I do think my Sins are so great that it is impossible for them to be pardoned J. Do not think or say so for all things are possible to him that believeth Mark 9.23 P. But my Sins are so red I think all the Water in the Sea cannot wash them away J. Though thy Sins be as Scarlet they shall be as white as Snow and though they be red like Crimson they shall be as Wool if thou wilt turn to me from them for my Blood can cleanse thee from all Sin Esa 1.18 1 John 1.7 P. But Lord if I should turn to thee from them yet they are written down and thou wilt not blot them out Jer. 18.23 J. I am he that bloteth out thy transgressions yea have bloted out as a thick cloud thy transgressions and as a Cloud thy Sins return therefore unto me for I have redeemed thee Esa 43.25 44.22 P. But if I should return unto thee yet when I Sin again thou wilt remember my Sins J. No I will pardon thee and thy Sins and iniquities will I remember no more Heb. 10.17 P. Oh Lord I am the child of wicked parents and thou hast said thou wilt visit the Sins of the Father upon the Children to the third and fourth generation J. If a wicked Father begets a Son that seeth all his Fathers Sins which he hath done and considereth and doth not such like that Son shall not bare the iniquity of the Father Ezek. 18.14.20 Ezek. 16.3 to the 13. P. But Lord were there any wicked parents that had good Children J. Yes many as wicked a Ahaz had good Hezekiah So b Idolutrous Amon zealous Josiah and ungodly Saul had Godly Jonathan a 2 Kin. 16.20 with 2 Kin. 18.3 b 2 Kin. 21.21 22. with 2 King 22 2. P. Lord what if I be a Bastard and the Child of whoredom J. That doth not hinder thee neither to be saved for my servant c Jeptha was a Bastard so was my servant Phares who is reckoned in my own Genealogie Compare Gen. 38.18 29. Ruth 4.12 with Mat. 1.3 c Jud. 11.1 with Heb. 11.32 P. But Lord is there not such a Scripture that a Bastard shall not enter into thy Congregation until the tenth Generation J. Yes there is such a d Scripture and that should make People shun the Sin of Whoredome but that doth not exclude men that are born Bastards after the Flesh if they be Born again of the Spirit either out of my Church on Earth now in the days of the Gospel or yet out of Heaven Deut. 23.2 P. But what Lord if my Father was a Bastard J. Neither doth that hinder for Sarah the brother of Phares who was a Bastard begot my two wise and Godly Servants Ethan and Heman compare Gen. 38.30 1 Chron. 26. with Psal 88. and Psal 89. the titles of both being of Heman and Ethan P. Oh Lord I am a very old Sinner and have one foot already in the Grave and I fear it is too late for me now to be called J. No it is not too late for I call some at the ninth hour yea some at the e eleventh hour Which is but one hour before night or a little before death And I will pour out of my Spirit upon old men in these Gospel daies Mat. 20.6.9 Joel 2.28 with Act. 2.17 P. But Lord I have committed such great and hainous Sins both by speaking and doing that I am affraid it is in vain for me to seek Mercy J. Though thou hast spoken and done evil things as much as thou couldest yet return unto me and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon thee for I am merciful Jer. 3.5 P. How shall I look upon thee Gracious Lord for I have multiplied sins against thee J. As thou hast multiplied sin so will I (f) Or will abundantly pardon multiply pardons if thou wilt return unto me the Lord Esa 55.7 P. Oh but Lord I scarce think that any so wicked as my self were saved for I was an Idolater an Adulterer a Thief a Drunkard and what not that was wicked J. Such were many of my servants that are now in heaven but I according to my own kindness and pitty to them saved them by washing sanctifying and justifying them by my own (g) Or power Name Blood and Spirit 1 Cor. 9.6 9 10 11. Tit. 3.3 4 5 6 7. P. Oh but merciful Saviour I was a Ring-leader of others into sin and I enticed and drew many into wickedness and therfore my case is far worse then others J. As thou wast a Ring-leader and Enticer of others into sin so I can make thee a guide and leader of others into and in the way of righteousness as I made thy Country-man Levi and others P. But that which makes me fear most is because I was a Blasphemer Reviler and Persecuter of thy people yea many of thy Saints did I shut up in Prison J. Yet thou shalt have mercy because thou didst it ignorantly through unbeliefe 1 Tim. 1.13 P. Oh but Lord I finde my heart is hardened through the deceitfulness and custome of sin that I cannot hope it will ever be otherwise J. I can and will take the stony heart out of thy flesh and I will give thee a heart of flesh Eze. 36.26 P. Lord wilt thou do all for me J. I must do all for thee for without me thou canst do nothing Phil. 2.13 Joh. 15.5 P Lord what then shall I do J. Before I teach thee what thou must do I will first shew thee what I have done and suffered for thee P. Good Master I desire to know that J. 1. I left my own glory and came into the world to save thee and such sinners as thou art John 17.5 1 Tim. 1.15 2. Though I was the onely Son of my Father and in his own form and equal to him yet I took upon me the form of a servant for thee and thy brethrens sake Joh. 1.14 Phil. 2.6 7 8. 3. Though I was Heire of all things and Possessor of Heaven and Earth yet I became poor and hungary that thou mightest be made rich Heb. 1.2 Gen. 14.19 and 2 Cor. 8.9 4. Though I deserved honour and glory yet I was reviled threatned and perscuted by my own Creatures and all for my good will to thee Heb. 2.9 1 Pet. 2.23 5. Though I had no sin yet I was made sin that thou poor sinner mightest escape sin 1 Pet. 1.19 and 2.22 2 Cor. 1.21 6. Though I was a Law-giver and Law-maker yet I became under the curse of my own Law that I might redeem thee from that curse Esa 33.22 Gal. 3.13 7. When I had power over mine own life and no man could take it from me yet I laid it down for thee that thou mightest have life Joh. 10.18 Rom. 5.6.9 1 Joh. 3.16 8. Though I was my fathers delight and an object of his love from everlasting yet I became an object of his wrath for my love
of the Law to do them Deut. 27.26 Ph. Yes that is whosoever breaks the Law is accursed unless he repents for it J. The Law doth not say unless men repent for breaking it they are accursed but it says absolutely they are cursed and I say whosoever keepeth the whole law and yet offendeth in one point he is guilty of all Gal. 3.10 Jam. 2.10 Mat. 5.19 Ph. I say so too that except men keep the Law of Moses they a cannot be saved and whosoever b know not and keep not the Law they are accursed Acts 15.1.24 Joh. 7.49 J. Doest thou know the Law Ph. Yes I know the Law for I am instructed daily out of the Law by our c Doctors of the Law and holy Priests c Zeph. 3.4 J. The Priests have done violence to the Law and they that d handle the Law know not the Lord d Jer. 2.8 Ph. Jehovah hath said that the Law shall not perish from the Priests for the Priests lips is to keep knowledg and we are to seek the Law at his mouth Jer. 18 18. Mal. 2.7 J God hath said also that the Law shall c perish from the Priests and that they f shall not every man teach his neighbour any more for all shall know the Lord from the least to the greatest Jer. 31.4 Ph. I perceive thou goest about to destroy the Law J. Think not so for I am not come to destroy the Law but to fulfil it Mat. 5.17 Luke 16.17 Ph. I Sir I like that that we should fulfil the Law that we should perform it J. Yes Moses gave you the Law but a none of you keepeth it but b you have been partial in the Law c Ye pay tithe of Mint Annis and Cumming and have omitted the weightier matters of the Law Judgment Mercy and Faith Joh. 7.19 Mal. 2.9 Mat. 23.23 P. It is true we may come shore in some things but he that keepeth the Law happy is he J. Thou that d restest in the Law and makest thy boast of the Law through breaking the Law thou doest dishonour God and causest many to f stumble at the Law verily I say unto thee thou g shalt be judged by the Law Rom. 2.17 ver 23. Mal. 2.8 Rom. 2.12 Ph. No I hope rather to be justified then to be judged by the Law J. Verily verily I say unto thee by the deeds of the Law there shall no flesh be justified in God sight Rom. 3 20â— Gal. 3.11 Ph. How then shall I be justified J. The righteousness of God without the Law is manifest being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets Rom. 3.21 Ph. What Righteousness is that J. Not a mans h own righteousness which is called the i righteousness of the Law but the k righteousness which is of God by faith h Phil. 3.9 i Ro. 2.26 k Ro. 4.13 Ph. What difference is there between the righteousness of the Law and the righteousness of faith J. Moses describeth the righteousness of the Law thus that the man which doth those things which the Law requireth shall live by them but the righteousness of faith saith whosoever believeth on me shall be saved Rom. 10.5.6 11. Ph. How can men be saved by believing in thee for thou art but one J. As by one l mans offence death reigned by one mucâ— mâ—â—â— they which receive abundance of grace and of the giâ—◠〈◊〉 righteousness shall reign in life by me Who am the m Son of righteousness n and made by God my Father to be righteousness unto men l Rom. 5.7 m Mal. 4.2 n 1 Cor. 1.30 Ph. Thou bearest record of thy self Joh. 8.13 J. o Though I bear record of my self yet my record is true p My Father also beareth witness of me and this is his witness that he hath given life and this life is in me his Son o Joh. 8.14 p 1 Joh. 5.11 Ph. But what say'st thou how was our Father Abraham and his seed who lived before thee justified and saved J. q Your Father Abraham rejoyced to see my day and he saw it and was glad for l I was before Abraham and he and his spiritual seed were justified and saved by faith in me r Rom. 4.3.11 13 16. Gal. 3.14.18.20 Ph. But was not Abraham justified by works J. If Abraham were justified by works be hath whereof to glory but not before God for what saith the Scripture It is true Abrahams faith was accompanied with works Abraham believed God and it was accounted to him for Righteousness Rom. 4.2.3 Ph. If I be not justified by my good works to what end should I perform them J. Though thy good works cannot justifie thee before God yet they may glorifie God and be prafitable unto men Mat. 5.16 Tit. 3.8 Ph. Well then I am glad my good works be good for something J. Yes thy good works would be good for something if thy faith like Abrahams did work with thy works but thou doest not believe and all thy good works thou doest to be seen of men Jam. 2.22 Mat. 23.5 Ph. No I do not do my good works to be seen of men but to please God J. I tell thee that without faith it is impossible to please God Heb. 11.6 Ph. But God hath said if a man do well he shall be accepted J. It is not for their well-doing that men are accepted with my Father but they are made acceptable in me and their works are accepted for my sake Eph. 1.6 1 Pet. 2.6 Ph. But am I no nearer Heaven that perform good works than this finfull and ungodly Publican J. Thou Hypocrite that justifiest thy self and judgest another I tell thee that Publicans and Harlots shall enter into the Kingdom of Heaven before such as thou art Mat. 7.5 and 21 31. Ph. Oh untrue and false doctrine to say that those cursed men who know not the Law should be saved before us who are the children of Abraham Joh. 7.49 8.33 J. Thou blind and self-conceited Pharisee understandest thou not the Scripture I will have mercy and not sacrifice for I am not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance And I say unto thee unless thou doest believe in mee thou art not the child of Abraham Mat. 9.13 Gal. 3.26 Ph. I believe in the God of Abraham the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob whose child and servant I am J. If thou didst believe in God thou wouldest also believe in me but thou art the child of the Devil and in bondage to this day Joh. 8.44 Gal. 4.25 Ph. How am I in bondage J. Thou art under the curse of the Law and under the power of sin and Sathan and canst never be made free unless I make thee free Joh. 8.34 35 36. Ph. How doest thou free men J. By my a death and sufferings I satisfie the Law by the b power of my resurrection I overcome death and by my Spirit I m cast out Sathan and n subdue sin a Gal. 3.13 b 1 Cor. 15.55.57 m Mat 12.28
thou hast and take up thy crosse daily and follow me else thou canst not be my Disciple Luke 14.26 27. Ph. This is a hard saying who can hear it and he went away sorrowful and followed him no more Joh. 6.60.66 Mat. 19.22 The third Conference between Christ and a doubting Christian Christ COme unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest Mat. 11.28 Christian Oh Lord I am a poor heavy laden sinner that would come unto thee but cannot come Ch. It is true O soul no man can come unto me except the Father which hath sent me draw him Joh. 6.44 Christian How then Lord shall I come unto thee Ch. I and my Father are one and we give power to the faint and to them that have no might we add strength Joh. 10.30 Esay 40 29. Christian Lord I am altogether without strength therefore draw me unto thee and I will come Ch. I will draw thee unto me with the cords oâ— a man with bands of love and with loving kindness Hos 11.4 Jer. 31.3 Joh. 12.32 Christian But Lord noâ— I look upon my selfe I see I am unworthy to come unto thee yea unworthy of the least of thy mercies Ch. So said my servant a John the Baptist and b Jacob and c others yet do not judge thy selse as the d Jewes did unworthy of eternal life a Mat. 3.11.6 b Gen. 32.10 c Luk. 7.7 Mat. 8.8 d Acts 13.46 Christian Iâ— such men as John Baptist and Jacob did judge themselves unworthy how many thousand times more unworthy am I a wretched and wicked sinner Ch. It is true neither they nor thou could be worthy of your selves but yet I am willing to account you worthy As the prodigals Father did his Son Luk. 15.21 22. Luk. 20.35 and 21.36 Rev. 3.4 Christi But Lord if therâ— were any thing that were good in me it might a little incourage me to come unto thee but I find nothing but evil in me Ch. Dost thou not knowâ— that without me thou canst e do nothing and that a man can f receive nothing except it be giveâ— him from heaven Why theâ— dost thou stay away from me who must g work all thy workes in thee And c Joh. 15.5 f Joh. 3.27 g Esa 26.12 2 12. 2. Because thou seest nothing but evil in thee thou shouldst thee rather come unto me who am the h Fountain wherein thy unclean soul must be washed and unless I i wash thee thou canst not be clean nor have any k part in me h Zac 13.1 i Eze. 36.25 and 1.9 k Joh. 13.8 Christian True Lord thou art the Fountain and welspring of life and it is thy blood and nothing else that can wash a way my sins but how can I come near to thee who am so wicked that for â—ught I know have counted thy blood an l unholy thing l Heb. 10.29 Ch. Thou poor dear and doubting soul what if thou hadst had a hand in crucifying me as the Jewes had yet cannot I forgive thee as I did many of them But thou hast not counted my blood an unholy thing for thou still desirest to have thy sins washed away by it Act. 2.36.41 Christian What the Jewes did they did ignorantly but I have sinned against knowledge which makes my sins worse then theirs Ch. If thou hast sinned against knowledge ye thou hast not sinned so but that thou maist be forgiven For my dear Disciple Peter sinned against knowledg when he denied with an oath that he knew me not Mat. 26.72 Christian Oh but yet my sins are worse then his for his sin was but one sin and that a suddain and short sin but I have sinned many sins and continued long in them Ch. So did my beloved servant David who was a man according to my own heart commit several sins together as Murther Whoredome c. and continued a while too in his sins Christian Oh but Lord those servants of thine though they sinned against thee yet they expressed a great deal of sence of their sins and sorrow for them but I can neither be sensible of nor sorrowful for mine Ch. Oh sweet soul thou mistakest and forgettest thy selfe for thou dost often confess thy sins before me with sence shame and sorrow And I hear the daily bemoaning and complaining and saying I have n sinned against the Lord woe is me for I am undone n Job 7 20. Psal 51.4 Lam. 5.16 Christian Oh good Lord it is not without a cause that I cry woe is me I am undone for I think there is no soul in such a dangerous and desperate condition as mine is in Ch. Why doest thou think and say so Christian Because I have sinned that unpardonable sin against thy spirit Ch. Oh thou poor and precious soul thou dost but think so and fear so But tell me how canst thou sin that sin against my Spirit and yet pray for more of my Spirit and so much prize my Spirit as thou dost Christian Oh Lord I have often grieved and quenched thy Spirit and is not this to commit that unpardonable sin Ch. My own dear and loving children may and do sometimes grieve my spirit by sining and quench the gracious motions of it and yet do not sin that unpardonable sin Eph. 4.30 1 Thes 5.19 Esay 63.10 Christian Oh but I can â—â—â—nk no less but that I have â—â—â—â—â—red that sin for I have had hard cruel and desperate thoughts in my heart against the Holy Spirit Ch. Though my child thoâ— hast had such thoughts in thy 〈◊〉 yet thou hast noâ—â—â—oken evil of my Spirit as the Jewes did which is the sin of blasphemy and that unpardonable sin Mat. 12.24 28 31. Mark 3.22 to 30. Christian Lord I am not sure but that I have spoken evil words of thy spirit for I know I have many times uttered vile bitter and cursed words Ch. Notwithstanding thou didest through the violence of thy temptations and in the bitterness of thy Soul speak such words as my servants Job David Jeremy Jonah and Peter did yet thou hast not done despightfully nor sinned maliciously and wilfully against my Spirit of grace as Reprobates doe Heb. 10.29 Job 3. to 13. and 10.18 and 23.15 16. Psa 31.22 and 116.11 Jer. 20.14 c. Jonah 4.3 4 9. Mat. 26 27 74. Christian Oh I have been and still am very wilful and have often sinned wilfully and thou sayest in thy word that if any sin wilfully after they receive the knowledge of the truth their remaineth no more sacrifice for sins Heb. 10.6 Ch. Thou dear soul have not I heard thee often in prayer complaining of and bewailing thy sins and beging earnestly for power against them therefore it is rather against thy will then wilfully that thou dost sin Christian Oh but I find sins in power in my soul which if I were a Saint they would not be so Ch. My servant Paul found sin so strong in him that he confessed he was carnal
on more then God himself but pray to him for the prosperous use of them 134. Love all things for Gods sake and God only for his own and look you make him your friend whosoever be your enemy for 〈◊〉 this you shall do if as an obedient Child you always live in the eye of your heavenly Father 135. Give no offence to any man justly whether within or without for wo to them by whom offences come 136. Carry your self unto all so as the weak may be won the strong may be comforted and the wicked be ashamed 137. Delight to do all the good you can to Gods Children and to receive all the good you can from them 138. Think it the greatest work in the world to die well which to do you must inure your self to die before hand 1. By dying to your sins 2. Learning the word of affection before it actually leave you 3. In your last learning of if do it willingly yea joyfully whensoever wheresoever or howsoever God shall call you 139. Greive for nothing so much in the world as for your own sins and in them for nothing so much as for offending so loving a God 140. Let your meat apparel and recreation be lawful needful and moderate 141. Labour alwaies to learn to die defie the world deny the Devil despise the flesh and delight your self in the Lord be penitent for your sins past and present and yet despair not be strong in Faith and yet presume not Desire with the great Apostle to be dissolved and to be with Christ with whom even in death there is life 142. Use your life and keep it with as much quietness as you can so that you offend not God that ease that cometh with his displeasure turneth at length to an unspeakable pain and the gain of the world with the loss of his favourâ— is extream beggary and wretchedness 143. The greatest honour that man can give to God is to confess his truth truly and faithfully in time of trouble and affliction 144. It is but a folly for any one that truly professeth Christ crucified to look for the love of the world 145. Infidelity is the cause of all our misery which causeth us to fear man more then God and to esteem things present more than things to come 146. Love is that flower which shall never fade but shall flourish more and more till it be made perfect in that place where Faith and Hope shall have no office but shall then fully possess that which they have so long patiently waited for in this world 147. After the Lord hath made a Christian to know what he is in himself he will doubtless shew him comfort and declare to him what he is in Jesus Christ his Son 148. The mind of man cannot be contented patiently to bear the troubles either of Soul or body until it be regenerated and possessed by Gods spirit 149. Why should we Christians fear death can death deprive us of Christ who is all our comfort our joy and our life 150. Let us tarry with Christ one hour in Tribulation and affliction and doubtless he will keep us for ever with him in joys everlasting 151. Patience and Perseverance under great tryals are the proper notes whereby Gods children are known from counterfeits they that persevere not were alwaies but Hypocrites 152. If Christ be our Captain we must follow him as good Souldiers if we keep company with him in afflictions we shall be â—â—re of his society in Glory if we forsake not him he will never forsake us if we confess him he will confess us if we be ashamed of him he will be ashamed of us Therefore as he forsook Father Heaven and all things to come to us so let us forsake all things to come to him being most sure and certain that we shall not lose thereby 153. Afflictions are in separable but not infallible notes of Salvation for none shall be saved but he must suffer afflictions but all that are afflicted shall not be saved 154. Wealth is not the way to heaven but the Contrary let all our care be how to live well and then to be sure we shall never dye poor 155. Afflictions and sufferings are sometimes the way to Glory in this world Joseph had never been a Courtier had he not first been a prisoner 156. Gods children are ever the better for being miserable It is good for me that I was afflicted let God use us how he will on Earth so that we may have what he hath promised to those that love him in Heaven who would not be a Lazarus for a day that he might sit in Abrahams bosome for ever Some Heavenly Meditations Exhortations and Consolations of that blessed Martyr Mr. John Bradford and other Martyrs written out of prison to several Friends To Mr. J.H. COnsider what this life is Consider what death is Consider what is prepared for you after death 1. Concerning this life know it is full of misery vanity and wo it is a plain banishment and hath nothing in it that hath continuance it is therefore compared to a vapour to smoak to a shaddow yea to a warfare to a vail of misery wherein we are compassed about on every side with most fierce and fearful Enemies and should we desire to dwell there should we be fond to live in this toylsome and laborious world should we wish to continue in this wretched estate should we take pleasure to remain in this dangerous condition Daniels den was not so dreadful as is this Dungeon we dwell in 2. Concerning death to Gods dear children what other thing is it then the dispatcher of all displeasure the end of Travil the door of desires the gate of gladness the port of Paradise the heaven of Heaven the entiance into rest and quietness the path-way into Felicity and the beginning of all blessedness It is a very bed of Down and therefore compared to a sleep for the bodies of Gods people to rest out of which they shall arise and awake most fresh and flourishing to everlasting life It is a passage to the Father a chariot to Heaven the Lords messenger a leader unto Christ a going to our home a deliverance from prison and bondage a dismission from war a security from all sorrow and a freedom from all misery Should we be dismay'd at it should we be afraid of it should we trouble to hear of it should such a freind as this is be unwelcome should the foulness of his face fear us from his good conditions should the hardness of his husk hinder us from his sweet kernel should the roughness of the Tyde tye us to the bank and shore should the hardness of the saddle set us on our feet to perish by the way rather then leap up and endure the same a little and so to be where we would be 3. Concerning that which is prepared for you after death if I should go about to express it the more