feare of death that there was not a house where there was not one dead for therupon the Aegyptians said we are all deaâ— men the death of others should catechise vsâ— to death Thy Sonne Christ Iesus is the first begotten of the dead he rises first the eldest brother and he is my Master in this science of death but yet for mee I am a younger brother too to this Man who died now and to euery man whom I see or heare to die before mee and all they are vshers to mee in this schoole of death I take therefore that which thy seruant Dauids wife said to him to bee said to me If thou saue not thy life to night to morrow thou shalt bee slaine If the death of this man worke not vpon mee now I shall die worse than if thou hadst not afforded me this helpe for thou hast sent him in this bell to mee as thoâ— didst send to the Angelâ— of Sardis with commission to strengthen the things that remaine and that are ready to die that in this weaknes of body I mighâ— receiue spiritual strengâ—h by these occasions This is my strength that whether thou say to mee as thine Angell said to Gedeon Peace bee vnto thee feare not thou shalt not die or whether thou say as vnto Aaron Thou shalt die there yet thou wilâ— preserue that which is ready to die my soule from the worst death that of sinne Zimrie died for his sinnes saies thy Spirit which he sinned in doing euill and in his sinne which he did to make Israel sinne For his sinnes his many sinnes and then in his sinne his particular sinne for my sinnes I shall die whensoeuer I die for death is the wages of sinne but I shall die in my sinne in that particular sinne of resisting thy spirit if I apply not thy assistances Doth it not call vs to a particular consideration That thy blessed Sonne varies his forme of Commination and aggrauates it in the variation when hee saies to the Iewes because they refused the light offered you shall die in your sinne And then when they proceeded to farther disputations and vexations and tentations hee addes you shall die in your sinnes he multiplies the former expressing â—o a plurall In this sinne â— and in all your sinnes doth not the resisting of thy particular helps at last draw vpon vs the guiltinesse of all our former sinnes May not the neglecting of this sound ministred to mee in this mans death bring mee to that miserie as that I whom the Lord of life loued so as to die for me shall die and a Creature of mine owne shall be immortall â— that I shall die and the worme of mine owne conscience shall neuer die 18. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God I haue a new occasion of thanks and a new occasion of prayer to thee from the ringing of this bell Thou toldst me in the other voice that I was mortall and approaching to death In this I may heare thee say that I am dead in an irremediable in an irrecouerable state for bodily health If that bee thy language in this voice how infinitely am I bound to thy heauenly Maiestie for speaking so plainly vnto mee for euen that voice that I must die now is not the voice of a Iudge that speaks by way of condemnation but of a Physitian that presents health in that Thou presentest mee death as the cure of my disease not as the exaltation of it if I mistake thy voice herein if I ouer-runne thy pace and preuent thy hand and imagine death more instant vpon mee than thou hast bid him bee yet the voice belongs to me I am dead I was borne dead and from the first laying of these mud-walls in my conception they haue moldred away and the whole course of life is but an actiue death Whether this voice instruct mee that I am a dead man now or remember me that I haue been a dead man all this while I humbly thanke thee for speaking in this voice to my soule and I humâ—ly beseech thee also to â—ccept my prayers in his behalfe by whose occasion this voice this sound is come to mee â—or though hee bee by death transplanted to thee and so in possession of inexpressible happinesse there yet here vpon earth thou hast giuen vs such a portion of heauen as that though men dispute whether thy Saints in heauen doe know what we in earth in particular doe stand in need of yet without all disputation wee vpon earth doe know what thy Saints in heauen lacke yet for the consummation of their happinesse and therefore thou hast affoorded vs the dignitie that wee may pray for them That therefore this soule now newly departed to thy Kingdome may quickly returne to a ioâ—full reunion to that body which it hath left and that wee with it may soone enioy the full consummation of all in body and soule I humbly beg at thy hand O our most mercifull God for thy Sonne Christ Iesus sake That that blessed Sonne of thine may haue the comsummation of his dignitie by entring into his last office the office of a Iudge and may haue societie of humane bodies in heauen as well as hee hath had euer of soulesâ— And that as thou hatest sinne it selfe thy hate to sinne may bee expressed in the abolishing of all instruments of sinne The allurements of this world and the world it selfe and all the temporarie râ—uenges of sinne the stings of sicknesse and of death and all the castles and prisons and monuments of sinne in the graue That time may bee swallowed vp in Eternitie and hope swallowed in possession and ends swallowed in infinitenesse and all men ordained to saluation in body and soule bâ— one intire and euerlasting sacrifice to thee where thou mayest receiue delight from them and they glorie from thee for euermore Amen 19. Oceano tandem emenso aspicienda resurgit Terra vident iustis medici iam cocta mederi se posse indicijs At last the Physitians after a long and stormie voyage see land They haue so good signes of the conâ—oction of the disease as that they may safely proceed to purge 19. MEDITATION ALl this while the Physitians themselues haue beene patients patiently attending when they should see any land in this Sea any earth any cloud any indication of concoction in these waters Any disorder of mine any pretermission of theirs exalts the dâ—sease accelerates the rages of it no diligence accelerates the concoction the maturitie of the disease they must stay till the season of the sicknesse come and till it be ripened of it selfe and then they may put to their hand to gather it before it fall off but they cannot hasten the ripening Why should wee looke for it in a disease which is the disorder the discord the irregularitie the commotion and rebellion of the body It were scarce a disease if it could bee ordered and
doth not so much hurt against a wal as a Myne vnder the wall nor a thousand enemies that threaten so much as a few that take an oath to say nothing God knew many heauy sins of the people in the wildernes and after but still he charges theÌ„ with that one with Murmuring murmuring in their hearts secret disobediences secreâ— repugnâ—nces against his declar'd wil and thâ—se are the most deadly the most pernicious And it is so to with the diseases of the body and that is my case The pulse the vrine the sweat all haue sworn to say nothing to giue no Indication of any dangerous sicknesse My forces are not enfeebled I find no decay in my strength my prouisions are not cut off I find no abhorring in mine appetite my counsels are not corrupted nor infatuated I find no false appreheÌ„sions to work vpon mine vnderstaÌ„dingâ— and yet they see that inuisibly I feele that insensibly the disease preuailes The disease hath established a Kingdome an Empire in mee and will haue certaine Arcana Imperij secrets of State by which it will proceed not be bouÌ„d to declare â—hem But yet against those secret conspiracies in the State the Magistrate hath the raâ—k â— and against these insensible diseases Phisicians haue their examiners and those these imploy now 10. EXPOSTVLATION MY God my God I haue bin told and told by relation by her own brother that did it by thy seruant Nazianzen that his Sister in the vehemeÌ„cy of her prayer did vse to threaten thee with a holy importunitie with a pious impudencie I dare not doe so Oâ— God but as thy seruant Augustin wisht that Adam had not sinned therefore that Christ might not haue died may I not to this one purpose wish That if the Serpent before the tentation of Eue did goe vpright and speake that he did so still because I should the sooner heare him if he spoke the sooner see him if he went vpright In his curse I am cursed too his creeping vndoes mee for howsoeuer hee begin at the heele and doe but bruise that yet he and Death in him is come into our windowes into our Eyes and Eares the entraÌ„ces inlets of our soule He works vpon vs in secret we doe not discerne him And one great work of his vpon vs is to make vs so like himselfe as to sin in secret that others may not see vs But his Master-piece is to make vs sin in secret so as that we may not see our selus sin For the first the hiding of our sins from other men hee hath induo'd that which was his off-spring from the beginning A lye for man is in Nature yet in possesâ—ion of some such sparkes of ingenuitie noblenesse as that but to disguise Euill hee would not lye The bodie the sinne is the Serpents and the garment that couers it the lye is his too These are his but the hiding of sinne from our selues is Hee himselfe when we haue the sting of the Serpent in vs and doe not sting our selues the venim of sin and no remorse for sinn then as thy blessed Sonne said of Iudas Hee is a deuill not that he had one but was one so we are become deuils to our selues and we haue not only a Serpent in our bosome but we our selues are to our selues that Serpent How farre did thy seruant Dauid presse vpon thy pardon in that petition Clense thou me from secret sinns can any sin bee secret for a great part of our sinnes though sayes thy Prophet we conceiue them in the darke vpon ouâ— bed yet sayes he We doe them in the light there are many sins which we glorie in doing and would not doe if no body should know theÌ„ Thy blessed seruant August confesses that hee was ashamed of his shamefastnes and tendernesse of Conscience and that he often be lied himself with sinnes which he neuer did lest he should be vnacceptable to his sinfull companions But if we would conceale them thy Prâ—phet found such a desire and such a practise in some wheÌ„ he said Thou hast trusted in thy wickedkednes and thou hast sayd None shall see me yet can we conceale theÌ„ Thou O God canst heare of them by others The voice of Abels blood will tell thee of Cains murder the Heauens themselues will tell thee HeaueÌ„ shal reueale his iniquity a smal creature alone shall doe it A bird of the ayre shall carry the voice and tell the matter Thou wilt trouble no Informer thou thy selfe reuealedst Adams sin to thy selfe And the manifestation of sin is so ful to thee as that thou shalt reueale all to all Thou shalt bring euery worke to Iudgement with euery secret thing and there is nothing couered that shall not bee reuealed But O my God there is another way of knowing my sins which thou louest better then any of these To know them by my Confession As Phisicke works so it drawes the peccant humour to it selfe that when it is gathered together the weight of it selfe may carry that humour away so thy Spirit returns to my Memory my former sinnes that being so recollected they may powre out themâ—elues by Confession When I kept silence sayes thy seruant Dauid day and night thy hand was heauy vpon mee But when I said I wil confesse my transgressions vnto the Lord thou forgauest the iniquitie of my sinne Thou interpretest the very puâ—pose of Confession so well as that thou scarce leauest any new Mercy for the action it selfe This Mercy thou leauest that thou armest vs thereupon against relapses into the sinnes which wee haue confessed And that mercy which thy seruant Augustine apprehends when he sayes to thee Thou hast forgiueÌ„ me those sinnes which I haue done and those sinnes which only by thy grace I haue not done they were done in our inclination to them and euen that inclination needs thy mercy and that Mercy he calls a Pardon And these are most truly secret sinnes because they were neuer done and because no other man nor I my selfe but onely thou knowest how many and how great sinnes I haue scaped by thy grace which without that I should haue multiplied against thee 10. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who as thy Sonne Christ Iesus though hee knew all things yet said hee knew not the day of Iudgement because he knew it not so as that he might tell it vs so though thou knowest all my sins yet thou knowest them not to my comfort except thou know them by my telling them to thâ—e how shall I bring to thy knowledg by that way those sinns which I my selfe know not If I accuse my selfe of Originall sin wilt thou ask me if I know what originall sin is I know not enough of it to satisfie others but I know enough to condemne my self to solicit thee If I confesse to thee the sinnes of my youth wilt thou aske
and â—hen they can and wee can tell that the rich man cannot sleepe because his abundance will not let him The tares were sowen when the husbandmen were asleepe And the elders thought it a probable excuse a credible lie that the waâ—chmen which kept the Sepulchre should say that the bodie of thy son was stolne away when they were asleepe Since thy blessed Sonne rebuked his Disciples for sleeping shall I murmure because I doe not sleepe If Samson had slept any longer in Gaza he had beene taken And when he did sleepe longer with Delilah he was taken Sleepe is as often taken for naturall death in thy Scriptures as for naturall rest Nay sometimes sleepe haâ—h so heauy a sense as to bee taken for sinne it selfe as well as for the punishment of sinne Death Much comfort is not in much sleepe when the most fearefull and most irreuocable Malediction is presenâ—ed by thee in a perpetuall sleepe I will make their feasts and I will make them drunke and they shall sleepe a perpetuall sleepe and not wake I must therefore O my God looke farther than into the very act of sleeping before I mis-interpret my waking for since I finde thy whole hand light shall any finger of that hand seeme heauy since the whole sicknesse is thy Physicke shall any accident in it bee my poison by my murmuring The name of Watchmen belongs to our profession Thy Prophets are not onely seers indued with a power of seeing able to see but Watchmen euermore in the Act of seeing And therefore giue me leaue O my blessed God to inuert the words of thy Sonnes Spouse she said I sleepe but my heart waketh I say I wake but my heart sleepeth My body is in a sicke wearinesse but my soule in a peacefull rest with thee and as our eies in our health see not the Aire that is next them nor the fire nor the spheares nor stop vpon any thing till they come to starres so my eies that are open see nothing of this world but passe through all that and fix themselues vpon thy peace and ioy and glory aboue Almost as soone as thy Apostle had said Let vs not sleepe lest we should be too much discomforted if we did he saies againe whether we wake or sleepe let vs liue together with Christ. Though then this absence of sleepe may argue the presence of death the Originall may exclude the Copie the life the picture yet this gentle sleepe and rest of my soule betroths mee to thee to whom I shall bee married indissolubly though by this way of dissolution 15. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who art able to make and dost make the sicke bed of thy seruants Chappels of ease to them and the dreames of thy seruants Prayers and Meditations vpon thee let not this continuall watchâ—ulnes of mine this inabilitie to sleepe which thou hast laid vpon mee bee any disquiet or discomfort to me but rather an argument that thou wouldest not haue me sleepe in thy presence What it may indicate or signifie concerning the state of my body let them consider to whom that consideration belongs doe thou who onely art the Physitian of my soule tell her that thou wilt afford her such defensatiues as that shee shall wake euer towards thee and yet euer sleepe in thee that through all this sicknesse thou wilt either preserue mine vnderstanding from all decaies and distractions which these watchings might occasion or that thou wilt reckon and account with me from before those violencies and not call any peece of my sicknesse a sinne It â—s a heauy and indelible sinne that I brought into the world wiâ—h meâ— It is a heauy and innuâ—merable multitude of sins which I haue heaped vp since I haue sinned behind thy backe if that can be done by wilfull absteining from thy Congregations and omitting thy seruice and I haue sinned before thy face in my hypocrisies in Prayer in my ostentation and the mingling a respect of my selfe in preaching thy Word I haue sinned in my fasting by repining when a penurious fortune hath kept mee low And I haue sinned euen in that fulnesse when I haue been at thy table by a negligent examination by a wilfull preuarication in receiuing that heauenly food and Physicke But as I know O my gracious God that for all those sinnes committed since yet thou wilt consider me as I was in thy purpose when thou wrotest my name in the booke of Life in mine Election so into what deuiations soâ—uer I stray and wander by occasion of this sicknes O God returne thou to that Minute wherein thou wast pleased with me and consider me in that condition 16. Et properare meum clamant è Turre propinqua Obstreperae Campanae aliorum in funere funus From the bels of the church adioyning I am daily remembred of my buriall in the funeralls of others 16. MEDITATION WE haue a Conuenient Author who writ a Discourse of Bells when hee was Prisoner in Turky How would hee haue enlarged himselfe if he had beene my fellow Prisoner in this sicke bed so neere to that steeple which neuer ceases no more than the harmony of the spheres but is more heard When the Turkes tooke Constantinople they melted the Bells into Ordnance I haue heard both Bells and Ordnance but neuer been so much affected with those as with these Bells I haue lien neere a steeple in which there are said to be more than thirty Bels And neere another where there is one so bigge as that the Clapper is said to weigh more than six hundred pound â— yet neuer so affected as here Here the Bells can scarse solemnise the funerall of any person but that I knew him or knew that hee was my Neighbour we dwelt in houses neere to one another before but now hee is gone into that house into which I must follow him There is a way of correcting the Children of great persons that other Children are corrected in their behalfe and in their names and this workes vpon them who indeed had more desâ—rued it And when these Bells tell me that now one and now another is buried must not I acknowledge that they haue the correction due to me and paid the debt that I owe There is a story of a Bell in a Monastery which when any of the house was sicke to death rung alwaies voluntarily and they knew the ineuitablenesse of the danger by that It rung once when no man was sick but the next day one of the house fell from the steeple and died and the Bell held the reputation of a Prophet still If these Bells that warne to a Funerall now were appropriated to none may not I by the houre of the funerall supply How many men that stand at an execution if they would aske for what dies that Man should heare their owne faults condemned and see themselues executed by Atturney
DEVOTIONS VPON Emergent Occasions and seuerall steps in my Sicknes Digested into 1. MEDITATIONS vpon our Humane Condition 2. EXPOSTVLATIONS and Debatements with God 3. PRAYERS vpon the seuerall Occasions to him By IOHN DONNE Deane of S. Pauls London LONDON Printed for THOMAS IONES 1624. TO THE MOST EXCELlent Prince Prince CHARLES Most Excellent Prince I Haue had three Births One Naturall when I came into the World One Supernatural when I entred into the Ministery and now a preter-naturall Birth in returning to Life from this Sicknes In my second Birth your Highnesse Royall Father vouchsafed mee his Hand noâ— onely to sustaine meâ— in it but to lead mee to it In this last Birth I my selfe am borne a Father This Child of mine this Booke comes into the world from mee and with mee And therefore I presume as I did the Father to the Father to present the Sonne to the Sonne This Image of my Humiliation to the liuely Image of his Maiesty your Highnesse It might bee enough that God hath seene my Deuotions But Examples of Good Kings are Commandements And Ezechiah writt the Meditations of his Sicknesse after his Sicknesse Besides as I haue liu'd to see not as a Witnesse onely but as a Partaker the happinesses of a part of your Royal Fathers time so shall I liue in my way to see the happpinesses of the times of youâ— Highnesse too if this Child of mine inanimated by your gracious Acceptation may so long preserue aliue the Memory of Your Highnesse Humblest and Deuoâ—edst IOHN DONNE Stationes siue Periodi in Morbo ad quas referuntur Meditationes sequentes 1 INsultus Morbi primus 2 Post Actio loesa 3 Decubitus sequitur tandeÌ„ 4 Medicusque vocatur 5 Solus adest 6 Metuit 7 Socios sibi iungier instat 8 Et Rex ipse suum mittit 9 Medicamina scribunt 10 Lentè Serpenti sataâ—unt occurrere Morbo 11 Nobilibusque trahunt a cincto corde venenum Succis Gemmis quae Generosa ministrant Ars Natura instillant 12 Spirante Columbâ Suppositâ pedibus reuocantur ad ima vapores 13 Atque Malum Genium numeroso stigmate fassusâ— Pellitur ad pectus Morbique Suburbia Morbus 14 Idque notant Criticis Medici euenisse diebus 15 Interâ—a insomnes Nocteâ— ego duco Diesque 16 Et properare meum clamant e turre propinqua Obstreperae Campanae aliorum in funere funus 17 Nunc lento sonitu dicuntâ— Morieris 18 At indeâ— Mortuus es sonitu celeri pulsuque agitato 19 Oceano tandem emenso aspicienda resurgit Terra vident iustis Medici iam cocta mederi Se posse indicijs 20 Id agunt 21 Atque anâ—uit Ille Qui per eos clamat linquas iam Lazare lectum 22 Sit Morbi Fomes tibi Cura 23 Metusque Relabi Erraâ—a Pag. 40. pro 2.3 Meditat. Pag. 43. vlt. pasture posture Pag. 96. lin penult flesh God Pag. 158. in Marg. Buxdor Pag. 173. li. 13. add hast Pag. 184. in marg Augustin Pag. 185. lin 17. blow flow DEVOTIONS 1. Insultus Morbi primus The first alteration The first grudging of the sicknesse 1. MEDITATION VAriable and therfore miserable condition of Man this minute I was well and am ill this minute I am surpriz'd with a sodaine change alteration to worse and can impute it to no cause nor call it by any name We study Health and we deliberate vpon our meats and drink and Ayre and exercises and we hew and wee polish euery stone that goes to that building and so our Health is a long a regular work But in a minute a Canon batters all ouerthrowes all demolishes all a Sicknes vnpreuented for all our diligence vnsuspected for all our curiosiâ—ie nay vndeserued if we consider only disorder summons vs seizes vs possesses vs destroyes vs in an instant O miserable condition of Man which was not imprinted by God who as hee is immortall himselfe had put a coale a beame of Immortalitie into vs which we might haue blowen into a flame but blew it ouâ— by our first sinne wee beggard our selues by hearkning after false riches and infatuated our selues by hearkning after false knowledge So that now we doe not onely die but die vpon the Rack die by the torment of sicknesse nor that onely but are pre-afflicted super-afflicted with these ielousies and suspitions and apprehensions of Sicknes before we can cal it a sicknes we are not sure we are ill one hand askes the other by the pulse and our eye askes our own vrine how we do O multiplied misery we die and cannot enioy death because wee die in this torment of sicknes we are tormented with sicknes cannot stay till the torment come but pre-appreheÌ„sions and presages prophecy those torments which induce that death before either comeâ— and our dissolution is conceiued in these first changes quickned in the sicknes it selfe and borne in death which beâ—res date from these first changes Is this the honour which Man hath by being a litle world That he hath these earthquakes in him selfe sodaine shakings these lightnings sodaine flashes these thunders sodaine noises these Eâ—clypses sodain offuscations darknings of his senses these blazing stars sodaine fiery exhalations these riuers of blood sodaine red waters Is he a world to himselfe onely therefore that he haâ—h inough in himself not only to destroy and execute himselfe but to presage that execution vpon himselfe to asâ—ist the sicknes to antidate the sicknes to make the sicknes the more irremediable by sad apprehensions and as if hee would make a fire the more vehement by sprinkling water vpon the coales so to wrap a hote feuer in cold Melancholy least the feuer alone shold not destroy fast enough without this contribution nor perfit the work which is destruction except we ioynd an artificiall sicknes of our owne melancholy to our natural our vnnaturall feuer O perplex'd discomposition O ridling distemper O miserable condition of Man 1. EXPOSTVLATION IF I were but meere dust ashes I might speak vnto the Lord for the Lordes hand made me of this dust and the Lords hand shall recollect these ashes the Lords hand was the wheele vpon which this vessell of â—lay was framed and the Lordes hand is the Vrne in which these ashes shall be preseru'd I am the dust the ashes of the Temple of the H. Ghost and what Marble is so precious But I am more then dust ashes I am my best part I am my soule And being so the breath of God I may breath back these pious expostulations to my God My God my God why is not my soule as fensible as my body Why hath not my soule these apprehensions these presages these changes those antidates those iealousies those suspitions of a sinne â— as well as my body of a sicknes why is there not alwayes a pulse in my Soule to beat at the approch of a tentation to sinne why are there not alwayes waters in mine
are gon to read vpon me O how manifold and perplexed a thing nay how wanton and various a thing is ruine and destruction God presented to Dauid three kinds War Famine and Pestilence Satan left out these and brought in fires froÌ„ heauen and windes from the wildernes If there were no ruine but sicknes wee see the Masters of that Art can scarce nuÌ„ber not name all sicknesses euery thing that disorders a faculty the function of that is a sicknesse The names wil not serue theÌ„ which are giuen froÌ„ the place affected the Plurisâ—â— is so nor from the effect which it works the falling sicknes is so they caÌ„not haue names ynow from what it does nor where it is but they must extort names froÌ„ what it is like what it resembles bâ—t in some one thing or els they would lack names for the Wolf and the Canker and the Polypus are so and that question whether there be more names or things is as perplexd in sicknesses as in any thing else except it be easily resolud vpon that side that there are more sicknesses theÌ„ names If ruine were reduc'd to that one way that Man could perish noway but by sicknes yet his danger were infinit and if sicknes were reduc'd to that one way that there were no sicknes but a feuer yet the way were infinite still for it would ouerlode oppress any naturall disorder and discompose any artificiall Memâ—ry to deliuer the names of seuerall Feuers how intricate a worke then haue they who arâ— gone to consult which of these sicknesses mine is and then which of these feuers and then what it would do and theÌ„ how it may be countermind But euen in ill it is a degree of good wheÌ„ the euil wil admit consultation In many diseases that which is but an accident but a symptom of the main disease is so violeÌ„t that the phisician must attend the cure of that though hee pretermiâ— so far as to intermiâ— the cure of the disease it self Is it not so in States too somtimes the insoleÌ„cy of those that are great put the people into commotions the great disease the greatest danger to the Head is the insolency of the great ones yet they execute Martial law they come to present executions vpoÌ„ the people whose commotion was indeed but a simptom but an accident of the maine disease but this symptom grown so violent wold allow no time for a consultatioÌ„ Is it not so in the accidents of the diseases of our mind too Is it not euidently so in our affections in our passions If a cholerick man be ready to strike must I goe about to purge his choler or to breake the blow But where there is room for consultatioÌ„ things are not desperate They consult so there is nothing rashly incoÌ„sideratly done and then they prescribe theâ— write so there is nothing couertly disguisedly vnavowedly done In bodily diseases it is not alwaies so sometimes assoon as the Phisicians foote is in the chamber his knife is in the patients arme the disease would not allow a minutes forbearing of blood nor prescribing of other remedies In States matter of gouernmeÌ„t it is so too they are somtimes surprizd with such accideÌ„ts as that the Magistrat asks not what may be done by law but does that which must necessarily be don in that case But it is a degree of good in euill a degree that caâ—ies hope coÌ„fort in it when we may haue râ—â—course to that which is written and that the proceedings may bee apert and ingenuous and candid and auowable for that giues satisfaction and acquiescence They who haue receiued my Anatomy of my selfe consult and end their consultatioÌ„ in prescribing and in prescribing Phisick proper and conuenient remedy for if they shold come in again and chide mee for some disorder that had occasion'd and inducd or that had hastned and exalted this sicknes or if they should begin to write now rules for my dyet and exercise when I were well this were to antidate or to postdate their Consultation not to giue phisick It were rather a vexation then a reliefe to tell a condemnd prisoner you might haue liu'd if you had done this if you can get your pardon you shal do wel to take this or this course hereafter I am glad they know I haue hid nothing from them glad they consult they hide nothing froÌ„ one another glad they write they hide nothing froÌ„ the world glad that they write and prescribe Phisick that there are remedies for the present case 9. EXPOSTVLATION My God my God allow me a iust indignation a holy detestation of the insoleÌ„cy of that Man who because he was of that high raÌ„ke of whoÌ„ thou hast said They are gods thought himselfe more then equall to thee That king of Aragon Alfonsus so perfit in the motions of the heauenly bodies as that hee aduentured to say That if he had bin of councell with thee in the making of the heauens the the heauens should haue bin disposed in a better order then they are The king Amasiah would not indure thy prophet to reprehend him but asked him in anger Art thou made of the kings councellâ— When thy Prophet Esaias askes that questioÌ„ who hath directed the spirit of the Lord or being his councellor hath tought him It is after hee had setled and determined that office vpon thy sonne and him onely wheÌ„ he ioyns with those great Titles The mighty God and the prince of peace this also the Councellor and after he had setled vpon him the spirit of might and of councell So that theÌ„ thou O God thogh thou haue no councell from Man yet doest nothing vpon man without councell In the making of Man there was a consultation let vs make man In the preseruing of Man O thou great preseruer 〈◊〉 men thou proceededst by councell for all thy externall workes are the workes of the whole Trinity and their hand is to euery action How much more must I apprehend that al you blesâ—sed glorious persons of the Trinitie are in Consultation now what you wil do with this in firm body with this leprous Soule that attends guiltily but yet comfortably your determination vpoÌ„ it I offer not to counsell them who meet in consultatioÌ„ for my body now but I open my inâ—â—rmities I anatomise my body to them So I do my soule to thee O my God in an huÌ„ble confession That there is no veine in mee that is not full of the bloud of thy Son whoÌ„ I haue crucified Crucified againe by multiplying many and often repeating the same sinnes that there is no Artery in me that hath not the spirit of error the spirit of lust the spirit of giddines in itâ— no bone in me that is not hardned with the custoâ—e of sin and nourished and soupled with the marrow of sinn no sinews no ligameÌ„ts that do not tie chain sin and
me if I know what those sins were I know them not so well as to name them all nor am sure to liue houres enough to name them al for I did theÌ„ then faster then I can speak them now when euery thing that I did conduc'd to some sinne but I know theÌ„ so well as to know that nothing but thy mercy is so infinite as they If the naming of Sinnes of Thought Word and Deed of sinns of Omission and of Action of sins against thee against my neighbour and against my self of sinns vnrepented and sinnes relapsed into after Repentance of sinnes of Ignorance and sinnes against the testimonie of my Conscience of sinnes against thy Commaundements sinnes against thy Sonnes Prayer and sinns against our owne Creed of sins against the laws of that Church sinnes against the lawes of that State in which thou hast giuen mee my station If the naming oâ— these sinnes reach not home to all mine I know what will O Lord pardon me me all those sinnes which thy Sonne Christ Iesus suffered for who suffered for all the sinnes of all the world for there is no sinne amongst all those which had not been my sinne if thou hadst not beene my God and antidated me a pardon in thy preuenting grace And since sinne in the nature of it retaines still so much of the author of it that it is a Serpent insensibly insinuating it selfe into my Soule let thy brazen Serpent the contemplation of thy Sonne crucified for me be euermore present to me for my recouery against the sting of the first Serpent That so as I haue a Lyon against a Lyon The Lyon of the Tribe of Iudah against that Lyon that seekes whom hee may deuoure so I may haue a Serpent against a Serpent the Wisedome of the Serpent against the Malice of the Serpent And both against that Lyon and Serpent forcible and subtill tentations Thy Doue with thy Oliue in thy Arke Humilitie and Peace and Reconciliation to thee by the ordinances of thy Churchâ— Amen 11. Nobilibusque trahunt a cincto Corde venenum Succis Gemmis quae generosa Ministrant Ars et Natura instillant They vse Cordials to keep the venim and Malignitie of the disease from the Heart 11. MEDITATION WHence can wee take a better argument a clearer dâ—monstration that all the Greatnes of this world is built vpon opinion of others and hath in it self no reall being nor power of subsistence then from the heart of man It is alwayes in Action and motion still busie still pretending to doe all to furnish all the powers and faculties with all that they haue But if an â—nemy dare rise vp against it it is the soonest endangered the soonest defeated of any part The Braine will hold out longer then it and the Liuer longer then that They will endure a Siege but an vnnatural heat a rebellious heat will blow vp the heart like a Myne in a minute But howsoeuer since the Heart hath the birth-right and Primogeniture and that it is Natures eldest Sonne in vs the part which is first borne to life in man and that the other parts as younger brethren and seruants in this family haue a dependance vpon it it is reason that the principall care bee had of it though it bee not the strongest part as the eldest is oftentimes not the strongest of the family And since the Braine and Liuer and Heart hold not a Triumuirate in Man a Soueraigntie equally shed vpon them all for his well-being as the foure Elements doe for his very being but the Heart alone is in the Principalitie and in the Throne as King the rest as Subiects though in eminent Place and Office must contribute to that as Children to their Parents as all persons to all kindes of Superiours though ofteÌ„times those Parents or those Superiours bee not of stronger parts then themselues that serue and obey them that are weaker Neither doth this Obligation fall vpon vs by second Dictates of Nature by Consequences and Conclusions arising out of Nature or deriu'd from Nature by Discourse as many things binde vs euen by the Law of Nature and yet not by the primarie Law of Nature as all Lawes of Proprietie in that which we possesse are of the Law of Nature which law is To giue euery one his owne and yet in the primarie law of Nature there was no Proprietie no Meum Tuum but an vniuersall Communitie ouer all So the obedience of Superiours is of the law of Nature and yet in the primarie law of Nature there was no Superioritie no Magistracie but this contribution of assistance of all to the Soueraigne of all parts to the Heart is from the very first dictates of Nature which is in the first place to haue care of our owne Preseruation to looke first to our selues for therefore doth the Phisician intermit the present care of Braine or Liuer because there is a possibilitie that they may subsist though there bee not a present and a particular care had of them but there is no possibilitie that they can subsist if the Heart perish and so when we seeme to begin with others in such assistances indeed wee doe beginne with our selues and wee our selues are principally in our contemplation and so all these officious and mutuall assistances are but complements towards others and our true end is our selues And this is the reward of the paines of Kings sometimes they neede the power of law to be obeyd and when they seeme to be obey'd voluntarily they who doe it doe it for their owne sakes O how little a thing is all the greatnes of man and through how false glasses doth he make shift to multiply it and magnifie it to himselfe And yet this is also another misery of this King of man the Heart which is also applyable to the Kings of this world great men that the venime poyâ—on of euery pestilentiall disease directs it selfe to the heart affects that pernicious affection and the malignity of ill men is also directed vpon the greatest and the best and not only greatnesse but goodnesse looses the vigour of beeing an Antidote or Cordiall against it And as the noblest and most generous Cordialls that Nature or Art afford or can prepare if they be often taken and made familiar become no Cordialls nor haue any extraordinary operation so the greatest Cordiall of the Heart patience if it bee much exercis'd exalts the venim and the malignity of the Enemy and the more we suffer the more wee are insulted vpon When God had made this Earth of nothing it was but a little helpe that he had to make other things of this Earth nothing can be neerer nothing then this Earth and yet how little of this Earth is the greatest Man Hee thinkes he treads vpon the Earth that all is vnder his feâ—te and the Braine that thinkes so is but Earth his highest Region the flesh that couers that is but earth and euen
mention the Flea as the Viper because the Flea though hee kill none hee does all the harme hee can so euen these libellous and licentious Iesters vtter the venim they haue though sometimes vertue and alwaies power be a good Pigeon to draw this vapor from the Head and from doing any deadly harme there 12. EXPOSTVLATION MY God my God as thy seruant Iames when he asks that questioÌ„ what is your life prouides me my answere It is euen a vapor that appeareth for a little time then vanisheth away so if he did aske me what is your death I am prouided of my answere It is a vapor too And why should it not be all one to mee whether I liue or die if life and death be all one both a vapor Thou haâ—t made vapor so indifferent a thing as that thy Blessings and thy Iudgements are equally expressed by it and is made by thee the Hierogliphique of both Why should not that bee alwaies good by which thou hast declared thy plentifull goodnes to vs A vapor went vp from the Earth and watred the whole face of the ground And that by which thou hast imputed a goodnes to vs and wherein thou hast accepted our seruice to thee sacrifices for Sacrifices were vapors And in thâ—m it is said that a thicke cloude of incâ—nce went vp to thee So it is of that wherein thou comst to vs the dew of Heauen And of that wherein we come to theeâ— both are vapors And hee in whom we haue and are all that we are or haue teÌ„porally or spiritually thy blessed Son in the persoÌ„ of wisedome is called so to she is that is he is the vapor of the power of God and the pure influence froÌ„ the glory of the Almighty Hast thou Thou O my God perfumed vapor with thine own breath with so many sweet acceptations in thine own word and shall this vapor receiue an ill and infectious sense It must for since we haue displeased thee with that which is but vapor for what is sinne but a vapor but a smoke though such a smoke as takes away our sight and disables vs from seeing our danger it is iust that thou punish vs with vapoâ—s to For so thou dost as the Wiseman tels vs Thou canst punish vs by those things wherein wee offend thee as he hath expressed it there Bâ— beasts newly created breathing vapors Therefore that Commination of â—hine by thy Prophet I will shew wonders in the heauen and in the Earth bloud and fire and pillars of smoke â— thine Apostle who knewe thy meaning best calls vapors of smoke One Propheâ— presents thee in thy terriblenesse so There went out a smoke at his Nostrils and another the effect of thine anger so The house was filled with smoake And hee that continues his Prophesie as long as the world can continue describes the miseries of the latter times so Out of the bottomlesse pit arose a smoke that darkened the Sunne and out of that smoke came Locusts who had the power of Scorpions Now all smokes begin in fire all these will end so too The smoke of sin and of thy wrath will end in the fire of hell But hast thou afforded vs no means to euaporate these smokes to withdraw these vapors When thine Angels fell from heauen thou tookst into thy care the reparatioÌ„ of that place didst it by assuming by drawing vs thitherâ— when we fel from thee here in this world thou tookst into thy care the reparation of this place too and didst it by assuming vs another way by descending down to assume our nature in thy Son So that though our last act be an ascending to glory we shall ascend to the place of Angels yet our first act is to goe the way of thy Sonn descending and the way of thy blessed spirit too who descended in the Doue Therefore hast thou bin pleased to afford vs this remedy in Nature by this application of a Doue to our lower parts to make these vapors in our bodies to descend and to make that a type to vs that by the visitation of thy Spirit the vapors oâ— sin shall descend we tread them vnder our feet At the baptisme of thy Son the Doue descended at the exalting of thine Apostles to preach the same spirit desceÌ„ded Let vs draw down the vapors of our own pride our own wits our own wils our own inueÌ„tions to the simplicitie of thy Sacraments the obedience of thy word and these Doues thus applied shall make vs liue 12. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who though thou haue suffred vs to destroy our selues hast not giuen vs the power of reparation in our sâ—lues hast yet afforded vs such meanes of reparation as may easily and familiarly be compassed by vs prosper I humbly beseech thee this means of bodily assistance in this thy ordinary creature and prosper thy meanes of spirituall assistance in thy holy ordinances And as thou hast caried this thy creature the Doue through all thy wayes through Nature and made it naturally proper to conduce medicinally to our bodily health Through the law and made it a sacrifice for sinne there and through the Gospel and made it thy spirit in it a witnes of thy sonnes baptisme there so carry it and the qualities of it home to my soule and imprint there that simpliciâ—y that mildnesse that harmelesnesse which thou hast imprinted by Nature in this Creature That so all vapours of all disobedience to thee being subdued vnder my feete I may in the power and triumphe of thy sonne treade victoriously vpon my graue and trample vpon the Lyon and Dragon that lye vnder it to deuoure me Thou O Lord by the Prophet callest the Doue the Doue of the Valleys but promisest that the Doue of the Valleyes shall bee vpon the Mountaine As thou hast layed mee low in this Valley of sickenesse so low as that I am made fit for that question asked in the field of bones Sonne of Man can these bones liue so in thy good time carry me vp to these Mountaynes of which euen in this Valley thou affordest mee a prospect the Mountain where thou dwellest the holy Hill vnto which none can ascend but hee that hath cleane hands which none can haue but by that one and that strong way of making them cleane in the blood of thy Sonne Christ Iesus Amen 13. Ingeniumque malum numeroso stigmate fassus Pellitur ad pectus Morbique Suburbia Morbus The Sicknes declares the infectionâ—â—nd malignity thereof 〈…〉 13. MEDITATION WEe say that the world is made of sea land as though they were equal but we know that ther is more sea in the Western theÌ„ in the Eastern Hemisphere â— We say that the Firmament is full of starres as though it were equally full but we know that there are more stars vnder the Northerne then
into thy bed-chamber by these glories and ioies to the ioies and glories of heauen Why hast thou changed thine old way and carried vs by the waies of discipline and mortification by the waies of mourning and lamentation by the waies of miserable ends and miserable anticipations of those miseries in appropriating the exemplar miseries of others to our selues and vsurping vpon their miseries as our owne to our owne preiudice Is the glory of heauen no perfecter in it selfe but that it needs a foile of depression and ingloriousnesse in this world to set it off Is the ioy of heauen no perfecter in it selfe but that it needs the sourenesse of this life to giue it a taste Is that ioy and that glory but a comparatiue glory and a comparatiue ioy not such in it selfe but such in comparison of the ioilesnesse and the ingloriousnesse of this world I know my God it is farre farre otherwise As thou thy selfe who art all art made of no substances so the ioyes glory which are with thee are made of none of these circumstances Essentiall ioy and glory Essentiall But why then my God wilt thou not beginne them here pardon O God this vnthankfull rashnesse I that aske why thou doest not finde euen now in my selfe that thou doest such ioy such glory as that I conclude vpon my selfe vpon all They that finde not ioy in their sorrowes glory in their deiections in this world are in a fearefull danger of missing both in the next 17. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who hast beene pleased to speake to vs not onely in the voice of Nature who speakes in our hearts and of thy word which speakes to our eares but in the speech of speechlesse Creatures in Balaams Asse in the speech of vnbeleeuing men in the confession of Pilate in the speech of the Deuill himselfe in the recognition and attestation of thy Sonne I humbly accept thy voice in the sound of this sad and funerall bell And first I blessethy glorious name that in this sound and voice I can heare thy instructions in another mans to consider mine owne condition and to know that this bell which tolls for another before it come to ring out may take in me too As death is the wages of sinne it is due to meâ— As death is the end of sicknesse it belongs to mee And though so disobedient a seruant as I may be afraid to die yet to so mercifull a Master as thou I cannot be afraid to come And therefore into thy hands O my God I commend my spirit A surrender which I know thou wilt accept whether I liue or die for thy seruant Dauid made it when he put himselfe into thy protection for his life and thy blessed Sonne made it when hee deliuered vp his soule at his death declare thou thy will vpon mee O Lord for life or death in thy time receiue my surrender of my selfe now Into thy hands O Lord I commend my spirit And being thus O my God prepared by thy correction mellowed by thy chastisement and conformed to thy will by thy Spirit hauing receiued thy pardon for my soule and asking no reprieue for my body I am bold O Lord to bend my prayers to thee for his assistance the voice of whose bell hath called mee to this deuotion Lay hold vpon his soule O God till that soule haue throughly considered his account and how few minutes soeuer it haue to remaine in that body let the power of thy Spirit recompence the shortnesse of time and perfect his account before he passe away present his sinnes so to him as that he may know what thou forgiuest not doubt of thy forgiuenesse let him stop vpon the infinitenesse of those sinnes but dwell vpon the infinitenesse of thy Mercy let him discerne his owne demerits but wrap himselfe vp in the merits of thy Sonne Christ Iesus Breath inward comforts to his heart and affoord him the power of giuing such outward testimonies thereof as all that are about him may deriue comforts from thence and haue this edification euen in this dissolution that though the body be going the way oâ— all flesh yet that soule is going the way of all Saints When thy Sonne cried out vpon the Crosse My God my God Why hast thou forsaken me he spake not so much in his owne Person as in the person of the Church and of his afflicted members who in deep distresses might feare thy forsaking This patient O most blessed God is one of them In his behalfe and in his name heare thy Sonne crying to thee My God my God Why hast thou forsaken me and forsake him not but with thy left hand lay his body in the graue if that bee â—hy determination vpon him and with thy right hand receiue his soule into thy Kingdome and vnite him vs in one CoÌ„munion of Saints Amen 18. At inde Mortuus es Sonitu celeri pulsuque agitato The bell rings out and tells me in him that I am dead 18. MEDITATION THe Bell rings out the pulse thereof is changed the tolling was a faint and intermitting pulse vpon one side this stronger and argues more and better life Hiâ— soule is gone out and as a Man who had a lease of 1000. yeeres after the expiration of a short one or an inheritance after the life of a Man in a Consumption he is now entred into the possession of his better estate His soule is gone whither Who saw it come in or who saw it goe out No body yet euery body is sure he had one and hath none If I will aske meere Philosophers what the soule is I shall finde amongst them that will tell me it is nothing but the temperament and harmony and iust and equall composition of the Elements in the body which produces all those faculties which we ascribe to the soule and so in it selfe is nothing no seperable substance that ouer-liues the body They see the soule is nothing else in other Creatures and they affect an impious humilitie to think as low of Man But if my soule were no more than the soule of a beast I could not thinke so that soule that can reflect vpon it selfe consider it selfe is more than so If I will aske not meere Philosophers but mixt Men Philosophicall Diuines how the soule being a separate substance enters into Man I shall finde some that will tell me that it is by generation procreation from parents because they thinke it hard to charge thâ— soule with the guiltinesse of Originall sinne if the soule were infused into a body in which it must necessarily grow foule and contract originall sinne whether it will or no and I shall finde some that will tell mee that it is by immediate infusion from God because they think it hard to maintaine an immortality in such a soule as should be begotten and deriued with the body froÌ„ Mortall parents If I will aske not a few men but almost whole
who sees thâ—â— who fâ—â—rches those Rollsâ— whether I doe beleeue or no is it not therefore O my God that thou dost so frequently so earnestly referre vs to the hand to the obseruation of actions There is a little suspition a little imputation laid vpon ouer-tedious and dilatorie counsels Many good occasions slip away in long consultations and it may be a degree of sloth to be too long in mending nets though that must bee done He that obserueth the wind shall not saw and he that regardeth the â—â—ouds shall not reape that is he that is too dilatorie too superstitious â—n these obseruations and â—tudies but the excuse of his owne idlenesse in â—hem But that which â—he same wise and royall seruant of thine saies in â—n other place all accept â—nd aske no comment vpon it He becommeth poore that dealeth with a slacke handâ— but the hand of the diligent maketh rich All euill imputed to the absence all good attributed to the presence of the â—and I know my God and I blesse thy name for knowing itâ— for all good knowledge is from thee that thou considerest the heart but thou takest not off thine eie till thou come to the hand Nay my God doth not thy spirit intimate that thou beginnest where wee beginne at least that thou allowest vs to beginne there when thou orderest thine owne answer to thine owne question Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord Thus he that hath cleane hands and a pure heart Doest â—â—ou not at least send 〈◊〉 first to the hand â—nd is not the worke of â—heir hands that declaâ—â—tion of their holy zeale 〈◊〉 the present execution â—f manifest Idolatrers â—â—lled a consecration of â—â—emselues by thy holy â—pirit Their hands are â—alled all themselues for â—uen counsell it selfe goes â—nder that name in thy word who knowest best â—ow to giue right names â—ecause the counsell of the â—riests assisted Dauid Saul saies the hand of the Priest is with Dauidâ— And that which is often said by Moses is very often repeated by thy other Prophets These and these things the Lord spake and the Lord said and the Lord commanmanded not by the counsels not by the voice but by the hand of Moses and by the hand of the Prophets Euermore we are referred for our Euidence of others and of our selues to the hand to action to works There is something before it beleeuing and there is some thing after it suffering but in the most eminent and obuious and conspicuous place stands doing Why then O my God my blâ—ssâ—d God in the waies of my â—pirituall strength come â—l so slow to action I was whipped by thy rod before I came to consultation to consider my state and shall I goâ— no farther As hee that would describe a circle in paper if hee haue brought that circle within one inch of finishing yet if he remoue his compasse he cannot make iâ— vp a perfit circle excepâ— he fall to worke againe to finde out the samâ— center â— so though setting that foot of my compassâ— vpon thee I haue gonâ— so farre as to the consideration of my selfe yet iâ— I depart from thee my center all is vnperfitâ— This proceeding to action therefore is a returning to thee and a working vpon my selfe by thy Physicke by thy purgatiue physicke a free and entire euacuation of my soule by confession The working of purgatiue physicke is violent and contrary to Nature O Lord I decline not this potion of confession how euer it may bee contrary to a naturall man To take physâ—cke and not according to the right method is dangerous O Lord I decline not that method in this physicke in things that burthen my conscience to make my confession to him into whose hands thou hast put thâ— power of absolution â— know that Physicke may be made so pleasant as thaâ— it may easily be taken buâ— not so pleasant as the verâ—tue and nature of the meâ—dicine bee extinguished I know I am not subâ—mitted to such a confession as is a racke and torâ—ture of the Conscience but I know I am not exempt from all If it were meerely problematicall left meerely indifferent whether we should takâ— this Physicke vse thiâ— confession or no a great Physitian acknowledges this to haue beene his practise To minister many things which hee was not sure would doe good but neuer any other thing but such as hee was sure would doe no harme The vse of this spirituall Physicke can certainly doe no harme and the Church hath alwaies thought that it might and doubtlesse many humble soules haue found that it hath done them good I will therefore take the cup of Saluation and call vpon thy Name I will fill this Cup of compunction as full as I haue formerly filled the Cups of woâ—ldly confections that so I may scape the cup of Malediction and irrecouerable destruction that depends vpon that And since thy blessed and glorious Sonne being offered in the way to his Execution a Cup of Suâ—pefaction to take away the sense of his paine a charity afforded to condemned persons ordinarily in those places and times refused that ease and embraced the whole torment I take not this Cup but this vessell of mine owne sinnes into my contemplation and I powre them out here according to the Motions of thy holy Spirit and any where according to the ordinances of thy holy Church 20. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who hauing married Man and Woman together and made them one flesh wouldest haue them also to become one soule so as that they might maintaine a simpathy in their affections and haue a conformity to one another in the accidents of this world good or bad so hauing married this soule and this body in me I humbly beseech thee that my soule may looke and make her vse of thy mercifull proceedings towards my bodily restitution goe the same way to a spirituall I am come by thy goodnesse to the vse of thine ordinary meanes for my body to wash away those peccant humors that endangered it I haue O Lord a Riuer in my body but a Sea in my soule and a Sea swoln into the depth of a Deluge aboue the Sea Thou hast raised vp certaine hils in me heretofore by which I might haue stood safe from these inundations of sin Euen our Naturall faculties are a hill and might preserue vs from some sinne Education study obseruation example are hills too and might preserue vs from some Thy Church and thy Word and thy Sacraments and thine Ordinances are hills aboue these thy Spirit of remorse and compunction repentance for former sin are hills too and to the â—op of all these hils thou hast brought mee heretofore but this Deluge this inundation is got aboue all my Hills and I haue sinned and sinned and multiplied sinne to sinne after all these thy assistances against sinne and where is there water enough to wash away
vs to the consideration of thy voice It is such a voice as that thy Sonne saies the dead shall hearâ— it and that 's my state â— And why O God doest thou not speake to meâ— in that effectuall loudnesse Saint Iohn heard a voice â—â—d hee turned about to see â—he voice sometimes we â—â—e too curious of the â—â—strument by what man â—od speakes but thou â—peakest loudest when â—hou speakest to the â—eart There was silence â—nd I heard a voice saies â—ne to thy seruant Iob. I â—earken after thy voice 〈◊〉 thine Ordinances and â— seeke not a whispering â—n Conuenticles but yet O my God speake louder â—hat so though I doe â—eare thee now then I may heare nothing but thee My sinnes crie aloud Cains murther diâ— so my afflictions criâ— aloud The flouds hauâ— lifted vp their voice anâ— waters are afflictions buâ—â—hou O Lord art mighâ—tier than the voice oâ— many waters than maâ—ny temporall many spiâ—rituall afflictions thaâ— any of either kinde and why doest thou noâ— speak to me in that voice What is man and whereto serueth he what is hiâ— good and what is his euill My bed of sinne is noâ— â—uill not desperatly euill for thou doest call mee out of it but my rising out of it is not good not perfitly good if thou call not louder and hold me now I am vp O my God I am afraid of a fearefull application of â—hose words when a man â—ath done then hee beginâ—eth when his body is vnable to sinne his sinfull memory sinnes ouer his old sinnes againe and that which thou wouldest haue vs to remember for coÌ„punction wee remember with delight Bring him to me in his bed that I may kill him saies Saul of Dauid Thou hast not said so that is not thy voice Ioasb his owne seruants slew him when hee was sicke in his bed Thou hast not â—uffered that that my seruants should so much as neglect mee or be wearie of mee in my sicknesse Thou threatnest that as a shepheard takes out of the mouth of the Lion two legs or a peecâ— of an eare so shall the children of Israel that â—well in Samaria in the corner of a bed and in Daâ—ascus in a couch bee taâ—en away That euen they that are secure from danger shall perish How much more might I who was in the bed of death die But thou hast not dealt so with mee As they brought out sicke persons in beds that thy seruant Peters shadow might ouer-shadow them Thou hast O my God ouer-shadowed mee refreshed mee But when wilt thou doe more when wilt thou doe all when wilt thou speake in thy loud voice when wilt thou bid mee take vp my bed and walke As my bed is my affections when shall I beare them so as to subdue them As my bed is my afflictions when shall I beare them so as not to murmure at them When shall I take vp my bed and walke not lie downe vpon it as it is my pleasure not sinke vnder it as it is my correction But O my God my God the God of all flesh and of all spirit too let me bee content with that in my â—ainting spirit which thou declarest in this decaied flesh that as this body is content to sit still that it may learne to stand and to learne by standing to walke and by walking to trauell so my soule by obeying this thy voice of rising may by a farther and farther growth of â—hy grace proceed so and bee so established as may remoue all suspitions all iealousies betweene thee and mee and may speake and heare in such a voice as that still I may bee acceptable to thee and satisfied from thee 21. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who hast made little things to signifie great and conuaid the infinite merits of thy Sonne in the water of Baptisme and in the Bread and Wine of thy other Sacrament vnto vs receiue the sacrifice of my humble â—hanks that â—hou hast not onely afâ—orded mee the abilitie â—o rise out of this bed of wearinesse discomâ—ort â—ut hast also made this bodily rising by thy grace an earnest of a second resurrection from sinne and of a third to euerlasting glory Thy Sonne himselfe alwaies infinite in himselfe incapable â—f addition was yet pleased to grow in the Virgiâ—s wombe to grow in stature in the sight of men Thy good puâ—poses vpon mee I â—now haue their determination and perfection in thy holy will vpon mee there thy grace is and there I am altogether but manifest theÌ„â—o vnto me in thy seasons and in thy measures and degrees that I may not onely haue that comfort of knowing thee to be infinitely good but that also of finding thee to bee euery day better and better to mee and that as â—hou gauest Saint Paul â—he Messenger of Satan to humble him so for my â—umiliation thou maiest giue me thy selfe in this â—nowledge that what â—race soeuer thou afâ—ord mee to day yet I â—hould perish to morrow if I had not to morrowes grace too Therefore I begge of thee my daily bread and as thou gauest mee the bread of sorrow for many daies and since the bread of hope for some and this day the bread of possessing in rising by that strength which thou the God of all strength hast infused into me so O Lord continue to mee the bread of life the spirituall bread of life in a faithfull assurance in thee the sacramentall bread of life in a worthy receiuing of thee and the more reall bread of life in an euerlasting vnion to thee I know O Lord that when thou hadst created Angels and they saw thee produce fowle and fish and beasts and wormes they did not importune thee and say shall wee haue no better â—reatures than these no better companions than these but staid thy leisure and then had man deliuered ouer to them not much inferiour in nature to themselues No more doe I O God now that by thy first mercie I am able to rise importune thee for present confirmation of â—ealth nor now thaâ— by thy mercie I am brought to see that thy correction hath wrought medicinally vpon mee presume I vpon that spirituall strength I haue but as I acknowledge that my bodily strength is subiect to euery puâ—â—e of wind so is my spirituall strength to euery blast of vanitie Keepe me therefore still O my gracious God in such a proportion of both strengths as I may still hâ—â—e something to thanke thee for which I haue receiued still something to pray for and aske at thy hand â—â— Siâ— morbi fomes tibi cura â—he Physitians consider the root and occasion the embers and coales and fuell of the disease and seeke to purge or correct that â—2 MEDITATION HOw ruinous a farme hath man taken in â—aking himselfe how â—eady is the house eueâ—y day to fall downe and how is all the grounâ— ouer-spread with weeds â— all the
body with diseases where not onely euery turfe but euery stone â— beares weeds not onely euery muscle of the flesh but euery bone of the body hath some infirmitie â— euery little flint vpon the face of this soile hath some infectious weede euery tooth in our head such a paine as a constant man is afraid of and yet ashamed of that feare of that sense of the paine How deare and how ofâ—â—n a rent doth Man â—ay for this farme hee â—ies twice a day in â—ouble meales and how â—â—tle time he hath to raise 〈◊〉 rent How many hoâ—â— daies to call him from â—s labour Euery day is â—alfe-holy day halfe spent â—n sleepe What reparaâ—ions and subsidies and â—ontributions he is put to â—esides his rent What â—edicines besides his diâ—â— and what Inmates â—e is faine to take in besides â—is owne familie what infectious diseases from other men Adam might haue had Paradise for dressing and keeping it and then his renâ— was not improued to such a labour as would haue made his brow sweat and yet he gaue it ouer how farre greater a rent doe wee pay for this farme this body who pay our selues who pay the farme it selfe and cannot liue vpon it Neither is our labour at an end when wee haue cut downe some weed as soone as it sprung vp corrected some violent â—nd dangerous accident of a disease which would â—aue destroied speedily â—or when wee haue pulled vp that weed from the very root recouered â—ntirely and soundly from that particular disease but the whole ground is of an ill naâ—ure the whole soile ill disposed there are â—nclinations there is a propensnesse to diseases in the body out of which without any other disorder diseases will grow and so wee are put to a continuall labour vpon this farme to a continuall studie of the whole complexion and constitution of our body In the distempers and diseases of soiles sourenesse drinesse weeping any kinde of barrennesse the remedy and the physicke is for a great part sometimes in themselues sometime the very situation releeues them the hanger of a hill will purge and vent his owne malignant moisture and the burning of the vpper â—urfe of some ground as â—ealth from cauterizing â—uts a new and a vigorous youth into that soile â—nd there rises a kinde of Phoenix out of the ashes â— fruitfulnesse out of that which was barren before and by that which is the barrennest of all ashes And where the ground cannot giue it â—elfe physicke yet it receiues Physicke from other grounds from other soiles which are not the worse for hauing contributed that helpe to them froâ— Marle in other hils oâ— from slimie sand in otheâ— shoares grounds help themselues or hurt no other grounds froâ— whence they receiuâ— helpe But I haue takeâ— a farme at this hard rent and vpon those heauâ—â— couenants that it can afford it selfe no helpe no part of my body if it were cut off would cure another part in somâ— caâ—es it might preserue a sound part but in no case recouer an infected â—nd if my body may haue â—ny Physicke any Mediâ—ine from another body one Man from the flesh of another Man as by Mummy or any such composition it must â—ee from a man that is dead and not as in other soiles which are neuer the worse for contributing their Marle or their fat slime to my ground There is nothing in the same man to helpe man nothing in mankind to helpe one another in this sort by way of Physicke but that hee who ministers the helpe is in as ill case as he that receiues it would haue beene if he had not had it for hee from whose body the Physicke comes is dead When therefore I tooke this farme vndertooke this body I vndertooke to draine not a marish but a moat where there was not water mingled to offend but all was water I vndertooke to perfume dung where no one part but all was equally vnsauory I vndertooke to make such a thing wholsome as was not poison by any manifest quality intense heat or cold but poison in the whole substance and in the specifique forme of it To cure the sâ—arpe accidents of diseases is a great worke to cure the disease it selfe is a greater but to cure the body the root the occasion of diseases is a worke reserued for the great Physitian which he doth neâ—er any other way but by glorifying these bodies in the next world 22. EXPOSTVLATION MY God my God what am I put to when I am put to consider and put off the root the fuell the occasion of my sicknesse What Hypocrates what Galen could shew mee that in my body It lies deeper than so it lies in my soule And deeper than so for we may wel consider the body before the soule came before inanimation to bee without sinne and the soule bâ—fore it come to the body before that infection to be without sinne sinne is the root and the fuell of all sicknesse and yet that which destroies body soule is in neither but in both together It is in the vnion â— of the body and soule and O my God could I preuent that or can I dissolue that The root and the fuell of my sicknesse is my sinne my actuall sinne but euen that sinne hath another root another fuell originall sinne and can I deuest that Wilt thou bid me to separate the leuen that a lumpe of Dowe hath receiued or the salt that the water hath contracted from the Sea Dost thou looke that I should so looke to the fuell or embers of sinne that I neuer take fire The whole world is a pile of fagots vpoÌ„ which wâ—e are laid and as though there were no other we are the bellowes Ignorance blowes the fire He that touched any vncleane thing though he knew it not became vncleane and a sacrifice was required therefore a sin imputed though it were done in ignorance Ignorance blowes this Coale but theÌ„ knowledge much more for there are that know thy iudgements and yet not onely doe but haue pleasure in others that doe against them Nature blowes this Coale By nature wee are the children of wrath And the Law blowes it thy Apostle Saint Paul â—ound That sinne tooke occasion by the Law that therefore because it is forbidden we do some things If wee breake the Law wee sinne Sinne is the transgression of the Law And sinne it selfe becomes a Law in our members Our fathers haue imprinted the seed infused a spring of sinne in vs As a fountaine casteth out her waters wee cast out our wickednesse but we haue done worse than our fathers We are open to infinite tentations and yet as though we lacked we are tempted of our owne lusts And not satisfied with that as though we werâ— not powerfull enough or cunning enough to demolish or vndermine our selues when wee our selues haue no pleasure in the sinne we sinne for others sakes When
Adam sinned for Eues sake and Salomon to gratifie his wiues it was an vxorious sinne When the Iudges sinned for Iezabels sake and Ioab to obey Dauid it was an ambitious sinne When Pilat sinned to humor the people and Herod to giue farther contentment to the Iewes it was a popular sinne Any thing serues to occasion sin at home in my bosome or abroad in my Marke and aime that which I am and that which I am not that which I would be proues coales and embers and fuell and bellowes to sin and dost thou put me O my God to discharge my selfe of my selfe before I can be well When â—hou bidst me to put off â—he old Man doest thou meane not onely my old habits of actuall sin but the oldest of all originall sinne When thou biddest me purge out the â—euen dost thou meane not only the sowrenesse of mine owne ill contracted customes but the innate tincture of sin imprinted by Nature How shall I doe that which thou requirest and not falsifie that which thou hast said that sin is gone ouer all But O my God I presse thee not with thine owne text without thine owne comment I know that in the state of my body which is more discernible than that of my soule thou dost effigiate my Soule to me And though no Anatomist can say in dissecting a body here lay the coale the fuell the occasion of all bodily diseases but yet a man may haue such a knowledge of his owne constitution and bodily inclination to diseases as that he may preuent his danger in a great part so though wee cannot assigne the place of originall sinne nor the Nature of it so exactly as of actuall or by any diligence deuest it yet hauing washed it in the water of thy Baptisme wee haue not onely so cleansed it that wee may the better look vpon it and discerne it but so weakned it that howsoeuer it may retaine the former nature it doth not retaine the former force and though it may haue the same name it hath not the same venome 22. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God the God of securitie and the enemie of securitie too who wouldest haue vs alwaies sure of thy loue and yet wouldest haue vs alwaies doing something for it let mee alwaies so apprehend thee as present with me and yet so follow after thee as though I had not apprehended thee Thou enlargedst Ezechias lease for fifteene yeeres Thou renewedst Lazarus his lease for a time which we know not But thou didst neuer so put out any of these fires as that thou didst not rake vp the embers and wrap vp a future mortalitie in that body which thou hadst then so reprieued Thou proceedest no otherwise in our soules O our good but fearefull God Thou pardonest no sinne so as that that sinner can sinne no more thou makest no man so acceptable as that thou makâ—st him impeccable Though therefore it were a diminution of the largenesse and derogatorie to the fulnesse of thy mercie to looke backe vpon those sinnes which in a true repentance â— I haue buried in the wounds of â—hy Sonne with a iealous or suspicious eie as though they were now my sinnes when I had so â—ransferred them vpon â—hy Sonne as though â—hey could now bee raised to life againe to condemne mee to death when they are dead in â—im who is the fountaine of life yet were it an irregular anticipation and an insolent presumption to thinkâ— that thy present mercie extended to all my future sinnes or that there were no embers no coales of future sinnes left in mee Temper therefore thy mercie so to my soule O my God that I may neither decline to any faintnesse of spirit in suspecting thy mercie now to bee lesse hearty lesse sincere than it vses to be to those who are perfitly reconciled to thee nor presume so of it as either to thinke this present mercie an antidote against all poisons and so expose my selfe to tentations vpon confidence that this thy mercie shall preserue mee or that when I doe cast my selfe into new sinnes I may haue new mercie at any time because thou didst so easily afford mee this 23. Metusque Relabi They warne mee of the fearefull danger of relapsing 23. MEDITATION IT is not in mans body as it is in the Citie that when the Bell hath rung to couer your fire and â—ake vp the embers you may lie downe and sleepe without feare Though you haue by â—â—ysicke and diet raked vp the embers of your â—isease stil there is a feare of a relapse and the greater danger is in that â—uen in pleasures and in â—â—ines there is a propriety â— Meum Tuum and a man is most affected with that pleasure which is his his by former enâ—oying and experience and most intimidated with those paines which are his his by a wofull â—ense of them in former â—fflictions A couetous â—erson who hath preoccupated all his senses filled all his capacities with the delight of gathering wonders how any man can haue any taste of any pleasure in any opennesse or liberalitie So also in bodily paines in a fit of the stone thâ— patient wonders why any man should call the Gout a paine And hee that hath felt neither but the tooth-ach is as much afraid of a â—it of that as either of the other of either of the other Diseases which we â—euer felt in our selues â—ome but to a compassiâ—â— of others that haue â—ndured them Nay â—ompassion it selfe comes â—o no great degree if wee â—aue not felt in some â—roportion in our selues â—hat which wee lament â—nd condole in another But when wee haue had â—hose torments in their â—â—altation our selues wee â—emble at a relapse â—hen wee must pant â—hrough all those fierie â—eats and saile thorow â—ll those ouerflowing sweats when wee must watch through all those long nights and mourne through all those long daies daies and nights so long as that Nature her selfe shall seeme to be peruerted and to hauâ— put the longest day and the longest night which should bee six moneths asunder into one naturall vnnaturall day when wee must stand at the same barre expect the returne of Physitians from â—heir consultations and not bee sure of the sâ—me verdict in any good Indications when we must goe the same way ouer againe and not see the same issue this is a state a condition a calamitie in respect of which any other sicknesse were a â—onualescence and any greater lesse It addes to the affliction that relapses are and for the most part iustly imputed to our selues as occasioned by some disorder in vs and so we are not onely passiue but actiue in our owne ruine we doe not onely stand vnder a falling house but pull it downe vpon vs and wee are not onely executed that implies guiltinesse but wee are executioners that implies dishonor and executioners of our selues and that implies impietie And wee fall from that
comfort which wee might haue in our first sicknesse from that meditation Alas how generally miserable is Man and how subiect to diseases for in that it is some degree of comfort that wee are but in the staâ—e common to all we fall I say to this discomfort and selfe accusing selfe condemning Alas how vnprouident and in that how vnthankfull to God and his instruments am I in making so ill vse of so great benefits in destroying so soone so long a worke in relapsing by my disorder to that from which they had deliuered mee and so my meditation is fearefully transferred from the body to the minde and from the consideration of the sicknesse to that sinne that sinfull carelesnesse by which I haue occasioned my relapse And amongst the many weights that aggrauate a relapse this also is one that a relapse proceeds with a more violent dispatch and more irremediably because it finds the Countrie weakned and depopulated before Vpon a sicknesse which as yet appeares not wee can scarce fix a feare because wee know not what to feare but as feare is the busiest and irksomest affection so is a relapse which is still ready to come into that which is but newly gone the nearest obiect the most immediate exercise of that affection of fearâ— 23. EXPOSTVLATION MY God my God my God thou mightie Father who hast beene my Physitian Thou glorious Sonne who hast beene my physicke Thou blessed Spirit who hast prepared and applied all to mee shall I alone bee able to ouerthrow the worke of all you and relapse into those spirituall sicknesses from which your infinite mercies haue withdrawne me Though thou O my God hâ—ue filled my measure with mercie yet my measure was not so large as that of thy whole people the Nation the numerous and glorious nation of Israel and yet how often how often did they fall into relapses And then where is my assurance how easily thou passedst ouer many other sinnes in them and how vehemently thou insistedst in those into which they so often relapsed Those were their murmurings against thee in thine Instruments and Ministers and their turnings vpon other gods and embracing the Idolatries of their neighbours O my God how slipperie a way to how irrecouerable a bottome is murmuring and how neere thy selfe hee comes that murmures at him who comes from thee The Magistrate is the garment in which thou apparellest thy selfe and hee that shoots at the cloathes cannot say hee meant no ill to the man Thy people were feareful examples of that for how often did their murmuring against thy Ministers end in a departing from thee when they would haue other officers they would haue other gods and still to daies murmuring was to morrowes Idolatrie As their murmuring induced Idolatrie and they relapsed often into both I haue found in my selfe O my God O my God thou hast found it in me and thy finding it hath shewed it to me such a transmigration of sinne as makes mee afraid of relapsing too The soule of sinne for wee haue made sinne immortall and it must haue a soule The soule of sinne is disobedience to thee and when one sinne hath beene dead in mee that soule hath passed into another sinne Our youth dies and the sinnes of our youth with it some sinnes die a violent death and some a naturall pouertie penurie imprisonment banishment kill some sinnes in vs and some die of age many waies wee become vnable to doe that sinne but still the soule liues and passes into another sinne and that that was licentiousnesse growes ambition and that comes to indeuotion and spirituall coldnesse wee haue three liues in our state of sinne and where the sinnes oâ— youth expire those of our middle yeeres enter and those of our age after them This transmigration of sinne found in my selfe makes me afraid O my God of a Relapse but the occasion of my feare is more pregnant â—han so for I haue had I haue multiplied Relapses already Why O my God is a relapse so odious to thee Not so much their murmuring and their Idolatry as their relapsing into those sinnes seemes to affect thee in thy disobedient people They limited the holy one of Israel as â—hou complainest of them That was a murmuring but before thou chargest them with the fault it selfe in the same place thou chargest them with the iterating the redoubling of â—hat fault before the fault was named How oft did they prouoke mee in the Wildernesse and grieue me in the Desart That which brings thee to that exasperation against them as to say that thou wouldest breake thine owne oath rather than leaue them vnpunished They shall not see the land which I sware vnto their fathers was because they had tempted thee ten times infinitely vpon that thou threatnest with that vehemencie if ye do in any wise goe backe know for a certainty God will no more driue out any of these Nations from before you but they shall be snares and traps vnto you and scourges in your sides and thornes in your eies till ye perish No tongue but thine owne O my GOD can expresse thine indignation against a Nation relapsing to Idolatry Idolatry in any Nation is deadly but when the disease is complicated with a relapse a knowledge and a profession of a former recouerie it is desperate And thine anger workes not onely where the euidence is pregnant and without exception so thou saiest when it is said That certaine men in a Citie haue withdrawne others to Idolatrie and that inquirie is made and it is found true the Citie and the inhabitants and the Cattell are to bee destroied but where there is but a suspicion a rumor of such a relapse to Idolatrie thine anger is awakened and thine indignation stirred In the gouernment of thy seruant Iosua there was a voice that Reuben and Gad with those of Manasseh had built a new altar Israel doth not send one to enquire but the whole congregation gathered to goe vp to warre against them and there went a Prince of euery Tribe And they obiect to them not so much their present declination to Idolatry as their Relapse is the iniquity of Peor too little for vs An idolatry formerly committed and punished with the slaughter of twenty foure thousand delinquents At last Reuben and Gad satisfie them that that Altar was not built for Idolatry but built as a patterne of theirs that they might thereby professe themselues to bee of the same profession that they were and so the Army returned without bloud Euen where it comes not so farre as to an actuall Relapse into Idolatry Thou O my GOD becommest sensible of it though thou who seest the heart all the way preuentest all dangerous effects where there was no ill meaning how euer there were occasion of suspicious rumours giuen to thine Israel of relapsing So odious to thee so aggrauating a weight vpon sinne is a relapse But O my