The thoughts of the godly are godly of the wicked worldly and by these good and evil men are best and truliest differenced one from another Would we know our own hearts and whether they be changed by a new birth Examine we our thoughts words actions passions especially our thoughts will inform us for these cannot be subject to hypocrisie as words and deeds are Sect. XXXIX Then by way of caution know that a child may as soon create it self aâ— a man in the state of Nature regenerate himself We cannot act in the least unlesse God bestows upon us daily privative grace to defend us from evil and daily positive grace inabling us to do good And those that are of Christ teaching know both from the word and by experience that of theÌ„mselveâ— they are not only weak but even dead to what is good moving no morâ— than they are moved that their best works are faulty all their sins deadly all their natures corrupted originally You hath he quickned that were dead in trespasses and sins Ephes 2.1 Yea we are altogether so dead in sin that we cannot stir the least joynt no not so much as feel our own deadness nor desire life except God be pleased to raise and restore our souls from the death of sin and grave of long custom to the life of grace Apt we arâ— to all evil but reprobate and indisposed to all grace and goodness yea to all the meanes thereof My powers are all corrupt corrupt my will Marble to good but wax to what is ill Insomuch that we are not sufficient of our selves to think much lesse 〈◊〉 speak least of all to do that which is good 2 Cor. 3.5 Joh. 15.4 5. Iâ— we have power to choose or refuse the object to do these well we have 〈◊〉 power We have ability we have will enough to undo our selves scopâ—â— enough hell-ward but neither motion nor will to do good that must bâ— put into us by him that gives both power and will and power to will Finally Each sanctified heart feels this but no words are able sufficiently to expresse what impotent wretches we are when we are not sustained So that we have no merit but the mercy of God to save us nothing but the blood of Christ and his mediation to cleanse and redeem us nothing but his obedience to inrich us As for our good works we are altogether be holding to God for them not God to us nor we to our selves because they are only his works in us Whatsoever thou art thou owest to him that made thee whatever thoâ— hast thou owest to him that Redeemed thee Therefore if we do any thing amisse let us accuse our selves if any thing well let us give all the praise 〈◊〉 God And indeed this is the test of a true or false Religion that which teacheth us to exalt God most and most to depresse our selves is the true that which doth most prank up our selves and detract from God is thâ— false As Bonaventure well notes Sect. XL. Now to wind up with a word of exhortation if thou beest convinceâ— and resolvest upon a new course let thy resolution be peremptory anâ— constant and take heed you harden not again as Pharaoh the Philistinâ— the young man in the Gospel Pilate and Judas did resemble not the irâ—â— which is no longer soft than it is in the fire for that good saith Gregory will do us no good which is not made good by perseverance If wiâ—â— these premonitions the Spirit hath vouchsafed to stir up in thine heart anâ— good motions and holy purposes to obey God in letting thy sins go quench not grieve not the Spirit 1 Thes 5.19 Return not with the Dog to thy vomit lest thy latter end prove seven-fold worse than thy beginning Matth. 12.43 45. O it is a fearfull thing to receive the grace of God in vain and a desperate thing being warned of a rock willfully to cast our selves upon it Neither let Satan perswade you to defer your repentance no not an hour lest your resolution proves as a false conception which never comes to bearing Besides death may be suddain even the least of a thousand things can kill you and give you no leasure to be sick Thirdly If thou wilt be safe from evil works avoid the occasions have no fellowship with the workers of iniquity neither fear their scoffs for this be sure of if your person and waies please God the world will be displeased with both If God be your friend men will be your enemies if they exercise their malice it is where he shews mercy But take heed of losing Gods favour to keep theirs Beda tels of a great man that was admonished by his friends in his sicknesse to repent who answered He would not yet for that if he should recover his friends and companions would laugh at him but growing sicker and sicker they again prest him but then his answer was that it was now too late for I am judged and condemned already A man cannot be a Nathaniel in whose heart there it no guile but the world counts him a fool But Christ saies Verily except ye be converted and become at little children ye shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven Mat. 18.3 Again Satan and your deceitfull heart will suggest unto you that a Religious life is a dumpish and melancholy life but holy David will tell you that light it sown to the righteous and joy to the upright Psal 97.11 Isa 65.14 And experience tells that earthly and bodily joys are but the body or rather the dregs of that joy which Gods people feel and are ravished with As O the calm and quietnesse of a good conscience the assurance of the pardon of sin and joy of the Holy Ghost the honesty of a virtuous and holy life how sweet they are Yea even Plato an Heathen could say That if wisdom and virtue could but represent it self to the eyes it would set the heart on fire with the love of it And the like of a sinners sadnesse as hear what Seneca saies if there were no God to punish him no Devil to torment him no Hell to burn him no man to see him yet would he not sin for the uglinesse and filthinesss of sin and the guilt and sadnesse of his conscience But experience is the best informer wherefore take the counsell of holy David Psalm 34.8 O tast and see that the Lord is good blessed is the man that trusteth in him To which accordeth that of holy Bernard Good art thou O Lord to the soul that seeks thee what art thou then to the soul that finds thee As I may appeal to â—ny mans conscience that hath been softned with the unction of grace â—nd truly tasted of the powers of the world to come to him that hath the â—ove of God shed abroad in his heart by the Holy Ghost whether his whole â—ife be not a perpetual halellujah in comparison of his natural condition Whence
him yea most spitefully and maliciously fought on Satans and sins side against him and persecuted his children and the truth with all my might and all this against knowledge and conscience after some measure of illumination which cannot be affirmed of the Jews Yet miserable wretch that I was if I could have given him my body and soul they should have been saved by it but he were never the better for them Sect. XXXIII Lastly To tell you that which is more strange Notwithstanding all this that hath been mentioned and much more Yet I thought my self a good Christian forsooth yea with that young man in the Gospel I thought I had kept all the Commandements Nor was I a whit troubled for sin either original or actual but my conscience was at quiet and I was at peace neither did any sin trouble me Yea I would applaud my self with that Pharisee Luke 18.9 to 15. and say I was not like other men not once doubting of my salvation I ever refused to do what my Maker commanded and yet confidently hoped to escape what he threatned Nor did I doubt of having Christ my Redeemer and Advocate in the next life when I had been a bitter enemy to him and his members in this life Here was blindnesse with a witnesse as it is not to be believed how blind and blackish men are that have only the flesh for their guide especially if they have hardned their hearts and seared their consciences with a customary sinning As I could give you for instance a large catalogue of rare examples how sin hath besotted men and what starkfools carnal men are in spirital things be they never so wise for mundane knowledg But least it should be taken for a digression or excursion you shall have a list of them by themselves the which I will add as an Appendix to this Discourse or Dialogue In the mean time I have given you a brief of my manifold provocations and great ingratitude to my Maker and Redeemer for otherwise I might be endlesse in the prosecution thereof It remains that I should in like manner lay open my original defilement which is the fountain whence all the former whether sins of commission or sins of omission do flow But touching it be pleased to peruse that small Tract intituled A short and sure way to Grace and Salvation Or Three Fundamental Principles of Christian Religion by R. Y. from page 4. to page 10. Sect. XXXIV Loose Libertine If this hath been your case no wonder it hath startled you for to deal plainly with you as you have done with me what I have heard from you makes me also tremble For if such honest moral men that live so unreprovably as you had done go not to heaven what will become of me that have been openly Prophane and notoriously wicked all my time Yea it contented me not to do wickedly my self and so damne my own soul but I have been the occasion of drawing hundreds to Hell with me by seducing some and giving ill example to others the infection of sin being much worse than the act As how many have I drawn to be Drunkards and swearers and whoremongers and prophane persons insomuch that the blood of so many souls as I have drawn away will be required at my hands Yea my life hath been so debauched and licentious that I have brought a scandal upon the Gospel and made it odious to the very Turks and Infidels Rom. 2.24 Convert Alass what I did that was morally good or what evil I refrained was more for self-ends or more for fear of mens Laws than for love of Christs Gospel True I went under the notion of an honest man and a good Christian I was baptized into the faith and made a member of Christs vivisible Church but I was so far from indeavouring to perform what I then promised that in effect I even renounced both Christ and my Baptism in persecuting him and all that sincerely professed his Name thinking I did God good service therein Joh. 16.2 Gal. 1.13 14. Phil. 3.6 Nor was it for want of ignorance that you thought so of me for by nature be we never so milde and gentle we are all the seed of the Serpent Gen. 3.15 and children of the Devil Joh. 8.44 Yea the very best moral man is but a tame Devil as Athanasius well notes But it is a true proverb the blind eat many a flie and all colours are alike to him that is in the dark Loose Libertine So much the worse is my condition for my conscience tells me there is not a word you have spoken of your self but I can justly apply the same unto my own soul and a great deal more For whereas you have been a moral honest man so that none except your self could tax you for breaking either Gods Law or mans I have been so wicked and prophane that I could most presumptuosly and of set purpose take a pride in my wickednesse commit it with greedinesse speak for it defend it joy in it boast of it tempt and inforce to it yea mock them that disliked it As if I would send challenges into Heaven and make love to destruction and yet did applaud my self and prefer my own condition before other mens saying I was no dissembler yea I hated the hypocrisie of Professors I do not justifie my self and despise others like the Puritanes I am not factious schismatical singular censorious c. I am not rebellious nor contentious like the Brownists and Anabaptists I am a good fellow and love an honest man with my heart c. and as touching a good conscience I was never troubled in mind as many scrupulous fools are I have a good heart and mean as well as the precisest Bur now I see the Devil and my own deceitfull heart deluded me so that my whole life hither to hath been but a dream and that like a blind man I was running head long to Hell when yet I thought my self in the way to Heaven Just as if a beggar should dream that he were a King or as if a traitor should dream of his being crowned when indeed he was to be beheaded the case of Laodicea Rev. 3.17 the young man in the Gospel Luk. 18.20 21. and that Pharisee spoken of Luk. 18.11 12. Sect. XXXV Convert It was not your case alone but so it fares with the worst of sinners Only it much rejoyces me that it hath pleased God to open your eyes to see all this in your self For flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto you Yea we are naturally so blind and deaf and dead in sin and in soul that we can no more discern our spiritual filthinesse nor feel sin to be a burden than a blind Aethiopian can see his own blacknesse or than a dead-man can feel the weight of a burthen when it is laid upon him Act. 28.27 Isa 6.9 10 And this common experience shews for if you observe it who more
jocond confident and secure than the worst of sinners they can strut it under an unsupportable Mass of oaths blasphemies thefts murthers adulteries drunkenness and other the like sins yea can easily swallow these spiders with Mithridates and digest them too when one that is regenerate shrinkes under the burden of wandring thoughts and want of proficiency But why is it they are dead in sin Ephes 2.1 Revel 3.1 Now lay a mountain upon a dead-man he feels not once the weight To a Christian that hath the life of grace the least sin lyes heavy upon the conscience but to him that is dead let his sins be as heavy as a mountain of lead he seels in them no weight at all Again They are insensible of their sin and danger because ignorant for what the eye seeth not the heart rueth not Security makes worldlings merry and therefore are they secure because they are ignorant A dunce we know seldome makes doubts yea a fool saies Solomon boasteth and is confident Prov. 14.16 neither do blind men ever blush And the truth is were it not for pride and ignorance a world of men would be ashamed to have their faces seen abroad For take away from mens minds vain opinions flattering hopes false valuations imaginations and the like you will leave the minds of most men and women but poor shrunken things full of melancholy indisposition and unpleasing to themselves Ignorance is a veil or curtain to hide away their sins whereupon they are never troubled in conscience nor macerated with cares about eternity but think that all will be well The Devil and the flesh prophesie prosperity to sin yea life and salvation as the Pope promised the powder-traitors but death and damnation which Gods Spirit threatens will prove the crop they will reap For God it true the Devil and all flesh are lyers When we become regenerate and forsake sin then the Devil strongly and strangely assaults us as he did Christ when he was newly baptized and Pharaoh the children of Israel when they would forsake Aegypt and Herod the children when Christ was come to deliver his people Whence commonly it comes to passe that those think best of themselves that â—ave least cause yea the true Christian is as fearfull to entertain a good opinion of himself as the false is unwilling to be driven from it They that have store of grace mourn for the want of it and they that indeed Want it chant their abundance None so apt to doubt their adoption as they that may be assured of it nor none more usually fear then they that have the greatest cause to hope We feel corruption not by corruption but by grace and therefore the more we feel our inward corruptions the more grace we have Contraries the nearer they are to one another the sharper is the conflict betwixt them now of all enemies the spirit and flesh are nearest one to another being both in the soul of a regenerate man and in all faculties of the soul and in every action that springeth from those faculties The more grace the more spiritual life and the more spiritual life the more antipathy to the contrary whence none are so sensible of corruption as those that have the most living souls Sect. XXXVI Now for remedy of the contrary there cannot be a better lesson for carnal men to learn than this All the Promises of God are conditional to take place if we repent as all the threatenings of God are conditional to take place if we repent not But wicked men as they believe without repenting their faith being meer presumption so they repent without believing their repentance being indeed desperation and this observe we are cast down in the disappointing of our hopes in the same measure as we were too much lifted up in expectation of good from them Whence these perremptory presumers if ever they repent it is commonly as Francis Spira an Advocate of Padua did and never did any man plead so well for himself as he did against himself One star is much bigger than the Earth yet seems many degrees lesse It is the nature of fear to make dangers greater helps lesse then they are Christ hath promised peace and rest unto their souls that labour and are â—eavy laden and to those that walk according to rule Matth. 11.29 Gal. â— 16 even place celestial in the state of grace and peace eternal in the â—â—ate of glory Such therefore as never were distressed in conscience or live loosly never had true peace Peace is the Daughter of Righteousness Rom. 5.1 Being justified by faith we have peace with God But he who makes a bridge of his own shadow will be sure to fall into the water Those Blocks that never in their life were moved with Gods threatnings never in any straight of conscience never groaned under the burden of Gods anger they have not so much as entered into the porch of this house or lift a foot over the threshold of this School of repentance Oh! that we could but so much fear the eternal paines as we do the temporary and be but so carefull to save our souls from torment as our bodies In the mean time the case of these men is so much the worse by how much there fear is the lesse It faring with the soul as with the body Those diseases which do take away all sense of pain are of all others most desperate As the dead Palsey the falling-sicknesse the sleepy lethargy c. And the Patient is most dangerously sick when he hath no feeling thereof In like manner whilst they suppose themselves to be free from judgment they are already smitten with the heaviest of Gods judgments a heart that cannot repent Rom. 2.5 In a lethargy it is needfull the Patient should be cast into a burning Fever because the senses are benummed and this will waken them and dry up the besotting humours So in our dead security before our conversion God is fain to let the Law Sin Conscience and Satan loose upon us and to kindle the very fire of Hell in our souls that so we might be roused out of our security but thousands of these blocks both live and depart with as great hopes as men go to a lottery even dreaming of Heaven untill they awake in Hell For they too often die without any remorse of conscience like blocks or as an Ox dyes in a ditch Yea thousands that live like Laban dye like Nabal which is but the same word inverted whilst others the dear Children of God dye in distresse of conscience For it is not every good mans hap to dye like Antoninus Pius whose death was after the fashion and semblance of a kindly and pleasant sleep However Saint Austin's rule will be sure to hold He cannot dye ill that hath lived well and for the most part He that lives conscionably dyes comfortably and departeth rich And so you see how it fares with the wickedest and worst of men Wherefore