. and Ezâ—ek 36. 25 26 27. And that he will put his Spirit within us and cause us to walk in his statutes beleeve so and it shall be so to thee Be encouraged and wrestle still for thou shalt obtain in the end Hath God said it Build thou on it Only go on in use of his means limit not the holy one he is a free Agent he may work when and how he pleaseth he delights to hear his children beg and cry oft to him and remember how prevalent prayer in Faith hath been with God how great things it hath obtained of God for particular Servants of God as that of Peters delivery by the prayers of the Church Acts 12. when condemned to dye the next morning and no way or means that he knew â—t to escape And so for Nations too Doth the Lord then say seek my face Oh let my heart Answer Lord thy face I do I will still seek and wait till thou Answer Another Evidence of Grace is Thy earnest desire to serve the Lord in sincerity with an upright heart above the desire of Life it self so far as thou canst search and knowest ought by thy self this must needs be an infallible sign of true Grace for nothing but truth of Grace can possibly desire this Another sign of true Grace is Thou fearest at some times that thou hast no true Faith or at least that it is decaying dying with thee when as no true Grace either stands at a stay or decays which makes thee full of discouragements and disquietness of spirit fearing thy estate is not good but what ever change is in thee O my Soul of seeming decay in Grace or increase of corruption yet thou canst not but be sure in the main for wher there is a sense of sins evil and a groaning under it a high Valuation of Christ and Grace and longing after it with a self-emptiness a desire and purpose to hang on Christ as thou darest not deny but 〈◊〉 in some measure in thee there is ground of comfort and therefore apply it to thy self else thou wrongest thy self and the spirit also Thou fearest falling into sin let it make thee more watchful and trust more and more carefully in Christ the view of thy wants should not discourage thee but abase thee in thine own esteem quicken thee to use the means and press thee to go to Christ and rest on him who can and will help all that thus repair to him Therefore fear not falling off for God hath promised to put his Fear into the hearts of his that they shall not depart from him Jer. 32. 40. Apply that promise to thy self by Faith Having once true Grace it can never be lost why therefore O my Soul art thou so cast down and why art thou so disquieted within me Trust stil in God for I will or shall yet give him thanks he is my present help and my God Psalm 42. 5 11 verses Or art thou thus disquieted because thou art often foiled by sins that thou resolvest against Oâ— consider thou hast an Advocate with the Father Jesus Christ who is thy Reconciliation he sitteth at the right hand of God and there he plead thy cause for thee Or is it because thou art still full of fears that thy Grace is not true Thou didst once beleeve it was true and that upon good ground Therefore question not that ground-work now that were to go about to rip up or undo all that work of Grace that God hath wrought in thee Why then is it O my Soul because of those inward corruptions within thee that rebel against the Law and Will of God and such effects of them as thou canst not be rid off with whatsoever care and caution thou canst use Or such sins slips and oversights as thou art unwillingly overtaken withall or dost inconsiderately slip into For thou dost not allow thy self in any known sin For this remember what was once my Cozen Gatakers Answer hereunto to wit consider S. Paul his case read but what he saith of himself Rom. 7. from vers 15. to vers 24. That which I do I allow not for what I would haâ— do I not but what I hate that do I. If then I do that which I would not I consent unto the Law that it is good Now then it is no more I that do it but sin that dwelleth in me For I know that in me that is in my flesh dwelleth no good thing For to will is present with me but how to perform that which is good I find not For the good that I would that do I not but the evill which I hate that do I. I find then a Law that when I would do good evil is present with me For I delight in the Law of God after the inward man but I see another Law in my members warring against the Law of my mind and bringing me into Captivity to the Law of sin which is in my members And if you can say more of your self then he there doth of himself I much marvel if not you may conclude your estate to be no worse then his was God indeed hears the prayers of his but yet he doth not presently give in kind the thing prayed for The Apostle Paul was heard when he prayed to be rid wholly of some corruption and temptation that he was anoyed and often foiled with 2 Cor. 12. 7 8. Lest I should be exalted above measure through the Abundance of the Rovelations there was given to me a throne in the flesh the massenger of Satan to buffet me For this thing I besought the Lord thrice that it might depart from me Remember Gods Answer to him vers 9. My Grace is sufficient for thee So shall it be my Soul to thee if thou rest on his Word it shall be so But mark he was not presently freed from it but upheld in it Or is it out of the sense of thy want and great need of more Grace Oh let not that discourage thee indeed thou hast the more need to go to Christ by Faith who is the Fountain and Spring of all he hath enough and so fetch vertue and strength from him beleeve
more and thou shalt have more Grace that is the only way to obtain it And remember Mr. Archers Answer once to thee concerning this particular Dear Sister Let not that make thee doubt thou christ no truth of â—ence which is an Evidence or effect of Grace and is not until Grace be â—t is no sign thou hast not Grace but their thou hast Grace These things which make thee doubt added to the former make me assumed of the goodness of thy state Satan ever makes that to be feared and doubted that is true and good These be conflicts of corruption Satan which company Grace These be that smoak that argues fire and Christ will not by 〈◊〉 the smonking Flax They be effects of Sanctification therefore be comforted here with I beseech you Another sign of truth or Grace is Thy very fear and jealousie of thy own unsoundness and deceitfulness of thy heart this acquits thee of hypocrisie and justifies thy sincerity this is a holy jealousie fear of falseness to God and that thâ—se are not in sincerity in thee For first These dispositions in thee desires and endeavors being signs or Grace must of necessity be granted to be signs of sincerity since that that is no grace in truth that is not sincere Secondly thy diligent search and inquiry into thy self and jealousie of thy self is an evident argument of the sincerity of thy heart and that thou wouldst not deceive thy self with flattery false or vain hopes Another signe of true Grace is thy putting thy self upon tryal of others that thou didst not rest satisfied with thine own tryal of thy self but desiredst Gods Ministers whom thou didst judg most sincere strict and faithful much pressing them to deal truly plainly and freely with thee without any flattery as they will one day answer it to the great God of Heaven And they bear witness to thee my soul from Gods own Word of the much of Grace in thee Thou didst not account thy own poor weak endeavors â—o search and try thy self sufficient although thou didst it to the utmost of thy power and ability apprehending that they might be more able to discover some deceit of thy heart that thou couldst not finde out There follows another signe of saving grace that is yet farther Thou hast put thy self upon the Lords own tryal How often hast thou in secret gone to thy God on thy knees and earnestly intreated and beseeched him to search thy heart and reins thy most secret sins and intimate corruptions and that he would shew thee thine iniquity and cleanse thee from thy sin not willing to hide any one from him so David Psal 39. 23 24. Search me O God and know my heart try me and know my thoughts and see if there be any wicked way in me And the Lord hath at sometimes made answer to thy heart That he is thine and thou art his shewed some little glimpse of his love and favor to thee as it were at 〈…〉 which hath been more joy of heart to thee then if thou hadst a thousand worlds Therefore O my soul praise thou this God of love and all that is within me praise his holy name as Psal 103. 1. Oh magnifie his free-grace mercy and love that he hath given thee some love-tokens as pledges of more hereafter Oh my soul raise up thy self to sound out the praises of the Lord and all that is within me bless his great and glorious name For truly he hath delt bountifully with thee Oh how can I how shall I express my thankfulness unto him Surely I will tell others what the Lord hath done for my poor soul that they also may trust in him For truly it s never in vain to seek and wait and trust in the Lord. Therefore O my soul do not be no more cast down and so disquieted within me Trust in God for I shall that is he will give me cause to give him thanks he is my present help and my God As David said so say I. Oh that I could chide my soul out of its unquiet condition seeing I cannot I will complain to God of it and desire him to do it for me as David did Psal 43. 6. O my God my soul is cast down do thou raise and comfort it for thou art able to do it Though I cannot I know thou Lord art able to cheer and revive my drooping spirits and thou wilt cause me to taste how good thou art that I may set forth thy ravishing sweetness unto others acquainting them what great and unexpressible goodness the Lord hath manifested to me O dwell my soul a while here suck more sweetness out of this love of God O how great is this love of God that pardons all thy sins of nature and custome oâ— long continuance as well as later great as well as smaller of omission as well as commission sins of ignorance and knowledg secret sins and more open sins sins in thought word and act sins of thy youth and â—â—per age He blots them out all as a creditor that takes his pen and blots out all debts leaves none to condemn O the greatness of this infinite love of God O stand still and behold what love the Father hath shewed wonder and be amazed and ravished with this love of all loves O the riches of this love of God to thee O admirable superabundant surpassing love O excellent precious sweet unheard of love O wonderful indeed rare unspeakable unutterable unexpressible incomprehensible love O love everlasting one dram whereof is better then life it self much sweeter then the hony and the hony comb Another Evidence of Grace is the sweet intercourse that hath been betwixt God and thee my soul Sometimes thy praying to him his answering thee Gods upholding and quieting thee sometimes in greatest dangers so Job and David Therefore stir up thy faith and live by it for time to come Thou hast humbled thy soul and God hath comforted thy soul Now he hath this communion with none but his own children Another Evidence of Grace is Thy hearty sorrow and grief for thy sinning against mercies and unthankfulness for them and not profiting by them arising from the consideration of Gods goodness to thee whom thereby thou dost offend These are undoubted signes of Grace Psal 51. 3 4 5 6 10. I acknowledg my transgressions and my sin is ever before me Against thee thee onely have I sinned and done evil in thy sight that thou mighâ—est be justified when thou speakest and be cleared when thou judgest Behold I was shapen in iniquity and in sin did my mother conceive me Behold thou desirest truth in the inward parts and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom Create in me a clean heart O God and renew a right spirit within me Psal 19. 12 13. Cleanse me from my secret sins keep thy servant also that presumptious sins raign not over me Rom. 7. 14 15 22 23 24. For we know that
the Law is spiritual but I am carnal sold under sin For that which I do I allow not for what I would that do I not but what I hate that do I For I delight in the Law of God after the inward man But I see another law in my members warring against the law of my minde and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members O wretched man that I am who shall deliver me from the body of this death 2 Cor. 7. â—â— Godly sorrow causeth repentance unto salvation not to be repented of Lord give me more of that sorrow Now God reckons not thy failings nor imputes thy corruptions to thee as thine as by his Apostle and his Spirit speaking in him he assures thee Rom. 7. 16 17. If then I do that which I would not I consent unto the Law that it is good Now then it is no more I that do it but sin that dwelleth in me But God accepts thy person and performances in his Son as he did Paul there though never so poor and imperfect he regardeth not so much what thou art or dost as what thou wouldâ—â— be and do Another evidence of Saving Grace is thy hearty and true love to the children of God for Grace-sake meerly for the good thou seest and beleevest to be in them even those who otherwise thou couldst not love this the Apostle John makes to be a signe That we are translated from death to life because we love the brethren as 1 Joh. 3. 14. Therefore as it gives attestation for thee my Soul so take thou the comfort of it from Gods own Word and bless God with humble thankfulness for it so David Psa 119. 63. I am a companion to all them that fear thee and keep thy precepts Another signe of Grace is this Thy joy and hope and love is fixed and set not on things below but on things above in heaven this argues that thou art risen with Christ and is that which may well be a pledg and earnest to thee that thou shalt one day appear in and enjoy Glory with him See Col. 3. 1 2 3 4. If ye then be risen with Christ seek those things which are above where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God Set your affections on things above not on things on the earth for ye are dead and your life is hid with Christ in God When Christ who is our life shall appear then shall ye also appear with him in Glory Yea thy present dis-esteem and undervaluing of all worldly honors profits preferments or greatness in the height of them accounting them vain and of small value to thee And indeed let worldlings hunt and scramble for them that have no better portion in heaven But thou my Soul I bless God seest better sweeter and more precious and durable riches spiritual things that last for ever that will satisfie the Soul The love and favor of God Heaven and Glory everlasting that shall never perish and peace of conscience and pardon of sin these indeed are well worth the desiring and laboring for Alas the other cannot afford one jot of comfort nor satisfie the conscience when troubled for sin or when death cometh Oh then nothing but Christ will serve the turn or stand in stead I Therefore now labor to get Christ to be thine and then he will not leave nor forsake thee no not when thou comest to dye and hast most need of him when friends and all creature-comforts will leave us And truly the greatness of the world doth oft steal away our hearts These are bâ—â—â—s and snares both worldly credit and profit I mean that take many a soul in their nets by means whereof many come to lose their souls ere they are aware of it because they have no 〈◊〉 or else no hearts to look after their precious Souls that must last for ever after these bodies with all the fading comforts here below are gone and perished We do or may see how fleeting and uncertain all creatures and all comforts here are every day sounds it in our ears and continually our eyes may see it in the corps dayly carryed to their graves and how riches take their wings fâ—â—e away as Prov. 23. 5. I am sure within these few last years God hath abundantly shewed and fulfilled that Scripture How many thousands not only of the meaner sort but of the great ones of the world even now in these our days worth very many hundreds a year now have not bread for their families Men get goods that many times know not who shall enjoy them But I will seek the Lord for at his right hand are joys and pleasures for ever more that shall last to all eternity My Soul this thy setled resolution is a pregnant testimony of thy love and affection to God As also that God hath created a new heart and put a new spirit within thee and thou therefore art become a new creature Again That change which God hath wrought in thee is not always alike not at all times so lively Neither yet again at all times alike cold dead and dull not always dejected not always comforted because as there is something in thee spiritual so also there is a part of flesh in thee that wars against the Spirit so is it with Gods Saints with the Apostle Paul so with David and the rest and when thou confessest thy sins to God in secret thou bewailest thy sins of thought which never trouble Hypocrites or other sort of sinners Another signe of Gods love to thee is this Though thou hast had sore conflicts of long continuance yet hast thou not been overwhelmed nor overcome but upheld and that thou usest in them spiritual weapons arguments from the power of God and from the all-sufficiency and goodness of God and thine own experience of the same having found the presence of the Spirit of God in power so supporting thee that thou hast not fallen away nor sunk under them but resolved still to trust in God by his assistance though he should kill thee as Job did Job 13. 15. at that time when thou hast had no present comfort Another sign of true Grace is Thy searching and earnest inquiry for what sin God layeth his hand of affliction upon thee and thy mourning that thou art no more bettered by afflictions for that is Gods end in afflicting his yea that thou desirest to be draw'd nearer to God by them that thou mayst say that it was good for thee that thou wert afflicted And before I was afflicted I went astray but now I keep thy word As David Psalm 119. 67. Lord make good to me that promise That all things shall work together for good and therefore afflictions to them that love God to them who are called according to his purpose Rom. 8. 28. Lord I would fain love thee The desire of my Soul is to thy name and to the remembrance of thee With my