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A66812 Witty apophthegms delivered at several times, and upon several occasions by King James, King Charls, the Marquess of Worcester, Francis Lord Bacon, and Sir Thomas Moor ; collected and revised. Bayly, Thomas, d. 1657?; James I, King of England, 1566-1625. Selections. 1669.; Charles I, King of England, 1600-1649. Selections. 1669.; Worcester, Henry Somerset, Marquis of, 1577-1646. Selections. 1669.; Bacon, Francis, 1561-1626. Selections. 1669.; More, Thomas, Sir, Saint, 1478-1535. Selections. 1669. 1669 (1669) Wing W3237; ESTC R12699 69,627 178

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plain he told as look you now I without my Spectacles and ill eyes could read it sooner than all you that needed none and had good eyes it is not a good eye but a good faith that attains to the knowledg of such things which you pore so much upon the like you lose the meaning now I will tell you how I came to find it out I considered what had been told me with the help wherof I came to unstand what the words might signifie so that in this I am sure tradition was a means to help me to the true understanding of the Scripture Leaving the place as we were going along by the Church yard rails there was an old woman naked as ever she was born who kept her Hermitage between the roots of an overgrown hollow tree she was the most lamentable spectacle of Mortality that ever eyes beheld her eyes as hollow as a dead mans scul and her head as bare nothing but skin and bone her breasts hanging down like two leathern pockets and her belly like a Satchel her tawny skin looking rather as if it had been loose garments to the bo●…es then confines to any flesh and blood in a word it frightned us all only the Marquess was in love with her protesting that he never saw a sight which did him so much good saying How happy were it for a man that is going to bed to his grave to be first wedded to this woman 4. The Marquess on discourse about Religion said That God was fain to deal with wicked men as men do with frisking jades in a pasture that cannot take them up till they get them to a gate so wicked men will not be taken up till the hour of death 5. Treating of youth the Marquess said that it was the best course for Parents and Tutors to teach children that when they are young they may put in practice when they are grown up in riper years 6. Philo Jude●…s saith to which the Marquess assents that the sense is like the Sun for the Sun seals up the globe of heaven and opens the globe of earth so the sense doth obscure heavenly things and reveal earthly things 7. He was wont to say that a plain dealing friend whose friendly Counsel was requited with choler and disgust was like a turf that whilst a man bestowed breath upon it to enliven it it returns thanks to the well-willer by spitting fire in his face 8. Dr. Baily living at Ragland castle three years in all that time never saw man drunk nor heard an oath amongst any of all his servants and very rare it was to see a better ordered Family but that which was most wonderful was half his servants being Protestants and half Papists yet never were at variance in point of Religion which was brought about by prohibiting disputation neither was any man less accepted for his Religion if his service was acceptable but when the Castle was filled with Officers Souldiers he used to be much grieved to hear and see the Oaths and drunkenness that was then and there too much practised insomuch that when some of his chief Officers had told him how they had fortified such and such a place so and so and that here the enemy could not come and there it was impossible I but said my Lord you have left the main place open and unfortified you have made no fortification against heaven for there is such swearing and drunkenness amongst you that I fear me that from thence will come you●… greatest enemy and you have made no provision against him 9. As the Marquess was in his travel from Dneb shire toward Ragland he determined to lye in a poor Town called Bala in Mer●…neth shire where being come upon misinformation that they were enemies the people gazed on them like Owls and no Officer belonging to the Town would be spoken withal At last one of the Marquesses retinue espied a young man who had a Ribbon on his hat with Vive le Roy in it to whom he applyed himself and told him that he by his favour should be one that loved the King and that there was such a Nobleman who had served the King in no small measure who was likely to ly in the streets for want of a Lodging the young man shewed immediately great respect telling his Lordship that he should be welcom to his Mothers house who kept a poor Inn. So into the house his retinue went finding it a most lamentable receptacle for such a person yet better than none at all the Parlour where my Lord was to lye was a soft and loose ground wherein you might sink up to the ancles every step the top of the house being thatched with ill thrasht straw the corn was left in the straw wherewith the house was thatched grew and was all as green as grass The Marquess by that time that we had got a good fire and laid some loose boards over the sloor came near the house who seeing the manner of the house top and the parlour bottom said That he lay over a bog and under a Meadow but it being known who he was the Mayor of the Town with singular respect and much humanity came to the Marquess excusing his ignorance and misunderstanding offering all the civilities of his own house for which my Lord gave him many and hearty thanks breaking forth into this Meditation Lord what a thing this misunderstanding is I warrant you might but the King and Parliament confer together as you and I have done there might be as right an understanding betwixt them as there is now betwixt you and I some body hath told the Parliament that the King was an enemy and their believing of him to be such hathwrought all the jealousies which are come to these distractions the Parliament being now in such a case as I my self am having green ears over their heads and false ground under their feet 10. The Marquess of Worcester calling for a glass of Claret wine it was told him by his Physician that Claret wine was naught for his gout What said the Marquess my old friend Claret nay give it me in spight of all Physicians and their books it never shall be said that I forsook my friend for my enemy 11. The Marquess discoursing of the small profit generally got by disputation in matters of Religion said That men are often in arguing carried by the force of words f●…rther asunder than their question was at first like two ships going out of the same haven their journeys end is many times whole Countries distant 12. Drunkenness is a beastly vice and hath this property that it is one of those vices that increaseth with age which Discourse the Marquess prosecuted by a certain story of a certain Philosopher that having a drunken man brought before him to know what suitable punishment he should suffer for the offence the vice was so rarely known in those dayes that the Philosopher was wholly