Time and so let me esteem and seek and choose and do every thing in the first place which then I shall wish I had Let me do nothing now which I verily believe I shall then be ashamed or sorry to reflect on that by thinking what a condition I shall then wish to have my Soul in I may now provide my self much better than I have done hitherto That while I am in the greatest probability of living I may suppose my change to be near and so not dare to do any thing but what I would or might do if I were in the present expectation of death To this end let me go down to the Potters house descend to the consideration of my Mortality and dwell among the Tombs remembring the Aegytians built themselves better Tombs than Houses because they were to dwell longer in them Let every Nights repose serve me as a memorial of my last sleep and let my Bed stand for the model of my Coffin This is the only way to be dead to this World to be able to judge of things now as we shall do after Death according to immutable Eternal Truth X. The Brevity of Life considered as the fruit of Sin. There are but three ways of leaving this World as Abel Adam or Enoch A diligent improvement of Time farther prest and the neglect of it bewailed THE shortning of our Days is the fruit of Sin. All the Funerals that have ever been in the World have been caused by Sin. We dye because we have sinned and yet we should not sin as now if this were not forgot that we must dye From the first Transgression of Adam we derive our death and therefore some of his Posterity lived longer than he Which proves that the lengthning of our Days is the peculiar Gift of God and yet 't is such a Gift as was more desired formerly than since the appearance of Christ for we read of none in the New Testament since Life and Immortality is brought to light by the Gospel who desired a long continuance here on Earth Were we delivered from Sin the sting of Death by having made our Peace with God in the Blood of Jesus Death would not be frightful or put on such a ghastly Vizor as to most it doth But we are uncertain of our Justification we waver between hopes and fears as to our final Sentence and are conscious to our selves that we are not ready for our great Account This makes Death so terrible Considering with all that it is inevitable the way of all the Living For tho' the curse be removed and the sting be taken out by our B. Saviour so that the Souls of Believers are safe and shall not be toucht by the second Death yet God hath not taken away the stroke of it from the Body Tho' a Christian is assured of deliverance from Hell he is not exempted from the Grave as his passage to Heaven Prepare me Lord by the free Remission of all my Sins and make me meet for the Blessed Inheritance by sanctifying Grace and then thy Time is best Thy holy Will be done No matter then whether my Death be violent or what we call Natural It will be one of the two for I can't expect to be Translated by a miraculous change as Holy Enoch was and as they shall be who shall be found alive in the World when our Glorious Judge shall come again There are but those three ways of leaving Earth and the Three first Men of whose departure we read in Scripture are Instances of all Three Abel of a violent Death Adam of a natural one and Enoch of a Translation The variety and order of their Departure as one observes is very admirable and deserves to be considered For all Mankind must follow one or other of those three Examples Every Man or Woman that is born into the World must leave it by one of those three ways Either be cut off by a violent Death as Abel the first Man who dyed or dye a natural death as Adam did who was the second or be translated as Enoch who was the Third we read of But tho' I know that within a few years at farthest I must leave this World by one or other of these ways tho' I have been dying ever since I began to live am Dead to the last year and to all the preceding Portions of my Time and know withal that what remains will quickly pass and be gone after the same manner yet how have I overloved this Body as if I should never live out of it and set my Heart and Affections on this World as if I should never remove to another and trifled away my precious Time and Life as if a change would never come That few do seriously admit such thoughts is too evident by the general course and practice of their Lives For to what hazards do Men expose themselves what pains will they take what Inconveniences will they bear with what unwearied Industry will they toyl and labour to get a little Money or Honour in this World tho' they know not but they may be called out of it before the end of this Year And yet the same Persons are remiss and slothful about a future Life negligent and unconcerned about an Eternal state careless and indifferent yea sottishly stupid about the welfare of their Immortal Souls Henceforward O my Soul whatever other others do let me resolve to live in the expectation of a Change which I know is certain and may be very near XI Of the Expectation of Another Life The Vanity and Misery of Man in his Best Estate if there be none The satisfactory removal of that supposition by the Thoughts of God and of Eternal Felicity in his Blessed Presence LET me retire a little O my Soul and bethink my self what a World this is what Men design and seek and do and suffer with what false and feigned Joys they are pleased being only happy by comparison and with what real Sorrows they are afflicted what innumerable disappointments sicknesses and as troublesome remedies dangers labors pains and calamities of all sorts Multitudes groan under and loudly complain of and what little unworthy ends are pursued by all that do not seriously seek Eternal Rest and how often frustrated And withal consider the Cares that disquiet us the errors that deceive us the many Temptations that assault and overcome us how busie we are about Vanities how often dejected and melancholy for the breaking of a Bubble how eager and industrious to pursue a Shadow active and in earnest to destroy our selves and one another and then reflect on the Malice and cruelty the Filthiness and Impiety and great Corruption which abounds every where whereby God is dishonoured and provokt to Anger After this what a Theater of Tragedies must this World appear what an Hospital of sick and diseased or rather distracted Persons How should I be tempted to say Lord why hast thou made all Men in
New Heaven and a New Earth in this However I rejoyce in Hope and pray incessantly for the Resurrection of the Witnesses and the rebuilding of Sion and the more plentiful effusion of the H. Spirit the great comprehensive Promise of the later Times to effect a glorious Kingdom for Christ on Earth and my Faith assures me I shall hereafter see the Son of God revealed from Heaven cloathed with Majesty sitting on a Cloud leading the Heavenly Host raising the Dead by his powerful Voice summoning all the World to appear to Judgment gathering his Elect and finally destroying Death and him that had the Power of it the Devil condemning the wicked to Everlasting Destruction but acquitting honouring and rewarding his poor Members with infinite and Eternal Blessedness XV. Of Dying in a Foreign Country and of Dying Young. Considerations proper to Reconcile the Mind to both I May not live to the end of this Year God in his Providence having called me abroad I may never see my Native Country more Let me still remember O my Soul that wherever I am I am travelling towards the Grave and passing to another World that I may live in all Places as a Pilgrim and Stranger here on Earth with Affections suited to my condition becoming one who is travelling in a Strange Land. Let me bear the Inconveniences I may meet with in this World as Strangers in their Travels are wont to do Let me not repine at the ill accomodations of an Inn where I am to lodge but a night or two but encourage my self with the assurance of better Entertainment at home when my Pilgrimage is ended and my Journey over One of my dearest Holy Friends and Fellow Travellers whose memory will be ever precious (g) Mr. Thomas Bent who dyed at Geneva May 10. 1683. with those who knew him quickly arrived to his Journeys end and is entred into Rest betimes Which of his Companions shall next follow we know not or how soon Lord make me apprehend the nearness of my change in every place and if I am prepared for dying no matter where it be There is no one Country farther from the Presence of God than another The whole World may be considered as one Great House and the several Kingdoms and Countries of it but as different Apartments in the same House and they who tarry at home are no more exempt from Death than they who travel abroad The Earth is the Lords and the fullness thereof I can go no where to be out of his Territories I shall still tread upon my Fathers's Ground I had rather be an Israelite in a Wilderness with the Presence of God than a Courtier in Idolatrous Aegypt Abraham the Father of the Faithful and the friend of God was banished from his own Country and should I never set foot again on my native Soyl there is no reason of murmuring against my God who hath dealt thus with many of his Favourites And while I have been in a strange Land he hath not suffered me to feel the wants and necessities and heart of a Stranger Among a People of a strange Language he can and doth provide for me all things richly to enjoy I may set up my Ebenezer Hitherto hath God supplied all my wants The Presence of my Gracious Father is every where the same in some measure Blessed be my God I have hitherto found it so And may I not rejoice in God in a Desert though all the World should forsake me though all the World should be against me Should I have no other Friend or Helper is not God an infinite God Enough and without his Favour and Presence what can all this World do for me If I am sick and in danger of Death among my Relations and Friends if the comforts of the Almighty do not refresh and delight my Soul they cannot and if I want not these in my last Agonies no matter in what part or corner of the Earth I breath my last If the word and promise of God be my Foundation an holy Hope my Anchor Christ my Pilot and Heaven my Country I shall not fail of being landed there at last Suffer me not to forsake thee O Heavenly Father while I live and do not thou forsake me in my last Hour and let it come when and where thou wilt If my blessed Saviour will receive my departing Soul at Death I am not sollicitous in what Country or part of the Earth it be And that I may not be unwilling in the flower of my Age and Time in Youth and Strength to leave this World let me think often that no one age or part of Life is more priviledged against the stroke of Death than another If I have done my work betimes as my deceased Fellow Traveller had is it not better to receive the Blessed Recompence than to tarry longer in a World of Sin and Suffering absent from the Lord Shall I not thereby escape a multitude of Temptations Sins and Sorrows which others by living longer are exposed to If my Peace be made with God what should make me willing to live at this distance from him What should render this World so desirable where God is so dishonoured where I am so often tempted to displease him and so often yield to such Temptations And may I not fear lest I should fall into such scandalous and grievous sins that may bring a publick reproach on the Gospel of Christ and sadden the Hearts of all my Acquaintance who love the Lord Jesus in sincerity By dying early I shall contract less guilt and commit less Sin and see and feel less Sorrow than others who live longer And tho' I should maintain my Integrity yet in this World my highest love and obedience to God and my sweetest Communion with him is but imperfect How many impediments and Diversions do I daily meet with that deaden my Heart to Heavenly Contemplations and Affections What disappointments and sorrowful disasters to convince me that this is not the place of Rest and Happiness What smart afflictions may some of my Relations prove What dangerous Snares may attend me in the remaining Portion of my Time What Opposition and Hatred from Men may the stedfast professing of the Truth and fidelity to God expose me to What publick national Calamities may I have my share in c. But if I consider old Age it self which we do desire to reach what and how many are the Infirmities and Griefs and troublesome Circumstances which attend that State which dying young will prevent Are not most Men who reach a very great old Age helpless objects of Pity A Burthen to themselves and to all about them And which commonly happens may I not then be as unwilling to dye as at present As loth then to leave the World as now tho' in a manner it will have left me For how many old Men past the relish of sensual Pleasures are yet inordinately fond of a longer Life Have
implied in them What matter of rejoycing may it now give me to admit the Hope that my Blessed Saviour will say such words as these to me and bid me stand upon his Right-hand among his Sheep O what an exulting frame of Soul will such Expressions raise How shall all my Doubts and Fears and Sorrows be scatter'd in a moment and cease for ever O Glorious Day when my blessed Lord shall thus publickly acknowledge me for his own and plead my Cause against all the Accusations of Satan and the malicious Calumnies of all his Instruments when I shall be able to say of all my Sins and Sufferings as my Lord upon the Cross It is finished it is finished My warfare being accomplish'd being more than Conquerour over all through him who loved me and died for me and now is come to wipe away all tears from mine eyes as it were with the Napkin that was bound about his Head when laid in the Grave all being the fruit of his meritorious Death Then shall I have nothing more to fear or wish or beg I shall offend provoke and dishonour him no more or by my folly and scandal discredit his holy Name and Gospel but by consummate Holiness be fitted to rejoyce in his Presence and Love and celebrate his Praise for ever I shall never more lament his Absence or complain of his Anger never see a cloud on his Face or a Frown in his Look any more Now I must wait and pray struggle and strive labour and suffer desire and expect believe and hope c. but then perfect Rest and Holiness Love and Joy Vision and Fruition Bliss and Glory unutterable and everlasting shall take place All the Attributes of God all the wonderful Perfections of Christ will then be glorified in Believers and admired by them His invariable Truth will then be honoured which they trusted to and waited for for now they shall know and find they did not wait in vain They hop'd in his Word and ventur'd their Salvation upon it and now they shall receive the end of their Faith and Hope infinitely beyond what they ever expected or believed The Glory of Divine Wisdom will then appear when the Constitution Administration and Design of the Mediator's Kingdom shall be fully known in the admirable Order and Beauty of every part of it with the exact tendency of all the particulars to one Glorious End and the whole Undertaking crown'd with so blessed an Issue What is now a Mystery even to Believers themselves and hath a Veil upon it shall then no longer be so all the Riddles of God's Grace and Providence shall be plainly understood O how transporting a View must it needs be when the Glory of all the Divine Attributes which God intended to accomplish in and by Christ shall be manifest to his Redeemed Saints The whole method of our Salvation will then appear to be the fruit of unsearchable Wisdom when we shall all see the Reality and Substance and entire Scheme of all that God designed in and by him all that was typified of him and foretold concerning him in the Old Testament How will it all appear to be the manifold Wisdom of God! Ephes 3. c. 10. As in uniting Heaven and Earth together in the Person of our Mediator fulfilling the Truth of a terrible threatning in his Death and by the same way accomplishing * Vid. Mr. Charnock of the Divine Attribute Wisdom many gracious Promises satisfying Justice and at the same time shewing Mercy manifesting infinite Grace and Kindness by shedding of Blood conquering Death by dying and disarming the Law by Obedience to it c. afterwards subduing the world to the Faith of the Gospel by the foolishness of Preaching making men wise to Salvation by the knowledge of the Cross and spreading that Faith the more by all the opposition made against it c. How wonderfully will a clear View of these things discover and glorifie the Wisdom of God. But the Love and Grace of Christ the infinite Goodness and Compassion of God will then be magnified in an especial manner What but Soveraign Love in the whole Contrivance and Counsel of God about our Redemption What admirable Love and Grace in the whole management of that design What unparallel'd kindness in the accomplishment of it by the Sacrifice of the Son of God And how Glorious will this Love appear when he shall come again to give us the full Harvest of all his Purchase With what admiring Thankfulness shall Believers then contemplate the unsearchable Riches of his Grace In all the Parts and Instances of his Humiliation from his Conception to his Crucifixion and Burial in all the Evidences and Discoveries made of it from the first Promise to its Completion yea from before the Foundation of the World in the Covenant of Peace between the Father and the Son until his second Coming to Judge the World and deliver up the Kingdom to his Father How shall we then admire and adore his Powerful Grace which snatcht us as Firebrands out of everlasting Burnings that effectually shin'd into our minds by heavenly Light conquer'd the Opposition of our stubborn Wills Sanctified our carnal Hearts rescued us from the Tyranny of Satan and the Dominion of Lust giving cherishing and preserving the holy Seed of Grace and making it Spring up to Eternal Life defeating the malicious and subtil Endeavours of the Devil to destroy it inabling us to indure Tribulation and persevere to the end giving us Victory over Death conducting us through the dark Valley raising our Bodies reviving and reuniting them to our Souls and rendring them glorious like his own Body and at length rewarding our imperfect Services with Eternal Life Yea tho our best Services were mixt with Sin our holiest Duties spotted our most couragious Sufferings mixt with unbelief yet rewarded with a Blessedness that hath no alloy of Evil but all the ingredients of a Perfect Felicity and nothing to lessen and interrupt it How shall we then admire the Bounty of our Gracious Lord the Freeness Tenderness Riches and the exceeding Greatness and Glory of his Infinite Goodness and Grace to poor Believers With what Extasies of Joy and Gratitude may we imagine that our Lord will be then admired by all his Redeemed ones Saying This is He who made our Peace with God and reverst the Sentence of Damnation which we were under who bought us with the price of his most precious Blood bore the Wrath of his Father and submitted to an infamous and cursed Death for us He assumed our Nature that we might partake of his became the Son of Man that we might be made the Children of God for our sakes he became poor that we through his Poverty might become Rich He stoopt to bear the greatest Ignominy and Reproach to confer Honour on us He was for a time forsaken of his Father that we might not be so eternally He felt the stroke of his Anger against Sin that
am troubled and mourn and my Soul is grieved within me O thou Heavenly Physician of Souls from thy Pity alone I expect my cure I am miserable and undone without thy Compassion and expect no relief but from the Treasure of thy Grace I must perish and sink under the burden of Sin if thy merciful hand do not save me and lift me up I am intangled and insnar'd by the Devil and my Lusts and without thy Succour can never hope to get free O Lord forgive my Sin and heal my Soul Deliver and save me for thy Mercies sake May I not yet hope in thy Mercy Thou hast mercifully born with me hitherto thou callest me to repent thou commandest me to return and promisest to forgive those Sins which are confessed and forsaken O do not cast me out of thy Sight and Presence now I desire from the bottom of my Heart to return to thee I abhor my self in dust and ashes for my past Iniquities But alas such is the hardness of my Impenitent Heart that I am even asham'd of my humblest Repentance how much more may God despise and reject it But hast thou not given thy Blessed Son to dye for Sinners and exalted him to this very end to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance and Remission of Sins And by the word of thy Grace thou beseechest all even the Greatest Sinners to accept of mercy and art more willing to pardon than we can be to Repent 'T is thy Delight and Glory agreeable to thy Nature and declared Name as a God gracious and merciful slow to Anger and of great Kindness forgiving Iniquity Transgression and Sin. O Pardon mine Iniquity for it is great and receive an humble Penitent who implores thy Grace according to the Tenor of thy new Covenant flying to the arms of thy Mercy through the merits of Jesus Christ who is able to save to the uttermost all that come unto God by him Lord hear my Prayer and let not the mixture of my weaknesses and unworthiness turn it into Sin but graciously vouchsafe to look upon a returning Prodigal and cause me to hear the voice of Joy and Gladness that my sorrowful Heart may be comforted and my life be directed to thy Praise Lead me into the path of life that I may no longer err from the way of thy Commandments Teach me to do thy Will O God and write thy Law upon my Heart that I may never more return to Folly. I am convinc't of the Evil of Sin of thy Right to govern me of the Equity and Justice of thy Law of the sweetness and rewards of keeping thy precepts O sanctifie my Heart and make me Sound in thy Statutes that I may hate every false way and be devoted to thy Fear the remainder of my Life If there be any particular Lust or Wickedness which through the power of Temtation and the deceitfulness of Sin you have fallen into that hath wasted Conscience and rob'd you of your Peace and provok't God to write bitter things against you be sure to humble your self without delay in an especial manner for that Backsliding Confess it freely with its aggravations Consider whether it was not after some special manifestation of God's Love after some special warning some strong Conviction under or soon after some great Affliction from God or some more than ordinary kindness of his Providence c. And impress such Thoughts to humble your self the lower search into the grounds and causes of such Apostacy such as the abatement of your Watchfulness the neglect of serious closet Devotion making bold with Temptation too great compliance with vain Company venturing too far in lawful or indifferent Things toò much Confidence in your own Wisdom Strength and stedfastness not fearing sufficiently the Approaches and Beginnings of Sin or avoiding the fuel incentives and occasions of it c. Palliate and disguise nothing that may make your sin exceeding sinful lest by some little Art of the Devil you deceive your self by an half-Repentance and the Evil Spirit you think to be cast out return again with seven worse than himself and so your latter end be worse than your Beginning For if the sin be not truly hated but only cover'd over with penitential Ashes it will quickly flame out again when it meets with combustible matter and a strong blast of Temptation But if you are griev'd to the very Heart and abhor the Sin and resolve to quit it you need not doubt of God's readiness to receive you to Mercy His Spirit is yet striving with you if you are willing to Repent and return to God. He sought you and call'd you to return when you were wandring as a lost sheep in the broad way and can you think he will not be found of you if you seek him with your whole Heart Therefore renew your Repentance and beg more earnestly a Spirit of Humility Holy Fear and Watchfulness And every morning implore Divine succours against that Sin and all Temptations to it Which as much as possible you must avoid Constant and fervent Prayer after Repentance must be your refuge and your Remedy If you let fall your hands this Amalek will prevail again As soon and as far as you fail in the constancy and fervency of that Duty your Sin will get strength and successfully attempt you another Time. But by this practise God may turn Evil to work for Good make you gain by your loss stand the faster by your Falls and become stronger by the discovery of your weakness and so be better establisht for the future But take heed that you pervert not the Grace of God and encourage your self to sin again by the supposition that if you should Fall 't is but to Repent and renew your Resolutions and all will be well This is a subtle Artifice of Satan but such methinks as should take with none who have ever known by Experience what it is to Repent Who have felt the burden of Sin to be heavier than a Millstone than Luke 23. c. 30. 17. c. 2. the weight of a Mountain Who have tasted how evil and bitter a thing it is to depart from God. Who have loathed and abhorr'd themselves with deep Remorse and Sorrow and Anguish of Spirit wishing with all their Hearts that they had not sinn'd and if it were in their power would give all the world to retrieve it and would rather dye than commit that Folly again they then repented of Let those who have not their own Experience to confirm this read over and consider the case of David when he wrote the Penitential Psalms How many like him have roar'd and cried out under the sense of sin of stings and furies in their Conscience of the poison'd Arrows in their Souls and his Terrors surrounding them whereever they went from the sense of sins Malignity the apprehensions of God's Anger and the consequent Fears of his Wrath. Serious Repentance after great Transgressions is