him 2. Hee hath peace of Conscience The Earth no outward weight can moove yet the stirring of a few unruly vapours within will make some parts to quake There are some men no outward Crosses can trouble but the guilt of some secret sinnes within hath made them tremble The soule of a wicked man is often like a troubled Sea or like the Ship in a storme the Disciples were tossed in but as soone as CHRIST entred there was a calme So as soone as the Conscience is possest of CHRIST there is peace Some when they are disquieted in their minds do as David wished hee could doe Psalm 55.7 When fearefulnesse and horrour overwhelmed him Oh that J had wings like a Dove then would J flie away and be at rest Goe travell as if they would out-ride the cry of Conscience which they carry with them Some send for Musicke as Saul for a Harper when his evill spirit came upon him Others deale with their Consciences that thus arrest them in GODS Name as some have done with the Serjeant make him Drunke and so escape him These wayes and the like had this our Brother tryed formerly but found no sound peace till he thus turned to CHRIST the Prince of it The Marriners in that mighty tempest rowed hard to get the Ship to land but no meanes would do till Jonas was cast out and then presently the Sea ceased from her raging I have beene a witnesse of strong tempests raysed within his Conscience when he first grew sensible but after he had disburdn'd it and out with those pressing sinnes in such salt and overflowing teares in Confession and Repentance he soone found the fruit of that call of our Saviour Come unto mee you that are weary and heavy laden and J will give you rest Having like Noahs Dove strayed from the Arke of CHRIST he found no rest for the feete of his Soule till he returned to CHRIST againe 'T is a usuall division of those foure sorts of Consciences a quiet but not 〈◊〉 good neyther good nor quiet 〈◊〉 good but not a quiet both good and quiet The two former he had experience of in his life the two latter neere his death the misery of the one and the happinesse of the other which he had so lately exchanged how sensibly have I heard him expresse apprehending in the deepest degree of his humiliation more true content than in the height of all his sinnefull pleasures Chrysostome cals the Conscience Gods Coine wherein as the Kings Image is in his so is Gods instamped in this And therefore as we give that which is Cesars to Cesar so he exhorts to give this which is Gods to GOD and a good Conscience before GOD and man 't is the richest pearle the most invaluable treasure under Heaven Saint Pauls glory and joy 1 Corinth 1.12 Acts 23.1 3. Thirdly he hath peace with Death a Bee without her sting is more feared then hurtfull 'T is so with this once freed from the guilt of sinne the sting of it He that knowes he owes nothing flies not the approach of the Bayliffe He that is assured of the blotting out of the hand-writing that was against him needs not to shunne the arrest of death Be it sudden yet 't is not untimely to him What a measure of this Christian valour was found in this our Brother after this spirituall sealing hath been manifested before many witnesses and needs not any repetition here Only observe what this blessed change in him had wrought in others of him He once wept much by himself in private when the tongues of men with good cause were open against him in publike Now teares of all sorts are shed for him publikely when he had Comforts within himself secretly He that was hated at his Condemnation is lov'd at his Execution Such as were grieved at his life are comforted at his Death He began with his owne teares he departs with the sobs of others And I doubt not but what he sowed in teares he reapes in joy what was seal'd here on Earth is ratified in Heaven From a Death temporall he is passed to a life eternall Unto which God of his mercy bring us all for the merits of his deare Sonne To whom with the Father and the holy Spirit be all honour and glory new and evermore Amen FINIS Errata in the Relation Pag. 4. marg l 16. r de via p. 7. l. 19. r. their prisoners l. 10. r. hâ—s Throne p. 11. l 8 m. r. lenic p. 23 l. 8 m. r. admisceat p. 29. l. 28. m Nam r. Now. a Epist 31. b Eras in Ep. ad Arc. Toled an op August PossidoÌ„ de vit August In ipsâ mensâ potius disputationem quam opulationâ—m dâ—ligâ—bat c Ibid. Quasi Deus voluerit in Augustino tanquaÌ„ in una tabulâ vividum quoddam exemplar Episcopi represeatare omnibus virtutum numeru abselutum c. d Fred. Spanhemius Professor of Divinity in Geneva dubiorum Evangelicorum parte tertia in his Epistle Dedicatory largely P. Bertius in tabul Geograph Speaking of Dublin and the Colledge addes this only Fameuse pour la presence de Iacobus Vsserius Theologien honime de gran le crudition piete sur tout celebre par ses escrits natif de Dublin Ioan Selden marmor Arundell in editionis causa Reverend ss Antistes Jacobus Usserius Archiep Armachanus vir summâ pietaâ—e judicio singulari usque ad miraculum doctus literis severioribus promovendis natus c Iâ— Casaubonus Abrah Scultetus Cambden with divers others By which it is evident that if some so advanced have miscarried the fault hath not bin as the vulgar apprehends in the soyle but in the seed Et hisce commemorandis nos vel utilitati publicae grat ulamur vel divinae benignitati gratamur Vt est enim modestiae non agnoscere laudes ita gratitudinis non tacere viros per quos Deus tanta commoda largitur humano generi e 1 Cor. 9 16. f 2 Cor. 4.8 g Egregia virtutis exempla veluti lumen in edito ponenda sunt ut omnibus praeluceaÌ„t multosq ad aemulationem accendant h Mat 5.15 16. i Rom. 11.14 k Lu. 10.37 a 1 Cor. 11.32 33. S. August brings in God thus saying from Heaven to a penitent sinner Parcamus huic homini quia ipse sibi non pepercit agnescamus quia ipse agnoscit conversus est ad puniendum se convertar ego ad liberandum in Psal 84. b 2 Chro. â—2 20 c Peccavi peccatum grande turbata est conscientia sed non perturbabitur quoniam vulnera Domini recordabor non despero quoniam ubi abundaveruÌ„t delicta superabundavit gratia Aug. d Jonah 3 6. Exod. 33-4 Poenitentes serico purpura In duti Christum induere sincerè non possunt Cypr. Qui Deo appropinquas non vestiuÌ„ quaere ornamenta sed morum
as nothing which being so great and the issue so miserable even the losse of his Soule he judged should have exceeded them much both in measure and continuance When in these and divers others he was satisfied then fears of another nature rose viz. That if he were truly getting out of the Divels snare it could not be but he should be pursued with further horrours and terrours tending to despair which he had not felt In this he was thus satisfied that expectation of temptations was a preparation for them and such the Divell did not usually set upon And that if ever he did appeare it would be in some wiles and at such times as he should least suspect he had a hand in them which I verily believe did so fall out in some distractions afterwards The many Objections which he not only found but studied against himself as it was a taske to clear so a Schoole to learn much experience in so cautelous was he of any Rocks which in this mist might split him so suspitious of any Sands that might swallow him so accurate in searching out any secret Leake within himself that might sinke him so fearfull and full of doubts was he till he found himself Anchored upon safe and firm ground A blessed feare a happy trembling The Story of Manasses he read often who beginning to repent in Fetters as he had now in prison was a comfort to him That of S. Paul to the Corinthians the 1. Epist 6. Chap. vers 9 10 11. And such were some of you but yee are washed but yee are sanctified But yee are justified c. was the like On Thursday the next Morning he desired to receive the Communion when I provided my self with such matter as I conceived fit for him by way of preparation and so with some others appointed to Communicate with him he received it with penitentiall expressions and after that was somewhat comforted He desired me to stay Dinner with him as the last set meale he intended in this World The magnanimity of the Man I did much admire his cheerfulnesse in counting how many hours he had to live his solid Counsell to his wife who upon his discourse of death and thankfulnesse to God for this punishment fell into a passion his comforting of Her that he was upon an advancement and why should she be against it that his sins were not the greater for the shame he was to suffer that the only thing to be feared in death is the guilt of sin The sting of it which he hoped was now taken out that he trusted God who had forgiven the sin would also in time abate the scandall and provide for Her also if she could by Faith rely upon him That afternoon the storm in his Conscience being somewhat allayed we had many calme and comfortable discourses of the priviledges of Christians admitted to be not only servants friends but sonnes of God Heirs and Co-heirs with Christ called his Love his Spouse said to be married to him to have a fellowship with him c. which he desired to have largely declared unto him Then was his Coffin brought into his Chamber though he was displeased he had it not long before it came seasonably he now looked on it with little consternation of mind as on his bed he must sleep in And yet even then another thing troubled him which he feared was a stupidity viz. that hee should be no more afraid of death having also slept quietly the night before in which after he was satisfied yet it fell so out that the next night he was disquieted which he took as a punishment for his former desire of troubles and fears and so gave it over One passage he took speciall notice of that the same friend of his who not many daies before had bin very harsh with him fearing the party to whom he had given up himselfe was too milde and would not deale roughly enough with him c. now visiting him again and finding that change in him wished his soul in his case and applied all comforts to him which comming from the same mouth that had used him so sharply before drew many tears of joy from him and confirmed him divers Divines with others that came to visit him did the like and rejoyced much at the sight of him That night his prayers were to my admiration with which his desire was we might every time we parted conclude 'T is known what an excellent faculty he had naturally in a ready present expression of what he understood either in Ecclesiasticall or Civill affairs Now God had given him another heart he did as much excell in spirituall How desirous he was still to be put upon the Tryall for saving grace by any signes or discoveries with which we run through many would be impertinent to spend time in Naturally he was not apt for tears but now he was a man of tears before given to pride and vain-glory now so humble so thankfull for the Counsell of the meanest person so attentive to any advise so open in the abasing and condemning himselfe to whomsoever came at him his very countenance was altered When he heard of my Lord Deputies death who had no long sicknesse with others who died suddenly being in health at his Condemnation his Application to me was what cause he had to blesse God it was not so with him who must undoubtedly then have sunke down to hell What thankfullnesse did he confesse he owed to God and man for this weeks preparation Apprehended it as no small token of Gods love to him in giving him his portion of shame in this world as a means to shun it in the world to come which he once expressed with such a height of affection as I wondred at it believing that nothing but this or the like would have wrought upon his masterlesse disposition which under any other troubles he feared should still have lingred like Lot in Sodom ready to be fired till he was hailed out or like Cattle within a house and fire about them yet stirre not till they are drawn out It was so with the Israelites Isa 42.25 The like he judged of himself And herein he was so farre from bearing any hatred to such as had prosecuted him that he accounted them his best friends applying the case of Pheraeus Jason to himself whom his enemy running through with a sword opened an impostume which the Physitians could not cure That howsoever his enemies as Joseph said of his brethren might intend his hurt yet God had turned it to his good by this death they had saved his life and so he owed them thankes acknowledged Gods goodnesse to him in his sudden surprizall and strict imprisonment that as no Councell would come unto him so he was not permitted to goe into the Town to them by which liberty it may be some evasions
might have bin contrived for his escape which would have prooved his everlasting undoing That speech of his Perijssem si non perijssem Or that of anothers whom a shipwrack occasioned the being a Phylosopher Tum secundis veliâ— navigavi quando naufragium feci was in substance his often application to himselfe After the L. Deputies death when the rumour of some hope of a reprivall came to his ears by such who thought they did him a good office till another governour succeeded it moved him not as rather chusing a present deserved death than the prolonging of an ignominious life wherby the scandall which he was now most troubled for would but increase He did so abhorre himselfe that once a thought rising within him to have petitioned to have been beheaded for which some Presidents hee could have produced he told me he answered himself by himself with indignation that a doggs death was too good for him and so judged himself to the last which appeared by this particular that he was casting with himselfe where he might be buried so as to be out of remembrance wished his grave were in the bottome of the Sea where he had deserv'd to be cast with a milstone about his necke for that offence and scandall he had given The Church-yard he thought was too much honour for him And in conclusion least his friends being left to themselves should have procured some better place he sent for the Clarke of S. Johns and the verger of Christs-Church of which he was once Prebend to whom I was a witnesse of his charge that they should not suffer him to be buried in that Church or in any ordinary place in the Church-yard but appointed it in the furthest corner where some rubbish was used to be cast and where none could be remembred ever to have been buried before when with many tears to them he condemned himselfe as unworthy of the Communion of the dead as now of the living After this he related unto me in severall discourses divers observable passages in his former life and since he came into the Castle tending to the magnifying of Gods Justice and Mercy to him some of which he left to my Judgement if the knowledge of them might be usefull to others The dis-respect and neglect of his mother since he came to ability he acknowledged according to the fifth Commandement to be just that his daies should be shortened As his owne Father once solemnly passing such a sentence on him and fore-telling long agone this would be his end hath bin assured me also by one who had it from an ear-witnesse His often wishing would he were hanged if his or that be so c. which â—n some protestations fell out to â—e false went not in the same â—ustice unobserved His once in anger and by way of revenge scaring his mother that he would go hang himself on a common Gallows they rode by with his horses bridle This howsoever done in his youth and not meaning yet he observed Gods justice in bringing him to it in earnest Let these be warnings to the living in the like His reading of naughty books of which he named some and wished they were burned viewing of immodest pictures frequenting of Playes Drunkennesse c. were causes and inticements to these foule facts Let men by this example forbeare them About three weeks as I take it before the complaint was put in against him in Parliament the man who had before bin the corrupter of him in his youth whom he had not seen in twenty years before came casually out of England into this Kingdome and visited him the sight of whom did so affrighâ— him as if some Ghost had appeared to him he said his very heart mis-gave him and his Conscience apprehended him as some presage or messenger of a present vengeance drawing nigh him His too much zeale and forwardnesse both in introducing and pressing some Church observations and in dividing himself from the house of Convocation Anno 1634. in opposition to the Articles of Ireland then voted to be received of purpose to please some mens persons who had notwithstanding with just cause now forsaken him passed not without taking notice of a just hand in it also and from which hee gave good Counsell to others Acknowledged he had at divers times many sore gripings and checks of Conscience which somtimes held him two or three days together but he had as S. Stephen said to the Jewes resisted alwaies the holy Spirit till now In times of sicknesse or in any frights or fears of death his Conscience would be a very Hell within him so that once he had gone so farre as to resolve upon amendment had composed in Latin a large Prayer in the confession of his sins which he repeated to me and had at severall times used it he put it into that language least any of his servants over-hearing him should understand and for a fit made some Reformation but returned again Like the Dogge to his vomite and like the Hogge washed to the myre Some discourses from a Lay-man since he came into the Castle had some worke upon him for the present but he had still endeavoured to put farr from him all thoughts that might disquiet him all which he took notice of as somewhat comfortable to himselfe that God ever followes such as belong to him with all sorts of means till he brings them to Repentance when milde purges will not worke he prescribes stronger when the secret voyce of the Conscience within nor the Admonitions of the word without will move then he useth louder cryes to awaken them Poverty Disgrace nay Destruction of the body that the soule may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus There were many more evident signes of a true change in him besides what I have related His giving satisfaction to any he had wronged even in small matters His sending for some that were meane persons and asking them forgivenesse Those whom he had prosecuted too bitterly in the high Commission Court endeavouring to his uttermost to take off their fines His care for the satisfying his smallest debts His admomonishing many that came unto him not to presume by his example to differre Repentance who with much hazard and difficulty had obtained it His good and savoury counsell to my selfe I shall not forget according to that command given to S. Peter When thou art converted strengthen thy Brethren For his family his resolutions if he had lived to have reformed it that they should have beene Gods servants or none of his For himselfe his intentions to have given over all Law businesses and have wholly imployed his time in Preaching and the studies of the Scriptures which he had neglected I doubt not but would have beene stedfast but saith he now I hope God will give me the knowledge of these mysteries by some quicker
Slaveâ—y The state of Conversion resembled by giving Sight Light Liberty That the greatest Sinner once converted is capeable of forgivenesse The joyfull happy estate of him who hath an assurance of it in three things he hath Peace with God of Conscience with Death And therein of spirituall refreshings Throughout Applicatory to the Party The Text. ACT. XXVI vers 17. I send thee Vers 18. To open their eyes to turne them from darknesse to light from the power of Satan unto God that they may receive forgivenesse of sins c. THat there is an eminent Man this day falne in Israel by a scandalous and ignominious death ye al know of whom this unwonted confluence of people speaks an expectation of saying somwhat For his life to give the least commendation would be a scandall to the Speaker and yet wholly to conceale his penitency at his death would be a wrong both to him and you the hearers It was indeed his own desire there might be no good spoke of him at all but me thinks that it self if there were no more is cause sufficient to speak somwhat in that short expression being much included And commendation if ever is then most seasonable when it can neither impute flattery to the one nor cause a pride in the other Then may be thought the lesse affected when a dispraise would be the least offensive And for that we have done with in the Relation This Text fits this present occasion thus Saint Paul is here sent to preach the Gospell such was the end of this our Brothers ordination but neglected Such had bin his solemne vow of latter years but broken The persons to whom he was sent were such as lived in darknesse under the power of Satan such to have bin his life formerly to the Churches scandall is confessed The effect of Saint Pauls message is to open their eyes to turne them unto God such a blessed change to have bin lately found in him hath bin made apparant And if with these he hath obtained the efficacy of the meanes why should we barre him from attaining the like happinesse in the end also viz. forgivenesse of sinnes 'T is true he was sent and like that Son that said he would go into the vineyard but went not Instead of converting others he had corrupted them instead of opening their eyes he had shut his owne instead of gayning others out of darknesse he had lived in the works of darknesse himselfe instead of turning men from the power of Satan he had drawn more subjects to him Notwithstanding what he was ordained to have bin an instrument of in others was by Gods grace in a great measure wrought in himselfe and if conversion why should not we beleeve forgivenesse and if forgivenesse blessednesse for blessed is the man whose iniquities are forgiven and whose sins are covered c. The Ocean of Gods mercy is able to swallow Mountaines as well as Mole-hils great sinnes as lesse according to the proportion of Repentance Saint Paul a blasphemer yet obtained pardon The crucifiers of the Lord of life are bad to be converted and their sinnes should bee blotted out 'T is true hee was at first mooved to it with Feare so was Noah to the saving himselfe by the Arke Gregorie Nazianzen was at first converted to Christianity in a Storme Our Saviour in the same breath calls his Disciples Friendes and yet bidds them feare him for the feare of Hell it selfe Hee came late so did they that went into the Vineyard at the eleventh houre Manasses began in fetters The Prodigall Son staid till he was starved and forced Oh let not your eyes be evill when Gods is good Where we find his hand why should wee doubt of his Seale if he were turned from the power of Satan in repentance to God no doubt but God hath turned to him in granting forgivenesse In the Text you may observe these three parts 1. St. Pauls mission J send thee 2. His Commission in three branches 1. To open their eyes 2. To turn them from darknes to light 3. From the power of Satan unto God 3. The happy fruit of both That they may receive forgivenesse of sins The first implies our Dignity The second our Duty The third our hearers benefit By this our Brother the first at his arraignement hath hin much disgraced The second in his life more neglected And the third at his death Gods mercy in him infinitely magnified From the first he judged himselfe worthy to be degraded For the second he had strongly resolved if he had lived to have repayred And the third was in an extraordinary manner to his conscience sealed So that the three things which are now to be handled from the words are these 1. First the dignity of Ministers to be Christs Messengers I send thee 2. Secondly the chief part of their message to be Preachers the sole end of which is the converting of men to open their eyes to turn c. 3. Thirdly the latitude of Gods mercy even to the worst of men who by their preaching shall be converted though living under the power of Satan yet shall receive forgivenesse of their sins In the handling of which ye shall find some things as seasonable as profitable and throughout I would be understood to be equally applicatatory to Bishops as other inferiour Ministers 1. First the dignity of Preachers sent by Christ their mission is like St. Johns Baptisme not of men but from Heaven they may say to their hearers as Moses to the Israelites I am hath sent me unto you And t is observable their Commission is sealed by the blessed Trinity First severally by the Father Matth. 19. ult Pray the Father that he will send labourers c. By the Son Ephes 4 1â— He gave some Apostles some Pastours some Teachers c. By the Holy Ghost Act. 20.28 Over whom the Holy Ghost hath made you Over-seers Secondly ioyntly Math. 28.18 Go teach all Nations and baptize them in the name of the Father and of the Sonne and of the Holy Ghost and accordingly as Saint John begins his Revelation with a Salutation from them So Saint Paul concludes his second Epistle to the Corinthians with a Benediction Hence those honourable titles by each of which we deny not is implyed a severall duty also honos onus to imply there holinesse Men of God Their vigilancy Watchmen their courage Souldiers their painfullnesse harvest labourers the care of their flock Shepheards their wisedome Over-seers their industry Husbandmen their patience Fishermen their tendernesse of affection Nurses their love Fathers nay Mothers their faithfulnesse Stewards their necessary use in preserving and informing of men Salt of the Earth * Light of the world their dignity Rulers Embassadours their eminency Angels fellow-fervants with them
makes you free indeed Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is a libertie What little freedome of will wee have naturally to any saving good this our Brother would sufficiently testifie in himselfe Who for a long time though he wanted no apprehension of his miserie continued stupid and senselesse heavily complaining for the want of a spirit of Compunction Well he was once held with the Cords of his owne sinnes in the snare of the Divell taken captive of him at his will but Blessed be the Lord that hath not given him as a prey unto his teeth his soule is escaped as a Bird out of the snare of the Fouler the snare is broken and he is delivered And now having seene the enlargement of him Let us in Conclusion take a short view of the Latitude of Gods mercy to him which stands alwayes wide open to penitent sinners in the Third and last part of the Text The happy fruit of all in his receiving forgivenesse For the doctrine hence observeable that wheresoever there is true repentance given there is forgivenesse attained I shall not neede to enter into any further declaration so many worthy late Divines have so fully opened it that I should but light a Candle to the Sunne in it Onely let mee say thus much that if Saint Paul were the first upon whom Jesus Christ did shew forth all long suffering and mercy for a Patterne for them that should be hereafter this our Brother might be a second in whom GODS mercy hath beene infinitely magnified In his owne judgement hee censured himselfe above all former presidents whatsoever even of Manasses himselfe who hee thought had not that knowledge was not trusted with that function and incurred not that scandall And yet for this particular hee had it not onely by evident arguments made apparent to him but also by a rare measure of spirituall refreshings sealed within him A high sinner a deepe repentance And loe a large dole of comfort And let it not seeme so improbable that so great a sinner upon so humble a Contrition should have such an enlightning Our Saviour appeared first to Mary Magdalene before all others who had seven Divels cast out of her Saint Peter had fowly denyed his Master with Oathes and curses yet after his bitter weeping our Saviour appeared to him before hee did to the rest and the Angels gave a more speciall charge to tell the blessed newes of his Resurrection to him than to the others 'T is true he was but an Infant for his time 't was his owne speech hee reckoned himselfe but a weeke old now for Infants the Father sometimes smile more upon them take them oftner in their Armes then when they come to further yeares And such is found by experience to be GODS dealing with some of his at their first conversion when the Israelites were newly delivered out of Egypt God was more carefull at that instant for their peaceable travell than afterwards Exod. 13.17 More mirth was made at the very returne of the Prodigall than had beene for the other brother that had never so offended More joy for the returne of one lost sheepe than for the ninety-nine not gone astray And if wee can be perswaded hee might reape a full Crop of joy in Heaven afterwards Why may it not be beleeved he might receive some first fruits as an earnest some few houres before here Concerning these spirituall refreshings some of our practicall Divines observe these particulars That eyther they follow some deepe humiliation Esay 66.2 I will looke to him that is of a contrite spirit c. Or as a reward after a Conflict with victory Revel 2.17 To him that overcommeth will I give of the hidden Manna c. Sometimes it is accompanied with Satans malice like Saint Paul after his revelations had the messenger Satan buffeting him 2 Cor. 12.7 The effects are some extraordinary spirit of prayer Romans 8.15 26. A further abasement of the party himselfe As Job after he had seene GOD Chap. 42.5 6. an undervaluing all the things of this world in respect of it as David Psalm 4.7 A longing to have that joy in i'ts fulnesse like Saint Paul after his â—aptures wishing to be dissolved Philip. 1.23 And for the â—ime 't is observed usually to be against some heavy tryall a viâ—ticum against the approach of death or the like Now all â—hese were evidently found in him His sorrow was deepe his conflicts many the effects were to my admiration and the time very seasonable being deferred till that very Morning before his execution the cause I beleeve of his so undaunted a spirit at the sight of it Well you see how fitly repentance may be tearmed a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the roote is bitter but the fruite sweete 't is a stormy voyage but a rich returne a sharpe medicine but very soveraigne At the entrance 't is like our Saviours draught of Gall and vinegar but the conclusion is like the end of Jonathons rod dipped in a Hony-combe the end of that man is in peace and joy Poure out as many teares upon thy selfe offering to God aâ— Elijah did water the second and third time upon his sacrifice at Mount Carmel The fire oâ— GODS Spirit shall descend and licke up those drops into spirituall joyes and dry up all teares from thine eyes The Spirit of the Lord may bee well said to moove upon the face of such waters These Rivers as they have their head in Paradise their spring in Heaven so they returne to Heaven againe This holy water drawne at this spirituall marriage will Christ turne into Wine indeed give such the garments of gladnesse for the spirit of heavinesse To conclude how can it be but a joyfull estate when a Man is assured his sinnes are forgiven If wee consider it in these three things Hee hath peace with God Peace of Conscience Peace with Death The two latter are consequences of the first 1. First hee hath peace with God Rom. 5.1 They report some Fires nothing will quench them but Blood 'T is true of the wrath of GOD for sinne nothing but the blood of Christ can appease It was Rehoboams speech to the Israelites My little finger shall be heavier than my Fathers Ioines 'T is true in this sence for sinne the least degree of GODS displeasure is more than all the worlds A Man without this peace be he deckt with Jewels is but like a faire Roome richly hung but wants a Roofe who would make choice of it for his lodging Such is the man be he never so gorgeously appareld if hee lyes yet open to the revenge of Heaven whose iniquities are not covered Let it be the prayse of Italy to be the Garden of the world It is a Christians happinesse to be the Garden of God that the Tree of life is in the midst of him that God is at peace with
have shewn us thus much nor told us such things as these In this wrestling with God for repentance and such a measure of godly sorrow that might be proportionable for so great a sinner was Munday and part of Tuesday spent by him When in the afternoone upon some further discourse the sore of his soule being now ripened burst forth and his mind being a burthen to himselfe he unloaded his Conscience to me in some particulars but with such a flood of teares casting himselfe downe to the ground taking me by the hand and desiring me to kneele downe by him and pray for him that I have never seene the like whereas before hee could swallow grosse acts without trouble now only the thoughts of his heart put him to a most grievous Agony that astonished me wrung many tears from my selfe A good foundation to begin at the heart evill thoughts and affections howsoever common yet ought to be of no small reckoning with us the first sinne of the Divell being a spirit could be no other And here 't is observable that as they say a Pine Apple or a Flint are sooner broken upon a soft bed then on a hard floore so the representing unto him the most compassionate mercifull Nature of God willing yet to be friends with him so apt to forgive and forget all injuries I say the opening unto him the infinite sweet disposition of him whom he had offended raysed up in him this holy indignation against himselfe and was a means to melt him into an entrance of this happy condition Many that never could be moved with threatnings have been overcome with kindnesse It is the Argument of the Apostle Rom. 12.1 as elsewhere And after this by some interruption of other Company I was compeld to leave him till late at night when I found him getting further ground of himselfe and that time was the first I heard him pray the maine subject being a sorrowfull large confession of his vileneffe with deepe aggravations prevalent arguments for mercy â—â—â—â—earty thankfulnesse for any beginnings of breakings in him and sending a Brother willing to beare the burthen with him which with divers others were so aptly and fully exprest and in that latitude that as it was beyond my imagination so it wrought much upon my affection and this was the first time he said he ever felt indeed what belong'd to prayer He had said one over often as others usually do but he found a great difference between that and the spirit of prayer and so we parted for that night The next day he desired we might keep together in the Nature of a solemne Fast when no body came to him but my selfe from nine of the Clock till between three and foure in the afternoon which he set apart for the finishing what he had begun before Such a countenance of a perplexed soxle did I never see as his seemed to me that morning at our first meeting so sore had the weight of his sins pressed his feeble Conscience that night in a private Audit between God and Himselfe At our entrance he desired me again to stirr up in him a further apprehension of his wretched Condition how odious his sins had made him in his sight with whom he had now to do that the nearer he drew to God the more he might like Job abhorre himselfe to use his owne words J pray saith he deale truly freely and impartially with me Looke not upon me as one that hath had some honour in the Church from which J am worthily fallen but as upon the most abiect base person in the world He was resolved to set himself as before Gods Tribunall and to powre forth his heart fully unto me the thing he only desired was a further spirit of Compunction that his eyes might be like Jeremiahs a fountaine of teares to weepe day and night After some such instructions as he had desired he fell upon his knees with a most affectionate prayer in the acknowledging of Gods Omnipresence and Omniscience infinite Wisdome and Justice c. praying for a further sense and sorrow for those sins which he was now about to rip up without any extenuation or concealing and so set open his heart indeed in a plenary particular Confession of all his sinnes he could remember from his youth till now The heads of which he had for his memory penned but with such bitter Teares such sorrowfull sighes The whole time either upon his knees or prostrating himself upon the ground as cannot be expressed Which took so with me as I never wept more at the losse of my dearest friend And in Conclusion after he had thus unlocked to use his own words the Magazin of his sinfull soule for which his shame was as evident as his grief he intreated me if I could discern any true penitency in him and judged him to be in the state of Pardon To pronounce it to him in Christs stead that it would be some comfort to his Conscience for me to declare so much unto him But what tears fell on both sides how he prayed both before and after that God would ratifie it in Heaven and seale it inwardly to his Soul can scarce be imagined Now howsoever he found some present ease in this emptying himselfe of himself yet still he grew very jealous that he was not yet come to that depth of sorrow requisite for so great a sinner The fears and troubles of Francis Spira he wished for whose life and death he had a great desire to read but I thought it not fitting One thing that troubled him long was my weeping with him gathering from thence that if an ear-witnesse were so mooved what should the party himself be plunged into He began to find already such sweetnesse in tears for sin as he was praying like those in the Gospell Lord evermore give us this bread desired there were a Well of such living water in him that might stream down his cheeks continually wished that he might be in them wafted over into another world and till then not to be wiped from his eyes After this many conflicts and doubts assaulted him which would be too many to relate Perplexed he was at the Consideration of some passages of Humiliation in Ahab Felix Judas finding that wicked men may cry earnestly for mercy and yet have little love to God lesse to Grace A passage he read casually of Francis Spira disturbed him more viz. That he begged for grace it selfe as a bridge to get to Heaven by Sometimes he doubted if the time and cause of his return being so late and out of necessity would be accepted according to such threatnings in Prov. 1.26 27. and the like Seldome did he think of any passionate fit of mourning such as Davids for Absalom but he thought presently it checked him for his sins to be