Selected quad for the lemma: sin_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
sin_n	blood_n	great_a	shed_v	3,370	5	9.1200	5	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A76061	A murderer punished and pardoned, or, A true relation of the wicked life, and shameful-happy death of Thomas Savage imprisoned, justly condemned, and twice executed at Ratcliff, for his bloody fact in killing his fellow-servant, on Wednesday, Octob. 28, 1668 / by us who were often with him in the time of his imprisonment in Newgate, at at his execution, Robert Franklin, Thomas Vincent, Thomas Doolitel, James Janeway, Hugh Baker ; to which is annexed a sermon preached at his funeral.	R. A. (Richard Alleine), 1611-1681.; Janeway, James, 1636?-1674.; Franklin, Robert, 1630-1684.	1679 (1679)	Wing A997A; ESTC R42788	47,969	54

blessed Lord God I beseech thee O Lord look down upon me with an eye of pity if it be thy blessed will it is thy infinite mercy that I am on this side the grave and out of Hell O Lord I have deserved to be cast into torments to all Eternity How have I offended thee and run on in fin and thought I could never do enough to abuse thy mercy pardon the sins that I have committed wash that blood from off my soul let not me perish to Eternity It was an horrid crime to shed innocent blood pardon that sin O Lord let the blood of Christ cry more for mercy than the blood of that creature cry for for vengeance O Lord thou hast been merciful to me in giving me time to Repent for ought I know her soul is undone for ever Lord forgive me Lord forgive me I knew not what I did Forgive my Sabbath-breaking Lying Cursing forgive my drunkenness blot them out of the book of thy remembrance turn them away behind thee Lord I have repented of them from my soul that ever I should offend a God so good and so merciful and gracious I do believe on thee and do wholly throw my self upon thee I acknowledge it would be just in thee to damn my Soul but it will be infinite mercy in thee to save me and what free Grace will it be in thee to pardon me It is dreadful to lose the body but how dreadful will it be to lose the Soul to all Eternity Lord let it not be in vain that I had so many instructions O let me not go down to hell let my soul bless and praise thy Name for ever for what thou hast done for me thou hast been at work upon my heart and thou hast helped me to Repent the Lord be praised Lord I desire to be more and more humble under the sence of my sins for they are dreadful there are many souls that have not committed those sins that are now in Hell O what a mercy is it that I am not in those flames in those devouring flames Lord as thou hast spared me here spare me to Eternity Let not my soul perish Lord reveal thy self unto me make known thy love unto me tell me my sins are pardoned tell me that I have an Interest in Christ before I go hence and be seen no more that I might leave some Testimony behind me that I might tell thy Ministers what thou hast done for me and tell thy People what thou hast done for my Soul Lord this will not be onely for my satisfaction but for thy glory Blessed Lord pardon the sins that I am guilty of and take away this cursed base heart of mine break this rocky stony heart in pieces these sins of Murder and Drunkenness c. were in my heart before I thought no eye did see me commit those sins but thou didst see me Lord turn my heart to thee and take away this heart of stone and take away this cursed nature for it was this cursed Nature that brought me to these sins and to this end and I was in danger of loosing my soul to all eternity but Lord though I a great sinner Christ is a great Saviour he is able to save me from my sins though they be never so great I do believe Lord I speak freely from my heart so far as I know my heart I do believe it is my grief I can sorrow no more for my sins which have been the cause of offending thee so long and so much One drop of thy blood sprinkled upon my soul will pardon all my sins Lord cross the black line of my sins with the red line of thy blood I am not able to answer for one vain thought much less for all my horrid crimes Lord save my immortal soul that I might sing praise to thee to all eternity Thou hast pardoned Manasseh that was a great sinner and Mary Magdalen and Paul that were great sinners and the Thief upon the Cross and thy mercies are as great thy mercy and thy love to repenting sinners is not shortned though my sins be great yet thy mercies are greater then my sins Lord be with me in my death then let me have some comfortable assurance of thy love unto my soul of the pardon of my sins do thou be my God and my Guide now and to all eternity Amen This Prayer he put up with much earnestness with great brokenness of heart for sin that all that joyned with him were exceedingly affected and blessed God for the Spirit of Prayer they discerned God had so plentifully poured out upon him After we had some other discourse with him we took our leave of him telling him we purposed to see him again at the place of Execution After two or three hours when the time of his going from Newgate drew near we were willing to return to see him once more there and the rather because one Minister that had not yet been with him was desirous to visit him and then again after some few words with him we asked him to go to prayer again once more saying Now this will be the last time that we shall pray with you in this place And he did perform this duty with great liveliness that now he excelled himself and the nearer he came to his end the more fervently we perceived he prayed but we took notice that in this last duty in Newgate he was much in praising God and blessing God for his mercy to him to our great astonishment After a few words when this duty was over we took some of us our final farewell of him and he expressing his thanks to Gods people for their prayers for him and to the Ministers for their love and pains with him was commended by us to the Grace of God saying ' Thomas The Lord be with you the Lord of Heaven be with you O the Lord of mercy help you and have compassion on you This morning he expressed himself to his Friend H. B. thus Oh my friend we cannot tell how glorious a place Heaven is but if once I get thither and could drop down a Letter to you and tell you of the glorious things I there shall find how would it rejoyce your heart And to his Friend parting with him said I know God loveth me and that I am going to the Kingdom of Heaven The last Speech of Thomas Savage at the place of his Execution at Ratcliff Gentlemen HEre I am come to dye a cursed and ignominious Death and I most justly deserve it for I have Murthered a poor innocent Creature and for ought I know have not only murthered her body but if God had no more mercy of her soul then I had of her body she is undone to all Eternity so that I deserve not only death from Men but Damnation from God I would have you all that look upon me take warning by me the first sin I began with was Sabbath-breaking

A Murderer Punished AND PARDONED OR A True Relation of the Wicked Life and Shameful-happy Death of Thomas Savage Imprisoned Justly condemned and Twice Executed at Ratcliff for his Bloody Fact in Killing his fellow-servant on Wednesday Octob. 28. 1668. By us who were often with him in the time of his Imprisonment in Newgate and at his Execution Robert Franklin Thomas Vincent Thomas Doolitel James Janeway Hugh Baker To which is annexed a Sermon Preached at his Funeral The Twelfth Edition with the Addition of the leud life and shameful death of Hannah Blay who was condemned and executed for being guilty of the bloody murther committed by Thomas Savage With other new Additions London Printed for P. P. in the Year 1679. To the READER IN the following Narrative you have a Relation of the bloody murther committed by T. Savage with an account of the wonderful mercies of God to his poor soul after the committing so bloody a sin To which is added a short relation of the carriage and Behaviour of that vile Strumpet Hannah Blay during the time of her being in Newgate to her Execution which though it hath nothing in it worthy to be related yet she being an instrumental cause of that bloody resolution was thought fit to be inserted that she may remain as an example of shame to all leud women and a severe example of Gods justice upon such cruel monsters who are not contented with endangering the soul of such ignorant young men that have not the fear of God before their eyes with their abominable Whoredomes and Adulteries but as it were to make sure of destroying both body and soul together by adding to their former sins the guilt of shedding innocent blood And as you have a wonderful instance of Gods free-grace to the soul of T. S. so the foulness of his fact the danger of damning his soul and the twice shameful execution which he suffred may be a means to preserve all young men and Apprentices from being guilty of the like fact And as a help to you herein you are advised to be very careful what company you keep That you addict not your selves to drinking or gaming or company-keeping which is the ruin of many young men who by getting a habit of keeping company or other Vices are to often drawn to purloin from their masters to maintain them in their extravagancies by which means they do not only run the hazard of exposing their bodies to publique-shame if they be discovered to the great grief and even heart breaking of their friends when they hear of their ill courses but the wrath of God and eternal damnation of their poor souls as you may see in the Narrative of T. S. who first began with Company-keeping from Company-keeping to Whoring from Whoring to Thieving and murther And lastly be careful to spend the Lords-day and all thy other spare time in the service of God as reading Praying hearing the Word preached which may be a means to preserve thee from the guilt of sins of this nature and other sins likewise if thou apply thy self seriously to this work But whiles I am advising of others I my self commit an error in exceeding my ●onds being confined to a Page I rest A real well-wisher to the eternal happiness of your immortal soul BLood doth cry aloud the blood of man when violently shed by cruel hands for private revenge or covetousness or the satisfaction of some such base lust doth cry as far from Earth to Heaven for vengeance And however some horrible murder may be secretly plotted and as secretly effected yet seldom are they long unpunished even in this world for besides that sometimes the guilty accusing consciences of such Persons who have committed this heinous crime do so inwardly lash and torment them that they can find no rest until they have made discovery of the Fact with their own mouth there is the all-seeing eye of sin revenging God which doth find them and a strange hand of his Providence which doth often Follow them and entangle them in their steps when they are flying and seeking some hiding-place which doth as it were bind them before they are in chains and deliver them before they are aware into the hands of Justice to be punished But there is another blood which doth send forth a louder cry namely the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ which was shed for the sins of men which speaketh better things than the blood of Abel crying for mercy and forgiveness This blood hath such prevalency and vertue that when it is applyed by Faith unto the most notorious Malefactor guilty of blood as well as other wickedness it doth out-cry and drown the voice of blood and every other sin and washeth the most impure Soul dyed in sin unto a scarlet and crimson hue This blood we hope was sprinkled upon the Conscience of this Murtherer who had a little before embrued his hands in the blood of his Fellow-servant for having given such evidence of his sincere repentance and true faith unto several of us Ministers and other Christians that were with him before and at his Execution we hope though he were justly punished with the first death by the hand of man for his crime that through infinite free Grace and Christs blood he hath escaped the second death and wrath of God in Hell The narrative may give the same satisfaction to others which the Publishers hereof have received which is as followeth THomas Savage born in the Parish of Giles in the Fields he was put out Apprentice to Mr. Collins Vintner at the Ship-Tavern in Ratcliff where he lived about the space of one year and three quarters in which time he manifested himself to all that knew him to be a meer Monster in sin in all that time he never once knew what it was to hear one whole Sermon but used to go in at one door and out at the other and accounted them fools that could spare so much time from sin as 2 or 3 hours on a Lords day to spend in the Lords service He spent the Sabbath commonly at the Ale-house or rather at a base house with that vile Strumpet Hannah Blay which was the cause of his ruine he was by a young man now gone to Sea first enticed to go drink there and after that he went alone and now and then used to bring her a Bottle or two of Wine which satisfied not her wicked desires but she told him if he would frequent her house he must bring money with him he told her often he could bring none but his Masters and he never wronged his Master of two-pence in his life still she enticed him to take it privately He replyed he could not do it because the Maid was always at home with him Hang her Jade saith this impudent slut knock her brains out and I will receive the money this she many times said and that day that he committed the murther he was with her

whereby I got acquaintance with bad company and so we went to the Ale-house from the Ale-house to the bawdy house there I was perswaded to rob my Master as also to murther this poor innocent creature for which I am come to this shameful end I was drawn aside I say by ill company pray take heed of that for it will not only bring your bodies to the grave but your soul to hell have a care of neglecting the Sabbaths it is that which hath not only brought my body to the grave but my soul in danger of eternal torments And try the ways of God for the Lord be praised I have found so much of excellency and sweetness in Gods ways that I bless God that ever I came into a Prison And now though I am leaving this world I know I shall go to a better place for I have repented from my soul for all my sins not because I am to dye for them but to see that I should do that whereby I should deserve Hell ten thousand times over and so dishonour God Now the Lord have mercy on my Soul The Prayer of THOMAS SAVAGE at the place of Execution O Most merciful and for ever blessed Lord God I beseech thee look down upon my poor immortal soul which now is taking its flight into another world which now is ready to appear before thy barr Lord I beseech thee prepare me for it and receive my soul into the Arms of thy mercy and though my body die and I come to die this shameful death yet let my soul live with thee for ever Lord pardon all the horrid sins that I have committed the Sabbath breaking Lying Swearing Cursing Vncleanness and all the rest of my sins that ever I have committed Lord give me a new heart and give me faith that I may lay hold and throw my self fully and wholly upon thee enable me O Lord give me saving repentance that I may come to thy Bar and thence be recieved into glory let me not be a prey to Devils to all eternity let not my soul perish though my body die let my soul live Lord let me not be shut out from thy presence and let not all the Prayers and Tears and Counsels and instructions that have been made and shed on my behalf be in vain pity my poor soul Lord my immortal soul Lord it would be just with thee to cast me into everlasting burning I have been a great sinner but Christ is a great Saviour O Lord thou hast pardoned great sinners and thou canst do it Lord and Lord wilt thou not do it Lord let me not be a fire-brand in Hell and a prey to Devils to all eternity let me not then be shut up with Devils and damned souls when my soul takes its flight into another World Lord I have repented for what I have done from the bottom of my heart I have repented and Lord if thou wouldst damn me thou wouldst be just but how infinitely more would it be for the glory of thy free grace to save such a sinner as I am good Lord pour down thy Spirit upon my soul O tell me that I have an interest in Christs blood good Father good Lord before I go hence Lord I am willing I am willing to leave this world I can prize thee above all there is nothing I can prize like to thee wilt thou not recieve my soul recieve it into thy arms and say Come thou blessed of my Father good Father for Jesus Christs sake pity my poor soul for pities sake Lord it is not my Prayers or Tears will save my soul but if ever I am saved it must be through free-grace and the blood of Christ and if there be not enough in that Blood Lord I am willing to be Damned Lord look down upon my poor soul and though I have been such a sinner thou art able to pardon me and wash me apply one drop of thy blood to my soul Lord my immortal soul that is more worth then Ten Thousand Worlds It is true Lord I confess I have taken a great deal of pleasure in sin I have run on in sin and could not invent where to go on thy day and was wont to study into what place and into what company I might go upon the Sabbath day forgive me Lord wash me receive me into thy arms O Lord Oh for one glimp of mercy Lord if thou wilt please to reveal thy self to me I shall tell it to all that behold me It is a mercy Lord that I am not in Hell and that thou showest me the bitterness of sin before I come into Hell it is a mercy Lord that I have had the Prayers converse and instructions of so many of thy Ministers and People Lord recieve my soul one smile Lord one word of comfort for Jesus sake Oh let me not go out of this world let not my soul perish though I killed a poor innocent Creature Lord deal not with me as I dealt with her but pity me pity me for Jesus Christ sake Amen One asked him in the cart Well now Thomas how is it with your soul What sense have you of God's love He answered Sir I thank God through infinite mercy I find God loves me and that now I can chearfully go After his Cap was over his Eyes he used these Expressions Lord Jesus recieve my Spirit Lord one smile Good Lord one word of comfort for Christs sake though death make a separation between my soul and body let nothing separate between thee and my soul to all eternity Good Lord hear me Good Father hear me O Lord Jesus receive my soul VVhilst he did thus pathetically express himself to the people especially to God in prayer there was a great moving upon the affections of those who stood by and many tears were drawn from their eyes by his melting speeches All this was the more remarkable in this young man being under sixteen years of age when he was first apprehended After he was turned off the Cart he strugled for a while heaving up his body which a Young man his friend perceiving to put him quickly out of his pain struck him with all his might on the breast several times together then no motion was perceived in him and hanging some considerable time after that and as to all outward appearance dead insomuch as one said to another friend of his namely Mr. B. Now he is in Eternity and the people beginning to move away the Sheriff commanded him to be cut down and being receiv'd in the arms of some of his friends he was conveyed by them into a house not far distant from the place of Execution where being laid upon a Table unto the astonishment of the beholders he began to stir and breath and rattle in his throat and it was evident his life was whole in him from the Table he was carried to a bed in the same House where he breathed more strongly and opened his

in the morning and she made him drunk with burnt Brandy and he wanted one Groat to pay of his reckoning she then again perswaded him to knock the Maid on the head and she would receive the money he going home between twelve and one of the clock his Master standing at the Street-door did not dare to go in that way but climbed over a back-door and commeth into the Room where his Fellow-servants were at Dinner O saith the Maid to him Sirrah you have been now at this Bawdy-House you will never leave till you are undone by them He was much vexed at her and while he was at Dinner the Devil entered so strong into him that nothing would satisfie him but he must kill her and no other way but with the Hammer to which end when his master was gone with all the rest of his Family to Church leaving only the maid and this boy at home he goeth into the Bar fetcheth the Hammer and taketh the Bellows in his hand and sitteth down by the fire and there knocketh the bellows with the Hammer the Maid saith to him Sure the boy is mad Sirrah what do you make this noise for He said nothing but went from the Chair and lay along in the Kitchin window and knocked with the Hammer there and on a sudden threw the Hammer with such force at the maid that hitting her on the head she fell down presently screaking out then he taketh up the Hammer three times and did not dare to strike her any more at last the Devil was so great with him that he taketh the Hammer and striketh her many blows with all the force he could and even rejoyced that he had got the victory over her which done he immediately taketh the Hammer and with it strikes at the Cupboard Door in his masters Chamber which being but slit-Deal presently flew open and thence he taketh out a Bag of Money and putting it upon his arm under his cloak he went out at a back-door straight-way to this base house again when he came thither the Slut would fain have seen what he had under his Cloak and knowing what he had done would very fain have had the Money he gave her half a Crown and away he went without any remorse for what he had done Going over a Stile he sat down to rest himself and then began to think with himself Lord what have I done and he would have given ten thousand worlds he could have recalled the blow After this he was in so much horrour that he went not one step but he thought every one he met came to take him He got that Night to Green-wich and lay there telling the people of the house that he was to go down to Gravesend that night he rose and walked about and knew not what to do Conscience so flew in his face The Mistress of the house percieving the Lad to have money and not sealed up said I wish this Lad came by this money honestly The next morning he going away towards Woolliedge the Mistress of the house could not be satisfied but sent for him back and told him Sweetheart I fear you came not by this money honestly Yes indeed Mistress saith he I did for I am carrying of it down to Gravesend to my Master a Wine Cooper VVe live upon London-bridge and if you please to send any one to my Mistress I will leave my money with you So there were some people going to London and he writ a Note to send to his Mistress and he left the Money with the woman of the House and went his way wandring toward VVoolliedge and there was in the Ship-yard about which time news came to Greenwich of the Murther that was committed at Ratcliff by a youth upon his Fellow-servant and that a bag of Money was taken away the Mistress of the House forthwith concluded that sureit was the same Youth that was at her house and that that was the Money whereupon she sent men out presently to seek him who found him in an Ale-house where he had called for a pot of beer and was laid down with his head on the Table and fallen asleep one of the men calling him by his name Tom saith he Did you not live at Ratcliff He said Yes And did you not murther your fellow-servant He confessed it And you took so much money from your Master he acknowledged all then said they You must go along with us He said Yes with all my heart So they went forthwith to Greenwich to the house where he lay that night where when he came he met his Master with some friends and when his Master spake to him of it he was not much affected at first but after a little while burst out into many tears thence he was conveyed to the Justice at Ratcliff where he fully confessed the Fact again and by him was committed close Prisoner in the Gaol of Newgate where Mr. H. B. who after some acquaintance with him had this preceeding Narrative from his own Mouth came to see and speak with him and he seemed but little sensible of what he had done Are you said he the person that committed the murther upon the maid at Ratcliff He said Yes O what think you of your condition What do you think will become of your precious Sou you have by this Sin not only brought your body to the Grave but your Soul to hell without Gods infinite mercy Were you not troubled for the Fact when you did it Not for the present Sir said he but soon after I was when I began to think with my self what I had done The next time he asked him whether he were sorry for the Fact He said wringing his hands and striking his breast with tears in his eyes Yes Sir for it cuts me to the heart to think that I should take away the life of a poor innocent Creature and that is not all but for any thing I know I have sent her soul to Hell O how can I think to appear before God's barr when she shall stand before me and say Lord this wretch took away my life and gave me not the least space that I might turn to thee he gave me no warning at all Lord. O then what will become of me Soon after the imprisonment of this Thomas Savage in New gate Upon the desire of one of his Friends Mr. R. F. and T. V. went to him in the prison and had liberty with much readiness from the Keepers to discourse with him They asked him if he were the person that had murthered the maid He answered that he was they did then open to him the heinous nature of that sin endeavouring to set it home upon his Conscience telling him of the express Law of God Thou shalt not Kill and the express threatnings That whosoever sheddeth mans blood by man shall his blood be shed They spake to him of the Law of the Land and the punishment of Death which

Gods Truth also stood betwixt him and eternal happiness and told him that I spake it with reverence that the Holy God must be a Lyar or else he dying in the guilt of these sins must be certainly and eternally damned I asked him what do you think how will you escape the damnation of hell and the great wrath that is come You have heard what God saith what do you say what course will you take and what means will you use that you may not according to God's threatning be cast amongst Devils into Eternal devouring flames to this at present he made no reply but did often shake his head and lifted up his eyes towards Heaven Next I endeavoured to bring him to a sight and sense of the corruption of his nature and of the sinfulness of his heart and told him all those sins were in his heart before they were actually committed and turned him to the saying of Christ in the 15th of Matthew ver 19. For out of the heart proceedeth evil thoughts Murders Adulteries Fornications Thefts False-witnesses Blasphemies and told him that in his repentance for those sins he must not only lay to heart and be grieved for the outward acts but lament and bewail the inward principle of corruption whereby he was so strongly inclined to such horrid abominations according to the example of David after his sins of Adultery and Murther in his confession did follow them up to the rise and original from whence they did spring Psal 15. 5. Behold I was shapen in iniquity and in sin did my Mother conceive me By this time I perceived some workings of heart within him and that he was in some measure sensible of his lost estate and by his deportment and carriage to be cast down not knowing what to do I was unwilling to leave him without some grounds of hope that it may be he might be saved that there was a possibility that he might obtain pardoning mercy and be delivered from that great damnation that was due to him for his great transgressions I began to open to him the readiness of Christ the fulness and sufficiency of Christ to save the greatest sinners and that God I hoped in mercy to his soul had sent me one of his Embassadors to offer him a pardon and Eternal life if he were but willing to accept of Christ upon the terms of the Gospel for his Lord and Saviour and did encourage and assure him upon repentance and faith in Christ there was mercy yet for him though a Murderer from these Scriptures Isa 1. 18. Come now and let us reason together saith the Lord though your sins be as scarlet they shall be as white as snow and though they be as red as crimson they shall be as wool As I opened to him the great mercy of God in Christ toward Sinners dyed in grain that were sinners of a scarlet colour that had committed heinous transgressions he brake forth into tears and wept plentifully at the tydings of mercy and possibility that such a one as he might be saved Besides I turned him to some Scripture-promises that God would certainly forgive his sins and save his Soul if he could repent and get Faith in Christ Such as Prov. 28. 13. He that confesseth and forsaketh his sin shall find mercy and Isa 55. 7. Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts and let him return unto the Lord and he will have mercy upon him and to our God for he will abundantly pardon This Scripture he diligently heeded and turned it down in his Bible and these two Scriptures the night before he suffered amongst others he alledged as the grounds of his hopes of mercy I also gave him some Scripture instances of great Sinners that had obtained mercy turned him to the example of Manasseh 2 Chron. 33. to that of Mary Magdalen Luke 7. 37 38. to that of the Jews Acts 2. 37 38. that were guilty of the blood of Christ that had murdered the Son of God a greater murther than which could not be committed and yet upon Repentance and Faith many of them were pardoned and saved To that of Paul 1 Tim. 1. 13 14 15 16. shewed him how God had set up Paul as a pattern of Free-grace towards great sinners for the encouragement of such that though guilty of great sins afterwards should believe To all these he hearkned very carefully and took notice of the places of Scripture for his meditation after I left him And last of all I endeavoured to set before him Jesus Christ as the only Remedy and Saviour for his Soul and shewed him the insufficiency of all his Duties Prayers and Tears to get off the guilt of the least sin that if he could shed a thousand tears of blood for any one vain thought it would be no better than puddle water to justifie or to save him Much discourse I had with him at this time besides what is here inserted and several other times when I went to visit him in Newgate which I willingly omit because this book should not swell to too great a bulk After all I went to prayer with him in which Duty he was much dissolved into tears he seemed to me and his faithful Friend that was most with him above all others to be very earnest in Prayer and with weeping eyes to beg for pardon and for Converting Grace and Christ to be his Saviour which was much insisted on in the prayer that was made for him After which advising him to consider of what I had said for that time I took my leave of him The next time after this Discourse that Mr. Baker came to him he Enquired how it was with him he said what T. D. had said did very much startle him that he knew not what to reply and cryed out very much of the heinousness of his sins that he should commit that horrid Sin of Murder and knew not what to do for that left a deep impression upon his heart that God must be a Lyar or else he in that condition of impenitency must be damned yet he laid hold upon that promise that was unfolded to him That if a sinner turned from his wicked ways God would abundantly pardon And afterwards read on the verse that followed Isa 55. 8. For my thoughts are not your thoughts neither are your ways my ways saith the Lord. Upon which considering said Men cry out for death and vengeance no mercy to be had from men but Gods thoughts to a repenting sinner were life for he delighteth not in the death of a sinner About four or five days after this he was puzled about his performing of Duties and resting only upon Christ for Salvation for he was tempted if he performed duties to rest upon them or to let them alone and leave them off if he must rest only upon Christ At which time H. B. coming to him enquired how it was with him now and how he hoped

me Sometimes he tempts me to delay telling me that it is time enough for me to think of Repentance when I am Condemned and that God is a merciful God and sometimes he tempted me to Despair telling me that it was impossible that so monstrous a sinner as I had been should be saved But blessed be God that he made me to think that these were but the Devils Temptations although I have been sadly hurried with them for some days but that which did most fill me with terror was the frequent fears of the Devil 's appearing personally to me which did so exceedingly trouble me in Prayer so that I could say nothing when I kneeled down but was fain to set the Candle down before me and durst not look one way nor other for fear I should see him and my thoughts have been so vain many times when you have been reading to me that I have scarce heard a word of what you said A Discourse betwixt H. B. and T. S. Prisoner in Newgate after some Friends went away dissatisfied fearing he had not a sense of his sin c. H. B. asking him how it was with him He replied It is the grief of my Soul that I should be no more affected I think I have the most rocky stony heart in the world if ever there was an heart of Iron I have one it is not fit to be called an heart To have others come and pray with me and instruct me and see how they are affected with my condition and yet I not at all affected with my own condition Oh it is the grief of my soul to see it so and yet as soon as Ministers and good people are gone and I walk about and consider oh it melts me and breaketh my heart in pieces to think I can mourn for sin and grieve for sin no more when Gods people are with me because it causeth them to think that I am not sensible of my sin though blessed be God I am in some measure sensible of the evil of my sins and it is the grief of my soul to think how I have dishonoured God and abused his Mercy and spurned against his Mercy and Patience After this they both spent some time in Prayer and H. B. asked him how it was with him now He said I find so much sweetness in prayer although I cannot find God loveth me that to think I am not Cursing and swearing as others are but be confessing my sin my very tears trickle down my Cheeks for joy sometimes I find my heart so dead and dull in duty that I know not what to say in Prayer at other times I find my heart so full and so much affected in Duty that I could wish I might never rise off my knees The night before the Sessions H. B. coming to him asked him if it was not terrible to him to think of appearing before the Barr of men he answered methinks when I consider seriously of it what a light poor thing mans Barr is in comparison of Gods Barr yet mans Barr is enough to daunt one to hear them say Take him Gaoler tye him up but to appear before Gods Barr who knoweth all the sins that ever I committed he saw all my secret sins and for God to say Take him Gaoler take him Devil shut him up in the Dungeon of Hell Oh! that is enough I believe to make the stoutest heart in the World to tremble for there is no recalling that sentence and I believe there are many go out of this Prison as I saw formerly three that went to be hanged and they were almost drunk and did sing all the way they went but oh their note was soon changed when they came to stand before Gods Barr. The morning before he went to the Sessions H. B. and the Prisoner spent some time in prayer the Prisoner in his prayer did earnestly beg of God that he would keep him from those temptations he might be exposed unto by bad company After this he was taken down to the Sessions house but was not called because the Jury of Middlesex did not sit that day At night H. B. came to him again and asking how it was with him he answered he found it no easie thing to be a true Christian I thought before I came to Prison that reading a Chapter now and then and saying the Lords Prayer and the Creed at night when I went to bed would have saved me though many times I was asleep before I had half done but now I find it no such easie thing to get to Heaven nay I find it the hardest thing in the World for my Prayers and Tears and Duties if I could fall upon my knees and never rise off from them while I live they would not save me for all this is but my duty but I now know there is merit enough in the blood of Christ to save me and he did earnestly beg of God in Prayer that God would wash his Soul in the blood of Christ and blot out all his sins out of the book of his remembrance and turn them behind his back though I as earnestly beg they might be all spread before my face that I might have a more humble and throughly broken heart for them Lord one drop of that blood is enough to wash away all my sins And so after some conference H. B. left him for that night who heard from one that was with him that night that he spent that time most in Prayer and Reading The second morning in the time of the Sessions Mr. Baker that was a careful friend for the good of his Soul went to the Sessions House where he found him well and in good Frame and continued with him for the space of two or three hours that morning after which time Mr. Baker was from him to hear the Tryal of the Person that was arraigned and afterward executed for the Fire upon the house burnt down in Mincing-Lane for the space of half an hour or thereabout in which time in company of other Prisoners he was much distempered with something that he had drank amongst them which did take from him his understanding that he was not his own man we judge that though this did cast a blemish upon the profession that he had made after he came to Newgate it was not a voluntary act but some surprisal or design of the other upon him partly because the quantity was far less than what at other times he could drink without any disturbance to his head A Friend also heard Hannah the Strumpet that enticed him to his former wickedness say Others have made you drunk to day but I will make you drunk to morrow But afterwards he was afraid to drink in their company but rather denied to take what was necessary for his refreshment The Prisoners were much against his accusing of that Harlot and did much perswade him to take something to chear his Spirits and when T. D. was