may therefore have grace whereby I may serve thee acceptably with reverence and godly fear and be cloathed not only with the Righteousness but Humility of Christ be low and mean base and vile in my own eyes I am not worthy to be called thy Son make me as thy meanest servants the lowest room at thy Table give my sins thy pardon my soul thy grace my person and service thy acceptance in thy beloved and what thou dost convey seal to me by what I am to receive Without Knowledge the Heart Saving Knowledge the duty cannot be good but the Covenant thou hast made with thy people is they shall all know thee from the least to the greatest Oh let me come with knowledge of the nature necessity use and ends of the Ordinance Direct me how to behave my self at and meditate upon those Divine Mysteries that I may not be a blind offerer nor bring a blind offering but offer unto thee a living sacrifice holy acceptable reasonable service that I may receive with understanding discern the Lords Body look into the Mysteries of the Sacrament lest not knowing the meaning Ifeel not the comfort of it but be alienated estranged from thee through the ignorance that is in me That I may eat the Passeover with bitter herbs Godly Sorrow give me a deep sense of my own vileness and unworthiness take away this heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh that I may loath my self in my own sight for mine iniquities and for mine abominations be filled with shame and sorrow hatred and indignation against my self for my offending so good and gracious so loving and bountiful a Father Redeemer and Sanctifier That I may look upon him whom I have pierced and mourn for him with detestation and holy revenge against those my sins that cost him so dear were the cause as well as any other mens of his death and would have cost me damnation abominating them as the scourges and thorns nails and spear thar Afflicted Crucified my dearest Saviour the Lord of Glory The day of mourning for him is at hand oh that I may then slay my most beloved lusts be revenged on them for it and for their endeavouring to rob me of my spiritual Birth-right my eternal Blessedness Let me call to mind and be truly sensible of every sin and of the evil of it and of thine and my Saviour's love manifested to me in his sufferings There where he appears most Bloody let Sin oppear most deadly that I may receive abroken bleeding Christ with a broken contrite Heart a Sacrifice thou wilt not â—espise O God prepare in me that being weary and heavy laden I may be capable of his refreshment being supled in my own tears I may be fitter to be washt in his blood And seeing thou givest thy self only to thy Disciples and Friends New Obedience work in me fresh purposes of amendment that being willing and obedient I may eat the good of the Ordinance Let there be conformity that there may be Communion let me not put that new wine into an old impure but new Heart I cannot Eat the Passeover and stay in Egypt still let me do it with my loyns girt ready to march toward the Promised Land Thou confirmest thy Covenant and expectest I restipulate with thee that I cast out and execrate the old leaven Seeing the Covenant of Grace sealed let me seal a Covenant of Obedience seeing by the merit of Christs death I am purchas'd to be thine by the power of it let me be dead to sin and both receive life and change my life let me bring a wounded heart to and carry wounded sins from thy Table dye to sin seeing Christ dyed for sin let me take him by way of surety and give up my self to him by way of surrender receive him as a Saviour and submit to him as a Prince set my self apart for thee on that Feast of Dedication Let me approach with the most sincere fixed resolutions of an intire resignation and receive such grace and strength from thee as may inable me faithfully to perform them that I may find my self in the number of those to whom my Saviour allows such special manifestations of himself by lifting up the light of his countenance upon them by intimating his good will and love unto them his fulness and righteousness for them as Shows his constant abode with them Let no prophane or unseasonable Thoughts enter into my mind while I am about that Holy Solemnity Purity let me lay aside leave behind me and be kept from all carnal earthly vain Imaginations drive away all drowsiness carelesness slothfulness idle apprehensions that I may wholly contemplate upon and give up my self unto him who sacrific'd his Soul and Body for me and come before thee with such Reverential Hungering Holy Affections as is due to the hand that reacheth to the seal that secureth to the food that strengthneth that spiritual life in us without which we can never be happy O thou that callest me unto thee let thy compassion pitty my vileness let thy mercy pardon my sinfulness let thy grace cleanse my filthiness let thy wisdom enlighten my darkness let thy strength support my weakness adorn me with the wedding garment the righteousness of thy Son and holiness of thy Spirit that all my nakedness may be covered and my great deformities hid from thine eyes pardon me by thy mercy that I may receive thy grace and fit me by thy grace that I may receive thy mercy help me so to accuse my self that thou may'st acquit me so to judge and condemn my self that thou may'st absolve me so to exercise a holy revenge upon my self that thou may'st spare me Let thy Spirit be thy Harbinger to provide entertainment for thy Son in my Soul that he may find â—t swept of sin and garnisht with grace make it day in my Soul by hopes and desires before I there receive the Sun of Righteousness Faith is thy own gift as well as Christ Faith I believe Lord help my unbelief that I may besprinkle my soul and Conscience with his blood not only look upon and remember but close in with and receive him there tendred Eat his flesh and drink his blood apply him as taking on him our nature and giving it as a ransom for sin That I may not stagger at the promise through unbelief but be strong in faith giving Glory to God being fully perswaded that what thou hast promised thou wilt perform When I see Bread and Wine upon the Table let me see Christ there as a feast in token of my reconciliation with thee and on the Cross as a Sacrifice offering up his Body and blood to thee observing the Bread broken let me see Chrirst crucified for and offering himself unto me upon the Wine pouring out let me behold how his blood was poured forth for my sins As I receive Bread and Wine for bodily sustenance
ratifie and confirm every Article of these Indentures and do actually deliver into thy hand this glorious Charter with all its Royalties and Priviledges as your own for ever Amen Hallelujah Oh be it unto thy servant according to thy Word But who am I and what is my Fathers house that thou hast brought me hither What shall thy servant say unto thee I am silenced with wonder and must sit down in astonishment for I cannot utter the least tittle of thy praise Oh what meaneth the height of this strange love that the Lord of all should enter into Covenant with his dust and take in to his bosom the viperous brood that have so often spit their venom in his face I am not worthy to wash the feet of the servants of my Lord how much less to be one with thee and to be made partaker of those blessed priviledges setled upon thy Sons but for thy goodness sake and according to thine own heart hast thou done this even so Father because it seemed good unto thee Wonder oh Heavens and be moved oh Earth at this great thing Rejoyce oh Angels shout oh Seraphims strike up ye Celestial Quires help Heaven and Earth sing unto the Lord oh ye his Saints prepare an Epithalamium oh all ye Friends of the Bridegroom be ready with the Marriage song for Heaven and Earth God and Man are reconciled a Covenant of Peace entered and sealed Jehovah hath betrothed himself to his hopeless Captives and owns the Marriage before all the world he is become one with us and we with him he hath bequeathed to us Heaven and Earth with the fulness thereof and kept back left us nothing to ask at his hands but what he hath already freely granted Oh had I the tongues of Men and Angels all were too little for my single turn the whole Quire is not sufficient to utter his praise And will the Lord be mine hath he laid aside the controversie and concluded a peace will he receive his Rebel to mercy and open his door to his Prodigal I will bow my self before his footstool and say Oh Lord I have heard thy words and do here lay hold on thy Covenant I subscribe to thy Conditions and close with my Mediator I accept thy kindness I adventure my self upon thy fidelity and trust my whole happiness here hereafter upon thy promises Oh my God I subject my whole Soul unto thee Oh my Rock in thee will I build all my hopes and confidence Oh staff of my life strength of my Soul Life of my Joys and the joy of my Life I will sit and sing under thy shadow with great delight and glory in thy Salvation I here take thee at thy word thou God of Truth thou requirest but my consent and acceptance and here thou hast it in token whereof I receive this pledge thou hast left me believing thou wilt establish for ever thy word unto thy servant and do as thou hast said In this blood of thine oh Saviour I believe I receive it as mine I thirstily drink down and heartily apply with a comfortable expectation of all those blessed benefits purchased secured sealed by it I am more loathsom and abominable then the croaking Toad or most venomous Serpent but This Blood was shed to make me pretious before thee which I durst not have thought but that I hear thee say since thou wast precious in my sight thou hast been honourable and I have loved thee And oh how truely mayst thou call us a dear e precious people who are bought with that Blood a drop of which is of worth to purchase Heaven and Earth I owe the suffering of the penalty due for breaking thy Law violating thy Covenant and wronging thy Justice But was not this Blood shed for our good and in our stead hath not our surety made full satisfaction undergone the curse of our sins born them all in his own Body upon the tree endur'd as much as they deserved as thy Justice demanded was he not once offered up to bear the sins of many became he not subject to the Law for us 〈◊〉 our nature and representatively in our stead setting us right with reconciling us again to thee hath he not made satisfaction for the injury we had done thee as our Judge and performed that service we owed thee as our Maker Is not â—he Creditor satisfied when the debt is â—aid will thy Justice suffer thee to deâ—and the same debt twice of the surety â—nd debtor is not thy wrath appeased â—ith him made so miserable a spectable 〈◊〉 dear unto thee is not the least drachm â—f this Blood of God of greater value then Sea of mine of value to ransom as â—any worlds of men as men in this a â—ufficient satisfaction for all my sins an â—ll-sufficient price for my redemption â—eing justified freely by his Grace through â—he Redemption that is in Jesus Christ â—hom God hath set forth to be apropitiaâ—â—on through Faith in his blood to declare â—â—is righteousness for the remission of sins â—hat are past through the forbearance of God to declare I say his righteousness â—hat he might be just and the justifier of â—im that believeth in Jesus If we confess â—ur sins he is faithful and just to forgive â—â—s our sins and to cleanse us from all unâ—â—gh teousness I am guilty of many hainous sins aâ—ainst love and light mercies and Judgâ—ents my own conscience and the â—â—ght of nature and without shedding of â—ood is no remission But here is that which procures it for and seals the promise of it to us to the praise of the glory of thy grace thou hast made us accepted in the Beloved once in the end of the world he hath appeared to put away sin by the Sacrifice of himself in whom we have Redemption through his Blood even the forgiveness of sins Thy word assures it to all that take him for their Saviour which I find my self by thy grace enabled and thou hast bound thy wâ—â—â— with thy oath and to both added thy Sacraments as seals this threefold cord cannot be broken At the day of Judgment thou wilt own thy hand and seal anâ— solemnly acquit me whom thou noâ— pardonest by thy deed of gift the Gospel there is no condemnation to them that aâ— in Christ Jesus I am naturally and by evil works at 〈◊〉 distance from at enmity with thee an 〈◊〉 my unto thee But God was in Christ reconciling the world unto himself hâ—â— Blood was given to make an Atonemeâ—â— for our souls thy wrath is turned from 〈◊〉 thou art become propitious to believer Christ our Passeover is Sacrificed for us the propitiation Propitiatory Sacrificeâ— â—or our sins that thou mightest pass over â—nd look upon us with a pleasing aspect â—â—e satisfied for sin and pacified to sinners â—n expiated and thou appeased and we 〈◊〉 well ingratiated brought into favour â—f enemies made friends as pardoned â—aving made up the breach and made â—eace through the blood
Search my Soul so to the bottom that none of my wounds may fester but be all discovered and cured consider from whence I am fallen before and since the last Communion and repent and O that I may be so sensible of my sin and misery that I may be truly apprehensive of and thankful for infinite love and mercy I dare not presume to compass thine Altar most holy Lord before I have washed my hands in Innocency and purified my heart by Repentance and Faith in the blood of my Redeemer I will now therefore call my sins to remembrance and set them in order before mine eyes and remember mine own evil ways and my doings which have not been good and loath my self in my own sight for my iniquities and for my abominations O I am not able to reckon up or remember my innumerable breaches of thy most holy Commandments The 1. By not knowing acknowledging thinking remembring chusing believing esteeming adoring loving desiring fearing obeying of trusting joying in acquainting my self with not demeaning my self towards thee as God and my God but preferring sin self Satan the world any thing before thy self The 2. By mis-apprehensions gross conceits of thee not setting my whole delight in reposing all my confidence on expecting all my happiness from addressing all my complaints prayers praises unto thee not worshipping thee as to manner and means agreeable to thy word The 3. By not acknowledging or effectually remembring and delighting to speak of thee as I have had occasion to make thy praise glorious or doing it irreverently dealing falsly in my Covenant with thee not vindicating thy Honour not grieving for thy Dishonour weariness of thy commands non-observance distrust misapplication of thy providences unthankfulness for great mercies dejection impatience under small crosses insensibleness incorrigibleness under judgments and afflictions not using thy Name Attributes Ordinances Works every thing whereby thou may'st be known as is required The 4. By unmindfulness beforehand to prevent or avoid whatsoever might distract in the duties of the Sabbath not preparing my self not resting from needless thoughts words actions mis-spending it in idleness and vanity not performing publick and private duties of Prayer Reading Hearing Examination wheting thy Law upon my heart and others contemplating thy Word and Works with that care reverence sincerity spirtualness profit delight as I ought not calling the Sabbath a Delight Holy of the Lord Honorable The 5. By not behaving my self answerable to my several Relations with all due reverence and respect to my Natural Ecclesiastical Political Parents in heart word behaviour prayer thanksgiving for Superiours covering their infirmities in love not admonishing and encouraging Inferiours in well-doing not by a grave wise holy exemplary carriage procuring glory to thee and preserving the honour and authority thou hast put upon me not regarding the dignity and worth of my Equals or rejoycing in their gifts advancement prosperity as my own The 6. By sinful anger hatred secret grudges injurious thoughts excessive passions distracting cares immoderate use of diet labour rest recreation reviling saddening provoking grieving speeches falling short in maintaining mutual Friendship and in following peace with all men sowing discord among Brethren concealing their dangers unprofitable conversation quenching suppressing holy suggestions preferring things of time before eternity or by whatsoever may tend not to the health but prejudice of my own or others Soul or Bodies not weeping with them that weep being sensless hard-hearted unaffected at publick evils and others miseries The 7. By unchaste thoughts purposes affections looks company words actions or listening to them not labouring to quench my fleshly concupisence by watching over my senses heart and ways not shunning all occasions to or acts of uncleanness in or with my self or others not keeping my bodie and soul from all filthiness of flesh and spirit but making my heart a cage of impure thoughts my mind a stie of the unclean spirit The 8. By unbecoming arts in Bargaining not dealing with others as I would men should with me not endeavouring by all just means to procure preserve and further the welfare of others as well as my own withholding good from them to whom it was due suffering Christ to stand at and go away from my door hungry cold naked succourless and when the leanness of his cheeks pleaded pitie the hardness of my heart would shew no compassion The 9. By slandering backbiting detracting reviling harsh flattering misconstruing discouraging sinister intentions words and actions listening to and spreading the faults of others not charitable in my thoughts and speeches to them not freely acknowledging their gifts and graces not readily receiving a good report but willingly admitting an evil one not discouraging tale-bearers flatterers slanderers not loving desiring rejoycing in caring for defending and upholding their good name not sorrowing for and covering their infirmities but practising or not avoiding my self or not hindring what I can in others such things as raise jealousies and suspicions procure an ill name to my self or others The 10. By self-love evil thoughts covetousness inordinate prizing and affecting distrustful distracting solicitous care and study in getting keeping or using temporal things discontent with my own estate envying and grieving at my neighbours unlawful motions and affections to things that are his And to these I have added multitudes of sins against the Gospel by not as I ought labouring to acquaint my self with it Ignorance flighting of not sufficiently esteeming admiring thankful for that infinite love in my Redemption not loving rejoycing in Christ and him Crucified relying on owning of him in all his Offices accounting all things loss and dung for him not taking that pains I ought to know him and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of his sufferings and to be made conformable to his death if by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead and be made perfect as my Father in Heaven is perfect Not claiming his promises as my heritage nor esteeming them the joy of my heart and as unsearchable riches exceeding great and precious not believing prizing embracing of hoping waiting for the good of them with so much readiness and steadfastness as their excelcellency and certainty requires and applying them as I ought to this and the next life not careful they have their due effects on my Soul in making me partaker of the divine nature not dying daily to sin nor acting growing in grace and in the knowledge of Christ not thirsting after righteousness and that poor mournful meek merciful pure Spirit that shall be blessed not confessing but being ashamed of Christ before men and my relation to him not denying my self taking up my Cross and following him Not doing all things to the glory of God nor rejoycing in him always Not receiving not doing the good nor improving time mercies judgments forein perturbations national discontents and divisions irreligious confusions domestick distinguishing favours as I ought Strangeness
niggardliness unto inconsiderateness of the worth fearlesness of the loss of my pretious Soul caring more for the Body then it or others not troubled for such as are negligent poisoners murderers of theirs Not sufficiently convinced of humbled for the corruption of my nature mind conscience will affections of the evil of sin and lying under the wrath of God hiding excusing lessening of not making that narrow search after not being grieved for my sins in any proportion to their multitude and greatness as considering that wretched injustice follie and unkindness I have expressed by them loving darkness hating the light receiving the grace of God in vain turning it into wantonness crucifying the Son of God afresh tempting grieving the Holy Spirit hardly forsaking my beloved sin for thy sake who hast freely given thy only Sow for mine That carefulness that clearing of my self that indignation that fear that vehement desire that zele that revenge that watchfulness resolving striving against sin improving all advantages for avoiding and subduing it I find not that is wrought in those who sarrow after a godly sort nor applying my self with all earnestness to the onely means of pardon end reconciliation in the Gospel Time and strength would fail me to repeat how oft I am partaker of Family National Church other mens sins by setting an ill example provoking consenting to conniving at countenancing permitting sin where I might correct or hinder it hating my brother in my heart â—y suffering sin upon him Delightful societie with evil doers taking pleasure in the cause of my humiliation to see them pave their way to Hell with their own â—ands making that matter of sport which nothing but the dearest drop of the hearts â—lood of God could expiate laughing â—â—t that which makes damned souls shed â—ivers of tears they shall be damned that â—ave pleasure in unrighteousness By not â—eeking the things of Christ as my own not preferring Jerusalem above my chieâ— joy not having the care of the Church lying upon me My heart trembles noâ— for fear of the Ark nor is my soul vexeâ— from day to day with their unlawfuâ— deeds among whom I live Oh how little do I mourn for the suffering of others for the signs of Gods anger for the sins 〈◊〉 the times when do I go apart and mounâ— for Englands crying abominations or looâ— upon London a sinful Citie and weep ovâ—â— it And oh the infirmities imperfection iniquities of my holy things Oh hoâ— much carelesness unpreparedness impenitency unbelief pride hypocrisie uâ— spiritualness earthliness formalitie slightness deadness heartlesness distraction indisposition weariness want of relish attends my attendance on so great a Majestie Unanswerable walking resting 〈◊〉 the meer outside of duty when I do not eâ—joy Communion with thee in them And dare such a guilty abominable sâ—ner sit down with thee at thy table such Dog that hath so often returned to his wâ—mit go and take that which is so holy such a Swine wallowing in the mire haâ— to do with those precious pearls that hath already so often trampled them under my feet carelesly neglecting or unworthily receiving those holy misteries rather defying them then adoring thee by bringing such troops of my Saviours professed Enemies unrepented sins along with me as if I came not to commemorate but to renew his Passion to crucifie him afresh Oh I have much reason to fear I am guilty of the body and blood of the Lord by earing and drinking unworthily in that I have not hungered and thirsted after nor partaken of it so often as my necessities and opportunities required nor approached it with such a solemn Preparation Examination Humiliation and cleansing the secrets of my heart from all sin nor renewed the Covenant-Conditions Faith and Repentance nor received it with that reverent behaviour and those inward dispositions nor been so especially careful in making good my Covenant Engagements and Resolutions as becomes a worthy Communicant Oh how can such a loathsom wretch go to be entertained by thee in so near a Communion that cannot expect that am below the least good look from thy gracious eye Oh how dare such a vile miscreant presume to drink of the Cup of Blessing who have deserved such a curse from thy hand as that thou shouldest hurry me to thy Bar of Justice and not admit me to the Seals of the Covenant of Grace to be covered with shame and confusion of face while thy Children come with boldness and present themselves before thee array'd in the righteousness of thy Son whilst they are lifting up their heads with joy knowing the time of celebrating their Redemption draweth nigh I may be hiding my self in the Dens and Rocks of the Mountains saying fall on me and hide me from the face of him that sits upon the Throne Dragged away by cursed Fiends to the place of Torment with hideous scrieks to an innumerable company of Devils and Damned Souls instead of going to the house of God the assembly of his people with the voice of joy and gladness with a multitude that keep holy day While the Sun of Righteousness arises with healing in his wings unto those that fear thy name thy wrath may burn against me as fire and consume me as stubble The day of joy and gladness feasting and rejoycing sacrifice attonement to thy sincere servants may be a day of wrath and trouble darkness and gloominess distress and desolation to me while they with joy of heart are saying come let us go unto the house of the Lord oh our feet shall stand within thy Gates O Sion thy Courts O God! I the great day of his wrath is come and who shall be able to stand In stead of holding out to me the golden Scepter thou mightest break me with a Rod of Iron and dash me in pieces like a Potter's vessel while they are rejoycing and giving honour to thee at the Supper I might lie under the wrath of the Lamb lifting up mine eyes in Hell begging a drop of water to cool my tongue I might see them sit down with the King at his table and my self thrust out into that place where is nothing but weeping wailing and gnashing of teeth Thou art ready to entertain those that are bidden but I am not worthy for making light of thy provision and invitation preferring the things of the world before it thou mayest justly say I shall never tast of thy Supper or if I go it might be not for the better but for the worse I might meet with a frown instead of a smile a blow a breach a curse instead of a blessing Thou mayest in stead of bread give me a stone for the Cup of the New Testment a Cup of wrath and Trembling Thou mayst turn my heart into a stone instead of turing my heart of stone into an heart of flesh The bread of life may be to me a stone of stumbling and a rock of offence to fall on me and grind me to
break of day and wondred we were not trimming our Lamps not decking our selves knowâ—ng with whom we were to meet to feast â—o day Our Beloved spake and said â—nto us Rise up my Love my Fair Ones and come away This is the day which the Lord hath made we will reâ—oyce and be glad in it How should we welcom it with suffcient joy thankfulness for the approach of so great a Blessing â—hat brings our Saviour so near unto us 'T is too too late I will arise and get â—e ready but where are my Cloths Oh â—ow poor how empty how naked am I Oh for the fairest sweetest robe of â—houghts and wishes out of my Fathers Wardrobe Oh for my silken golden twist of Faith to hang the Jewel of Godâ— sorrow and Humility Love and thankfulness upon I am never drest till they be on Oh where are they I saw them by me but just before I went to bed what was I then so long about but gathering tying raising them up Ah this vain World this envious Devil this evil deceitful Heart hath been ravelling stealing them out or hid them from me that now I am as far to seek as ever Oh whither shall I what shall I do to find them behold the Bridegroom cometh and I am not ready I cannot dare not go to day Now will my Lord be angry when he comes in to see his guests he looking over them will say where 's such a one was he not bidden I 'm sure I invited him If I go undrest he 'l ask how came I in not having on a Wedding Garment to either I shall be speechless Ah foolish 〈◊〉 careless heart to let Earthly so intangle thy Heavenly Thoughts thou knowest not now how to unloose them which heed and care might have prevented my horrible negligence and guiltiness makes mâ—â—tremble to go yet not dare to keep away for where should my polluted Soul be washt but in that Fountain set open for sin and for uncleanness Oh thou that wilt in no wise cast off him that cometh unto thee dis-intangle my thoughts from all things below and dress me up as pleaseth thee over-look my manifold weaknesses and imperfections in my preparation if I knew nothing by my self yet were I not thereby justified I have no Righteousness of my own and if I had I would not mention it before thee though I were Righteous and had the greatest fitness and perfection a creature is capable of yet would I not answer thee I would not plead but supplicate not stand upon my Right but petition thy Favour not expect thy Justice but crave thy pity I would make supplication to my Judge The Righteousness of man is not pleadable before a Righteous God if thou shouldest be extream to mark what is done amiss by the best men in the best actions O Lord who could stand we are all as an unclean thing and all our righteousness are as filthy rags my person is loathsom and abominable my preparation and best performances carry in them matter of my own death and indictment except thou oh cover them with the Robe of Christ's Righteousness and sprinkle them with his blood they can find no acceptance with thee And Oh thou who for our sake tookest upon thee our passions and sensibilities our weaknesses and sufferings so art become a merciful High Priest and pitiful to our infirmities receive a wearied sinner an overbur-thened Conscience an afflicted polluted Soul into thy care custody and cure The humility and sorrow love and purity of any Creature is not sufficient to make me worthy to be fed with thy Body nourisht with thy Blood united to thee to dwell and be one with thee but what I cannot be of my self let me be made of thee who of God art made unto us Wisdom Righteousness Sanctification and Redemption Oh weigh thine own not my merits that I may offer up an odour of a sweet smell a sacrifice acceptable well pleasing unto thee by Christ Jesus the life of them that believe and the Resurrection of the dead From him I hope for victory against my sins strength in Duty against my weakness succour in my life against temptation in my death against despair after death against damnation I presume upon thy help not because I â—ave deserv'd it for I have been an unprofitable servant but because thou hast redeemed me for thy Blood cannot be unprofitable Help me if not for my misery which I have deserved yet for thy mercies which thou hast promised for thy goodness is more ready to forgive then thy power to punish and thy Blood cries â—ouder for pardon then my sins for punishment Thou hast not yet forgiven so much as thou hast promised nor promis'd more than thou hast puchas'd Hath thy Blood satisfied for more sins than I can commit and shall it not satisfie for those 〈◊〉 have forsaken and do detest Hast thou purchased Mercy for more then repent and wilt thou not shew it on those to whom thou hast given Repentance Hast thou been so long calling that thou shouldest at last reject me so long promising Salvation that thou shouldst at last deny me I am thy Debtor for thy purchase but thou art mine for the promise 〈◊〉 could not oblige thee by my desert but thou hast obliged thy self by thy word I plead not the merit of my obedience but the mercy of the Covenant which thy Lâ—â—â— and mercy moved thee to make and thy Truth ties thee to perform Free grace made thee a promiser and thy promise hath made thee a Debtor Thou art not more Free in making promises then faithful in making them good a God that keepeth Covenant unto a thousand generations And oh that I could now laâ—â— aside my Body with my Business put off this outward man forâ— more naked The Soul Fixed inward spiritual sight that my mind might be rendred more sensible of him fit to receive 〈◊〉 deeper impression from his hand that nothing but him might enter in Away be gone ye wandring worldly vaiâ— thoughts for I am going to my God stiâ— not up nor disturb the Beloved of my Soul come not near I charge you make no noise to displease him or to call mâ— away from entertaining and enjoying oâ— him yea Lord bid them be gone and not dare to appear before thee It is the voice of my Beloved I hear him inviting me to his Table I see him coming to entertain me let all flesh therefore be silent and not be so bold as to whisper in his presence Welcom holy thoughts and pure desires Oh happy time wherein I may embrace my Saviour and solace my soul in the armes of my dearest Love Awake my Understanding Will and Affections awake my Glory and my Heart awake all ye Powers Faculties and Graces of my Soul and all that is within me be summon'd in stirred up and wholly bent to attend this service My costliest Box of Oyntment cannot be bestow'd better then on my
more constantly more effectually remember thee With all the passionate affections of a Heart full of love to wholly in love with thee with all zealous desires to glorifie thee with all fervent longings after thee always to remember thee never to forget thee Oh that the fire of love would now kindle and burn in my Soul boil up even run over with love unto thee Oh that I had the flames of a Seraphim the voice of an Angel to sing thy praise Oh that I could go out of my self when I remember thee and never think of thee without an Extasie forget and quit all the world to live upon thee The thoughts of what thou hast done is able to break an heart of Marble with love to turn a Rock into a Fountain of tears to unloose the tongue of the dumb that they may sound forth thy loving kindness Oh after all his foregoing sufferings feest thou him not my Soul fastened to the Cross conflicting with his Fathers wrath groaning under the weight and burthen of our Sins Look how his whole Body is stretched and tentered his Hands and Feet bored through his precious Blood trickles down and how miserably the Thorns pierce his holy Head See how his Looks are changed his Cheeks pale his Bloud going his Neck too weak to support his Head which lies a dying on his bleeding Breast Look how he shakes and stirs his dying Limbs what gasps and sighs he fetches as if his Soul was strugling to get out Hear you not his dying groans the taunts of the Jews yea the groans of the Earth under the weight of his Cross See the Sun blushing under a veil of darkness to behold the Son of Righteousness under an Eclipse Can oh can my bosom hold now I see the innocent Lamb of God that taketh away the sins of the world a bleeding Victim on the purple Alter of Death This this my Soul might have been the day that thou mightest have been the Malefactor and have drunk the cup of the fierceness of Gods wrath but there is he that hath done it for thee He harboured no grief of his own but is acquainted with the just and deadly griefs of others he takes our sorrows on him to bestow upon us his joy he sorrows for us that hath neither cause nor likelihood to sorrow for himself What but Gods implacable vengeance could inflict What but his all-sufficient patience could endure What but mans heinous sins deserve such his sad and wrathfull dolors Ah sinful wretches 't is our doings that he suffers our evil but his smart our trespass his punishment His breast is made a large receptable for our cares his back a common prop unto our load he was delivered for our offences he was slain but not for himself he bore our grief and carried our sorrows he was wounded for our trangressions bruised for our iniquities for the transgressions of his people was he smitten Why then are we angry with rail against the Jews and complain not of find no fault with our selves greatlier guilty they were the instruments we the procurers of his sufferings their sins practis'd ours provoked his death we pity his abus'd innocency but think not of our unworthiness and desert bewail the event and redress not the cause we have as great enmity against his Image as they against his Person they grieved him in his Body we in his Spirit and make his wounds bleed afresh he takes it as heinously we should despise him now as that they persecuted him then they were but our Executioners to inflict these punishments our sins deserved and Gods justice imposed on him 'T was thy Sins O my Soul were the associates to crucifie him thy hypocrisie was the kiss that betrayed him thy pride and covetousness the Thorns that crowned him thy oppression and cruelty the nails that pierced him thy unbelief and apostacy the spear that gored him thy Idolatry superstition Juke warmness the knee that mockt him thy contempt of Religion the spittle that defiled him thy anger and bitterness the vinegar and gall that distasted him thy scarlet sins the crimson that dishonoured him my drinking iniquity like water made him drink a Cup of wrath my forsaking my Father made him forsaken of his all the members of his body were objects of such cruelty because mine instruments of iniquity Oh I am the merit of thy sorrow I am the stroke of thy grief I am the fault of thy killing I am the desert of thy death I am the offence of thy revenge I am the grievousness of thy passion I am the cause of thy torment Oh wonderful condition of censure Oh ineffable disposition of the misery the unjust sins and the just is punished the guilty transgresses and the guiltless is stricken the impious offends and the pious condemn'd what the bad deserves the good suffers what the servant perpetrates the Lord pays what man commits God undergoes Whither oh Son of God whither descends thy Humility Whither flameth thy Charity whither proceedeth thy Pity whither encreaseth thy Benignity whither reacheth thy Love whither cometh thy Compassâ—on I have been proud thou hast been humbled I have done unjustly thou art punished I have dealt heinously thou art revengefully smitten I have committed the fault thou art tortured How much do I owe thee most Blessed Redeemer how great is the price thou hast paid for me miserable Sinner Oh I blush to see my Soul so foul and loathsom that nothing less then thy precious blood serves to wash and cleanse it I am confounded to see thee in such a case for us who cared not how vile how base how miserable we were Oh how was that justice injured that could not rest appeased in Punishment but rigour how odious and intolerable is every sin which required no cheaper blood for a Sacrifice then that of the Son of God and which not suffering only but extremity must expiate how heinous was the commission since even the remission was so grievous That made such a breach between God and us as requir'd such sufferings of the Lord of Glory wretch that I am to cost my God so dear I am not worthy for which he should have suffered the least care or trouble much less the torments of Soul and Body And yet what mean I to be so treacherous unto him How have I broken his commands and my vows even since the last Communion Oh can I Kiss the nails hug the spear desire that which is the blood of him that lost his life Can I account that light which made his Soul heavy unto death Can that be my joy which made him a wan of sorrow sweet to me which was so bitter to him shall those sins not be forsaken by me that made him forsaken of God or live in me that would not suffer him to live in the world Oh can I endure my Lord should be evermore disgusted and affronted oh how is my heart provoked and incens'd against ye my
mollifie the most obdurate sinner Oh that I could feel the vertue and power of it dissolving this rock into a fountain of tears a relenting frame a heart of flesh My lusts and Corruptions are many and mighty too strong for me but not for thy self As in the first Adam's sin man died legally so in the second Adam's death sin died virtually He suffered to save his people from their sins that himself and not sin should have dominion over us Shall not that blood mortifie my pride worldliness inordinate affections which shall subdue the whole body of sin shall I reproach or make void his death unto my own Soul or by continuance in sin that brought so great a punishment on so great a person be a greater enemy to him then the Jews were How shall we that are dead to sin live any longer therein knowing this that our Old man is crucified with him that the body of sin might be destroyed that henceforth we should not serve sin Oh that I may henceforth find and reckon my self to be dead unto sin but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord Oh how am I tempted and assaulted that I am sometimes ready to say I shall one day fall by my spiritual enemies but Faith gives us a share in the victories of Christ having spoyled all Principalities and Powers he made a shew of them openly triumphing over them as our enemies in on the Cross his triumphant Chariot took away from them all possibility to hurt though they assault us still we are assured of an absolute victory The accuser of the Brethren is cast down which accused them before God day and night and they overcome by the Blood of the Lamb that hath quenched the flames of divine fury and all our enemies are reconciled or subdued Ah my Lord how often doth sin and the world deadden my heart and affections towards thee O how dull how indisposed that I cannot pray with life nor be lively in thy service but this blood was shed to set Prisoners free and is the life of all our duties graces and comforts Oh that its power and efficacy may quicken and enliven me may put vivacity and activity in me that I may pray and hear receive meditate and discourse of spiritual things with freedom and liberty liveliness and chearfulness Oh that I may no more as I have too too often disbelieve or question the promises of this life or that to come For this Blood ratifies and confirms the Covenant of grace not only purchased but assures us of all good things Christ's Will and Testament wherein he hath bequeathed such precious legacies to his people is now of force for a Testament is of force after the Testator is dead Oh how ought it to affect me for the betraying of innocent Blood he was holy harmless undefiled separate from sinners in his hands no wickedness in his heart no sin no guile found in his mouth I and my brethren are guilty but for this spotless Lamb what hath he done and where there is no sin thou inflictest no punishment But he was numbred with the Transgressors surely then the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all for the transgression of my people was he smitten by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justifie many for he shall bear their iniquities Oh! I take thee at thy word and do believe all my sins with all thine Elects were imputed to our surety and the wages of sin inflicted on him that we might be fully acquitted and discharged I am guilty of many aggravated sins and am the greatest of sinners but with thee is plenteous redemption through Christ Jesus who shed his Blood not because we were Righteous but to make us So of infinite vertue and merit as sufficient for me as if none else were justified or saved by it He is able to save to the utmost all that come unto thee by him Oh how small how imperfect are my Graces how cold my Love how weak my Faith How faint my desires after thee but the least degree of Grace is the fruit of this Blood Oh that I may find it's efficacy perfecting that good work thou hast begun in me from strengh to strength till grace be consummated â—n Glory Through the Blood of the Eternal Covenant make me perfect in every good work to do thy will working in me that which is well-pleasing in thy sight Oh what trifles disturb my charitable affections how interrupted and inconstant my love to those who by one spirit are all baptized into one body but Christ hath reconciled us in one body by the Cross having slain the enmity thereby Oh that henceforth I may be of one heart with his Disciples and love them as he hath loved us Our God is a Consuming Fire which I cannot but dread having so much fuel about me and within me but in thy Son I see flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone who gave himself for us And shall the sentence of thy judgment disannul the merit of his sufferings of his satisfaction Didst thou not punish him that thou mightest spare us is it not as great a necessity of thy Satisfied Justice to spare the sinner as it was of thy offended Justice to punish the sin Thou art not only reconcilable but desirous to become our friend Oh how comfortable are those words of thine to my guilty Soul the Father judgeth no man but hath committed all judgement to the Son his first coming was in the flesh when he took on him our nature his second in the spirit when he imparted unto us of his spirit his third will be in power when he shall communicate to us his glory his first was to redeem his second to comfort his third will be to reward us If we be careful not to offend he will not be extreme to mark what we do amiss He will proceed not according to the Law which requires an absolute obedience without sin and will condemn all that have been guilty of any sin but according to the Gospel which admits of repentance for the forgiveness of sin and will condemn none but the unbelieving and impenitent sinner Damnation is denounced not for breaking the Law but rejecting the Gospel He is faithful because he hath promised and just because his Son hath purchas'd forgiveness The same sentence shall be pronounced as is past already in the Gospel Whosoever be-believes in him shall not perish but have ever-everlasting life Sin hath shut us out of paradise but â—e blood of Christ hath opened the Kingâ—om of Heaven to all believers It gives us â—ere a right and hereafter an admission â—â—rough this Red Sea we enter into the â—eavenly Canaan and for this cause he 〈◊〉 the Mediator of the New Testament â—hat by means of death for the redemption of the transgressions that were under â—he first Testament they which are called might receive the promise of eternal inheritance And he that
wedding Garment stain it by any pollution or seek after other lovers eat his Bread and lift up the heel against him take the Cup and betray my interest in him after I have receiv'd him cast him out of my heart live in that for which he died As the Sacrament is a memorial of Christ Crucifyed for sin let it be a remembrance to me of abhorring crucifying abstaining from it Else I hold on Satan's side seek to keep him on his throne do those things which Christ is more unwilling I should then he was to suffer all the indignities and torments the Jews inflicted he was willing to dye by their hands rather then any inconveniency should fall upon me then sin and Satan should reign over and keep possession in me he was not troubled so much to dye as he was to see me live in sin for he dyed that I might cease from sin And do I dispute when a temptation is presented whether Christ or Barrabbas shall be preferred my lusts denyed or my Lord Crucifyed that which would murther my Soul deserve to be spared or he that suffered to save it Oh how sad that he who seems to deifie Christ in the Eucharist should vilifie him in his members that such who pretend to eat and drink Christ's Body and Blood at the Church should eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence in their own houses that they should be so devout at the Sacrament as if they believed God to be in the Bread and in their lives so prophane as if they believed not God to be in Heaven Abandon and Crucifie all sin more then ever I have put off my coate of corruption how shall I put it on I have washed my feet in the blood of the Lamb how shall I defile them the Lord hath spoken peace unto me let me not return again to folly Hath he taken off my former burthen and cast it on the back of his dear Son and shall I lay more load upon him hath he loved me and washed me from my sins in his own blood and shall I with the dog return to the vomit with the sow that is washed to her wallowing in mire shall I take poyson after Physick make the Table of the Lord contemptible Hath he been so gracious to me as to vouchsafe and seal me a pardon of all my sins and shall I so abuse his goodness so turn his grace into wantonness as to run afresh on his score is not this to account the blood of the Covenant wherewith I am sanctified an unholy thing may I not fear his anger will kindle against me and that he will no more have mercy on me Oh let not those hands that were reach'd forth to receive Christ be stretched out to oppression and violence but be hence forth sacred and do no deed that may offend thee nor those lips that have touched those holy Mysteries be defiled with the Devils drivel filthy communication but be hallow'd from all words that may displease thee Oh let my Soul which by thy Sacrament is made so happy as to be so near to be never so wretched as to think any thing too dear for such a Saviour Let nothing make me leave my first love who for love of me left his Father and country Heaven and glory to espouse me Frequently consider the engagement thou hast hereby laid upon thy self No space of time can wear it off to the same strictness all our days as this though we had but this one opportunity to receive The Bonds my Soul is entered into will never be cancell'd God forgets not his promises nor my breaches though I may the matter is now out of my hands I cannot revoke this gift of my self to God indeed I have given nothing but what was his own before after these vows there is no enquiry to be made whether they should be kept This day I have avouched the Lord to be my God to walk in his ways and to keep his statutes and he hath avouched me to be one of his people I have taken Christ for my Lord and Husband to live in love and obedience to him as I hope to be saved by him Tempt me not therefore from my loyalty and allegeance the vows of God are upon me seald at the Sacrament and recorded in Heaven not one of my Fellow Communicants but are witnesses with and to God that they saw me personally publickly own and renew my Covenant with him for my Oath sake and those that sat with me I will not do this evill and sin against God Shall I alienate and pollute the heart so solemnly devoted to him break those bands asunder and fetch the Sacrifice away from the Altar tyed with such strong cords of Oaths and Covenants must I not expect to bring fire along with it to provoke God to a severe revenge of the mocks and scorns I put upon him shall I so horribly prophane his name and make my self such a forsworn perjur'd wretch Is it a light thing to break an Oath made solemnly with God shall he escape that doth such things or shall he break the Covenant and be delivered As I live saith the Lord surely my Oath which he hath despised and my Covenant which he hath broken even it I will recompense on his own head I am sure he will be true to his promises and shall I fall under his threatnings by being false to mine If a good man keep his Oaths and promises with men to his own hurt much more ought be those to God for his own good Walk on in the strength of this spiritual Food till thou comest to perfection Oh that I may still drink of the Spiritual Rock find the efficacy vertue and benefit of the Sacrament follow and stream after me while I travel in this Wilderness O that I may be stronger and stronger in all Graces more active and exacter in all Spiritual Duties hear more heedfully pray more fervently receive more believingly keep the Sabbath more exactly watch over my heart and ways more diligently be more humble and pious towards God more just and righteous to man more sober and temperate towards my self that I may walk worthy of Christ of the Covenant of the Sacrament Kingdom Gospel and Grace of God of my Birth and Breeding oh that my present deportment may be answerable to my future preferment that there may be some proportion between my frequent receiving and growing in Grace that I may shew forth his death till he come in respect of its influence on my Soul Delight in Spiritual fellowship with Christ's Members Oh that I may now bury all envy malice hatred uncharitableness and as Christ love my enemies but especially those that are partakers of the same benefits with me O that that sentence may still run in my mind If God so loved us we ought also to love one another Oh that I may shake off all ungodly society have my heart linked
every grace of thy Holy Spirit and graciously entertain us and grant we may now so behave our selves that we may not provoke but glorifie thee be savingly partakers of the Redemption we now commemorate and be found and kept in the number of thy Redeemed Ones for ever BLessed Lord who revivest by this sacred Banquet the memory of thy inexpressible Love and of my Saviour's Sufferings inable me by Faith so to apply his Passion that healing strength and saving vertue may proceed from it the strength and sweet odour of whose Oblation is a fragrant as savingly efficatious as when first offered up unto thee Inlighten my Understanding prepare my Heart Help O help me that I may now abate nothing of those affections that are due unto Thee and my ever blessed Redeemer And let me obtain the fruits and Benefits of his Death and Passion even the remission of all my Sins and the fulness of all thy Graces O bless me and thine own institution unto me and grant that I may not increase my guilt by abusing of what thou offerest me but may receive a blessing from Thee HOly righteous Father who seest nothing in me that is truly mine but dust and ashes and which is worse sinful Flesh polluted Blood O look upon some few resemblances of thine Image some raies and beams of thy Spirit some small beginnings of thy Grace which are from thee in me and supply the defects with thy Mercy Merits and Sacrifice of thy Son Turn thine Eyes O merciful Father to his Satisfaction and Intercession who now sits at thy right Hand to the Seales of thy Covenant which lie before thee upon thy Table and to all the wants and distresses which thou seest in my Soul and take this opportunity of glorifying thy Mercy thy Son and thy Grace towards me and upon me BLessed Jesus so dispose me by thy grace and Holy Spirit to feed spiritually and really upon that Sacrifice which thou offeredst without the Gate and which this Sacrament sets before me here in thy Court that I may be admitted into that holy place which thy Sacrifice hath opened and this Sacrament invites me to And help me so to drink of this fruit of the Vine that I may drink it new in my Father's Kingdom where I shall be delighted and refreshed and converse with thee withou these tipical shadows and adumbrations When the Minister is confessing sin and praying for the efficacy of the Ordinance let your Heart concur with him and put in your particular failings with their aggravations and the mercies you in special need which he omits Prostrate your Souls in the sence of your own vileness and necessities joyn with all earnestness in his confessions and Petitions as one that knows the evil of sin and the need and worth of the Blessings he Requests And let the solemn consecration of the Bread and Wine mind thee how thy Saviour was consecrated and set apart for thy Salvation And say HOw wonderful is thy wisdom and Love O God in our Recovery and Redemption How justly mightest thou have dealt with us as with the fallen Angels and left us to perish without a Remedy Howstrangely dost thou glorifie thy Mercy over those Sins that gave thee the advantage and occasion to glorifie thy Justice Even thou our God whom we have offended and provoked eternally to ruine us hast out of thine own Treasure satisfied thine own Justice and given us a Saviour by such a Miracle of Wisdom Love and Condescension as Men and Angels shall never be able fully to comprehend So didst thou love the sinful World as to give thy onely begotten Son that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life When you see the breaking of the Bread and powring out of the Wine say O Hateful Sin O wonderful Love O dreadful Justice O precious Sacrifice O merciful Saviour How gracious Lord hast thou been to Sinners How severe unto thy Son How cruel have we been unto thee and our selves How small a matter hath tempted me to that which cost so dear before it was forgiven I Cannot but here observe something very like the Sacrifice and Passion of my Dear Redeemer Thus the Bread of Life was broken Thus the Lamb of God was slain Thus his precious Blood was shed Thus his Father gave Him once to die and gives still the vertue of his Death to bless and save every one that comes unfeignedly to Him While the Minister and others are Receiving before you say WHo can sufficiently admire and adore Thee most gracious God for reconciling us unto thy self Vile sinners the Off-spring of sinful Parents thou treatest as familiar Friends as dear Children Thou mightest have brought us together hither for a Sacrifice to Thy Justice and behold one of Thine own making for us the Son of Thy Love We are unworthie of the least crum of our dailie Bread unworthie to tread upon thy Earth to breath in thy Air to lift up our Eyes to Heaven and Thou givest us Bread from Heaven libertie to tread thy Courts Thy Spirit to breath in our Hearts leave to breath ouâ— our Requests unto Thee O compassionate Father And now Since Love will chuse such unworthy Guests and Mercy be honoured upon such Sin and Misery let that Mercy that invites us makes us acceptable and graciously entertain us O Author of my Salvation and of these Mysteries that express it Object and Truth of what I am now going to receive Thou art as able to perfect me with thy Blessings out of thy Throne as thou wert to redeem me by thy Sacrifice on thy Cross O perform in me by thy Sufferings what thou doest exhibit and present By this thy Body broken give also nourishment and maintenance unto eternal life Look upon a poor Sinner at Thy Table as Thou didst on him that hung by Thy Cross and remember me now Thou art in Thy Kingdom I Am unworthy that Thou shouldst enter under my Roof much less come and sup and dwell with me but seeing it is Thy good pleasure to vouchsafe me this favour cleanse me from all my Sins that I may entertain Thee in a pure and Sanctified Heart Make this unclean Habitation that is so unfit to receive Thee a Temple for thy Self to dwell in Strengthen my Faith assist me by Thy Grace and Spirit that I may fully rely upon Thee apply Thy Sufferings unto me worthily receive Thee When the Minister gives you the Bread Think you hear Christ say to you in particular Take eat this is my Body which is broken for Thee this do in remembrance of me MY Lord and my God didst Thou offer up thy Self for me despicable forlorn wretched Sinner as well as for any other and dost Thou now give Thy Self unto me and bid me remember Thee the Redeemer of my Soul the Author the Object and Truth of this Sacrament I humbly and thankfully receive Thee with a troubled Heart that I can no better receive Thee