servant would have hated to take upon him the trade of a begger Service is a lawful calling beggery not so he that gave life to all creatures could take a maintenance from them without asking he that did command the fish to bring the tribute money for himself and his disciples and could multiply a few loaves and fishes for the relief of thousands could rather raise a sustenance to himself and his then beg it But here was neither need nor cause even ordinary means failed not many wealthy followers who had received cures and miraculous deliverances besides heavenly doctrine from him ministred to him of their substance neither was this out of charity but out of duty in the charge which he gave to his disciples when he sent them by payrs to preach abroad he tells them the laborer is worthy of his wages and can we think this rule doth not much more hold concerning himself had not himself and his family been furnished with a meet stock raised from hence what purse was it which Judas bore and how could he be a theif in his office if his bags were empty He therefore that could say It is a more blessed thing to give then to receive certainly would not choose when it was in his power rather to receive then give The earth is the Lords and the fulness thereof and he distributes it as he pleaseth amongst the children of men For me I hope I shall have the grace to be content with whatsoever share shall fall to my lot but my prayer shall be that I may beg of none but God XXXII What a madness it is in us to presume on our interest in Gods favor for the securing of our sinfulness from judgment The Angels were deeper in it then we mortals can ever hope to be in these houses of clay yet long since are ugly Devils and they which enjoyed the liberty of the glorious Heavens are now reserved in everlasting chains of darkness And if we look down upon earth what darling had God in the world but Israel This was his first born his lot his inheritance of whom he said Here I have a delight to dwell And now where is it O the woful desolations of that select people What is it to tell of the suffossion of her vineyards vastation of her tents the devouring of her land demolition of walls breaking down Altars burning of Cities spoyling of houses dashing in peices their children ravishing their wives killing of their Priests eating of their own children of but a span long and a thousand such woful symptomes of war the Psalmist hath said a word for all in a just but contrary sense Destructions are come to a perpetual end what destruction can be more when there is no Israel How is that wretched nation vanished no man knows whither so as it was Jezebels curse that nothing was left whereof it could be said this was Jezebel So there is not one peece of a man left in all the world of whom we can say This was of one of the tribes of Israel as for those famous Churches which were since that honored with the preaching and pens of the blessed Apostles where are they now to be lookt for but amongst the rubbish of cursed Mahumetism O that we could not be high-minded but fear XXXIII What a woful conversion is here The sting of death is sin and the sting of sin is death both meet in man to make him perfectly miserable Death could not have stung us no could not have been at all if it had not been for sin And sin though in it self extreamly heinous yet were not so dreadful and horrible if it were not attended with death How do we owe our selves to the mercy of a Saviour that hath freed us from the evil of both having pulled out the sting of death which is sin that it cannot hurt us and having taken such order with the sting of sin which is death that in stead of hurting it shall turn beneficial to us Lord into what a safe condition hast thou put us If neither sin nor death can hurt us what should we fear XXXIV How unjustly hath the presumption of blasphemous cavillers been wont to cast the envy of their condemnation meerly upon the absolute will of an unrespective power as if the damnation of the creature were onely of a supreame will not of a just merit the very name of Justice convinces them a punitive Justice cannot but suppose an offence It is not for us to rack the brains and strain the heart-strings of plain honest Christians with the subtilties of distinctions of a negative and positive reprobation of causes and consequences truths meet for the Schools It is enough that all Christian Divines the Synods both of Dort and Trent agree in this truth that never man is was can be miserable but for sin yea for his own sin The Prophet tells us so in terms Why is the living man sorrowful man suffereth for his sin Nothing can be more true then that of Bildad the Shuhite Behold God will not cast away a perfect man thy perdition is of thy self O Israel It is no less then rank blasphemy to make God the author of sin Thou art the God that hast no pleasure in wickedness neither shall any evil dwel with thee saith the Psalmist our sin is our own and the wages of sin is death he that doth the work earns the wages so then the righteous God is cleared both of our sin and our death onely his justice pays us what we will needs deserve Have I any pleasure at all saith he that the wicked should die and not that he should return from his ways and live wherefore return yea and live What a wretched thing is a willful sinner that will needs be guilty of his own death Nothing is more odious amongst men then for a man to be a felon of himself besides the forfeiture of his estate Christian burial is denied him and he is cast forth into the highway with a stake pitcht through his body so as every passenger that sees that woful monument is ready to say There lyes the carcass but where is the soul But so much more heinous is the self-felony of a wilful sinner because it is immediatly acted upon the soul and carries him with pleasure in the ways of an eternal death O Lord cleanse thou me from my secret faults keep thy servant also from presumptuous sins lest they get the dominion over me XXXV We are wont to say That we ought to give even the Devil his due and surely it is possible for us to wrong that malignant spirit in casting upon him those evils which are not properly his It is true that he is the tempter and both injects evil motions and draws them forth into act but yet all ill is not immediatly his we have enough besides of our own Every man saith
St. James is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust and enticed then when lust hath conceived it bringeth forth sin and sin when it is finished bringeth forth death Lo both the lust and the seducement are our own the sin is ours the death ours There are indeed diabolical suggestions which are immediatly cast into us by that wicked one but there are carnal tentations that are raised out of our own corrupt nature these need not his immediate hand he was the maine agent in our depravation but being once depraved we can act evil of our selves And if Satan be the father of sin our will is the mother and sin is the cursed issue of both He could not make our sin without our selves we concur to our own undoing It was the charge of the Apostle That we should not give place to the Devil Lo he could not take it unless we gave it our will betrays us to his tyranny in vain shall we cry out of the malice and fraud of wicked spirits whiles we nourish their complices in our bosomes XXXVI I cannot but think with what unspeakable joy old Simeon dyed when after long waiting for the consolation of Israel he had now seen the Lords Christ when I hear him say Lord now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace according to thy word for mine eyes have seen thy salvation Methinks I should see his soul ready to flie out of his mouth in an heavenly ravishment and even then upon its wing towards its glory for now his eyes saw and his arms embraced in Gods salvation his own in Israels glory his own How gladly doth he now see death when he hath the Lord of life in his bosome or how can he wish to close up his eyes with any other object yet when I have seriously considered it I cannot see wherein our condition comes short of his He saw the childe Jesus but in his swathing-bands when he was but now entering upon the great work of our redemption we see him after the full accomplishment of it gloriously triumphing in Heaven He saw him but buckling on his armor and entring into the lists we see him victorious Who is this that cometh from Edom with dyed garments from Bozra this that is glorious in his apparel traveling in the greatness of his strength mighty to save He could onely say To us a childe is born to us a son is given We can say Thou hast ascended on high thou hast led captivity captive thou hast received gifts for men It is true the difference is he saw his Saviour with bodily eyes we with mental but the eyes of our Faith are no less sure and unfailing then those of Sense Lord why should not I whose eyes have no less seen thy salvation say Now let thy servant depart not in peace onely but in a joyful sence of my instant glory XXXVII When I think on my Saviour in his agony and on his cross my soul is so clouded with sorrow as if it would never be clear again those bloody drops and those dreadful ejulations methinks should be past all reach of comfort but when I see his happy eluctation out of these pangs and hear him cheerfully rendring his spirit into the hands of his Father when I finde him trampling upon his grave attended with glorious Angels and ascending in the chariot of a cloud to his Heaven I am so elevated with joy as that I seem to have forgotten there was ever any cause of greif in those sufferings I could be passionate to think O Saviour of thy bitter and and ignominious death and most of all of thy vehement struglings with thy fathers wrath for my sake but thy conquest and glory takes me off and calls me to Hallelujahs of joy and triumph Blessing honor glory and power be unto him that sitteth upon the Throne and unto the Lamb for ever and ever XXXVIII It is not hard to observe that the more holy any person is the more he is afflicted with others sin Lot vexed his righteous soul with the unclean conversation of the Sodomites Davids eyes gush't out rivers of water because men kept not the Law Those that can look with dry and undispleased eyes upon anothers sin never truly mourned for their own Had they abhorred sin as sin the offence of a God would have been grievous to them in whomsoever It is a godless heart that doth not finde it self concerned in Gods quarrel and that can laugh at that which the God of Heaven frowns at my soul is nearest to me my sorrow therefore for my sin must begin at home but it may not rest there from thence it shall diffuse it self all the world over Who is offended and I burn not who offendeth and I weep not XXXIX The world little considers the good advantage that is made of sins surely the whole Church of God hath reason to bless God for Thomas his unbelief not in the act which was odious after so good assurances but in the issue his doubt proves our evidence and his confession after his touch had convinced him was more noble then his incredulity was shameful All his attendance upon Christ had not taught him so much divinity as this one touch Often had he said my Lord but never my God till now Even Peters confession though rewarded with the change of his name came short of this The flame that is beaten down by the blast of the bellowes rises higher then otherwise it would and the spring water that runs level in the Plain yet if it fall low it will therefore rise high the shaken tree roots the deeper Not that we should sin that grace may abound God forbid he can never hope to be good that will be therefore ill that he may be the better but that our holy zeal should labor to improve our miscarriages to our spiritual gain and the greater glory of that Majesty whom we have offended To be bettered by grace it is no mastery but to raise more holiness out of sin is a noble imitation of that holy God who brings light out of darkness life out of death XL. Every man best knows his own complaints we look upon the outsides of many whom we think happy who in the meane time are secretly wrung with the inward sense of their own concealed sorrows and under a smooth and calm countenance smother many a tempest in their bosome There are those whose faces smile whiles their conscience gripes them closely within There are those that can dissemble their poverty and domestick vexations reserving their sighs till their back be turned that can pick their teeth abroad when they are fasting and hungry at home and many a one forces a song when his heart is heavy No doubt Naomi made many a short meal after her return to Bethlehem yet did not whine to her great kinred in a bemoaning of her want And good Hannah bit in many a grief
any calamity that may befal them in their estates children husbands wives friends so as they can say with Solomons drunkard They have stricken me and I was not sick they have beaten me but I felt it not These are dead flesh which do no more feel the knife then if it did not at all enter for whom some corrosives are necessary to make them capable of smart This disposition though it seem to carry a face of Fortitude and Patience yet is justly offensive and not a little injurious both to God and the soul To God whom it indeavors to frustrate of those holy ends which he proposeth to himself in our sufferings for wherefore doth he afflict us if he would not have us afflicted wherefore doth the father whip the childe but that he would have him smart and by smarting bettered he looks for cryes and tears and the childe that weeps not under the rod is held graceless To the soul whom it robs of the benefit of our suffering for what use can there be of patience where there is no sence of evil and how can patience have its perfect work where it is not Betwixt both these extreams if we would have our souls prosper a mid-disposition must be attained we must be so sensible of evils that we be not stupified with them and so reâ—olute under our crosses that we may be truly sensible of them not so brawned under the rod that we should not feel it nor yet so tender that we should over-feel it not more patient under the stripe then willing to kiss the hand that inflicts it LXIV God as he is one so he loves singleness and simplicity in the inward parts as therefore he hath been pleased to give us those sences double whereby we might let in for our selves as our eyes and ears and those limbs double whereby we might act for our selves as our hands and feet so those which he would appropriate to himself as our hearts for beleef and our tongue for confession he hath given us single neither did he ever ordain or can abide two hearts in a bosome two tongues in one mouth It is then the hateful stile which the Spirit of God gives to an hypocrite that he is double-minded In the language of Gods Spirit a fool hath no heart and a dissembler hath an heart and an heart and surely as a man that hath two heads is a monster in nature so he that hath two hearts is no less a spiritual monster to God For the holy and wise God hath made one for one One minde or soul for one body And if the regenerate man have two men in one the old man and the new yet it is so as that one is flesh the other spirit the minde then is not double but the law of the mind is opposed to the law of the flesh so as here are strivings in one heart not the sidings of two for surely the God of unity can neither indure multiplication nor division of hearts in one brest If then we have one heart for God another for Mammon we may be sure God will not own this latter how should he for he made it not Yea most justly will he disclaim both since that which he made was but one this double And as the wise man hath told us That God hates nothing which he hath made so may we truly say God hateth whatsoever he made not since what he made not is onely evil When I have done my best I shall have but a weak and a faulty heart but Lord let it be but a single one Search me O God and know my heart try me and know my thoughts and see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting LXV There is a kinde of not-being in sin for sin is not an existence of somewhat that is but a deficiency of that rectitude which should be it is a privation but not without a real mischief as blindness is but a privation of sight but a true misery Now a privation cannot stand alone it must have some subject to lean upon there is no blindness but where there is an eye no death but where there hath been a life sin therefore supposes a soul wherein it is and an act whereto it cleaveth and those acts of sin are they which the Apostle calls the works of darkness So as there is a kinde of operosity in sin in regard whereof sinners are stiled The workers of iniquity And surely there are sins wherein there is more toyl and labor then in the holiest actions What pains and care doth the theef take in setting his match in watching for his prey How doth he spend the darkest and coldest nights in the execution of his plot What fears what flights what hazards what shifts are here to avoyd notice and punishment The adulterer says That stoln waters are sweet but that sweet is sauced to him with many careful thoughts with many deadly dangers The superstitious bygot who is himself besotted with error how doth he traverse Sea and land to make a Proselyte What adventures doth he make what perils doth he run what deaths doth he challenge to mar a soul So as some men take more pains to go to Hell then some others do to go to Heaven O the sottishness of sinners that with a temporary misery will needs purchase an eternal How should we think no pains sufficient for the attaining of Heaven when we see wretched men toyl so much for damnation LXVI With what elegance and force doth the holy Ghost express our Saviours leaving of the world which he cals his taking home again or his receiving up In the former implying That the Son of God was for the time sent out of his Fathers house to these lower regions of his exile or pilgrimage and was now re-admitted into those his glorious mansions In the latter so intimating his triumphant ascension that he passeth over his bitter passion Surely he was to take death in his way so he told his Disciples in the walk to Emaus Ought not Christ to suffer these things and to enter into his glory He must be lifted up to the Cross ere his Ascension to Heaven but as if the thought of death were swallowed up in the blessed issue of his death here is no mention of ought but his assumption Lo death truly swallowed up in victory Neither is it otherwise proportionally with us wholly so it cannot be for as for him Death did but taste of him could not devour him much less put him over It could not but yield him whole entire the third day without any impairing of his nature yea with an happy addition to it of a glorious immortality and in that glorified humanity he ascended by his own Power into his Heaven For us we must be content that one part of us lye rotting for the time in the dust whiles our spiritual part shall
any whit sensibly advanced XCV The wise Christian hath learned to value every thing according to its own worth If we be too glad of these earthly things it is the way to be too much afflicted with their losse and whiles we have them to be transported into pride and wantonness If we esteeme them too little it is the way to an unthankful disrespect of the giver Christianity carries the heart in a just equipoise when they come they are welcom'd without too much joy and when they go they part without teares we may smile at these earthly favors not laugh out we may like them but we must take heed of being in love with them For love of what kinde soever it be is not without the power of assimilation If we love the world we cannot but be worldly-minded They that are after the flesh do minde the things of the flesh and to be carnally minded is death Contrarily if we love God we are made partakers of the divine nature and we are such as we affect If we be Christians in earnest certainly the inner rooms of our hearts which are the holy of holies are reserved for the Almighty the outer courts may be for the common resort of lawful cares and desires they may come and go but our God shall have his fixed habitation here for ever XCVI Nature is slie and cunning neither is it possible to take her without a shift The light huswife wipes her mouth and it was not she Rachel hath stoln her fathers Teraphim and the custom of women is upon her Saul reserves all the fat cattle of the Amalekites it is for a sacrifice to the Lord thy God Neither is it so onely in excusing an evil done but in waving a good to be done I am not eloquent saith Moses send by him by whom thou shouldst send Pharaoh will kill me there is a lyon in the way saith the Sluggard I have marryed a wife I cannot come saith the sensual Guest If I give I shall want If I make a strict profession I shall be censured Whereas true Grace is on the one side down right and ingenuous in its confessions not sparing to take shame to it self that it may give glory to God on the other side resolutely constant to its holy purposes I and my house will serve the Lord If I perish I perish I am ready not to be bound onely but also to dye at Jerusalem for the Name of the Lord Jesus It is not hard therefore for us to know what mistress we serve If our care and endeavor be by witty evasions to shuffle off both evil and good we are the vassals of nature but if we shall with an humble penitence acknowledg our evil and set our selves with firm resolutions upon the tasks of good we are under Grace in a way to glory XCVII It is good for a man not always to keep his eyes at home but sometimes to look abroad at his neighbors and to compare his own condition with the worse estate of others I know I deserve no more then the meanest no better then the worst of men yet how many do I see and hear to lye groaning upon their sick beds in great extremity of torment whereas I walk up and down in a competency of health How many do I see ready to famish and forced to either beg or starve whereas I eat my own bread How many lye roting in Goals and Dungeons or are driven to wander in unknown desarts or amongst people whose language they understand not whereas I enjoy home and liberty How many are shrieking under scourges and racks whereas I sit at ease And if I shall cast mine eyes upon my spiritual condition alass how many do I see sit in darkness and in the shadow of death whereas the Sun of Righteousness hath arisen to me with healing in his wings How many lye in a woful bondage under sin and Satan whereas my Saviour hath freed me from those hellish chains and brought me to the glorious liberty of the sons of God how many are miserably mis-led into the dangerous by-paths of error whereas he hath graciously kept me in the plain and sure way of his saving Truth If we do not sometimes make these not proud but thankful comparisons and look upon our selves not with direct beams but by reflection upon others we shall never be sensible enough of our own mercies XCVIII The true Christian is in a very happy condition for no man will envy him and he can envy no body None will envy him for the world cannot know how happy he is How happy in the favor of a God how happy in the enjoying of that Favor Those secret delights that he findes in the presence of his God those comfortable pledges of Love and mutual interchanges of blessed Interest which pass between them are not for worldly hearts to conceive and no man will envy an unknown happiness On the other side he cannot envy the worlds greatest favorite under Heaven for he well knows how fickle and uncertain that mans felicity is he sees him walking upon Ice and perceives every foot of his sliding and threatning a fall and hears that brittle pavement at every step crackling under him and ready to give way to his swallowing up and withal findes if those pleasures of his could be constant and permanent how poor and unsatisfying they are and how utterly unable to yield true contentment to the soul The Christian therefore whiles others look upon him with pity and scorn laughs secretly to himself in his bosom as well knowing there is none but he truly happy XCIX It was an high and honorable embassie whereon the Angel Gabriel was sent down to the blessed Virgin that she should be the Mother of her Saviour Neither was that inferior of the glorious Angel that brought the joyful tidings of the incarnation and birth of the Son of God to the shepherds of Bethlehem but a far more happy errand was that which the Lord Jesus after his Resurrection committed to the Maries Go to my brethren and say to them I ascend to my Father and your Father and to my God and your God Lo he says not I am risen but I ascend as if he had forgot the Earth whence he arose and thought onely on that Heaven whither he was going Upon his Easter his minde is on his Ascension day As there had been nothing but discomfort in death without a Resurrection so there had been little comfort in a Resurrection without an Ascension to glory There is a contentment in the very act I ascend even nature is ambitious and we do all affect to mount higher as to come down is a Death but this height is like the ascendent infinite I ascend to my Father There was the glory which he put off in his humble Incarnation there was the glory which he was now to resume and possess to all eternity And as if Nature and
knock'st for entrance wilt be pleased to inable me with strength to turn the key and to unbolt this unweldy bar of my soul O do thou make way for thy self by the strong motions of thy blessed Spirit into the in-most rooms of my heart and do thou powerfully incline me to mine own happiness els thou shalt be ever excluded and I shall be ever miserable XLI In what pangs couldst thou be O Asaph that so woful a word should fall from thee Hath God forgotten to be gracious Surely the temptation went so high that the next step had been blasphemie Had not that good God whom thy bold weakness questions for forgetfulness in great mercy remembred thee and brought thee speedily to remember thy self and him that which thou confessest to have been infirmity had proved a sinful despair I dare say for thee that word washed thy cheeks with many a tear and was worthy of more For O God What can be so dear to thee as the glory of thy mercy There is none of thy blessed attributes which thou desirest to set forth so much unto the sons of men and so much abhorrest to be disparaged by our detraction as thy mercy Thou canst O Lord forget thy displeasure against thy people thou canst forget our iniquities and cast our sins out of thy remembrance but thou canst no more forget to be gracious then thou canst cease to be thy self O my God I sin against thy justice hourly and thy mercy interposes for my remission but oh keep me from sinning against thy mercy What plea can I hope for when I have made my Advocate mine enemy XLI How happy O Lord is the man that hath thee for his God He can want nothing that is good he can be hurt by nothing that is evill his sins are pardoned his good indeavors are accepted his crosses are sanctified his prayers are heard all that he hath are blessings all that he suffers are advantages his life is holy his death comfortable his estate after death glorious Oh that I could feel thee to be my God that I could enjoy an heavenly communion with thee In vain should earth or hell labour to make me other then blessed XLII How just a motion is this of thine O thou sweet singer of Israel O love the Lord all ye his Saints Surely they can be no Saints that love not such a Lord Had he never been good to them yet that infinite goodness which is in himself would have commanded love from Saints Yet how could they have been Saints if he had wholly kept his goodness to himself In that then he hath made them Saints he hath communicated his goodness to them and challengeth all love from them and being made such how infinitely hath he obliged them with all kinds of mercies How can ye choose O ye Saints but love the Lord What have ye what are ye what can ye be but from his meer bounty They are sleight favours that he hath done you for the world in these his very enemies share with you How transcendent are his spirituall obligations Hath he not given you his Angels for your attendants himself for your Protector his Son out of his bosome for your Redeemer his Spirit for your Comforter his heaven for your inheritance If gifts can attract love O my God Who can have any interest in my heart but thy blessed self that hast been so infinitely munificent to my soul Take it to thee thou that hast made and bought it enamour it thoroughly of thy goodness make me sick of love yea let me die for love of thee who hast loved me unto death that I may fully enjoy the perfection of thy love in the height of thy glory XLIII Lord how have I seen men miscarried into those sins the premonition whereof they would have thought incredible and their yeildance thereto impossible How many Hazaels hath our very age yeilded that if a Prophet should have fore told their acts would have said Is thy servant a dog that he should do these great things Oh my God why do not I suspect my self What hold have I of my self more then these other miserable examples of humane frailtie Lord God if thou take off thy hand from me what wickedness shall escape me I know I cannot want a tempter and that tempter cannot want either power or malice or skill or vigilance or baits or opportunities and for my self I find too well that of my self I have no strength to resist any of his temptations O for thy mercies sake uphold thou me with thy mighty hand stand close to me in all assaults shew thy self strong in my weakness Keep back thy servant from presumptuous sins Let them not have dominion over me then onely shall I be upright and shall be innocent from the great transgression XLIV It is thy title O Lord and only thine that thou givest songs in the night The night is a sad and dolorous season as the light contrarily is the image of cheerfulness like as it is in bodily pains and aches that they are still worst towards night so it is in the cares and griefs of mind then they assault us most when they are helpt on by the advantage of an uncomfortable darkness Many men can give themselves songs in the day of their prosperity who can but howl in the night of their affliction but for a Paul and Silas to sing in their prison at mid-night for an Asaph to call to remembrance his song in the night this comes onely from that Spirit of thine whose peculiar style is the Comforter And surely as musick sounds best in the night so those heavenly notes of praise which we sing to thee our God in the gloomy darkness of our adversity cannot but be most pleasing in thine ears Thine Apostle bids us which is our ordinary wont when we are merry to sing when afflicted to pray but if when we are afflicted we can sing as also when we are merriest we can pray that ditty must needs be so much more acceptable to thee as it is a more powerful effect of the joy of thy Holy Ghost O my God I am conscious of my own infirmity I know I am naturally subject to a dull and heavy dumpishness under whatsoever affliction Thou that art the God of all comfort remedy this heartless disposition in me pull this lead out of my bosome make me not patient only but cheerful under my trials fill thou my heart with joy and my mouth with songs in the night of my tribulation XLV It is a true word O Lord that thy Seer said of thee long ago The Lord seeth not as man seeth Man sees the face thou seest the heart man sees things as they seem thou seest them as they are many things are hid from the eyes of men all things lie open and displaid before thee What a madness then were it in me to come disguised into