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A05326 A helpe to discourse. Or, A miscelany of merriment Consisting of wittie, philosophical and astronomicall questions and answers. As also, of epigrams, epitaphs, riddles, and iests. Together with the countrymans counsellour, next his yearely oracle or prognostication to consult with. Contayning diuers necessary rules and obseruations of much vse and consequence being knowne. By W.B. and E.P. Basse, William, d. ca. 1653, attributed name.; Phillips, Edward, 1630-1696?, attributed name.; Pond, Edward, d. 1629, attributed name. 1619 (1619) STC 1547; ESTC S117185 70,959 300

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Q. Wherein doth hee most manifest himselfe A. In the Scripture the Heralds of his truth and the witnesses of his mercies Q. Wherefore are the holy Scriptures contayning the mysterie of mans saluation folded vp by God in such obscuritie and darkenes as sometimes Maximilian the Emperour in the first of his 8. questions to the learned Abbot Tritemius demanded A. The holy Scriptures as a Father saith vnlesse they bee read with that Spirit by which it is beleeued to be written by the inspiration of Gods ' Siprit for the direction of mans life and that with humilitie and desire to know and be gouerned by it cannot be vnderstood but remaine as a dead letter in the efficacie thereof Concerning whom yet further S. Gregory saith though they haue in themselues that height and depth wherein their mistery may exercise the wisdom of the learned yet haue they also that easinesse and plainenes that the simple may be comforted taught being in themselues that wonderfull riuer both shallow deep wherein as the Lambe may wade the Elaphant may swim Of whose depth S. Austin thus speaketh further The holy Scriptures are thus written saith hee that by their height the proude may bee abased as with their easinesse the simple may be comforted Adding withall that it is our dulnes of capacity that they seeme so hard vnto vs and the vaile of our hearts which cannot bee remoued vnlesse by him which hath the key of Dauid which opens where no mans shuts and shuts where no mans opens which only can open that sealed Booke And therefore as another father saith God hath not wrapt vp these high mysteries of Scripture in such obscuritie as euying mans knowledge but that the study and industry of man might be the more profitably exercised adding withall that no man ought to be too much deiected that he cannot vnderstand euery mysterie therein for that there are some things that to bee ignorant of though they may somewhat subiect thy presumption will not indanger thy saluation for that all things are not necessary to bee perceiued of all And therefore according to Saint Austins rule if thou louest the law of God manifest it in reuerencing that which thou vnderstandest not as in practising that which thou dost vnderstand and thou shalt haue first wherewithall to drinke after stronger meate to eate and possesse thy selfe patience knowing that whilst we are in this mortall flesh wee can perceiue but as in a mirrour yet that hereafter we shall bee translated to a higher Academy where God himselfe shall bee our Schoolemaster and then we shall see him as he is where all shadowes vanish and the substance onely is embraced where being ascended we shall know the truth of all either argued or debated of in this sublunary religion Q. What were those three couiunctions Saint Barnard so wonderfully wondered at the like whereof neither can nor shall euer be done againe vpon the face of the earth A. Three works three coniunctions hath that omnipotent Maiesty made in the assumption of our flesh wonderfully singular and singularly wonderfull euen such as the verie Angels were amazed at 1. Coniunction of God and man 2. Of a Mother and a Virgin 3. Of Faith and the heart of man to beleeue this Q. What is the greatest of these coniunctions A. The first coniunction is wonderfully great wherein is conioyned earth and God Maiestie and infirmitie so much vilenesse and so much puritie for nothing is more pretious then God nothing more vilde then durt ● Nothing lesse wonderfull for by the eare of man was it neuer heard nor by the heart of man euer conceiued that a virgin should bring forth and become a Mother and that there should bee a Mother that should yet remaine a vir-Virgin The third is inferior to both first and second but not lesse strong that mans heart should haue power to beleeue this Q. How many seuerall wayes since the beginning of the world hath God brought foorth man A. Foure wayes according to Anselmus which are these 1. A man without the help of either man or woman as Adam 2. A woman out of man without the helpe of woman as Eue. 3. By both man and woman according to the common course of Nature 4. Of woman wit hout man as Christ. Q. By the coniectures of the learned for how many thousand of yeares from the Creation was the world ordained to continue A. Sixe thousand yeares because that as in 6. dayes the world and all that therein is was created and so God rested the seuenth so thereupon it is probably collected that in 6000. yeares which are but as 6. dayes in Gods account it shall againe be dissolued after which shall follow an euerlasting Sabaoth of rest of this opinion were many of the Fathers and also other more modern writers as that there should be two thousand yeares before the Law and two thousand yeares vnder the Law and two thousand yeares vnder the Gospell Q. But of this what shall I determine A. Let this Doctrine then suffice thee and all other good Christians that wee are religiously to expect the end of the world and comming of Christ and so dayly expecting prepare our selues thereafter but not curiously to prie into those hidden and vnreuealed secrets not imparted to men or Angels Q. Why almost among all Nations is the name of God expressed in 4 letters A. The learned doe agree that this is done partly from the imitation of the Hebrewes but more especially from the meere prouidence of God which otherwise could not bee as among the Latins it is Deus the Aegyptians Theut the Persians Syro the Hebrewes Adny the Greekes Theos the Arabians Alla the French Dieu the Germans Gott And withall to signifie that as his name consists of 4 letters so his mercie hath a relation therevnto in that he will haue his elect gathered vnto him from out of the foure quarters of the world Q. What are those things that cannot be defined A. The Schoolemen affirme God for his exceeding formosity and beauty Sinne for the exceeding deformitie and loathsomnesse the first matter for the exceeding informitie an● inexistency Q. Which number is the most vitall among men A. Eight because 8. soules were only preserued in the Arke and 8. only in the Scripture mentioned to be raised from death to life Q. Since Adam and Methusalem liued 900. and odde yeares why did God neuer suffer any to accomplish 1000. A. The most of the learned are of opinion that this is not without some deep mystery and which may be partly because a 1000. yeares hath a type of perfection God neuer suffered any to fulfill it to shew that there is no absolute perfection in this world Q. What is man and his perfection in this world A. Man in this world is as he were the center or epitome of all creatures for seuerall creatures liue in seuerall elements as water-fowles and fishes in the water Birds in the ayre Beastes
●nd the Fox take her and yet they sparde her me But once the Priest and she is gone Iest. 7. A certaine boysterous Rusticke yet prompt and conceited trauelling on the way with a long pike staffe on his necke was suddenly and furiously assalted by a great Mastiffe which came vpon him with opē mouth violence as if hee would at once deuoure him who presently to withstand the danger by rescue of himselfe runs the pike and sharpe end thereof into his throte whereupon he presently dyed which the owner thereof seeing comes earnestly vnto him and betweene threatning and chiding asked him why hee stro●ke him not rather with the blunt end of the staffe why Sir quoth hee because your dogge ranne not at mee with his tayle Iest. 8. A certaine vaine glorious Souldier bragged in all places that he came of 9. Kings that hee had of his kindred and going about to name them could reckon but sixe a Player standing by told him he knew the rest The three Kings of Colleyne Iest. 9. A certaine Astronomer had deuined of king Henrie the seuenth of England that he should dye in such a yeare the king hearing of it sent for him and questioned if he were an Astronomer who told him that he did professe that art the king asked him if he could foretell where he should bee in the Easter-holy dayes he answered be could not then quoth the king thou shalt see mee diuine more certainly for I tell thee thou shalt bee in prison whither hee Iest. 9. One asked a prostitute Ladie of Florence how her children so likely resembled her husband shee so vsually commersing with others Andswered I suffer no other to Board my ship before her carriage be full Iest. 10. One asked a Painter why seeing he could draw such excellent proportions he begot such deformed children who answered In tenebris quidem fingo sed in die pingo I make the one in the light and the other in the darke Iest. 11. A certaine conceited traueller beeing at a Banquet there chanced a Flye to fall into his cup which hee being to drinke tooke out for himselfe and afterwards put it in againe for his fellow being demanded his reason answered that for his owne part he affected them not but it might be some other did There is extant to this Iest an Epigram of Sir Thomas Mores which I haue here inserted Muscas ê Cratere tulit Conuina priusqu● Ipse bibit reàdit rursus vt ipse bibit Addidit causam muscas ego non am● dixit Sed tamenè vobis nes●io nunquis amat Thus Englished Out of his glasse one tooke a Flie In earnest or in iest I cannot tell but hauing drunke Return'd it to the rest And for he would offencelesse seeme He shewed his reason too Although I loue them not my selfe It may be some here doe Iest. 12. One asking a merry blinde man in what place he lost his eyes answered from either side his Nose So likewise Diogines beeing at dinner with a bald man thus sayde honest friend I will not speake thy contumely but commend thy haires that flew from so bad a head Iest. 13. It is reported of one Iames de Castello a Bononian a man of eminent knowledge and learning but exceeding little stature sent an Embassadour to Pope Boniface the eight insomuch that deliuering his Embassage the Pope imagining that hee kneeled on his knees made vnto him long action with his hands that hee should rise vp vntill one of his Cardinals gaue him to vnderstand that he was another Zacheus Iests A certaine fellow condemned and at the place of execution began to disputeth with iudge by what conscience he could hang him a poore thiefe and no malefactor who asked him by what conscience he could take from another that was not his and thus the controuersie began and continued till at last the hangman turnes him off and so ends the strife A CONCLVSION TO this book in way of answer to him that demanded what was the perfect vse of Bookes A. To increase knowledge confirme iudgement compare the times past with the present and draw vse out of both for the future to bring foorth the dead speaking and conferring their knowledge to the liuing according as the Poet to this purpose wittily writeth O blessed letters that combine in one All ages past and make one liue with all By you we doe conferre with who are gone And the dead liuing vnto counsell call c Bookes the most sweet commendable and delectable houshold stuffein the world the most free and trustie reprouers for Nullus amicus magis liber quam Those dead yet liuing companions those regular obsequies that speake not but when they are desired and no longer then they are contentiue from their Treasurie what continuall Physicke hath the World receiued to purge out the dulnesse of naturall capacitie and the very Image of death as the Poet stiles it Nam sine doctrina vita est quasi mortis Imago Yet from this sweet and excellent society what a part of the world are exempted and liue in darknesse Therefore thou which enioyst the vse thereof and art conuersant in their Councels be more in goodnesse as thou art in knowledge and then this conclusion shall well befit thee thy house and thy houshold-stuffe Conclusion Tum foelix domus est tum numerosa supplex Cum pius est Dominus bene parta domus Englished Happy the house the goods whereof excell When the owner 's Godly and those gotten well FINIS THE COVNTRY-MANS COVNSELLOR OR Necessary addition to his yearely oracle or Prognostication Calculated by Art as a Tutor for their helpe that otherwise buy more than they vnderstand Beginning with this yeare of our Lord God 1619. And so continuing forward as the Benefite and Vse shall incourage With many other necessary Rule● and Obseruations of much profit and vse being knowne By E.P. Philomathem LONDON Printed by Bern. Alsop for Leonard Becket and are to bee sold at his shop in the Temple neere the Church 1619. TO THE BVYERS yearely of Almanackes and Prognostications Prefatio siue Admonitio pia vtilie THou whose short span of life as plaine appeares Hangs but vpon the wast of some few years Which that Arithmetician best of men Cast but in his account threescore and ten How soone they will determine digge thy graue Thou maist obserue that seest what wings they haue How with no sound they wheele their times about Eating with silence Liues and Leases out As here 's a date but yesterday renude Nor more it seemes yet doth a yeare conclude In which that Dayry of little cost Is now runne out and that small value lost Wherewith t' was purchasd if thou not extend Thy thoughts to make it thus farre forth thy friend That euery yeare thy Almanacke thou buyest Thou art one yeare nearer to the yeare thou dyest And from that meditation so prepare Thy lise that death neere seize thee vnawares