which have all my days stung my soul and battered my body My soul take courage unto this last encounter herein my willingness to dye is the victory my fall is the fullest conquest that I ever did or can make be herein the more couragious considering Death is though an enemy yet a conquered and disarmed enemy Christ that Captain of my salvation hath tryed the strength of death and subdued it he by dying did overcome death and him who had the power of death viz. the Devil herein Satan was out shot in his own Bow and caught in his own snare what gained the Philistines by bringing forth Sampson to make them sport and to be insulted over in the house of Dagon but their own destruction the very same hath death and the Devil gotten by bringing the Lord of life to dye on the Cross and to the Grave which could not hold him these by getting have lost the victory O blessed Paradox by this my faith and my soul can out-face out-brave death whilst my nature and my body doth dread the assaults and stroak thereof Death struck the Lord of life with its sting and lost its sting by striking him and in him all that are his do ever since insult over death with an O death 1 Cor. 15.55 where is thy sting O grave where is thy victory Since this foil death is befooled of its conquest over them whom it most insultingly strikes with success and cutteth down with power for it prevailing looseth its design The design of Death is to seal man under indelible guilt to set him under the curse of the Law and at everlasting distance from the Lord vers 56.58 The sting of Death is Sin the strength of Sin is the Law but thanks be unto God who hath given us the victory through Jesus Christ our Lord for hereby death doth to all that are in Christ Jesus effect what is directly contrary to its design it dischargeth that guilt under which they greived all their days and releaseth them from those curses of the Law by which they were chastened in this life and it transmitteth their souls unto the immediate and eternal enjoyment of God and Christ and although it holdeth the body for some time yet it divideth it not from Christ to whom it is inseperably united and by whom it shall be raised up to be reunited to the soul and perfectly possess God for ever My Soul why art thou afraid of a Bee which hath lost its sting why dost thou dread an enemy vanquished to thy hand and sprawling at thy feet Hath David kill'd Goliah and shall not trembling affrighted Israel up and pursue the Philistines hath the Lord Christ gotten and given me the victory over death by discharging thy guilt and bearing the punishment thereof in his own body unto the satisfaction of the Law and wilt thou fear to encounter the fiercest assaults thereof What shall a conquered enemy disanimate the Conqueror My Soul in the world thou hast tribulation in death thou hast terror but be of good comfort thou art now engaged in the last encounter with both and the Lord Jesus hath overcome the world and conquered death Triumph in death for thou shalt by dying be made triumphant over Death the World and the Devil Thy warfare is now accomplished let me now in my last act play the man and shew the valour of my Faith and Patience unto the due restraint of my now provoked fear and passions Then this shall be the matter of mine eternal happiness and honour that I have warred a good warfare I have fought a good fight I have kept the Faith SECT V. DEath is a curse The cursed nature of death is changed the punishment of mans sin the expression of Gods wrath and the execution of the Law and dreadful sentence pronounced against man It is so in its nature and of it self But it is not such to all that are thereto subjected the voyce from heaven hath proclaimed them Blessed Rev. 14.13 who dye in the Lord and hath rendred two reasons of the blessed state of their death First they rest from their labour they then reap no punishment Heb. 4.10 but are indeed blessed for he that is entred into his rest ceaseth from his own works of sin and sorrow as God ceased from his Secondly Their works follow them unto their acceptance with and recompence from the Lord. The nature of death is changed to such who are in Christ Death to Christs friends is a sleep and to such who die for Christ the friends of Christ do not dye but sleep Job 7.21 I account sleep a special blessing of God for the refreshment of nature my sleep is the image the similitude of death Death is the truest the onely sleep of a true Beleiver when I sleep I am as dead and when I dye I shall but sleep I shall indeed sleep longer in my grave then in my bed but I am sure I shall sleep more quietly without affrighting fancies or disturbing dreams and I shall at length awake and arise when my weary day is ended how willing am I to lye down and sleep My Soul art thou not willing thy weary body should have rest to dye is to a Saint no more then to undress and go to bed to lie down and sleep Joh. 11.11 Let what will become of Dives our friend Lazarus sleepeth The righteous when they dye are taken from evil to come Isa 57.1 2 and 26.20 death is their defence from danger distress and dread their grave is Gods pavilion and receptacle into which they his jewels are gathered Mal. 3.17 lest they should be left in the commotions of the world in which they his trusty friends and confederates are secured from the storm and blast of the terrible ones raised up by the Lord to shake terribly the earth my Soul what though the Chambers of death be dark wilt thou deem it a curse to be gathered into them by Gods special grace that thou mayst not feel hear or see the evil which his wrath and vengeance is about to bring on the places of thy present abode The just by death enter into peace when the whole world is full of Wars they rest in their beds when the house is all in an hurly burly and unquiet tumult Death is the Saints cessation from labour and travel their security from lamentation and trouble their estate of quiet and ease and their entrance into rest and glory The very wicked who with Balaam are ready to curse them whilst they live would gladly share lots with them in their death The worst of men are so apprehensive and affected that their latter end shall be exceedingly good that they cannot but wish to dye the death of the righteous Death is indeed a curse to sinners but the course of nature unto Saints The direful executioner of Gods wrath and law to all who die in their sin
thee I relye thee I embrace with all my soul to be my Lord and my King refuse reject me not O God of my salvation I have resigned up my whole man to thy most holy word and will and desire to walk in thy most holy ways thy love shed abroad in my heart hath enflamed me with a love to thy name to thine ordinances thy people and thine house the zeal of thy house hath consumed me I have through thy spirit embraced esteemed thy truth in the love thereof and thy people for the truths sake which is in them For thy sake I have denied all outward comforts I have taken up my cross and followed thee Consider remember O Lord my present bonds for thy sake I am killed all the day long I am accounted as a Sheep for the slaughter the reproaches of them who reproach thee are fallen upon me all this is come upon me yet have I not departed from thee nor dealt falsly in the Covenant in which thy glory is concerned § These things O Lord I do reflect not as matters of merit in me or as engagements on thy justice to do me good for I well know they are not mine own and if they were and were perfect yet I must when I have done the best I can acknowledge I am an unprofitable servant all I can do is due to thee the best of my actions are but the debt I ow thee but alas my best actions are full of sin my righteousness is as a filthy rag a menstruous garment which needeth thy propitiation and thy fathers pardon and must be perfumed by the incense which is on the censer in the right hand of thee my high Priest Yet O my Savour I reveiw these things in me as the effects of thy grace to me of thy spirit in me and as infallible evidences of thine union to me for flesh and blood could not reveal nor work these things in me by thy grace sanctifying my nature my soul is and shall be saved ô refuse me not deny me not to be thine O let thy spirit of adoption seal up my relation to thee and mine interest in thee let me not remain in the dark or be deceived in a matter of so great concernment to me clear up to me by certain premises the truth the realty of mine inseperable union with thee else I am undon have said nothing to my soul in all that I have said against the dread of death § Grant unto me O Lord the remission of all my sins the sence of the guilt thereof doth sting my soul under the apprehensions of mine approaching death Whatsoever doth befall me in this life I beseech thee suffer me not to dye in my sin Oh convince me of humble me for and turn me from all iniquity and every reigning lust but graciously cast it behind thy back blot it out of thy remembrance that in the day it is sought for it may not be found against me sin hath passed on me and death by sin but deliver me O my Saviour from falling by under the second death from which there is no possibility of redemption Secure unto my soul thy sufferings as the full ransom of my soul and the satisfaction to thy fathers law and justice for mine offences and for my many great trangressions so shall I be able to meet death with boldness I shall then insult over that King of terrors with on O death where is thy sting O grave where is thy victory I shall then triumph over death and him who hath the power of death the Devil If my heart deceive me not I would not sin that grace â—hould abound but now blessed Saviour that I have sinned I do I dare not but earnestly beg thy grace may abound that I may in my death through the pardon of sin sing unto thy praise thanks be unto God who hath given met he victory through Jesus Christ our Lord. § O thou the only high Priest of my profession thou canst be touched with mine infirmities thou knowest the power the prevalency of my natural passions under the apprehensions of mine approaching death thou ever livest to make intercession for me graciously rebuke my passions restrain my fears revive my faith renew my hope and establish my heart under and against all those amazing affrighting apprehenfions of death which nature dotâ— conceive sence doth dictate or Satan doth suggest unto my dread Compassionately grant me the comfortable supports of thy presence grace and spirit whilst I walk in the vale of the shadow of death that I may with all patience and meekness lie down and receive that stroak of death which I cannot avoid and yet cannot be willing to receive That I may with submission drink that bitter cup thou puttest into my hand concerning which my nature not corrupted with sin could not but pray Father if it be possible let this cup pass from me give me an heart groaning to be clothed on with my house from heaven whilst I cannot desire to be uncloathed of this earthly tabernacle and seeing my presence in the flesh is mine absence from thee O Lord perswade me to be willing to be dissolved that I may be with thee which is best of all § As a man I cannot desire I cannot but fear to die be pleased O my Savior to convince me of and afflict me with the happy sequels of my death that the sence thereof may make me contrary to the power property of my nature desirous to die let not the dread of death drive me to accept on sinful terms the deliverance from the most violent and shameful stroak thereof enable me to live the last breath of this my dying life in the ways of thy truth and holiness to the praise of thy grace and in this last act to play the man couragiously evidencing my self affected with a clear sence that all the evils of death are discharged and assured that I am united to thee who art the resurrection and the life through whom though I die I shall live again and having fought the good fight of faith and finished my course of nature I shall escape the curse of death and be received into eternal life and glory with thy self thy blessed Saints and Angels for ever guide me all my days by thy counsel and at last receive me into thy glory Into thy hands I commit my spirit it is thine own thou hast redeemed it and thou wilt keep it until thy glorious appearance blessed Jesus my Lord and my Redeemer Amen Amen Amen FINIS
but a messenger of divine favour to all who die in the Lord an harbinger of peace to all who walk in uprightness A grim Porter to fetch home to their fathers mansions all that are Gods children Death is indeed a dismal doom on the sons of the first Adam but the discharge of all sin sorrow pain and travel to all the sons of the second Adam death is in its nature vile and odious Ps 116.15 but precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of all his Saints death is exceeding dreadful to such who are obnoxious to its sting but the stroak of death is desireable to all such who are acquitted from and armed against its sting Death by violence containeth in it a curse A good cause and conscience make death a blessing with an emphasis and increase yet a good conscience righteousness towards God and the testimony of Jesus being the cause procuring the same maketh the most base ignominious and cursed death a condition of glory and blessedness the blessing of them who dye in the Lord doth most certainly eminently and especially appertain to such who dye for the Lord. Phil. 1.29 It is a singular gift to beleive in Christ but to suffer and that unto death for Christ is a peculiar gift of special grace all Saints share not in it attain not the honour of it Stephen stoned for enforcing the truth of Religion by the strength of reason Act. 7 55 56. not to be resisted by the adversaries saw Heaven open to receive him at his death The slain for the Word of God and testimony which they held are lodged under Gods Altar in glory Rev. 6.9.10 11. and before the Throne of the Lamb they are cloathed in white robes to attend the Lamb the most cursed and ignominious death is changed and made glorious to just men by having passed on Gods best servants most zealous and faithful Prophets yea the only and beloved Son of God the Lord Jesus our Savior hath made death every any kind of death the blessing of his people My Soul mistake not the nature of death unto the increase of thy dread mind the condition make sure of the qualification which changeth its nature and then death will loose its affrighting vizard and have another aspect in thine eye and thou wilt incline to give it a more free acceptance am I in Christ I am then redeemed from the curse of death can I dare I desire to divert the course of nature Beware O my soul who am I Shall the earth be removed for me Job 18 4. shall I think to alter Gods purpose or to change the course of Gods providence towards men shall I not be satisfied to be saved from the sting unless I escape also the stroak of Death God never purposed Christ never promised to free me from this why do I presume to dream of it to look for it Shall my dread of the stroak darken the glory of Christs love or damp mine apprehensions and esteem of the unspeakable undeserved mercy of being saved from the sting of death God forbid God hath extracted the poyson shall my stomach nauseate and rise against this cup onely because it is bitter Oh no I will rightthankfully take it as the cup of salvation and dismiss my dread and dutifully submit my self to the Will of God onely wise my most gracious Father O my God not my will but thy Will be done God hath accounted poor weak worthless me worthy of the Ministry of the glorious Gospel of his dear Son he hath at this time culled me from among my brethren to bear a special Testimony to his truth to the power plainness purity and simplicity of Christs ordinances worship and officers and to those degrees of reformation in this Church and Nation which have been protested and solemnly sworn to the most high God herein I have beleived for these I have spoken written and disputed and shall I now fear to suffer shall I now dread death the crowning act of all my zeal diligence and fidelity is not this part of the cross of Christ and so the glorious crown of a Minister of the Gospel have I any thing wherein to glory save the Cross of Christ and shall I fear to be seen in my Masters Livery the honour of my now expected death is an high favour a peculiar priviledge an effect of special grace and therefore sufficient to perswade me to be not onely willing but desirous to be offered up by death to and for him who accounted not his life dear for me Death in and for this cause is not more my duty then my dignity the more ignominious it is the more glorious it shall receive the due recompence of reward 2 Tim. 2.12 If I suffer with Christ I shall be glorified with him and raign with him I have all my days wandred in this world like a Pilgrim in a strange Country it is now my Fathers pleasure to call and send for me home shall I refuse to go in the hand of a grim Messenger because of his gastly look and affrighting countenance may not the same bloody hand conduct me to my Fathers House which doth cut down mine and my Fathers foes what though the stroak of death be the same to good and bad the sequels of Death are not the same to both the Red Sea may pass Israel into the land of rest and yet ruine the Egyptians the same Sheriff who doth execute Traytours and malefactours doth put good subjects into the possession of their proprieties though he be dreadful in the one his very posse comitatus is desireable to the other Shall I foolishly draw back fear to be possessed of mine inheritance incorruptible and undefiled because I must be brought and put into it with Halberts Bills Swords and the Sheriffs train and power My Soul chear up reflect on thy self Christ his love and Gods grace notwithstanding my many slips falls and infirmities I will presume to say I have lived the life of the righteous the Covenant of God is on my flesh with God I have desired and endeavoured to walk though I have sometimes wandred and gone astray like a lost sheep I have embraced Christ my Lord and to him I will cleave as to my deer Redeemer I shall therefore dye the death of the righteous although I may be struck I shall not be stung by death Death may pass upon me as the course of nature and as an expression of humane rage but not as the curse of God or execution of his Law Let me make it my care to see my quality changed whilst I live and then I am assured God will change the quality of my death when I dye SECT VI. IF I now dye as mens rage doth threaten mine enemies desire and hope my friends fear and deprecate and my self have cause to expect I dye as a Malefactour and by the sentence of a righteous Law
the Doctrines of Mortality and cry out I must die O Chist save me O Christ save me Nor is it marvell for every Balaam ready to curse Gods Israel on the sence of deaths appraach cannot but wish to die the death of the righteous I would willingly hope those who have now the charge of your souls are tender of you as Nurses and careful for you as Parents and that with due affection and fidelity they labour to fit you for and encourage you under the stroaks of death Never I am sure had you more need never were you more likely to hear the Charmer and to receive instruction then in so sad a day of visitation from the Lord. I wish I were without any grounds of fear to the contrary I lately travelling about my rustick affairs met many Ministers from your City among other Citizens withdrawing from that place of danger their recess I could not but observe with grief and anger thinking who must minister to you ghostly councel now your souls are in the shadow of death how must it sting your serious hearts to see your lovers and friends stand at a distance and your Prophets all gone I am not so uncharitable as to conclude the recess of any not specially bound to stay in infected places to be sin I beleive men that flye from the Pestilence are no more Atheistical or to be blamed as such then those who flye from the Sword I judge the recess of many may be a prudential serving of Gods providence unto the withdrawing of the contagion naturally communicating it self in vicinity but I cannot but judge Magistrates to keep order Physitians to help nature and Ministers to prepare for and encourage against death are bound to stay and in the discharge of their duty to trust God with their lives I cannot secure Ministers their lives in contagious places I well know that Histories tells us some of the Ministers and Deacons which ministred to the Saints in Alexandria Euseb Hist l. 7. c. 22. in the great Plague which there raged dyed thereof And that the Families of Bullinger and Beza were herewith infected yet themselves escaped and were preserved yet God hath ordinarily saved the lives of those who in love to immortal souls have adventured to loose them Mr. Sam. Fisher whose meditation on death in the time of the Plague in Salop we have publique among us is yet alive to tell unto Gods praise how himself and Reverend Mr. Blake were preserved in their Ministration to that place in the time of a raging Pestilence If despised I might be so bold I would desire your present Ministers to consider the late Bishop Halls advice in this very case he having justified the receâ—â—â—f private persons thus conculdeth concerning Ministers You urge the instance of your Ministers how unequally Bp. Halls Epist Dec. 4. Ep. 9. there is not more lawfulness in your flight then sin in ours you are your own we are our peoples you are charged with a body which you may not willingly lose nor hazard by staying we with all their souls which to hazard by our absence is to lose our own we must love our lives but not when they are rivals with our souls or with others how much better is it to be dead then negligent then faithless if some bodies be contagiously sick shall all souls be neglected to run away from a necessary and publique good to avoid a doubtful and private evil is to run into a worse evil then that we would avoid c. Whilst worthless I am dead as to my Ministry I hope I may be alive as to my Meditations And freely by an harmless Pen Minister them to you especially on a subject so innocent so necessary as is Death It s Dread and the Defence against it I beseech you receive these as ministerial suggestions for the good of your souls they were indeed onely spoken to my dying self Put your souls in my souls stead and they will speak to you the special kind of death which I dreaded may make some things seem improper to your present state but the general matter and scope of them is to obviate death as such in its general nature and so they are applicable to any kind of death I beseech you prepare your selves to dye and thereby perswade your souls to be willing to dye you and I must dye it mattereth not what kind of death we dye be we careful to dye in the Lord and for the Lord so shall death consummate our misery and conveigh our fouls into the fulness of felicity Austin well noteth Quid interest an Febris Let us say Pestis an ferrum nos de corpore solverit noli qua occasione Aug. Epist 122. ad victori sed quales ad se exeant dominus attendit inservis suis It mattereth not whether Sword or Plague kill us Saints are subject to any to every of them God doth more regard the disposition of his Dying Servants then the means of their death the change of quality in us changeth the quality of death unto us Now that God may fit you for death familiarize to you that King of fears fix your souls on Christ who is life in death and so fill your hearts with those comforts which may prevail with you to dye willingly untill he please to accept an attonement and call back the destroying Angel is and shall be the most affectionate and constant prayer of Yours in the Lord foâ— the good of youâ— souls whilst he is Z. C. July 20 th 1665. A DEFENCE Against the Dread of DEATH OR Z. C. his serious Soliloquies and Meditations of Death under the alarms thereof sounded in the time of his Imprisonment in the Tower of London An. 1661. The PREFACE THe wrath of the King is the messenger of death O sad messenger O evil tidings what is more unwelcome to man what is more distasteful to nature can it chuse but dismay my soul and affect my spirit is not Death that which nature hath determined to be of Terrible things the most Terrible doth not the Scripture denominate it Job 18.14 The King of Terrors doth not the sence of death daunt the courage of the stoutest men of War damp the comforts of this World doth not this discompose the most composed Christian and most serious Saint were not the snares the sorrows the shade of Death the things which David that good that stout man did so passionately bewail Ps 18.4 5. 116.3 and pray to be delivered from the fear of Death made upright Hezekiah Isa 38. To chatter like a Crane and mourn like a Swallow The Devil well knew what he said Job 2.4 when he said All that a man hath he would give for his life The Lord of life entred not the List to encounter Death without an heavy spirit he needed some comfortable companions to watch with him under this conflict he was not ashamed to profess My soul
is exceeding sorrowful unto death Mat. 26.38 39. and once again and a third time to pray Father if it be possible let this cup pass from me Shall I exspect to be exempt from Shall I be afraid or ashamed to express the passions which were existent in all Gods Saints and from which my Lord and Master himself was not freed I am a Christian but yet a man I am a Minister but yet a man if I dye as I now fear I dye innocently Lord thou knowest I dye for righteousness sake I shall be a Martyr though of the lowest orbe this may mitigate dread but it maketh no change in me or in death yet terrors attend it and passions abide in me The most resolved Paul was so far from being ashamed 2 Cor. 1.8 9. that he was desirous the Church should know he was pressed above measure when he despaired of life and received in himself the sentence of death and 5.4 the most desirous to be cloathed with their House from Heaven could never yet desire to be uncloathed of their earthly Tabernacle nature can be much more content to be changed then to dye Death draweth me out of the bosome of the Wife of my delight divideth me from my Children the glory of my youth driveth me from my Kindred Acquaintance Friends and all humane society Can I part from these with dry eyes can men think I bear to these a natural affection and expect I should bid adiew to them not affected with natural passion doth nature and religion direct me to love them and will they not allow me to grieve when I leave them Death doth discapacitate me for the service of my God and his Church the grave cannot praise him Death cannot celebrate him They who go down into the pit cannot hope for his truth will not Christianity true Piety teach me with dread to discern this estate am I perswaded my life is more profitable for the Church can I then avoid St. Pauls strait Phil. 1 21 22 23 24. and be easily resolved what to choose though to me it is more profitable that I dye Death doth destroy my being when I am dead I am not can dissolution choose but dictate dread to sensible much more to rational beings Death is the wages of sin the witness of Gods wrath and the curse of the Law and by its circumstances made such with an emphasis can then a man of Religion receive the same without reluctancy and great remorse Death is the inlet of mine immortal soul into the Ocean of eternity can I apprehend it without amazement and great astonishment Let malefactours outface out-dare this King of dread and obtain to themselves the name and honour of Martyrs by their only abandoning the fear of death I dare not imitate I must not justifie I cannot I will not follow them these fig-leaves will not hide their sin from the face of God My soul keep thy passions within bounds then fear not to give them vent and to express the same before God and Men impossibile est hominem exuere Christianity doth not require thee to turn stoick and cease to be a man Let the fear of Gods casting thee into hell have the preheminence then cease not to fear mens killing thy body sell not thy self to save a natural life and then spare nothing to redeem the same from death by the exception of this one thing thy self make the Devil a liar as did Job and then be not troubled to set thy seal to a truth spoken by the father of lies viz. that all that a man hath he would give for his life Let not the dread of death transport thee to accept deliverance on terms of sinning against God then be not afraid or ashamed to let men observe thee subjected thereunto mourn not as without hope then spare not to mourn that thou must part from them whose duty it is to mourn over thy grave I bless God I see in nature much in Scripture more abundant reason to make me willing none to make me desirous to dye I look for those things and that estate which I will not exchange for my natural life but I could be glad to enjoy my life and them The cup of death is bitter my stomach riseth at and against it I cannot but pray Oh my Father If it be possible let this cup pass from me If it be possible let this cup pass from me Good Father Let this cup pass from me yet I hope I shall never want grace to subjoyn not my will but thy will be done not my will but thy will be done not my will but thy will be done whilst Death is Death and I a Man I cannot but dread it I cannot desire it I will therefore endeavour to defend my soul against the dread thereof and check my passions by contemplating what may make me content to undergo and cheerfully to stoop unto what I cannot I dare not desire any more then I can avoid or dare decline it when directed by a righteous yea a gracious God to arrest me my soul silence support thy self considering SECT I. DEath is of all things most certain Death is most certain most sure to overtake me to befall me dust I am and to dust I must return my life may be a while prolonged but nothing is more certain then that death will ere long put an end unto it man that is born of a woman is but of few days My natural constitution is corruptible In mans natural constitution not onely obnoxious to the assaults of violence from without but also subject to innate corruption principles destructive to it self my body is at best but an earthly Tabernacle always out of repair and ready to fall patched up by daily bread which will not be able to sustain its being when the grinders begin to fail the Keepers of this my house do already tremble my strong men begin to bow many diseases now grow upon me these are the Harbingers of mine approaching death I do already bear in my back the stone which will ere long most crrtainly batter in peices the earthen vessel of my body this Pitcher may a little while go to the Well but it will at length come broken home The contrary elements and qualities whereof my body is compounded and by which it doth now subsist do conclude the certainty of my death heat and cold moysture and draught are enemies each to other by their opposition my being is upheld and yet the militation of these in me tend to the annihilation of me The hand of violence may indeed hasten on me that estate which nature will most certainly most speedily effect the Plumb which is not plucked will fall the Grass which is not cut will wither the stoutest Oak of longest growth will at last come to dust if it be not consumed to ashes my strength is not the strength of stones nor is my flesh â—rass I am
as a dried leaf my life passeth away as a Weavers Shuttle and withereth like the grass the Ax or Halter can onely hasten what my study and labour is sure to produce in a little time if Death could not otherwise destroy my being these instrmuments enforced by mens cruelty should never do it but it is an easie matter to break a bruised reed and to force a dying life to breath out its last breath My soul my bodily constitution doth not more dispose me to dye then Gods determination doth bind me unavoidably to undergo it By Gods determination Heb. 9.27 It is appointed unto all men and so to me once to dye The conclusion God made with man in Paradise when he made with him a Covenant of life was Gen. 2.17 In the day thou eatest of this fruit thou shalt surely dye the sin was committed the covenant was violated this condition was judicially denounced and duely executed Rom. 5.12 by one man sin hath passed on all men and death by sin the severity of God hath by a most righteous sentence subjected all men to the stroke of death am I a man and expect to be exempted from the common fate of my nature Immortality in the estate of innocency Immortality not natural was of grace not of nature created compounded man was capable of dissolution that grace was once forfeited never restored nature therefore returned to its course will inevitably work my ruine and resolve me into the nothing or the dust out of which I was first made The Lord Jesus Christ hath indeed Christ redeemed not from the stroak of death undoubtedly redeemed me from death but it is from the sting not from the stroak of death he doth secure me from the curse the consequences of death but he stayeth not the returned course of nature from passing on my being hunger cold neakedness sickness sorrows the assaults of violence with all other man-destroying-accidents did befal himself and are incident unto me and are as certainly as effectually destructive to my being since as before Christs death and resurrection I do most certainly believe Some may be changed yet not I. 1 Cor. 15.51 at the coming of our Lord in glory all shall not dye some shall be changed but I have no assurance that I am of that number nor is it probable for though I live in the last and worst days of the world that last day is not so near me as my lives end the great things which must be accomplished before that great and terrible day of the Lord come cannot be effected in those few days nature will permit me to live nor is it probable in this present age I will not envy the Saints then living the happiness of never dying but my soul I see no reason of hope that I should partake thereof Nature disposing me unto death God having determined death to pass upon me I cannot avoid it it will with certainty overtake me at the last It may overtake me sooner then I am aware or look for it I have not the certainty of one days exemption from this most certain condition I am subject to many casualties as well as diseases a tile from an house or a fall from my horse might soon kill me if I were abroad Death commeth on me where ever I am as an armed man whom I cannot resist and come to me the worst that can come it is but death which I can no way shun or long avoid My Soul be wise make a vertue of necessity stoop quietly under that stroke from which thou canst not stir Startle not in sence of that state from which there is no starting Whether I consume my self or be cut down by others it is but death this estate doth unavoidably attend me Let me be content chearfully submissively to bear the evil I am no more able to divert then to desire shall I stomack to entertain the guest whom I daily expect and who commeth with command and irresistable power whose coming I cannot prevent or delay who being come will not be dismissed or sent back for one moment I will bid welcome the certain unavoidable event though hastned by an uncertain unexpected stroak SECT II. DEath is not more certain to me Death is a common state then common to men this is the lot of all men the man liveth not who shall not feel the stroak of Death strong or weak rich or poor noble or ignoble good or bad must all die Great men die The power of Princes may precipitate and hasten the death of others but it cannot protect themselves from the stroak of death no not for a moment as for those who have riches Ps 49.7 8. there is not one of them can redeem his brothers no nor yet his own life from death when I die I shall rest with Kings and Counsellors of the earth Job 3.13 14. with Princes who had gold who filled their houses with silver Death hath subdued the most dreadful Conquerors of the world and devoured the most puissant Armies Strong men die Where are now the Sons of Anack what is become of the Giants of whom we read are they not dead could Sampsons strength repel or Davids Worthies stand under and against the stroke of death Best men dye Piety is no priviledge against the arrest of death John 8.52 53. are not the Patriarcks faln asleep where are the Fathers of old do the Prophets live for ever the best that ever lived died death is an high way a beaten road this tract is trodden Abel Adam Enoch Noah Abraham David Daniel Peter Paul James John yea the Lord Christ himself are all dead these with multitudes of all sorts ranks qualities languages and degrees have gone this way before me why then do I fear to follow after them Death is not more common in its general nature The kind of death is also common then in its special kind Violent death by all ways of ignominy and instruments of cruelty are common to men especially to Martyrs and Gods most faithful Ministers this way Gods Prophets Vrijah Isaiah Zechariah and others Christs Disciples Peter Paul James John and others The Primitive Fathers of the Church Polycarpus Ignatius Justinius and others And our first Reformers from Popish blindness and abominations Cranmer Ridley Latimer Hooper Rogers Bradford Taylor Saunders and many others went out of the world What day returneth without the death of men what age of the world hath passed not stained with the blood of Martyrs or violent death of holy men what kind of death peculiar to malefactors hath not Gods Ministers and Martyrs the zealous reprovers of publick sin been subjected to and undergone My Soul be thy condition what it can thou must conclude there doth no temptation befall me but what is common to man 1 Cor. 10.13 yea to the best of men and to the cheif of Martyrs what if the way
Preacher against the King was not Michaiah carged by the King to be one that bare ill will to the King was not this the very lot of Christ himself suffered not that righteous one as a Blasphemer and as an enemy to Caesar shall I be deterred from following my Master from drinking of the cup whereof my deer redeemer hath begun from travelling in the beaten road of all Gods Prophets the very way prescribed by the Lord himself hath not the Lord Christ declared humane rage and reproach to attend all who faithfully reveal his will and mens sins is not unjust reproach in my death part of Christs cross and my Crown why then do I dread and decline it if I be reproached for the name of Christ I am happy 1 Pet. 4.14 the spirit of glory and of Christ resteth on me It is the cause not the pain maketh the Martyr or Malefactor my soul be not troubled at the kind or clamoured cause of my death were I indeed really guilty did I receive the due reward of my sin I must then have laid my mouth in the dust confessed my sin given glory to God accepted the punishment of mine iniquitie and by an humble act of faith applied the blood of Christ to my soul then I might rest assured that I was condemned in and by the world that I might not be judged of the Lord. But whilst if I dye as I now dread I dye innocently for a good conscience and for the Testimony of the truth Let me rejoyce that God hath accounted me worthy to be reputed the off-scowring of this world and enemy of mankind for my judgement is of the Lord who judgeth most righteous judgement and though my brethren cast me out Isa 66.5 and cry Let the Lord be glorified yet he will appear to my joy and they shall be ashamed when Jesus Christ shall come to judge clear and crown me as his Martyr it shall not repent me that men condemned and cut me off as a Malefactor SECT VII IN death I shall feel pain Death is painful but puts an end to pain It is like I may yet God can make it easie I feel more pain in the precursors then I can feel in the stroak of death the pain and extremity of a killing disease is often and ordinarily more then the pain of death it is usually such as maketh life a burden and death defireable how many in the burnings of a Feavor a fit of the Stone or Collique have wished for death to ease them of their pain my fear of pain in death is much greater then what I shall feel in the stroak thereof the pomp and passage unto death doth and will more perplex my soul then the pain thereof can possibly pinch my sence but suppose the worst yet The greatest pains of death are tolerable and pass away in a moment with how much ease did the Lord Jesus give up the Ghost in that dying act the dreadful expectation of which made him sweat blood and water how many of the Martyrs have with most calm and composed spirits lien under the most cruel and exquisite torments and as Lambs before the Shearer breathed out their last breath in the greatest pains of death that envy could devise or enraged malice could inflict Haukes that holy Martyr in our Marian Persecution in the midst of the flames did not forget to lift up his hands towards Heaven before he gave up the Ghost as a token to his Friends that the raging pain of that siery death was tolerable All Gods Saints have lien on this rack and sitten down on this little ease and shall I give back because of a little tolerable pain Be the pains of death never so peircing sharp and intolerable yet they are short soon pass away and are the Period of all pain in respect of this nature hath conceived and Scripture hath expresly concluded Eccles 7.2 better is the day of a mans death then the day of his birth all my life hath been nothing else but sorrow and pain my days have hitherto passed in anguish affliction and anxiety yea my resting time place and state hath scared me with Dreams Job â— 13 14. and terrified me with Visions in the night so that strangling death any kind of death hath been more desireable then life Shall I now fear that one stroak which though it cut me to the heart will at once cut off all my pain and greif doth not nature teach men to chuse the pain of cutting off an Arm or Leg rather then to lye continually under a festring burning and incurable wound Plotinus the Philosopher accounted mens mortallity Gods special mercy as the expiration of their misery Cato Major that wise Roman reflecting the pains he had endured professed if he might be rendred young again and renew his age he would not desire it he would refuse it Did the pain of life take away the pain of death to Heathens and shall it not much more do so unto Christians who have other and better hopes of future happiness then they ever knew or expected My soul stir up thy self make out a little faith and patience to endure this one pinch and stroak of pain which shall presently cease and be the period of all thy misery the cure of all thy maladies and will heal thee of all thy fears griefs cares diseases and distempers the afflictions of my body and anguish of my mind though I walk through the vale of the shadow of death I will fear none ill for Lord thou art with me be with me O my God that I may not over-passionately fear that little short pain I must feel make thou a lively faith in me to bear up under prevail against and triumph over a lively sence that so my last little pain being past I may possess eternal health and ease and therein rejoyce for that although the stroak of death did for present cut it did for ever cure my soul SECT VIII DEath will deprive me of all sensible pleasure it will so Death depriveth of pleasures but they are sensible and it is no matter for this pleasure was at best but sensible my soul found no pleasure in it nor did it satisfie my very sences these were tired in the possession and use of these Eccles 1.8 The eye is not satisfied in seeing nor the ear in hearing The necessary novelty is an undeniable evidence of the vanity of these delights Sinful It were well if I could say these pleasures were only sensible my soul hath on woful experience found them the pleasures of sin Heb. 11.25 not onely the reward but also the cause of sin I never could possess them without sin I have in this respect paid full dear for all the pleasures I have enjoyed under the sun they have stoln too much of mine heart and affections they have eaten into and eaten up too much of my precious time they have
dulled my sences stupified my soul and discomposed me unto the duties of holiness they have been baits and snares whereby I have been entised unto and entangled in sin they have diverted my soul from seeking and solacing it self in more serious and satisfying delights the sinfulness of my pleasure hath eaten out the sweetness of my pleasure These pleasures of sin are but for a season are often changing Short and do soon vanish will certainly expire cannot endure for ever and leave bitterness behind them when they go away they have cost me more smart and greif when they have been ended then they did afford me joy or content whilst they continued I may willingly dismiss those pleasures which I have bought at so dear a rate possess so uncertainly and for so short a season and proved so vain empty and dissatisfactory My Soul Let me chearfully contentedly cease from my pleasure among the living on earth whilst I shall therein cease from the sinning and sorrowing necessarily attendant on and inseparably annexed unto my pleasures and yet consider all joy is not at an end with me when I die Joy succeedeth and yet remaineth I pass not from all pleasure when parted from these I onely leave what is sensible and sinful but death shall transmit my soul into Gods presence in which are rivers of pleasures for evermore Psal 16.11 can I think the fulness of lasting joys solacing my soul in the sight of God will not compensate my loss of the sensible pleasures of sin which are but for a season did these cast the scales of Moses judgement and affections in his time of life Heb. 11.25 26 27. youth and strength causing him to despise the Crown and glory of Egypt and to chuse affliction with the people of God rather then to be called the son of Pharoah's Daughter And shall not the sence and expectation thereof make me content to leave the delights which I cannot longer enjoy It was my duty to have refused them sooner I may well be content to relinquish them now I can enjoy them no longer My soul yeild unto rejoyce in and bless God for that necessity which doth enforce thy duty and willingly leave those pleasures which would have left thee in bitterness if thou should longer abide in the body the onely subject capable of these sensible pleasures SECT IX DEath will deprive me of all my outward comforts Death doth deprive me of outwardcomforts which I have long enjoyed to supply my necessity goods and possessions in the world Wife Children and Servants which ministred to me Be it so it is Gods mercy I have enjoyed them for so long a time I am in the possession of them a tenant at Gods will he doth not the least wrong to take them from me so kind hath God been to me he hath let me possess them whilst they could do me good and I had need of them when I am dead they connot minister to me I shall have neither need nor use of any or all these comforts I may well be content to leave what I shall not lack what I cannot use it is I confess a mercy to have them but it speaketh imperfection to have need of them is it not much better to be in an estate of perfection without them then to have these comforts to me continued and my self abide imperfect Death doth deprive me of some comforts Such as content not nor continue but they are such which afford no true content nor are they of any continuance they are though the best things under the sun yet at the best they are but things under the sun Eccl. 1.1 2 and all things under the sun are vanity and vexation of spirit they give a little and indeed but a little content to my sence but not any to my soul they were not obtained without care retained without fear nor will they now be relinquished without greif I cannot deny them to be flowers flowers of beauty and pleasure but I must confess I ever found them fading and full of pricks I have not enjoyed them without vexation and if I live longer I shall ere it be long lose them and have them taken from me they all have the wings of the morning and flye away in a moment I can already say of some what I shall soon say of the rest I had servants trusty and faithful to me but they are gone My means by my ministry I had goods yearly renuing my store but it is taken from me I had Children sweet babes the cheif of natures blessings but my Josephs my Benjamins are not mine outward enjoyments have been to me a Gourde of refreshment and present delight Jon. 4.6 7 but a Jonahs Gourde of vanity in the root of which is a worm which doth and will soon make it wither if I pass not from my present comforts they will peirce my soul with care and fear and at last perish in mine hand I may well be content to die from those comforts which are sure to die from me and leave me in sorrow even in worldly sorrow which worketh death 2 Cor. 7.10 What great difference is it for me to be parted from my comforts or to have my comforts parted from me can any thing but a childish temper make me cry when those pleasing toyes are taken from me which I freely leave when tired with them or which I fling from me with fury when I feel my self hurt by them what cause have I to be thus dismaied to be divided from those comforts which I have thus long enjoy'd to supply my need yet with certain dolor and uncertain durance shall I so foolishly love as not be content to leave what loadeth me with care and fear yet cannot last but will be gone from me if I stay longer in this world Death taketh me from my outward comforts but yet I leave them to and for the comfort of my relations and friends which stay behind me they will have the use of them they will do them good though I leave them they are not lost my turn is served by them shall I grudge that others have them to serve their turn as they served mine hath it not been my care to get goods that I might leave them to my Relations and shall I now be unwilling to leave them that little which I have gotten and which can now do me no more good Though death deprive me of some useless moveables yet it leaveth me my most precious jewels and chiefest substance the graces of my soul the glorious priviledges of my faith death cannot touch or take from me and these are more worth then all the world My soul play the Merchant be content to see thy luggage and empty cask cast overboard to save thy choice commodities and thy pearls of price death may take me from riches it cannot touch my righteousness it may anticipate my pompous Funeral but
entertain such an exchange of objects to mine understanding is not my loss great and greatly to be lamented by which I onely loose the knowledge of vanity which would not make me happy and iniquity which would make me miserable but gain the knowledge the perfect knowledg of good much good true and substantial good only good without the least mixture of evil and that in an estate in the enjoyment of perfect glory SECT XII AFter death there shall be no remembrance of me No remembrance of me after death nor of my sin but it s no matter a great name foolishly purchased by the great precipitacie of some in the world is nothing but a great bubble of vanity which will wear out at last time will eat it out of the strongest Cities or marble Monuments and I hope when I am forgotten my sin shame will also be forgotten serious thoughts suggest unto me content the little good I have done should be forgotten so that my folly and wickedness may not be remembred and yet My soul be not dismaid the Scripture doth declare the memory of the just is blessed Psal 10.7 112.6 and the righteous shall be had in everlasting remembrance God hath provided that his peoples names shall live when their dead bodies shall consume in the grave the Lord hath used me whilst I lived as an instrument of his truth and honour can I dye and be forgotten in his Church or among his people shall not my works follow me shall not my works praise me in the gate can the sinners by me reproved or the Saints by me converted to or confirmed in the truth remember themselves their sin or duty and forget me God hath blessed me with many lasting memorials of nature a fruitful progeny I need not build tombs or Cities and call them after my name for when I am dead my sons will preserve the memory of my name the rotting of the name is a curse entailed on men of rotten lives and is ordinarily effected by Gods cutting off the budding race and hopeful progeny whatever hath befallen me in this life God hath not suffered this cause procuring or producing this effect to be my lot I will not therefore torment my self with a fear that it should follow me when dead Notwithstanding my sinfulness my care shall be that my life and death may make it legible that my name is written in the book of life and therein I have cause to rejoyce more then if the devils weâ—â— subject to me Luk. 10.20 I have laid hoâ—d on Gods Covenant he hath given me a place in his sanctuary better then a name of sons and daughters my name can never be blotted out of that book mine interest and relation by that covenant shall ever be acknowledged and remembred I therefore cannot possibly be buried in oblivion SECT XIII DEath will remove me from my place Death wil remove me from my place but it is movable that it shall know me no more it will so but shall this dismay me am not I a pilgrim in this earth as all my fathers were the Patriarchs passed their time on earth in moveable tents Looking for a City whose founder and maker is God Heb. 10.10 the houses in which I have lived have seemed to be more lasting structures yet they never were to me any durable stations I have not indeed removed my tents but I have been often removed from my tents I have ever been in a shifting state moving from one house unto another from one place to another and this hath been to me very tedious and irksom my Father did indeed raise many stately structures In Dublin in Ireland not one of all his sons possessed them or any of them the brick walls may bear his name none of his children do or can inhabit them God hath made constant motion my condition he hath wisely moved me from place to place that I might be in love with no place under the sun if I have liked mine house place never so well I have by one means or other been forced to leave it and that either because it was none of mine or else mens persecuting rage would not suffer me in peace to possess it or because my Masters work hath been done in that place and called me to another How often have I been forcibly removed from people whom I have dearly loved and from places where I thought I had pitched my tent and resolved to rest I digged a grave for my children wherein I intended to have been intombed my self and yet my dead babes are dispersed their graves are at a distance each from other and t is very unlikely my grave should be with any of them If Death remove me from my place it doth nothing but what hath been common to me all my life I will not therefore think it strange once more to remove my place but will readily contentedly pack up and be gone for this remove shall be my last remove for this remove shall be my best remove for this remove shall move me from Earth to Heaven and there I have an house of mine own a better house then any this world affordeth an house not made with hands an eternal house whose builder and maker is God a Mansion house prepared by Christ my precursor for to entertain me and wherein I must and shall abide for ever an house which time cannot waste or ruine nor humane force pull down or raze an house most pleasantly scituated accommodated with all conveniencies exempt from all annoyances and amply furnished with what may make it to me an happy habitation an house it is for which I shall pay no rent or taxes in which I shall not live a tenant at will but I shall possess this house fully freely and for ever being once settled in it I shall not desire to leave it I shall not be sequestred out of it and that which is worth all this house is mine own house mine inheritance purchased for me by my Saviour and passed unto by the gift of my gracious Father none can dispute my title or by an Ejectione firma force me out of my house My soul Shall I not be willing to go to and live in mine own house and that being so well scituate so conveniently formed so well furnished rather then in a strangers inconvenient house Shall I not prefer an house of Gods building before the best of mans shall I not chuse an eternal rather then a decayed falling ruinous habitation My soul be not troubled at this remove thou beleivest in God beleive also in Christ he hath said in his Fathers House are many mansions John 14.1 2. if it were not so he would have told us he is gone before to prepare a place for his removing people shall I not up and after such an harbinger to possess the glorious mansions of his most gracious provision Why is my remove by
death my terror my trouble this remove will transmit me into a station not more permanent then glorious I am removing to a better house yea to possess a KINGDOM A Kingdom not like the Kingdoms of this world not a narrow empty envied distracted divided shaken sinful transient and temporal Kingdom not a Kingdom subject to wars tumults fire famine pestilence ruine and desolation and yet with ambition men do seek with joy they remove into with difficulty and danger they obtain these miserable earthly Kingdoms but my Kingdom to which I shall pass is a spiritual heavenly unshaken united ample abundant undefiled undisturbed peaceable and everlasting Kingdom not subject to any invasion or usurpation to any confusion or commotions to any mutations or violent revolution to any alteration or danger Seeing it is the will of my heavenly Father to give me a Kingdom such a Kingdom and my Kingdom is not of this world why should I be unwilling to leave this world and to go to my Kingdom will any Prince desire to live out of that Kingdom to which he is heir Since O my God! thou hast given me a Kingdom give me a spirit fit for and desirous of this thy Kingdom Let me live and dye worthy the hopes of thine heavenly Kingdom let not this beggarly and these base appendants make me draw back when called to pass into my Kingdom Up my soul enter this strait gate into thy royal Mansion stoop under this cross that thou mayst receive the crown of righteousness and life the incorruptible crown of glory ambition maketh men whose portion is in this life most desperately daring to adventure their all for a poor Cottage-Kingdom subject to commotion shall not grace make me much more willing to put off my natural life that I may put on this living immarcessible Crown which cannot sit on a mortal head and to pass from an house of bondage through a red Sea to a land of rest and pleasure a station permanent and to a Kingdom of glory I will cheerfully remove this once seeing I shall remove to so great advantage and after this I shall remove no more SECT XIV DEath will take me from off my work Death wil end my work yea and my day after it Christs Church shall enjoy no benefit by my Ministry I must now no longer labour in the Lords Vineyard It is very true and this cannot but reduce me to a strait and put me to a stand what to chuse for if I live in the flesh the Church will reap the fruit of my labour that I abide in the flesh is for them more profitable Phil. 1.22 23. nevertheless for me to dye is gain I shall be hereby eased of the charge and care of immortal souls of the pains and burden of my Ministry of the fear and dangers which attend my duty of the toil and travel of all my labour and of the tiring brunt of my working day all which have made me often wish my day were enden and that my night were come There are twelve hours in the day Joh. 11.9 wherein men work and then commeth the night wherein no man worketh My day is not measured by my work but my work is proportioned to my day though I could by my natural strength I cannot work longer for lack of time when my day is done my work is done and shall I not be content with the end of both if my Master ease me of my burthen by ending my day have I any cause to murmur and yet The hinderance of my work shall be no hinderance to my wages Wages shall be sure my two talents well improved for a little time may approve me faithfull when my master commeth Matth. 25.22 23. and 20.9 and so will pass me into my Masters joy as certainly as if I had traded with ten talents and for a longer time he who worketh in my Lords Vineyard but one hour shall receive his penny as well as he who hath endured the heat and brunt of the day I have all my days stretched forth my hands to a stiffnecked and stuborn generation who would not hear mens obduracy hath made my ministry a work of difficulty and danger I have in it been often tyred and willing to lye down and rest yet I never durst look back nor take my hand from the Plough on which my God hath layed it but I shall now find my recompence is with the Lord and my reward is with my God shall I repine to go to him to receive it I will rejoyce I have been so long serviceable in Gods Church and an instrument to glorifie him on earth and it shall be my joy that I must now cease from my labour go home to my Master and be glorified with him in the heavens I shall when dead labour no more in the Lords Vineyard but I shall now drink my self drunk of the fruit of his Vine with himself in his Kingdom I shall no longer serve God on earth but from henceforth I shall sing praises to him for ever in the heavens though the Church militant must loose my labour it shall not loose my masters care he will thrust forth other labourers into his Vineyard and the Church triumphant will enjoy my company to enforce their cry Rev. 6.10 How long Lord before thou wilt avenge our blood on those who dwell on the earth come Lord Jesus come quickly I have done the work of my generation what can I do or desire to do more I have dispatched the business charged on my hand shall I be unwilling to sit still and take mine ease I have delivered the embassie to me committed shall I not willingly return at my Lords command My soul bless God that he would employ weak worthless me and that I have done so much and such work in his house as I have done Let me be no less willing to rest and take my ease then to work at my masters bidding SECT XV. DEath will dissolve my being Death dissolveth my being and dischargeth my burden when I am dead I am not but it will also discharge my burden when I am not I am not greived my self my sin and my sorrow shall all cease together and at once better therefore is the day of my death then the day of my birth through all my life I have found little very little that is desireable but much which I may well spare very much whereof I may desire to be eased for the discharge hereof I may well bid death welcome What hath been my whole life but an estate of sin sorrow of pain and travel a condition full of cares fears greifs temptations afflictions crosses losses persecutions reproaches dangers and great distresses sicknesses and sinful weaknesses and soul-perplexities man that is born of a woman Job 5.7 is born unto trouble aâ— the sparks flye upward these are so natural to me and inherent iâ— me that they exist in
and subsist with my very self I cannot be and be without them I cannot lay them down without laying my self aside vanity vexation and trouble qualifie my life as inseperable to it why am I perplexed with an apprehension that such a life draweth to a period I have all my days been persecuted by humane rage and power and so should be still if I live longer I may well be contented to be resolved into an estate of peace when men have killed my body they have done their worst their all they have me not to insult over they do much better for me then they are aware of they give me a writ of ease from all my travel and trouble in the grave the wicked do and shall cease from troubling Job 3.17 18. the weary shall be at rest the prisoners do rest together and they hear not the voice of the oppressor My soul were there no more in death but this release from greif pain sorrow and travel thou mayest well resign me up to the stroak of death I may be content not to be that so I may not be so miserable well may death be sweet to me to whom my whole life hath been so bitter how many have desired death because of the danger distress and dolour of their lives how many have sinfully destroyed their lives to deliver themselves from their cares fears greifs wants and woful pains I desire not I dare not I will not tempt God and murmur against his providence by hastening my death by a violent untimely unlawful unnatural act of self-violence all the days of mine appointed time I will wait till my change come but I may very cheerfully willingly yeild unto that stroak which is sent of God to ease me of so great a burden the rather because Death is my discharge from sin as well as from sorrow and death onely can be the discharge thereof In iniquity I was conceived Psal 51.5 in sin did my Mother bring me forth sin is to me as natural as my self it is inherent in my being it was born with me it hath grown up with my â—ody that will not that cannot be divided from this this corruptible body is the uphold of the body of corruption these two do stand and will fall together This dying flesh is not only the subject of sence but also the seat of sin the members of my body are the instruments of sin unto and until death how tormenting hath life been unto my soul by reason of temptation unto sin the constant militation of my flesh hath made my life a continual conflict how have I feared to nourish my body because thereby I made provision for the flesh to fulfil the lusts thereof I could never yet tame sin but by buffetting my flesh and by abstracting from the supports of my being I cannot be rid of sin till I be released of life Oh the care to avoid fear to commit sin to which I have been subject how many times have I been forced to embrace sorrow to shun sin and to sit alone exposed to scorn and misery because I durst not run to the excess of riot with other men Mortification of sin hath been the main of my business since I saw the sinfulness of sin and yet do I what I could it would and doth exist in me and prevail upon me to the often checking my comforts hindring my communion with God and wounding my conscience by omissions of and defects in duty by commission of hainous sins and many abberrations from my heavenly father forced to fetch me home by paternal castigation though Gods grace hath maintained in me a constant militation thaâ— sin could not reign in my mortaâ— body and my Father hath ever kept me under the rod of correction yet the law in my members hath rebelled against the law in my mind and led me captive unto sin the best of my life hath been a candid confession and a continual complaint that the good I would do I do not and the evil I would not do that I do and an affectionate outcry Oh wretched man that I am who shall deliver me from this body of sin I must I may whilst I live make it my care to keep under my body lest my sin overcome me and yet whilst I abide in the body I shall bear about a body of corruption the death of this shall be and it onely can be the destruction of that Onely in the grave I shall cease to sin when I am not I shall not be sinful I shall not be a sinner My Soul Dost thou desire to be freed from the suggestions temptations and inclinations to sin and yet tremble at the thoughts of dissolution which will and onely can deliver thee from them all be assured after death thou shalt not be greived for because thou shalt not be stained with thy daily guilt thy sinful nature shall then no more greive the Spirit of thy holy God Hast thou waged a mortal warfare against thy sin all my life and wilt thou now give back in the last mortal stroak though this fall upon thy self with some violence it will certainly give thee the full conquest over thy lusts with which thou hast so long contested fall willingly under that fall which will make thee full victor over these cursed Philistines Come O my soul be willing to stoop that thou mayst lay down thy load submit freely to that stroak which will for ever set thee free from all sin and from all sorrow cease to complain that thy life hath been tedious and tiresom troubleous and toilsom or shew thy self content and truly glad to be eased desire to be dissolved that thy burden of sin and sorrow may be discharged Be still O my soul the stroke of death is dreadful but it once struck doth for ever dismiss and destroy the suggestions of Satan the motions of sin the actings of unrighteousness the apprehensions of Gods wrath and afflictions by mens rage and envy with all other evils who would not bear some dread to be delivered from so great distress when I am dead I shall cease from my labour I shall rest from mine own works of sin and sorrow these are indeed most properly mine own works produced procured by my self created continued by and with my self acted by existent in and with my self to be only desolved and destroyed with my self whilst I am I am as yea above others of my brethren the Butt of Satans rage and mens malice the subject of strong passions and finful motions whilst I have lived I have not done duty to God without great defect I have not delivered my Masters message among men without great danger Satan hath hunted me into sin and wicked men hath hunted me into sufferings they have lien in wait for me they have laboured to make my tongue my trap and to ensnare me by my words but I may now be content these can follow me no further they
shall now lose the sent the grave shall be my burrough in it I shall be quiet I shall then be out of the reach of lust care trouble sorrow sickness temptation and persecution I shall now no more be heard to grieve or groan I will therefore be willing to cease to be that I may cease to be the subject of so bad so sinful qualities SECT XVI DEath will destroy my body Death destroyeth the body but not the soul be it so that is all it can do it hath nothing to do with my soul that remaineth immortal it shall be saved and set in Abrahams bosom â—n eternal happiness as soon as it is out of my body it shall be associated to the spirits of just men made perfect What need I care how it goeth with my worser whilst I have secured and it goeth so well with my better part my soul is an immortal being out of the reach of humane rage and the stroke of death What if men and death kill my body if God will not cast my soul into hell I escape well and much better then I deserve for sin had shipwracked me both soul and body I had forfeited both to divine Justice my soul being saved I live in death O blessed paradox oh happy state I not to dye in dying My body is but an earthen vessel I need not be much troubled if this be broken so that my heavenly treasure be secured and preserved my body is onely the cabinet I see no great cause to be troubled if that be lost whilst the jewel of my soul is safe Paul might well call on the Marriners to be of good chear in the tempest which tare their tackling and sunk their ship being able to assure them Acts 27. no mans life should be lost but the ship onely I travel with my soul through briars and thorns shall I wonder that I am pricked and that my cloaths are rent off me My soul is of such value that all is to be adventured and thrown over-board for its salvation What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul Matth 16.26 my body is dear to me I will do what I can to preserve it but my soul is much dearer this must be defended by exposing my body to danger and destruction skin for skin riches honours pleasures peace all my natural comforts and outward blessings I would give for my life but these and life and all will I give for my soul 1 Pet. 1.18 My soul is redeemed not with corruptible things as silver and gold but with the precious blood of Jesus Christ Christ laid down his life to redeem my soul and shall not I willingly lay down my life to keep my redeemed soul O thou the Shepherd and Bishop of my soul keep it within thy sheepfold untill thou shalt lead it unto thy glory I will not then be solicitous what may befall or become of my body seeing I am under a necessity of suffering loss I will rejoyce that my loss is not greater such as might have undone me for ever welcome death to my body temporal death which consisteth with the life and immortality of my soul and passeth it into the fruition of eternal life my soul may be saved by and under the loss of my body but my body could not be saved if my soul were lost Oh strange Oh blessed trade the loss I am like to sustain is mine infinite gain this loss of my body shall save my soul for in the cause of Christ and his Church he who would save his life must lose it Mat. 16.25 SECT XVII DEath will seperate my soul from my body Death seperateth soul and body but not me and God it will so but it cannot seperate me from God and that was the design of death it cannot seperate either the one or the other from the love of God in Christ Jesus I am perswaded neither life nor death nor Angels nor principalities nor powers nor things present Rom. 8.38 39. nor things to come nor any other creature shall be able to seperate us from the love of God which is in Chrict Jesus our Lord shall not this inseperable love to me meet with an answerable return of love from me and make me with confidence and resolution conclude tribulation nor distress nor persecution nor famine nor nakedness nor peril nor sword shall not seperate Christ from me as it is written for thy sake are we killed all the day long and accounted as sheep to the slaughter love is a principle of union it cleaveth to and looketh after its object in its most low estate and lost condition Death shall not make me to be despised or forsaken by my God This God is my God Psa 48.14 my God for ever and ever and he will be my guide unto death yea in and through the vail of the shadow of death his rod and his staff shall comfort me and 23.4 the Lord his esteem of and relation to my soul and body abideth as well and as much though not by the same acts and expressions of affection now they are seperated from as whilst they were united each unto other God doth triumphantly observe the faith and patience by which I endure the tearing of them each from other for the testimony of his truth he doth dispatch his Angels to attend my death and to conveigh my soul into Abrahams bosome to the immediate enjoyment of himself nor doth he disregard my body when divided from my soul or disesteem the dust thereof he causeth it to be mourned over by my friends and natural relations and to be buried with the greatest solemnity poor they can observe yea he loveth it and looketh on it as united to Christ though laid in the grave or dispersed on the earth all my members are written in Gods book Ps 139.16 not one of them must be lost or miscarrie they shall not be neglected my dust is precious in Gods sight not a grain of it shall be lost after it is sown in the earth it shall most certainly spring up as precious seed watered with the dew of heaven the word of the Lord to Zion and all her sons doth assure them and me that her dead men shall live together with his dead body they shall arise awake and sing ye that dwell in the dust Isa 26.19 for thy dew is as the dew of herbs and the earth shall cast out the dead My body remaineth Gods Jewel when it hath lost that lustre the soul did give it God locketh it up in the grave as in his cabinet God well knoweth my body is liable to danger in the day of his wrath against the inhabitants of the earth the grave is the receptacle from distress whereinto he doth gather it know my soul and body you when divided do abide objects of Gods compassion complacency and care enter into your chambers
the cross can I chuse but desire these should be can I chuse but leap for joy to know that these invisible things are eternal My soul stand still upon thy dying shore take a second a serious view of eternity as affixed to thy salvation to thine inheritance to thy glory and to thy life and tremble be troubled at the thoughts thereof if thou canst thou wilt be more ready to tumble thy self headlong into then once to turn back from thine Eternity First then Eternal salvation Death determineth all my woe it giveth me an immunity from all evil it passeth me into the possession of salvation salvation from sin from sorrow from weakness from sickness from all defects and deformities from all infirmities and imperfections from diseases of body disgrace unto my name and distempers of mind from all the envy of Satan rage of men and wrath of God is the happy and certain sequel of my death through Christ my Lord. Can it possibly greive or amaze me to see and to know that this salvation is eternal or that I am going to possess and enjoy it for ever shall my heart ake to appprehend it shall never ake more shall I blear mine eyes with weeping because God is about to wipe all tears from mine eyes for ever Have not I beleived and preached this salvation and the eternity thereof shall now mine entrance thereinto be mine affliction I have professed my self did and would and I have earnestly perswaded others to persevere in piety pressing to salvation and waiting for the time when there should be no more weeping or woe no more pain or greif no more fear or sorrow no more distress death or danger and shall I now give back when God hath brought me to that time shall I dread the discharge of evil which I have all my days desired and groaned for or shall the eternity of this immunity embitter mine expectation or enjoyment of it do I retain the sence of evil and can I desire to return to it again have not the Paroxismes of a Feaver the Fits of an Ague of the Stone or Collick perplexed me and made my strength to fail have not the threats of humane rage filled my soul with terror and exceeding dread have not mine apprehensions of Gods wrath and eternal woe which my sin hath deserved filled my heart with horror my soul with fear and greif and my bones with trembling shall I now fear to be put into that estate wherein all these evils shall end for ever wherein I shall never more feel it I shall never more fear it Oh blessed Eternity annexed unto so great salvation 2. Mine Inheritance is eternal Death putteth my soul into the possession of mine inheritance the inheritance which Christ hath purchased for me which God hath promised to me the inheritance among the Saints the inheritance of the Saints in light the inheritance of an house in heaven the inheritance of the blessed mansions of God the inheritance of a Kingdom the Kingdom of Heaven the Kingdom of God in this inheritance I shall inherit the confluence of all honour and happiness in this inheritance I shall sit down a Co-heir with Jesus Christ the onely begotten the onely beloved Son of God shall it greive me that this inheritance is eternal is not Eternity the Emphasis the excellency of this inheritance my soul could never be so much ravished with the plenty pleasure scituation society greatness and glory of this mine inheritance as it would be damped and deadned discouraged and discomfited with the vanity the transiency of the same what a cutting consideration would it be to think there were but a possibility of a cutting off from this inheritance or of my being cast out of it though but for a time unto this inheritance I have been called by the glorious Gospel I have been sealed by the blessed spirit of adoption I have received in my self the earnest the first fruits of this inheritance I have been thereby encouraged in mine expectation and enflamed in my desire of a full possession thereof shall I now draw back and decline mine inheritance and the enjoyment of it because it is incorruptible and fadeth not away because it is eternal without end I have ever deemed and determined the most rich and honourable inheritance on the earth a pompous vanity because it is temporal and transient Shall I now dread to enter into the possession of that inheritance which is Real because Eternal can I be so foolish as to desire the worm of time should eat into my fair estate and make my flourishing inheritance to fade I have all my days lived a child in nonage longing for and looking at but kept out of mine inheritance but I am now at age I shall now become a man a grown man and enter upon and into mine estate and this is my comfort mine advantage I shall abide a man a perfect man for ever the second childehood of old age shall not overtake me to deprive me of or discapacitate me to enjoy this my heavenly inheritance Oh! how have I longed and laboured how have I panted and prayed how have I pleaded with God how have I pressed against the power of men and Devils to get into the possession of this inheritance now I am come to the door shall I stand at the Threshold shall I dread to enter in sit down and possess mine inheritance because it is eternal will eternity be the burden of my heavenly estate My soul embrace death the door the dark entry which passeth thee into thine inheritance proceed with joy with courage praise God for the eternity of thy future state is not this my substance much better because more enduring then all my worldly goods hath not the hope of this made me content with the loss and to take joyfully the spoyling of those shall desireable delight eternity dismay my soul entring into the possession of what I have so much esteemed so long expected who would not exchange a Lease for life for an inheritance to be enjoyed for ever who would not part with all to purchase to possess such an inheritance a Royal Heavenly holy inheritance and shall I not gladly breath out a dying life to affix and secure eternity to this mine inheritance 3. Eternity is affixed to glory Death shall invest my soul with GLORY Eternity must needs be the sparkling lustre of GLORY mine Inheritance shall be a Glorious Inheritance and so much more glorious by being eternal mine inheritance is a palace not a poor cottage a mansion not a moveable Tent a Kingdom not a Country Village an Heavenly not an Earthly Kingdom a Kingdom of God not of men and is not this a Glorious Inheritance would not any man desire to enjoy this for ever Mine Inheritance or estate in this world hath ever been poor vile and base but my soul shall now pass into Glory and be invested with nothing but Glory I