day I injoyed much consolation both from the Scripture specially Psal 37.24.35.39 Though he fall meaning the good man he shall not utterly be cast down nor condemn him when he is judged but the salvation of the Righteous is from the Lord he is their strength in the time of trouble and the Lord shall help them and deliver them he shall deliver them from the wicked and save them because they trust in him also by conference that day with several persons yet in the Evening I had strong assaults from Satan from which the Lord did in part deliver me but yet much trouble from my own Evil heart the four following lessons I was desirous to learn this Evening 1. To get my Soul more setled in the assurance and apprehension of salvation 2. More sensible of my own and other mens sins and my own and other mens sufferings 3. More humbled for my unprofitableness in my imprisonment 4. More willing to dye and more mindful of death This day I received and unexpected mercy and was prevented from a temptation which made my heart rejoyce and preventing grace especially that which prevented from sin have been frequently cause of rejoycing to me This day I had little change in the frame of my Spirit either to good or Evil but some sence I had of my own weakness yet I had some comfort from those words Psal 40.17 but I am poor and needy yet the Lord thinketh on me and Psal 42.8 Yet the Lord will command his loving kindness and his Song shall be with me and my Prayer unto the God of my life This day I had a good and comfortable day to my Soul especially in Prayer Four things I saw cause to be humbled for First that I had not more sence of the sins and sufferings of Gods People or of my own Secondly That the Works Glory Wayes Ordinances People of the Lord are in such Contempt Thirdly that there is no more Stability Zeal and Courage in the Saints for good and against Evil. Fourthly That there continues still such darkness upon and divisions amongst Christians I had it much in my Heart to desire two things from the Lord viz. First Power against my sin Secondly Preparation for sufferings This day I was much troubled for hearing one sweare several Oaths and not reproving him for the same and convinced also from Psal 50.7 Hear O Israel and I will testifie against thee I am God even thy God that God had many things against me in particular and I was convinced providencially of one cause of my sufferings Being a day to seek the Lord in private Prayer I had my Heart somewhat softned and yet I was troubled it continued so hard and I learned from the 2. Cro. 6.37 That I should in this my suffering bethink my self both what I was and what I had done that I should pray more earnestly and turn more throughly and perfectly unto the Lord and that Evening I could and did pray most heartily for my Enemies and Persecutors This day being the Lords day I had several times refreshings from the Lord in Prayer and in speaking his word and that word in Iob. 10.14 Was set with weight upon my Heart If I sin thou markest me and wilt not acquit me from my iniquity I learned thence what a dangerous thing it is to sin under affliction and the dangers did appear much by that place in Lev. 26.36 And upon them that are left alive of you meaning those that were unaffliction verse the 26. I will send a faintness in their Hearts c. The same day I had a consideration of the great evil of sinning against the Lord after assurance This day I observed these words Psal 59.3 For loe they lye in wait Davids Enemies for my Soul the mighty are gathered against me not for my transgression nor for my sin O Lord I could truely and with comfort say that mine Enemies did persecute me but not for my sin or transgression which is a comfort to me this day also by a special providence God brought a dear Friend who praying wit me my Heart was much affected and melted This day in the morning my Heart was very free to pray for my Persecutors and Enemies as freely and really is I was to seek and receive pardon for my own sins I had power also to apply those words to my self Psal 62.2 He is onely my Rock and my Salvation he is my defence I shall not greatly by moved and in verse 6. I shall not be moved God did bring this Scripture as an Antidote for that Evening there came several persons one after another to tell me that I and several others were to be tryed at the Sessions and I observed that my Heart was very little moved thereat but could willingly refer my self to the Lord and be quiet in and contented with his will though never so contrary to my own carnal and natural will This Evening in discourseing with a poor Christian antient woman I found by the tenderness of Heart the had for sin and her zeal for God that she was in a far better temper of Spirit then I was in which helped on my Humility somewhat this Evening also I had some power to resist Temptation and to check Corruption I had my Heart enlargned and softned in Prayer and through Gods goodness was much freed from Temptations yet had some bodily distemper but I judged it very little and light in comparison of what it might be I experienced the Lords coming in and especially in Prayer I observed that Scripture Psal 68.28 Thy God hath commanded thy strength strengthen O God that which thou hast wrought for us yet this Evening I was moved to passion This day spent so most part in writing Letters for Christian Freinds at some of which my Heart was moved having a great desire that they might continue in the Faith and stand fast in the Lord. This day I was affected with some ill news I heard and my heart was moved with pitty towards some in affliction I had some comfort from Psal 69. verse 36.29 Those whom thou hast wounded he persecuted and afflicted are those whom God hath wounded and though poor and sorrowful yet his salvation will set them up on high but especially from verse the 32. Their Hearts shall live that seek God and this day in observing the Characters which a godly Preacher gives in his Book of those that have their sins pardoned that they are those that seek pardon wait in the use of means till they obtain it they do freely pardon others and they do love God for his pardoning goodness all which in a measure through free grace I found in me also Psal 71.20 Thou wilt bring me up again c. was very refreshing to me This day being the Lords day I had several considerations of the Sabboth as it was a sign between God and his People Exod. 31.13.17 Ezek. 20.12.17 A sign of his favour
I had my Heart several times in a good frame of Prayer Fifthly I learned f om Psal 149.2.4 How it is mutually between God and his People they joy in him and he take pleasure in them I also was thinking of the grounds of Saints doubts about their salvation viz. Ignorance in the Covenant of grace want of observing their Hearts of keeping up Holiness Slothfulness and favouring some secret sin and not profiting by ordinances I was noting that the wicked are not ashamed to profess that they endeavour hurt to the righteous without a cause Prov. 1.11 and that the godly should gâ—ow more bold by how much the more their afflictions increase 1. Thess 2.2 I had my heart this day so tned in Pâ—â—yer I was this day convinced of the negligence in that duty of desiring to see the Faces of the Saints as Paul did 1. Thess 3.11 I received a special Letter this day from our dear Brother I. B. which suited much with my condition and judgement I learned a word from one that I could not expect such words viz. I did not heretofore prize neither great things that were temporal of spiritual but now I prize the least things of either sort from 2. Cor. 7. chap. 4 5 6. I observed 1. That in the greatest trouble Gods People may have the greatest comforts 2. That their comfort is originally from God 3. That God may send in these comforts at such times and in such a manner as they expect not this Evening my Soul was a little refreshed by divers promises and softned in Prayer Being the Lords day I observed from Prov. 3.16 In all thy wayes acknowledge him that godliness is an eying of God owning of God imitating of God and respecting of God in all our wayes and upon the consideration of these two following questions I had many thoughts some of which were refreshing and satisfying to me from the first question how we may know that we have received real good benefit by our afflictions Secondly How we may know when God doth afflict in Love and Faithfulness Psal 119.75.71 also divers other meditations from Rev. 12.10 They overcame by the word of their testimony and by the Blood of the Lamb c. and concerning the spiritual Race which a Christian is to run I had some enlargedness and tenderness of heart God according to his usual way and dealing with me foreseeing what I could not to wit more approaching affliction did this day administer an Antidote even comfort by Letters from the hands of several special Freinds also those words keep sound wisdome keep my saying in the midest of thine heart and keep thy heart with all diligence were I adjudged words worthy of observation hearing this Evening of a gratious Brother and Preacher sickness my heart was moved earnestly to pray for him I observed in the Morning a special exhortaion out of Prov. 5.1 My Son attend unto my wisdome and bow thine Ear unto my understanding also verse the 23. that sin is a great folly so chap. 18.13 Judg. 19.23 This day I received a sad Letter from a Brother T. E. that is turned Quaker which added much â—o my affliction the good Lord shew him the E â—or of his way and humble and reclaim him this day I was sensible of my aptness to be angry and was put seriously to enquire into the voice and will of God by these additional afflictions and I find a need of the continuance of them and my heart brought into a more submissive frame to bear and suffer his Rod. This day I bless the Lord was a good day to my Soul I had enlargedness and much freeness with some measure of softness and earnestness in Prayer especially for the Saints of God and perticularly for my own country Christians I had also a strong resolution to watch my self more carefully and do my duty more diligently then formerly out of Prov 7. I observed several helps or means to prevent and preserve the Soul from sin viz. 1. A laying up the Commandements in the Heart 2. A looking on them or eying of them 3. Getting endeared affection to Christ 4. By taking heed of the occasions thereof This day was but a flat drowsie day to my Soul nor great good gained but sin and grace not discernably active and affections unwarmed and unquickened yet convinced of lost time and comforted a little from 1 Thess 4. With thoughts of Christs coming I was this morning instructed from wisdomes words Prov. 8.8 All the words of my mouth are in righteousness and there is nothing froward in them that I should take more heed for the time to come of a froward Month and Tongue this day also I hope I can humbly say it I injoyed the Lord both in Meditation and Prayer and being sensible of the want of skil in beleiving and more diligence in sanctification and thereupon I am resolved through grace and hope to be enabled to take more heed to my ways and as the Lord also presented that Scripture to me Thess 5.15 But ever follow that which is good This day I had a check in my Spirit for lightness of heart and besides an outward special Providence I observed I learned from the sin I saw and heard of in others to loath or at least desired to loath it in my self I also observed from Prov. 9.18 That one main Reason why People do not leave sin is because they do not know or consider the punishment of sin also what a commendable thing it is for Christians to be patient and beleiving in all Persecution and Tribulations Thess 2.1 chap. 4. This day being the Lords day through Gods grace I had my heart much softened and enlarged to call upon God especially one time I observed also that that want of the love to the truth and love to unrighteousness are the causes of men falling from the faith 2. Thess 2.10.12 also anoâ—her excellent Lesson from that word 2. Thess 3 1â— where he speaks of busie Bodies which signifies properly to be too intent about the work we should not be This dâ—â— I had my heart set somewhat upon the consideration hâ— t vâ— p â—â—â—s Pâ—ov 11.2 12 13. The â—ust â—hall be delâ—veâ—ed and the just shall be saved on of troubâ—e 〈◊〉 dâ— I was noâ—eing a great difference between having the light and the love of the truth this day I received an Answer from a Christian Freind of a Bâ—others business of concernment which signified his love and care and increased my affection to him I was somewhat affected also with the sweet Counsel of Christ to the Church of Sardis I had my Soul in some good frame especially in Prayer and comfort from the consideration of the promises in Psal 1.3 That the good man shall bear Fruit and that his Fruit shall not wither and Isa 49.25 and Jer. 33.20 From the stability of the Covenant I likewise considered 1. That there is that in Christ which answers
been very hurtful 6. That the Lord did move the hearts of the Brethren to come so willingly and express so much affection to me 7. That God moved my heart and strengthned me to come home that night which proved advantagious 8. That when the disease was at the highest and sorest the Lord was pleased in that state to keep the eye of my mind directly upon himself 9. That when I was much troubled about my Will and was afraid the Lord would have taken me away before I had finished it God heard my weak sensless crying unto him and gave me much satisfaction when it was done The Lord did not let loose any of my spiritual enemies sin or Satan upon me The Lord supported me with his former fatherly dealings and the succors comforts and experiences he had afforded in the like afflictions The Lord kept my spirit indifferent and unbyassed towards life or death not desiring the one more then the other but willing that God should choose for me The Lord shewed me things neerer thâ—n I saw them beâ—ore and smaller things as duties sins c. seemed greater to me then they had done I was helped by the Lord to beaâ— the affliction with that patience that I was so far from thinking it too heavy that I wondred it was so light I found a quicker discerning and a better taste to try words then before and to know who spoke and what was spoken discreetly seasonably and effectually That I had more sence of other sick and suffering Saints then I had before especially the poor and the rather because I considered how they wanted the accommodations I had As I had no extraordinary discoveries of the Lord so I had several small and mediate expressions of his tenderness and kindness I had clearer knowledge and greater conviction of some sins particularly 1. Self which I found to cleave to me ever to the end 2. Of Frowardness which I saw to be an abhoring to the Lord and it troubled me much to hear it in my Family 3. Wordliness especially in having to do with worldly men 4. Slothfulness in private duties 5. Want of more care to refâ—rm my Family 6. Using too many words about earthly things with my Wife 7. Using too much fleshly wisdom in my preaching and too much time wiâ—h too many words in my Sermons and too many complements to Saints offering Sacrifice or doing service unto the Lord when God would have me be receiving mercy from him this God shewed me once when being weak I went to perform duly I had comfort from the Lord. 1. From several Scriptures as Rom. 14 8. Philip. 1.21 Iob 33.26 Psal 71.3 Esaiah 1.25 Ezek. 21.44 Prov. 1â— the last verse Iohn 16.14 Ioh. 17. Prov. 7. to 21. 2. Gracious Answers of Prayer and feeding upon promises 3. From the Visits and Prayers of the Saints 4. That when I vvas to dispose of the estate the Loâ—d had given me I did find I vvas more thoughtful hovv to do it to Gods gloâ—y then I vvas to get it Some few of the Hymns found within his Papers A Hymn on the Sabboth day THe rest of rests to me is Christ in whom I do rejoyce His day a Sabboth is to me T is not mine but his choice He rose and rested on that day to shew his work was done His blest example is my Rule his Candle is my Sun This is the Queen of dayes to me For t is my Kings birth day He was begotten from the dead that I might live for aye Not live in lust to do my will but live to please my Lo d To preach his word and sit at board 'mong â—aâ—â—ts of one accord To pray and preach to sing and praise to meditate and talk From day dawning unto dark night should be our work and walk Another on the same The Sabboth is a day of rest from Service Work and Sin When God had ended all his work the Sabboth did begin God set apart the seventh day and did it sanctifie Adam in innocence was bound that holy kept should be Then to the Iews God gave command this day for to observe And sorely punish wicked men that from the Law did swerve But when the time that Iewish rites were to be done away Christ did set up instead of it another call'd by day This was prefigur'd in the Law and foretold frequently This Christ and his Disciples kept strictly and ardently This mindâ— us that the work is done which Christ ingag'd to do Christs resurrection was thereon which makes us keep it too Some without ground would sleight this day counting alike all dayes Yet I with Saints will keep the same to celebrate Gods praise Upon my going forth to Preach To be my Shephards underling his Sheep to seek and save It joyes me more then any thing no work else do I crave To free a Soul from Death and Hell more then my life I prize Converting Preachers make me one shall shine for they are wise O let me Lord have skill to bring thy lost and scattering Sheep Into thy School and Fould also to teach and feed and keep My Lambs and little Ones are like to perish and be lost Oh seek and save them Lord thy self thou knowest how much they cost Thy precious Blood was shed for them that they might ever have Enjoyment of thy precious self this had no more they crave Upon the occasion of preaching upon a Mountain How fair and eek how beautiful are those Messengers Feet That preach glad tidings on the Hills their voice must needs be sweet Sweet is thy holy Trumpets sound that calls and summons all To lissen to and list themselves under the General God gave his Law at first on smoaky Mount Sinai God oft times did appear to his in such a place and way Alters were built by Saints to worship the true God The Temple on a Mountain was built where God made his abode Christ did resort to Hills to Watch to Preach to Pray Châ—ist was transfigured on a Mount clad in divine array On a Hill he tryed was and that he overcame When from a Hill he did descend he had the greatest fame Christ wrought great Miracles on a barren Hill Christ did ascend from off a mount the Scriptures to fulfil Upon a Mount in Galile Christ gave commissions To his Apostles for to preach unto all Nations From off a Mountain high John saw that glorious sight The new Jerusalem Christs brâ—de cloathed in white and bright The Mountains minds us of Gods faithful promises Gods Wisdom Might and Providence on Hills appear all these The prosecuted Saints did hide themselves in Hills Their th' Idolators worshipped God after their crooked wills Christ Kingdome and his Church his Mount of holiness Shall break and quell all Mountains and all Hills of wickedness Gods Mounâ—ains shall bring peace the Hills shall leap and sing On Mount Olive Christ will stand to judge the world as King The barren Wilderness
whether we will follow after him It s strange and very bad sign to see Saints look more upon the sins of the wicked to ripen them for misery then after self humiliation and holiness to ripen and fit themselves for mercy He that cannot pitty the sinner and hate sin doth not reprove out of love to Christ nor from a gratious spirit He that loves not a Reprover and prizes not his reproof neither profits thereby is more his sins then his Souls friend If God hath kept thee from falling still fear watch pray and live by Faith on Christ No power can keep him in Bonds whom truth and innocency acquits Due end in being in the world is not to be to our selves Though the People of God may be killed yet they can neither be hurt nor overcome Christians though disagreeing in Opinion should agree in Affection and differing in Controversie should agree in Charity It is a very sad thing neither to be careful to do well nor repent of doing ill The Portion that Christ gives us is not near so bitter as his Cordial is sweet The fear of death is ingrafted in the common nature of all men but Faith works it out by Christians Nothing will be terrible where the love of God is apprehended and nothing greivous where love to Christ is exercised Learn to prefer Christ before self and suffering above sinning Look for suffering as for Exaltation for it is an honour to be accounted worthy and a double honour to be enabled and carried through safety A Beleiver should learn 1. To know God in Christ 2. Himself in Christ 3. Christ in him 4. Himself he was without Christ 1. wicked and wretched 2. unwilling and weak in good The Life of a true Beleiver is 1. In the Lord. 1. Thes 1.2 1. Iohn 2.27 2. On the Lord. Rom. 1.17 Gal. 2.20 3. By and from the Lord. Iohn 6.57 4. To the Lord. Rom. 14.8 Luke 20.38 Gal. 2.19 5. With the Lord. 2. Cor. 13.4 1. Thes 5.10 Rom. 6.8 The Care of a true Christian 1. To wait on God Isa 8.17 25.9 2. To walk with God Gen. 5.22.24 6.9.24.40 3. To work all his works in and for God Io. 3.21 Rom. 6.10 1. Cor. 10.31 4. To bring his will to submit to the will of God in everything Mark 26.42 Heb. 10.7 A Christian should take heed least he be giving way to his Heart to steal out now and then to sin and get some sweet Bits thereof between duties There will be a reviveing of old sins if there be not effectual repentance for them and a care by Faith through all Duties and Ordinances to get new strength against them and constant watch kept over them When God makes the World to hot for his People to hold they will let it go A Christian comes not to know the weakness of his Grace till the Spirit ceases to work in and by it nor the power of his Corruption till Satan works therein by his temptation A Christians Flesh should keep from the Shew and his Conscience from the guilt of sin Where sin is not killed it will kill Sin hath no Mother but a mans Heart nor Father but Satan Sin draws the Soul into it either by power or policy by force or by fraud Christians should not give offence carelesly nor take offence causelesly Fear thy Freinds more then thy Foes thy sins more then thy sufferings and liberty more then bondage Some Christians have four Thorns that greive them a Thorn of affliction from God a Thorn of persecution from men and 〈◊〉 Thorn of Temptation from Satan and of corruption in themselves Self loathing destroys self Love much and the more we loath our selves the better we love others When a Christian comes to be as weary of his sins as of his sufferings God will certainly put them to an end One of the cheifest works of the Soul is self exmination and yet a Christian will find himself most backward thereto and soonest weary therein The more a Soul is exercised in spiritual meditation the less with carnal Temptation The more frequent and powerful in private Prayer the more free from and the more potent against corruptions Seasonable and unexpected mercies are very sweet and acceptable It is a common principle in nature that no man can or should judge his Enemy or be judged in his own Cause Slothfulness is the Cradle of sin which the Devil Rocks Christ will be soon sencible of those Saints sufferings that are sencible of their own sins There is no power in the Creatures to do either good or hurt but as God disposeth them for it is God that puts their Sword into their hand Ezek 30.24 Take heed of reproving or upbraiding another in self passion or to provoke his Passion The Lord now shakes his visible Church as a Tree is shaken that the rotten Fruit may fall off Careless hearing makes carnal Hearts and carnal Hearts makes cursed lives He that will be much in self denial must be much in self tryal If we could be contented to be altogether without Christ or with part of Christ we need not suffer persecution When and where wickedness is most then and there the godly should strive to be most godly If Gods People could be diligent at their own work and leave God at his work they need not fear success As the Stars the higher they are the swifter their motion so Christians the more spiritual the more active in the service of God Nothing comes amiss to a godly man but sin What a Preacer does as well as what he speaks is doctrine to the People The cheif end of all Scriptures is to know God and to worship him rightly being known Christians should take heed least God should sue them upon an Action of Waste for wasting time and mispending mercies c. Sence of misery must prâ—ceed sence of mercy At the day of death but especially at the day of Judgement a Saint will wish he had sinned less served God better and suffered for him more He is a strong Christian that seeks Gods glory more then his own salvation but no Christian that seeks neither Sin undiscovered or unconsidered becomes sin unrepented There are many that serve themselves of Christ but few that serves Christ for his own sake Gods People have the love of God shewed to and set before them shed in them and sealed to them Let not a Christian leave off his running till he comes to the end of his Race but like the Moon though she be eclipsed yet forsakes not her Orb not discontinues her course at all Be sure to praise God when thou receivest power against Sin and Temptation and you shall be sure to find God ready to give you power another time when you want it Be still imployed in doing good and you shall not be much tempted or troubled with Evil. Some Christians have more trouble from and for Temptation and sin in one day then they have
in giving it to them and of his being in Covenant with them and they with him if they carefully observed it and therefore it is called the Covenant Exod. 31.17 As Circumsion a sign of the Covenant is called a Covenant Gen. 17.7 My heart was moved to pray earnestly against sin and those words in Psal 72.12 13 14. were pretious to me he shall deliver the needy when he cryeth the poor also and him that hath no helper This day I learned from Psal 74.16 The day is thine and the night it thine that the State of affliction as wâ—ll as a State of posperity is of the Lord and necessary and to continue but for a time Then from Psal 76.10 Surely the wrath of man shall praise thee and the remainder of wrath thou wilt restrain I learned not to be troubled at mens fury for God would have glory thereby and God will restrain it when he will this day I perceived three things much wanting in me First Love enough to Christ to make me willing to suffer Secondly Repentance enough for Sin Thirdly Care enough in Gods service This day I had some inlargement in Prayer I learned also 1. That Prayer is a special remedy or means to prevent the Soul from sin 2. That ordinary spiritual Judgments as hardness of Heart c. go before outward Judgements 3. That it is a very sad sign as well as a great sin to refuse the Lord and his Counsel God complains Psal 81.11 That they would not hearken to his Counsels and that they would none of him I had some sence but trouble for want of more of the sufferings of Gods People in S and I was encouraged from the following Observations and considerations First That the man is blest whose strength is in the Lord Psal 8.4 5. Secondly That when God will return to his People and bring them back from their captivity he will forgive their iniquities cover their sins and take away all his wrath Psal 85.1 2 3. Thirdly That salvation is nigh to the People of God verse 9.4 That he will set his People in the way of his steps verse 13. This day supposed to be the longest in the year I judge it my duty to be strict in observing what glory to God or good to my Soul such a long day would produce 1. In the morning as the night before I had my Heart drawn out to pray earnestly against temptations especially one and I observed presently the temptation set upon me but the Lord delivered me from it and removed it from me for which my Heart was affected moved and raised to praise the Lord. 2. I learned that affliction draws out the Heart of the godly much in Prayer and Supplication Psal 8.11.13 3. I learned that it is not enough for a Christian to do good but he should carefully endeavour to do the cheifest and most seasonable good 4. By visiting some of the poorest Prisoners I observed this that sometimes in doing good a man may be in danger of receiving evil or a good disposition may bring a man lyable to temptation in the morning I had encouragement from Psal 91.9.10 Because thou hast made the Lord which is my refuge and there shall no evil befat thee I had much refreshing also in the communion of divers Christians I learned also from Revelations the 2.26.27 compared with the 12. Chap. 11. That he that suffereth for Christ overcometh ferendo vincere spero at the noise of the great thunder this night I was moved to consider the greatness of Iehovah whose voice was so loud I was troubled in the morning with many bad thoughts yet had some trouble for them but out of Psal 102.4.10.24 I observed three things 1. That the heart may be withered 2. That after God hath lifted up a Saint he may cast him down again 3. That Davids argument to move God not to cut him off in the midest of his dayes was because Gods years were throughout all Generations Being the Lords day I found my Heart in as good a frame as I had any day both in respect of tenderness and enlargedness in Prayer and likewise learned somewhat from divers Scriptures especially from 2. Pet. 3. From the consideration of what God had promised to do and the patience and long suffering of Christ and what the Saints did look for what manner of persons Christians ought to be viz. 1. Holy in all manner of Conversation and godliness 2. Looking and expecting the coming of Christ 3. Diligent in geting assurance and being found acceptable 4. Accounting that the patience of God intended from their good 5. Watchful and careful least they be drawn aside into Error 6. Lastly growing in Grace and in the knowledge of Christ I was observing from Psal 105.8 How God remembered his Covenant with his People yea and for them Psal 106.47 also his mercy Psal 98.3 And though they either forget or neglect either the one or the other yet what abundant comfort is this to Beleivers This day was a very good day to me in respect of several favours received from the Lord for which I desire to be earnestly thankful I learned to consider how far a man may go with a meer ascent to truth without experiencing the power of the same working in us I was also earnest with the Lord that in case he did not put an end to my sufferings he would put an end to my sin This was a day better resolved on then observed Oh how oft and in how many wayes are men disappointed in their purposes which shews all good to be in the hand of God and man to be a poor changeable weak Creature yet from Psal 107. I was noting how ready God is to hear the Cry of his People for four times in that Psal He is said to hear their Cry in trouble and to deliver them out of their distress verse the 6.13.19.28 and yet it is as observable how backward men aâ—e to return praises to God and therefore in the Psalms it is also said four times Oh that men would praise the Lord for his goodness veâ—se 8.15.21.31 Though this Evening I had some inward refreshing yet this Night I had sore Temptations of several sorts This day my Temptations continued strong yet with a resolution in the strength of Christ to resist beware of them and in consideration oâ— the words nevertheless notwithstanding and yet which I find frequent in the Scriptures used and applied to Gods People both after their sinning and under their suff ing I had some comâ—ort as Psal 106.8 44. 1 Kings 2. chap. 12. Psal 40.17 42.8 This d y frâ—m several Scriptures as Psal 119. 4. Acts 6.4 1 Cor. 7.3 compared togethâ—r I was convinced it was a special duty in which I was too nâ—gligent to give ones self to Pâ—ayer I also observed that neglecting the season so serviâ—e or duty pâ—oves sometimes a perfect oâ—ission of that dâ—â—y I also was observing â—he great
she was nursed her whole time This day I observed from Lev. 26. Gods way of dealing outwardly with his People either in mercy or affliction according to their obedience or disobedience but though they have sined and brought punishment upon themselves yet upon their confession of sin humbling of their hearts and accepting of their punishment God remits their sins and removes the punishment this day God in his providence ordered that I should hurt and bruise my Leg which might have been much worse I humbly praise God for it and hope to profit by it This day my heart was very much enlarged softened and quickened in Prayer twice but especially once and raised through the power of God exceedingly to be willing to suffer I learnt 1. To beware of sleight and short repentance a thing I often consider off 2. To fear secret self conceitedness after the well performing of a duty 3. To take heed of the corrupting Flies of vain thoughts and idle words 4. From Pâ—ov 24.1 Not to desire the company of evil men 5. To see consider look and receive instruction from the Evil of others 6. That such as do the will of God but not with a good end shall be punished Hos 1.4 This day I was troubled with vain and wandering thoughts in solemn duties yet was made sensible of them and in some measure resisted them effectually I Learned from Prov. 25.22 how to perform my duty towards my Enemies and from chap. 26. 26. the danger of keeping secret sins that God will discover them before the Congregation God favoured me this day with kindness from and affected me somewhat with the relation and reading of Gods wonderful and strange works at which I desire to stand in admiration and to fear and tremble also to be affected with the sufferings of other Saints that differ from me I observed also from Prov. 26.23 How a wicked Hea t may be covered and undisceâ—ned as a Potshe d covered with dross also from chap 27.12 the Character and care of a prudent man viz. to foresee the evil and hide himself and from 2. Tim. 1. to learn to partake of sufferings and not to be ashamed of sufferers This day though I rose earlyer then ordinary yet through the multiplicity and continuance of company I made not such good impâ—ovement thereof I cannot say I profited much or gained or learned any thing unless it w re from P ov 27.12 That a prudent man foreseeth the evil and hideth himself also from 2. Tim. 2.11.12 I â—â—se ved great encouragement to suffer for Christ because we shall live and raign with him also to labour to be pure fit Vessels for the Lord to follow aâ—ter Righteousness Faith Peace Charity c. I was convinced this day of four things I was too negligent in viz. Studying the Scriptures sending to the Christians especially those to whom I relate finishing somewhat I intended and begun and improving my Talent in this place more to the benefit of other poor Souls I had my heart softened and in some measure enlarged this day in Prayer and truely affected with some Christians that came to see me I had some comfortable considerations from three promises Prov. 28.10 20 26. The upright shall have good things in possession who so walketh â—prightly shall be saved and who so walketh wisely shall be delivered I had also comfortable from Hos 3 4.5 Compared together and was put to consideâ— those in 2. Tim. 3.2 c. This morning though too slothful I had some bâ—eathings of the Spirit of the Lord and kindled affections in Pâ—ayer those words in Prov. 29.25 were some comfort and support to me the fear of man bringeth a sâ—aâ—e but who so putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe among other considerations I had this day 1. I considered that it was the needfulâ—st thing in a dangerous time to get assurance of Gods favour and salvation and to make hast to repent and return to the Lord. 2. To consider our spiritual warfare and to qâ—iâ— our selves like Christians in striving for victory over our â—piritual Enemies I had comfort from that blessed pâ—omise Ier. the 33.7 8. Thâ—s dâ—y I had no great benefit to my Soul only from Hos 4 8.10 12. I observed 1. That to have the heart set on iniquity 2. To leave off taking need to the Lord. 3. To lose the heart or have it indisposed to good 4. To go from under God 5. To be left â—o â—â—n oâ— igno ant of the mind of the Loâ—d are most sad things alâ—o from the 2. Tim. 4. 1. To Watch 〈◊〉 all â—hiâ—g 2. Endure 3. To be doing our pâ—esâ—nâ— duty 4. Looking for our cha ge and dâ—â— nâ—â—ng oâ— God to be kept â—â—om evil were mâ—â—â—asoâ—â—â—e preâ—â—nt Lâ—ssons I â—ound some softnâ—sâ— â—â—nâ—eâ—ity of heart thiâ— daâ— and h d tâ—re speâ—â—â—â—â—d 〈◊〉 in things in my hea t to deâ—iâ—e â—â—om Coâ—â— 1. 〈◊〉 A th ough repentâ—nce 〈◊〉 recoveâ—y 〈◊〉 of foâ—mer sins 2. To be perâ—â—ctly pâ—â—served â—o the â—â—â—e to come from evil 3. To be 〈◊〉 or my dissolution or sufferings I received much kindness from the Lord this day the words in Hos 5.15 Till they acknowledge their iniquity or be guilty I considered and thought I câ—â—e short thereof yet those words Prov. 28.13 He that confesseth and forsaketh his sin shall find mercy This day I injoyed some measure of the Spirit in softening and drawing out of my heart in Prayer and somewhat in beleiving and tenderness towards others and those words Eccles 3 18. Of Gods manifesting unto men that they are but Beasts I desired to apply and to take heed of being guilty of any of those sins mentioned Hos 4. 1. Of setting the heart upon any iniquity verse the 8. 2. Of leaving to take heed to the Lord. 3. Of losing the heart or growing heartless in good 4. Of going from under God also from Titus the 1.14 not to give heed to the Commandments of men This was a day wherein God abounded in kindness towards me yet I was convinced that I was not guilty enough or sensible enough of mine iniquities as God requires Hos 5.15 and from Titus 2. I learned that a true Christian especially a Minister of the Gospel should be 1. Sound in doctrine 2. Sound in Faith and sound in Speech And concernining beleiving I had three things 1. To study more the grounds of Faith and the reasons inducing thereto 2. Not to give way to any thing against beleiving 3. To maintain Faith by holiness This day God was pleased to enlarge my heart in good and to weaken corruption making me sensible also of the present evils both of sin and suffering I learned from Titus 3.8.9 That Râ—generation Justification and Adoption are of Gods Love Pitty Mercy and meer Grace also to be ready to diligent in and profited by every good work and to be angry with my self for sinful things and deny my self in lawful things oh my trouble
for suffering many months Poverty is the gift God as well as Riches When Saints perceive their sins growing weak they should prosecute them most A wicked man may give good Counsel from God to a good man and he not taking it may be destroyed Pharoh Necho to Iosiah It may be said of many a man that he is honourable and yet a Leaper 2. Kings 5.1 There is no evil in sin but there is some what in the name of Christ that speaks the contrary as sin is darkness so Christ is light c. A Beleiver is to shut the Eye of Reason if he will clearly see with the Eye of Faith The great Principles and Misteries of Divinity 〈◊〉 are to abide in God to live on God to walk with God and to live to God There are three sorts of Gospel Sacrifices 1. Thanksgiving Psal 51.17.19 Amos 4.5 Heb. 13.15 Hos 4.2 2. Liberality to the Poor Mich. 6.8 1 Cor. 16.1.2 2. Cor. 18.19 Heb. 13.16 3. Our selves Rom. 12.1 Sanctifying Thoughts 1. The Thoughts of God free and constant love to me 2. The thoughts of what Christ hath done for me 3. The thoughts of what I have been and done against God 4. The thoughts of what God and Christ are to me and I to them 5. The thoughts of Christs Excellency and some Saints Eminency 6. The thoughts of Death and Judgement 7. The thoughts of what I shall be and shall have hereafter A Christian should be much taken and rejoyce at 1. The least Revelation of Truth 2. The least Communion with God 3. The least additional measure of holiness 4. The least success God gives him in his work T is observed that the first word spoken by Christ in his ministerial office is an assertion to or of the authority of Scripture Mat. 4.4 God is not only the holy one of Israel but the holy one in Israel Ezek. 39.7 By Prayer God doth converse with me by Preaching he doth teach me by Meditation he doth fill me by Saints society he doth warn me by singing Hymnes he doth ravish me by his Supper he doth feed me By his Love he doth endear me to him by his Son embolden me By his Spirit unite me to him By his promises stay me with him Publick Disputations are seldome rightly managed being too often attended either with firceness and frowardness too much insulting over an Adversary if any advantage be gained or be left to oneâ— self in some thing or other to be worsted and shamed Or if some good hath been not to be so ready to give God the glory as in other things A suffering Christian should see that Innocency be the beginning and Patience the end thereof Six necessary Questions that every Christian shoulâ— ask his own Heart 1. Whether I am a Saint or a Hyppocrite a wise or foolish Virgin 2. What are the truest and strongest grounds I have of my Saintship 3. Whether if I be a true Christian is my Spirit Legal or Evangelical 4. With which of the Saints mentioned in Scripture can I most compare my self 5. What are the Reasons in respect of my self why I continue without full assurance 6. What is my master sin and what power hath it in my Soul or I over it God carries on the work of Grace in Believers 1. According to their natural parts and natural constitutions 2. According to the means they are under whether Legal or Evangelical Preaching 3. According to the things he hath to do by them or calls them to suffer 4. According to the shortness or length of time they have to live 5. According as they have been before the Conversion greater or lesser Sinners Recreations the Object and Subject being right must be 1. Not on Lords-days Fast-days c. 2. Not in the Night for it is given for rest 3. When we stand in need of it 4. Seldom 5. Not over-long 6. Not over costly 7. Suitable to mens conditions 8. To a good end In Duties we should 1. Look for to meet and enjoy God 2. Expect to hear and receive from God 3. Return somewhat to God As a Watch must be dayly wound up by him that carries it otherwise it is useless So the Soul must be spiritually wound up by Christ else it will be unuseful and unserviceable Christ hath more to do to bring us to be reconciled to God then to bring God to be reconciled to us Reasons 1. Because God is willing Men unwilâ—ing 2. Because God is satisfied and contented with Christs merits so are not Men. Soul freedome 1. To be freed from doubts of its eternal condition 2. Of scrupulous opinions 3. Of the power of Corruption 4. Of stinging Conviction of the Law 5. Of the fiery fierce temptations of Satan 6. From the fear of death Saints do commonly sleight and undervalue what ever suits not with their own Judgements James 1.8 A double minded man that is a man whose mind hangs between a double Object Christ and the World A Saint that hath been sick and near death and is recovered and returns into the World again is like a poor peeld Sheep that is brought out of the high Hill and Storm and almost to the Fold and then chased again to the storm Or a weary Traveller that is near his home that must needs return a great part of his way to fetch what he did neglect Or a man that hath been long at Sea and is in sight of shore but forced to Sea again Or an Apprentice that when he expects to be set at liberty must serve another Apprentiship Or Iosephs Brethren who returning home was forced back again into Egypt Things that seem small to Christians at a distance when God brings them to the Soul they seem great as persons or things at a distance as sin duty c. Two great Evils follow hardness of Heart Rom. 2.5 Impenitency and Wrath. When may sin be said to be a mans own 1. When he commits them out of his own as Satan doth Iohn 8.44 1 Iohn 38.9 2. When he hates it not but loves it yea more then any good Psal 52.3 3. When he nourisheth it Iam. 5.5 They pick the sweetest bits to nourish the hearts 4. When a man provides for it Rom. 13.14 5. When men live in sin 1. Tit. 5.6 6. When it is their Element meat Prov. 1.7 Sleep v. 16. Apparel Psal 73. Chain Prov. 10.23 Men carry their lives as men carry pretious water in a brittle Glass 2 Sam. 14.14 or a Candle in a paper Lanthorn A Saints second part of Sin is sorrow A true Saint hath his high places to walk upon Heb. 3. Last As 1. God himself his being 2. Christ as Mediatour his Light Strength c. 3. The Spirit as his Air. 4. The word as his Staff 5. Mount Zion as his delightful place 6. Gods decrees as his Record 7. Experiences as his helps 8. Hopes of Salvation as his encouragement The Evils I have feared and experienced in my self