Joshua that I and my house wold serve the Lord. And although it was a bitter pill to me to bear the cross before yet now my God hath made it easie and I praise the Lord thâ—ough his grace I can go under it with a great deal of comfort and he hath now discovered to me the way of his working in those things which before were wonderful strange to me Many special promises I found great comfort in some that I remember are these that follow viz. 1 Pet. 5.6,7 Humble your selves therefore under the mighty hand of God that he may exalt you in due time Casting all your care on him for he careth for you This promise I have found of a truth made good to me in some measure I have applyed it often and have found the comfort of it 2 Con. 1.29 My grace is sufficient for thee From this place I found much comfort knowing the fulness of so glorious a portion Jam. 1.2,3,4 Count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations knowing this that the tryal of your faith worketh patience But let patience have her perfect work that ye may be perfect and intire wanting nothing This administred great joy to me against all temptations Isa 55.1 Ho! every one that thirsteth come ye to the waters of life and he that hath no mony come ye tâ—…uy and eat This gave great comfort to my Soul at several times though it was so much cast down And that which gives me great content and comfort is the seal of God Spirit in my heart giving evidence of peace in the blood of Christ between God and my Soul by these testimonies 1. My love to God is so that I am confident if the Lord keep me with his Spirit which at this time he hath bestowed upon me I could be content to part with any thing or lay down my lise for his glory if he would call me to it 2. The Lord hath been pleased so toâ—inrich my Soul with his Spirit that I loath the things of the World when they would draw me in any thing from submitting to the motions of Gods Spirit in my heart I once thought nothing could have drawn me from the love of the vain things of the world but now I do as much disdain them for God and more than then I loved them 3. I desire to follow Gods Ordinances and find great enlargments of my heart to God both to and in the Ordinances And particularly from Mr. S. Mr. W. and others from whom many things have fallen that have much refreshed my Soul and I find my heart in duties to God more refreshed than in any thing 4. I find much peace in my conscience because of a free submission which his Spirit hath wrought in my Soul to all the commands of Jesus Christ and I find comfort in that true circumcision which is in my heart wrought by his Spirit 5. I find every every day so great a peace in my Soul and such comfort in God that I could be willing and I bless God find in my self a readiness to dye every moment XXII Experiences of A. A. ABout two years since my Husband was sore wounded which I took as a great tryal not having above a month to go with Child and I was troubled at it And about a quarter of a year after I was up all my Children were sick together of the small Pox. Yet all this did not work upon me inwardly so sensibly as about a month afterwards that one of my Children dyed suddenly when I thought he had been near well then I said the wages of sin is death thinking that the Lord had warned me by Fatherly threatnings before but I did not hearken to him and therefore I thought he smote me now by the death of my Child But yet I could not enter into any particular sins that God should strike at only in general I sought the Lord to lay open my sins to me I was very much troubled that the Lord took my child so suddenly from me but was comforted by Mr. Strong in some Sermons preached from the words the Church to Paul going to suffer at Jerusalem Acts 21.14 When he would not be perswaded we ceased saying The will of the Lord be done So I was setled pretty well in my thoughts till suddenly the Lord struck the elder of my two Children then living which was a Boy my other which is a Girl I did not so much value but now I do and know Gods mercy in sparing her but my Child that then dyed was the chief comfort that my heart was fixed upon in this world which was so great a grief to me that I have slept few nights quiet I desired to know the mind of God what he would do with me Sometimes I should have difpaired through great busfetings inwardly but that the Lord sustained me Sometimes I thought that the wrath of God was hindled against me thinking never to have comfort in this world again But blessed be the Lord for it he hath often comforted me in this that I have thought he did it in love to me yet sometimes I have feared that I should despair and that the hand of God was against me in it having been troubled with thoughts that I was the death of my children Thus I have been between hope and dispair and could not find what the Will of God was in it towards me And I had fears that the hand of God was still against me for further punishment because I have had many temptations upon me in low thoughts of God But I have gone to prayer and desired the Lord to deliver me and discover his mind to me in every thing that I do and have found a willingness to part with any thing even to cut off a limb or any thing if I could find out what it was And I bless God I have found a good spirit resisting the bad Yet I have been under much fear that I was not a child of God But it hath pleased God to comfort me in this that Pauls life was subject to temptations therefore I had hope and cast my self upon the mereies of God resolving that if I perish I perish never daring to offend willingly in any thing that I know to be a sin yet I know I am a wretched sinner but I humbly desire to do the will of God so far as I am able And in that I can say with David Psal 42.1 As the heart panteth after the water-brooks so panteth my soul after thee O God I find comfort with him to say Why art thou cast down O my Soul and why art thou disquieted within me hope thou in God for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance verse 5. And I will look unto the Lord with the Prophet Micha I will wait for the God of my Salvation my God will hear me Mich. 7.7 And I have found much comfort in applying several promises to my
not and what I did think him to be I told him that I had read in the Scriptures and they held him out to be the Son of God and that he came to seek and to save that which was lost Then said Mr. Young unto me why do you draw back in not coming to hear the Word I told him it was because of the deridings of the people I but said Mr. Young you must persevere and hold on in a continuance opening some Scriptures as that of the Hebrews that being once enlightened and having tasted the good word and of the powers of the world to come if that Soul should fall away then there would be nothing but a fearful looking for the fiery indignation of God This did much trouble me so that I was very fearful to be damned Then Mr. Young did open that Scripture in 1 Thess 1.4,5 You say that you know Jesus Christ to be your Saviour therefore take heed for Jesus shall appear in flaming fire against all those that know him not nor obey not his Gospel This put me in great fear and horror worse than before Then I did intreat Mr. Young to tell me what the Gospel was and he bid me read in the first of Matth. and there it was this that The Gospel was the glad tidings to the shepherds that it was the good will of God to send Jesus Christ to save sinners whereof I did confess with the Apostle Paul that I was chief Mr. Young at parting gave me these Instructions That I should be very careful what company I did go into and that I should always remember my Creator in the days of my youth and this was very fresh in my memory and did strengthen me very much against the temptations of Satan and kept me from frequenting those Companions that I did formerly use and if at any time I met them and heard their idle words then this Scripture did often come into my mind Remember thy Creator in the days of thy youth and did very much chear my spirits and carry me along for many years untill it pleased God to bring me to London and coming to Black Fryers under the Ministry of Dr. Gouge I was very much edified for two years together but coming to live at VVestminster I did profit but little again untill it pleased God to send Mr. Marshal and hearing of him speaking out of Jeremiah 14. of the famine being in the outward man but there was the famine of the Word of God at Westminster it made me very attentive to his Doctrine he complaining what a barbarous place Westminster had been but now he did hope that the Word of God would take effect in the hearts of some of his Hearers and truly so it did on my heart for I was a constant hearer of him and then going to a friends family I heard them repeat the Notes that they had taken from Master Marshal and since I continued with that Company of Godly people and now it is the desire of my Soul to have fellowship with the Father and the Son that my Soul may thrive in grace and in the knowledge and great love of that God that so loved the World that he gave his Son to dye to save such as I am and that whosoever comes to him should not perish but have eternal life with whom I beseech the Lord I may walk in a more close way to the end of my life than ever I have yet done J. H. XIV Experiences of T. P. I Have had thoughts concerning my Spiritual condition and made search into my Soul touching my estate in relation to GOD and what testimony I can find of my interest in and conversion to God And I have found this to be the way of Gods working to bring me to himself through his great mercy in the Lord Jesus It hath pleased God ever since I was born to place me under the means of the Gospel the neglect whereof hath been a great trouble and grief unto my Soul this with many sins more lay heavy upon my Conscience especially some offence and wrong offered against the People of God insomuch that the terrors of Hell laid hold upon me and I began with Cain to cry out that my burthen was more than I was able to bear I was a damned creature I was ouâ— of the presence and favour of God and never like to see his face with comfort ready with Judas to destroy my self I continued in thiis condition many years But God of his exceeding mercy kept me from that great sin and at last I received some comfort in that the Lord proclaimeth himself to be the Lord God gracious merciful long-suffering in forgiving sins and that he desired not the death of a sinner but rather that he should live And again he saith If our sins were as Scarlet he will make them as white as Snow or VVooll Again I am the Lord and change not therefore ye Sons of Jacob are not consumed These with many other promises of Free Grace and Mercy yielded some comfort to my Soul yet for a long time I was troubled if I prayed I feared my prayers were an abomination unto the Lord at last knowing the Lord heard the Ninivites that were Heathens I thought he was as able to save my Soul And it hath been my care to wait upon God in the means knowing that Faith cometh by hearing the word and upon all occasions to search my own heart what part of the word belonged unto me and what did not I received some comfort from these promises I will not break the bruised reed nor quench the smoaking flax Come unto me all ye that and weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest and He that cometh unto me I will in no wise cast off These gracious promises cause me to desire to draw near to God in union and in communion with whom I hope for fellowship to all eternity T. P. XV. Experiences of M. W. VVHen I lived in Ireland and was in fulness of outward enjoyments I had my thoughts much taken up about the things of the World but little seriously touching the Salvation of my Soul but some years since being at Liverpoole in Lancashire I heard a Sermon preached by Mr. Tompson his Text was redeem the time because the days are evil Many things he spake so home to my Soul that I was very much troubled I had spent so many days in evil That I had been covetous and proud and impatient in the former days of my life Yet it pleased the Lord I had an Husband that was an honest Man and one that feared God who had often given me good counsel and perswaded me to make some promises of amendment But I had Children and Servants and Cattel and lived plentifully in Ireland from whence I had lately come with my Husband and Family and indeed there had been no real conversion though I had often thoughts towards God and
W. XVI Experiences of I. I. VVHen I was in the midst of my wealth and worldly enjoyments I was vain covetous and wholy had my heart taken up with the things of the World little or nothing minding the things of God or thinking of a change but went on in presumption putting the evil day far off minidng only for the present what pleased the flesh untill about eight years since I had many outward crosses befell me and was in some want and then being under that dispensation I was much troubled and full of grief I sought to the Lord and begged deliverance from my afflictions and distresses as to outward wants but had not an heart to consider what was the cause or to seek out the mind of God in it until I heard Dr. Holmes shewing sin to be the cause of all our crosses The consideration hereof did come close unto my spirit and I had a clear conviction of my vanity and foolish doting on worldly things which had justly provoked the Lord I hope for my good to lay those crosses upon me which though they were for a time bitter yet God hath since sweetned But my sorrow was then doubled and I was dejected not only for my outward crosses but more especially for my carnal heart and vain conversation whereby I had stirred up the anger of the Lord against me I went to the Ordinances hoping to find comfort from the Word but the weight of my sins and my sufferings so pressed me down that I found much heaviness My sins especially lay heavy upon me and I saw little hope of comfort yet the Lord was pleased to work in my heart a loathing of sin as well as trouble for the affliction it had brought upon me But about a year since I heard Master W. prove by Scripture in a Sermon very effectual to my comfort that those who have been the greatest of sinners if they do heartily and really repent and turn to God by faith in Christ and lead a new life the Lord will receive them to mercy Hereupon I argued with my Soul that though I had been a great sinner yet the Lord had brought my heart to a loathing of those sins I loved and of all sins and to turn to the Lord and sincerely to desire to serve him That therefore there was hope of mercy for me I heard Mr. W. Mr. M. and others and frequented divers meetings where I found much comfort Those several places of Scripture in which I chiefly found comfort from the Promises of God are Matth. 11.28,29,30 where Christ saith Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest Take my yoke upon you and learn of me for I am meek and lowly in heart and ye shall find rest unto your Souls for my yoak is easie and my burden light This made me to hope that as the Lord hath given me an heavy heart laden with the sense of sin so Christ Jesus will give me comfort for in the 12 verse of the same Chapter it is said a bruised reed shall he not break and and smoaking flax shall he not quench And though I had dishonoured Christ yet I had not blasphemed the Holy-ghost and therefore had incouragement to believe from the words of Christ Luke 12.10 Whosoever shall speak a word against the Son of Man it shall be forgiven him but unto him that Blasphemeth against the Holy Ghost it shall not be forgiven I was comforted to wait upon the Lord in hope because he had humbled my Soul and opened mine eyes to see mercy offered to me and this was strengthend from that example Lament 30.20 to verse 26. My Soul hath them still in remembrance and is humbled in me This I recall to mind therefore have I hope It is the Lords mercy that we are not consumed because his compassions fail not They are new every morning Great is thy faithfulness the Lord is my portion saith my Soul therefore will I hope in him The Lord is good unto them that wait for him to the Soul that seeketh him I was much incouraged from hence to seek the Lord and hope in his mercy My conscience told me I was a great sinner and deserved death and Hell but my hope was in God and strengthened from that promise Ezek. 18.21,22,23 If the wicked will turn from his sins that he hath committed and keep all my Statutes and do that which is lawfull and right he shall surely live he shall not dye All his transgressions that he hath committed they shall not be mentioned unto him In the righteousness that he hath done he shall live Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked shall dye saith the Lord God and not that he should turn from his ways and live And the Lord was pleased to put into my spirit a very great resolution to serve him for the time to come and I praise my God I have had since much joy in duties of Piety and much sweetness from the Word of God and goldly Ministers I have no desire to enjoy the pleasures and vanities of the World as I have done but my heart now takes delight in God and communion with his people and the Lord hath given me an heart in discern a beauty and desirableness in the ways of God which are more joyful to me now than ever sin was formerly and when I come at the Ordinances I often find and feel such heavenly refreshments from the Lord upon my heart that it makes me exceeding full of joy There is such a love upon my heart to God that I dare not willingly offend him in any thing I rejoyce to hear his name spoken of and his glory exalted And I find a very great affection drawn by the power of God from my heart to such as seem to be his people J. J. XVII Experiences of E. C. ABout nine years agoe at the Birth of a Child I had very great temptations of destroying ing my self and have had oftentimes a knife put into my hand to do it so that I durst not be left by my self alone and when I had considered what the causes might be my Conscience did hint most my neglecting of duties which I had many opportunities to have performed they being the Ordinances of God Thus I continued till two years agoe I buryed a Child which was a very great trouble to me to part with and then was I more fully convinced of sin which caused my burthen to be the greater so that I could seldom have any other thoughts but of desperation but the Lord kept me by his great mercy so that sometimes I could pray with devotion and discern the Lord to remove this great trouble from me I did plainly find that those great temptations were very much lessened which was a very great comfort unto my spirit but yet this still was upon me that I could read the Promises but I found none of them to belong to me
not at that time take comfort in any thing and had I not been with child affected with natural inclination to the Babe in my womb I had been in danger had not God prevented me to have destroyed my self for I had some temptations that way but my God strengthened me yet before I was brought to bed I found peace and comfort and through grace had such settlement in my spirit that I could with joy night and day call upon my God believingly but before I attained to this I had many sore conflicts until after some considerations that the Lord had put into my mind as first touching the child that I went with because God hath said The just and innocent slay thou not and then considering the innocency of the child it became a means to stay my hand from laying violence upon my self Yet for a time I was much troubled in spirit till God gave me peace from these and other Scriptureâ— promises where the Lord saith Call upon me in the day of trouble and I will deliver thee thou shalt glorify me Psal 50.15 Sin shall not have dominion over you for ye are noâ— under the Law but under grace Rom. 6.14 Now the testimonies of my conversion and true believing in which I hope I have a seal of my Interest in the Lord Iesus are these 1. My love to God which is real sincere and hearty desiring him above any thing else whatsoever 2. My relying upon Jesus Christ having nothing of my own to rest upon I fly to him and rest oâ— him for all as my alone Saviour and Redeemer 3. I delight to read the holy Word of God and to hear or other wise to partake thereof in which I find much comfort 4. The comfort which I find by inlargement of my soul when God comes in under the means in dutys and the loathnesse I have to be deprived of the Ordinances 5. The Peace I find with my God in my soul which is sweet though not without much heaviness of spirit for my failings I do not live without waines and changes in my Spiritual life and faith towards the Lord for sometimes I trust God with all and at other times I meet with some donbtings yet blessed be God I find them more and more asswaged and my communion with Christ every day more sweet and full 6. I doubt not but the Lord Jesus Christ my Redeemer will so support me through his Grace that what ever my condition hath been or shall be here I shall not fail of salvation through Christ in heaven for ever L. P. XXXV Experiences of F. P. I Have been troubled at the thoughts of my corruptions and wretched condition I have formerly had some doubtings touchings the Scriptures whether they were truth or not but have been since troubled that I made those foolish doubtings to question Gods word and was so wounded in my Conscience for my sin therein that I feared I should be damned for it because I thought it was a sin that God would not pardon I had also strange thoughts about the sinful wayes of ungodly people and considering how loosely people live I and temptations to perswade me that surely there was some easier way to Heaven then the Scriptures had laid down or then I had learnt But for these evil thoughts of mine I have been so afflicted in my spirit that I thought I was a damned wretch I have been tempted by these blasphemous thoughts against the Lord which have so afflicted me that sometimes I feared the Devil would fetch me away and carry me to Hell and I have thought sometimes that surely God could not in justice pardon such sinnes as I have committed I have also been tempted to make away my self but the Lord God put me in mind to consider that it would not give me ease or comfort but be the way to enter into endless miseries And thus I lay afflicted with a most sad trouble some spirit for about a year yet though with little hope from my present sence I had desires that God would save me and some groanings I had after him And in his time which is best I began to find inlargement of heart from God and a great longing for Christ which encreased through the working of his glorious power so that me thought I could have been content to have gone through all the miseries in the World to have enjoyed him And in my sleep I dreamed that I saw my Saviour lying in a Grave and after again I saw him risen from death when I awaked and had some thoughts about my dream I found comfort in my soul and begun more sweetly to hope that Christ Jesus dyed for my sins and is risen again for my justification but the Devil who goes about like a roaring Lyon did still tempt me so that I was again ready to despair for my former evil thoughts and I was afraid that Satan would have me and I doubted that God had no part in me which caused me to weep much and I was exceedingly troubled and sometimes thought that verily I heard the Devil coming in a Whirlwind for me and so terrified was my conscience that from the thoughts of the wrath which I feared I could have wished my self a Beast a Dog or any thing because their misery would have an end But aftermany comfortable discourses with friends and reading some godly books that came to my hands the Lord God in time delivered me from those temptations and hath since comforted me with these Promises to the great joy of my heart though some times I have not been without some doubtings The Lord hath said Be content with such things as ye have for he hath said I will never leave thee nor forsake thee so that I may boldly say the Lord is my helper Heb. 13.5,6 The Lord saith sin shall not have dominion over you Rom. 6.14 This hath often given me much comfort and kept up my soul when I have been ready to despair And Christ saith I will pray the Father and he shall give you another comforter that he may abide with you for ever even the Spirit of truth John 14.16,17 And I have this testimony of my interest in Christ by faith wrought by his blessed Spirit in me 1 I see such a frailty in my flesh that except the Lord send his holy Spirit to inable me I cannot do any thing of my duty to God of my self it is the Spirit of the Lord and not any thing in me that is the foundation of my comfort 2. I have had many times if my heart deceive me not clear testimonies and evidences that I love God more than any thing else and desire him above all 3. I desire much to hear the Word and am troubled that sometimes it doth not so pierce into my heart as I desire 4. I have sometimes such sweet comforts and enlargements in my soul that I find much peace with God thereby which I
but this I found by experlence to the praise of my God's Free Grace that as troubles have abounded my consolations have abounded much more For God brought seasonably into my mind many precious promises which were as so many sweet Cordials which much supported and comforted my heart and upheld my spirit when new storms have arisen and unexpected deliverances have followed And I have and do resolve by God's Grace not to distrust him any more Yer though more and greater dangers shall arise yet I will trust in him and stay my self upon him Though as Job said he should slay me The good Lord establish my heart in this good and holy resolution who is able to keep us to the end and hath promised that he will preserve us by his power through Faith to the Salvation of our Souls In regard of Satan's Temptations especially concerning my coming to the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper my Experience have been these Finding often that I was very unable to fit and prepare my self for a comfortable approach to that sacred Ordinance I used to desire the prayers of the Congregation unto God in my behalf and used the best endeavour I could in private as God enabled me though I came far short of what was required and of what I desired So that I did trust and hope through God's mercy to find a comfortable day of it and to have it a sealing Ordinance to my Soul But on the contrary I found much deadness and little spiritual tast relish and comfort in the use of it so that my spirit was oft much troubled and cast down in me fearing lest I had some secret sin undiscovered and unrepented of which caused the Lord thus to hide his face from me But then my gracious God brought this into my mind that the Lord doth sometimes afflict us for the exercise and improvement of our graces as well as to humble us for our sins I also considered that as the Lord doth tender great mercies to us in this Sacrament renewing his Covenant of Grace and sealing to us the pardon of our sins in the Blood of Christ so he gives us leave to ingage our selves by renewing our Covenant with him to believe in him and to trust upon Christ for Life and Salvation And it pleased God to give me Faith to apply this to my own particular Soul and a while after to shew me and to make good to my Soul that precious and comfortable promise That tho' he hides his face from us for a little moment yet with mercy and lâ—ving kindness he will return to us again This was a wonderful comfort and support to my dejected heart Blessed be the Lord for ever I desire to treasure up these Experiences that for the future I may in the like case resolve to put my whole trust and conâ—idence in him that so Satan may not intrap me in his snares through unbelief but that I may resist him stedfast in the Faith For I am not altogether ignorant of his devices God's promise is that in all these things we shall be more than Conquerors through him that hath loved us And hath said that This is the Victory whereby we overcome the World even our Faith 1 John 5.4 In the year 1664 there came to us the sad News of the death of my second Son Mr. John Clark a godly faithful and powerful Minister Thus as the waves of the Sea follow one another so God is pleased to exercise his Children with one affliction after another he sees whilst we carry about us this body of sin we have need of manifold Tryals and Temptations as saith the Apostle 1 Pet 1.6 Now for a season ye are in heaviness if need be through manifold temptations to keep us under and to make us the better to remember our selves Indeed it hath been the Lord's course and dealing with me ever since he stopped me in the way as I was posting to Hell to raise up one affliction or other either inward or outward either from Satan the World or my own corrupt heart and nature not having wisdom and grace to behave and carry my self as I ought under his various dispensations and providences as appeared at this time by his laying so great and grievous an affliction upon me in taking away so dear a Son from whom I had much Soul-comfort and ardent affections which he manifested by his fervent prayers for me and by his spiritual Letters and Writings to me wherein he applied himself suitably to my comfort in those inward troubles of heart and spirit that lay upon me This caused my grief and sorrows to take the greater hold on me upon the loss of one who was so useful to me Yet hereby I do not derogate from my Elder Son from whom I have the like help and comfort Upon this sad occasion my grief grew so great that I took no pleasure of any thing in the World but was so overwhelmed with melancholy and my natural strength was so abated that little food served my turn and I judged that I could not live long in such a condition Hereupon I began to examine my heart why it should be so with me and whether carnal and inordinate affections were not the great cause of my trouble which I much feared And having used many Arguments and laid down many Reasons to my self to quiet and moderate my passions yet nothing prevailed to quiet and calm my heart and to bow me to the obedience of Gods revealed Will And withal considering that it was God only that could quiet the heart and set our unruly and carnal affections into an holy frame and order and that he was a present help in time of trouble I often and earnestly sought the Lord with many Prayers and Tears beseeching him to quiet my heart and to over-power and tame my unruly affections so as to be willing to submit unto him and to bear his afflicting Hand patiently and fruitfully and to be ready and willing to submit either in doing or suffering whatsoever he pleased to impose upon me and to be ready to part with the best outward comfort I enjoyed whensoever he should please to call for the same And it pleased God seasonably to hear my Prayer to regard my Tears and to grant my Requests by calming and quieting my heart and spirit and to give me much more contentedness to submit to his holy Will and good Pleasure who is a God of Judgment and knows the fittest times and seasons to come in with refreshing comforts and who waits to be gracious unto those that trust in him Yet surely I was not without many temptations in this hour of darkness from that subtle Adversary who always stands at watch to insinuate and frame his temptations answerable to our conditions and like a roaring Lion walks about continually seeking to devour poor yet grecious Souls Then I called upon the Lord in my distress and he answered me and delivered me Bless
heartily concerned for the pious education of his Children wishing that his son might never be a wit that is said he that he might never be one of those wretched Creatures who pride themselves in abusing God and Religion denying his being or his providence but that he might become an honest and a religious man which could only be the support and blessing of his family complaining what a vicious and naughty world his children were brought into and that no fortunes or honours were comparable to the love and favour of God to them in whose name he blessed them prayed for them and committed them to his Protection He had one son and three daughters and once calling them all before him he said to a Gentleman then present that he might there observe how good the Almighty had been to him in bestowing so many blessings upon him but that he had carried himself to God like an ungratious and unthankful Dog He gave strict charge to those Persons in whose custody his papers were to burn all his prophaneand leud writings as being only fit to promate vice and immorality by which he had so highly offended God and shamed and blasphemed that holy Religion into which he had been baptized and all hisobscene and filthy pictures which were so notoriously scandalous He shewed much readiness to make restitution to the utmost of his power to all persons whom he had injured and for those whom he could not make compensation to he prayed for God's and there pardons And he was remarkably just in taking all posible care for the payment of his debts which before he confessed he had not so fairly and effectualy done He was exceeding ready to forgive all injuries done against him some of which he particularly mentioned which were great and provoking yet he was willing not only to pardon them but likewise to give them assurance of his future friendship and hoping that he should be as freely forgiven at the hand of God He was very tender and concerned for his servants who were about him in his extremities to whom he was very kind by his last Will pitying there troubles in watching with him and attending him treating them with candor and gentleness as if they had been his Equals He heartily endeavoured to be serviceble to those about him exhorting them to the fear and love of Goâ— and to make good use of his for bearance and long suffering to sinners which should lead thom to repentance And particularly a Person of Quality coming to visit him on his death bed he addressed him with this most pious and most passionate exclumation O Remember that you contemn God no more He is an avenging God and will visit you for your sins and will in mercy I hope touch your conscience sooner or later as he hath done mine you and I have been friends and sinners together a great while therefore I am the more free with you we have been all mistaken in our conceits and opinions our persuasions have been false and groundless therefore God grant you repentance and seeing the same Gentleman the next day again he said to him perhaps you were disobliged by my plainess to you yesterday I spake the words of truth and soberness to you and striking his hand upon his breast he added I hope God will turn your heart And he commanded his Chaplain to preach abroad and to let all men know if they knew it not already how severely God had disciplin'd him for his sins by his afflicting hand that his sufferings were most just tho he had laid ten thousand times more upon him How he had laid one stripe upon another because of his grevious provocations till he had brought him home to himself That his former visitations had not that blessed effect which he was now sensible of He had formerly some loose thoughts and slight resolutions of reforming and designed-to be better because even the present consequen ces of sin were still pestering him and were so troublesome and inconvenient to him but that he hadnow other sentiments of things and acted upon other principles He gave it another learned Divine in charge not to spare him if he should dye in publishing any thing which might be of use to the Living being willing that the worst as well as the best part of his life should be exposed so sincere was he in his repentance as to be willing to take shame to himself by suffering his faults to be exposed for the benefit of others Praying God that as his life had done much hurt so his death might do some good Lastly He discovered a great willingness to dye if it pleased God resigning himself always to the Divine disposal but if God should spare him yet a longer time here he hoped to bring glory to the Name of God in the whole course of his life and particularly by his endeavours to convince others and to assure them of the danger of their condition if they continued impenitent and how graciously God had dealt with him being desirous to live upon no other account but that by the change of his manners and his former company and course of life he might in some measure take off the high scandal that his former behaviour had given He had a great sense of his Obligations to those worthy Divines who charitably and frequently visited him and prayed with him and were thereby all very serviceable to his Repentance I shall conclude these Remarks with his Dying Remonstrance signed by his own hand as his truest sense which is as follows For the benefit of all those whom I have drawn into sin by my Example and Encouragement I leave to the World this my last Declaration which I deliver in the presence of the Great God who knows the secrets of all hearts and before whom I am now appearing to be judged That from the bottom of my Soul I detest and abhor the whole course of my former wicked life that I think I can never sufficiently admire the goodness of God who has given me a true sense of my pernicious Opinions and vile Practices by which I have hitherto lived without hope and without God in the World have been an open Enemy to Jesus Christ doing the utmost despite to the Holy Spirit of Grace And that the greatest Testimony of my Charity to such is to warn them in the name of God and as they regard the welfare of their immortal souls no more to deny his Being or his providence or despise his goodness no more to make a mock of sin or contemn the pure and excellent Religion of my ever blessed Redeemer through whose merits alone I one of the greatest of sinners do yet hope for mercy and forgiveness Amen J. Rochester Declared and signed June 19. 1680. in the presence of Ann Rochester Robert Parsons He enjoyed a steddy temper of mind through the whole course of his sickness and repentance which must needs proceed not from a
hurry or perturbation of mind or body arising from the fear of death or dread of Hell only but from an ingenious love to God and an uniform regard to virtue suitable to that solemn Declaration of his I would not commit the least sin to gain a kingdom And he had all possible symptoms of a lasting perseverance in this admirable Christian Resolution if God had restored him to health To which may be added his comfortable persuasions of God's accepting him to his mercy saying three or four days before his death I shall dye but Oh what unspeakable Glories do I see what joys beyond thought or expression am I sensible of I am assured of God's mercy to me through Jesus Christ Oh how I long to dye and to be with my Saviour The time of his sickness and repentance was just nine weeks in all which space he was so much master of his reason and had so clear an understanding except about thirty hours in which he was delirious that he never dictated or spoke more composed in his life And therefore if any shall continue to say his Piety was the effect of madness or vapours the assertion is as silly as it is wicked And that the force of this great penitence may not be evaded by evil men who are resolved to harden their hearts against all convictions by saying it was done in a corner the truth hereof is very well known to all sorts of persons who in considerable numbers visited and attended him and particularly by those eminent Phisitians who were conversant with him in the whole course of his tedious sickness and who if any were competent judges whether he were 〈◊〉 a phrensie or distracted who all declared that he had not the least Symptoms of it but was as seasâ—…ble as at any time in his life and health And if any shall be still unsatisfied herein in this hard hearted generation it matters not let them at their cost be Unbelievers still so long as this excellent penitent en joys the comfort of his repentance fince from all these admirable signs we have great reason to believe comfortably that his repentance was real and his end happy and we may accordingly imitaâ—… he neighbours and Cosens of Elizabeth Luke 1.52 〈…〉 when they heard how the Lord had sheweâ—… great mercy upon her came and rejoyced with hen 〈…〉 in we shall joyn with the whole Court of Heavâ—…y since our Blessed Saviour has told us Luke 15.7 〈◊〉 say unto you that joy shalt he in heaven 〈…〉 that repenteth more then over ninety and 〈…〉 that need no repentance He dyed without 〈…〉 or groan at Woodstock Park in Oxfordshire July 26. 1680. Postscript AN account of the duty and usefulness of communicating Experiences is already given I shall only add that if any should take offence at the publishing of these Experiences and judge it unmeet especially because ill men may make a bad use of them I desire such to consider that wicked Persons will take all opportunities to scandalize Religion though no occasion be given and they will likewise abuse the best of things to evil purposes Yet the Prophet David says Come and hear all ye that fear the Lord and I will declare what he hath done for my Soul Restore unto me the joy of my salvaton then will I teach transgressors thy ways amd sinners shall be converted unto thee Ps 51. So that this declaring of Experiences is one means which we may expect the Lord will make successful to the Conversion of sinners And indeed the Book of Psalms is presented to the eyes of all men both good and bad and doth consist for the most part of Experiences And Paul declareth the manner of his conversion to those that persecuted him and the Apostle Peter bids us be ready alwayes to give an answer to every man that asketh a reason of the hope that is in us with meekness and fear There are several other uses and advantages from declaring Experiences which are mentioned in the beginning to which the Reader is referred I shall conclude all with repeating my earnest desires that this small tract may be of some profit to the souls of men and then my design in publishing it will be answered W. D. A Catalogue of Books Printed for Nath. Crouch at the Bell in the Poultrey near Cheapside History 1. ENgland's Monarchs Or A Relation of the most remarkable Traosactions from Julius Caesar adorned with Poems and the Picture of every Monarch from K. Will the Conqueror to this time With a List of the Nobility and the number of the Lords and Commons in both Houses of Parliament and other usesul particulars Price one shilling 2. THe History of the House of Orange Or a Relation of the Magnanimons Archievements of his Majesties Renowned Predecessors like wise of his own Heroick Actions till the Late Wonderful Revolution Together with the History of K. William and Q. Mary Being an Account of the most remarkable passages to this time Price one shilling 3. THe History of the two late Kings Charles II. and James II. and of the most observable passages during their Reigns and the secret French and Popish Intrigues in those Times Pr. 1s 4. THe History of Oliver Cromwel being an Impartial Account of all the Battels Seiges Military Archievements wherein he was ingaged in England Scotland and Ireland and likewise of his Civil Administrations till his Death Relating matters of Fact without Reflection or Observation pr. 1s 5. THe Wars in England Scotland and Ireland containing an Account of all the Battels Sieges and other remarkable Transactions from the beginning of the Reign of K. Charles the Firil 1625. to 1660. The Tryal of K. Charles I at large and his last Speech with Pictures of several Accidents Pr. 1. shilling 6. HIstorical Remarks and Observations of the Antient and present state of London Westminster shewing the Foundations Walls Gates Bridges Churches Rivers Wards Halls Hospitals Schools Inns of Courts Charters and privileges thereof with the most remarkable Accidents as to Wars Fires Plagues c. for above 900 years past Pr. 1s 7. ADmirable Curiosities Rarities and Wonders in England Scotland and Ireland or an account of many remarkable persons and places and of the Battels Sieges Earthquakes Tempests Thunders Fires Murders other Occurences for many hundred years past with the Natural and Artificial Rarities in every County and several Sculptures Pr. 1s 8. THE History of the Kingdom of Scotland Containing an Account of all the Wars Battels other remarkable Transactions Revolutions and State Intrigues in that Nation during the Reigns of 72. Kings and Queens to the 7th year of King William III. Intermixt with variety of strange Accidents Prodigious Appearances and other considerable Events And a List of the present Nobility of that Kingdom Illustrated with Pictures Pr. 1s 9. THE History of the Kingdom of Ireland being an Account of all the Batles Seiges other memorable Passages during the